The Squeaky Clean Legacy: Chapter 17.5 What Comes Out Of The Fire Part Two

ElsewhereatSimState,theRomanshavemovedoutoftheirdormandintoahouse.ItendtousepremadeMaxishousesandtartthemupabit:onepartlaziness,onepartmasochism.

Romanssome?mesneedtobetoldtodotheirhomework,especiallythefakeones.

Fornoverygoodreason,Idecidedtodecoratetheen?rehouseinMaxisAtomic.

WhichisnotveryRoman,butperhapsthatiswhyitamusedme.

Marcusisostensiblythehouseleader,buttherearealsoonetoofewbeds.ThismeansthatoGenasnot,hemustsleepintherecliner,butIlethimhavefirstcrackatthecomputer.

YoumayrememberthatVespasianCaesarhasbeenda?ngAlexGoth.ThisishowculturallydiversePleasantviewhasbecome:reversedgenderpremadesareroman?callyinvolvedwithRomans.

Inanycase,ifanyoneissuitedtobeanEmpress,it’sAlex.

Andshedoesn’tevencareaboutthat.

SomuchthebeOer.

Ireallylovethemtogether.

Vespasian:I’vebeenmeaningtodothatforawhile,youknow.

Alex:Iknow.

Otherpeoplearenotsoeasytofixup,andrequiremajorimporta?ons.

Thisisshortfor“IneededsomemoreSimselves.”

ThemainRomanlinehasalwaysmarriedinSimselves,andwearerunningshort.LilyAzure,theauthorofAnApocalypseofIce,andAng,theauthoroftheDevereauxLegacy,weregoodenoughsportstovolunteer.

BecauseeveryonewantsthechancetohaveCassiusspawn,nomaOerhowdistantlyrelated.It’severygirl’sdream.

RoseFyre,ontheleG,writestheBuffyverseApocalypse.Jamie,ontheright,writestheBohemianLegacy.AndbothhavewriOengenera?onsoftheBoolpropianRoundRobinLegacy.

Jamie:DoyouthinkI’llgetmyLTWhere?Doyou?

RoseFyre:Well,let’sputitthisway...

RoseFyre:Ifyou’reaFamilySim,andyouwanttogetmarriedin,maybeyoushouldrollsomethingotherthanMarrySixChildren.

Jamie:Aw.

Ang:Don’tlookatme.Pleasure.We’renotroubleatall.

Hey,it’sSimMe!Idon’tshowuptomanyeventsanymore,butit’sMarcus’partyandit’sallladySimselves!

Cait:Doubleminus.

RoseFyre:Doubleminus.

Andthey’reallge]ngalongbeau?fully.

Great,DuodecimusScopesRoom,andit’stheonewomanhecan’thave.

Cassius:Noway.

Flavius:Oh,look,it’sDe!Redhands,De!Redhands,andthenlet’sgoMeetSomeoneNew!

Cassius:I’llmakeanexcep?onforDad,becausehe’sadoof.

Thisis,ofcourse,anelaboratesetupsothatDuodecimuscanmeetanappropriategirl,andRoseFyreistheonehelikesbest,nocontest.

Whichisgood,becausetheothers’lackofinterestisappalling.

Televisionandkickybagaresomuchmoreappealing.

Flavius:AndMee?ngSomeoneNew.Don’tforgetthat.

Clearly,askingforadateisinorder.

WithabriefpauseasMollystealsanewspaper.

Duocdecimus:AmIcharming?

RoseFyre:Onlypartofthe?me.

ThiswouldhavebeenfasterifRoseFyrehadn’tbeenblowinghotandcold,andiftheycouldhaveseOledonatopicofconversa?on.

Itwouldhavehelpedifhe’dquitprankingher,too.

Duodecimus:AmIcharmingthis?me?

RoseFyre:Well...

Shutup!Shutupandkissheralready!

OK,that’sbeOer.

Actually,thedateendsverynicely,andtheyhavetwoboltsandlikeeachother,sothat’sonecoupleoffmyhands.

Worthing’sgottroublesofhisown.

Marcus:Youdon’treallyseemtolikebeingaRomanceSimmuch.TwentySimultaneousLovers,andyou’renotenjoyingyourselfatall.WhynottryPopularity?It’salmostthesamething.

Worthing:Huh.I’llgiveitatry.

Fivesecondslater—

*10BestFriends*Worthing:Thanks.Marcus:Don’tmen?onit.MarcuslovesgivingPopSimadvice.

AndMee?ngSomeoneNew,ofcourse.

Marcus:ArchieVe?nari?Youmustbenew.

Oh,healreadyknowsafewpeople.

LionelPleasant:Archie!

*Eurokiss*

Don’tlooksosurprised.Lionel’sPop,andtheyhavealotincommon.

Lionel:Lovethetats.

Archie:Why,thankyou,sodoI.

LinusHanby:Yeah,sodoI.

Lionel:Takesballstogoshirtlesswiththem,though.

Archie:Thatismymiddlename.

Lionel:Angus,somedayyou’regoingtodothattothewrongperson.

Angus:Likewho?

Archie:Likemeiswho.Listen,IwillkickyourbuOrightinfortheexercise,sodon’tevenstartwithme.

Archie:Isaidbackoff.

Archie:Andthatworksforme,too.

Unfortunately,Angusdoesnotlearn.

He’susedtofollowinghisbrotheraroundand‐‐

‐‐therehegoes.

Archie:Youknowwhat?ISLAPBACK.AndIneedthatexercise.

Archiegetshisexercise.

Ofcourse,thiscanonlyendoneway.

Blondie:Oooo.Muscles.

Archie:AndI’mArchieVe?nariandIwantyourbodyifyou’renotbusythisaGernoon.

DionneDreamer:Oh,no,I’mengaged.

Dionne:ButI’malsothinkingveryhard.

Bytheway,Linus,didyouknowthatEthanisRomance?

Linus:Yeah,andIlovehim.Isthisaproblem?

Angus:I am so sorry for myself. 

Angus:I’ll win the next round. 

Goodluckwiththat.Meanwhile,where’syourotherex‐girlfriend?

Bunthorne:Dusty!

Dusty:Sotellmeallaboutthisartforgerythingyourfamilydoes.

Bunthorne:Business,dear,it’sabusiness.They’renotforgeries.They’reallgenuineDeBeeres.

Dusty,youwerenevermeantforpeOycrime.Somethinginyoureyessays...

Bunthorne:...steal me. 

Bunthorne:Car?er’s!Dusty:Tiffany’s!Bunthorne:RollsRoyces!Dusty:Oh,God!

Parsifal:Dad!NothingtodisturbthepureofheartisgoingoninthereATALL.

Dinadan:That’snice.Iwasn’tgoingtoask.Ijuststoppedbytosayhello.

KaibroughtDinadan,naturally.It’ssortofsweetthatwhenaGoodytwoshoesasks“mayIbringafriend?”theyusuallymean“MomorDad.”

ElaineinvitedalltheknightsforanOu?ngdowntown.IhavenoideawhyBabyNewYearcamealong,butitlooksasthoughhe’sabouttogetrunoverbyafes?vetaxicab.

Itlooksasthoughthey’realllineduptotalktoWriterTina,whoiscatnipforFamilySims,Isuppose.

NobodydeservesitmorethanGawaine,althoughhedoesn’tneeda?tletobeBigManOnCampus.

Kaifinallybecomesafullmemberofthefrat—

Gawaine:OramemberoftheRoundTable.OblongTable.Damn,Percyhasmedoingthattoonow.

Gawaine:Excuseme.

AndTHATwasGawainechanginghisturnonsfromsomethingstupid,likeCustomHairandCharisma?c,tosomethingmorereasonable.Notthatitwillmakemuchdifference.

Doeshehaveanyideahowawesomeheis?

Gawaine:Yes.

ShelbyHanby:Idon’tknowwhyI’mthinkingabouthim.It’snotasthoughhe’sPopularity.

DustyandBunthornealsohavethesamemajor.

Shelby:MaybeI’llwatchthemfromanotherangle.

Dusty:IunderstandtheHopeDiamondisverypoorlyguarded.

Bunthorne:MyGod,Iloveitwhenyousaythingslikethat!Comehere.

*MWHT*

DustyandBunthore:Paris...Zurich...Mmph...MonteCarlo...ooo...

Parsifal:SoIsupposethey’reinlove.IpromisedmyselfIwouldn’tlook.

Gawainecon?nueshischarmoffensive.

Gawaine:I’mpreOysurewecangetyoutolikeustoo.

AndMolly,naturally.

Molly:Wow,that’s...I’veneverseenaknightdothesplitsbefore.

FirstdayattheKnight’sHouse‐‐

‐‐firstRoofraiserparty.Welldone.

ItwasonlyamaOerof?mebeforetheSecretSocietycamecalling.

KaichosetochatupGreg,Marcus’boyfriend.

Kai:Somethinggoingonbehindme?No,what?

That’swhat.

Someday,Iwilllearnnottoopenthecowplantgate“justtoseewhatwillhappen.”

That’swhatalwayshappens.

Andeveryoneisalwaysexceedinglybummed.

Kai:Yes,IwouldliketospendtheSecretSociety’smoneyonafullresurrec?on,please.No,ofcourseshecan’tcomehomewithme.It’samalefraternity.Don’tbesilly.

ShewoundupmovingintoArchieVe?nari’sdorm.No,thankYOU.

Atthegirls’house,nothingexci?nghasbeenhappening,exceptforafewtermpapers.

ThisisprobablywhyMollyisabletogetintoGoodygirlswithaliOlegossipaboutElaine’scatSmores.

Elaine:Wow!Ididn’tknowSmoreswasdoingallthat!Wouldyouliketojointhesorority?

Molly:Why,thankyou!

Imayhavemen?onedthatwhenaGoodytwoshoesasks“mayIbringafriend?”theymean“I’mbringingMom.”

Gawaine:Iknow.BeingtheheadPopSiminahouseisarealresponsibility.

Soon,MollyhasmovedinandElaineispain?ngherportrait.

Asia:Yourhalfbrothertakesmeonthebestdates.They’reallathishouse,buts?ll.

Molly:I’mskilling.

Nausicaa:Icanhearyou.

MollyalsogetsabductedbytheSecretSociety.

AndthereshemeetsSkyler.

Skyler:Um...Hello?

Molly:Yeah,what?NotthatIlikeyouoranything.

Molly:OK,I’mbusy,but–letmegetyournumberincaseIthinkofsomemorethingstocallyou,OK?

EventhoughCeciliaisconsiderablybeOer,Maxdoesnotstopworryingabouther.ButevenMaxcannotwatchCeciliaconstantly.

Andmaybeheshould.

Cecilia:Fire!No—notfire!Notthatway,ohplease‐‐

Cecilia:Notfire!No!

Cecilia:Oh.Oh,thankyou.Thatwasclose.

Iamsosorry,sir.Thatwascarelessofme.

Sam:Noworries,m’am.That’swhatwe’reherefor,thoughyoureallyshouldgetafirealarminhere.

Sam:Excuseme?DidIsaysomethingwrong?

Cecilia:No...No,yousaidnothingwrong.Thankyou.

Cecilia:AndI’mverygratefultoyou.Iwastrapped.

Sam:Ah,it’smyjob.I’mjusthappyIcanhelp.Dobecarefulnext?me.

...areyousureyou’reallright,m’am?

Cecilia:Oh,yes.Iamverywell,thankyou.Forgiveme.Myhusbanddiedinafire.

Sam:Oh,Isee.I’msorry.

Cecilia:SoIgreatlyadmireanyonewhohasthecouragetotrytorescuepeoplefromthem.Doexcuseme.IamreallyaverygoodbakerandIdonotusuallysetthekitchenonfire.

Sam:Well..Ishouldbegoing.

Cecilia:Oh,yes,ofcourse.Thankyou,Mr....

Sam:JustSamwillbefine.Hopethenextbatchofcookiesareok.

Cecilia:Wouldyou..Oh,excuseme!

Sam:Yeah.Yeah,Iwould.

Intotallyunrelatednews...

‐‐didyouknowthatNinoCalientereallywantedtogetengaged?

Nino:Really?AllthoseDreamDateswithme?

Molly:Soeveryoneheregoesonthesedatethingsallthe?meandIwaswonderingiftherewasanythingtoit.

Molly:Soooo—fakedate?ckles!

Molly:Aw,hey,what’sthemaOerwithyou?

Skyler:I’mafakedate.IwishIwasn’tjustafakedate.

Molly:Youdon’thavetobe.

Molly:Icouldgetusedtothis.

Molly:What?Ihavetosmootchhimagain?

Oh,likeyoudon’twantto.

Molly:Ihavetodothis,too,don’tI?

You’rereallysuffering.Icantell.

Skyler:Ilikedthat.Maybe—realdatenext?me?

Molly:Yeah.Definitely.

Elaine:EverythingissomuchbeOer,Ian.I’montheDean’sList—well,IwasneverofftheDean’sList,butIwasscaredforawhile.

Elaine:And...AndI’mhappy.I’mreallyhappy.

Ian:Good.Iloveitwhenyou’rehappy.That’sallIwantedfromthebeginning.Itoldyouthewrongway,but‐‐

Elaine:No,Ishouldhaveunderstood.AndIdo.

Iknowyouloveme,Ian.Iknowitevenwhenyoudon’tsayit.That’swhyIdon’thavetoaskyouallthe?me.

Elaine:IjustwishwhenPalomidesintroducedmetohishandsomefriendwiththepreOyredhairthatI’d...

Ian:Oh,now,stopitwiththebuOer.Alwayswiththecomplimentsorfishingforthem.

Elaine:YouknowIneversayanythingI’mnotsureImeananymore.Ithinkaboutitforalong?me.

Ian:Iknow.Youhavesuchawarmheart.That’ssomethingIhopeyou’llneverchange.

Elaine:Iwon’t.Iknowbecauseyoudidn’t.Youhaveawarmhearttoo,oryouwouldn’thavestayedwithme.

Elaine:AndthisissomethingI’vethoughtaboutforalong?me,too.

Elaine:Pleasemarryme,Ian.

Ian:‐‐wow.I‐‐

Elaine:Yes,Imeanit.I’mnotafraidanymore.

Ian:Ah—whoo.Wow.Iwasnotexpec?ngthat.

Elaine:Ifyoudon’twantto,it’sok.I’mabiggirlandIwon’tfallapart.

ButIhopesomuchyou’llsayyes.

Ian:Holdonasecond.Letmeseeifitfitsfirst.

Ian:Andbesides,thisissomethingIreallywanttoremember.

Ian:Andlookatthat.Itfitsperfectly.Thewayyoudoinmyheart.

Elaine,Iadoreyou.Icouldneversaynotoyou.Youknowthat.Youneverhadtoask.Iloveeverythingaboutyou,everything,every?nydetail,eventhethingsthatdrivemecrazyaboutyouandmakemewanttoscream.AndwhatIdon’tknownow,Iwanttoknow.Andwehaveallourlivestolearn.

‐‐whew.I’mjust—reallyhappy.

Elaine:AndIdon’thavewordsanymore.Isn’tthatfunny?Andyous?llnevercallmePrincess.

Ian:Oh,yourbrothersandyourfatherareright.You’llalwaysbetheirPrincess.Buttome,you’resomeonemoreimportant.

Ian:YouareElaine.

Credits— Ian Legacina, Orikes-- Pseudo Legacy Zane Devereaux, Peasant007—Devereaux Legacy Dinadan Locks, RubyBlue—Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs Archie Vetinari, Doc Nerd—Vetinari Dualegacy Cobaltazure (Apocalypse of Ice ) Cait (Regacy) De/Fireflower314 (Morgan Legacy), RoseFyre (Buffyverse Apocalypse), Jamie/DocGirlP (Behemian Legacy), DocNerd (Vetinari Dualegacy), WriterTina (Highwinds)—their simselves Blite27—(Ten Caesars)—a whole heapin’ helpin’ of Romans

Opening picture—The End of the Quest, Sir Frank Dicksee SC Productions MMX.

Cow:Uh—’scuseme?

Molly:Sayyourprayers,Bossy.

Somewhereoutthere,hermotherisprobablyveryproud.