Welcome ***August Meeting*** When: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 6:30 PM – Doors Open If this is your first meeting, please arrive by 6:30 pm 7:00 PM—Meeting Begins Where: Kingsland Baptist Church 20555 Kingsland Blvd, Katy, TX 77450 John Burns Building, East side of church Program: The Benefits of Massage During Deep Grief, Presentation & Chair Massages Directions: From East of Fry Road (coming from Houston): Go west on I-10 to Fry Road. Turn left (south) on Fry Road. Turn right (west) on Kings- land Blvd and travel 0.5 miles to Kingsland Baptist Church. From West of Mason Road (coming from San Antonio): Go east on I-10 to Westgreen Blvd. Turn right (south) on Westgreen Blvd and travel 0.6 miles to Kingsland Blvd. Turn left (east) on Kingsland Blvd and travel 0.5 miles to Kingsland Baptist Church. (Across from Nottingham Country Elementary School) Chapter Leaders Melinda and Glen Ginter (281) 492-1262 Newsletter Editor Annette Mennen Baldwin (281) 578-9118 Treasurer Lisa Leanard When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated. The Compas- sionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family. We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other with love, with understanding, and with hope. The children we mourn have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for them unites us. Your pain be- comes my pain, just as your hope becomes my hope. We come together from all walks of life, from many different circum- stances. We are a unique family because we represent many races, creeds, and relationships. We are young, and we are old. Some of us are far along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that they feel help- less and see no hope. Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength, while some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or in deep depression, while others radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain we will share, just as we share with each other our love for the children who have died. We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are commit- ted to building a future together. We reach out to each other in love to share the pain as well as the joy, share the anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts, and help each other to grieve as well as to grow. We Need Not Walk Alone. We Are The Compassionate Friends. ~TCF Credo We extend a warm welcome to all who attended their first meeting in July: Laura Boyd, whose son, Alec Christopher Hilman, died in May, 2014 Patti Wall, whose son, Stephen Michael Wall, died in September, 2013 The death of your child is probably the most traumatic, life-changing event that you will ever experience. The Compassionate Friends is an organization of parents who have also lost a child to death. Each of us has experienced the deep, searing pain that you are feeling now. Each of us has turned to other parents who were farther into their grief journey for guidance, support and understanding. This is done through our monthly meetings, our newsletter, our website, our phone-a-friend program, our library, our e-mail program and our referral program. Each month parents find our meeting to be a safe place where they can talk about their pain and problems with others who are uniquely qualified to understand; bereaved parents offer gentle suggestions or often simply listen. We invite you to bring a friend to your first few meetings until you feel a level of comfort with the group. Do not be surprised if we talk about the happy times with our children, the wonderful memories and the various methods we have created to keep our children close to us. It is here that many bereaved parents find hope as those who are more seasoned in their grief shine the light of experience to help illuminate each grief path. We have no dues. We are self-sustaining through donations and the generosity of so many in our community. You Need Not Walk Alone. Katy, Texas Chapter Newsletter August 2014 The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter Supporting Family After a Child Dies
Transcript
Welcome
August Meeting When Tuesday August 12 2014 630 PM ndash Doors Open If this is your first meeting please arrive by 630 pm 700 PMmdashMeeting Begins Where Kingsland Baptist Church 20555 Kingsland Blvd Katy TX 77450 John Burns Building East side of church Program The Benefits of Massage During Deep Grief Presentation amp Chair Massages
Directions From East of Fry Road (coming from Houston) Go west on I-10 to Fry Road Turn left (south) on Fry Road Turn right (west) on Kings-land Blvd and travel 05 miles to Kingsland Baptist Church From West of Mason Road (coming from San Antonio) Go east on I-10 to Westgreen Blvd Turn right (south) on Westgreen Blvd and travel 06 miles to Kingsland Blvd Turn left (east) on Kingsland Blvd and travel 05 miles to Kingsland Baptist Church
(Across from Nottingham Country Elementary School)
Chapter Leaders Melinda and Glen Ginter (281) 492-1262 Newsletter Editor Annette Mennen Baldwin (281) 578-9118 Treasurer Lisa Leanard
When a child dies at any age the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated The Compas-sionate Friends provides highly personal comfort hope and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter a brother or a sister or a grandchild and helps others better assist the grieving family
We need not walk alone We are The Compassionate Friends We reach out to each other with love with understanding and with hope The children we mourn have died at all ages and from many different causes but our love for them unites us Your pain be-comes my pain just as your hope becomes my hope We come together from all walks of life from many different circum-stances We are a unique family because we represent many races creeds and relationships We are young and we are old Some of us are far along in our grief but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that they feel help-less and see no hope Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength while some of us are struggling to find answers Some of us are angry filled with guilt or in deep depression while others radiate an inner peace But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate Friends it is pain we will share just as we share with each other our love for the children who have died We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves but we are commit-ted to building a future together We reach out to each other in love to share the pain as well as the joy share the anger as well as the peace share the faith as well as the doubts and help each other to grieve as well as to grow We Need Not Walk Alone We Are The Compassionate Friends ~TCF Credo
We extend a warm welcome to all who attended their first meeting in July Laura Boyd whose son Alec Christopher Hilman died in May 2014 Patti Wall whose son Stephen Michael Wall died in September 2013
The death of your child is probably the most traumatic life-changing event that you will ever experience The Compassionate Friends is an organization of parents who have also lost a child to death Each of us has experienced the deep searing pain that you are feeling now Each of us has turned to other parents who were farther into their grief journey for guidance support and understanding This is done through our monthly meetings our newsletter our website our phone-a-friend program our library our e-mail program and our referral program Each month parents find our meeting to be a safe place where they can talk about their pain and problems with others who are uniquely qualified to understand bereaved parents offer gentle suggestions or often simply listen We invite you to bring a friend to your first few meetings until you feel a level of comfort with the group Do not be surprised if we talk about the happy times with our children the wonderful memories and the various methods we have created to keep our children close to us It is here that many bereaved parents find hope as those who are more seasoned in their grief shine the light of experience to help illuminate each grief path We have no dues We are self-sustaining through donations and the generosity of so many in our community You Need Not Walk Alone
Katy Texas Chapter Newsletter
August 2014
The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter Supporting Family After a Child Dies
Page 2 August 2014
Katy TCF Volunteers
Welcome Cards to new membersmdashBrenda Schmitt Cards for remembrancesmdashRobin Larsen NewslettermdashAnnette Mennen Baldwin amennenbaldwinhotmailcom E-mail to group-Annette Mennen Baldwinmdash tcfkatymessagesgmailcom Publicity amp E-Mail correspondencemdashAnnette Mennen Baldwin Picture ButtonsmdashAnnette Mennen Baldwin Holiday amp Craft ProjectsmdashNeela Sen Welcome Packages mdashSherrie Schurman Librarymdash Jan Bigbee-Weesner Web Sitemdash Lee Schurman Treasurer 2014mdashLisa Leanardmdashlisaleanardsbcglobalnet SnacksmdashLaura Reding Memorial Bench MaintenancemdashDelia Granado Group Facilitators - Albert Tapia Robin Conner Lisa Leanard Annette Mennen Baldwin Jan Bigbee-Weesner Melinda Ginter Sherrie amp Lee Schurman Jo Wood Chapter LeadersmdashMelinda amp Glen Ginter
Join Our Chapter E-Mail List
Join our chapter e-mail list to re-ceive timely notices writings articles special information and more This is an important communication tool throughout the month for our mem-bers To join send an email to tcfkatymessagesgmailcom
National TCF Contact Information
TCF National Office PO Box 3696 Oak Brook IL 60522 Toll Free (877) 969-0010 wwwcompassionatefriendsorg Annette Mennen Baldwin Regional Coordinator
Birthdays
August 2 Matthew C Kerns son of Debbie Kerns August 2 Ian Geoffrey Woodham son of Geoffrey amp Pam Woodham August 4 Dustin Christopher Krause son of Susan and Tony Krause August 7 Luis E Molina son of Dahlia Salinas-Molina August 7 Matthew Moore son of Susan amp Bill Archer August 7 Angelica Rae ldquoAngelrdquo Cartwright daughter of Stephanie amp Michael Cartwright August 12 Vincent Joseph Sansone son of Tina amp Sam Sansone August 13 Jerad Matthew Whitten son of Ethel McTigue August 17 Melvin ldquoPaPardquo Bell Jr son of Diana amp Melvin Bell August 19 Alec Christopher Hilman son of Laura Boyd August 19 Jakob Heath son of Dawn Levell August 22 Harley Johannes Hammack grandson of Susan Hammack August 23 Brett Austin son of Janis Austin August 25 Chelsey Lee Jones daughter of Dennis amp Deanna Jones August 27 Hannah Henson daughter of Karen Henson August 30 John Robert Ginter son of Glen amp Melinda Ginter
Anniversaries
August 2013 1 Year Matthias Leschly Bang son of Rikke Bang August 2012 2 Years Misty Dawn Smith daughter of Terri DeMontrond August 2013 1 Year Clayton Brooks Prine son of Mary amp Bruce Prine August 2012 2 Years Patrick Wayne McCracken son of Wayne amp Connie McCracken August 2009 5 Years Wesley Wayne Bode son of Joyce Bode August 1993 21 Years Stormy Sean Beck daughter of Howard amp Linda Beck August 2006 8 Years Robin Kumar Sen son of Neela amp Salil Sen August 2009 5 Years Stephen Paul Rider son of Sharon amp Don Sackreiter August 2005 9 Years Brett Austin son of Janis Austin August 2002 12 Years Judah Lyon Sanjur son of Tiffany amp Emiliano Sanjur August 2006 8 Years Carlos Enrique Villarreal son of Linda Hilliard August 2011 3 Years Brandon Michael Noland son of Neshia Noland August 2012 2 Years Mackenzie Wiese daughter of Sheryl amp David Wiese August 2012 2 Years Lauren Wiese daughter of Sheryl amp David Wiese August 2011 3 Years Nicholas Roland Kaschik son of Rosalind (Roz) Turner August 1997 17 Years Elizabeth Anne Chamberlain daughter of David amp Colleen Chamberlain August 2007 7 Years Sean Patrick McEneaney son of Lynn Gilmore
August 2004 10 Years Stephanie Anne Favorite daughter of Malena amp Ray Lopez August 2010 4 Years Mario (Mijo) Escareno Jr son of Viola Escareno
August 2014 Page 3
Special Small Group Meetings For Parents Whose Child
Was Lost to Suicide The Katy Chapter of TCF has a unique program for parents whose chil-dren died from suicide All parents attend the opening of our meeting each month and then adjourn to their own private meeting for the remainder of the meeting Death from suicide usually requires additional and unique group dynamics This program is offered only to par-ents who have lost children to suicide
T
Printed in Loving Memory Of Todd M Mennen 1967-2002
Picture Buttons The Katy Chapter of the Compas-sionate Friends makes free buttons for all parents who provide us with a pic-ture or send a digital picture of their child If you would like to have a pic-ture button for your child please email t h e d i g i t a l f i l e t o t c f k a t y messagesgmailcom or give the pic-ture to Annette Baldwin We currently have many picture buttons ready for parents to pick up In addition we have many of the pictures that were scanned but never picked up by parents Please contact Sherrie at (281) 579-7741 if you have not picked up your pic-ture buttons or your pictures
Birthday Table
If your childrsquos birthday is in July please bring a picture or memento to our July meeting to share with the group In May and December we ask that you bring your childrsquos picture for the birthday table in the month preceding or following the actual event
National TCF Contact Information
TCF National Office PO Box 3696 Oak Brook IL 60522 Toll Free (877) 969-0010 wwwcompassionatefriendsorg
Loving ListenershellipPhone-A-Friend
TCF Katy has established a phone-a-friend list for parents who want to talk with someone who shares a similar loss If you would like to volun-teer to be a phone-a-friend please contact Annette Baldwin
Loss of an Adult ChildhellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Only ChildhellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Murdered Childhellip Robin (281) 851-5425 Neonatal LosshelliphellipHAND (832) 752-1919 Death of Teenage ChildhelliphellipJoyce (281) 858-4551 or Brenda (281)804-7087 Accidental DeathhelliphellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Death from long term illnesshellipKaren (832) 746-0279 Death of a Special Needs ChildhelliphellipNeela (281) 579-1262 Support for FathershelliphellipAlbert (832) 885-4741 Suicide helliphelliphellipSherrie (281) 579-7741
August Meeting Includes Program on Massage Stress Relief
Sometimes the best idea is to stop putting everyone else first and take care of ourselves This is particularly true for bereaved parents Most of us think of a therapeutic massage as a luxury Yet the reality is this the benefits of massage could be another valuable tool in your grief journey toolbox Proper massage therapy relieves stress and anxiety re-laxes muscles lowers blood pressure and soothes the mind and the broken heart Bereaved parents have found them-selves on a never-ending wheel from which there is no escape Taking grief breaks and putting ourselves first are two of the most important components in the early years of our grief We will have a short presentation on massage therapy stretching and other techniques during our open meeting Rena Leverence a massage therapist in the Katy area who has developed a solid following in the Physical Therapy world as well as in the bereaved and stressed out com-munities will be briefly speaking with us Following the break and during the group discussions Rena will be offering neck and shoulder chair massages at no cost to our members We urge you to take a peek at the massage therapy concept and find out if it is right for you Our meeting will be held on August 12 2014 at the Kingsland Bap-tist Church First time attendees should arrive by 630 for a short brief-ing which will give you information about this new experience The meeting will start at 700 pm Group discussions will begin about 730 pm
Bits And Pieces of Grief
ldquoI can only bite off chunks of grief in bits and pieces How else would I manage to get out of bedrdquo
~Desire Aguirre As with a four-course dinner we must take our grief in small bites The to-tality of our loss the shattering of our psyche and the horrific blow to our brains is just too much to absorb at one time Shock is natures cushion When shock subsides our reality is a physical pain an ache from deep inside that radi-ates throughout our bodies Once this subsides we endure the emotional agony and the kick in the gut that comes unannounced This quotation is very profound for both the newly bereaved and those of us who are much farther down the road of grief The loss of our child will be the single most defining factor in our lives However if we do our grief work and all that this entails we will eventually arrive at something akin to a new nor-mal Life will never be the same We will never be the same But we carry our children forward with us in our hearts and minds imagining all that could have been and accepting that these things are no longer meant to be I have managed to find a serenity and a purpose in my life yet the thrill of living is not the peaks the sadness is not the valleys Life now is steady as you go My compassion for others is now almost automatic my understanding of the macro perspective of life is deeper and wider than ever before I acknowl-edge that there is much to be learned on this journey But it is a painful educa-tion Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
August 2014 Page 4
Add A Page To Our Chapterrsquos Memory Book
We encourage each of our members to add a page to our Chapter Mem-ory Bookhellipa page devoted to your child If you would like to include your child in this album the page size is 8 12 x 11 If you need help designing a page or putting your thoughts into written form contact Annette Baldwin
Check Out Our Library
Our TCF library has many books tapes CDs and DVDs for our members Each one has been carefully selected by a member of
our TCF Chapter The li-brary is available for brows-ing before during and after our monthly meeting Check-out is a snap We en-courage our members to use this wonderful resource
There is much from which to choose check it out at the next meeting
Compassionate Friends Webinars As bereaved parents we know that there are times when there are no words to describe the depths of our pain and devastation Especially during the holiday season we seek answers sol-ace and peace Check the Compassion-ate Friends website at wwwcompassionatefriendsorg click on news and events then search for Webinars Upcom-ing webinar events will be listed some dates will be listed When you see a webinar in which you would like to actively participate just click and register To view the archives of webinars pre-sented by The Compassionate Friends go to httpwwwcompassionatefriendsorgNews_EventsSpecial-EventsWebinars Whether you choose to participate or simply access the archives of webinars we encourage to try this format and see if it has a place in your grief toolbox
TCF E-Newsletter An E-Newsletter is available through the National TCF Organization To subscribe go to TCFrsquos National Web site home page (wwwcompassionatefriendsorg) and click on ldquoRegister for E-Newsletterrdquo link
Resources Available to Our Members Resources of all types are available to our members We include these in the monthly newsletter and strongly recommend that in
addition to Compassionate Friends newly bereaved parents avail themselves of one or more of the
many retreats programs etc that are available in the Houston area
Happy 30th Birthday Son
Papa 30 years ago I was blessed to have such an amazing gift in you Irsquom sure that God could have selected anyone to be your mother but He chose me What a blessed woman I was to have given birth to you a 6lbs 3oz bouncing baby boy From 1 to 5 you developed into a spirited little boy learning your way through mischief amp play From 6 to 10 you begin to grow bigger and taller with a hilarious sense of humor with a sunny smile that captivated not only your mama but the people around you F r o m 11 to 15 you begin to grow into your poetic personality
your handsomeness and of course your wittiness to woo the girls your way From 16 to 20 you begin to build upon your skills and talents to en-hance your creativity and love for mu-sic and football From 21 to 28 you find yourself stepping into the role of a man ex-
periencing the blessings of God as a son brother uncle and father the greatest gift in the journey of life
Though the Lord our God blessed you with 28 years wishing for two more could only be an extraordinary wish Though itrsquos hard to imagine life without you Papa knowing that you were my son has given me a long lasting feeling of
warmth and love For 28 years I have provided the candles on your cake I rest with peace knowing that our Father has 30 beautiful candles that await you on a day that was especially designed by His hands amp love for you On August 17th I will be in remembrance of the joy that God gave me in you Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr as I held you in my arms caressed your rosy cheeks and kissed your precious little red lips I love you my Son for this day and ALL of my tomorrows
Mama
Written by Diana Bell Mother of Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr
TCF Katy TX
Summerwind The one who owns this summer is not here not here to know the tender summerwind not here to share the glowing and the song The one who owns this summer did not live not live to touch the richness of this day this day in summer when you are alone Weep to the summerwind weep and love again The one you remember Sascha Wagner From the Poems of Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 5
Choosing Hope ldquoMy freedom is the light of hope that shines from deep within my soul as I now hold my child in my mind and heart For this mother hope is knowing that death does not restrict me from my childrsquos life Death changes only the plane of our relationship for I am his mother and he is my son We will love our children for all eternity That is the freedom in our harness that comes with consciously choosing hoperdquo
~From Choosing Hope Annette Mennen Baldwin
Resources for Bereaved Parents
Open to Hope Foundation
Open to Hope grew out of the death of our 17 year-old son and brother Scott who was killed in a car crash and is dedicated to his memory Our mission is to give a voice to grief and support those looking for hope This website and the broadcasts are done by Drs Heidi and Gloria Horsley and is a recommended re-source by the Compassionate Friends httpwwwopentohopecom West Houston Methodist Hospital Tailored programs such as Methodist Hospitalrsquos early evening gathering offer a different perspective on grief This is a great opportunity to learn about grief the process of grief and how it impacts your life This group is facilitated by the Spiri-tual Care Department staff and is open to all faiths and be liefs This group offers an opportunity to meet others find support and share experiences We invite you to attend Please call Craig Bradley 832-522-0013
Grief resources for bereaved parents siblings and grandparents httpwwwcenteringorg
HOPE
Helping Our Pain Ease is a seven week bereavment support group offered in the Sugar Land area This group is by registration only Please call Annette Bisanz at 281-980-1449 to register This group is led by a trained volunteer in the HOPE group process The group meets for seven consecutive Thursday eve-nings Call 281-980-1449 for registration and date information
Summer Memories
Summertime is a happy time for most people in this country vacations holidays family reunions relaxed days at the pool eve-nings in the backyard talking with family and friends the smell of a fresh rain the long days the cooling nights fresh mown grass and flowers that bloom profusely
Despite Houstonrsquos heat summer has become a treasured time for me My son was a child of summer Born in May he loved the sum-mer sun on his face and the wind in his hair as he first rode a tricycle then a bicycle then drove a car Those were wonderful times for him The summer solstice on June 21 was a favorite day for us both Since the summer solstice is the long-est day of the year Todd particularly loved to watch the sunrise and sunset I found myself doing that again this year As I looked at the sun directly overhead at noon (100 pm DST) I made the comment that this is the one perfectly balanced day of the year Later as I watched a beautiful solstice sunset I remarked to my husband about the lighthellipthe gorgeous light I was seeing Todd in that light He was laughing chasing lightening bugs running and spinning and turning filled with the joy of summer He was happy
I listened to the neighborsrsquo children playing and I thought about all the wonderful summer days I had spent with my son I am thankful that I had that time I am thankful that my child was a son of summer He found much joy in nature in the outdoors in activities that took him out of the ordinary and into the sublime
Thatrsquos how it is for bereaved parents We eventually come to a place where we realize that our joyful memories have overtaken the pain of the loss of our child to death We wouldnrsquot trade the time we shared with our children for anything or any other experience We have many relationships in our lives but the unique nature of the par-ent-child relationship is so special so deep so life changing that we endure and even embrace the pain because we had for that time in our lives a relationship of pure love and pure joy with our child There is no way to measure the depth width or volume of a parentrsquos love It exceeds every other human relationship Yes we miss them terribly We weep silently into our pillows at night We light candles take flow-ers to the cemetery wear their favorite colors treasure pictures of our children and keep them forever in our hearts This is a big part of life for every bereaved parent
Somehow on the summer solstice I felt my childrsquos presence in the light of the day and the beautiful rose color of the solstice sun-set I could hear his voice see his smile and feel his emotions Peace slips into our hearts in extraordinary ways
Annette Mennen Baldwin In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
The Child Who Is Not There
The child thatrsquos not there
Takes up every piece of me The child thatrsquos not there
Consumes my every thought The child thatrsquos not there Makes me feel like I failed The child thatrsquos not there
Took away a main reason for being But
The children that are there Still somehow bring me joy The children that are there
Still need my love The children that are there Donrsquot need any more grief The children that are there
Force me to go on
Tricia Palmer In memory of my son Gabriel Boyer
TCF Tidewater VA
August 2014 Page 6
Grief to Greatness Website Several of our members read this website daily The message is transition to hope after the death of a loved one httpgrieftogreatnesscomindexhtml
The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter PO Box 45 Barker TX 77413
August 2014 Massage Therapy for Grief Massage Therapy for Grief
In Memory of our Beloved Children Memorials Given by In Loving Memory of
Glen and Melinda Ginter John Robert Ginter Robin Conner Christopher amp Dawn Wilson Brenda Schmitt Matthew Schmitt Lee amp Sherrie Schurman Sandra Schurman Diets Family Mario Escareno Debbie Diamm Matthew Salveski Nesha Noland Brandon Noland Colleen Chamberlain Elizabeth Chamberlain Rinicella Family Alexis Theresa Rinicella Thank you for your donation to The Compassionate Friends Katy TX Chapter
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF Your voluntary tax deductible donations honor your loved one in a meaningful way by enabling us to print and mail this Newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching out to other grieving families Donations along with the name of the person being honored may be sent to
Lisa Leanard 13814 Wheatbridge Drive Houston TX 77041
Open Letter to Our Son On His Eighth Anniversary
Dear Robin You have been gone eight years and it still hurts very much that you are no longer with us I dread this time of year because it brings back memories of the manner of your passing what it was and how much we miss you It took a long time to try to come to terms with the fact that you were never coming back and that we would never hear your voice again We used to pass your room and be brought to tears when look-ing at the empty bed and the two pillows on which your head used to rest when you slept at night It is the anticipation of the anniversary that is more painful than the day itself and we cringe to feel so inadequate at the very thought of us not being able to remember you when we too go to our maker at the end of our days It is thanks to The Compassionate Friends that we have survived with some kind of sanity and are able to laugh again It has taken a lot of time and effort on the part of many others to bring us from the brink of heartbreak into some semblance of balance so that we can try to help others who are experiencing the same journey into the pit of grief Our major problem has been the fact that you were an only child and there was no other person to comfort and care for I often think about the fateful decision that we took not to have another child but in the cir-cumstances given the nature of your disease we did the best that we could and had the patience to deal with all the issues that were thrown at us We have learned many things during the last eight years that have helped us beyond belief and brought us to a sense of who we are Your father has had a very difficult time with his grief and only goes to the Candle Lighting Ceremony in December He finds it very difficult to talk about you without choking up and prefers to grieve privately I do not insist on his attending the meetings of the Compassionate Friends be-cause I realize that men and women grieve dif-ferently I go to the meetings because I know that I can help others who are newer in their grief and maybe I might give them a sense of hope that the journey gets easier one day So Robin we remember you with gratitude since you are a son who is a great sour of pride and your courage in the face of great odds made you a trailblazer We love you and miss you beyond measure
Neela Sen
In memory of my son Robin Sen TCF Katy TX
Loves Lasting Touch
Dont weep for me when Im gone Because Ill always be there
My spirit will exist in all the earth In the water trees and air
Youll hear me say I love you In the whisper of a breeze
Youll know that Im beside you With the rustling of the leaves Youll feel my arms caress you In the warmth of each sunrise
The moon will be my goodnight kiss The stars my watchful eyes Your life will be my legacy Your memories my epitaph
These ties will bind us together Till we meet on heavens path
Ill not ever desert you Well never be far apart Ill live within you always
Nestled deep inside your heart
Jacquelyn M Comeaux In Memory of My Angels
Michelle Jerry amp Danny Copyright 1994
Reprinted by permission of author
ldquoAs long as I can I will look at this world for both of us As long as I can I will fly with the birds I will sing with the flowers I will pray to the stars for both of ushelliprdquo ~Sascha Wagner
Page 2 August 2014
Katy TCF Volunteers
Welcome Cards to new membersmdashBrenda Schmitt Cards for remembrancesmdashRobin Larsen NewslettermdashAnnette Mennen Baldwin amennenbaldwinhotmailcom E-mail to group-Annette Mennen Baldwinmdash tcfkatymessagesgmailcom Publicity amp E-Mail correspondencemdashAnnette Mennen Baldwin Picture ButtonsmdashAnnette Mennen Baldwin Holiday amp Craft ProjectsmdashNeela Sen Welcome Packages mdashSherrie Schurman Librarymdash Jan Bigbee-Weesner Web Sitemdash Lee Schurman Treasurer 2014mdashLisa Leanardmdashlisaleanardsbcglobalnet SnacksmdashLaura Reding Memorial Bench MaintenancemdashDelia Granado Group Facilitators - Albert Tapia Robin Conner Lisa Leanard Annette Mennen Baldwin Jan Bigbee-Weesner Melinda Ginter Sherrie amp Lee Schurman Jo Wood Chapter LeadersmdashMelinda amp Glen Ginter
Join Our Chapter E-Mail List
Join our chapter e-mail list to re-ceive timely notices writings articles special information and more This is an important communication tool throughout the month for our mem-bers To join send an email to tcfkatymessagesgmailcom
National TCF Contact Information
TCF National Office PO Box 3696 Oak Brook IL 60522 Toll Free (877) 969-0010 wwwcompassionatefriendsorg Annette Mennen Baldwin Regional Coordinator
Birthdays
August 2 Matthew C Kerns son of Debbie Kerns August 2 Ian Geoffrey Woodham son of Geoffrey amp Pam Woodham August 4 Dustin Christopher Krause son of Susan and Tony Krause August 7 Luis E Molina son of Dahlia Salinas-Molina August 7 Matthew Moore son of Susan amp Bill Archer August 7 Angelica Rae ldquoAngelrdquo Cartwright daughter of Stephanie amp Michael Cartwright August 12 Vincent Joseph Sansone son of Tina amp Sam Sansone August 13 Jerad Matthew Whitten son of Ethel McTigue August 17 Melvin ldquoPaPardquo Bell Jr son of Diana amp Melvin Bell August 19 Alec Christopher Hilman son of Laura Boyd August 19 Jakob Heath son of Dawn Levell August 22 Harley Johannes Hammack grandson of Susan Hammack August 23 Brett Austin son of Janis Austin August 25 Chelsey Lee Jones daughter of Dennis amp Deanna Jones August 27 Hannah Henson daughter of Karen Henson August 30 John Robert Ginter son of Glen amp Melinda Ginter
Anniversaries
August 2013 1 Year Matthias Leschly Bang son of Rikke Bang August 2012 2 Years Misty Dawn Smith daughter of Terri DeMontrond August 2013 1 Year Clayton Brooks Prine son of Mary amp Bruce Prine August 2012 2 Years Patrick Wayne McCracken son of Wayne amp Connie McCracken August 2009 5 Years Wesley Wayne Bode son of Joyce Bode August 1993 21 Years Stormy Sean Beck daughter of Howard amp Linda Beck August 2006 8 Years Robin Kumar Sen son of Neela amp Salil Sen August 2009 5 Years Stephen Paul Rider son of Sharon amp Don Sackreiter August 2005 9 Years Brett Austin son of Janis Austin August 2002 12 Years Judah Lyon Sanjur son of Tiffany amp Emiliano Sanjur August 2006 8 Years Carlos Enrique Villarreal son of Linda Hilliard August 2011 3 Years Brandon Michael Noland son of Neshia Noland August 2012 2 Years Mackenzie Wiese daughter of Sheryl amp David Wiese August 2012 2 Years Lauren Wiese daughter of Sheryl amp David Wiese August 2011 3 Years Nicholas Roland Kaschik son of Rosalind (Roz) Turner August 1997 17 Years Elizabeth Anne Chamberlain daughter of David amp Colleen Chamberlain August 2007 7 Years Sean Patrick McEneaney son of Lynn Gilmore
August 2004 10 Years Stephanie Anne Favorite daughter of Malena amp Ray Lopez August 2010 4 Years Mario (Mijo) Escareno Jr son of Viola Escareno
August 2014 Page 3
Special Small Group Meetings For Parents Whose Child
Was Lost to Suicide The Katy Chapter of TCF has a unique program for parents whose chil-dren died from suicide All parents attend the opening of our meeting each month and then adjourn to their own private meeting for the remainder of the meeting Death from suicide usually requires additional and unique group dynamics This program is offered only to par-ents who have lost children to suicide
T
Printed in Loving Memory Of Todd M Mennen 1967-2002
Picture Buttons The Katy Chapter of the Compas-sionate Friends makes free buttons for all parents who provide us with a pic-ture or send a digital picture of their child If you would like to have a pic-ture button for your child please email t h e d i g i t a l f i l e t o t c f k a t y messagesgmailcom or give the pic-ture to Annette Baldwin We currently have many picture buttons ready for parents to pick up In addition we have many of the pictures that were scanned but never picked up by parents Please contact Sherrie at (281) 579-7741 if you have not picked up your pic-ture buttons or your pictures
Birthday Table
If your childrsquos birthday is in July please bring a picture or memento to our July meeting to share with the group In May and December we ask that you bring your childrsquos picture for the birthday table in the month preceding or following the actual event
National TCF Contact Information
TCF National Office PO Box 3696 Oak Brook IL 60522 Toll Free (877) 969-0010 wwwcompassionatefriendsorg
Loving ListenershellipPhone-A-Friend
TCF Katy has established a phone-a-friend list for parents who want to talk with someone who shares a similar loss If you would like to volun-teer to be a phone-a-friend please contact Annette Baldwin
Loss of an Adult ChildhellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Only ChildhellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Murdered Childhellip Robin (281) 851-5425 Neonatal LosshelliphellipHAND (832) 752-1919 Death of Teenage ChildhelliphellipJoyce (281) 858-4551 or Brenda (281)804-7087 Accidental DeathhelliphellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Death from long term illnesshellipKaren (832) 746-0279 Death of a Special Needs ChildhelliphellipNeela (281) 579-1262 Support for FathershelliphellipAlbert (832) 885-4741 Suicide helliphelliphellipSherrie (281) 579-7741
August Meeting Includes Program on Massage Stress Relief
Sometimes the best idea is to stop putting everyone else first and take care of ourselves This is particularly true for bereaved parents Most of us think of a therapeutic massage as a luxury Yet the reality is this the benefits of massage could be another valuable tool in your grief journey toolbox Proper massage therapy relieves stress and anxiety re-laxes muscles lowers blood pressure and soothes the mind and the broken heart Bereaved parents have found them-selves on a never-ending wheel from which there is no escape Taking grief breaks and putting ourselves first are two of the most important components in the early years of our grief We will have a short presentation on massage therapy stretching and other techniques during our open meeting Rena Leverence a massage therapist in the Katy area who has developed a solid following in the Physical Therapy world as well as in the bereaved and stressed out com-munities will be briefly speaking with us Following the break and during the group discussions Rena will be offering neck and shoulder chair massages at no cost to our members We urge you to take a peek at the massage therapy concept and find out if it is right for you Our meeting will be held on August 12 2014 at the Kingsland Bap-tist Church First time attendees should arrive by 630 for a short brief-ing which will give you information about this new experience The meeting will start at 700 pm Group discussions will begin about 730 pm
Bits And Pieces of Grief
ldquoI can only bite off chunks of grief in bits and pieces How else would I manage to get out of bedrdquo
~Desire Aguirre As with a four-course dinner we must take our grief in small bites The to-tality of our loss the shattering of our psyche and the horrific blow to our brains is just too much to absorb at one time Shock is natures cushion When shock subsides our reality is a physical pain an ache from deep inside that radi-ates throughout our bodies Once this subsides we endure the emotional agony and the kick in the gut that comes unannounced This quotation is very profound for both the newly bereaved and those of us who are much farther down the road of grief The loss of our child will be the single most defining factor in our lives However if we do our grief work and all that this entails we will eventually arrive at something akin to a new nor-mal Life will never be the same We will never be the same But we carry our children forward with us in our hearts and minds imagining all that could have been and accepting that these things are no longer meant to be I have managed to find a serenity and a purpose in my life yet the thrill of living is not the peaks the sadness is not the valleys Life now is steady as you go My compassion for others is now almost automatic my understanding of the macro perspective of life is deeper and wider than ever before I acknowl-edge that there is much to be learned on this journey But it is a painful educa-tion Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
August 2014 Page 4
Add A Page To Our Chapterrsquos Memory Book
We encourage each of our members to add a page to our Chapter Mem-ory Bookhellipa page devoted to your child If you would like to include your child in this album the page size is 8 12 x 11 If you need help designing a page or putting your thoughts into written form contact Annette Baldwin
Check Out Our Library
Our TCF library has many books tapes CDs and DVDs for our members Each one has been carefully selected by a member of
our TCF Chapter The li-brary is available for brows-ing before during and after our monthly meeting Check-out is a snap We en-courage our members to use this wonderful resource
There is much from which to choose check it out at the next meeting
Compassionate Friends Webinars As bereaved parents we know that there are times when there are no words to describe the depths of our pain and devastation Especially during the holiday season we seek answers sol-ace and peace Check the Compassion-ate Friends website at wwwcompassionatefriendsorg click on news and events then search for Webinars Upcom-ing webinar events will be listed some dates will be listed When you see a webinar in which you would like to actively participate just click and register To view the archives of webinars pre-sented by The Compassionate Friends go to httpwwwcompassionatefriendsorgNews_EventsSpecial-EventsWebinars Whether you choose to participate or simply access the archives of webinars we encourage to try this format and see if it has a place in your grief toolbox
TCF E-Newsletter An E-Newsletter is available through the National TCF Organization To subscribe go to TCFrsquos National Web site home page (wwwcompassionatefriendsorg) and click on ldquoRegister for E-Newsletterrdquo link
Resources Available to Our Members Resources of all types are available to our members We include these in the monthly newsletter and strongly recommend that in
addition to Compassionate Friends newly bereaved parents avail themselves of one or more of the
many retreats programs etc that are available in the Houston area
Happy 30th Birthday Son
Papa 30 years ago I was blessed to have such an amazing gift in you Irsquom sure that God could have selected anyone to be your mother but He chose me What a blessed woman I was to have given birth to you a 6lbs 3oz bouncing baby boy From 1 to 5 you developed into a spirited little boy learning your way through mischief amp play From 6 to 10 you begin to grow bigger and taller with a hilarious sense of humor with a sunny smile that captivated not only your mama but the people around you F r o m 11 to 15 you begin to grow into your poetic personality
your handsomeness and of course your wittiness to woo the girls your way From 16 to 20 you begin to build upon your skills and talents to en-hance your creativity and love for mu-sic and football From 21 to 28 you find yourself stepping into the role of a man ex-
periencing the blessings of God as a son brother uncle and father the greatest gift in the journey of life
Though the Lord our God blessed you with 28 years wishing for two more could only be an extraordinary wish Though itrsquos hard to imagine life without you Papa knowing that you were my son has given me a long lasting feeling of
warmth and love For 28 years I have provided the candles on your cake I rest with peace knowing that our Father has 30 beautiful candles that await you on a day that was especially designed by His hands amp love for you On August 17th I will be in remembrance of the joy that God gave me in you Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr as I held you in my arms caressed your rosy cheeks and kissed your precious little red lips I love you my Son for this day and ALL of my tomorrows
Mama
Written by Diana Bell Mother of Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr
TCF Katy TX
Summerwind The one who owns this summer is not here not here to know the tender summerwind not here to share the glowing and the song The one who owns this summer did not live not live to touch the richness of this day this day in summer when you are alone Weep to the summerwind weep and love again The one you remember Sascha Wagner From the Poems of Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 5
Choosing Hope ldquoMy freedom is the light of hope that shines from deep within my soul as I now hold my child in my mind and heart For this mother hope is knowing that death does not restrict me from my childrsquos life Death changes only the plane of our relationship for I am his mother and he is my son We will love our children for all eternity That is the freedom in our harness that comes with consciously choosing hoperdquo
~From Choosing Hope Annette Mennen Baldwin
Resources for Bereaved Parents
Open to Hope Foundation
Open to Hope grew out of the death of our 17 year-old son and brother Scott who was killed in a car crash and is dedicated to his memory Our mission is to give a voice to grief and support those looking for hope This website and the broadcasts are done by Drs Heidi and Gloria Horsley and is a recommended re-source by the Compassionate Friends httpwwwopentohopecom West Houston Methodist Hospital Tailored programs such as Methodist Hospitalrsquos early evening gathering offer a different perspective on grief This is a great opportunity to learn about grief the process of grief and how it impacts your life This group is facilitated by the Spiri-tual Care Department staff and is open to all faiths and be liefs This group offers an opportunity to meet others find support and share experiences We invite you to attend Please call Craig Bradley 832-522-0013
Grief resources for bereaved parents siblings and grandparents httpwwwcenteringorg
HOPE
Helping Our Pain Ease is a seven week bereavment support group offered in the Sugar Land area This group is by registration only Please call Annette Bisanz at 281-980-1449 to register This group is led by a trained volunteer in the HOPE group process The group meets for seven consecutive Thursday eve-nings Call 281-980-1449 for registration and date information
Summer Memories
Summertime is a happy time for most people in this country vacations holidays family reunions relaxed days at the pool eve-nings in the backyard talking with family and friends the smell of a fresh rain the long days the cooling nights fresh mown grass and flowers that bloom profusely
Despite Houstonrsquos heat summer has become a treasured time for me My son was a child of summer Born in May he loved the sum-mer sun on his face and the wind in his hair as he first rode a tricycle then a bicycle then drove a car Those were wonderful times for him The summer solstice on June 21 was a favorite day for us both Since the summer solstice is the long-est day of the year Todd particularly loved to watch the sunrise and sunset I found myself doing that again this year As I looked at the sun directly overhead at noon (100 pm DST) I made the comment that this is the one perfectly balanced day of the year Later as I watched a beautiful solstice sunset I remarked to my husband about the lighthellipthe gorgeous light I was seeing Todd in that light He was laughing chasing lightening bugs running and spinning and turning filled with the joy of summer He was happy
I listened to the neighborsrsquo children playing and I thought about all the wonderful summer days I had spent with my son I am thankful that I had that time I am thankful that my child was a son of summer He found much joy in nature in the outdoors in activities that took him out of the ordinary and into the sublime
Thatrsquos how it is for bereaved parents We eventually come to a place where we realize that our joyful memories have overtaken the pain of the loss of our child to death We wouldnrsquot trade the time we shared with our children for anything or any other experience We have many relationships in our lives but the unique nature of the par-ent-child relationship is so special so deep so life changing that we endure and even embrace the pain because we had for that time in our lives a relationship of pure love and pure joy with our child There is no way to measure the depth width or volume of a parentrsquos love It exceeds every other human relationship Yes we miss them terribly We weep silently into our pillows at night We light candles take flow-ers to the cemetery wear their favorite colors treasure pictures of our children and keep them forever in our hearts This is a big part of life for every bereaved parent
Somehow on the summer solstice I felt my childrsquos presence in the light of the day and the beautiful rose color of the solstice sun-set I could hear his voice see his smile and feel his emotions Peace slips into our hearts in extraordinary ways
Annette Mennen Baldwin In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
The Child Who Is Not There
The child thatrsquos not there
Takes up every piece of me The child thatrsquos not there
Consumes my every thought The child thatrsquos not there Makes me feel like I failed The child thatrsquos not there
Took away a main reason for being But
The children that are there Still somehow bring me joy The children that are there
Still need my love The children that are there Donrsquot need any more grief The children that are there
Force me to go on
Tricia Palmer In memory of my son Gabriel Boyer
TCF Tidewater VA
August 2014 Page 6
Grief to Greatness Website Several of our members read this website daily The message is transition to hope after the death of a loved one httpgrieftogreatnesscomindexhtml
The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter PO Box 45 Barker TX 77413
August 2014 Massage Therapy for Grief Massage Therapy for Grief
In Memory of our Beloved Children Memorials Given by In Loving Memory of
Glen and Melinda Ginter John Robert Ginter Robin Conner Christopher amp Dawn Wilson Brenda Schmitt Matthew Schmitt Lee amp Sherrie Schurman Sandra Schurman Diets Family Mario Escareno Debbie Diamm Matthew Salveski Nesha Noland Brandon Noland Colleen Chamberlain Elizabeth Chamberlain Rinicella Family Alexis Theresa Rinicella Thank you for your donation to The Compassionate Friends Katy TX Chapter
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF Your voluntary tax deductible donations honor your loved one in a meaningful way by enabling us to print and mail this Newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching out to other grieving families Donations along with the name of the person being honored may be sent to
Lisa Leanard 13814 Wheatbridge Drive Houston TX 77041
Open Letter to Our Son On His Eighth Anniversary
Dear Robin You have been gone eight years and it still hurts very much that you are no longer with us I dread this time of year because it brings back memories of the manner of your passing what it was and how much we miss you It took a long time to try to come to terms with the fact that you were never coming back and that we would never hear your voice again We used to pass your room and be brought to tears when look-ing at the empty bed and the two pillows on which your head used to rest when you slept at night It is the anticipation of the anniversary that is more painful than the day itself and we cringe to feel so inadequate at the very thought of us not being able to remember you when we too go to our maker at the end of our days It is thanks to The Compassionate Friends that we have survived with some kind of sanity and are able to laugh again It has taken a lot of time and effort on the part of many others to bring us from the brink of heartbreak into some semblance of balance so that we can try to help others who are experiencing the same journey into the pit of grief Our major problem has been the fact that you were an only child and there was no other person to comfort and care for I often think about the fateful decision that we took not to have another child but in the cir-cumstances given the nature of your disease we did the best that we could and had the patience to deal with all the issues that were thrown at us We have learned many things during the last eight years that have helped us beyond belief and brought us to a sense of who we are Your father has had a very difficult time with his grief and only goes to the Candle Lighting Ceremony in December He finds it very difficult to talk about you without choking up and prefers to grieve privately I do not insist on his attending the meetings of the Compassionate Friends be-cause I realize that men and women grieve dif-ferently I go to the meetings because I know that I can help others who are newer in their grief and maybe I might give them a sense of hope that the journey gets easier one day So Robin we remember you with gratitude since you are a son who is a great sour of pride and your courage in the face of great odds made you a trailblazer We love you and miss you beyond measure
Neela Sen
In memory of my son Robin Sen TCF Katy TX
Loves Lasting Touch
Dont weep for me when Im gone Because Ill always be there
My spirit will exist in all the earth In the water trees and air
Youll hear me say I love you In the whisper of a breeze
Youll know that Im beside you With the rustling of the leaves Youll feel my arms caress you In the warmth of each sunrise
The moon will be my goodnight kiss The stars my watchful eyes Your life will be my legacy Your memories my epitaph
These ties will bind us together Till we meet on heavens path
Ill not ever desert you Well never be far apart Ill live within you always
Nestled deep inside your heart
Jacquelyn M Comeaux In Memory of My Angels
Michelle Jerry amp Danny Copyright 1994
Reprinted by permission of author
ldquoAs long as I can I will look at this world for both of us As long as I can I will fly with the birds I will sing with the flowers I will pray to the stars for both of ushelliprdquo ~Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 3
Special Small Group Meetings For Parents Whose Child
Was Lost to Suicide The Katy Chapter of TCF has a unique program for parents whose chil-dren died from suicide All parents attend the opening of our meeting each month and then adjourn to their own private meeting for the remainder of the meeting Death from suicide usually requires additional and unique group dynamics This program is offered only to par-ents who have lost children to suicide
T
Printed in Loving Memory Of Todd M Mennen 1967-2002
Picture Buttons The Katy Chapter of the Compas-sionate Friends makes free buttons for all parents who provide us with a pic-ture or send a digital picture of their child If you would like to have a pic-ture button for your child please email t h e d i g i t a l f i l e t o t c f k a t y messagesgmailcom or give the pic-ture to Annette Baldwin We currently have many picture buttons ready for parents to pick up In addition we have many of the pictures that were scanned but never picked up by parents Please contact Sherrie at (281) 579-7741 if you have not picked up your pic-ture buttons or your pictures
Birthday Table
If your childrsquos birthday is in July please bring a picture or memento to our July meeting to share with the group In May and December we ask that you bring your childrsquos picture for the birthday table in the month preceding or following the actual event
National TCF Contact Information
TCF National Office PO Box 3696 Oak Brook IL 60522 Toll Free (877) 969-0010 wwwcompassionatefriendsorg
Loving ListenershellipPhone-A-Friend
TCF Katy has established a phone-a-friend list for parents who want to talk with someone who shares a similar loss If you would like to volun-teer to be a phone-a-friend please contact Annette Baldwin
Loss of an Adult ChildhellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Only ChildhellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Murdered Childhellip Robin (281) 851-5425 Neonatal LosshelliphellipHAND (832) 752-1919 Death of Teenage ChildhelliphellipJoyce (281) 858-4551 or Brenda (281)804-7087 Accidental DeathhelliphellipAnnette (281) 578-9118 Death from long term illnesshellipKaren (832) 746-0279 Death of a Special Needs ChildhelliphellipNeela (281) 579-1262 Support for FathershelliphellipAlbert (832) 885-4741 Suicide helliphelliphellipSherrie (281) 579-7741
August Meeting Includes Program on Massage Stress Relief
Sometimes the best idea is to stop putting everyone else first and take care of ourselves This is particularly true for bereaved parents Most of us think of a therapeutic massage as a luxury Yet the reality is this the benefits of massage could be another valuable tool in your grief journey toolbox Proper massage therapy relieves stress and anxiety re-laxes muscles lowers blood pressure and soothes the mind and the broken heart Bereaved parents have found them-selves on a never-ending wheel from which there is no escape Taking grief breaks and putting ourselves first are two of the most important components in the early years of our grief We will have a short presentation on massage therapy stretching and other techniques during our open meeting Rena Leverence a massage therapist in the Katy area who has developed a solid following in the Physical Therapy world as well as in the bereaved and stressed out com-munities will be briefly speaking with us Following the break and during the group discussions Rena will be offering neck and shoulder chair massages at no cost to our members We urge you to take a peek at the massage therapy concept and find out if it is right for you Our meeting will be held on August 12 2014 at the Kingsland Bap-tist Church First time attendees should arrive by 630 for a short brief-ing which will give you information about this new experience The meeting will start at 700 pm Group discussions will begin about 730 pm
Bits And Pieces of Grief
ldquoI can only bite off chunks of grief in bits and pieces How else would I manage to get out of bedrdquo
~Desire Aguirre As with a four-course dinner we must take our grief in small bites The to-tality of our loss the shattering of our psyche and the horrific blow to our brains is just too much to absorb at one time Shock is natures cushion When shock subsides our reality is a physical pain an ache from deep inside that radi-ates throughout our bodies Once this subsides we endure the emotional agony and the kick in the gut that comes unannounced This quotation is very profound for both the newly bereaved and those of us who are much farther down the road of grief The loss of our child will be the single most defining factor in our lives However if we do our grief work and all that this entails we will eventually arrive at something akin to a new nor-mal Life will never be the same We will never be the same But we carry our children forward with us in our hearts and minds imagining all that could have been and accepting that these things are no longer meant to be I have managed to find a serenity and a purpose in my life yet the thrill of living is not the peaks the sadness is not the valleys Life now is steady as you go My compassion for others is now almost automatic my understanding of the macro perspective of life is deeper and wider than ever before I acknowl-edge that there is much to be learned on this journey But it is a painful educa-tion Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
August 2014 Page 4
Add A Page To Our Chapterrsquos Memory Book
We encourage each of our members to add a page to our Chapter Mem-ory Bookhellipa page devoted to your child If you would like to include your child in this album the page size is 8 12 x 11 If you need help designing a page or putting your thoughts into written form contact Annette Baldwin
Check Out Our Library
Our TCF library has many books tapes CDs and DVDs for our members Each one has been carefully selected by a member of
our TCF Chapter The li-brary is available for brows-ing before during and after our monthly meeting Check-out is a snap We en-courage our members to use this wonderful resource
There is much from which to choose check it out at the next meeting
Compassionate Friends Webinars As bereaved parents we know that there are times when there are no words to describe the depths of our pain and devastation Especially during the holiday season we seek answers sol-ace and peace Check the Compassion-ate Friends website at wwwcompassionatefriendsorg click on news and events then search for Webinars Upcom-ing webinar events will be listed some dates will be listed When you see a webinar in which you would like to actively participate just click and register To view the archives of webinars pre-sented by The Compassionate Friends go to httpwwwcompassionatefriendsorgNews_EventsSpecial-EventsWebinars Whether you choose to participate or simply access the archives of webinars we encourage to try this format and see if it has a place in your grief toolbox
TCF E-Newsletter An E-Newsletter is available through the National TCF Organization To subscribe go to TCFrsquos National Web site home page (wwwcompassionatefriendsorg) and click on ldquoRegister for E-Newsletterrdquo link
Resources Available to Our Members Resources of all types are available to our members We include these in the monthly newsletter and strongly recommend that in
addition to Compassionate Friends newly bereaved parents avail themselves of one or more of the
many retreats programs etc that are available in the Houston area
Happy 30th Birthday Son
Papa 30 years ago I was blessed to have such an amazing gift in you Irsquom sure that God could have selected anyone to be your mother but He chose me What a blessed woman I was to have given birth to you a 6lbs 3oz bouncing baby boy From 1 to 5 you developed into a spirited little boy learning your way through mischief amp play From 6 to 10 you begin to grow bigger and taller with a hilarious sense of humor with a sunny smile that captivated not only your mama but the people around you F r o m 11 to 15 you begin to grow into your poetic personality
your handsomeness and of course your wittiness to woo the girls your way From 16 to 20 you begin to build upon your skills and talents to en-hance your creativity and love for mu-sic and football From 21 to 28 you find yourself stepping into the role of a man ex-
periencing the blessings of God as a son brother uncle and father the greatest gift in the journey of life
Though the Lord our God blessed you with 28 years wishing for two more could only be an extraordinary wish Though itrsquos hard to imagine life without you Papa knowing that you were my son has given me a long lasting feeling of
warmth and love For 28 years I have provided the candles on your cake I rest with peace knowing that our Father has 30 beautiful candles that await you on a day that was especially designed by His hands amp love for you On August 17th I will be in remembrance of the joy that God gave me in you Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr as I held you in my arms caressed your rosy cheeks and kissed your precious little red lips I love you my Son for this day and ALL of my tomorrows
Mama
Written by Diana Bell Mother of Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr
TCF Katy TX
Summerwind The one who owns this summer is not here not here to know the tender summerwind not here to share the glowing and the song The one who owns this summer did not live not live to touch the richness of this day this day in summer when you are alone Weep to the summerwind weep and love again The one you remember Sascha Wagner From the Poems of Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 5
Choosing Hope ldquoMy freedom is the light of hope that shines from deep within my soul as I now hold my child in my mind and heart For this mother hope is knowing that death does not restrict me from my childrsquos life Death changes only the plane of our relationship for I am his mother and he is my son We will love our children for all eternity That is the freedom in our harness that comes with consciously choosing hoperdquo
~From Choosing Hope Annette Mennen Baldwin
Resources for Bereaved Parents
Open to Hope Foundation
Open to Hope grew out of the death of our 17 year-old son and brother Scott who was killed in a car crash and is dedicated to his memory Our mission is to give a voice to grief and support those looking for hope This website and the broadcasts are done by Drs Heidi and Gloria Horsley and is a recommended re-source by the Compassionate Friends httpwwwopentohopecom West Houston Methodist Hospital Tailored programs such as Methodist Hospitalrsquos early evening gathering offer a different perspective on grief This is a great opportunity to learn about grief the process of grief and how it impacts your life This group is facilitated by the Spiri-tual Care Department staff and is open to all faiths and be liefs This group offers an opportunity to meet others find support and share experiences We invite you to attend Please call Craig Bradley 832-522-0013
Grief resources for bereaved parents siblings and grandparents httpwwwcenteringorg
HOPE
Helping Our Pain Ease is a seven week bereavment support group offered in the Sugar Land area This group is by registration only Please call Annette Bisanz at 281-980-1449 to register This group is led by a trained volunteer in the HOPE group process The group meets for seven consecutive Thursday eve-nings Call 281-980-1449 for registration and date information
Summer Memories
Summertime is a happy time for most people in this country vacations holidays family reunions relaxed days at the pool eve-nings in the backyard talking with family and friends the smell of a fresh rain the long days the cooling nights fresh mown grass and flowers that bloom profusely
Despite Houstonrsquos heat summer has become a treasured time for me My son was a child of summer Born in May he loved the sum-mer sun on his face and the wind in his hair as he first rode a tricycle then a bicycle then drove a car Those were wonderful times for him The summer solstice on June 21 was a favorite day for us both Since the summer solstice is the long-est day of the year Todd particularly loved to watch the sunrise and sunset I found myself doing that again this year As I looked at the sun directly overhead at noon (100 pm DST) I made the comment that this is the one perfectly balanced day of the year Later as I watched a beautiful solstice sunset I remarked to my husband about the lighthellipthe gorgeous light I was seeing Todd in that light He was laughing chasing lightening bugs running and spinning and turning filled with the joy of summer He was happy
I listened to the neighborsrsquo children playing and I thought about all the wonderful summer days I had spent with my son I am thankful that I had that time I am thankful that my child was a son of summer He found much joy in nature in the outdoors in activities that took him out of the ordinary and into the sublime
Thatrsquos how it is for bereaved parents We eventually come to a place where we realize that our joyful memories have overtaken the pain of the loss of our child to death We wouldnrsquot trade the time we shared with our children for anything or any other experience We have many relationships in our lives but the unique nature of the par-ent-child relationship is so special so deep so life changing that we endure and even embrace the pain because we had for that time in our lives a relationship of pure love and pure joy with our child There is no way to measure the depth width or volume of a parentrsquos love It exceeds every other human relationship Yes we miss them terribly We weep silently into our pillows at night We light candles take flow-ers to the cemetery wear their favorite colors treasure pictures of our children and keep them forever in our hearts This is a big part of life for every bereaved parent
Somehow on the summer solstice I felt my childrsquos presence in the light of the day and the beautiful rose color of the solstice sun-set I could hear his voice see his smile and feel his emotions Peace slips into our hearts in extraordinary ways
Annette Mennen Baldwin In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
The Child Who Is Not There
The child thatrsquos not there
Takes up every piece of me The child thatrsquos not there
Consumes my every thought The child thatrsquos not there Makes me feel like I failed The child thatrsquos not there
Took away a main reason for being But
The children that are there Still somehow bring me joy The children that are there
Still need my love The children that are there Donrsquot need any more grief The children that are there
Force me to go on
Tricia Palmer In memory of my son Gabriel Boyer
TCF Tidewater VA
August 2014 Page 6
Grief to Greatness Website Several of our members read this website daily The message is transition to hope after the death of a loved one httpgrieftogreatnesscomindexhtml
The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter PO Box 45 Barker TX 77413
August 2014 Massage Therapy for Grief Massage Therapy for Grief
In Memory of our Beloved Children Memorials Given by In Loving Memory of
Glen and Melinda Ginter John Robert Ginter Robin Conner Christopher amp Dawn Wilson Brenda Schmitt Matthew Schmitt Lee amp Sherrie Schurman Sandra Schurman Diets Family Mario Escareno Debbie Diamm Matthew Salveski Nesha Noland Brandon Noland Colleen Chamberlain Elizabeth Chamberlain Rinicella Family Alexis Theresa Rinicella Thank you for your donation to The Compassionate Friends Katy TX Chapter
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF Your voluntary tax deductible donations honor your loved one in a meaningful way by enabling us to print and mail this Newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching out to other grieving families Donations along with the name of the person being honored may be sent to
Lisa Leanard 13814 Wheatbridge Drive Houston TX 77041
Open Letter to Our Son On His Eighth Anniversary
Dear Robin You have been gone eight years and it still hurts very much that you are no longer with us I dread this time of year because it brings back memories of the manner of your passing what it was and how much we miss you It took a long time to try to come to terms with the fact that you were never coming back and that we would never hear your voice again We used to pass your room and be brought to tears when look-ing at the empty bed and the two pillows on which your head used to rest when you slept at night It is the anticipation of the anniversary that is more painful than the day itself and we cringe to feel so inadequate at the very thought of us not being able to remember you when we too go to our maker at the end of our days It is thanks to The Compassionate Friends that we have survived with some kind of sanity and are able to laugh again It has taken a lot of time and effort on the part of many others to bring us from the brink of heartbreak into some semblance of balance so that we can try to help others who are experiencing the same journey into the pit of grief Our major problem has been the fact that you were an only child and there was no other person to comfort and care for I often think about the fateful decision that we took not to have another child but in the cir-cumstances given the nature of your disease we did the best that we could and had the patience to deal with all the issues that were thrown at us We have learned many things during the last eight years that have helped us beyond belief and brought us to a sense of who we are Your father has had a very difficult time with his grief and only goes to the Candle Lighting Ceremony in December He finds it very difficult to talk about you without choking up and prefers to grieve privately I do not insist on his attending the meetings of the Compassionate Friends be-cause I realize that men and women grieve dif-ferently I go to the meetings because I know that I can help others who are newer in their grief and maybe I might give them a sense of hope that the journey gets easier one day So Robin we remember you with gratitude since you are a son who is a great sour of pride and your courage in the face of great odds made you a trailblazer We love you and miss you beyond measure
Neela Sen
In memory of my son Robin Sen TCF Katy TX
Loves Lasting Touch
Dont weep for me when Im gone Because Ill always be there
My spirit will exist in all the earth In the water trees and air
Youll hear me say I love you In the whisper of a breeze
Youll know that Im beside you With the rustling of the leaves Youll feel my arms caress you In the warmth of each sunrise
The moon will be my goodnight kiss The stars my watchful eyes Your life will be my legacy Your memories my epitaph
These ties will bind us together Till we meet on heavens path
Ill not ever desert you Well never be far apart Ill live within you always
Nestled deep inside your heart
Jacquelyn M Comeaux In Memory of My Angels
Michelle Jerry amp Danny Copyright 1994
Reprinted by permission of author
ldquoAs long as I can I will look at this world for both of us As long as I can I will fly with the birds I will sing with the flowers I will pray to the stars for both of ushelliprdquo ~Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 4
Add A Page To Our Chapterrsquos Memory Book
We encourage each of our members to add a page to our Chapter Mem-ory Bookhellipa page devoted to your child If you would like to include your child in this album the page size is 8 12 x 11 If you need help designing a page or putting your thoughts into written form contact Annette Baldwin
Check Out Our Library
Our TCF library has many books tapes CDs and DVDs for our members Each one has been carefully selected by a member of
our TCF Chapter The li-brary is available for brows-ing before during and after our monthly meeting Check-out is a snap We en-courage our members to use this wonderful resource
There is much from which to choose check it out at the next meeting
Compassionate Friends Webinars As bereaved parents we know that there are times when there are no words to describe the depths of our pain and devastation Especially during the holiday season we seek answers sol-ace and peace Check the Compassion-ate Friends website at wwwcompassionatefriendsorg click on news and events then search for Webinars Upcom-ing webinar events will be listed some dates will be listed When you see a webinar in which you would like to actively participate just click and register To view the archives of webinars pre-sented by The Compassionate Friends go to httpwwwcompassionatefriendsorgNews_EventsSpecial-EventsWebinars Whether you choose to participate or simply access the archives of webinars we encourage to try this format and see if it has a place in your grief toolbox
TCF E-Newsletter An E-Newsletter is available through the National TCF Organization To subscribe go to TCFrsquos National Web site home page (wwwcompassionatefriendsorg) and click on ldquoRegister for E-Newsletterrdquo link
Resources Available to Our Members Resources of all types are available to our members We include these in the monthly newsletter and strongly recommend that in
addition to Compassionate Friends newly bereaved parents avail themselves of one or more of the
many retreats programs etc that are available in the Houston area
Happy 30th Birthday Son
Papa 30 years ago I was blessed to have such an amazing gift in you Irsquom sure that God could have selected anyone to be your mother but He chose me What a blessed woman I was to have given birth to you a 6lbs 3oz bouncing baby boy From 1 to 5 you developed into a spirited little boy learning your way through mischief amp play From 6 to 10 you begin to grow bigger and taller with a hilarious sense of humor with a sunny smile that captivated not only your mama but the people around you F r o m 11 to 15 you begin to grow into your poetic personality
your handsomeness and of course your wittiness to woo the girls your way From 16 to 20 you begin to build upon your skills and talents to en-hance your creativity and love for mu-sic and football From 21 to 28 you find yourself stepping into the role of a man ex-
periencing the blessings of God as a son brother uncle and father the greatest gift in the journey of life
Though the Lord our God blessed you with 28 years wishing for two more could only be an extraordinary wish Though itrsquos hard to imagine life without you Papa knowing that you were my son has given me a long lasting feeling of
warmth and love For 28 years I have provided the candles on your cake I rest with peace knowing that our Father has 30 beautiful candles that await you on a day that was especially designed by His hands amp love for you On August 17th I will be in remembrance of the joy that God gave me in you Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr as I held you in my arms caressed your rosy cheeks and kissed your precious little red lips I love you my Son for this day and ALL of my tomorrows
Mama
Written by Diana Bell Mother of Melvin ldquoPapardquo Bell Jr
TCF Katy TX
Summerwind The one who owns this summer is not here not here to know the tender summerwind not here to share the glowing and the song The one who owns this summer did not live not live to touch the richness of this day this day in summer when you are alone Weep to the summerwind weep and love again The one you remember Sascha Wagner From the Poems of Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 5
Choosing Hope ldquoMy freedom is the light of hope that shines from deep within my soul as I now hold my child in my mind and heart For this mother hope is knowing that death does not restrict me from my childrsquos life Death changes only the plane of our relationship for I am his mother and he is my son We will love our children for all eternity That is the freedom in our harness that comes with consciously choosing hoperdquo
~From Choosing Hope Annette Mennen Baldwin
Resources for Bereaved Parents
Open to Hope Foundation
Open to Hope grew out of the death of our 17 year-old son and brother Scott who was killed in a car crash and is dedicated to his memory Our mission is to give a voice to grief and support those looking for hope This website and the broadcasts are done by Drs Heidi and Gloria Horsley and is a recommended re-source by the Compassionate Friends httpwwwopentohopecom West Houston Methodist Hospital Tailored programs such as Methodist Hospitalrsquos early evening gathering offer a different perspective on grief This is a great opportunity to learn about grief the process of grief and how it impacts your life This group is facilitated by the Spiri-tual Care Department staff and is open to all faiths and be liefs This group offers an opportunity to meet others find support and share experiences We invite you to attend Please call Craig Bradley 832-522-0013
Grief resources for bereaved parents siblings and grandparents httpwwwcenteringorg
HOPE
Helping Our Pain Ease is a seven week bereavment support group offered in the Sugar Land area This group is by registration only Please call Annette Bisanz at 281-980-1449 to register This group is led by a trained volunteer in the HOPE group process The group meets for seven consecutive Thursday eve-nings Call 281-980-1449 for registration and date information
Summer Memories
Summertime is a happy time for most people in this country vacations holidays family reunions relaxed days at the pool eve-nings in the backyard talking with family and friends the smell of a fresh rain the long days the cooling nights fresh mown grass and flowers that bloom profusely
Despite Houstonrsquos heat summer has become a treasured time for me My son was a child of summer Born in May he loved the sum-mer sun on his face and the wind in his hair as he first rode a tricycle then a bicycle then drove a car Those were wonderful times for him The summer solstice on June 21 was a favorite day for us both Since the summer solstice is the long-est day of the year Todd particularly loved to watch the sunrise and sunset I found myself doing that again this year As I looked at the sun directly overhead at noon (100 pm DST) I made the comment that this is the one perfectly balanced day of the year Later as I watched a beautiful solstice sunset I remarked to my husband about the lighthellipthe gorgeous light I was seeing Todd in that light He was laughing chasing lightening bugs running and spinning and turning filled with the joy of summer He was happy
I listened to the neighborsrsquo children playing and I thought about all the wonderful summer days I had spent with my son I am thankful that I had that time I am thankful that my child was a son of summer He found much joy in nature in the outdoors in activities that took him out of the ordinary and into the sublime
Thatrsquos how it is for bereaved parents We eventually come to a place where we realize that our joyful memories have overtaken the pain of the loss of our child to death We wouldnrsquot trade the time we shared with our children for anything or any other experience We have many relationships in our lives but the unique nature of the par-ent-child relationship is so special so deep so life changing that we endure and even embrace the pain because we had for that time in our lives a relationship of pure love and pure joy with our child There is no way to measure the depth width or volume of a parentrsquos love It exceeds every other human relationship Yes we miss them terribly We weep silently into our pillows at night We light candles take flow-ers to the cemetery wear their favorite colors treasure pictures of our children and keep them forever in our hearts This is a big part of life for every bereaved parent
Somehow on the summer solstice I felt my childrsquos presence in the light of the day and the beautiful rose color of the solstice sun-set I could hear his voice see his smile and feel his emotions Peace slips into our hearts in extraordinary ways
Annette Mennen Baldwin In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
The Child Who Is Not There
The child thatrsquos not there
Takes up every piece of me The child thatrsquos not there
Consumes my every thought The child thatrsquos not there Makes me feel like I failed The child thatrsquos not there
Took away a main reason for being But
The children that are there Still somehow bring me joy The children that are there
Still need my love The children that are there Donrsquot need any more grief The children that are there
Force me to go on
Tricia Palmer In memory of my son Gabriel Boyer
TCF Tidewater VA
August 2014 Page 6
Grief to Greatness Website Several of our members read this website daily The message is transition to hope after the death of a loved one httpgrieftogreatnesscomindexhtml
The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter PO Box 45 Barker TX 77413
August 2014 Massage Therapy for Grief Massage Therapy for Grief
In Memory of our Beloved Children Memorials Given by In Loving Memory of
Glen and Melinda Ginter John Robert Ginter Robin Conner Christopher amp Dawn Wilson Brenda Schmitt Matthew Schmitt Lee amp Sherrie Schurman Sandra Schurman Diets Family Mario Escareno Debbie Diamm Matthew Salveski Nesha Noland Brandon Noland Colleen Chamberlain Elizabeth Chamberlain Rinicella Family Alexis Theresa Rinicella Thank you for your donation to The Compassionate Friends Katy TX Chapter
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF Your voluntary tax deductible donations honor your loved one in a meaningful way by enabling us to print and mail this Newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching out to other grieving families Donations along with the name of the person being honored may be sent to
Lisa Leanard 13814 Wheatbridge Drive Houston TX 77041
Open Letter to Our Son On His Eighth Anniversary
Dear Robin You have been gone eight years and it still hurts very much that you are no longer with us I dread this time of year because it brings back memories of the manner of your passing what it was and how much we miss you It took a long time to try to come to terms with the fact that you were never coming back and that we would never hear your voice again We used to pass your room and be brought to tears when look-ing at the empty bed and the two pillows on which your head used to rest when you slept at night It is the anticipation of the anniversary that is more painful than the day itself and we cringe to feel so inadequate at the very thought of us not being able to remember you when we too go to our maker at the end of our days It is thanks to The Compassionate Friends that we have survived with some kind of sanity and are able to laugh again It has taken a lot of time and effort on the part of many others to bring us from the brink of heartbreak into some semblance of balance so that we can try to help others who are experiencing the same journey into the pit of grief Our major problem has been the fact that you were an only child and there was no other person to comfort and care for I often think about the fateful decision that we took not to have another child but in the cir-cumstances given the nature of your disease we did the best that we could and had the patience to deal with all the issues that were thrown at us We have learned many things during the last eight years that have helped us beyond belief and brought us to a sense of who we are Your father has had a very difficult time with his grief and only goes to the Candle Lighting Ceremony in December He finds it very difficult to talk about you without choking up and prefers to grieve privately I do not insist on his attending the meetings of the Compassionate Friends be-cause I realize that men and women grieve dif-ferently I go to the meetings because I know that I can help others who are newer in their grief and maybe I might give them a sense of hope that the journey gets easier one day So Robin we remember you with gratitude since you are a son who is a great sour of pride and your courage in the face of great odds made you a trailblazer We love you and miss you beyond measure
Neela Sen
In memory of my son Robin Sen TCF Katy TX
Loves Lasting Touch
Dont weep for me when Im gone Because Ill always be there
My spirit will exist in all the earth In the water trees and air
Youll hear me say I love you In the whisper of a breeze
Youll know that Im beside you With the rustling of the leaves Youll feel my arms caress you In the warmth of each sunrise
The moon will be my goodnight kiss The stars my watchful eyes Your life will be my legacy Your memories my epitaph
These ties will bind us together Till we meet on heavens path
Ill not ever desert you Well never be far apart Ill live within you always
Nestled deep inside your heart
Jacquelyn M Comeaux In Memory of My Angels
Michelle Jerry amp Danny Copyright 1994
Reprinted by permission of author
ldquoAs long as I can I will look at this world for both of us As long as I can I will fly with the birds I will sing with the flowers I will pray to the stars for both of ushelliprdquo ~Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 5
Choosing Hope ldquoMy freedom is the light of hope that shines from deep within my soul as I now hold my child in my mind and heart For this mother hope is knowing that death does not restrict me from my childrsquos life Death changes only the plane of our relationship for I am his mother and he is my son We will love our children for all eternity That is the freedom in our harness that comes with consciously choosing hoperdquo
~From Choosing Hope Annette Mennen Baldwin
Resources for Bereaved Parents
Open to Hope Foundation
Open to Hope grew out of the death of our 17 year-old son and brother Scott who was killed in a car crash and is dedicated to his memory Our mission is to give a voice to grief and support those looking for hope This website and the broadcasts are done by Drs Heidi and Gloria Horsley and is a recommended re-source by the Compassionate Friends httpwwwopentohopecom West Houston Methodist Hospital Tailored programs such as Methodist Hospitalrsquos early evening gathering offer a different perspective on grief This is a great opportunity to learn about grief the process of grief and how it impacts your life This group is facilitated by the Spiri-tual Care Department staff and is open to all faiths and be liefs This group offers an opportunity to meet others find support and share experiences We invite you to attend Please call Craig Bradley 832-522-0013
Grief resources for bereaved parents siblings and grandparents httpwwwcenteringorg
HOPE
Helping Our Pain Ease is a seven week bereavment support group offered in the Sugar Land area This group is by registration only Please call Annette Bisanz at 281-980-1449 to register This group is led by a trained volunteer in the HOPE group process The group meets for seven consecutive Thursday eve-nings Call 281-980-1449 for registration and date information
Summer Memories
Summertime is a happy time for most people in this country vacations holidays family reunions relaxed days at the pool eve-nings in the backyard talking with family and friends the smell of a fresh rain the long days the cooling nights fresh mown grass and flowers that bloom profusely
Despite Houstonrsquos heat summer has become a treasured time for me My son was a child of summer Born in May he loved the sum-mer sun on his face and the wind in his hair as he first rode a tricycle then a bicycle then drove a car Those were wonderful times for him The summer solstice on June 21 was a favorite day for us both Since the summer solstice is the long-est day of the year Todd particularly loved to watch the sunrise and sunset I found myself doing that again this year As I looked at the sun directly overhead at noon (100 pm DST) I made the comment that this is the one perfectly balanced day of the year Later as I watched a beautiful solstice sunset I remarked to my husband about the lighthellipthe gorgeous light I was seeing Todd in that light He was laughing chasing lightening bugs running and spinning and turning filled with the joy of summer He was happy
I listened to the neighborsrsquo children playing and I thought about all the wonderful summer days I had spent with my son I am thankful that I had that time I am thankful that my child was a son of summer He found much joy in nature in the outdoors in activities that took him out of the ordinary and into the sublime
Thatrsquos how it is for bereaved parents We eventually come to a place where we realize that our joyful memories have overtaken the pain of the loss of our child to death We wouldnrsquot trade the time we shared with our children for anything or any other experience We have many relationships in our lives but the unique nature of the par-ent-child relationship is so special so deep so life changing that we endure and even embrace the pain because we had for that time in our lives a relationship of pure love and pure joy with our child There is no way to measure the depth width or volume of a parentrsquos love It exceeds every other human relationship Yes we miss them terribly We weep silently into our pillows at night We light candles take flow-ers to the cemetery wear their favorite colors treasure pictures of our children and keep them forever in our hearts This is a big part of life for every bereaved parent
Somehow on the summer solstice I felt my childrsquos presence in the light of the day and the beautiful rose color of the solstice sun-set I could hear his voice see his smile and feel his emotions Peace slips into our hearts in extraordinary ways
Annette Mennen Baldwin In memory of my son Todd Mennen TCF Katy TX
The Child Who Is Not There
The child thatrsquos not there
Takes up every piece of me The child thatrsquos not there
Consumes my every thought The child thatrsquos not there Makes me feel like I failed The child thatrsquos not there
Took away a main reason for being But
The children that are there Still somehow bring me joy The children that are there
Still need my love The children that are there Donrsquot need any more grief The children that are there
Force me to go on
Tricia Palmer In memory of my son Gabriel Boyer
TCF Tidewater VA
August 2014 Page 6
Grief to Greatness Website Several of our members read this website daily The message is transition to hope after the death of a loved one httpgrieftogreatnesscomindexhtml
The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter PO Box 45 Barker TX 77413
August 2014 Massage Therapy for Grief Massage Therapy for Grief
In Memory of our Beloved Children Memorials Given by In Loving Memory of
Glen and Melinda Ginter John Robert Ginter Robin Conner Christopher amp Dawn Wilson Brenda Schmitt Matthew Schmitt Lee amp Sherrie Schurman Sandra Schurman Diets Family Mario Escareno Debbie Diamm Matthew Salveski Nesha Noland Brandon Noland Colleen Chamberlain Elizabeth Chamberlain Rinicella Family Alexis Theresa Rinicella Thank you for your donation to The Compassionate Friends Katy TX Chapter
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF Your voluntary tax deductible donations honor your loved one in a meaningful way by enabling us to print and mail this Newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching out to other grieving families Donations along with the name of the person being honored may be sent to
Lisa Leanard 13814 Wheatbridge Drive Houston TX 77041
Open Letter to Our Son On His Eighth Anniversary
Dear Robin You have been gone eight years and it still hurts very much that you are no longer with us I dread this time of year because it brings back memories of the manner of your passing what it was and how much we miss you It took a long time to try to come to terms with the fact that you were never coming back and that we would never hear your voice again We used to pass your room and be brought to tears when look-ing at the empty bed and the two pillows on which your head used to rest when you slept at night It is the anticipation of the anniversary that is more painful than the day itself and we cringe to feel so inadequate at the very thought of us not being able to remember you when we too go to our maker at the end of our days It is thanks to The Compassionate Friends that we have survived with some kind of sanity and are able to laugh again It has taken a lot of time and effort on the part of many others to bring us from the brink of heartbreak into some semblance of balance so that we can try to help others who are experiencing the same journey into the pit of grief Our major problem has been the fact that you were an only child and there was no other person to comfort and care for I often think about the fateful decision that we took not to have another child but in the cir-cumstances given the nature of your disease we did the best that we could and had the patience to deal with all the issues that were thrown at us We have learned many things during the last eight years that have helped us beyond belief and brought us to a sense of who we are Your father has had a very difficult time with his grief and only goes to the Candle Lighting Ceremony in December He finds it very difficult to talk about you without choking up and prefers to grieve privately I do not insist on his attending the meetings of the Compassionate Friends be-cause I realize that men and women grieve dif-ferently I go to the meetings because I know that I can help others who are newer in their grief and maybe I might give them a sense of hope that the journey gets easier one day So Robin we remember you with gratitude since you are a son who is a great sour of pride and your courage in the face of great odds made you a trailblazer We love you and miss you beyond measure
Neela Sen
In memory of my son Robin Sen TCF Katy TX
Loves Lasting Touch
Dont weep for me when Im gone Because Ill always be there
My spirit will exist in all the earth In the water trees and air
Youll hear me say I love you In the whisper of a breeze
Youll know that Im beside you With the rustling of the leaves Youll feel my arms caress you In the warmth of each sunrise
The moon will be my goodnight kiss The stars my watchful eyes Your life will be my legacy Your memories my epitaph
These ties will bind us together Till we meet on heavens path
Ill not ever desert you Well never be far apart Ill live within you always
Nestled deep inside your heart
Jacquelyn M Comeaux In Memory of My Angels
Michelle Jerry amp Danny Copyright 1994
Reprinted by permission of author
ldquoAs long as I can I will look at this world for both of us As long as I can I will fly with the birds I will sing with the flowers I will pray to the stars for both of ushelliprdquo ~Sascha Wagner
August 2014 Page 6
Grief to Greatness Website Several of our members read this website daily The message is transition to hope after the death of a loved one httpgrieftogreatnesscomindexhtml
The Compassionate Friends Katy Chapter PO Box 45 Barker TX 77413
August 2014 Massage Therapy for Grief Massage Therapy for Grief
In Memory of our Beloved Children Memorials Given by In Loving Memory of
Glen and Melinda Ginter John Robert Ginter Robin Conner Christopher amp Dawn Wilson Brenda Schmitt Matthew Schmitt Lee amp Sherrie Schurman Sandra Schurman Diets Family Mario Escareno Debbie Diamm Matthew Salveski Nesha Noland Brandon Noland Colleen Chamberlain Elizabeth Chamberlain Rinicella Family Alexis Theresa Rinicella Thank you for your donation to The Compassionate Friends Katy TX Chapter
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF Your voluntary tax deductible donations honor your loved one in a meaningful way by enabling us to print and mail this Newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching out to other grieving families Donations along with the name of the person being honored may be sent to
Lisa Leanard 13814 Wheatbridge Drive Houston TX 77041
Open Letter to Our Son On His Eighth Anniversary
Dear Robin You have been gone eight years and it still hurts very much that you are no longer with us I dread this time of year because it brings back memories of the manner of your passing what it was and how much we miss you It took a long time to try to come to terms with the fact that you were never coming back and that we would never hear your voice again We used to pass your room and be brought to tears when look-ing at the empty bed and the two pillows on which your head used to rest when you slept at night It is the anticipation of the anniversary that is more painful than the day itself and we cringe to feel so inadequate at the very thought of us not being able to remember you when we too go to our maker at the end of our days It is thanks to The Compassionate Friends that we have survived with some kind of sanity and are able to laugh again It has taken a lot of time and effort on the part of many others to bring us from the brink of heartbreak into some semblance of balance so that we can try to help others who are experiencing the same journey into the pit of grief Our major problem has been the fact that you were an only child and there was no other person to comfort and care for I often think about the fateful decision that we took not to have another child but in the cir-cumstances given the nature of your disease we did the best that we could and had the patience to deal with all the issues that were thrown at us We have learned many things during the last eight years that have helped us beyond belief and brought us to a sense of who we are Your father has had a very difficult time with his grief and only goes to the Candle Lighting Ceremony in December He finds it very difficult to talk about you without choking up and prefers to grieve privately I do not insist on his attending the meetings of the Compassionate Friends be-cause I realize that men and women grieve dif-ferently I go to the meetings because I know that I can help others who are newer in their grief and maybe I might give them a sense of hope that the journey gets easier one day So Robin we remember you with gratitude since you are a son who is a great sour of pride and your courage in the face of great odds made you a trailblazer We love you and miss you beyond measure
Neela Sen
In memory of my son Robin Sen TCF Katy TX
Loves Lasting Touch
Dont weep for me when Im gone Because Ill always be there
My spirit will exist in all the earth In the water trees and air
Youll hear me say I love you In the whisper of a breeze
Youll know that Im beside you With the rustling of the leaves Youll feel my arms caress you In the warmth of each sunrise
The moon will be my goodnight kiss The stars my watchful eyes Your life will be my legacy Your memories my epitaph
These ties will bind us together Till we meet on heavens path
Ill not ever desert you Well never be far apart Ill live within you always
Nestled deep inside your heart
Jacquelyn M Comeaux In Memory of My Angels
Michelle Jerry amp Danny Copyright 1994
Reprinted by permission of author
ldquoAs long as I can I will look at this world for both of us As long as I can I will fly with the birds I will sing with the flowers I will pray to the stars for both of ushelliprdquo ~Sascha Wagner
![Page 1: Welcome [compassionatefriends-katy.org]compassionatefriends-katy.org/Katy Chapter Newsletters/TCF_Katy... · Katy, TX 77450 John Burns Building, East side of church Program: The Benefits](https://reader035.documents.pub/reader035/viewer/2022062506/5f01bb777e708231d400c527/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
![Page 2: Welcome [compassionatefriends-katy.org]compassionatefriends-katy.org/Katy Chapter Newsletters/TCF_Katy... · Katy, TX 77450 John Burns Building, East side of church Program: The Benefits](https://reader035.documents.pub/reader035/viewer/2022062506/5f01bb777e708231d400c527/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
![Page 3: Welcome [compassionatefriends-katy.org]compassionatefriends-katy.org/Katy Chapter Newsletters/TCF_Katy... · Katy, TX 77450 John Burns Building, East side of church Program: The Benefits](https://reader035.documents.pub/reader035/viewer/2022062506/5f01bb777e708231d400c527/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
![Page 4: Welcome [compassionatefriends-katy.org]compassionatefriends-katy.org/Katy Chapter Newsletters/TCF_Katy... · Katy, TX 77450 John Burns Building, East side of church Program: The Benefits](https://reader035.documents.pub/reader035/viewer/2022062506/5f01bb777e708231d400c527/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
![Page 5: Welcome [compassionatefriends-katy.org]compassionatefriends-katy.org/Katy Chapter Newsletters/TCF_Katy... · Katy, TX 77450 John Burns Building, East side of church Program: The Benefits](https://reader035.documents.pub/reader035/viewer/2022062506/5f01bb777e708231d400c527/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
![Page 6: Welcome [compassionatefriends-katy.org]compassionatefriends-katy.org/Katy Chapter Newsletters/TCF_Katy... · Katy, TX 77450 John Burns Building, East side of church Program: The Benefits](https://reader035.documents.pub/reader035/viewer/2022062506/5f01bb777e708231d400c527/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
