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Contents:
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Game Review
Goat Simulator Mini Review
Magic 2014 Tips #5
Frozen Movie Review
Community Pic of the Month
Announced PC Game Releases
(May - June)
News:
New Photo Albums - The new photo
albums on the webpage allow players
in the community to not only find
pictures much faster and hopefully
spur more people to share their
gaming adventures with us.
Facebook Comment box - A new
Comment box can be found on the
Community homepage under the tab
"More" allowing you to share your
thoughts with both the gamers on the
page as well as the ones that follow us
on Facebook.
Tazer Sponsors - A new face turned
up one day at the office looking lost
and hungry, so we adopted the
youngster and set him to work.
CorkyHD is a new Youtuber and we
liked his videos. So help us to
welcome Corky to the Tazer family by
having a gander at his channel and
hopefully like his page. Let us know if
he gets out of line, we have a ruler on
standby.... (To measure his errors of
course).
.... Because reasons - As a little note
on the side. One of the Gazette's
writers will be indisposed of for a
couple months to come, as such the
series Magic 2014 Tips might be left
out or under new management for
the coming month. But we will work
to fill in the spot and with any luck we
(we say "we" but what we really mean
is "he") will be able to perform as
normal, be that good or bad.
South Park: The Stick of Truth
By Nathan Scullard
Hello fellow gamers, and welcome to another
Tazer PC Gaming Review. This month I will be
covering South Park: The Stick of Truth, and
the first thing I need to say, is that I have not
yet finished this game, and that is due to the
fact that my Gaming PC has been out of action
now for about 4 weeks, and so far is not
looking like returning anytime soon, which for
many different reasons is infuriating! I am
missing out on so much Titanfall right now
you would not believe how much I miss that
game, but to be totally honest there is a game
I am missing MORE the Titanfall, and that of
course is...Plants Vs. Zombies! Nah, only
kidding! It’s South Park: The Stick of Truth.
I have always been a fan of South Park and
even though I haven’t watched much of it in
recent years, it has always been something
that I enjoyed watching. So when I heard
about the game being released, it
immediately tweaked my interest, and I’m
sure some of you may have noticed that it
was one of our “Tazer Top Picks” Trailers for
months.
Now the game has been out a little while and
many many people have had a chance to
review it and express their opinions on it I
would just like to take a second to say...”I
bloody told you so!” LOL. I knew the game
was going to be good from the off, and not
just because I liked South Park. A lot of people
were pre-judging the game based on its
previous instalments. I’m of course talking
about the likes of South Park (1998), South
Park: Chef’s Luv Shack (1999) and South Park
Rally (2000), we will ignore the more recent
arcade attempts at a game that were both
abysmal, but them aside, all three of the other
games had the same huge flaw... they were
terrible!
The original game tried to create the beloved
characters in a 3D interpretation of the show,
which mainly consisted of throwing snowballs
at evil rampaging turkeys, a pretty shallow
storyline to be fair and a terribly cheap tie-in
game that was meant to make money rather
than entertain its owners. Chef’s Luv Shack, in
my opinion was a brilliant game, or at least it
could have been had it not been for the really
irritating Americanised game show style mini
games that made up the bulk of the game. But
at the same time it was the first time they had
been true to the show, not afraid to not tone
it down for a the audience. And then they
released South Park Rally, in which they
totally threw out everything I just said and
decided to go back to the child-friendly 3D
model <SIGH>.
So I will admit that their gaming history has
not been great, but when I started hearing
things about the Stick of Truth (SOT), it still
tweaked my interest. And the more I found
out about it the more excited I began to
become, so when I finally bought it, it was
make or break time. It was either going to be
amazing or a total flop, and I am happy to
announce that it was f**king awesome!
The game follows a wonderful style of play in
which it feels like an immersive interactive
South Park episode, and is almost broken
down into the style with sleep dictating the
start and end of certain chapters of the story.
The story itself is, to start, all about two
factions fighting “Dungeons and Dragons
Style” over ‘The Stick of Truth’. But with so
many side plots and missions the story soon
digresses into a hilarious culmination of crazy
stuff. Including; Aliens and Anal Probing, Nazi
Zombies and Underpants Stealing Gnomes
(Hilarious Scene! Those of you who have
played the game will know what I mean...).
There is a lot more besides that but those are
the three main ones I have come across so far,
as I have already mentioned I have not yet
been able to complete it.
The game itself only suffers from one or two
minor problems as far as I can see. The first is
the occasional glitches in the videos. Several
times my character has disappeared in the
video clips, either that or he just flickers,
which is a real shame because it does tend to
distracted you from the otherwise funny and
interesting plot. I have heard of worse glitches
than this in the game though. NerdCubed for
example, could not play his game to begin
with as one of the scenes in the early tutorials
just froze and refused to go any further.
Apart from the occasional glitch in the game
the only other issue I have is with the ‘Turn-
Based’ (TB) combat system they decided on
for the game. I really hate TB systems anyway,
I think they are slow and dull, and if you get
stuck on one you can’t get past then it can be
really frustrating too. However, having said
that, the story begins with them in a
‘Dungeons and Dragons’ style game so TB
gameplay actually fits quite well with the
genre. And it was certainly more interesting
than Final Fantasy’s latest
instalment...seriously what the hell have they
done to that game?!
I really am looking forward to finishing this
game when I get my main PC back up and
running and definitely will be going around
getting all the collectibles that are littered
throughout the map, which to be honest isn’t
huge but still benefits from a good fast travel
system, which would otherwise have caused
me to have some real issues with the game
due to a lot of the back and forth missions
that mean you have to visit several of the map
locations on multiple occasions, a trait that
would have become very annoying very
quickly if it wasn’t for the fast travel system.
A lot of people slate South Park for its bad
animation and outdated jokes. But I
personally think that South Park is best when
taken at face value. It’s a silly, rude and
shallow show on purpose, as is the animation
style, and I am pleased to say that the game
takes all of that across with it and nothing is
lost in translation.
So what are you waiting for, give it the benefit
of the doubt and let yourself be pleasantly
surprised by this amazing game.
Thank for taking the time to read my review.
If you liked this then don’t forget to check out
my new Minecraft Series on our YouTube
channel where YOU, yes YOU...can help me
choose what to build.
See you next month gamers! Byeeeeeee!
Goat Simulator (Mini Review)
Reece Corkhill (CorkyHD)
What is Goat Simulator?
Goat simulator is basically what it says in the
title, a goat simulator. It is a very good but
also very strange game to play. It consists of a
wide selection of playable goats and just to
top it all off, you can also play as an Ostrich
and a Giraffe. Weird right?
Then you just do what you want. You can
head-butt and lick things till your heart’s
content. And I’m not joking. The aim isn’t to
complete the game, it is to have fun whilst
playing the little side challenge, which are so
fun as they are really crazy stuff.
I have already played hours and hours of goat
simulator, probably way too much and still
haven’t completed all of the side challenges
yet as I have been having far too much fun
without needing to do them much. They are
optional after all so you don’t HAVE to do
them, only if you choose to.
So I would suggest if you get this game, have
fun and at least try some of the challenges,
like I said they are NUTS!
And as the game goes on, the aims get better
and better as you have to be as destructive as
you can in any way you like, and DO mean
ANY!
Since this is my first review, I don’t really
know what to write but I would love to play
through some of the goat simulator future
patches, as there are rumours of some sort of
multiplayer. So keep an eye out for them on
my channel and of course on the Tazer
Channel too.
If I could give this game a rating out of 10, I
would give it a 6 because although the game
is really fun, the game has no actual aim to it
which I personally believe it does need in
order to give the game some sort of direction.
As far as the visuals go, the graphics aren’t
amazing but the gameplay really compensates
for that and it seems to me that that is really
what this game is all about...the fun...and
licking things.
So I rate this game 6/10!
Thank you for taking the time read my first
review, and if you like this kind of stuff don’t
forget to Like, Follow and Subscribe to mine
and all the Tazer stuff for more great content.
Hello summoners and welcome back to this
month’s Magic tips. This month's tips might
be a bit shorter considering the nature of the
deck. And I'm going away a bit from the
normal decks you get in the game and I
wanted to talk to you about the Masks of the
Dimir. This was originally an extra deck that
came out on launch. The deck is strong if used
right but it lacks a lot of strong creatures in
my opinion. I think the strongest one in it is a
7/7 golem creature but I'm not going to talk
about that. I built this deck in order to mess
with my human opponents and not to be the
best deck against the A.I. So let me get started
then and I hope you like this deck, just a short
heads up, all these cards are those I have in
the deck myself. So they are not the strongest
cards but it’s the build I'm using, and so far,
against human opponents, it’s fun. Not the
strongest, but fun it is.
First off I wanted the
Dimir Guildmage in the
deck, not only because
it’s the name of the
deck but also for its
ability. It’s a weak 2/2,
but looking at the
ability it's worth it.
Paying four mana will
activate its ability, using a black card will allow
you to force one enemy to discard a card, but
playing with a blue mana will make you draw
a card. Or for that matter, ANYONE you like to
draw a card.
It’s a good ability that
ties in with the other
cards I use in the deck.
Last Grasp is just a basic
instant card that I use to
debuff those stronger
creatures that I can't
deal with right off the
bat. Giving a strong
creature a nice -3/-3 is always a good idea if
it's going to be in your face a lot. Not the most
amazing card but it has its uses, especially so
in this deck with very few high strength
creatures in it.
Next card in the deck is
Treasure Hunter. It’s a
card draw that can
potentially draw you a
lot or just nothing at all.
It works by revealing
cards from your library
till you run across a
basic land card. All cards
revealed in this way are then moved to your
hand. So it could give you a lot, usually it
averages two to four cards in my deck, but
there are times when it gives me only one or
zero. Still it goes with the deck theme.
The card Mind Rot is a
doom for many players
as it will force them to
throw away two cards
every time I use the
spell. And I think there
are four cards in the
deck as I have it. And it’s
hilarious every time I
have my opponents throw away their winning
cards.
Mark of the Vampire is
one of the few Aura
cards in the deck, it
bestows a nice +2/+2
and lifelink to the
creature it’s attached
to. With no other way
of getting life back in a
pinch I felt that I wanted it in the deck just to
have an opportunity to use it. And again with
the lack of many high strength creatures
having something that can give them power is
something I like to have.
Dire Undercurrents ties
in to the main theme
about the deck, drawing
cards or making the
enemy throw them
away. It's an
Enchantment that
allows me to draw a
card for every blue
creature that enter the game under my
control I can make the target player draw a
card, and for every black creature I can have
them discard a card. Very funny and very
useful.
Fools Demise is another
Aura card that adds to
the creature’s
survivability. Should
enchanted creature die
it will be returned to
the battlefield under
your control. The Aura
itself will be returned to
your hand, creating the possibility to use it
over and over again. And with few big
creatures it's important to keep the ones you
have alive.
Another Aura card
although not as
powerful is Illusionary
armour, it gives a
creature +4/+4 for a big
powerhouse but since
it's an illusion it will give
it the special rule that
we talked about last
month. If it becomes the target by a spell or
an ability it will be destroyed. So it usually
doesn’t last too long unfortunately. Still I need
the power in the deck.
Shadow Slice, I like these
cards, it causes 3 damage to
my opponent and I can put it
on a creature card thanks to
its Cipher rule. Meaning that
every time the creature
attacks I can cast the spell
for free every time as long as
the creature is alive. And
while I'm on the subject
Mental Vapors has the same
Cipher rule but in this one it
will make my opponent discard yet another
card. They are two cards in basically the same
league and with that Cipher rule you can cast
them over and over again free of charge.
Now we get to talk
creatures again,
Necropolis Regent is
one of the few good
creatures in the deck.
Not only is it kind of
powerful in its own
right it also has a special
ability. Every time a
creature does damage to an enemy, it will get
that many counters on it. So if it does two
damage to a player it will get two +1/+1
counters, making them stronger every time
they get to do damage. It’s a good card but
will in many ways be the target of a lot of
spells as your opponent won't let you keep it
alive for very long.
Mindleech Mass is one
other creature that will
become the target of
many enemy spells. Not
only can it do damage
but if it does it will allow
you to cast a non land
card from their hand for
no cost. Allowing you
access to their spells and abilities, which is
kind of nifty if you ask me.
The last card of this
month's deck is Avatar
of Will. It's just a 5/6
with flying for the cost of
six colourless mana and
two blue. However, by
now you should have
been able to whittle
down some of your
opponents cards, and if you have they might
not have any cards at all. If so this card will get
more affordable with a whole six in mana
cost, taking it down to just two blue mana for
a 5/6 creature with flying, not so bad.
Just remember to keep your creatures alive,
there are more in the deck but they are far
from the most powerful, and they might need
a bit of back up in order to survive for long.
That’s all for this month's deck, and as always
I hope to see you out there.
Happy Gaming people.
Frozen (Movie Review)
By Nathan Scullard
My daughter pestered me for months to
watch this film, and finally a couple of weeks
ago when the dvd came out, I gave in and
bought it for them and was subsequently
forced to watch it over and over and over,
until all I wanted to do was rip my eyeballs
out and eat them. A feeling I beleive I share
with many parents on Facebook regarding this
movie.
Its not that it’s a bad movie, it’s just how
much your kids go on and on about it. I’ve
never known another movie that spurred such
an irritating reaction from children.
The story is about two sisters, Elsa and Anna
(or Arna as they pronounce it in the movie)
who as young children were very close. Elsa
has a special gift where she can create and
manipulate snow and ice with a touch of her
hand. But one day while the girls are playing
together Elsa accidently harms Anna with her
power and her parents have to rush Anna to a
special shamen who can heal her, but the
shamen explains that for Anna’s sake she
must have her memory erased of all
knowledge of Elsa’s ability so that the same
thing does not happen again.
This also forces Elsa to grow up and live a life
of solitude, always shying away from human
contact and interaction. A trait which
confuses and upsets Anna, who cannot
understand why Elsa acts this way.
But one fateful night their parents are lost at
sea, and the two sisters have to once again
reconnect for the sake of the kingdom left to
them by their late parents. But as expected,
not all goes to plan, and when Anna meets an
interesting and attractive man she
immediately falls head over heels in love and
announces to Elsa that she is going to marry
him after only knowing him for a single day.
Understandbly, Elsa loses her cool, but this
causes her to lose control of her ability, and
she accidently brings on an endless winter and
flees the kingdom.
The film does have a really great interesting
story, and as with all disney movies the
characters are memorable and engaging. In
fact no matter how much I really want to slate
this movie for being so goddamn irratating, it
is on the whole a very good film.
And I have to say I absolutely loved Olaf, the
little snowman character and even after
watching this film for the third time, he was
the one part of it that didn’t get old or boring.
I did however get a little tired of the rest of
the movie, but I am not going to base my
opinion of the film on how many times I had
to watch it before I got bored, as many films
would have bored me after watching them
three times.
Although it probably won’t be held in the
same esteem as the likes of Beauty and the
Beast, Toy Story or Aladdin, it is still a very
good disney film and does what every good
disney film should do... it inspires droves of
children to dare to dream.
So, that being said I really can’t give it a bad
review just because I myself don’t feel the
same way about it as my daughter does, but
thats because your not supposed to. I want
each and every one of you to think back to a
Disney film you saw as a child, I don’t need to
tell you which one to think about, because the
first one that pops into your head will be the
one you loved as a child and felt the most
attached to. For me it was Aladdin.
Well that is what this film is all about, as is
almost every Disney movie on the market.
They are about creating memories for kids
and for that, I give Frozen a 10/10, as a movie
it would probably be a 7.5/10. So just
remember that next time your son or
daughter goes on and on about Frozen or
another film they absolutely love. You were
that child once.
“Killing People is Bad! Go and Stand in the corner and think about what you have done!”
Thanks to SaintsTerror for this issues Pic of the Month!
If you would like YOUR screenshot featured in the Community Pic of the Month, then
please go to the Community Homepage on the website and Submit your pictures via the
upload function at the bottom of the page.
Even though we can't feature all the picture on the Community Pic of the Month we will
show all of them on the website's Community Photo Album.
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