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WhoisTalkingtoWhom?
JamesLow
Atalkgiventopsychotherapytrainees
London,15November2011
TranscribedbyAmandaLebus
EditedbyJamesLow
JameshasarticlesaboutCATinthepublicationsbelow.
CognitiveAnalyticTherapybyAnthonyRyleandJamesLow.Chapter7inComprehensivehandbookofpsychotherapyintegrationeditedbyGeorgeStrickerandJeroldR.Gold(NewYork:PlenumPress,c1993)CanbereadonGoogleBooksCognitiveAnalyticTherapybyJamesLow.Chapter5:24inTheSageHandbookofCounsellingandPsychotherapy.EditedbyColinFelthamandIanHorton,(London,SagePubn,2006)2nded.
Therearetwointerweavingtopicstoconsiderhere.Thefirstisthenatureofsubjectivityfromthe
pointofviewofCAT(CognitiveAnalyticTherapy),andthesecond is the impactofmindfulnesson
oursubjectivity.
TheNatureofSubjectivity
Whenwe are sitting in the roomwith someone,we have the sense thatwe are there and so is
somebodyelse.Itseemsobvious,welookaroundtheroomandweseeaperson.Wecansensein
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manyways, including the shapeof thebody, that there is an integrity to theperson. Just as the
physicalskinenvelopesusandseemstoseparateusfromtheenvironment,wealsoseemtohavea
psychological skin,whichhas a similar function. In CATwe thinkof that skin as being somewhat
permeable,sometimestoopermeable,andwealsothinkofitashavingparticularkindsofcontents.
Justasthebodyhasheartandlungs,liverandsoon,sothepsychologicalskincontainsself‐statesor
aspectswhichbothconstitutethe‘self’andappeartobepartsofit.Theseself‐statesaresystemsof
communication located within a meta system commonly called the ‘self’. These systems are all
nichedwithinothersystemsandcontactbetweensystems iswhat iscalledcommunication. From
thispointofviewtherearenofixedentitiesintheworld,onlysystemsincommunicationwitheach
other. The edge of any phenomena is actually quite a contoured surface that is in dynamic
communicationwithwhat’sgoingonaroundit.Evenobjectsthatseemstableandrigid,forexample
thecutedgeofadiamond,ifputunderanelectronmicroscopearerevealedtohaveapermeable,
dynamic surface. Thus on a subtle level there are no clear boundaries dividing one ‘thing’ from
another; all phenomena, including ourselves, are communication, the sending and receiving of
pulsationsofenergy.
Oursocietycurrentlyisverytiltedinthedirectionoftheautonomousindividualandthereisagreat
pressureonustobeabletoassertourselves,knowingwhoweareandwhatwewant.Thismaywell
be a reaction to the chaos of two world wars and the sense that a personal identity based on
nationalism or ideology is likely to lead us into dark places. Yet of course we are influenced by
fashions in clothing,eating, thinking, feeling, sensing. As individualsweare constantly influenced
by,andinfluencing,whatisgoingonaroundus.Weareparticipantsin,andas,theflowoftime.We
extendourselvesintime,andthatextensionisalwaysadisplacementtowardssomethingwhichcan
neverbearrivedat. Thatistosay,we’realwaysheadingforafuturethatneveroccursforweare
always,andonly,inthepresent.
Ourexperienceisalwaysinthepresentbutourconceptsofpastandfuturecreatetheillusionthat
theyare likeplaceswecanvisit andeven inhabit. This iswherewe findourselves strungacross
time. Witha senseofhavingapast,wecan ‘remember’ourchildhood,butwecan’tactuallyget
backtoit.Weseemtomovetowardsafuture,yetitwillneverarrive,becausewhateverweimagine
ourfuturewillbe,somethingelsealwaysturnsup. Andwhatofthepresent? Perhapsthedirect,
immediate present is actually a rare experience for us, since when we are not caught up in the
fantasies of past and futurewe are busy interpretingwhat is currently occurring. That iswe tell
ourselveswhatweareexperiencingandsogetinthewayofreceivingoptimalcontactwithourlived
environments,both‘external’and‘internal’.
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Theaspectsofourselves,ourself‐states,eachseemtoexistinsidetheirownskin,butwithvarying
degreesofpermeability. Eachsub‐systemisnichedinsideabiggersystem,whichis inturnniched
insideabiggersystemandabiggersystem,forallsystemsareniched. This indicatesthatwetake
ourplaceinsidetheworldthatisrevealedtousaccordingtothelevelofmagnificationthatweare
currentlyconcernedwith.Forexample,ifyou’reinanairplaneflyingtoAsiainthedaytimeyoucan
seethatyouarepassingovermanydifferentcountries.Youdon’tlandinthesecountries,butyou’re
aware, ‘Nowwe’regoingacrossFrance,nowGermany’andsoon. In that traversingof thespace
aboveeachcountry,youdon’texperienceenmeshmentinanyoftheparticularitiesoftheseplaces,
for, in that situation, theyexist simplyasaconcept. If theplanestops to refuel,yougetoutand
then you’re aware that you’re somewhere in particular; the signs are in a language youprobably
don’tunderstand,peoplearewearingkindsofdress that youyourselfmightnotwearand soon.
Thusthe levelofmagnificationofourgazeorattention introducesyoutoqualitiesofsimplicityor
complexity,abstractionordetail.
If you think of a person, they have a name and some simplemarkers of their story, for example
beingborninaparticularcountryataparticulartime,doingaparticularjob,withthisorthatkindof
afamily.Onthatlevel,peoplecanbesummedupquiteeasily.Howeverwhenyoustartlookinginto
the self‐states which operate within and as that person, description becomes more complicated
becausetheseself‐statesarenotenduringaspermanentexpressionsoftheperson;rathertheyare
aflexiblerepertoireofmoves,whicharevariouslyconstellatedbytransientevents.Theaspectsof
theseevents that trigger a change in self‐statemayormaynotbeevident to theperson. Inour
lives, a lotof the timewe findourselves involved in somethingandwedon’t knowwhy. Weare
interestedinsomeone,wedon’treallyknowwhy,orwe’renotinterestedinsomeoneandwedon’t
reallyknowwhy.
We also experience this with our patients. We may have some knowledge of the explanatory
conceptsoftransferenceandcountertransference.Thesetermsdescribeparticularwaysofreading
what is goingon in the consulting room. The reading is an interpretation, aprojectionon to the
situationofamotifthatorganizesourexperienceintoapatternthatmakessensetous.Thusyou
mightfeelverybenign,youmightfeelonthesideofyourpatientandwanttodoalottohelpthem,
oryoumightnot.Somethingisbeingconstellatedbetweenyou,butbywhat?Wefindourselvesin
that particularmood, in that particular availability or non‐availability. It’s not usually a conscious
decision.Especiallywhenyou’retrainingtobeatherapist,itcanbequitedisconcertingbecauseyou
haveanideathatyouwanttohelppeople.Youarelearningsomuchinordertobeincontactwith
people,andyet,somekindofantipathyarises,somekindof turningaway,what is that? Youcan
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thinkaboutitonthelevelofsomethingoccurringbetweenpeople,butactuallyit’sverycomplicated
because there are many, many self‐states in the patient, and there are many self‐states in the
therapist.
When twopeoplemeet, their self‐state systemsmeet. Wedon’t knowwhich of these particular
self‐states are going to come forwardandact as a kindof calling card that can influenceor even
determine our sense ofwho that person ‘is’. Something is going onwhich can bemoppedup by
applying the analytic discourse of transference and countertransference, relating the occurrence
back to some childhood event. The event becomes a template which is situationally evoked,
appearingasare‐stagingoftheoriginalevent.Thiskindofexplanationallowsasenseofmeaning,
order, reliability to be gained by the therapist. However with the notion of self‐states, the
interpretativeunderstanding is not in termsof the transferenceof apast eventbut ratherof the
rangeof the repertoireof the individual’s self‐aspects and the factorswhich elicit their particular
appearanceanddisappearancewithallthevariationsofintensity,appropriatenessandsoon.
Wemaythinkthatourjobistogainsomeclarityaboutwhatoccurs,andthereforeweshouldthink
aboutourselves, reflectonwhatwedo,andbecome reflectivepractitioners. This carriesa sense
thatwecankeepaneyeonwhatisgoingon.Canwereallymaintainclarityandnotgetlost?Isthis
achievable,or is ithubris? This isaveryoldquestion. Forexample, ifapersongoestoaCatholic
church,astheyentertheycometoacontainerofholywater,andthenalongthesideofthechurch
therearesomelittlecubiclesforconfession.Thepersonentersintheirusualstate,ofP,fortheyare
profane.Withthefirstlittlesplashofholywatertheybecomealittlelessprofane,theyarenowP‐1.
TheyentertheconfessionalwhereinsecretisMr.Sacred.P‐1goesinthereandwhenhecomesout
heisP‐2,maybeevenalmostnoPatall.
Afterconfessionthisperson,P‐2,attendsthemass,sittingatthefrontandwatchingthepriest,the
sacred, consecrated officiant perform the ritual which reveals the miracle of the Eucharist. The
sacredofficiantevokes thegreatsacred,S++++,andthenP‐2 isable topartakeof this, so that, in
thatmomentofreceivingthebreadandwine,thefleshandtheblood,withfullbelief,theprofane,
the lost, the unholy is dissolved and P‐2 is now fresh, freed, purified of limitation, restored to
wholeness,healedandrestoredtocommunionwiththedivine.
However,thistransformationdoesn’toccurjustonceinlife.Whyisthat?Becausepeoplefallback
intosinfulness.Whyisthat?IsittogiveMr.Sacredajob?Becauseifitonlyhappenedoncewhat
wouldtheydowiththerestoftheirtime?Perhapsitisbecausewefinditveryhardtoavoidslipping
backintooldpatterns.Oursenseofidentityisbasedonhabits,onrelianceonfamiliarsignifiersand
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signifieds.Thisleadstoanongoingpulsationbetweenintentionalchangeandmindlessrelapse.Thus
the churchor the consulting roombecomes a spiritual or psychological dialysismachine. Because
thepsycho‐spiritualkidneysarenotworking,thetoxinshavetobeflushedoutagainandagain.
This relates to the new conclusion that was reached in the 1950’s about the nature of
countertransference.Upuntilthattime,therewasthebeliefthatifyouhadenoughanalysis,allthe
toxinswouldbepermanentlyremovedandyouwouldbeinastateofgrace,astateofclarity.Butin
the1950’sbravepeople likePaulaHeinemannsaid,“No, I’vehada lotofanalysisandIhavebeen
practicingforalongtimebeendoingitalongtimeandactuallyIstillhavestrongreactionsthatIget
lostin.”Thenpeoplestartedtocomeoutoftheclosetandsay,“Ialsogetlost”,“Iamalsoproneto
gettinglost...I’mfoundandthenI’mlost.”
This is similar to the church experience, in which the sacred and the profane are in on‐going
conversation. Thepossibilityofregenerationorrebirthmightbeseenasan infinite, transcendent
movementwhichcouldbehere,now,complete,forever,orcouldbeseenasahorizontalpulsation
of progression/regression that never ends. Perhaps these two views have to be held
simultaneously.Inthehopeoftheresurrection,butlivinginafallenworld;thisisthebasisofmost
psychotherapy.Boththepriestandthetherapisthavetoactasiftheyaresorted,clear,abovethe
flowofcomplex involvementthatconstituteseveryday life. Theyaretheonessupposedtoknow,
theoneswhoappeartohavearrived. Iftheybelievethisofthemselvestheyfallpreytohubris; if
theycan’tletothersbelieveittheydiminishtheircapacitytohelpandheal.
In spiteof themselvespeople find themselves fallingback intoa lost state. Whenthey’re in their
observingself,whenthey’rereflectingon“WhoamI?WhatdidIgetcaughtupin?Ah…whydidIdo
that?Ah,nowIsee,I’mnotgoingtodothatanymore!”greatdecisionscanstillbemade.Andyet,
the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Why is the flesh weak? Because it has very poor
communication.Thatistosay,the‘sites’withinusofrationalconsciousintentionandthe‘sites’of
habitual,oftenwilful,impulsivebehaviourareoftennottalkingtoeachother.Theymanifestserially
i.e. bad action followed by guilty reflection, rather than all being brought together in open
communication.Lifeasapraxis,apractice, requiresbeingpresent in themoment rather than the
formulationofgrandplansthatareneverquiteimplemented.
Jesus says, “Forgive themFather, they knownotwhat theydo”, andwe therapists say something
similar toourpatientsabout their self‐states. Wesay,“Don’tget tooupsetwith theseaspectsof
yourselfandofthepeopleyouencounter.Regardingothers,theywilldowhattheydo.Youhaveto
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bethegoodshepherdofyourownself‐states.”Ihopethisisn’ttootheological,butIthinkit’suseful
asametaphor.
Sohowdoyoubecomeagoodshepherdofyourself? First,youhavetoknowthatsheepget lost.
Sheeparenotanimalsyoucantrainveryeasily;theywillgetlost.Thenalsoyouhavetoknowthat
outthere,therearewolves.Paradoxically,ifyouknowthesetworatherscarythings,lifecanstartto
get better. You start to develop a phenomenological attention; you start to look at the world
aroundyouandseeitwithouteditingorprojectingsomuchontoit.Whenyoumeetsomeoneyou
firstcheckiftheyareawolfinsheep’sclothing.Peoplemaywellpresentthemselvesasbeingnice;
yourresponsibilityistocheckthemoutandnotbetakeninbyappearances,forwhatyouseeisnot
the whole story. Moreover we may think that our own self‐states are like sheep, but to other
people’sself‐states,theymightappearlikewolves.
Weareallblindtoourowncomplexity,andthesecomplexpatterns,inhavingalifeoftheirown,do
unintendedbutuntolddamagetootherpeopleandtoourselves. It’snotthatwe,ormostpeople,
arewilfully bad, butwe find ourselvesmis‐attuningwith people, promising thingswe can’t fulfil,
gettingconfused invariousways. Doesblaminghelp? Does itpromoteuseful change? Religious
traditionshaveoftenusedasuper‐egovoice todirect, correctandcastigate. So ismoralisingany
useintherapy?Moralisingusedtobethoughtofasoneofthekeywaysofkeepingpeopleonthe
straightandnarrow.Thisattitudewouldbeinthesermonsinchurch.InmanyoldchurchestheTen
Commandmentswerepaintedonthewall. Therewasasensethatthesearetheprinciplesof life,
and if youhumblyattend to them theywillwrap themselvesaroundyouandgiveyoua senseof
purposeanddirection.
Since many people have abandoned that attitude, or since our culture has fallen into disarray
aroundthesenseofhavinganyguidingstorylikethat,howcanwestayontrackwithoutaguiding
meta‐narrative?Indeedisthereatracktostayon?Thispointstothefunctionoftheobservingself.
Theobservingself looksinside, looksattheenvironment, looksintomemory,looksintohope,and
triestokeepasenseofdirectionandbalance.Butwhatisthecompassturnedtowards?Howshall
welive?Whowillgiveusguidanceaswewanderinthewilderness?Canwefindthisresourceinside
ourselves?Canwetrustthevoicesofourself‐states?Theobservingselfisthecapacitytosee,asfar
aspossible,theintegratedfieldofexperience,allthatisgoingonmoment‐by‐moment.Itisnotjust
a witness but a participant observer, and this requires a high degree of self‐reflectivity and self‐
reflexivity.Therearemanywaysinwhichwelosethislevelofclarity.Twocommononesaretobe
toofaronthesideofparticipatingsothatonegetscaughtupintheflowofactivitywithoutseeing
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what is going on. Or to be too far on the side of observing so that one merely notes what is
occurringandmissesthevitalmomentofeffectiveparticipation.
Weneedtolookatourselvesandfindoutwhatarethefactorsthathelpustomaintainasenseof
balance. What supports our ethical intention? Is awareness enough or do we need rules and
principles to apply? Ifwe apply rules andprinciples is this largely ameans todealwithourown
anxiety?Certainly,theimpoverishedareathatourclinicisin,hostsacultureofdeprivationinevery
aspectoflife.Ourpatientsoftenhaveverylittlesenseofhowtoliveafulllife.Yetwhoistodecide
whata ‘full file’ is? So,arewedoingthemaviolencebyrecruitingthemintoamoralizingkindof
thinking,orareweofferingthemadevelopmentallyneededresourcetogivethemabitofaspineto
keepthemerect,sothattheycanseemore?Ifyou’returnedinonyourself,youdon’tactuallysee
verymuch.Onlywhenthespinekeepstheheadupcantheworldberevealed.Yetcanweborrow
another’s psychological spine or does that further alienate us from ourselves? Perhaps such
borrowingcanatbestprovideascaffoldingwithinwhich,throughourowneffortandstruggle,we
canfindawaytobepresentintheworldasitis,asitrevealsitselftousasweuniquelyare.
Thispointstooneofthethingswe’reverymuchconcernedabout:whoisspeakingtowhom?When
wespeak,whatisspeakingthroughus?Isitthedevil?Isitsomethingdivine?Isitourpast?Isit
our mother? Our father? Is it an introject? Is it something abject? Something covered over?
Something debased? These are central questions for us all, because they concern the issue of
whetherIcantrustmyself.
A key idea in theprotestant revolutionwas the idea that there shouldbenomediationbetween
manandGod, for themediators confuseusas to theworkweeachmustdo. If you remove the
mediators,thepriests,theintercessionofthesaintsandsoon,theneachpersonwillstandbefore
God, responsible for their own existence and therefore free to choose between life and death.
Otherwise you have a systemwhich envelops someone from birth to the grave, giving guidance
alongtheway,sayingthatifyoualignyourselfwiththissystem,you’llbealright.Thisisatrain;take
yourseat;refreshmentswillbeserved.Youcangoeveryday;ifyoulikeyoucanevengotwiceaday.
there’salwaysamassgoingon!TherearemoremassesinLondonthanAAmeetings.
Ifwe say, “It is up to you to find yourway” is that an abandonmentof the individual in the very
momentthattheyaregivenfreedom?InCATthereisbothstructureandfreedom;thestructureis
thereintheveryserviceoffreedom.Howevertheindividualisinfactdivided,multiple,andifthere
ispoorcommunicationbetweentheseparts, iftheyarequasi‐autonomouszones,thenthere isno
person standing nakedly alone, able to see who they are. Rather there is incredible complexity
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outside,andalotofcomplexityandpoorcommunicationinside,andavery,verythinskinofrational
thoughtmediatingtheinteractionsofthesedynamicspheres.
Evenifyouareluckyenoughtohavesecureattachment–whichwouldbeawayofsayingthatyou
aresettledinyourownskin,inyourownbody,thefrontallobesareabletooperate,you’vegotthe
optimal possibility of rational perusal of options and the capacity for reflective integration of
experience–canyouactuallyknowinthemomentoftheirarising,whattheseaspectsofyourself
are?Canrationalthoughtprovidetheanswertothat?Doweneedsomeoneelsetoshowuswhat
weareupto? Ifwe integratethefunctionofthegoodobject,dowedevelopahigherordersplit
that helps us keep an eye on ourselves, tomanage ourselves? If so, then healthwould come to
meantheoppositeofwholeness. Tobehealthywouldbetoabideinadynamictensionbetween
freedomofexpressionandthemonitoringofthatexpressionincaseitledusastray.
HowcanIhelpapersonbehealthy,especiallyifIdon’tbelievethattheirnotionofbeinghealthyis
realhealth?DoIhavetodeconstructtheirvisionofwhatafull lifewouldbeandconvertthemin
somewaytomywayofthinking?Isthataviolence?Isthatanunderminingoftheirrighttochoose
theirownqualityofexistence?Orisitethical,inapaternalistickindofway,tosay,“Actually,they
areunabletochoosebecausetheyhavenotbeenresourced. Wehavetogivethemthechanceto
develop themselves by showing them theway. Thenmore of the energy of life, the libido, can be
released from the intense compression of their encapsulated self‐states and brought into the
observing self to enhance over‐all clarity”. Is that an attack on the person’s structure? Should
peoplebefreetoleadwhateverkindoflifetheywant?
Increasingly inpsychotherapy,aspracticedintheNHS,tobe‘professional’ istoactas ifyouknow
whatanotherpersonneeds.Itisaclaimtoaspecialandprivilegedformofknowingwhichleadsto
power and entitlement, including the entitlement to diagnose another human being, with the
confidencethatyouarehelpingthembyinsertingtheminareductivecategorisation.Howcanwe
knowwhatsomeoneneeds?Well,ifyougivethemadiagnosis,thenyoucanknow.That’swhata
diagnosis is for. The diagnosis is an abstract statement about someone, which then becomes a
summationoftheirsituation,whichthenbecomesthebasisofthe‘treatment’theyreceive.
Inlookingatthehistoryofracism,sexismandsoon,wecanseethesameprinciplesbeingapplied.
You take an abstract identification such as ‘black’ or ‘gay’, add your own values to it, and then
imaginethatbecauseyouknowthataboutaperson,youknoweverythingaboutthem.Thatseems
verydangerous territory, yetwedoexactly thatwhenwe say,“This isaBorderline”. In theCAT
model,webelievewehaveaverygoodmethodfortreating‘Borderlines’,i.e.peoplewithBorderline
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PersonalityDisorder.Yetwhatdoesthismean?Primarilyitisyetanotherwayinwhichweappease
our desire for simplicity in a complex world. Nobody is going to do well in politics if they say
“Everythingisvery,verycomplicated,andIthinkthebestthingtodoistobuysomeKleenexandto
haveagoodcry,andthentalktoyourfriendsbecausethefuturewillnotbeanybetter.Pleasevote
forme!”That’snotgoingtoworkatall.Youhavetosay,“Lifecanbebetter,lifecanbesimple”.
So, inour therapyhere,we’redoing that,we’re tellingpeople, “We canmake life better for you.
We’regoing todo itbyabstraction. We’regoing toabstract your senseofwhoyouare from the
livedcomplexityofyourimpulses,yourhistory,yourbeliefssothatyoucancometoseeyourselfasa
potential,asacapacitytorespond,ratherthanasjustthesameoldstory.Divestingthisinvestment
thatyouhaveinfamiliarlimitedpatterns,youcanbefreetoinvestmoreinthebeliefsandactivities
thatwillbebetterforyou”.Thisisastatementofbelief;thisisourcreed.Thisishowwebelongin
the holy church of CAT. If you’re in the holy church of Gestalt, you say some other dogma, or if
you’re a psychoanalyst you say something different, and a Kleinian and a Freudian will say
something different, if you follow Kohut, you’ll say something different. That is to say, we’re all
sellingsomething.
Returning to thequestion, “Who is speaking towhom?”wemight come to see thatwe areboth
humanbeingswho are quite complicated, and a bit divided against ourselves. We’re not always
clearaboutwhoweareorwhatwe’reupto,andyetwehavetoactwithadegreeofauthority.If
youhavechildren,youhavetobeclearwiththem;youhavetosay,
—“Uhu,no,wedon’tdothis.”—“Ah,butwhenIwenttoJohnny’shouse,they….”—“If you like Johnny’s house so much, please go! You have 10 minutes to empty yourbedroom,andyourpocketmoney’sstopped!Inthishousewedoitthisway.”—“Why?”—“Because.”—“Why?”—“Because,intheend,Isayso.”
Italwayscomesdowntorawpowerandthat’sveryimportanttoknow,becausethere’snoendto
theconversationaboutwhy.Whatisthebasisfortheauthorityofthetherapist?Ifyouareafallen
person,howcanyouactasifyouarenot?
How do we find the courage to speak with some clarity, while knowing that we ourselves are
confused? Howcanyoumaketransference interpretationswhenyou’reawarethattheverybasis
out of which interpretation is made, is mixed up with, or contaminated by, countertransference
feelings?That’sverydifficult,andyetyouhavetospeakwithadegreeofconfidence. Theparent
hastogivethechildasenseofasimplicitywhichdoesn’treallyexist,andwe’redoingthesamewith
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thepatient. To imaginethateachsessionisaconversationbetweenequals istobedeludedasto
the impactof thestructuraldifferences inpower.Theparent‐child imagemaybeunsettlingbut it
speaksofourfirstexperienceofhavinglesspowerthananother—andoftheseductiveurgetogain
powersothatwecanavoidbeingtheunderdog.
So how can we have a sense of clarity when we speak? The key thing is to open up as many
pathwaysaspossibleforkeepinganeyeonthemany,manyfactorsthatarearisingatanyonetime.
Therearefactorsinthebody,varioussensationsofproprioception.Forexample,whenyouhavea
cold, you are not fully yourself, you lose something of yourself. Having a small sickness is very
helpfulfortherapists.Ithelpsyoutoseethatthebasisofyourclarityisconnectedtothebody,that
theclarityofthemindisnotfreefloating. It’sactuallydeeplyembodied,becauseifyougetabad
cold,ifyougettheflu,you’llfindthinkingverydifficult.Whatishappening?Clearly,theenergyof
thebodyissinkingbackdownandthereisaconcernwiththemaintenanceofthebodysystem.Our
senseofbeingsafeornotsafe inafear inducingsituation isrooted inaveryprimitivepartofour
brain.
Whatdoeshavingasenseofbeingembodiedmean? Insomewayembodiment isaverydualistic
notion,forifyouputsomewinefromabarrelintoabottleyoucouldsaythatitis‘embottled’.The
wineandthebottlearetogetherbuttheyarenotatallthesame.Ifourmindoroursenseofselfis
embodieddoes thatmean it’s inside thebody likeamysteriouscontent? Did thathappenat the
momentofconception,didithappenslightlyafter?Thisbody/minddualityisnotaveryhelpfulway
tothinkofouractualsituation.Ratherthebodyisanaspectofourbeing,anaspectwhichreveals
itselfaccordingtohowweattendtoit.Whenyousitintheroomwithsomeone,areyouabletobe
present with what is happening in your body? Is it meaningful? Could it be seen as a somatic
countertransference,with the sensation inourbody telling is somethingaboutwhat ishappening
for/astheotherperson?Isthattrue?Ofcoursethepresenceofanotherpersonwillhaveanimpact
onus—but the interpretationof the impact ismadebyourmindaccording toourown framesof
reference.
Wealso attend toour voice: howarewe speaking? Whyarewe speaking in thisway?Doesour
voice change? Do you experience some degree of retroflection,whereby youmightwant to say
somethingbutfindyourself inhibitedandsilenced?Whomareyouprotecting?Is itoutoffearof
kicking a hornet’s nest, that you imagine you are going to get a very negative reaction from the
person,orisitaveryskilfulthingtodo?There’snopointtoprovokethepatientiftheyarelikelyto
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react from theirhabitualpositionof feelingattacked. That is likely toknockout their capacity to
reflectandfurtherstrengthentheirbeliefs.
Wealsohavetoattendtoourmindandhowwethinkaboutthings. Aswebecomeawareofthe
contentofourmind,howshouldweattendtoit?Inbrief,focusedtherapywedon’thaveverylong
to work out what is important. We have a task to attend to and we’re looking at the patient,
maintaining some degree of eye contact. In those circumstances can you have a free floating
attention? Freud’s development of a technique using that sort of attention was based on not
lookingat thepatientasaconsciousagentbutratheropeningtothe flowofwhat issaidandnot
said.Theanalystsitsatthesideofthepatientwhoislyingonacouch.Theanalystfromthevery
beginningestablishesthattheyarenotaccountabletothepatientandthatanalysisisnotavariation
ofanordinaryconversation. There’sagreatfreedominthat,isn’tthere?Becausewhenyouare
working interpersonallywithapatient there’sa kindofobligation tobewith themas theyare to
themselves. Then the therapist and patient are in a feedback loop involvingmutual adjustment.
Theface‐to‐faceencounterbringsaboutaparticularlevelofengagement.Wemeetonthelevelof
theouter skinof theperson,which can feelunderattackby themanifestingof the self‐stateson
bothsides. Someoftheseself‐statesareconscious.Forexample,Ithinkyoucandeveloptheself‐
stateofaCATtherapist,thatistosay,somebodywhoislookingforcertainphenomena,andwhois
goingtoorganizethesephenomenaincertaincategories.Wecansobelieveinthevalueofwhatwe
arelookingforthatthenameofthephenomenaandthephenomenathemselvesappeartobeborn
together.Thisofcourseisanillusion,butit’sanillusionwetendtositinside.
So, in CAT, we learn our specialist technical vocabulary, for example, reciprocal roles. The
phenomenathataredescribedintermsofreciprocalrolescouldbedescribedinmanyotherways.
Actuallytherearenoreciprocalroles,therearenoself‐states,there isnotransference. Theseare
the confectionaries of the mind. These are constructs which operate to help other constructs.
Constructs speak to constructs, words speak to words, thoughts speak to thoughts. Language
doesn’tspeaktotheworld,becausewehavenoaccesstoourworldexceptthroughlanguage.Ifyou
relaxyour immersion in languageandattendtowhat isoccurring,youwill findthat it isnotwhat
you thought it was. If you take psychedelic mushrooms or LSD, and through this have a direct
relationshipwiththeworld,whenyoucomebackfromyourmarvellousjourney,you’vegotnothing
tosay:
—“Howwasit?”
—“Amazing!”
—“Thankyouverymuch,thatexplainsalotaboutthemeaningoflife!”
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Thisworld,theonewelive ineveryday, ismediatedby language.Weconstructourworldthrough
language‐basedcognitions.Sowhenwearespeakingtopeople,essentiallywhatwearetryingtodo
istofindtheinterfacebetweenourvariouspatternsoflanguageuse.Intherapywe’retryingtofree
peoplefromtheirmisuseoflanguage,fromtheirexcessivereificationandoverinvestment.Ourjob
istoreducethevalueofthenoun,sothatthevalueoftheverb,theadverbandtheadjectivecan
increase,thuscreatingamoredynamicsenseofpossibilities.
Whenweencounterstatementssuchas“I’munloveable.Mymotherneverlovedme.Nothinghas
everworkedoutinmylife,”thereisthesenseofsomethingverysolid.Thereisarealpersonthere,
apersonwhocanbeknowncompletely,whocanbe summedup, and through that summingup,
definedinawaythatrendersnochangepossible.Thisisnotuncommoninthefirstexpressionsof
ourpatients.Bytheendofthetherapy,wearehopingthattheywillhaveamuchmorefluidsense
ofwhat itmeans to be alive and how to proceed. In order to bring this aboutwe are trying to
introduce them to the dynamics of existence, which is why we ask them to keep diaries of
experiences.Thusifsomebodysays,“Iamdepressed”,weaskthemtokeepadiaryofthemoments
when they are aware of depression. Then, hopefully, they come to see that the experience of
depression varies according to causes and circumstances, and in fact is a range of evoked
experiencesratherthanafixedentity.Theseexperiencesarenotevokedoutofaninneressenceof
depression. When these transient states are evoked it’s as if something arises out of nothing.
Perhapsyoubelievethatwereallyhavetheseself‐states insideus, thattheyreallyhavethesame
sort of status as we would think of the lungs and the stomach and the bowels. Are they the
constituentsofourselves?
Tony Ryle,who started CAT, talked of individuals being constituted out of their experienceswith
others;thisconstitutiontakingtheformofself‐states,voices,andprocedures.Thatissomethingfor
ustoreflecton,becauseIwouldsuggesttoyouthatagreatdealofresistanceinthetherapistand
alsointhepatient,arisesfromthewayweconceptualiseouridentityandourexperience.Ifyousee
yoursituationasadone‐deal,somethingyouare inuredto,somethingthathasbeengoingonfor
suchalongtimethatithasbecomepartandparcelofhowyouare,thiswillfeedintoasenseofthe
inalienabilityofthesephenomena.
However,whatwearetryingtodoistoalienatepeoplefromtheirneurosissothattheywillnotbe
alienated from themselves. In order to do that, we have to believe that the investment in the
neurosiscanbetakenback,thattheinvestmentisnotsubstantialandfixed,butisinfact,asitwere,
volitional and energetic. It may be unconsciously volitional. That is to say, if you have a really
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terrible childhood and a lot of trauma, the tightening up that happens in the entire body‐mind
systemleadstopoorcommunicationinthebrainwithalossofthecapacityforplanningandreview,
andaparallel difficulty in controlling impulsivity. Under those circumstances, thepersonmay try
againandagaintochangetheirwaysofthinkingandbehavingbuttonoavailbecauseofthelackof
clarityintowhatisgoingon.Thisleadstoalackofpurchaseontheactualsiteoftheproblemsothat
most of the effort expended on trying to change, leads nowhere.Many very good hearted, very
honest and ethical people have had terrible lives, and though they try to change the disturbing
situationsthattheyfindthemselvesdrawnintoagainandagain,theyareunsuccessfulandthefailed
effortleadstodepressionandself‐abandonment.
Two new elements are required if the effort to change is going to be successful. The first is
nourishment,someresourcingof thecapacityof theobservingself tomakesenseofwhat’sgoing
on.InCATwesupportthisthroughthereformulationletterandthediagramweco‐create;weare
jointlydevelopingtoolsforthinking.Thesecondfactorisabridgingouttotheworld.Wesay,“Let
meintroduceyoutotheactualworldyoulivein,”andthisprovidesawindowonto,andthenadoor
outof,theencapsulateddomainofhabitualassumption.Ourneuroticenclosureputsuspreciselyin
thepositionof the inhabitantsofPlato’scave. Theself‐stateshavenodirectaccess to theworld;
they only connect as reciprocal roles, whereas the constellated complementary position they
identifywithelicitsitscorrespondingpolarityfromtheenvironment.Theyactasiftheyareseeing
theactualsituationbutaremerelycueing inthere‐runofset‐piece interactions. Inthatstatewe
areinsidethecaveseeingtheseflickeringreflectionsonthewallandweinterpretthemasbeingthe
actualreality.Theobservingselfcanatleastputitsheadroundthecornerandhaveapeepoutside.
We’retryingtosendfoodintotheisolatedself‐stateandenablelinkingtotheoutside,forifthereis
poorinternalandexternalcommunication,therewillbelittlescopeforexploringnewpossibilities.
Inparticularwehavetolearntotrustthatwhatthereiswillbegoodenough,thatwecanlearnto
work with our actual situation however it is. This is the actual basis of collaborative living, on
conviviality.
In a family, it is often the mother who serves up the food and the children have to trust that
everyonewillgetthesame.Usuallysiblingswill takesomeyearstounderstandthatthatmightbe
thecase,andthattherelationshipbetweentheknifeinthemother’shand,theeyeinthemother’s
head,the love inthemother’sheartandthecake infrontofthemother isquitereliableandthat
youcantrustthattheslicesofcakewillallbejustaboutthesamesize.That’sveryimportantisn’tit,
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because once you start to trust, you relax the hyper‐vigilancewhich operates as an isolated self‐
state.
But it’sahellofa journeyformanyofourpatientstobegintotrust, tobelievethatsomeoneout
therewill be consistent and reliable. The reliability of the therapist rests in their open presence
towards the other and it reveals itself through a clarity of intention. In CAT this is supported by
consistent attention to the target problem—theagreed focusof thework—whichmeans thatwe
know what we should be reliable in helping the patient with. The patient also has a clearly
demarcatedareaofattentionwhichprovidesasenseofdirectionandawayofnotgettinglostinthe
on‐goingturmoilofevents.Withbothpartiesattendingtothesameterritoryagainandagain,there
is a senseofbuildingupmore clarity, andmorepossibilityofpredictingdifficult situationsbefore
theyoccur. Thatopensthewayto identifyingandrehearsingnewwaysofactingandresponding.
Thetargetproblemhasadefinitefunction.It’snotafalseimposition;it’salmostlikeametronome,
justkeepingasteadybeatthroughwhichyoucanseethevarioussidemovementsofyourhabitual
tendenciesandgraduallysuccumbtothemlessandless.
Arethereanythoughtsaboutthat?
Question:Isn’tthetargetproblemlikeanagenda?
It is a sharedagendaonewhichneeds tobeexplicit andagreed from thebeginning.Bothparties
have to agree that this is a problem worth focussing the therapy on and, moreover that it is a
problemthatcanberesolved.Weshouldn’tbedecidingonthetargetproblemandthentryingto
sellittothepatient.Rather,itisaquestionofhowshallweusethistimetothegreatestadvantage
intermsofyouractuallifesituation.
Thepatientmightsay,“Well,Idon’tknow.You’retheprofessional,youtellme”andwemightreply,
“Well,whatailsyou?Whatbringsyouhere?Canyousaywhathasbroughtyou into this realmof
woe, to this dreary consulting room, in the sadness of an NHS clinic?” Clearly that’s a basis for
proceeding,isn’tit?Becauseyouwouldn’tcomeinhereforafuntime!Somethingmustbewrong,
so how canwe think aboutwhat’swrong in away that doesn’t tend towards objectification and
essentialisation,butrathertowardsasenseofcausesandconditions,historicaldevelopment? It is
awarenessofourmovementintime,astime,thatoffersthelivedexperienceoftheamenabilityof
ourdeeplyembeddedpatternstotransformationsandnewbeginnings.
The focusof the therapyshouldbea siteofhope. If there’snohope,youhavea realproblem. If
there’snohopeinthetherapy,ifthepatienthasnohope,youreallyhaveaproblem.Ifthetarget
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problemremainsabstractforthepatient,iftheydon’tgetitanditdoesn’tgetthem,thentherewill
benoclarityandstaminaof intentionandattention. Weneedtoworkonthetargetproblem,for
thatworkwill bring dignity; itwill bring clarity. Focused attention to the dynamic experience of
being with others makes the world comprehensible because you’re actually starting to attune
energeticallytotheworld.It’snotjustanempathicattunement;it’sanenergeticattunement.We
havepatientswhogotobedat4o’clockinthemorninganddon’twakeupuntilnoon.Unlessyou
workintheundergroundorsomethingsimilar,whywouldyoubedoingthat?Whatisthefunction
of being so out of rhythmwith theworld? It is to be apart in away that leads to isolation and
dissolution.Focusingonatargetproblem,forexample,‘Idon’tknowhowtobemyselfwithothers’
links us to exploring ourselves and our actual lived world. It involves stepping out of our self‐
enclosedfantasiesandtheirceaselesseditingofthefieldofexperience.Thiscanrevealanewsense
ofagency.
The agency of individual self‐states is, in a sense, mad because it’s cut off from the actual lived
environment. Healthy,affirmativeagencycomeswiththeobservingself. The focusonthetarget
problemcanhelptobringthisshiftfromourover‐relianceonaninternal,historicallyderivedmapto
a real‐time attention to the unfolding field of experience. Whenwe are in the actualworld, the
worldofactivity,therearemanyopportunitiestoconnectwithothers.Butwhenwearetrappedin
privateworldswe’reoutofkilterwiththeworld.Ifyou’remissingtherhythmoftheworld,youmiss
thebus–ifyoumissthebus,youhavetowalk.Somanyofourpatientsareverylonely,theywalka
very,verylonelypath.Betweentheirsessionthisweekandtheircomingtoseemenextweek,many
ofmypatientshavenotsharedtwosentenceswithanyone.Theydon’tspeaktoanyoneatall.That
isunbelievable,tobesoprofoundlylonelyandalienated.Ithinkthat’sahellishstate,forinitthey
havenobasisforlinkingouttobewithsomeoneelse,andtheydon’thaveanarrativewhichanother
human being is likely to see as having any value. Helping people back into attunement—into
presencewithintheexperientialfieldasituniquelyrevealsitselftoeachperson—thisistheheartof
thework.
TheImpactofMindfulnessonOurSubjectivity
Clearly,rational,reflectivethoughtcanbeausefulwayofkeepinganeyeonwhat’sgoingon,butit
can also be knocked out fairly easily because it tends to be reliant on a chain of signifiers ‐ one
thought follows another follows another, so you have to be able to think sequentially, andmany
emotional statesmake thatdifficult.Oneotherpossibilitywouldbe todevelopmore capacity for
mindfulness.Mindfulnessisessentiallyastateofrecollection.Thatistosayabringingtogether,a
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recollecting,of thedistractedanddispersedpartsofoneself. Youbecomeallofapiece. Allofa
piece doesn’t mean much of a muchness, because you still have differentiation between the
differentaspectsofyourself,butthereismorecommunicationbetweenthem.
Thebasicprincipleofmindfulnessistobringtogetherintentionandattention.Ifyoudon’thavea
clearintention,ifthewillisnotcathectedtothetask,itwillbedifficulttohavesuccessinanything.
Thesameprincipleapplies tochange inpsychotherapy; if thepatientdoesn’twant tochange, it’s
notlikelytohappen. Whatis ‘wantingtochange’?It’saformofdesire,butit’saparticulardesire
isn’tit?It’sthedesirethathasaspecialkindofglueattachedtoit.It’sthedesirethatwilleasilylock
ontomobilization.Wealsoknowdesireswhichdon’thavethatglue,wecallthemdaydreams...“I’d
like to do that”… “Oneday I think I’ll do that”…That’s not fixing on to anything, is it? It’s just a
passing thought. Veryoftenour patients talk in thatway– theywould like things to changebut
lackingclarityofintention,method,andcapacity,itdoesn’thappen.
To develop these factors of effective change doesn’t mean that we have to install an artificial
construct. Rathertheycome intobeingthroughthework, justas ifyou takeapieceofdullbrass
andpolishit,itwillstarttoshine.Thepotentialoftheshininessisinthebrass,becauseifyouwere
topolishsomematerialwhichlackedthatpotential,theshinewouldn’thappen.Allbeingshavethe
potentialforchange.Inordertoactivateittwoaspectsofourexistencehavetobeawakenedto:the
currentactualformofourlife,ourphysical,verbalandmentalbehaviour,andtherootexperienceof
ouridentity,whetherwetakeourselvestobeclosedanddefinedoropenandunfolding.
Intentionmeansagency,whichmeansthecapacitytoimposeoneselfontotheworldtomakethings
happen. That is to say it’s concerned with pattern formation: ‘I will do this particular task, and
becauseIdothis,implicitly,Iwillnotbedoingthemany,manyotheroptionsthatareavailable.All
theseotherthingsthatIcouldbedoing,Iwillnotbedoing.’Thisisaveryessentialunderstanding.
It’swhymanyofthethinkerswhohavebeenconcernedwiththeissueofwill,havealsowrittenalot
aboutviolence,becausethewillistheforceofdeath.Lifeanddeathgotogether.Ifyousay‘Yes’to
something,youareautomaticallysaying‘No’tootherthings.Givinglifetooneoptionmeansdeath
ornon‐lifetotheotherswhicharenotchosen.Ifyouareafarmer,assoonasyouputyourplough
in the land to grow the corn to feed your family, you commit yourself to killing. There aremany
worms andmany insects that are going to be crushed andmangled. Youwill do that. That’s the
natureoflife.Youcan’tcookwithoutalteringtheshapesofnature.Youtakeanaubergineandyou
chopitup.Youdounspeakablethingstothataubergine!Ifthatauberginewasalittlebabyandthe
mamaauberginewassaying
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—“Oh,mydear,you’resobeautiful”—“Mama,whatwillhappentomewhenIgrowup?”—“Oh,you’llbecomebigandroundandshinyandyou’llhavethemostbeautifulcolour!”
Shedoesn’tsay…….!It’slikethat.
Oneofthemostdifficultthingsformanyofourpatientsistoknowwhattogivelifetoandwhatto
kill off. Actually,wedo this all the time. To live is to act, to choose, todecide– even ifwe are
deciding to letothersact forus. Actionshaveconsequences thatweandotherswill have to live
with.Thereisalwaysalotatstakewhenwearealive.Changingbehaviourmeans,firstly,changing
howwethinkaboutourhabitualtendencies.Ifwehaveatendencytobelazyandinourmindthat
wayoflivingmeans‘takingiteasy’,‘beingkindtomyself’,‘enjoyinglife’,thenthisviewofhowwe
arelivingislikelytomaintainthatpattern.Ifwereframethatbehaviourbynamingit‘laziness’we
seeitassomethingnegativeandthenthereisanimmediateconflictbetweenwhatwedoandhow
wethinkabout it. Thisconflict is thebasis forchangeaswegraduallypullmoreofour intention,
mobilisation,andenergyovertothesideofthenewdefinition.Cleavingtoit,wecannolongerbe
comfortablewithourhabitual style. Yetof course,wehave to rememberournewdefinitionand
applyitotherwisethemomentumofthelong‐establishedhabitwillcarryusalongthefamiliarpath.
Beingmindfulofwhatweareupto,ofhowweoperate,ofthephenomenologyofourexistence,is
vitalifwearetoleavethemapsandbeliefsinourheadandfullybecomeourbeingintheworldwith
others.Inotherwords,thedecisionaboutwhetheranactivityis‘good’or‘bad’dependsonhowwe
inhabittheworld,andonwhetherweareconcernedforthewellbeingofselfandotherornot.
Therecanbenofixedanswertothequestion‘HowshouldIlive?’Whensuchanswersareproposed
they are amodeof violence, a disturbing imposition that further covers the immediacyof life. In
fact,wearealreadyalive,inlife,withalife–thequestioniscanwebeartoseeitand,onthebasis
of that clarity, canwemobilise the resources todevelopandmaintain its inter‐facewithanever‐
changingworld? Fixed patterns of action and re‐action, such as the reciprocal roles described in
CAT,arethescleroticstabilisersthatcansoeasilyroblifeofitsoftensurprisingfreshness.
Justasadriverhastoreadtheroadasitrevealsitself,sowehavetoreadourlifeasitunfolds–this
requiresoptimalattentiontowhatisoccurringwithminimalprojection,assumption,privilegingand
denial.Inordertodothiswehavetocommitourselvestobeingavailable,beinghospitabletoour
lifeasitpresentsitself.Thisopenpresenceissupportedbythepracticeofattendingtomoresimple
phenomenasuchastheflowofthebreathorthesensationofwalking.Attendingmindfullytowhat
isthereallowstheexperienceofourselvesasaclaritywithnointrinsiccontent.Inthisliesfreedom
fromtakinghabitualpatternstobeone’strueidentity.
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In the beginning this requires discipline, the capacity to maintain one’s decision in the face of
externalandinternaltriggerstodosomethingelse.Ihavetodecide,‘IwilldothisandIwillnotdo
anythingelsewhileIamdoingthis.ThroughthisIamgoingtostopthepromiscuityofmymind.In
adheringtothistherestisnowirrelevant.’Thereisatremendousfreedomwhenwerealisethatwe
don’thavetosuccumbtowhateverisarisinginourmind.
Hereweare just sitting together. So just sitasyouare. All kindsofexperiencesarise. Sincewe
cameintothisroomtogetherwe’vehadmanydifferentthoughts,feelings,sensations.Howmanyof
these were intentional? To be a conscious agent is actually rather rare. Most often we are
swimming inanoceanofhappenstance,asouterand innerevents triggereachother. Across this
vivid complexitywe run our organising narratives,weaving new events and familiarmotifs into a
storylinethatcontinuesoursenseofwhoweare.Inordertodevelopmindfulnesswehavetosee
themovementofnarrativeformationratherthanjustbeingsuckedintoit.Thatis,wehavetolearn
toobserve the flowof the contentofourmind. To see the ceaselessdynamic flow is toawaken
fromtheillusionthatweareconstitutedoutoffixedcomponents,ingredients,qualities.Theflowof
experience is something we can be present to and participate in – but actually it is beyond
appropriation.Wearenotmadeupofentitiesandneitherareweanentity.
Inordertofindclaritywehavetobalanceonthecuspofinside/outside,self/other,past/future,and
alltheotherbinaryoppositions.Thisinvolvesfindingthewaytorestintheplacethatisnowhere,as
apureawareness.Thentherandomnessoflifebecomesworkableaswearenotsoinvestedinthe
maintenanceof fixed, familiarpatterns. However, ifweawakentothedynamiccomplexityofthe
field,thegivennessofexperience,whilestillholdingtoasenseofourselvesasanagentwhoneeds
tobeinchargeinordertobesafe,thenwearelikelytofindlifeterrifyinglyoutofcontrol.Secure
attachment,paradoxically,meanstherelaxedcapacitytokeepsurfingonthewavesofexperience.
Alltheothermodesofattachmenthaveusgraspingatsomething,evenif it isonlyanimpulse. In
thepinballgameofborderlinefragmentation,peoplericochetfromonebumpertoanother.Alotis
goingon,butwithnorealprogression. Installingmoresenseofboundariescanhelpbutimposing
boundaries requires power, both will‐power and effective power in the world as a social agent.
These are capacities that seem rarely to develop when childhood has been an experience of
repeatedabandonmentandinvasion.
However,wecanallmakeefforttobecomemoremindful.Asapracticetoaidthisithelpsifwecan
calmandsteadyourownmind. Todothiswecandecidetositstillfortenminutesandfocusour
attentiononthemovementofthebreathgoinginandoutofournostrils. Thetaskisverysimple,
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yetwefindourmindwanderinghitherandthither,andwehavetobringitbackagainandagainto
thefocus.Ifwedidn’thavethesimplicityofthetarget,wewouldn’tknowthatweweregettinglost.
Weoftenthinkwearenotlostwhenweare,forwearehighlyreactiveandeasilygetledastrayby
passing thoughts. This is similar to the issueof the targetproblem: to firstofall identifya target
problem,secondlytoinvestitwithenoughimportancetothinkit’sreallyworthprivilegingoverthe
other possibilities, and thirdly to enforce this new status that you have decided on by reminding
yourself of its value. We have to believe that the focus, whether it’s the breath or the target
problem,isbiggerandmorevaluablethanmydesiretogohere,togothere,tobeinterestedinall
thatisgoingon.
Thisisaverydifferentattitudefromthatprevalentinourmodernwayoflife.Tobeinterested,tobe
fascinated, to be stimulated, that’s what people are encouraged to want. We havemulti‐media
everywheregivingusaconstantflowofstimulation,encouragingustotradeexcitementforstability
andcontinuityoffocus.Ifwearetoresistthispull,ourwillastheenergy,andourintentionasthe
clarifyingfocus,bothneedthesupportofattentionwhichisthewillingnesstoattendandtobring
oneselfbackwhenonestrays.
‘Totend’meansbothtocareforbutalso,asinatendency,tomovetowards.Itisusuallybetterif
ourmovementhassomekindofcareinvolvedinit.Theword‘therapy’derivesfromaGreekword
used todescribe theattendantsat thehealing templesofAsklepios. Towaiton theother, tobe
attentivetothemisattheheartofhealing,ofhelpingtomakewhole.Inordertodothat,Ihaveto
commitmyselftothewillingintentiontoattendtowhathappens.Weneedtobeclearwhetherwe
are focusing on a precise object such as the breath, or a target problem, or on an unfolding
experiencesuchasbeinginaconversationwithsomeone.
Intheformercaseweresistallothertemptationsandhomeinonourchosenfocus.Ifwefindwe
arewanderingoffit,assoonaswenoticethis,weneedtogentlybringourselvesbacktothatfocus
without blaming ourselves or being curious aboutwherewewent orwhy. In the latter case the
focusofmindfulnessisthepulsationoftheconversation,theto‐ingandfro‐ing,withtheintention
beingtosupporttheflowofthemutualengagement.Mindfulnesshereishelpingthespontaneous
fine‐tuningofresponsivitythatariseswhenoneisnottalkingtooratanother,buttalkingandbeing
withthem.Theinteractionorco‐emergenceoftheundividedfieldisrevealedwhenweloosenour
fixationonwhatwewanttosay,onwhatishappeningtoandforme,andstayopenatthepointof
interaction,whichisalsotheexpanseofthefield.Thatis,whenweopentotheotherwearearising
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aspartoftheintegratedfield.Learningtotrustthatopenness,removestheburdenofourhabitual
andlimitingsensethat‘It’salluptome’.
Question:Attention,whatisit?
Sayyouhaveanessaytowriteforyourcourseandyouthink,‘OkayI’lldoitthisweekend’.Sonow
youhaveanintentionandyouhavetokeepyourattentionclosetothat,butotherfactorsarelikely
toimpinge.Youhavetoresisttheenticementsofsomebodysaying,“Whydon’tyoucomeoutwith
us.We’regoingtodothisandwe’regoingtodothat.” Oncetheactualworkoftheessaybegins,
youmightfindthattheinitialenthusiasmgiveswaytoakindofplateau;there’salossofexcitement
because actually, thework is not as exciting as the idea of doing it. Unless you can get into the
staminamode,themarathonmodewhereyouthink‘I’mjustgoingtodoit’,youlosethefirstwind
andthenyou’reforcingyourself.That’swheredistractionoftenoccurs.That’swhatwe’retryingto
helpourpatientswith. Borderlinepatientsare sprinters; theyhavehigh intensity,butoftenwith
verylittlereflection,andtheirimpulsiveactivitygoesallovertheplace.
Thereisnofundamentaldifferencebetweenusandourpatients,weareallpronetodistractionand
impulse.Mindfulnessisalifepractice,itdoesn’tcometoanendwhenwereachagoal,ratheritisa
wayoflifethatiswholesome.Ifwe,duetothecausesandconditionsofourpast,arefortunateto
haveabitmoreclarity,thenitbehovesustohelpothersenterintothesamepathofawakening.In
thiswayweallstarttoexperiencetheinseparabilityofwisdomandcompassion.
ThefocusofCATisverydifferent.Herewearehelpingthepatienttoholdthetargetproblemover
theweeksandmonths,comingbacktoitagainandagain,evenwhenitlosesitssavour.Thatlossof
savourisaverycommonexperience.Forexample,inthemonasticlifeitwascalledaccidie1whichis
a kindof spiritual boredomandapathy, a lossof faith andpurposewhere you think, ‘What’s the
pointofallthis?’Learningisamarathon,butevenmarathonisthewrongsortofnotionbecausea
marathonhasanendtoit.
Mindfulness,withitsimplicitrespectfortheintrinsicvalueofbeingalive,isanorientation,awayof
life.Mindfulnessisapracticeforestablishingourselvesinthegroundofourexistence.Thepractice
isn’t somethingwe add on top of howwe are, but it’s a return, a re‐sourcing, going back to the
sourceofourbeing,outofwhichallourbecomingunfolds.Anintentionalattendingtolifebringsa
balancedmobilizationofenergythatistrulyfulfilling,fulfillingintermsofsatisfaction.Satisfactionis
differentfromourmodernobsessionswithexcitementandfun. It’snotexcitingorfuntopractice
1Or,acedia
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beingmindfuleveryday;itmightbeinteresting,anditmightbesatisfying,butit’sunlikelytokeep
givingyouabuzz.Abuzztendstocomefromnewness.Weliveinacultureofnewnessaspartof
themodernistprojectthatseekstocutusfreeofthepast. Thecontinuityoftraditionisseenasa
kindofcorsetorenclosurethatcrampsourstyle.That’saverydifferentreadingofthepotentialof
existence fromsaying that, inorder to findmyself, Iwant topartakeof thebalanced,established
rhythmsofatraditionthatfocusesontheinfinitepresent.
InabrieftherapylikeCATwemightbeprovidingabriefimmersioninafieldofpossibility.Butifitis
not internalised andmetabolised then it’s essentially a holiday from the barrenness of their life.
Hopefullyourpatients fill themselvesupwithsomeofourwarmthandconcern,but then,aftera
while,itleaksoutofthembecausetheworldtheyliveinissobleakandtheirhabitsandtendencies
aresodeeplyengrained. However, Ibelievethat ifwedeepenourownpracticeofbeingmindful,
thatopen spaciouspresence,will strengthen the therapeutic alliance and facilitate a looseningof
theirlimitedandlimitingsenseofidentity.
Sointhefirstinstance,whatwehavetodoastherapistsistomodelthesequalitiesourselves.My
intentioninbeingintheroomwiththepatientistogivethemmyfullattention.ThatistosayI’m
privilegingaphenomenological turnoverananalytic turn. I’mnot focussedprimarilyonmyown
countertransference response, but only in as much as it manifests as part of the wider
phenomenological field. If I go off looking for it and speculating about it, I will have entered a
conceptualworld thatwill takemeoutof theco‐emergentmomentofbeingwith theother. We
alsomobilizeourwill,ourdecisionandouractualisationthatwearefortheother.
Sowhatismyethicalresponsibilitytotheotherandwhatismyownethicalentitlement?WhatcanI
saytotheotherperson?WhatcanIcommenton?CanIsaytosomeone“Lookstomelikeyou’re
going tohell inahandcart”? Is thatan insulting remark tomake tosomeoneor somethinguseful
that can shock them into amore truthful senseofwhat they are up to? “It seems tome you’ve
fuckedyourlifeupcompletely,whatdoyouthink?” Isthathelpfulornothelpful?Itwoulddepend
onthecircumstances.Somepeoplemightneedaslap,whilesomewillneedacaress.Who’sgoing
todecide?
If we scare ourselves by thinking that someone will make a complaint, we will never have the
couragetohonestlyengagewiththeother.Howcanwehavethecouragetobe,thecouragetolive,
thecouragetobefortheother? Life is importantandit’s fleeting. Moreover, it istrulyawfulfor
manypeople.So,canwespeakfromthebelly?Well,isthebellylinkedwiththeheart,istheheart
linkedwith thehead, is thehead linkedwith thevoice? Because ifwhatwesay isan integrated,
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balancedexpressionof all theaspectsofourselves in free communication, and if that ‘self’ isnot
heldapartfromtheother,thenthatismaybeasreliableabasisforethicalcommunicationaswecan
find.Mindfulnesspracticeopensustotheprofoundenquiry:‘HowcanIbeaspresentaspossiblein
the integrationofmybeing inorder tobe as fullywith theother and for theother, so that I am
turnedtowardstheother,intheserviceoftheother,knowingthatthisisfullofdifficulties.’
TotakethisupasalifepracticemeanstoobservewhyIbecometired,whataretheconstructionsin
myownbeingthatcausethe lossof intention,attentionand,very importantly, love. Whydon’t I
lovesomeofmypatients? Ifwetakelovetomeananopennesstotheother,an infiniteconcern,
“Mayallbeingsbehappy”,thenloveisaforgetfulnessofself.Loveistobefortheother,itmeans
their happiness, their fulfilment, their satisfaction ismy concern. That gives a particular kind of
agendaororientation,anon‐violentsensitivitygeneratingasenseofhowtospeaktosomeoneina
waythatcanhelpthemcomebacktothemselves.Werequiretheopennessoftheobservingselfin
order to be able to let this happen. If we collapse into our self‐states we will not have the
wherewithal, the panoramic vision, to be really available for the other. So when you think of
ruptures in the therapeutic alliance, when you think of misunderstandings, when you remember
sitting in the roomwith someoneand thinking, “I haveno ideawhat to say,” or thinking “I don’t
wanttobehere.Whycan’ttheybedifferent?”whatishappeningisveryinteresting.Youcouldgo
intothinkingaboutthedetailsofthesessionanddeveloparangeofpotentialinterpretations,oryou
couldrecognisethatyou’velostyourfocus.Ifmyintentionalfocusistoberelaxed,open,available,I
have to see that I have vanished into something else. I have lost the groundofmybeing; it has
collapsedintoasmallislandwithinmyself.InthisstateIreallyamnotavailable.
SohowcanIreturnmyselftotheimmediacyofmyownground?Well,thequickwayisthroughthe
breath,throughlooseningupthediaphragm,forthefreemovementofthebreathwillfreeusfrom
encapsulation in self‐states. Essentially it’s about linking out to the other and not vanishing into
yourself.Theselfislikealabyrinth;thereisneveranyendtoitsspeculationsandpathways.From
this point of view, the general target problem for relational therapists is to find the way to be
presentwiththepatientwithoutfallingintotheirworld,tobeavailablewithoutdefendingoneself
against theirworld. Notexcessivelyout,notexcessively in, justbalanced. That’s thekeymethod
andfunctionoftherapy.
Whennotindirestraitspeopleoftencometotherapyinordertofindoutaboutthemselves. The
processusuallyinvolvesendlessstoriesabouttheirchildhoodandtheirmotherandrevisitingevents
againandagain.That’sinteresting,butitcanalsobeawayofbeinglostinnarrative.Narrativeand
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phenomenologicalpresencearenotthesamethingatall.Openingyourselftosomeone’snarrative
involves a degree of generosity of oneself.We give ourselves to a story,we suspend disbelief in
ordertobetakenup,takenoverbythestoryandthere’ssomethingblessedinthat,isn’tthere?Itis
similartowatchingaplayorlisteningtomusic…youenteranotherworld.
Thatisverydifferentfromaphenomenologicalattentionwhichdoesn’tgetlost,whichsacrificesthe
excitement or fun or fascination of the narrative, of the storyline and stays open and present
withoutbeinginvolved.Inthatsenseit’slikecontemplationwithoutapredeterminedobject.It’sa
silentprayer,not resting inwords,andwithoutanyparticular focus, simplyopentoopenness. In
spiritualtraditions,byemptyingtheheartandmindcompletely,byhavingnoobject,byhavingno
subject, theonlyobject isGod,whoalsobecomestheonlysubject. Thisbringssatisfactionwhich
createsamoodofwelcome.Itdoesn’tprovidefascinationbecausethisisnothingtofascinatedby.
So innotbeingcaughtup inan internalcontent,thedualityofselfassubjectandobjectbecomes
quiescent,and thenone ismoreavailable for interactionwith theothers.Then the foreclosureof
one’sownhabitualpreoccupationsisdissolvedthroughofferingoneselfintheserviceoftheother.
InabrieftherapylikeCATwe’realsobeingactive,butthisisthebedrock.Iftheopenavailabilityis
present,thentheactivityofmobilisingandshapingcanhaveitsproperstatusasakindofmassage.
We don’t speak ‘The Truth’ or know how other people should be, and therefore our gestures
towardstheotheraredelicateandattuned, likeadelicatemassage.We’re looseningtheirmental
and emotional muscles; we’re helping them to ease out of constraint so that they can start to
explorenewpossibilities.Althoughwedon’thavepreformedagendathatwearetryingtoimpose
on the other, we are on about something, the importance of avoiding rigidity while remaining
presentonthisshimmeringsurfaceoftruecontact,heartfeltcontact. We’recallingtheother into
beingpresentwithus:“Don’tbeonyourowninyourprivateworld,butcomeout,notintomyworld,
butintothefieldofsharedexperiencewhichisever‐changingmovement.”
Themainthingistoobserveyourselfandseehowyougetlost.Themoreyouseeboththatyouget
lost, and how you get lost, then themore you can free yourself from the dichotomy of lost and
found. Lost and found are pulsations of energy, and you can bemindful of both. Being lost is
interesting,beingfoundisalsointeresting.
Regardingmeditation practice, simply sit in away inwhich you feel supported rather than being
slumped.Youcansitonthefloorcross‐leggedifthatiscomfortable,butthekeythingisthatyour
spine shouldbe straightwith theweightof thebodyhangingon the skeleton. The shouldersare
backand released, the tongue restson thehardupperpalate,and the lineof thegaze is running
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alongthelengthofthenose.Bringyourattentionontothebreathgoinginandoutatyournostrils;
justobservethebreath,andwheneveryouwanderoff,verygentlybringyourattentionback. We
havetodecide,‘Iwillfocusonmybreathasbeingmoreinterestingthananythingelse.’Thebreath
isnotintheleastinteresting.Sowearechoosingtoattendtosomethingwhichisnotinterestingas
opposedtoallthatwefleetinglyfindinteresting.Thismeditationtechniqueislinkedwithmonastic
culture.Monasticlifeisfullofboredom,forexamplescrubbingthefloorsagainandagainandagain.
Whyisthisdone?Because,theyshouldbescrubbed.Duty,obligationandconformityopenastate
ofmindlessness,whichparadoxicallyisagreatsupportformindfulness.Wedothepracticebecause
ithas tobedone–notacrushedconformitybutanembracingof thesimplicityandclaritywhich
appearsasdistractiondeclines. Boredomusually leadstoadesire for theantidoteofexcitement,
and in flipping from one state to the other, the neutral mid‐area of attention to the small, the
contentmentoftheordinary,ispassedby.
Astherapists,weareacting‘asif’,asifweknowwhatwearedoing,asifwecanhelp,asifweare
trulyentitledtobesittinginthetherapistschair.Thatas‐ifnessbringsaparticularkindofclarity,but
wealsohavetoknowit’snotthewholestory. It’spartoftheongoingwork,daybyday,togetto
knowourselves, to findout howwe fragment, howwe losebits of ourselves, howwe forget our
deepestintention,howwebetrayourselves,howwebetrayotherpeople.Throughthiswepractice
recollecting ourselves, being mindful, bringing everything to mind, allowing everything as it is,
withoutselectingorrejecting.
Ifweliveinthatwaywemightfindthekindofhard‐earnedhumbledignitythatallowsustoofferit
to others as a path. It is not as a magical solution. We can’t bring people into a state of full
integration; it’s going to be an ongoing practice of integrating in which we’re managing the
polarities.Forexample,happyandsadareborntogether;happyhasnorealmeaningwithoutsad.
Inthatsensetheyaremutuallydefinedandsoareoneworld.Iftheyareoneworld,whatwehave
actuallyisthepulsationofvisible/invisible.WhenIamhappy,sadisinitscorner,andwhenI’msad,
happyisinitscorner.Sadnessdoesn’treallygoaway,happinessdoesn’treallygoaway.
Ifwerecognisethatthesepulsationsareanintrinsicpartofouridentitythenwehavetoacceptthat
sometimeswearegoingtobemoreclearandsometimeswearegoingtobelessclear. Doesthat
meanwe shouldnot seeourpatientswhenwearenot feeling clear? Well itwoulddependhow
unclearwebecame,butgenerallyspeakingsomesessionswillgowellandsomewon’tgowell.The
ideathatwe’reinsomekindofonwardsandupwardsmovementtowardsmasteryandperfectionis
probably misleading. We’re living in a pulsatory world and for that reason people beginning as
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therapistscanbeveryhelpful,andpeoplewho’vebeentherapists fora longtimecanbenotvery
helpful.Therapyisnotsomethingwhichisafunctionofourwillinthewaythatonecouldexpress
one’swillinbuildingabrickwall.Youcanimposeyoursenseoforderonthebricks,youcanmake
sureeachlayerofcementisexactlythesamethickness.However,weareworkingwithotherbeings
whoaredynamicandunstableand ifwe’regoingtomeetthem,wehavetobeopen,flexibleand
responsive. Weareall learningto livewithoppositesandthe irresolvabletensionbetweenthem.
Thisrequiresatensilestrength,theresilientresponsivenessthatisnotrigidandthencrumblingbut
adaptable, thecapacity to livewithone’s strengthsandweaknesses simultaneously. That’sa real
gift. Itprotectsyouagainsthubris; itprotectsyouagainstself‐defeatingnegativeattitudes,and it
says,“It’salwaysaworkinprogress.”It’snotthatwecancollapseourselfstates,throughincreased
intra‐psychic communication. Ratherwe can learn to tolerate the fluctuations of our and others’
manifestations.Bynotover‐identifyingwiththefleetingformsofexperience,wecanawakentothe
natureofourawarenessasaclaritythatremainsfreshandsimple,whateverisgoingon.