T. L. Hanna, an IB World School 2600 Highway 81 North, Anderson, SC 29621 864-260-5110 9/5/14 Parent Newsletter # 7 Tolly Named Athlete of the Month Griff Tolly is T.L. Hanna’s Athlete of the Month for the Electric City News. Griff is a member of the TLH Cross Country team. Coach Andrew King states, “Griff has had a great summer of work, counting up the miles to build a great base for the season. He has shown up to mandatory practice more fit than ever! He has also had a busy summer visiting multiple schools – Presbyterian College, High Point, and Wofford are just a few – and attending Boys’ State at Anderson University. He has worked hard to accomplish his individual goals of competing with the top runners in the state and running at the next level. Even more, as a senior, he is focused to help lead this team back to state and build on the 6 th place finish from last year.” Congratulations, Griff! Senior Parent Workshop Senior Parent Workshop will be held in the lecture hall on Tuesday, September 16, 2014, at 6:30 pm. Counselors will provide senior parents with information regarding college applications, SAT/ACT, how to request transcripts and obtain letters of recommendation. Representatives from Anderson University, Clemson University, and Tri-County Technical College will also provide brief presentations and answer questions as well. Duke, Georgetown, Harvard, Penn, Stanford Information Sessions Fall 2014 Southeast Student/Parent Information Sessions for Duke, Georgetown, Harvard, Penn, and Stanford will be held at the following locations: Greenville, SC Sunday, September 28, 7:30 pm Greenville Marriott One Parkway East Greenville, SC 29615 864-297-0300
Tolly Named Athlete of the Month Griff Tolly is T.L. Hanna’s Athlete of the Month for the Electric City News. Griff is a member of the TLH Cross Country team. Coach Andrew King states, “Griff has had a great summer of work, counting up the miles to build a great base for the season. He has shown up to mandatory practice more fit than ever! He has also had a busy summer visiting multiple schools – Presbyterian College, High Point, and Wofford are just a few – and attending Boys’ State at Anderson University. He has worked hard to accomplish his individual goals of competing with the top runners in the state and running at the next level. Even more, as a senior, he is focused to help lead this team back to state and build on the 6
th place finish from last year.” Congratulations, Griff!
Senior Parent Workshop Senior Parent Workshop will be held in the lecture hall on Tuesday, September 16, 2014, at 6:30 pm. Counselors will provide senior parents with information regarding college applications, SAT/ACT, how to request transcripts and obtain letters of recommendation. Representatives from Anderson University, Clemson University, and Tri-County Technical College will also provide brief presentations and answer questions as well.
Duke, Georgetown, Harvard, Penn, Stanford Information Sessions Fall 2014 Southeast Student/Parent Information Sessions for Duke, Georgetown, Harvard, Penn, and Stanford will be held at the following locations: Greenville, SC Sunday, September 28, 7:30 pm Greenville Marriott One Parkway East Greenville, SC 29615 864-297-0300
Columbia, SC Monday, September 29, 2014, 7:30 pm Embassy Suites Columbia Greystone 200 Stoneridge Drive Columbia, SC 29210 803-252-8700 Charleston, SC Tuesday, September 30, 2014, 7:30 pm Charleston Plaza Hotel 4770 Goer Drive North Charleston, SC 29406 888-747-1900 Savannah, GA Wednesday, October 1, 2014, 7:30 pm Savannah Marriott Riverfront 100 General McIntosh Boulevard Savannah, GA 31401 912-233-7722 Jacksonville, FL Thursday, October 2, 201, 7:30 pm Hyatt Regency Jacksonville Riverfront 225 East Coastline Drive Jacksonville, FL 32202 904-588-1234
Washington University in St Louis Information Session The office of undergraduate admissions invites prospective students and their parents to attend a presentation about Washington University on Sunday, September 8, 2014, from 4:00-5:00 pm at the Greenville Marriott on One Parkway East, Greenville SC. For directions, please call the location at 864-297-0300. We will acquaint you with academic programs, life on campus, and how to apply for admission and financial assistance at Washington University. No reservation is needed. For additional information, please call us at 800-638-0700 or 314-935-6000. There may be other information sessions in your area. Please visit admissions.wustl.edu for details.
Teens Love Parents’ Using Technology!
Art and Academy Do ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
TLH Art teachers Kathy Moore, Dot Ross-Vaughn, Chris Stanzione, and Johnny Nutt, along with Academy Director Mary Nell Anthony, did the ice bucket challenge to raise money for ALS.
NC State Open House NCSU will hold its annual Open House on Saturday, October 18, 2014, from 9:00 -2:00 pm. At NC State Open House, you will have the opportunity to:
Learn about our admissions process, academic programs and opportunities for personal enrichment.
Meet with faculty, staff and students. Imagine yourself as part of the Pack as you explore our campus.
Learn more at: ncsu.edu/openhouse Register online at: wolfpaw.ncsu.edu Questions? Email us at [email protected] Raleigh NC 27695 919-515-2011
Athletic Events Sept 8 – Sept 13 Monday, September 08 5:30PM Girls Varsity Cheerleading COMPETITION (Practice) Home 6:00PM ATHLETIC BOOSTER CLUB MTG. – LECTURE HALL (Other) Home Tuesday, September 09 4:00PM Girls Varsity Cheerleading COMPETITION (Practice) Home 4:30PM Girls Varsity Golf Laurens High School @ LAKESIDE CC Away 5:00PM Girls Varsity Tennis Easley High School Away 5:00PM Coed Varsity CC Woodmont High School GET TO KNOW YOU MEET Away 5:30PM Girls Junior Varsity Volleyball Easley High School Away 7:00PM Girls Varsity Volleyball Easley High School Away 4:00PM Girls Varsity Cheerleading SPIRIT (Practice) Home
4:30PM Girls Varsity Golf Pendleton @ BOSCOBEL Away Thursday, September 11 4:30PM Girls Varsity Golf Hillcrest High School @ FOX RUN Away 5:00PM Girls Varsity Tennis Westside High School Home 5:30PM Girls Junior Varsity Volleyball Westside High School Home 6:00PM Boys Junior Varsity Football Seneca High School Away 6:00PM Boys GLENVIEW MS GAME VS ROBERT ANDERSON Home 7:00PM Girls Varsity Volleyball Westside High School Home Friday, September 12 4:30PM HALL OF FAME BANQUET (Other) Home 7:30PM Boys Varsity Football Seneca Home Friday at Home 8:00AM Girls Varsity Volleyball White Knoll High School TOURNAMENT Away 8:30AM Coed Varsity CC OPEN DATE COACHES CLASSIC−COLUMBIA SC Away 8:00PM Coed Varsity Swimming Greenwood GREENWOOD YMCA Away
Summer Reading Contest Winners Congratulations to the following students who are being recognized for the amount of summer reading they did this past summer.
Ashley Hill (English 101, Clemson) 4390 total pages read Martha Grace Whiteman(Harder) 3585 total pages read Meg Simmons(Turner) 3460 total pages read Mrs. Bailey, TLH Media Specialist, will be buying each student a book of her choice for all the summer reading.
Poll Managers Needed The Anderson County Registration and Elections Office is recruiting 16 and 17-year- old students to serve as Poll Managers during the General Election on November 4, 2014. Any person 16 or 17-years-old, who has completed the required training, can be appointed as a poll manager’s assistant. These assistants must complete poll manager training. Sixteen and seventeen year olds may not serve as chair or clerk. There is a consideration: Neither a candidate nor the spouse, parent, child, brother, or sister of a candidate can serve as manager or clerk of election at any polling place where the candidate’s name appears on the ballot. Sixteen and 17-year-old students who would like to work as poll workers on 11/4/14 must sign up in guidance with Robin Cathey by September 15, 2014, at 4:00 pm.
PSAT Testing The Preliminary SAT/National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test will be given at TLH on October 15. The cost is $15 for Juniors, who must sign up in Guidance by October 10 to take the test. All freshmen and sophomores will be taking the test free. All college bound juniors are encouraged to sign up. All junior students may register in guidance September 8 - October 10. The deadline to register for the PSAT is October 10. Most high school students are familiar with the SAT and spend considerable time getting ready for the exam. However, before they ever sit for the SAT, many will take the Preliminary SAT/National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test, a standardized test cosponsored by the College Board and National Merit Scholarship Corporation. Many take this test without doing anything to prepare. Unfortunately, students often assume the exam is just a practice test that doesn't have any real value since college admissions offices do not use the score to assess applications. While it is true that the score is not a factor like the SAT and ACT in admissions decisions, a good performance on the PSAT is still crucial. There are three very important reasons a student’s PSAT score matters.
1. Scores can lead to National Merit Scholarships: The National Merit Scholarship Corporation uses these scores to qualify semifinalists who are then considered for National Merit Scholarship competition. Recognition by the National Merit program provides a monetary award and can often be leveraged to secure additional scholarships. Recipients and finalists can become eligible for corporate scholarships and many colleges and universities offer National Merit Scholarship participants institutional grants and merit scholarships as well. In some cases, these grants cover full tuition. College is expensive and competition for scholarships is fierce. By achieving a high score on the PSAT, students can take a lot of stress out of the college admissions and financial aid process.
2. Good scores can indicate performance on the SAT: The PSAT is a terrific
way to familiarize yourself with the structure, content and process of taking the SAT and get a sense of how you'll perform on the actual exam. Your score can show you which subjects you may not be particularly strong in, regardless of your grades in related classes. For example, your A's in English class may not amply reflect your knowledge of obscure vocabulary or the specific essay writing skills that are critical for success on the test. Your score on the verbal section can more accurately tell you how prepared you are and therefore allow you to concentrate on studying for what you are weakest in to improve your score for the real thing. Your performance will empower you with the information you need to design an SAT study plan that will help you earn your best possible score.
3. Doing well can provide a big confidence boost: Test anxiety and a fear of the unknown can have a negative impact on students taking the SAT for the first time. However, if you've already done well on the PSAT, you'll be at a distinct advantage. Just as rehearsing before a performance or practicing before a sports game gives you the boost of confidence you need to succeed, posting a solid score on the PSAT will do the same for your SAT-taking experience. Additionally, the PSAT is a tool many colleges and universities use to identify students they think may make a good addition to their student body and who may be deserving of scholarships. These scores are a way for colleges to be more selective in their recruitment process, and having schools express interest in you and recruit you to apply can also increase confidence.
Underestimating the significance of the PSAT is a common mistake, but is one that is easily corrected. The test is a critical step to getting ready for success on the SAT and by taking it seriously and working hard to achieve a high score, you can not only get a jump-start on your SAT prep, you can possibly secure coveted scholarship dollars.
ASVAB Testing So the PSAT is not for you? Are you considering the military for a career? Want to know where your strengths are? ASVAB is for you! Cost: FREE; Date: October 15, 2014. The ASVAB is a multiple-aptitude battery that measures developed abilities and helps predict future academic and occupational success in the military. It is administered annually to more than one million military applicants, high school, and post-secondary students. For any students planning the military as a career, we will be giving a free ASVAB test on October 15, 2014. This test is open to Juniors and Seniors not taking the PSAT. Students must sign up in Guidance by Friday, October 10
th.
Mu Alpha Theta Math Honor Society Juniors and Seniors who have an 85 average in math classes are eligible to join this organization. Teens who are interested should see Mrs. Miller in Room 706 or Mrs. Peters in Room 707 and sign up by September 26. Induction for new members will be held October 13. Dues for new members are $15. Make checks payable to TL Hanna.
Mu Alpha Theta Meeting Last year’s members of Mu Alpha Theta will meet Monday, September 15, in Room 706 at 4 pm. Members will elect officers, talk about requirements for membership, and plan the induction.
JSA Meeting Junior State of America (JSA) will meet Tuesday, September 9, during homeroom in Room 205.
Wendy’s is and always has been much more than a quick service restaurant company. Founder, Dave Thomas, believed that a company should have a higher purpose beyond selling products or services. For Wendy’s, that purpose is helping the nation’s youth pursue their passions and realize their dreams. Through the Wendy’s High School Heisman Program, Wendy’s achieves this purpose, both by honoring the achievements of exceptional students and by providing a platform for continued growth and success. This scholar athlete program elevates students by making it possible for them to take advantage of new opportunities, ensuring they are recognized for a job well done, and inspiring them to continue achieving their best. In these ways, the Wendy’s High School Heisman Program changes the lives of thousands of scholar athletes every year. And that allows Wendy’s to be more than a place to get a great hamburger. Winners of the Wendy's High School Heisman award will receive outstanding recognition as well as free gift cards to Wendy’s. Those who win at the national level will also obtain money for their high schools. The application for this program is due on Friday, October 3, 2014 at 6:00 pm. Any senior can apply as long as he or she has at least a "B" average and participates in one or more school-sponsored sports. Those who apply must also have their applications reviewed and confirmed online by a school representative no later than Monday, October 6, 2014, at 6:00pm.
For more information, visit www.wendyshighschoolheisman.com.
Student Government News o The first meeting for all Student Government members will be on 9/10 at 7:30
am in the Lecture Hall. o Student Government will be selling class and game day T-shirts at all lunches
9/4 and 9/5. o Student Government will be sponsoring SPIRIT WEEK during the week of
September 8 – 12 to celebrate our first home football game. Students are asked to dress in the following ways:
Monday- America Day Tuesday- Mathletes v. Athletes Wednesday- Country vs. Country Club Thursday- Class T-Shirt Friday- Game Day T-Shirt
Grading Timeline Interim reporting period ends (22
nd day) on September 17
Progress reports printed by guidance on September 22 Progress reports issued by teachers on September 24 1
st nine weeks ends (45
th day) on October 21
2nd
nine weeks begins (46th day) on October 22
Report cards distributed to students on October 28
Volleyball Rocks! Volleyball defeated Woodmont on Tuesday during Military Appreciation Night with JV winning 2-0 and Varsity winning 3-0. JV and Varsity also both beat Wren at home.
Their next home game is September 11 vs. Westside. JV plays at 5:30 and Varsity at 7! Today, JV and Varsity play at Hillcrest; Players will be dismissed at 3:20, bus will depart at 3:45. Saturday- JV will play in a tournament at Dorman. Bus will be at Hanna at 6:30 a.m. Come out and support the VolleyJackets and thanks to parents for providing meals and snacks, cheering our teams on, and just being awesome!
Hanna Swim Team After competing in our first three meets of the season (in five days!), Hanna swimmers will now be competing in 14 of the 22 swimming events at the State final on October 11. In their latest event at Greenwood, 10 new meet times were set, all by Hanna swimmers! In the girls 100 yard breaststroke, Ashley Swavely set the previous meet records with a time of 1:16.96. Last night her little sister Susan set a new meet mark with a time of 1:10.93. Below is the list of swimmers and the events in which automatic qualifying times have been achieved. Congratulations to all these swimmers. Please also note that there are as many swimmers as automatic swimmers who have earned consideration times. Coach Morand feels very confident that many of these consideration times will be converted to automatic times within our next two meets.
Event Girls Boys 200 yard Medley Relay A team (Sara Johnson, Hana
Rutland, Anjali Borsum, Susan Swavely)
A team (Michael Manucy, Myrick Harward, Nicholas Siudut, Noah Brennan)
200 yard freestyle Anna Heintz
200 yard Individual Medley Anna Heintz, Charlie Pickens
50 yard freestyle Michael Manucy
100 yard butterfly Susan Swavely, Auburn Dantice
100 yard freestyle Anna Heintz, Hana Rutland
200 yard freestyle relay A team (Anna Heintz, Mary Wagner, Susan Swavely, Anjali Borsum)
500 yard freestyle Charlie Pickens, Anna Heintz
100 yard backstroke Charlie Pickens, Sara Johnson, Liesel Rutland
Michael Manucy, Noah Brennan
100 yard breaststroke Susan Swavely, Auburn Dantice, Hana Rutland
Myrick Harward
400 free relay A team (Charlie Pickens, Anna Heintz, Sara Johnson, Hana Rutland)
First Pep Rally The first pep rally will be held on September 12, the date of our first home football game. That week will also be a “Spirit Week” where students will have a theme for the
day. Students really enjoy this as do many of you! Student Government is selling shirts at lunches for students and faculty including our annual Game Day shirt and class shirts for each class designation. The cost of the shirts is $15. A request for parents – we have a small contingent of students who get their parents to have them dismissed early so they do not have to attend the pep rally. Pep rallies are for students’ enjoyment. It is also part of the school day because it is held prior to 3:40 pm. Students dismissed early will be counted absent in their 4
th block classes
(medical excuses from physicians will be accepted to make the absence excused). Please help us with this issue by having your teens remain at school for the pep rally.
Test Results PASS results for 2014 (from Grade 8) will be distributed on Friday, September 5, 2014, during HR/Advisory. Students who have a first block class at another campus will receive their results in Second Block. HSAP scores for those who tested will be distributed to students on Tuesday, September 9, 2014, during HR/Advisory. These will also include a cover letter to parents to accompany the score reports. Please check your boxes and distribute accordingly. For those students who travel during block 1, their block 2 instructor will distribute and these will be labeled by Kim Harrell.
Fishing Team News Crescent Tournament: September 13 (a week from Saturday) safelight until 3:00 pm at Harpers Ferry Landing on Lake Russell. Coach Ray needs to register boats with Crescent. Please send me captain and partner’s names for this event as soon as possible. Next Meeting: Wednesday, September 10 at 6:00 pm in the Hanna Lecture Hall. B.A.S.S. Championship date and location have changed to November 1 on Lake Murray. This is the Saturday of fall break.
Open House The Anderson Five Career Campus will hold an Open House on Monday, September 8, 2014, from 6:00 pm until 7:30 pm. This is a great opportunity to meet with teachers
to see how your teens are being prepared for a college education and successful careers through quality instruction. This is for both first and second Semester AVCC students. AVCC is located at 1225 S. McDuffie Street. We look forward to seeing you there!
Lacrosse Girls' Lacrosse meeting on Friday, September 5, in Room 805 after school. Come if you want to play! Practice will begin Monday, September 8, and we will practice on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays from 4 PM to 5:30 PM. All girls interested should meet in Room 805.
Hanna Jazz Band Performs at Celebrate Anderson
The T. L. Hanna Jazz Band was invited again to perform at the Celebrate Anderson event. Rave reviews have been reported! Congrats to the Jazz Band and Richard Baskin and Shon Brown for their work with these talented students!
Hanna Jazz Band led by Director Richard Baskin.
Freshmen Chromebooks The shipment of freshmen Chromebooks is currently delayed. Dell has stated they will be here in October; it was such a popular model that they currently have 150,000 Chromebooks on back order nationwide. As soon as we have them, they will be in the hands of all freshmen. Please bear with us as we implement this new 1:1 technology. If you are on free/reduced lunch based on your middle school application, please be sure to re-apply as this does impact your Chromebook fees. See Mrs. Anthony with any questions or concerns ([email protected]).
Band Day at Besto Every Thursday is Band Day at Besto from 7:00 am to 8:00 pm. Call-ins or walk-ins are welcome! You must tell them that you are with the TLH Band for the band to get credit. BESTO will donate @20% of all proceeds from these sales to the TLH Band. This is a great way to earn money for the Band Students!
Senior Meeting Held Yesterday Jostens held its first Senior meeting yesterday. Packets were distributed that contained information for ordering senior supplies, such as caps and gowns,
graduation announcements, and other commencement items. Seniors who were unable to attend the meeting can pick up a senior packet in the front office. Jostens will be here on Tuesday, September 9, to deliver class rings. Students cannot get their rings unless it has been paid for in advance. Parents may call 1-800-JOSTENS to make a payment with a debit/credit card by September 8 or have your teen bring cash or a money order on September 9 to the school. Jostens will be sending a postcard reminder that will show the balance you owe. The senior supply order day will also be on Tuesday, September 9. Students must bring their order forms along with a deposit. Jostens will be here to collect these during lunches in the mall area September 9. Students can order just a cap, gown, and tassel for $38. They are not required to order any other items. It is better to order now because this special cost is only for a limited time, and the cost will go up. In the past this could be as high as $80 in the Spring. On the order form, students do not have to order a package. They may choose to order just individual items as “Add-ons” rather than ordering an entire package. Please monitor what your teen orders. We have had some students order $500 worth of items and then not have to money to pay for them when they arrive .
Teens for Change Those interested in seeking membership in this club are invited to a September 8 organizational meeting at 7:30 am in Room 105. See Ms. Lee for details. It is a dynamic club whose goal is to serve the community through various service-based projects, such as the AIM canned food drive and Relay for Life.
Free and Reduced Lunch Forms Free/reduced lunch applications must be completed each year. The forms were in the packet students received the first day of school. This form must be completed by September 12 to ensure that services are continued.
Girls’ Basketball Meeting Held Coach Long met yesterday with last year’s varsity and junior varsity girls’ basketball players, as well as any players from Glenview and McCants Middle Schools. If your teen missed this meeting, you may contact Coach Long at [email protected].
Creative Writing Club Meeting Creative Writing will have its first meeting on Monday, September 8, 2014. We will meet in Room 100 from 3:50-4:45.
Students Compete in STAR Event Competition On July 6th, 2014, more than 7,000 Family, Career and Community Leaders of
America (FCCLA) members, advisers, alumni, and guests from across the country gathered in San Antonio for the 2014 National Leadership Conference. This year’s conference theme, “SOAR,” was student-originated. Kayla Dudziak, Claire Counts, Ambra Scott, Hope Glymph and Tory Reynolds, students at the Anderson 5 Career Campus, were among the members who took part in STAR Event Competitions at the conference.
FCCLA offers 33 STAR (Students Taking Action with Recognition) Events. These events, which include Early Childhood Education, Job Interview, and Sports Nutrition, among others, represent college and career readiness skills taught in Family and Consumer Sciences classroom. Members compete at the District, State and National level. This year, Kayla, Claire, Ambra, Susannah and Tory were among over 4200 STAR Event participants who competed in San Antonio. This is the largest number of competitors at any National STAR Events competition.
Kayla Dudziak and Claire Counts, both seniors at TL Hanna High School, co-competed in Life Event Planning. Their project focused on the planning process of a real life event. They chose to plan a baby shower that they executed in April for their teacher, Mrs. Jodi Durkee. These shining stars received Gold Medals in the event.
Teens Manipulating Their Parents – Ever Experienced It? http://middleearthnj.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/teens-manipulating-their-parents-why-how-and-what-can-stop-it/
Manipulation is learned by children at a young age. Toddlers realize they can control their parent’s behavior by screaming loudly, and it progresses from there. Manipulation can provide children with a sense of power because it gives them the exciting reward of causing another person to perform a desired behavior. As we develop into adults, we become more aware of the needs of others and the realization that not everything can be controlled, so we learn to balance our own desires. Teens have not reached this stage of development yet, plus they are struggling with a strong desire for independence while experiencing surging hormones. Let’s just say that the needs of their parents don’t often enter their minds.
Types of Manipulation Teens Employ and Ways to Deal With It
Steamrolling. The most frequently used form of manipulation that children of every age employ on their parents is the never-ending, repeated request. “Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? How about now?” Teens reason that if they wear a parent down enough, they will eventually give in. Two can play at that game. The best response to the repeated request is a repeated answer. Decide what your bottom line is and develop a “broken record” sentence, such as “You must clean your room before you go to the party.” Do not engage in any further discussion, but simply reply with the same sentence.
Lying. Teens generally assume that if they don’t tell you the truth, they have a better chance of getting what they want. Omitting key details is the most frequent type of lie from teens. For example, your teen might truthfully tell you he is going to be hanging out at Jane’s house, but “forget” to mention that Jane’s parents won’t be home. The real problem is that teens’ lies become more sophisticated and they will work with their friends to create a fabricated story that will check out with other parents. You should insist on knowing where your child is and whom they are with to minimize lying. When you do catch them in a lie, there should be an immediate consequence with the understanding that a repeat offense will have a larger consequence.
Retaliation. Revenge… who doesn’t have that urge occasionally? So, you didn’t let your teen go to the mall, and now your teen has decided to even the score because they didn’t get their way. Many teens provoke their parents by saying something hurtful or not doing chores / activities expected of them. As calmly as possible (walk away and count to 10 first, if necessary), let your teen know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. If your teen persists, the parent must establish and follow through with a consequence.
Emotional Blackmail. Every parent wants their child to be happy… which is why parents often don’t recognize or don’t know how to fight the “I’ll be sad until I get my way” manipulation. The best way to combat emotional blackmail is for parents to always keep in mind that their ultimate goal is to prepare their teen for the adult world. If you change your perspective from “making my child happy” to “making my child responsible so that they can make themselves happy,” you will be better equipped to handle this manipulation. Ignore the emotions, stay poised, and answer simply: “I understand that you think I’m ruining your life because you can’t go to the party, but you still need to do your homework before you can go out.”
Shutting Down. The silent treatment. What sullen teen has not tried the strategy of refusing to talk? They hope either the guilt will get you to give in or you’ll forget you asked them to do something. The key is to make your teen’s refusal to respond work against her, not for her. For example, say your child likes spending time on Facebook, and you allow her online every night for one hour after she has completed her homework, but she is refusing to respond to your reminders to get started on her homework. The consequence is that she loses 10 minutes on the computer for every 10 minutes she has not started her homework.
Creating Doubt. Teens are very perceptive about what causes their parent’s anxiety, and they will use it against you. For example, perhaps a parent worries over their child “fitting in” a social circle, then your teen may employ the “I’ll be an outcast if you don’t let me ____!” Parents must become rational observers. Are those statements really true? Ask your child to justify these statements with facts.
Preventing Manipulation Dealing with manipulative behavior wears on a parent. However, there are ways to improve the situation. Giving your teen less opportunity to manipulate you will make both of you feel better and strengthen your relationship.
Be consistent. This is arguably the most important tool in a parent’s pocket and will ultimately decide your success or failure. You must develop firm rules with consequences that will be enforced immediately and every time an infraction occurs. It usually helps to sit down with your teen (they should have input, too) and develop a written document that details boundaries, expectations, and consequences. This written document leaves little room for misunderstanding, substantially reducing your teen’s opportunity for manipulation. Consequences must be followed through or the rules lose all
meaning. If you are a parent that tends to give in before the punishment is up, try setting up the restriction in a way you can’t break. Take your teen’s video game to your friend’s house and tell them to hold it until Friday – then you can’t give in!
Communicate openly. Don’t just interrogate your teen. Spend time with your child, telling them about your feelings and actively listening to their hopes and disappointments.
Be honest. Teens are very good at knowing when you’re being truthful. Create an environment of trust in your home. Recognize that idle threats are “lying” because everyone knows you aren’t going to follow through.
Withdraw from the heat. It’s easy to respond in the heat of the moment with something you’ll later regret. Instead, refuse to get engaged in a battle and simply say that you need time to think. It’s a good way to buy yourself time so that you can think of an appropriate response that will make you feel good.
Final Thoughts… Parents who can feel good about themselves at the end of the day are those that do what they know is right even when it’s hard. They will put their child’s safety first, their development for a successful future second, and their happiness last.
That’s right. We’re snooping. Except, we’re parents–so we’re being responsible. Pull ‘em out. Do you know what your kids are doing on their devices? Playing games? Texting?
Chatting? Snapping pics? Logging on to dangerous apps? It’s important to check in and see what they’re up to once in a while. How much is up to you, but I recommend every couple of days. We do this by having our kids charge their devices in a
common area of the house every night. After they go to bed is usually when I remember to check them out. A bonus to this is that even though they know we check their devices, it’s a little less intrusive than asking your child to hand it over to you.
Let’s talk apps.
These apps ask you to verify that you’re 13 or 18 or whatever-teen before they let you in. But we all know that kids can bypass this with a simple “yes.” Because users are supposed to be 13 years or older when they use the app, there are no parental controls.
You are the parental control for your child.
I am trying to pull together as many apps as I can for you, and then send you to the responsible sites that have written about them for more information. A couple of things you should note before I begin.
1. These apps can be harmless–if your child sticks to friending their real-life friends and keeping their profiles private. Since most kids don’t do that, I’m not going to assume they do.
2. Kids are moving to these apps for one reason–their parents aren’t there. It’s up to you to educate yourself by using the apps yourself or learning to monitor them.
3. I am all for responsible use. I don’t delete apps unless I feel that my child isn’t mature and responsible enough to use them appropriately. I advise teaching your child to make smart decisions instead of deleting apps, but this is definitely a personal/family decision.
Here we go!
Of course we are going to start with Facebook. Though it used to be where all the kids hung out, they’re slowly leaving because it’s where their parents hang out, as well. Facebook used to be a great place for kids to find cool memes, but with apps like 9GAG and iFunny (see more on them below), they don’t need to hang out on Facebook anymore. Here’s my post to help you review the privacy settings on your teen’s Facebook account.
Snapchat is a very popular app among tweens and teens. The concept is pretty simple: you take a photo and send it to a friend, and they can view the image for up to 10 seconds before it deletes itself. Shannan from Tween Us wrote about parental concerns with Snapchat and how Snapchat images aren’t really deleted forever, like Snapchat claims they are. Because of the high instances of tween use, Snapchat created a SnapKidz feature, which I wrote about here on iPhoneLife.com. There’s not much monitoring to do with this app, as the images delete themselves, but it’s worth having a long talk with your child about appropriate ways to use Snapchat.
Kik An instant messaging app used by many tweens and teens. It’s used often for sexting and flirting more often than harmless chatting. Click here for a more in-depth review of kik on Tween Us.
MySpace is the old facebook, remember? Well, now teens are heading back to this network, but it’s a little more dangerous now that all of their parents are gone. There is still little to know about what teens are doing on MySpace, but it’s definitely an app you should open and check.
Yik Yak is all over the news right now. It allows anonymous comments to be left for those within a 5-10 mile radius of the user. I can’t think of anything good that could come of that. Tween Us has a great post about Yik Yak, and there have been several other news articles written within the past week, as well.
The WeChat text messaging app is huge in Asia right now, where they even have soda machines that interact with it. U.S. teens are slowly catching on. WeChat is similar to WhatsApp–they’re both texting apps. These texting apps are great for kids who don’t have unlimited texts, but they pose an issue because parents who are comfortable opening their teen’s text messages may not be as comfortable navigating around an unfamiliar app.
We Heart It is an app that’s similar to Pinterest. I wrote all about it here. Though it’s not one of the most dangerous, it is still an app that you should monitor.
Reddit is a place for images and stories to be posted on the internet. One quick Google search for “Reddit teens” tells me why teens shouldn’t be anywhere near Reddit: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/bullying_b_2188819.html
Sept 6 (Sa) Cross Country Eye Opener, Spartanburg, SC, Milliken Park
JV Volleyball @ Dorman @ 8:00 am Tourney
Band Minicamp
Interact Club Meeting During Homeroom in Room 217
Sept 8 (M) Anderson Five Career Campus Open House
@ 6:00 – 7:30 @ AVCC Campus
Spirit Week For first home football game; Monday- America Day; Tuesday – Mathletes vs. Athletes Day; Wednesday – Country vs. Country Club Day; Thursday – Class T-Shirt Day; Friday – Game Day Shirt
Teens for Change Organizational Meeting
@ 7:30 am in Room 105
Creative Writing Club Meeting
@ 3:50 – 4:45 in Room 100
Athletic Booster Club Meeting
@ 6:00 pm
Sept 8 – Oct 10
Registration Window for PSAT
For Juniors only. Cost is $15. Sign up in Guidance. Deadline Oct 10
Sept 9 (Tu) Senior Order Day with Jostens for Graduation Supplies and Senior Ring Delivery
@ 11:45 am – 2:00 pm
Girls’ Tennis @ Easley @ 5:00 pm
Cross Country @ Woodmont – “Get to Know You” Meet @ 5:00 pm
JV Volleyball @ Easley @ 5:30 pm
Varsity Volleyball @ Easley @ 7:00 pm
JSA Meeting During homeroom in Room 205
Girls’ Golf TLH vs. Laurens at Lakeside CC @ 4:30
Sept 10 (W) Fishing Team Meeting @ 6:00 pm in Lecture Hall
Student Government Meeting
First meeting for all student government members @ 7:30 am in Lecture Hall
