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(The Bitter V*****N continued) …times stronger than a herbivore or human’s. The differences here are important because meat is acidic, and it harms the body the longer it stays in; to balance this acidity calcium is extracted from the bones. Meat also begins to rot in our very long digestive tract, increasing the chance of complications such as colon cancer and food poisoning. * Our teeth/lack of claws: Most of our teeth are flat, ideal for grinding plants. Like many other herbivores, we also have pointed teeth to pierce hard fruit or vegetables. Herbivores (and humans) grind their jaws sideways, whereas carnivores mash their teeth up and down.

Blunt answer: Prove it. Go catch a rabbit or something. Then rip it apart and eat the entire thing. With your bare hands. Raw. "But I love the taste of meat/don't you miss bacon?" So did I, but there are a lot of things I abstain from due to ethical grounds. Blunt answer: No, the carcass on your plate sickens me. "I can love animals, and still eat meat!" No. No no no no no. How can you love animals and then knowingly support an industry which subjects them to immense cruelty? Blunt answer: That's like Cruella de Ville saying “I love puppies”. "How do you get your protein/iron?"

For about 80 cents a can at Coles. A cup of lentils has the same amount of protein as a steak. Additionally; spinach, chickpeas, kidney beans, lima beans, black beans, whole grains/brown rice, cabbage, kale, nuts, seeds. Blunt answer: From food that won’t give me heart disease “What about B12?” The only thing that the vegetarian/vegan diet lacks is B12. This is because B12 is produced by bacteria found on the surface of vegetation, which is washed off for human consumption. However, herbivorous animals naturally consume bacteria-laden vegetation, and therefore the B12 is transferred to humans when they consume meat. Blunt answer: I take pills. You may have heard of them. "Did you hear about that vegan fed x to their baby/pet and they died?!" Yes I did. They were idiots who didn't know how to Google. There are ways to take care of your offspring/pets without compromising your values- like the many responsible vegan pet and baby foods on the market. Blunt answer: Did you hear about the billions of animals living every waking moment in suffering because they are confined to small spaces where they can’t move, and grown so quickly that they are in constant pain? “I care more about humans” There isn't a finite amount of 'care' you can allocate. My decision to be vegan is just as beneficial to humans as it is to animals Blunt answer: If you cared about humans, you would be vegan. “Do you swallow?” Yes. Blunt answer: Ask your dad

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“Real men eat meat/vegetarians are wusses/vegetarian is old Indian for bad hunter/etc.” The fact that our measure of 'strength' is whether we can consume the dead flesh of beings that are a product of suffering and abuse, inflicted by others, is a clear sign of a sick culture. Blunt answer: I'd like to see that carnivorous instinct of yours when your meat hasn't been killed, cleaned and cooked for you. “Each to their own/What I eat is my personal choice" I feel this is an unfair statement in this context, because in today's supposedly civilised society acceptable personal choices don't have victims. Let's take a look back at recent history. Being pro-slavery was eventually deemed 'wrong' by society, as everyone finally realised that humans aren’t possessions. 'Pro-slavery' individuals slept at night because they perceived people of other races as objects, rather than human beings with individual ambitions and interests. This is how animals are currently perceived. Instead of racism, we have speciesism. One fun way I like to explain speciesism; if we were ever discovered by a superior race of aliens, I hope they wouldn’t subject us to the treatment we give our animals. To recap, your 'personal choice' would be acceptable if factory farmed animals didn't suffer every day of their very short lives, and if their production didn't also contribute to 14-22% of greenhouse gasses. Blunt answer: Pure Godwin’s Law. The belief in the superiority an Aryan race lead Hitler to mass murder Jewish people. That was his personal choice. “That’s very admirable; I was thinking about cutting down on animal products myself, can you recommend some resources I should take a look at/ some super delish vegetarian/vegan recipes?” YES. Yes I can. You beautiful, open minded person. I was being 100% genuine in the last paragraph. I have received

super annoying and offensive when your defensiveness about your ethical choices leads you to question mine. Grind our vegetable oiled gears too much and we will smite you with our Vegan powers*. *If you did not get this reference you need to go out and watch/read Scott Pilgrim

(To Argue Semantics Continued)

…had similar goals and experiences!

So I have found that there can be a real difference in how people decide to interact with and own or disown the terminology. I know some people who can proudly bellow from the rooftops that they're vegetarian/vegan and pledge their allegiance to what I (steeped in some level of bias and perhaps a bit of self-righteousness) deem as an extremely important cause. They don’t give a fuck what others might say or think, and instead live gorgeous worry-free lives before they sprout wings and fly off into the sunset, giving the finger to all the defensive omnivores watching in horror. Seriously guys, kudos to you.

Then there are people like me. I'm so awkward and clumsy when it comes to discussing my dietary choices that I often skip the proper explanation of “I’m vegan”, avoiding terminology that could come off as loaded or inflammatory and evading harassment or conflict. Circumlocution, if you will. I beat around the bush linguistically.

“Excuse me, is there any egg or dairy in this menu option?"

My impressively supportive boyfriend and one of my close friends

often lay into me for this, and they're probably right to do so. My

fear of causing a scene has brought about some ridiculous

situations, such as deconstructing a “veggie burger” due to a

surprise layer of yoghurt, or being offered bacon as a substitute

breakfast side because all of the

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avocado was mashed with fetta and all I had stated was that I needed my food to be dairy-free. I still didn’t tell the waiter.

Meat-free, vegetarian… they all ultimately mean the same thing. So how are you supposed to decide which is right? Obviously, people are entitled to use whatever terminology they prefer or feel comfortable with.

When discussing food choices, vegan and vegetarian are such useful terms because they encompass quickly and specifically what may be required of a meal. Ultimately, you should hear vegetarian and be able to obtain the general concept of “no meat”. Likewise, vegan should tell you “no animal product”.

The words we use can often act as useful heuristics for quickly deriving meaning in certain situations. But while some words do neatly parcel up a particular meaning, they can also bring with them room for misconceptions and nasty connotations. Being vegan may mean to one person things like making a conscious effort to live a compassionate, cruelty-free lifestyle, but to some listeners it can also mean things like:

"You're an awful person for eating meat."

"I'm better than you."

"I'm trying to change you."

"But seriously, how do you sleep at night?"

Which is terrible, because it’s defensively imposing ideas and stereotypes onto somebody based on a group that they identify with. I am still yet to meet a vegan who embodies that militant stereotype, shoving opinions and judgment down the throats of everyone ever like there's no tomorrow. And I know quite a few vegans.

Yet somehow this bizarre stereotype has stuck around like a bad

smell, and is pressuring people to be secretive and bashful about

something that really shouldn't be a big deal to anyone other than

themselves. But it's what we sometimes feel the need to do, for like

of being able to get

through the day without being attacked every mealtime. It's a shitty situation, and I, Alice Jane, am a bit of a shitty person because by not verbally affiliating myself with the term "vegan", I am not doing anything to help challenge this negative stereotype. I’m working on it, I promise.

It’s so fascinating, though, when the words you choose to use can drastically affect your intended meaning and how your message is perceived by others. How I don't eat meat can elicit little reaction from others, and yet I'm a vegetarian/vegan sets off alarm bells in the minds of your peers. Just like that, the social event is shut down and fun is cancelled forever.

Isn’t it a bit ridiculous? Being vegetarian vs. not eating meat; these are technically the same thing. But social constructs and the meanings we tie in with each semantic choice create such a huge divide between the two, it's astounding. If you were to run words through the thesaurus feature of a typewriting program, it would change and skew the meaning of what you're saying completely. Truly a testament to how powerful words can be.

Regardless of what terms you use – whether you like to own a label or keep things vague, or even if you spend time at home arguing the semantics with yourself, don’t be fearful. Other people aren’t that bad. Alternately, if they are actually that bad, they’re just jerks and aren’t worth keeping around. Anybody who pushes you to feel like your beliefs and actions are shameful and worth hiding (through arguing or “jokes”) should not be worth a penny of your time and effort. Life is way too short to mind what people might say or think. Having to mind your language takes up enough time, and it’s about time people stop feeling pressured to lie by omission just to keep the peace.

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Fig. 1: To be frank, who the fuck do you think

you are? If you have a Caucasian background,

I’m sorry to say that you don’t get that right.

I make fun of my own cultural background- like

many people of many backgrounds do- because

I have learnt to wear it like armour. In a

Western society we need it, to protect

ourselves from the insults we hear so often.

People are intimidated by what is different; we

hear it in their tone, see it in their body

language. So if we start using racial stereotypes

when we joke about ourselves, we are doing it

to ourselves first- beating them to it, and maybe

shutting them up.

If your friends trust you enough to let you join

in, go ahead; but don’t dare assume every

person of that ethnicity is okay with the same.

Fig. 2: ... You’re going to anyway. I have never

heard that sentence end with something that

isn’t extremely, uncomfortably racist.

It’s like when you start a sentence with, “I don’t

want to be offensive, but...” Everyone knows

how that ends! The worst part is that whoever

says it expects you to not be offended. “Oh,

sorry your feelings got hurt, but I said I didn’t

mean to be offensive.” Replace offensive with

racist, sexist, or many others and you get your

average douchebag.

Fig. 3: OF COURSE NOT! IT’S NOT LIKE WE’VE

BEEN CONVERSING IN ENGLISH THIS WHOLE

FUCKING TIME!