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The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 -...

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The Bulletin of The Lions Club of Jervis Bay PO Box 19 Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia Volume 35 Number 5 - November 2013 The Lions Roar
Transcript
Page 1: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

The Bulletin ofThe Lions Club of

Jervis BayPO Box 19 Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia

Volume 35 Number 5 - November 2013

TheLions Roar

Page 2: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

2

THE LIONS CLUBof

JERVIS BAY INC.District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4

P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia

PresidentLion John BrownPh: 0408 440 854

Secretary ImmediatePast President TreasurerLion Marie-Anne Watson Maureen Clemence Lion Joan Thomas

Ph: 4443 4599 Ph: 4447 8066

FirstVice President Second Vice PresidentLion Sue Pearson Lion Jeff Hunt

TwoYear Director OneYear DirectorLion Robyn Hunt Lion Andy Fruci

Tail Twister Lion TamerLion Bruce Jackson Lion Jeff Hunt

Membership CommitteeLion Maureen Clemence

Lion John Brown

Bulletin Editor Publicity OfficerLion Jeff Thomas Lion Tom McKenzie

Safety OfficersLion Robyn Hunt

Lion Bruce JacksonLion Sue Pearson

Page 3: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

3

November already!Time to start thinkingabout Christmas.Being abloke I’mwellon top of it. Book in holidays atwork -check. Dustoff fishing gear andbuy some newlures -check. Well that’s allthe important stuff done, the restI’ll take careof on Christmas Eve.

Sadly theLight the Night fundraiserat Husky on 14th Oct was rained outbefore it could really get started. Us Lions wereOK in the van but everyoneelse had to huddle under a few gazebos when therain started.

They then wisely decided to retire to the hotel to drawthe raffles while wepacked up thevan. Wesold about 100 sausage sandwiches for them andoverall they still raised some funds,though much less than anticipated. Wewish them greater success next year.

TheRiver Festivalon Sat26th Oct was a great success. The van was so busy MaryAnne had to go upthe road and buy moresupplies at about 1pm.

By the timethe fireworks started we could only offer dry bread and tea &coffee, everythingelse wasgone!As this was the inaugural eventno-one knewwhat to expect, nextyear we’ll have abetter idea.I’m sure the festival committee learnt a lot this year and we wish them all the best for nextyear.Aspecial thank you to Jeff and Jeff who as well as gettingthe van on sitealso had to deliverand set up thedance floor in front of the stage,and then dismantle and remove it at theend of the night!Seems thecommittee thought the road was good enough for thedancers untillthey looked at it 4 days before thefestival. So Jervis Bay Lions Club to the rescue with materials, transport and labourat the last minute.Welldone guys.

Carols are just around the corner. Jeff and Marie-Annehave begun the advertisingand we’llbe gettingflyers out and in theshops soon.

Vincentiaand Sanctuary Point to do this year so we’llbe busy. The car show to do at Husky 24th ofthis month,as well as a Bunnings BBQ on the30th and 5 days of SKYDS to cater for. Oh and theJervis Bay HearingCentre BBQ and Vincentia Public SchoolFood Fair.Glad I’ve got allmy Christmasstuff done!

Thanks to Bob and Deborah for hostinga great social lastmonth and also the Melbourne Cup Day onTuesday. Thesewere both top events among bestwe’ve had for a while and their generous hospitality ismuch appreciated.Thank you from allof us.

We havesome newmembers joiningus! So to them a warmand hearty welcome and we hope their Lion membership bringsthem as much joy and sense ofachievement as it does to therest of us. This is a great littleclub and I knoweveryone willmake them feelat home and assist them in every way.

Plenty to do at the November meeting so see you all there!

Lion John Brown

President

The President's Report

Page 4: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

4

Out and about with Lions -Ulladulla ConventionOver the weekend of 18th - 20th October, a mob ofus went down to Ulladulla to represent our Club at theDistrict 201N2 Convention.This was held in the newGymnasium /Auditorium oftheUlladullaHigh School.

The Hunts and theThomas's tooktheir "mobilehomes" and Wendy, Sueand Marie-Anne shared acabin at the Headlands Caravan Park.Bob andDeborah resided in the luxury of the localmotel.

The poorer side of the group in the caravans on thelowlands never did get to go up to the"heights" andhave a lookat the cabin where the secret women's business went on, but wedid get to hear a certainamount (in fact - a lot) about the nefarious and changeable sleeping arrangements!Most of the discus-sions had to do about body sizes and access (or lack of) to the triple bunks,after that it was the de-scriptions ofsleeping arrangements in thedouble bed!

I guess it's amatter of "whathappens at convention, stays at convention". In the interests of precioussensibilities,your editormight leaveall thatwell alone!

Anyway, to theConvention itself.

The usualprogram was followed, on Friday nightwe had the InformalReception and Flag Ceremony,then on Saturday we had theBusiness Sessions and an evangelistic session from ourAmerican Interna-tional Director Steve Glass.This was followed by the induction of a new Branch Lions Club (!) at-tached to the Ulladulla-Milton Lions Club.

Saturday night, the Jervis Bay mob forsook theConvention DinnerDance on offer and had dinnertogetherat theMollymook GolfClub - a most salubrious night.

Sunday morning,back to the Conventionfor theRemembranceCeremony whereLions who departed during thepast yearwere honoured,and ourown GordonWeeks was oneof those remembered withappropriate ceremony. During the Cer-emony, representatives from the respectiveClubs placed candles on a large plaqueand a flower in thevase adjacentas thenames were called out (sort of). Theplaquewas the feature of the eventas canbeseen from the photograph. We werealso given asmall plaque in Gordon'shonour thathas nowbeen given to LionsLady Joyceas amemento of the occasion.

After abit morebusiness and few "thankyou's" we allmadeour way north - with abit of shopping atSam's Warehouseof course.

Allthe business at theConvention and all theNotices ofMotion werepassed successfully and withoutcontroversy - you do miss the argy bargy of the "old"conventions with all the"bush lawyers"getting totheir feet to argueand argue and argue(sorry "debate") their points!

Mention should be madeof theentertainment wehad throughout the Convention.This was provided bystudents who had taken part in aMusicalScholarship Program conducted by U-MLions - they wereallvery good and provided us with many pleasantdiversions duringthe proceedings.

The Jervis Bay mob at the Ulladulla ConventionNote beverages from all the food groups!

After the Remembrance Ceremonywith Wendy indicating Gordon's candle

Page 5: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

5

Out and about with Lions - Light the NightLight the Night is a fund-raising program for the Leukaemia Foundation and wewere invited by thelocal organiser,Christine Frew to take the Van down to the event to help cater to the people who weregoingto walkthe path to Vincentia carrying lanterns. Despite agreat day leading up to the event, Hueydecided to open the heavens that night and send down atorrent like we hadn't seen in quite a long timearound these parts.

This was quite adisappointment as there had obviously been a greatdealoforganisation put into theevent and many people were turning up to take part and do the walk.

As it turned out, therewas so much rain the gazebos were made good useof as shelters for the masses.When there was to beno obvious let-up from Huey adecision was made to escape to "The Huskisson"to draw theraffles they had organised.

Weare told that $3000was raised anyway which is a good result for such a disappointing night. Thenext night,of course,was aperfect night!!

While the organisers adjourned to thePub to sort out the raffles, we Lions (who had been in a warm,dry van allnight) packed it allup and went home.

All the food was donated to Christine, so there was no loss on our part for the night, in fact we gained afew sausages out of the deal!

Although rained out,another opportunity to "do ourbit" for thecommunity -and havea bitof fun in theprocess.

Out and about with Lions - Bushfire CollectionsWith the currentbushfire situation, the members of JB Lions can't pass up an opportunity to takeup acollection!

Generally at the instigation and with the encouragementof Wendy these collections just seem to happenspontaneously and away we go to raise money for thepeople who have been affected by this devasta-tion.

Over the past week and a bit, there havebeen peopleoutside Coles at Vincentia shaking buckets at thepeople as they cometo do their shopping.

Bob was involved (of course)as was Noel, Lance, Wendy, Leanne,Robyn, Marie-Anne,Joyce andJoan (forgiveme if I have left anybody out). Between them over the timethey managed to raise just abit over $8700! Sue's on holidays, otherwise shewould have be there as well!

As we havedone in the past in similarsituations, we will send this money to Lions Clubs in the areasaffected fordistribution as they see the need.This way we knowthat it will bedistributed where it hasto go, to thosewho need it most.

This is a 'welldone' to all those involved, it just shows both how a fewcan makea big difference andthedegree ofgenerosity of the community in timeof need.

The Treasurer has asked me to request a moratorium on cash collections for awhile -until she can gethercountingfingers rehabilitated!

Page 6: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

6

Out and about with Lions - River Festival

Nobody knew what to expect!

Had we known what to expect, this event wouldhaveexceeded allour expectations!

There were many different food sources avail-able to the public,Nowra Lions were there,Bomaderry Lions were there, Tracy was therewith her hotdogs, Andy and Barbera were there- andAndy's opposition was there, there wasGozleme, there were wood-fired pizzas. ANDwe sold out of food - TWICE!

At the end of thenight therewas nothingleft inthe van except a few loaves of bread - nodrinks,no steaks, no sausages,no donutmix, noglow sticks - all gone!

Itwas so bad, when Joan wanted a drink desperately at the end of thenight, she had to go and beg offBomaderry - who came good with one, of course!

Halfway through theday, Marie-Annetooka trip up to town and came backwith aheap ofsausages and bread tobuild up ourstocks for the night-timerush, they just lasted for thenight rush.When we ran out of meat, wefired upthe donut machine- wecouldn't keepup with thedemand for them, we had alay-by system goingfor those in theend, peoplewould pay then comeback later!

As far as anyone can remember theamount ofmoney wetook on the dayin the van is a record.

Weshould be a bitbetter prepared next time- and therewillbea next time - the Commit-teewas so stoked with the success of theday that there is no way they willnot front upagain foranother go next year.

Afteran impassioned last minuteplea fromthe committee fora lowlevel stageon theroad surfacenear themain stage, JB Lionscame to the rescue with a stagewe havestored in theshed. CPJeff and your scribewere able to assemble this to the satisfactionof thedancers who didn't really want todance on the bitumen!

Overall itwas a very good day with many tired Lions goinghome knowingthat they had madea signifi-cant contribution to ourActivities Account.There was some newLions therewho found out whatbarbecues are allabout too, thanks Steve,Carol andYvonne for a job well done!

The crowd in front of the van - like this all day!

Part of the large crowd watching the entertainment on stage

"Our" stage being put to good use.

Page 7: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

7

Out and about with Lions - Melbourne CupWhat would the MelbourneCup be without somesort ofgathering for theJervis Bay Lions?

Wehad theusual, funny hats, sweeps, food, and food, andmorefood -and amodicum ofresponsible drinking,of anassortment ofbeverages from the main food groups.

It was good to see representation from ournewer memberswho experienced theconsiderable hospitality of theHanlons.

We need to express our considerablegratitude to Bob andDeborah for their hospitality and the way they had preparedfor the day - welldone, and thanks for the day.

What a shame for those who had to work!

Out and about with Lions - Driver ReviverWith so much happeningof late, the timewe helped Sussex InletLions outwith theirDriver Reviverseems so long ago now - actually it was only on Saturday 5th October!

But help out wedid, towed the van down to the Sussex turn-off and set up to see the travellers off withtea and coffee and the occasionalcooked mealand donut.

Although nota busy day in the big scheme of things, wewere able to 'wave the flag' for Lions and makea fewnew friends along the way -and wehad each others' company.

We (JBLions) gave this caperup sometime back,mainly becauseof the heavy and constant commit-mentnecessary from the members of theClub to man thevan day and nightduring busy traffic periods.We used to beset up outside the Timber Truss factory at Falls Creekon thehighway and this wasbeforeyour scribe was involved with Jervis Bay. I am lead to believe that theworkload justbecame sointense that itwas decided to forsake the project and Sanctuary Point Lions took it over and shifted itdown to theSussex Inlet turn-off. Then with thedemise ofSanctuary Point, who also found it an ardu-ous task when they weredown to just a few members,Sussex InletLions have taken on the commit-ment - and have taken overSanctuary Point's new(ish) van suited to the purpose.

Out and about with Lions - Last Social NightThanks again mustgo to the Hanlons for makingtheir abodeand hospitality available forour regularSocialMeetinglast month.

Again wewere adorned with more than sufficientfood and beverages to make for avery enjoyablenight,and everybody outdid themselveswith theamountof food brought alongto contribute to thenight.

We also had a talk from Paulwho is tryingto getsome fund-raisinggoingto support his sister whohas a sinister and invasive form of cancershe isbattling.

We willbe considering this proposalin a bit moredetail at tonight's meeting.

We also said a sad farewell to Bruce and Lisa with amontage "tribute" . They will be moving to

Tenterfield before too long - will be sadly missed.

The hats - Lou and Carol won the prizes -and the food - well some of it!

Page 8: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

8

Out and about with Lions - Giving a handMonday last, (4th November)Marie-Anne and your scribeattended an "intergenerational event"at theBay and Basin ResourceCentre atSanctuary Point - Frankand Bob were to come, but medical thingsintervened -allwe knew was that we going to make some prosthetic hands as a group exercise.

That was enough to at least raise my curiosity level!

Iknew what "prosthetic hands"meant, buthow werewe goingto be able to put them together - and getthem working?

The project is best described by its instigator,Matt Henricks:

SEEING a man whohad lived 36 yearswithout a handautograph his name,was one of the mostrewarding momentsfor charity founderMatt Henricks.

Through the Aus-tralian branch ofthe Helping Handsprogram the elderlyman from Cambo-dia, who lost hishand in 1977 digging irrigation canals for the Khmer Rouge, was fitted with a limb justlast year - and "he was just so excited," Mr Henricks told news.com.au.

There are about 300,000 people in poor countries around the world that live without ahand, largely due to being hit by land mines, of which there are still 100 million activeglobally. Access to prosthetic limbs is also limited.

"That's actually a UN estimate, which is really troubling," said Mr Henricks. "The need isso great."

Helping Hands is both a team building and a charitable activity.Prosthetic hands are sentto workplaces to be made up by executives and employees, and then sent on to localcharities in places such as Uganda and Sierra Leone to be distributed to men, women andchildren who have lost limbs.

"I was plodding along being a psychologist,doing HRpolicies and site testing and noth-ing to with charities or team building at all," Mr Henricks said.

"I went along to a conference with a client and it was there that news about the HelpingHands program was shared, and I was quite moved by what I saw. I actually called up theAmericans, which is where the program was founded, and asked them who was pushing itin Australia. I just thought it was a great initiative."

Globally, Helping Hands has distributed 12,000 hands to date. Since starting the Austral-ian branch of the company in April2012, Mr Henricks and his team have sent 525 handsacross the world, with a goal of reaching 1000 by the end of 2013.

Page 9: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

9

One country to receive the hands is Cambodia, and visiting there was an "extraordinarilymoving" experience for Mr Henricks.

"Cambodia is a country that has been through decades of war, but we don't automati-cally consider it to be a country that has a lot of problems now," he said.

"It really struck me how many people are still impacted by landmines and other issues.There's five million landmines for 15 million Cambodians, that's a pretty crazy statistic. Itreally threw me because Cambodia is more and more a mainstream tourist trailand wedon't really think of it like that.

The day we attended, there were eight groups that were to build a hand each. The"intergenerational" bitcame in when eightYear 10 girls from Vincentia High arrived and were each assigned to a table that wasgoing to be occupied by ahand buildinggroup. The"other" generations were represented by peoplefrom various groups and organisations - therewere people there from the Men's Shed ArtGroup, theBBCR, the 92.7 FM Radio station - and Jervis Bay Lions.

When we were all sorted out into our groups, we found that we had aplastic bagon the table that had asign on it "Do notopen untilinstructed" -I did resist the temptation, but it wasn't easy foran inquisitivemind!!There was also an instruction book- also with the"Do notopen" message!

Anyway wewere shown the inevitablevideo presentation about thehands and where they would beused, and then we were let looseon the plastic bags.

Emptying thebag revealed a ziplockbag containingsome simple tools (allenkeys, big coachbolt - later found to be used as a 'hammer' - and a 'hook thing',like a crotchethook), a large 'pencil case' type thing and a smalltin can with ascrew-type lid.

When we opened the 'pencil case' allmanner ofplastic bits fell out together withaclaw-like gadgetand Velcro bits on long cords.The tin with the lid containedall the 'little bits'needed to put the thing together.

This, it turned out was the 'hand' we were going to make.

Withoutgoing into the wholeprocess too far, allthese bits came togethereventually to make theprosthetic hand (shown opposite).

If you do want to seehow thehand does go together,go to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8hBt2V6hrI and havea lookat thecompleteassembly process.

Thedesign is quite clever,particularly in its simplicity and easeof assembly - anybody can putone ofthese things together- and we did!

It consists of three fixed 'claws' and two movable ones. Themoveable ones have aratchet mechanismattached so that you can push them towards (and past) the fixed claws and they willstay in the positionwhere you set them.This means that you can set them to hold an item from the sizeof a large can all theway down to even a needle.This doesn't happen automatically,you eitherhave to set them with your"good" hand,or somebody else can assist you.

When you want to release the moveableclaws, you just tilt the hand at the"wrist", this releases theratchets holding theclaws shut, and theclaws release to an open position.

The "hand"pivots on the "wrist"and is held in position by a rubbergrommet with the friction of therubber holdingit to the angleyou set.

Page 10: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

10

The group in which I was involved, consistedofLara from Vincentia High,myself andRenate, a lady who is an announcer fromRadio 92.7 FM.

Weallhad a good and rewardingtime puttingthe hand together, and the eventualresult waspleasing to the eyeand of immense practicaluse to those missingthe useof oneor morehands in a third world country.

Another touch was thatwe wereall given"stubby holders" toput overourdominanthand to simulate the effectof nothaving theuse of that hand.This idea lasted a(little) while,but frustration dictated that these "encumbrances" be

removed to facilitate some decentprogress inthe assembly process. Wedid get the ideahowever, losinga hand is definitely not anadvantage!

When the hand was successfully assembled itcame down to artistic Renate to 'decorate' the'pencilcase' to bring some cheer to the even-tual recipient - wealso had our photographstaken to be included with the hand to showthe person who actually put theirhand to-gether- and who to blame, Iguess, if it didn'twork! (All care taken, etc.)

TheVelcro straps are to hold thegadgeton thearm as shown inMarie-Anne's photo - and mine Iguess, but my straps were not"neat"! Guess it's a 'male' thing!

Actually when you seepictures ofthehands in use theVelcro bandgoes on the arm above the elbow,not as we assumed, below theelbow.

In theend, theassembled handwas packed in the 'pencil case' to

bedelivered to a recipient in Cambodia.

A most satisfying project and ifwe get the chanceto take part again, I will be there,and Iwould urgeevery oneof you to comealong and have ago atmakingsome amputee's life just that littlebit better- and have some fun as part of the process.

Oh,and lunch was supplied as well!!

Bonus!

A study in concentration and co-operation!Lara, Renate and Jeff at work

Marie-Anne's group "at it" - they are wearing their"encumberances"!

Marie-Anne's result - holding apen!

Jeff's result - holding a stubbyholder - typical!

Photo for the recipient - hopefully we will all get aphoto back of 'our' hand in use!

Page 11: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

11

Wat's On?

NOVEMBER

Tuesday 5th Melbourne Cup Day at Bob & Deborah’s

Thursday 7th Lions Meeting

Saturday 9th Vincentia Public School Food Fair

Sunday 10th Huskisson Markets

Sunday 10th Seminar for Youth Exchange at Ulladulla

Tuesday 14th Jervis Bay Hearing Centre Party - BBQ

Saturday 16th Sustainability Workshop - SCC

Monday 18th SKYDS at Creswell

Tuesday 19th SKYDS

Wednesday 20th SKYDS

Thursday 21st SKYDS

Thursday 21st Youth of the Year Club Contest

Friday 22nd SKYDS

Sunday 24th Ollie's Car Show at Husky Sportsground

Wednesday 27th Combined Lions Dinner for LINAC

Saturday 30th Bunnings BBQ

DECEMBER

Sunday 1st Zone Meetingat Ulladulla

Thursday 5th Lions Meeting

Saturday 7th Carols at Paradise Beach, Sanctuary Point

Sunday 8th Huskisson Markets

Thursday 19th Carols at Vincentia Mall

Tuesday 31st New Years Eve Fireworks

When Iwas in the pub I heard a coupleof plonkers saying that they wouldn’t feel safe on an aircraft ifthey knew the pilot was a woman.

What a pair ofsexists. Imean, it’s not as if she’d have to reverse thebloody thing!

Page 12: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

12

On the Lighter Side

Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen workingat the local sawmill.

One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caughtand severed by thebig benchsaw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plasticbag and rushes it and Mickto thelocalhospital.

Next day, Paddy goes to the hospitaland asks after Mick. The nurse says, “Oh he’s out in Rehabexercising”.

Paddy couldn’t believe it, but there’s Mickout the back exercising his nowre-attached arm.The verynext day he’s backat work in thesaw mill.

Acouple of days go by, and then Mickslips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw.

So Paddy puts the limb in aplastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to Hospital..

Nextday hecalls in to seehim and asks thenurse howhe is. The nurse replies, “He’s out in the Rehabagain exercising”.

And sure enough, there’s Mick out theredoing someserious workon the treadmill.And very soonMick comes back to work.

But, as usual, within a coupleof days he has another accident and severs his head.

Wearily Paddy puts thehead in a plasticbag and transports it and Mickto hospital.

Next day hegoes in and asks the nurse how Mick is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, “He’sdead.”

Paddy is shocked, butnot surprised.“I suppose the sawfinally did him in.”

“No”, says the nurse, “Some dopeput his head in a plasticbag and he suffocated."

A magician was workingon acruise ship.

Since the audiencewas different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

Therewas only one problem:The captain’s parrot saw the shows each weekand began to understandhow theMagician did every trick.

Oncehe understood,he started shouting in the middleof the show, “Look, it’s not the samehat!” or,“Look, he’s hidingthe flowers under the table!” Or “Hey, why are all the cards the aceof spades?”

Themagician was furious butcouldn’t do anything. Itwas, afterall, theCaptain’s’parrot.

Then one stormy night on thePacific, theship unfortunately sank,drowning almostallwho were onboard.

The magician luckily found himself on a pieceof wood floating in the middleof thesea, as fate wouldhave it ... With the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not uttera word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could nothold back any longerand said...

“OK, Igive up.Where’s the bloody ship?” 

Page 13: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

13

Birthdays

Anniversaries

Age shall not weary them :

Lion Joan Thomas 22nd November

Lion Hannah Chaw 26th November

N'or the years condem:

Lion Barry and Rae McCaffery 3rd November

Lion's Anniversaries of Joining JB ClubLion Joan Thomas 1st November 2007 (6 years in Lions)Lion Jeff Thomas 1st November 2007 (34 years in Lions)Lion Leanne Jackson 1st November 2011 (2 years in Lions)

Jeremy was watching his favorite soccer team play on TV.

All thewhile hiswife was outside trimmingthe bushes and cuttingthe lawn.

When the game was finished he gothimself up from thecouch and went outside to askhis wifewhat shewas makingfordinner.

As you can imagineshe was quite irritated.He actually had thenerve to ask whatwas for dinner whenshewas doing all thework and he was doing nothing.

Shesaid to her husband,“Jeremy, just imagine Iam outof town and you go backinside and figure outdinneryourself.”

So hewent backinside and cooked up a largesteak, with a nice baked potato and he sat down to eat.

Ashort while later his wife came inside and said, “Oh I seeyou made dinner. Where is mine?”

“I thought you were outof town,”he said.

Adistraught senior citizen phoned herdoctor’s office. 

“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of mylife?” 

“‘Yes, I’m afraid so,”’ the doctor told her. 

There was a momentof silence before the senior lady replied, 

“I’m wondering, then, justhow serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REPEATS’..” 

Page 14: The Lions Roar - Jervis Bay Lions Club · 2 THE LIONS CLUB of JERVIS BAY INC. District 201N2 - Region 2 - Zone 4 P.O. Box 19, Huskisson, NSW, 2540, Australia President LionJohn Brown

14

LIONS CLUBS INTERNATIONAL

LIONS CLUB PURPOSES

TO ORGANIZE, charterand superviseservice clubs to be known as Lions Clubs.

TO COORDINATE theactivities and standardise theadministration ofLions Clubs.

TO CREATE and foster a spirit of understandingamong thepeople of the world.

TO PROMOTE the principles of good government and good citizenship.

TO FUND and otherwise serve the civic,cultural, socialand moralwelfare of the community.

TOASSISTfinancially, culturally, socially,and morally thedisabled, disadvantaged and infirm of thecommunity both directly andalso indirectly.

TO UNITE the clubs in thebonds offriendship, good fellowship andmutualunderstanding.

TO PROVIDE a forum for theopen discussion of allmatters of public interest; provided, however,thatpartisan politics and sectarian religion shallnot bedebated by club members.

TO ENCOURAGE service-minded people to serve their community without personalfinancial re-ward, and to encourageefficiency and promote high ethical standards in commerce, industry, profes-sions, publicworks and private endeavours.

LIONS CLUB CODE OF ETHICS

TOSHOWmy faith in the worthiness of my vocation by industrious application to theend that I may

merit a reputation for quality of service.

TO SEEK success and demand all fair remuneration orprofit as my just due, but to acceptno profit or

success at the price of my own self respect lost because ofunfair advantage taken or because of

questionableacts on my part.

TO REMEMBER that in buildingup my own business it is not necessary to teardown another’s; to

be loyal to my clients or customers and true to myself.

WHENEVER adoubt arises as to the rightor ethics of my position or action towards others, to

resolvesuch doubtagainst myself.

TO HOLD friendship as an end and not ameans. To hold that true friendship exists not on accountof

theservice performed by one to another,but that true friendship demands nothingbut accepts

service in thespirit in which it is given.

ALWAYS to bear in mind my obligations as a citizen to my nation, mystate and my community,and to

give them my unswerving loyalty in word,act and deed. To give them freely ofmy time, labour and

means.

TOAID others by givingmy sympathy to those in distress,my aid to theweak, and my substance to

theneedy.

TO BE CAREFUL with my criticism and liberalwith my praise, to build up and not destroy.


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