Behaviour

Toddler behaviour

Your baby has blossomed into a bundle of curiosity with an enquiring and demanding mind

of her own.

Your toddler has a lovely surprise in store for you. When you

ask her to do something, she may actually do it! By this age,

many children start to control their urges, change their

behaviour and do as mum or dad asks. Not all the time, of

course.

The name for this wonderful ability is self-regulation. It is one

of life's most important milestones.

Here are some things to keep in mind about toddler behaviour:

Toddlers are naturally curious about their world. They learn by testing and

experimenting with everything around them. Constantly telling her 'no' can pour

cold water on this natural curiosity. You may want to try some other ways to

change behaviour you don’t like.

Allow exploring. Try to create situations where your child can explore life without

lots of 'don'ts' and 'nos'. For example, if it's not acceptable to blow bubbles in her

milk during lunch perhaps she can go outside later and blow bubbles in water. Put

your favourite things out of reach so you don't have to tell your child not to touch

them.

Let's make a trade. If she is sucking on your favourite scarf, replace it with a

less precious but equally tasty item (see our tips on how to use distraction).© 2013 Raising Children Network. All Rights Reserved. Page 1/18

Offer two choices. Most children like to have some control over their world. By

offering her two choices (either of which you are happy with), you can guide her to

the result you would like. So, if you think she needs to do a wee, you could say,

‘Would you like to go on the potty or the toilet now?’

Change the environment. When she wants to 'help' in the kitchen, move her away

from the hot oven and give her a wooden spoon and a pot to bang.

Show her how you feel. If she happens to pull your hair, pull a sad face and say

'ouch'. If she keeps doing it, avert your eyes and withdraw a little. Using 'I'

statements helps, like 'I don’t like it when you pull my hair'. She will recognise

her own emotions in yours, like a mirror, and be able to feel for you.

Avoid rewarding bad behaviour. Your attention is a powerful reward for your child.

Avoid giving it when your child is doing something you don't like. Putting your

child down (if you are holding her) or walking away from her are good ways of not

giving attention if your toddler keeps doing something you don't like after you

have asked her to stop.

Explain the consequences of her behaviour so she can figure out why something

is wrong. This helps give her a better understanding of the world around her.

Manage transitions carefully. At this age, children can find it hard to change from

one activity to another. Some extra time, sensitivity and planning can help.

Encouraging good behaviour: 12 tips

These 12 tips encourage good behaviour in children of all ages.

 

Children do as you do. Your child watches you to get her clues on how to behave in the

world, so, as a role model, use your own behaviour to guide her. What you do is often

much more important than what you say. If you want your child to say ‘please’, say it

yourself. If you don’t want your child to raise her voice, keep your voice at a reasonable

level too.

 

Keep promises. When you follow through on your promises, good or bad, your child learns

to trust and respect you. So when you promise to go for a walk after she picks up her

toys, make sure you have your walking shoes handy. When you say you will leave the

library if she doesn’t stop running around, be prepared to leave straight away if she

continues. No need to make a fuss about it – the more matter of fact, the better.

 

Get down onto their level. Kneeling or squatting down next to children is a very powerful

tool for communicating positively with them. Getting close allows you to tune in to what

they might be feeling or thinking. It also helps them focus on what you are saying or

asking for. If you are close to her and have her attention, there is no need to make her

look at you.

 

‘I hear you.’ Active listening is another tool for helping young children cope with their

emotions. They tend to get frustrated a lot, especially if they can't express themselves

well enough verbally, so when you repeat back to them what you think they might be

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feeling, it helps to relieve some of their tension and makes them feel respected and

comforted. It can diffuse many potential temper tantrums.

 

Catch her being ‘good’. This simply means that when your child is behaving in a way that

you like, you can give her some great positive feedback, for example, ‘Wow, you are

playing so nicely. I really like it when you keep all the blocks on the table’. That works

better than ‘waiting’ for the blocks to come crashing to the floor before you take notice

and bark, ‘Hey, stop that!’. This positive feedback is sometimes called ‘descriptive

praise’. Try to say six positive comments (praise and encouragement) for every negative

comment (criticisms and reprimands). It also pays to remember that children will seek

out negative attention if the only alternative is no attention at all.

 

Choose your battles wisely. Before you intervene in anything your child is doing, ask

yourself if it really matters. By keeping instructions, requests and negative feedback to a

minimum, you create less opportunity for conflict and bad feelings. Rules are important,

but reserve them for the most important things.

 

Keep it simple. If you can give clear instructions in simple terms, your child will know

what is expected of her. (‘Please hold my hand when we cross the road.’) 

 

Responsibility and consequences. As children get older, you can increasingly give them

responsibility for their own behaviour and the chance to experience the naturalconsequences of that behaviour. You don’t have to be the bad guy all the time. For

example, if she forgot to put her lunch box in her bag, she will go hungry at lunch time. It

is her hunger and her consequence and it won’t hurt her to go hungry just that one time.

Sometimes, with the best intentions, we do so much for our children that we don’t allow

them to learn for themselves. At other times you need to provide consequences

for unacceptable behaviour. For these times, it is best to ensure that you have explained

the consequences and that your children have agreed to them in advance.

 

Say it once and move on. Nagging and criticising is boring for you and doesn’t work. Your

child will just end up tuning you out. Try to avoid idle threats. Your child will very quickly

work these out and ignore them. The best way is to let them know what you think once

and then take action if you need to set limits or back up a rule.

 

Make her feel important. Children love it when they can contribute to the family. Start

introducing some simple chores or things that she can do to play her own important part

in helping the household. This will make her feel important and she’ll take pride in helping

out. If you can give your child lots of practise doing a chore, she will get better at it and

will keep trying harder. Safe chores help them feel responsible, build their self-esteem

and help you out too.

 

Prepare for challenging situations. There are times when looking after your child and

doing things you need to do will be tricky. If you think about these challenging situations

in advance, you can plan around her needs and talk to her about why you need her

cooperation. Then she is prepared for what you expect. 

 

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Maintain a sense of humour. Another way of diffusing tension and possible conflict is to

use humour. You can pretend to become the menacing tickle monster or make animal

noises. However, humour at her expense won't help; young children are easily hurt by

parental ‘teasing’. Humour that has you both laughing is great.

Discipline

The word ‘discipline’ actually means ‘to teach’ and not necessarily to punish. If you use the

above strategies, you will probably never need to punish your child in the old-fashioned

sense. Smacking is not an effective or acceptable punishment for a child, no matter what

age. Hitting doesn’t change a child’s behaviour for good. It might stop their behaviour

momentarily, while they try to figure you out, but they will soon become confused when

they copy your behaviour and get in trouble for it. It doesn’t give them the opportunity to

learn about related consequences or solve their own problems. Instead, it can make themfearful, insecure and resentful. Some parents may hit their child because they are trying to

relieve their own tension or stress in a situation. For more help with managing stress and

angry feelings, try reading Feeling stressed and When you feel you might hurt your child 

When to say ‘No’

Often, a child behaves ‘badly’ because they know it will get attention (and for children of all

ages, negative attention is better than no attention at all). So paying too much attention to

bad behaviour often actually encourages it.

If your toddler is aware of the ‘right’ behaviour, she will only respect you if you follow

through with the matter-of-fact consequence that you agreed on earlier. If she is not aware,

then a firm ‘No’ or ‘Stop that now’ is something your toddler should understand, but save

these expressions for when it really counts or in dangerous situations. Even though your

child may be walking and talking now, and even though she stopped in her tracks the last

time you said ‘No’, that doesn’t mean she will stop every time, so you still have to make

sure you have a firm but comfortable grip of her hand when crossing the road or in other

potentially dangerous situations.

If you ever become concerned or very frustrated by your toddler's behaviour, seek

professional advice.

Connecting and communicating

Communicating with toddlers

With a lot of attitude and not too many words, a toddler needs your help to be

understood.

Toddlers are listening to every word we say (even if we don’t notice it). They understand a

lot more than we first think possible. They can be very sensitive and get grumpy or burst

into tears at the way you said something or laughed at them.

A toddler’s world is one of big emotions mixed with communication skills that just can’t

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keep up. Their feelings can sometimes be too much for them,

but they can’t find the words to tell you what’s wrong. They are

torn between their fear of being separated from you and their

longing for independence. And their brains are just grasping

the idea that they can change how the world works. They are

driven to communicate so they can get help with everyday

needs, but also to feel secure, understood and accepted by

their family.

Children really need to be heard and, once heard, understood.

This can be very difficult for toddlers who can’t fully express

themselves. It can lead to lots of frustration which can lead to tantrums.

Tips for good communication

Really tune in to what your child is trying to say. Notice the emotions behind it.

Make regular time to communicate with him in your own special way. Even twominutes every half hour makes a difference.

When your toddler comes to you, try to drop whatever you're doing to talk – it is

likely he only really needs your undivided attention for a minute or two.

Get down on his level to talk to him by kneeling or squatting next to him.

Try to let him finish his sentences before interrupting, no matter how meandering

they might be.

Read to him and tell stories. Picture books help children learn about language.

Always be honest. Children are brighter than many of us think. When we lie to

them, we lose their trust.

Toddler talk

Stuck for words, a toddler will use actions to communicate what he wants. He may tug on

your pants to be picked up, shake or nod his head and use clear gestures to tell you to go

away. If you have introduced a few baby language signs, he might start using them by 18

months and even make up some of his own – look out for those moments of creative

brilliance and join him in making up a couple that you can share as your own secret code.

One favourite is the 'I love you' sign which can help smooth goodbyes and be ‘spoken’ from

afar.

When your toddler relies on body language, you can help develop his talking. Repeat whatyou think he wants in words and explain your response. For instance, ‘You want to be picked

up but mummy’s got something in her hand, so you can hold my other hand’, or ‘I can see

you don’t want that. What about this?’

Positive talk

By talking out loud about everything, even your chores as you do them, you can help build

his vocabulary and language skills.

We all like being told what we can do, rather than what we shouldn’t do. Your toddler is just

the same. For example, rather than saying 'Don’t run in the house', you can say 'Please

walk when you’re in the house'. ’Don’t yell‘ can become 'Please talk quietly'.

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Development

An overview of toddler development

Curious toddlers develop their most important skills by playing and experimenting.

Development is a journey, not a race. Your toddler will probably

develop in fits and starts. One week, he may proudly learn to

kick a ball and name three body parts. Then nothing happens

for a while. The development process soon kick-starts again.

What your toddler may be doing

All children develop at different rates. Your toddler may

dawdle with some milestones. Don’t worry, they nearly always

catch up. You know your toddler best so if you are worried

about his development, speak to your GP or baby health nurse.

Below is a guide to some of the milestones for children aged 1-3. For more detailed month-

by-month information, see What your toddler may be doing. You will also find advice on

when to seek help about a toddler’s late development.

By 12 months, he can:

pull up to standing position

get into a sitting position

cruise (move from place to place, always holding on)

clap hands (play pat-a-cake)

indicate wants in ways other than crying

By 18 months, he can:

use two words (by 16½ months)

drink from a cup

By 2 years, he can:

take off an article of clothing

'feed’ a doll

build a tower of four cubes 

identify two items in a picture by pointing (by 23½ months)

By 2½ years, he can:

use 50 words or more

combine words (by about 25 months)

follow a two-step command without gestures (by 25 months)

By 3 years, he can:

identify four pictures by naming

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wash and dry hands (just more than three years of age)

identify a friend by naming

throw a ball overhand

speak and be understood half the time

carry on a conversation of two or three sentences

use prepositions (by, to, in, on top of)

Health

Common health issues

Toddlers seem to be constantly catching something. Colds, coughs, sniffles and even

fevers are quite common.

Colds and other mild illnesses are part of growing up and there

is not much a parent can do to avoid them. Fluids, comfort and

rest are usually the best remedy. Keep an eye on your toddler

and, if you are worried, there is no harm in asking a health care

professional for advice.

Signs of serious illness

The signs of serious illness in a toddler are the same as for

babies and can be found in the ‘nutshell’ guide to baby health. 

Illness can quickly worsen in a toddler, so always call your

doctor if you are worried.

Common health issues

Asthma. One in five Australian children suffer from asthma which sounds like a

whistling wheeze when your child breathes out. An asthma attack can be very

distressing for both child and parents. If you think your child has asthma, see

your doctor about a management plan.

Croup. This is caused by a virus and usually comes after a cold. Children with

croup cough like a barking seal. Most cases of croup can be managed like a cold.

You know your child best so, if you are worried, see your doctor.

Chickenpox. This itchy virus causes red blisters on the body which children find

impossible not to scratch. Once the chickenpox virus has run its course, it then

stays dormant in the body and can return many years later as ‘shingles’. It is

contagious, so you will need to keep her away from other children until the last

blister has healed over. The easiest way to avoid chickenpox is to have your

child immunised. Chickenpox vaccine is offered free at 18 months of age.

Vomiting and diarrhoea are common in toddlers because they tend to put

everything (including fingers) in their mouths. Offer her small amounts of clear

fluid (water, oral dehydration fluid or flat lemonade diluted one-to-four with water

if she won’t drink water alone) regularly until the problem passes. If you are

worried that she is not getting better,  ask your health care professional for

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advice. Find more about vomiting and diarrhoea.

Bladder infection. Also called a urinary tract infection, this is more common in

girls. You may notice she needs to wee more often and may be irritable or have a

mild fever. For girls, wiping front to back will prevent most bladder infections.

Treatment is with oral antibiotics so see your doctor.

See the A-Z Health Reference for other common health issues that may affect your toddler.

Health tips for toddlers

1. Make sure immunisations are up to date Immunisation protects us against bacteria and viral nasties, such as measles and

diphtheria, that are potentially serious and even life threatening. Immunisation is

considered essential protection for your child. Toddlers can be immunised by a GP or at a

baby health centre at:

12 months

18 months

24 months

The Maternity Immunisation Allowance is only payable once you have followed the

immunisation recommendations.

2. Don’t give unprescribed medicationsNormal household medicine can be deadly to toddlers. That’s why it is important not to give

any medication to your child unless it is prescribed for her by your doctor. Some herbal

remedies can also be dangerous, so it’s best to check with a doctor to be safe.

3. Keep her air clean‘Secondhand smoke’ can cause serious health risks to non-smokers. If someone in your

house smokes, they can protect your child by always smoking outside. Avoid using

chemical household sprays, like insect repellent or cleaning products, when your toddler is

in the room.

Daily care

Toilet training

Helping your toddler learn how to use a toilet, dress and brush her teeth soon leads to

that proud day when she declares ‘I can do it myself!’

Some children are ready to sit on the potty at 18 months. Others don’t show any ‘ready’

signs until they are closer to three. All children are different and things will go more

smoothly if you can wait until your toddler shows an interest.

Toilet training may take days or months. You may want to start during summer when you

can let her run around naked or with no pants. With pants off, toddlers can really start

‘connecting the dots’ about when they need to go to the potty.

Eventually, all children get the hang of making it to the toilet in time. The key is to stayrelaxed and not push your child. Telling her you are proud of her will make her feel great

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about every toilet triumph.

Washing handsLearning to wash hands is a good habit that will come in handy

when your child starts using the toilet. In addition to washing

hands after using the potty, encourage your toddler to wash her

hands before meals, too. A pump action soap dispenser is

easier for her to handle than a slippery bar of soap.

Teeth, sun care, dressing and bathing

Teeth

No-one wants to take their two-year-old to the dentist for anything other than a friendly

inspection. The best way to prevent tooth decay is to go easy on sugary food and drink.

Sugar rots teeth and is no substitute for healthy, nutritious food. Also try to limit fruit juice

as it may dissolve the tooth enamel surface. Whole fruit is better for them and water is what

they need most.

To brush teeth, use a smear of toothpaste (try different flavours if necessary) on a soft

bristle toothbrush, in the morning and last thing before bed at night.

Adult fluoride toothpaste is not recommended for children under two as too much may

cause grey discoloration on their permanent adult teeth. Low-fluoride toothpaste is

available in child-friendly varieties (lots of sparkles and great flavours) at the supermarket.

Sun care

For good health, children need a small burst of sun (even more subdued, reflected light

works), as little as 15 minutes, each day. In Australia, the sun’s burning UV radiation is

strongest from September to April, between 10 am and 3 pm. So try to plan outdoor

activities for early morning and late afternoon.

Australia has the highest rate of skin cancer in the world and children’s skin burns much

more easily than adult skin. Sunscreen, protective clothing and a spell in the shade are the

best ways to keep her safe from sunburn.  Remember to choose a sunscreen containing the

invisible reflective shield of titanium dioxide or zinc because the regular chemical

absorbers are just not as protective.

Dressing

It won’t be long before your little fashion model wants to try dressing herself. Let her have a

go, offering help only when she asks for it. Pants with elastic waists, open-neck tops and

cardigans are the easiest to put on. Also look for clothes with big buttons (not too many)

and toggles that are easy for little hands to grasp.

Bathing

Bathtime is play time for your toddler, pouring water, filling cups, splashing. Even though

she can sit securely in the bath now, never leave her alone in the bathroom as she may slip

or turn on the hot tap. Remember that drowning is quick, silent and can happen in veryshallow water.

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Nutrition and fitness

Nutrition basics

These guidelines and practical tools help ensure your children stay fit and healthy.

Nutrition can be an anxious subject for some parents. You may

worry about whether your child is eating enough good food. You

may wonder whether he is overeating or becoming unhealthy.

The following guidelines and tools may help you understand

how to best help your child.

Appetite

Children go through growth and activity spurts, so sometimes

they are really hungry and sometimes they eat like birds. As

long as you offer nutritious food, you can trust your child'sappetite to get the balance right. Forcing children to eat (even strongly encouraging

them to eat more) can often backfire. It also helps to remember that sweets, chips and

biscuits can interfere with their natural appetite for nutritious food. Let their appetite be the

guide.

Five basic nutritional needs

If you have the following five areas covered, you can't really go wrong. The key is that you

decide what to offer your children, and they decide how much of that they will eat. (This

technique is called division of responsibility.)

Protein builds bodies and keeps children strong and healthy. Try peas and beans (any

kind, including frozen baby peas and canned baked beans), eggs, fish, chicken, meat,

milk, yoghurt and low-fat cheese.

Vegetables and fruit contain nutrients and fibre important for a healthy body inside and

out. The more colourful, the better. Offer vegies like broccoli, green beans, carrots,

sweet potato, tomatoes, spinach, and cucumber (with skin). Also try colourful fruits such

as peaches, apricots, pears and apples. (Wash fruit and leave the skin on.)

Starchy carbohydrates provide energy.The more fibre they contain, the slower they burn.

Try fibre-enriched bread, wholegrain rice, couscous, pasta, corn bread, pancakes and

low-sugar cereal.

Good fats with long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids build brain and nerve cells. These

good fats are found in fish (tinned or fresh), avocado, and vegetable oils such as those

made from olives or canola (but try to avoid deep frying in these delicate unsaturated

oils).

Tap water is the cheapest and best source of fluids. It is also fortified with fluoride for

strong teeth. (If you do give juice, always mix it half and half with water.)

Foods to avoid

It's fine to offer dessert at the end of a meal, and sliced fruit is the healthiest option. Ifyou want to serve something special, go for vanilla ice-cream or banana bread. Save the

seriously sweet stuff, like chocolate, for special occasions like birthdays.

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A child's system can't handle foods high in salt, sugar or caffeine (found in cola drinks).Soft drinks and fruit juice are expensive, high in sugar and bad for teeth. If you want to

offer juice, mix it half and half with water.

Fast-fix foods. These foods are low in fibre and nutrients and high in sugar and/or fat.

They include hot chips, potato chips, doughnuts, biscuits and cookies, cakes, chocolate

and sugary sweets. The fat in most of these foods is the less-healthy type, including

trans fat. Just say 'no' and, instead, let your child get hooked on good snacks, like

grated or thinly sliced carrot and sweet baby peas served frozen in a cup.

Worried - too much or not enough?

Knowing the way your tummy 'talks to' your brain can help you deal with concerns about

undereating or overeating.

Delayed reaction. Our brains only realise we are full about 20 minutes after the food hits

our stomachs.

Tummy clock. Feeling hungry is partly determined by your child's ‘stomach clock’ – how

much he ate yesterday at the same time. Big meals at regular times actually encourage

a big appetite next dinnertime, so you can use that to your advantage either way. You

can encourage children who undereat at mealtimes to eat more by limiting ‘grazing’ (or

random snacking). On the other hand, regular healthy snacks can be a great way to

reduce overeating at mealtimes.

Overeating?If you are concerned that your child has a tendency to overeat, you can try slowing it down.

Offer half a normal portion of food and then, if he finishes it, offer the second half

of his meal 10 minutes later (sometimes this will give his brain a chance to catch

up with his stomach).

Offer the most nutritious stuff (lean protein and vegetables) first (this is called

‘food sequencing’). He doesn't need to eat everything on his plate but only offer

him a normal portion of starchy carbohydrates (like pasta, bread or potatoes)

after he has finished the more nutritious foods. (Given the choice, children tend

to go for the bread and pasta first, which can fill them up before they get to the

more nutritious foods.)

Undereating?You may feel your child is consistently not eating enough at mealtimes. If he tends to sit

happily for about five minutes and then starts fidgeting and loses his appetite, there are

some strategies you can try.

Use food sequencing to get the good stuff into him first (during that precious

window of opportunity).

Let him wolf down the food as fast as he wants (to let his stomach outrun his

brain so he'll fill up a bit more). His stomach clock can help too. If you can make

mealtimes the same every day, he is more likely to be hungry at that time of day.

Healthy eating and exercise habits

Children watch what you are eating. So you can help them adopt good eating habits by

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eating well yourself. If you load up with hot chips and cola, that’s what they will want too.

Some children reject a new food 6-10 times before they taste it and love it. Eat it

enthusiastically yourself and, if it is still rejected, try again in a few weeks or a few months.

There is no hurry but don’t give up as her tastes can change. Find out more about offering

new foods.

Healthy food for toddlers

For good food made easy, try these finger foods for toddlers.

Pack a goodness punch by including lots of your child’s nutritional needs in one

dish. Try Everything fried rice, an omelette with the lot, shepherd’s pie, baked

beans on wholegrain toast or pasta bolognaise with a meat and vegie sauce.

For more on good food, read Choosing good food.

Seven tips for happy mealtimes

Be relaxed about it, even if your child is not eating.

Mix it up a bit. Sitting at the same table for every meal can be hard going. Try a picnic in

the backyard or take dinner down to the beach or park occasionally.

Try not to give in to whingeing for alternatives to the meal you have prepared.

Offer nothing until the next scheduled mealtime or regular snack time (they'll get the

hang of it).

Schedule snacking to leave a good space before mealtimes (at least ½-1 hour).

At dinner, try offering the protein and the colourful vegies first, when they are most

hungry.

Be calm, firm and consistent.

Toddler exercise

Encourage your child to be physically active and you're helping to establish a healthylifelong habit. Exercise gives your toddler strong bones and muscles, a healthy heart, lungs

and arteries, and improved coordination, balance, posture and flexibility. It reduces their

risk of getting overweight or obese and of developing heart disease, cancer or

diabetes down the track.

Being overweight is unhealthy and uncomfortable – and very unpleasant for a young child.

Eating salty chips while watching TV is a recipe for child obesity. Try limiting TV time to 30

minutes, followed by an outdoor activity (like a walk to the park). Keep snacks healthy – a

banana, a handful of healthy crackers, thinly sliced carrot or celery sticks are all good

options.

Play and learning

Learning through play

For toddlers, play is an essential part of learning. It is how he develops physical skills,

self-esteem and confidence.

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Your toddler is on a quest to find out how everything works.

Curiosity drives his play and learning. If you say ‘no’ to him

every time, it’s like pouring cold water on his natural curiosity.

From about 14 months, toddlers play side-by-side with other

children but not always with them (parallel play). By the age of

three, they start to play with other children.

Time to play and learn

Playing lets your child’s imagination run riot. By listening,

looking, touching, tasting and smelling, he starts to learn about his world. Join in these fun

games and you show him he is loved and valued.

Learning at this age is a type of play and can be lots of fun:

Touching bag. Put a variety of small objects into a bag and ask your child to put

his hand in and feel one. Is it warm or cold? Is it smooth or rough? Is it hard or

soft? You are teaching your child to put words to objects and discover the names

of different textures.

Building blocks. Stacking and removing can teach simple counting and maths.

Shakers. Fill various plastic containers with sand, pebbles, rice and water. Give

them a shake and discover the different sounds they make.

Reading and play ideas

Books open up amazing new worlds and experiences. Stories help him develop speech,

imagination and even counting skills. Reading books together can become a much loved

ritual.

As you read the story, talk about what’s happening in the pictures; for example,

‘Look, it’s raining and he has his brolly up’.

Ask him to identify things that he knows in the picture; for example, ‘Where is the

emu on this page?’

You can even introduce him to numbers by counting objects in the pictures; for

example, ‘How many children are there in the playground? One, two, three …’.

 Or just lose yourselves in the story.

The best picture books are those that stand up to reading over and over, night after night.

Pop-up and lift-the-flap books are full of surprises. Your local library or bookshop may be

able to recommend some classic picture books.

Play ideas

Craft and creating. Nothing beats a stack of recycled paper, a paint pot and your

toddler’s imagination. Finger painting, potato prints and brush painting are all fun.

He will also enjoy scribbling with crayons and pencils (on paper, on walls or

whatever you fancy).

Water fun. In the bath or paddling pool, he will love emptying and filling

containers. Drowning is quick and silent, even in a small amount of water, so

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don’t leave him alone even for a moment.

Pretend play. By the time they are three, toddlers love dressing up in your old

clothes, shoes and jewellery. They like to play house and create their own world

with a doll’s house or farmyard of animals.

Outdoor play. Climbing and running are favourite activities for older toddlers.

Running means falling so be prepared for occasional spills and tears. Sandpits

provide hours of sifting and digging fun.

Books and songs. Singing and reading expand your toddler's vocabulary and help

him learn to talk. He loves sharing a burst of ‘Incey wincey spider’  (in Baby

Karaoke) or exploring the pages of The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Discovery. To see how things work, he will open and close drawers, push buttons

on the DVD player and post all sorts of objects into all sorts of holes. To avoid

saying ‘no’ to all his discovery play, remove access to valuable items. Make up a

‘magic box’ full of interesting things, like reusable stickers, shiny paper, stacking

cups, a pop-up book, old cards, crayons, dominoes and a small peg puzzle. Sneak

in some new items occasionally so he gets a surprise the next time he opens it.

Safety

Keeping your toddler safe

To watch your toddler all the time, you will need to grow eyes in the back of your head.

In the meantime, sensible safety rules will do the trick.

Toddlers really want to do things for themselves. This built-in

urge worked fine when we lived in caves. Then the most

dangerous thing a toddler could do was learn to wipe his own

bottom. But now, with toasters, microwaves and powerpoints,

sharp knives and roads with cars, doing it themselves has

greater dangers.

Toddlers get into places that you wouldn’t expect to find a

possum. They experiment with everything. Until they are five

or six, most don’t understand the dangers. And, because they

are still finding their feet, they seem to be constantly bumping,

tripping and falling down. 

SUPERVISION IS THE ONLY RELIABLE PREVENTION. By removing sources of

danger, you can also give your toddler the freedom she needs to explore.

Safety inside the home

The best way to toddler-proof your home is to get down to her level and look about. What

can you see down there that might be dangerous? To avoid constantly telling her ‘no’,

remove anything you don’t want touched. Here are some other tips:

Toddlers love to climb so secure your furniture, especially bookcases and TVs.

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Keep chairs away from windows and balconies.

Turn off space heaters when you leave the room.

When your toddler is out of your sight for a couple of minutes, you may want to

check whether he's discovered something intriguing but dangerous.

Curtain tie-backs and window blind cords can strangle a curious toddler. Remove

them or hook them well out of reach.

When you make a well deserved cup of coffee, keep it away from little fingers.

Install a safety gate at the top of stairs and teach her to come down stairs

backwards.

Keep medicines, cleaning fluids and other poisons locked away in high

cupboards.

Turn down your hot water system to 50° C to avoid scalding.

Keep a well stocked first aid kit and keep it out of her reach.

Check your fire alarms regularly.

Deadlocking doors when you are inside the house prevents you getting out if

there is a fire. Only deadlock when you are away from home.

In the kitchen

A dangling toaster cord is tempting to pull so keep appliance cords from hanging

over the edge of the bench.

When cooking, turn saucepan handles inwards and use the back stove elements

(rather than the front ones) when possible.

Keep washing up liquid, insect sprays and other chemicals locked away and up

high.

Remove stools or chairs that help her reach dangerous items, like knives or

glasses.

In the bathroom

Never leave your toddler alone in the bath, even for a second. Drowning is both

quick and silent. If you need to leave the bathroom to get something, get her out

of the bath.

Heat bath water to between 37°C and 38°C.

Lock medicines up high, out of reach.

Safety outside the home

Toddlers are fast and quiet. One minute, she is standing by your side, the next she is over

at the duck pond or heading for the carpark. By always keeping your eye on her outdoors,you can avoid dangerous accidents. When out walking, holding hands or using a pram can

keep her from darting onto the road. Swimming pools and open water are danger zones for a

curious toddler. Remember, drowning is swift and silent.

Keep these other pointers in mind:

When outdoors, remember the sunscreen and a hat. Toddlers burn very easily.

Keep up the habit of wearing a hat for all outside play. Remember that some

clothing lets through more radiation than SPF30 sunscreen does.

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In the car. Always buckle her up in the proper car restraint for her size. Children

left in cars overheat very quickly so don’t be tempted to leave her while you pop

into the shop. Always take her with you.

In the garden. A secure garden fence allows your toddler to play safely in your

backyard. Just watch she doesn’t figure out how to open the gate. If your garden

is not fenced, make sure she can’t open the doors to go outside without you.

In case of emergency

They don’t happen every day but accidents do happen. Be prepared by keeping a list of

emergency phone numbers in your mobile or by the phone.

It’s wise to take a first aid course, particularly if you live in an isolated area or are often

with your toddler on your own. The Parenting in Pictures guides to choking and CPR are also

worth printing and sticking on the fridge.

Sleep

Sleep needs and bedtime routines

Toddlers need 10-12 hours sleep a night. Most of them can do with an hour or two in the

middle of the day as well.

Once asleep, most toddlers sleep through most nights without

waking mum or dad. But, at this age, getting them to bed in the

first place can be a challenge. Toddlers love to test their

independence. A firm and consistent bedtime routine will win

them over.

Toddler sleep schedule

A common daily sleep schedule looks like this:

Time Schedule

7 am Wake up

1 pm Nap of no more than 2 hours

3 pm Wake up

7 pm Bedtime

Some toddlers like to wake up with the birds at 5.30 am or 6 am. Unfortunately, there isn’t

much you can do about it. Putting her to bed later in the hope that she may wake later

doesn’t tend to work. She may still wake up early and be grouchy from too little sleep. If you

live with an early riser, you may want to move your bedtime forward too.

And if your toddler’s day nap is too long or too late in the day, she may not be ready for bed

until late at night.

Bedtime routine

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A consistent bedtime routine helps prepare a child for sleep. Most toddlers are ready for

bed between 6.30 pm and 7.30 pm. This is a good time as they sleep deepest between 8

pm and midnight.

A routine might look something like this:

6.30 pm: Brush teeth and change nappy

6.45 pm: Quiet time (read a book or tell a story)

7 pm: Into bed and kiss goodnight

If your child takes a dummy to bed, you may consider saying goodbye to it at around three

years old. For tips on how to do this, see Letting go of the dummy.

Getting up after bedtime and moving to a 'big bed'

Your toddler may go through a stage of calling out from her bed or getting up after you have

said goodnight. Try these tips:

Avoid boisterous play — before bedtime, as it may make it harder for her to

settle.

Establish a consistent, calming bedtime routine.

Before leaving the room, check that your child has everything she needs and

remind her to stay quietly in bed.

Try not to respond to her calls after you have turned the light out, no matter how

loud the protests. If you respond, she will try the same thing again next bedtime.

If she gets out of bed, you can:

return her to bed firmly and quietly over and over until she doesn’t get

up again or

return her to bed once and, if she gets up again, close her door and

ignore all further protests. 

Find the strategy that works for you and stick with it. Read more about using

these strategies in Calling out and getting out of bed.

If your toddler shares her bedroom with a brother or sister, you may need to delay your

other child’s bedtime by half an hour until your toddler is settled and asleep. With luck, your

toddler will very quickly get the message that bedtime is for sleeping, and the disruption to

all will be minimal.

In calling out, your child may actually need something. If she has done a poo, change her

nappy with the lights dim and no talking. If she is scared of a monster under her bed, a

quick check by you (with the light off) can confirm the room is monster-free and your toddler

may then settle. If she is scared of the dark, think about using a night-light.

Moving to a ‘big bed’

Most children move from a cot to a bed somewhere between two and three-and-a-half years

old. But there is no hurry, particularly as some young toddlers become trickier to manage in

a bed. Of course, you may need to move her if she has started climbing out of the cot or

needs to use the potty at night, or if you need the cot for a new baby.

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Moving to a ‘big bed’ is a cause for celebration. You may want to redecorate her room at the

same time (with her input naturally!) and involve her in choosing a bed. A safety rail on the

side will stop falls.

For more tips on making a successful move, read Moving to a ‘big bed'.

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