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Power Struggles: How to Avoid Them…

and How to Win

Jonathan S. Mitchell, MA, LPC

A situation where

two or more people or organizations compete for influence.

Definition

How to Avoid Them…

Awareness is curative

Be Aware!

“We are really fighting each other here, huh?”

“Neither one of us is budging on this.”

Name What is Obvious

Both for myself and other

Outside support?

What Is Really Going On?

Who is more invested?

If I am more attached to the outcome than the other, I am close to “losing.”

It Takes Two

Be clear and take ownership within one’s role

(e.g., as parent, caregiver, supervisor)

Humility

Apologize?

“I” Statements

Make oneself available

Connection Within Boundary

Inquire

Reflect

Within Boundary

Question, Validate, Boundary

Perhaps even compromises?

This breeds a sense of empowerment and also builds connection.

What is Negotiable?

Allow the space for natural consequences

Let the fodder grow…

Pick Your Battles

Which means “reliable”

Clear consequences ahead of time

And this inspires trust…thus openness…thus connection…

Be Consistent

…and How to Win

I win!

If I relate to someone because I want to “win”

then I have already “lost.”

There is no connection within a power struggle.

Therefore, the question is then how do I make myself and “other” feel powerful so that the “struggle” dissolves.

Paradigm Shift

The best way I have found to do this is to

redefine “power” as “value.”

How can I bring the most amount of value to within the relationship that is playing out.

For most of us who have been unable to break the pattern, it takes making a conscious effort to bring value into the relationship.

Paradigm Shift

Thank you!

Your participation speaks volumes to the dedication and love you have for yourself and your families..

Contact Information: jonathan@openskywilderness.com

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