YOUR GUIDE TO CO-DEPENDENCEAnd how to overcome…

What is it? “Codependency is a dysfunctional

relationship with the self.“

Co-dependency is a pathological or addictive relationship to people, behaviors or things. It is the fallacy of trying to manage internal feelings in the external environment. It inhibits the ability to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.

Where Does it Come From? Developed as a Coping

Mechanism Dysfunctional family:

one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain or shame that is ignored or denied.

More than Just Families with Addictions

Adapted as a response to

Substance Addiction Mental illness Chronic physical illness Anger and Hostility Hyper Critical Environment Physical or Emotional Neglect Any Kind of Abuse

Symptoms Care Taking Low Self Worth Repression Controlling Behaviors Denial Poor Boundaries Exaggerated Sense of Responsibility Fear of Being Alone

What they learn… It's not okay to talk about problems Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to

yourself Communication is best if indirect; one person acts as

messenger between two others; known in therapy as triangulation

Be strong, good, right, perfect Make us proud beyond realistic expectations Don't be selfish Do as I say not as I do It's not okay to play or be playful Don't rock the boat

The Disconnected Brain Limbic System- the

primitive memory and emotion center.

The Prefrontal Cortex- the reasoning, evaluative center.

The Healing Space

The Upside Never accepting

responsibility Being the Special One Feeling needed Being admired as a

saint

The Down Side Intimacy problems Hyper vigilance (a

heightened awareness for potential threat/danger)

Physical illness related to stress

Broken Relationships 

What a Cute Little Idol…Does it have a name?

Creator

Creation

Worship

Overcoming Co-dependency Self discovery, self

awareness, pulling away from care-taking behaviors, and being responsible for other’s moods, happiness or well being.

CR, Co-dependents Anonymous.

Education about the cycle of addiction

What A Recovered Co-Dependent Looks Like

Able to… Identify his own needs and make

a plan to meet those needs. Learn and practice good self

care. Set boundaries with love and

respect. Stay Connected without

enmeshment Sit with the discomfort of being

alone Assert his needs and desires Teach others how to respect him.

True Intimacy True intimacy is when you

are able to hold your own experience and feelings, allowing the other to hold their own experience and feelings with no fear or attempt of controlling, changing or judging the other.

To find out more…

Michelle Hollomon,

LMHCCounselor, Coach,

Author

Eastside Counseling & Coaching

8201 164th Ave NE, Suite 200

Redmond, WA

Ph: 425-999-9470

www.counselingtheeastside.com