Talk 8 - HEARTppt

8/3/2019 Talk 8 - HEARTppt

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H.E.A.R.T.

Healing the

Effects of

Abortion

Related

Trauma



Steps to the Healing Process

Excerpts from Heartbeats program for clients

called HEART.

The steps of the program can be followed with

a trained post-abortion pay counselor in one

of the following formats: one-on-one; small

group (3 -6 participants plus two leaders);

weekend format.



It may be done with men or women. (It is not

advisable to mix men and women in a group,but one consultant might work with a couple.)



A pregnancy center that wants to start a post-

abortion program should have a professionalcounselor as an advisor and resources for

particularly difficult cases. A center should

also have a pastor or a priest as a spiritual

resource for working one-on-one with clientswho want this help.



The program uses tools such as telling

your story; writing in a journal; writingletters (not sent) and reading Scripture.



Purpose:

To help and assist men and women who were

part of an abortion experience to come to an

understanding and healing of the effects of

post-abortion syndrome through prayer, the

Word of God, and self-examination in a

compassionate and loving atmosphere of

support and fellowship.



STEP ONE:

Tell Your Story and Be HonestAbout What Happened

This was the death of a real person

You are not alone in your suffering

You cannot change past decisions



Common Defense Mechanisms:

These are methods used to deal

with any trauma; in this case, theabortion experience and its

aftermath. Many times they

overlap.



1. REPRESSION to have no consciousness of

a painful or unacceptable occurrence in onespast.

I dont remember the abortion at all.



2. SUPPRESSION to deliberately exclude

from consciousness an emotion, occurrence,or idea.

I choose not to think about this.



3. RATIONALIZATION to explain ones

behavior by self-satisfying reasons, but not bythe actual or unconscious reasons.

This is the best thing I could dobecause...

It is a justification for your behavior.



4. TOTAL DENIAL to refuse to believe, to

disavow, or to contradict.

I never had any negative consequences tomy abortion.

Inability to face what has been done.

Escape from a painful memory.



5. MINIMIZING to deny the importance of

what occurred.I was told it was pregnancy tissue,

everything will be OK.

Minimizing is sometimes encouraged because

other people dont want to talk about what

really happened either.



6. COMPENSATORY PREGNANCY/ATONEMENT

BABY try to become pregnant or impregnateanother person to make up for the wrong. It is

a deep desire to have another baby to replace,

make up for, or fill empty arms.



7. BARGAINING

Very pro-life To make up for what you have

done by preventing others from making the

same mistake.

Very pro-abortion to attempt to justify ormake right the decision by supporting or

helping others make a similar decision



8. BLAMING to place all responsibility on

someone else.

I'm not responsible, they made me do it.

It was her decision.



9. ANGER to cover up true feelings (hurt,betrayal, sadness).



10. AVOIDANCE to stay away from pregnant

women, babies, medical personnel, or physicalexams so they wont trigger memories.



These defense mechanisms helped you to

survive, but now its time to face the pastand begin the healing process.



Recognize the abortion experience for what

it really was.

Release the pastthe anger, un-forgiveness,

guilt, and shame.

Believe and accept the healing work of Jesus

His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, andfreedom from guilt and shame.



From a Christian perspective, Satan is the

father of all lies. These defense mechanisms

guarded you from the truth.

You will know the truth, and the truth will set

you free (John 8:32).

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free

indeed (John 8:36).

Your freedom is found by embracing the Truth.



STEP TWO:

Ask Forgiveness forS

elf and ForgiveThose Involved in the Abortion

Self

God will always forgive you when yousincerely ask Him to. Jesus paid for our sins

through His death on the Cross.



To be forgiven, we need to:

Admit our wrong. Admit our guilt. Admit oursorrow for our sin.

Desire to change. Turn away from the sincompletely.

Ask for Gods forgiveness and accept it.

For all Christians we can say that peace with

God comes as a result of confessing sins andaccepting His love, grace, and mercy. Thepeace of God, our inner contentment, is aresult of making peace with God.



For Catholics This Process Is Paralleled in The

Sacrament of Reconciliation: ± Contrition

± Confession

± Satisfaction

For Catholic Christians, peace comes, through

repentance, confession, contrition, absolution,

and penance, in the Sacrament of

Reconciliation. This sacrament is an outwardsign of the grace bestowed by God and the

reestablishment of our relationship with Him.



God established three scriptural

principles related to forgiveness.

Come before God, admitting your sins andconfess them to Him. Sometimes it is easier toblame someone else for the choices we make.

Sometimes we rationalize our sin rather than dealwith it. Read the Scripture below and meditateon the truth. God will forgive you.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just toforgive us our sins and purify us from allunrighteousness (1 John 1:9).



Confess your sins to one another. God intends

for us to confess sin to those we can trust

since keeping sin a secret only gives it more

power. This openness demands a dying to

self, but it can lead to forgiveness and healing

as you find acceptance in Christ and others.As you are able to receive Gods forgiveness

you will also begin to find the grace to forgive

others.

Confess your sins to one another and pray for

one another for the healing of your souls

(James 5:7).



Forgive others.

When we read the parable in Matthew,

Chapter 18 [about the servant who would not

forgive a minor debt after his master forgavehim a major debt], it becomes clear how

important this is.

We only hurt ourselves when we choose not

to release others that have wounded us.



Forgiving others takes determination,

an act of your will, and time.



The following steps will be helpful in

the process.

Ask God to soften your heart to allow

compassion and understanding to begin.

Recognize the awesome debt for which you

were forgiven.

Surrender your right to even the score.

Remember vengeance belongs to God

(Romans 12:19).



Revise the picture you have of the offender/s.

Ask God to show them the same mercy He hasshown you.

Resist the temptation to blame them; and takecaptive every thought that comes to accuse

them (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Pray for those who have hurt and

disappointed you.



As the one doing the forgiving, you can truly

find healing. If you choose not to forgive,resentment will set in and become a part of

you. So, as an act of your will, begin with

forgiving thoughts and forgiving words even if

you dont yet completely feel them. Allow

God to do His work in you.



Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other, just as in Christ Godforgave you (Ephesians 4:32).

For if you forgive men when they sin againstyou, your heavenly Father will also forgive

you. But if you do not forgive men their sins,

your Father will not forgive your sins

(Matthew 6:14-15).



One reason so many people have notexperienced the joy found in Gods forgivenessis that they have not forgiven others in their

hearts. If you hold a grudge, then you alsohold your own condemnation. Anunwillingness to allow others to be free of their past only keeps you tied to yours. In the

act of forgiveness, you set a prisoner free and then find that one of the freed prisonerswas you!



God will help you through the process and

bring you into freedom and victory.

Note: In this step, participants write a letter to

God and one back from God; also letters to

themselves and to others involved in the

abortion decision.



STEP THREE: Working Out Remaining

Emotions

Our human, finite image of God is usuallyinfluenced by the relationship we had with ourparents. Consequently, our concept of God is

frequently distorted by false beliefs andunresolved emotions.

The heart of God is for you and not against you.

Open your heart to Him and tell Him all yourdeepest feelings and hurts. Hes waiting just foryou.



Working through these emotions is

deep they have long been buried.

Sorrow Opening up this emotion leads to:

Grief This is a process of realizing much of theguilt felt was sometimes confused with grief.Everyone must progress through the steps of grieving and they will likely overlap. Each one willdo it differently but as they release these deep

hurts and choose to accept and fill those placeswith Gods grace and mercy, they experience:



Restoration of Respect for Self This is

accomplished by overcoming shame andaccepting the reality that I have truly been

forgiven and washed clean.



STEP FOUR: Naming and

Memorializing the Baby

The fact that you were going to have a baby

makes you a parent, a mom or a dad. That

idea may be unsettling to you because of thedecision you made. The Lord wants you to

understand that He knows your precious child

intimately and desires for you to rest in the

knowledge that he/she is safe.



For you created my inmost being; youknit me together in my mothers

womb. I praise you because I amfearfully and wonderfully made; yourworks are wonderful. I know that fullwell. My frame was not hidden from

you when I was made in the secretplace. When I was woven together inthe depths of the earth, your eyes sawmy unformed body. All the daysordained for me were written in yourbook before one of them came to be(Psalms 139:13-16).



Spend some quiet time alone with the Lord,praying for His perspective, trusting His ways, andallowing Him to give you His comfort, hope, andpeace.

You may want to share your thoughts and feelingsduring this time with God, your support person,or by writing them in your journal to share with

others in the group. At the end of your prayertime, dedicate your child to the Lords care. It isimportant that you release your child to God.



In your time of prayer God may show you

something special about your baby, even your

babys name. Because an important part of

the grieving process has been missing for you

(there are no pictures, no memories of happy

days with the child, no remembrance of a

childs soft smile in your heart), receive whatGod shows you as a gift, a blessing from the

Lord.



Memorialize Your Baby: Write a letter to Godexpressing your feelings now about your child.

It may help to use one or all of the followingstatements as a starting point. Dear Lord

One thing I have always wanted to say to my baby

is One thing I have wanted to do with my baby is

One thing I have always been afraid of is...

It hurts the most when I think of...

One thing I will always regret is I have wanted to name my baby...

When I see my child in heaven I want to...



NOTE: Participants are asked to do something

to memorialize their baby such as write a

poem or story about they baby, plant a tree in

his or her memory, write a song, etc.

Participants then share this with the group (if

they are in the group format.)



Finally,the following words were

written by Pope John PaulII in his 1995 encyclical,The Gospel of Life:



Iwould now like to say a special word towomen who have had an abortion. The

Church is aware of the many factors

which may have influenced your decision,and she does not doubt that in many

cases it was a painful and even

shattering decision. The wound in your

heart may not yet have healed



Certainly what happened was and

remains terribly wrong. But do not give into discouragement and do not lose hope.

Try rather to understand what happened

and face it honestly. I f you have not already done so, give yourselves over

with humility and trust to repentance.



The Father of mercies is ready to give you

his forgiveness and his peace in theSacrament of Reconciliation. You will

come to understand that nothing is

definitively lost and you will also be able

to ask forgiveness from your child, who isnow living in the Lord. With the friendly

and expert help and advice of other

people, and as a result of your own

painful experience, you can be among themost eloquent defenders of everyone's

right to life.



Through your commitment to life,

whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to beclose to them, you will become

promoters of a new way of looking at human life.

(Pope John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae, The

Gospel of Life)



These statements provide a clear call for

all who are concerned about the sanctity

of life to take immediate and effectiveaction to come to the help of women in

need.



Date post:	06-Apr-2018
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