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Ten Steps to Building
Emotional
Core Strength
Written & Presented By
Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW
Therapist for Sensitive and
Gifted©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Sharon M. BarnesTherapist For Sensitive and
GiftedMSSW – Masters of Science in Social Work, SDSU
LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Colorado
USALocal Counseling/Psychotherapy
Online Distance Consultation
Presentations, PlayShops & Retreats
Professional DevelopmentJungian-oriented depth work to: Release your Creativity
Heal your Past
Transform your Pain
Become Fully Alive
Find & Fulfill your True Purpose
Thank You to
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
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Resources>
CASIGY Tool Box
Have You Had This
at Home or School?
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
1. Emotional meltdowns
2. Verbal Outbursts
3. Hitting, kicking, punching
4. Going silent
5. Decline in performance
6. ???
7. ???
Common Gifted Children’s
Behavior Problems
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
1. Super-sensitivity
2. Anxiety
3. Depression
4. Feeling out of sync/
like an alien
5. Anger/Resentment
6. ???
7. ???
Common GT Kids’ Emotional
Problems
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Why these problems?
Creative, Curious, Complex
Acutely Aware
Super- Sensitive
Intense, often Introverted and/or
Gifted
You? someone you know?
= CASIGY™
A Great Tragedy
o Under –Achievement
o Alienation
o Dumbing down
o Copping out
o Dropping out
o Wasted intelligence
o Wasted talent
o Wasted lives
o School Shootings ← GT Students
o Suicides of Gifted & Talented
People©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Social and emotional needs are
crucial to the well-being of gifted
students and adults.
Social and emotional needs o Low Self-esteem or confidence
o Anxiety
o Depression
Ten Steps to Building Emotional
Core Strength
(How to Become
Social-Emotional ACES)Targeting
Asynchrony
soCial Skills
Emotional Resilience
Self-Esteem
RESULT: Restore ability to
Create & Innovate
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
GT Kids (of all ages)
CAN be ACES at . . .
Asynchrony
soCial Skills
Emotional
Resilience
Self-esteem
What’s an
ACE?
Exhibit A:
o Elite baseball pitcher
o Team’s best starter
o First in the rotation
o Plays the BIG
games©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
What’s a Social-Emotional ACE?
Social –Emotional ACES = “5
G’s”
1. Gain perspective (big picture)
2. Gain understanding and
acceptance of self & others
3. Gain skills to balance and express
emotions
4. Gain skills to meet own social-
emotional needs effectively
5. Gain skills to establish and maintain
social relationships
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Something’s
wrong with me
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
I’m an Alien
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
CASIGYs
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
More perceptive
CNS
More reactive CNS
CASIGYs’
Mascot
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
*Different*o ridiculed
o excluded
o shunned
o shamed
o ostracized
o banished into
exile
because of . . .
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
LATER …
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
he returned from exile
Also
because of . .
.
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Wh
at’
s
YO
UR
S?
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
• 2• 3
• 1• 4
ReturnRed Nose: MisFit
OutcastExile
CASIGY Cycle of Discouragement
The
Hero &
Heroine’
s
Journey
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
• 2• 3
• 1• 4
Creative Contri-bution
Creative Coping
Creative Healing
Creative Transfor-
mation
CASIGY Cycle of Encouragement
The
Hero’s &
Heroine’
s
Journey
Foundation Stone 2: Who am I & Where am I in this picture? ©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Preparation for
the Journey
©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Multi-Purpose
Tool:
Emotions are like Ocean Waveso natural phenomenon
o energy
o don’t ask permission
o respond to the weather, moon & earth’s movement
o Our 1st reaction is to
o When we fight them,
o Learn to READ them
o Learn to RIDE them
F IGHT THEM
WE LOSE We can stay SAFE
We can have FUN
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
GREEN Flag = Small waves = ALL
CLEAR
ORANGE Flag = Medium waves = CAUTION
RED Flag = Big waves = DANGER
BLACK Flag = Tsunami = GET OFF THE
BEACH
PURPLE Flag = Something’s in the water
= BEWARE
What Color Flag is flying on Your Inner
Beach?
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
CASIGY™ Tool #1 First
Best
Last
Use anywhere
Use anytime
BREATHE
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.c
om/
Resources/CASIGY Tool Box/
Relaxation Breathing Exercises
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
“I’ve decided to outsource my emotional
needs”
5. What do I need? How can I meet this need?
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
We ID Our Needs By Climbing
Both Pyramids
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
How do I interpret this event or situation?
o What’s my first take on what it means?
o Things are not always as they seem –
does it REALLY mean this?
o What else might it mean?
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
CASIGYs Often Believe:
“I’m Different; therefore
something’s wrong
with me;
I’m Defective,
Inferior, and
Inadequate”
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
CASIGYs ─You’re NOT
Defective;
You’re Different …by Design!
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Dabrowski’s Theory of
Positive Disintegration
o Emotions influence personality development
o Intelligence is not a sufficient condition for human development
o Experience of negative emotions is essential for advanced psychological development.
o Therefore the goal of therapy is not to eliminate negative emotions
o When individuals are on the path of development, negative emotions are essential companions
o Negative emotions may break apart lower levels of development and thus prepare us for higher levels of development
o Therefore having negative emotions may be a harbinger of further development
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Jung’s Depth Psychology: Most people can stay undeveloped psychically
with no particularly negative consequences for
themselves
They are unconscious and are perfectly happy
being unconscious.
They give lots of other people trouble and pain,
but they are not pained because of their
unconsciousness.
Many (especially CASIGYs) DO have a great
NEED to develop to a deeper, higher, broader
level.
They develop symptoms (neuroses) that haunt
them unless and until they become more and
more conscious and more developed
psychologically.
Like those who MUST explore new physical
territory (California or BUST), they MUST
individuate.
Tragically, they most often misinterpret the
meaning of their symptoms, AKA neuroses.
They need to understand that their symptoms
are signs of an INVITATION WITH AN
IMPERATIVE TO GROW & DEVELOP FURTHER.
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
CASIGYs ─You’re NOT
Defective;
You’re Different …by Design!
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
When our Waves are Out of
Proportion
o More perceptive CNS
o More reactive CNS
o HALT
o Misunderstanding
o Misinterpretation
o Pull from the past (depression)
o Push to the future (anxiety)
o Complexes distort reality
7. Does the SIZE of this wave MATCH
the significance of the situation?
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
We all need
fences
8. What are my limits?
How can I honor them?
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Accept the Waves
o Stop resisting & fighting the
waves
o Watch the waves
o Ride the waves©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
9. What can I DO about this
OR how can I accept this?
10. Personal
Positive
Predictability
Whatever comes your way in life, you can
predict that you can in time, find a positive,
creative, constructive way to cope with it.
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
GT Kids (of all ages)
CAN be ACES at . . .
Asynchrony
soCial Skills
Emotional
Resilience
Self-esteem
We’ve only just begun ………. What do you do when emotions are persistent –
when the waves pound and pound and pound on
your beach?
What do you do when a tsunami hits your beach?
What do you do when the old habits come back and
back – when you continue to fight the waves?
What do you do when the waves don’t match and
how do you really sort that out and discover what do
do about it
What do you do when your kids are little and how to
you help them to learn this?
What do you do when your kids refuse to use this?
And they are acting out instead?
What do you do when you find yourself fighting or
resisting all of this even though you know it would
help you if you used it? ©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
CASIGY ACES Online
Social-Emotional
Empowerment Program
Preview Webinar
Coming Soon
http://therapistforsensitiveandgifted.
com/casigy-social-emotional-aces/
Sources Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Person.
Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Child
Campbell, Joseph. Hero with a Thousand Faces
Jung, C.G., MD. Two Essays on Analytical Psychology.
Sal Mendaglio, PhD. Dabrowski's Theory of Positive
Disintegration
James T. Webb, PhD. Searching for Meaning. Idealism, Bright
Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope
James T. Webb, PhD and Edward R. Amend, PhD.
Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and
Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, Depression
Whitmont, Edward C. The Symbolic Quest
©2017 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com