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BUILDS HAPPY HOMESwomansera.comVol 45, Issue No. 1112

APRIL 2021

3414 185 Artic

lesA FRIENDLY ADVICE NANDINI KUMAR

LIFE AS A TEEN HIGHOR LOW?A. KARTIKEYAN

70

Cookery

DRESS TO IMPRESSRICHA GOEL

NEW FAMILY FAVORITE!

● Chandrakala

● Gatta

● Ghevar

● Hara Bhara Kabab

● Kalakand

● Ker Sangri

● Matar Kachori

● Methi Muthia

● Plain Khakra

● Potli Samosa

● Ring Dhokla (Corn Filling)

● Till Khoya Laddo

TECH SAVVYTEENS AND PARENTSHIMSHIKHA SHUKLA

36SWEET MELODY ADITI MAHESHWARI

44 GETTING LOST INCORN MAZEHIMSHIKHA SHUKLA

46 AYURSOMAAYURVEDA ROYALRETREAT

51 STOP ABDICATINGOWN YOURAMAZEMENT!ADITI MAHESHWARI

59 EXPERIENCE THEDIFFERENCE WITHSCULPT INDIA

60 THE LURE OFYESTERYEARSREEMA BANSAL MEHTA

68 ALZHEIMER’S FATE THROUGH ANEXCEPTIONAL WOMANRAM SRIDHAR

78 LADIES, DON’TIGNORE ABNORMALBLEEDING!DR. V. K. NIGAM

84 STRANGE MALADYSHALINI BHARDWAJ

92 NIGHTMARESA REFLECTIONCHARUTA MALSHE

94 LIFE AS ANYMPHOMANIAC!RAMA

96 SHOPAHOLICS :BEWARE OF SHOPPINGSPREESSANTOSH PATTANAIK

100 RARE IS STRONGSUJATHA RAO

104 DIMOND MININGIN INDIAG.V. JOSHI

62FROM SWEAT-CENTRIC TOBREATH-CENTRICMUNIZA TARIQ

The names of characters used in allfiction and semi-fiction articles arefictitious.

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Features

Fash

ion

Jew

eller

y 28

EXPERIMENTAL GLAM!

40 A TYPICAL TEENAGERSUJATHA RAO

56 THE SMOKELESS BLUE FLAMELEILA RAU

88 FOOD FOR LOCKDOWNMUNIZA TARIQ

106 THE TRUTH BEHIND MEMORIES JASLEEN KAUR SETHI

PRETTY AND PLUM!

INDIAN ROYALTY

16 VACATION TIME (POEM)32 TODDLER TRENDS48 PERSONAL PROBLEMS50 TEENACHE58 DRIFTING (POEM)66 KITCHEN QUERIES67 BEAUTY QUERIES83 YOUR BODY91 I AM PREGNANT99 CHILD CHALLENGES103 MY DAUGHTER IS

MY SON (POEM)

42 HOW I MET MY HUSBAND

87 MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE AS BRIDE

110 THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET

112 HOW I WAS DUPED 114 AS YOU SAY

Woman’s Era ● April 2021 5

The life of a teenager seems to

change daily. One minute ateen seems interested in a

new sport, topic in school, or typeof music, only to completely shiftgears the next. Constantly exposedto new ideas, social situations, andpeople, teenagers work to developtheir personalities and interestsduring this time of great change.

UnExcited?Many teenagers find class and

school work “unexciting” or“pointless”, and report they don'tfeel motivated or challenged by thematerial. According to “The SilentEpidemic,” a report from CivicEnterprises, most students drop outof school because they are“uninterested” in the material.

And of the students whodropped out of school, most werenot failing students. In fact, many ofthe students had C averages orbetter, and indicated that if theyhad felt like it, they could havegraduated from high school withoutmuch trouble.

Down Days in Teen LifeMaybe it's the bad weather, or

the disappointing grades on a hardtest, but some days teenagers justact uninterested in life or school.But these symptoms often passquickly, as teens move on to newschool subjects, or meet withfriends to distract themselves fromwhat bothered them at themoment.

But if a teenager displayssymptoms of depression for morethan two consecutive weeks, itmight point to something beyondnormal teenage mood swings. Avariety of factors cause teens tofeel “down” and depressed. Thenegative events – both within therealms of family and friends –greatly affect a teen's mentalhealth. Those who encounter bothnegative interpersonal andachievement events will likely sufferfrom lower self-esteem, which actsas a significant barrier to treatingdepression. Teens who do notreceive proper care are at higherrisk for self-medicating throughdrugs and other high-risk behaviorsthat put their futures on the line.

Teenagers consider developingfriendships and engaging in socialsituations as some of the mostimportant aspects of adolescence,so when problems arise in theseareas, teenagers feel hurt, stressed,and rejected. Most of thesesituations happen in the school

setting, so it's only fitting for theschool counselor to be the primarysource of relief for these stresses.School counselors help teenagers tobalance their social and academiclives, while providing guidance andadvice about the future.

Dealing With ItParents need to provide these

rules, while also remaining flexibleand respectful of the growingteen's need for independence. Evenif a parent doesn't enjoy the musichis or her teen listens to, it'sunlikely that the choice of music willprevent that teen from entering agood college, or lead to healthconsequences. However, if thatteen is drinking alcohol and driving,parents must enact strictpunishments to teach that there areconsequences for poor choices thatcome with increased freedom.

Parents who do not consistentlyenforce their set rules run the riskof losing credibility with theirteenager. Parents withoutcredibility will likely see most oftheir rules broken, and face an “out-of-control teen,” who doesn'trespect their rules, their lifestyles,or their wishes.

During adolescence, teenagersdevelop emotionally, cognitively,and physically. These changes aren'twithout challenges, but educationprofessionals, family members,counselors, and psychologists areavailable to help the teens navigatethis difficult period.

Dealing with ups and downsBy A. Kartikeyan

High or Low?

Life as a Teen!

We

TEENS WHO DO NOTRECEIVE PROPER CAREARE AT HIGHER RISKFOR SELF-MEDICATINGTHROUGH DRUGS ANDOTHER HIGH-RISKBEHAVIORS THAT PUTTHEIR FUTURES ON THELINE.

CinePlex

Nora Fatehi is a commonname in the industry nowand no one can stop from

grooving to the beats of her dancenumbers. She rose to fame withthe song Dilbar and has neverlooked back. But her journey fromCanada to India hasn’t been aseasy as it seems on the surface. Inan interview shared by Brut India,Nora Fatehi got emotional as sherecalled all her struggles andtraumatic experience. “It wasnothing like that. I had the biggestshock of my life, the biggest slap inthe face,” she said. She talkedabout meeting vicious people,who stole her passport, afterwhich she was deported. She hadto go back to Canada and peoplelaughed at her and asked why shewent to India in the first place.

Nora Fatehi Couldn’t Stop Her Tears WhileTalking About Her Bollywood Struggles, “I Had The Biggest Slap On The Face”

Vidya Balan has had quite aniconic career in theBollywood industry. She

recently recalled how she wasworried about her family reactingto the infamous movie, ‘The DirtyPicture’. She also took to revealingher mother and father’s reaction tothe film, as they came out after thescreening. She told The Times ofIndia, “We have had support; wewere never judged. For example,during the screening of The DirtyPicture, I was worried about howthey would react and was waitingoutside the screening room duringthe interval. But when they cameout of the screening, my fatheractually clapped and said, ‘I didn’tsee my daughter anywhere in thefilm’. And my mother cried whenthe movie ended. She said that notfor a moment she feels that Ilooked cheap, which is a hugecompliment was coming from her.”

“Dad clapped, mom cried”: Vidya Balan on her parents’ reactions to‘The Dirty Picture’

From Bollywood...

Saif Ali Khan and KareenaKapoor welcomed theirsecond child on 21 February.

Kareena Kapoor gave birth to ababy boy via C-section delivery.Now, it has been more than aweek since the arrival of Taimur’syounger brother and everyone iseagerly waiting to get a glimpse ofthe newborn. Sadly, people willnot get to see Saif and Kareen’ssecond child as they’ve decided tokeep him out of the public eye. Aclose friend of Kareena has shutdown the reports and said, “This isjust desktop conjecture. Mediahounds know that anything onTaimur’s brother will sell. So theymake up harmless stories aboutSaif and Kareena and their baby,when in fact they’ve decided tokeep their second Son completelyout of the public eye,” says thefriend.

Priyanka Chopra Opens Up On GettingNegativity From ‘Own Community’, “NoticeA Sense Of Cynicism For No Reason…”P

riyanka Chopra Jonas is inthe news lately after thelaunch of her memoir titled

Unfinished. In the book, she hasshared some hidden details of herpersonal life which many of uswere unaware of until we readthe book. In a recent interview,Priyanka Chopra talked about thenot-so-welcome response she hasreceived from the South Asiancommunity. Talking to the BBC,Priyanka said, “I do notice a senseof protectiveness from a lot ofpeople but also a sense ofcynicism from a lot of people anda sense of negativity from a lot ofpeople that have known me for areally long time. Picking on me forno reason…”

Kareena Kapoor And Saif Ali Khan HaveDecided To Follow Virat Anushka’sParenting Tip: Will Keep Second Son OutOf Public Eye

Ananya Pandey has been atthe receiving end oftrolling and criticism since

the day she made her entry intothe glamor world. In a recentinterview, Ananya Pandey openedup about getting body-shamed forbeing skinny. She was quotedsaying, “People used to say I looklike a boy, flat screen. At that timeit did hurt because those are theyears where you are forming self-confidence. You are learning tolove yourself and someone else ispulling you down when you reallystart doubting yourself.” Ananyafurther added, “Now, I amreaching a point where I amfocusing on accepting myself. Ifthat is sorted and that is myfoundation then nothing can hurtme since I am at peace with myselfand I love myself.”

Mahesh Bhatt is consideredone of the mostcontroversial people in

Bollywood, especially when itcomes to relationships. In an oldinterview with Stardust, PoojaBhatt revealed that she resentedSoni Razdan and considered her tobe someone who snatched herfather away. Pooja was quotedsaying, “He never hid anythingfrom me. Once I was fall asleep andat around one-thirty in themorning, he woke me up from mydeep slumber and told me, ‘PoojaI’m seeing another woman. I’mhaving an affair with her and I wantyou to know first’. This was evenbefore my mom knew of it. So itshows how open and honest he iswith me.” She also stated that shehated Soni Razdan for ‘snatchingaway’ Mahesh Bhatt. “There usedto be times when I used to flare upat the very mention of her name,”she expressed.

Pooja Bhatt On The Time When She Hated Father Mahesh Bhatt’s SecondWife Soni Razdan

Ananya Pandey On Struggling With Body-Shaming For Being Skinny, “People Said ILook Flat Screen”

Kangana Ranaut is not new tocontroversies. She finds herway into the news in some

way or the other, the recent onebeing her remark on femaleachievers for wearing torn jeans.We think Kangana forgot thatTwitter can be merciless at times,and that trolling knows no limits.Kangana boasted as she tweeted,“Appreciation tweet for ancientwomen who not only representedtheir individuality but their entirecivilization, cultures, and nations.Today if such achievers are to beclicked they will all wear tornAmerican jeans and rags likeblouses, representing nothing butAmerican marketing.”

Kangana Ranaut Shames FemaleAchievers For Wearing Torn AmericanJeans, Gets Trolled For Wearing TheSame Herself

Raveena Tandon Completes 30 Years InBollywood, Says “I am In This Industry ByDefault, Never Wanted To Become An Sctor” R

aveena Tandon got candidabout her feelings of neverwanting to become an actor.

She is of the belief that she had nochoice, but to become an actor.Since then, it’s been three decadesfor Raveena, and she is doingpretty well for the most of it. Shelaughs and says, “It makes me feellike some ancient veteran. Whenyou say it out to yourself that it’sbeen 30 years you have been doingthis, it doesn’t feel like that. Everynew film or show or scene I do, Istill have butterflies in my stomach.I am still learning there is so muchnew technology; one is always alearner till the end. That’s the wayit is.” She actress continued, “I amin this industry by default, I neverwanted to be an actress.”

Katrina Kaif and RanbirKapoor fell for each otherwhen they were shooting

for Ajab Prem Ki Gajab Kahani.However, the two broke up afterdating for 6 long years and thenews of their breakup came asshock for the fans. While break-ups come with a lot of stress andemotional baggage, in Ranbir’scase, it was a monetary loss too. Asource close to Ranbir’s familyhad told Bollywoodlife, “Ranbir’sbreak-up is going to cost himfinancially. He will lose about Rs 21crore after moving out from thehouse he shared with Katrina.” Itis said that Ranbir and Katrina hadalso invested a lot in theirpenthouse, where they wereliving in.

Ranbir Kapoor Had To Pay A Big Price ForBreakup With Katrina Kaif: It Cost Him Rs 21 Crore?

Anusha Dandekar Opens On ReceivingRacist Remarks In Australia, I Was Called“Dark Milk Chocolate”

Now VJ Anusha Dandekar,who also happens to be starKaran Kundra’s ex-

girlfriend, has also opened up onfacing racial discrimination for hercolour. In an interview withKoimoi, the actress shared adisheartening incident of facingracism in Australia during her stay.Anusha was quoted saying, “I’vegone through my share of bullyingin Australia as I grew up there.Everybody thinks ‘Oh, what do youknow about being brown?’ InAustralia, I was brown, very brown.I would be called dark milkchocolate or chocolate milk andthings like that. I was often teasedlike that when I was younger.”

Arjun Kapoor Finally Reveals His FeelingAbout Falling In Love With Much OlderMalaika Arora

Arjun Kapoor revealed hisfeelings about falling inlove with Malaika Arora.

During the chat show Koffee WithKaran, Arjun Kapoor had gottencandid about his relationship withMalaika Arora and how he’s inlove with her, enjoying the feelingof having someone to lean on to.The actor said, “No I am notsingle, it has to fall into place.There’s a lot that happened in thefamily and my life in the last fewmonths, and it has helped megain perspective.” Arjun furtheradded, “Last six months havetaught me more about life than Iimagined. I was just doing theright thing at one point in timeand then I realised it hassnowballed into something waymore relevant and important inlife. I finally feel like I have asense of belonging and a family.”

It’s safe to call Kangana a‘Controversy Queen’ at thispoint. She is sure to turn heads

and have eyes rolled as soon as shetweets something. The fact thatshe was comparing herself toHollywood actors like Meryl Streepand Gal Gadot didn’t sit well withthe internet. Once again, Kanganawas subjected to a lot of memesand trolling. Kangana tweeted,“Massive transformation alert, Thekind of range I display as aperformer no other actress on thisglobe has that right now, I haveraw talent like Meryl Streep forlayered character depictions but Ican also do skilled action andglamour like Gal Gadot #Thalaivi#Dhaakad“

Kangana Ranaut Says, “I Have RawTalent Like Meryl Streep, Can Also DoSkilled Action Like Gal Gadot”

We

How to Save Your Husband From Your Family. By Nandini Kumar

How wonderful it would be ifall the relationships in ourlives just clicked together

perfectly like the pieces of a jigsawpuzzle! When our families gettogether on holidays or for somefunctions, how we wish we couldgossip with our sisters, spend timewith mothers and enjoyed ourfamily reunions without anystressful background track runningin our minds over and over again.However, in reality, many familygatherings, dinners and parties

which ought to be full of warmth,love and joy, turn out to beuncomfortable, stressful and full ofcold-hearted confrontations.Because now we do not comealone, we bring our spouses with us,and even in the best of families,there resides one person who canmake everyone else (your spouseincluded) uncomfortable.

As we transition from being acarefree single to a more maturemarried person, our families mustalso make space for a new member.It may be surprising, but most of thefamilies find it difficult to do so andif the new member is different fromthem, then they make sure heknows it.

A Friendly Advice

If you are facing the samedifficulty of making your spouse andyour family happy at the same time,then rest assured, you are not thefirst person of the last one to feeldisheartened.

It is one of the most commonissues that almost all marriedcouples face and like everythingelse in life, it needs to be workedupon. Yes, you can have some goodtimes with your family without yourhusband sulking in a corner. You canalso get him to enjoy the companyof your parents or siblings withoutwondering with guilt, if ‘he’s justpretending to be happy because of me’.

To begin this transformation, youmust work with your partner andreach a level where both of you feelcomfortable. The change may notbe visible overnight, but if you arediligent in your effort andsupportive of your partner, therewill be a great difference the nexttime both of you show up for afamily dinner.

Here are five easy ways to helpyou get started:

Be a team: In his book ‘Wired forlove’, author Stan Tatkin introducesa beautiful and very effectiveconcept of ‘Couple Bubble’. It is animaginary bubble in which two lovingpartners almost always stay in. It is apact or a guarantee between thepartners stating, we come first. Yes,neither you nor I, but we. It is a greatway to see the world as a team andtake actions for the benefit of bothits members. Most often, womencomplain that their husbands avoid avisit to their wives’ families; whatthese wives fail to see, however, isthat the husband is not as close or ascomfortable with the members asshe is. He needs her guidance andassurance to deal with all these newpeople. If the wife, instead ofcomplaining, stands by his side,helping him steer lear of difficultsituations, then getting hiscooperation at other times would aseasy as a pie.

Let your family know that you arenot single anymore: Family members,


especially siblings, have a hard timeadjusting to the fact that now theyare part of your ‘extended family’and not the ‘immediate family’. So, ifthey make plans for you withoutasking or decide for you withoutincluding your husband, then politelybut firmly, say “let me talk to myhusband and I’ll you know”. This willdo two things: firstly, it will let yourfamily know that they cannot dragyou into everything they come upwith and, secondly, the respect you

FAMILY MEMBERS,ESPECIALLY SIBLINGS,HAVE A HARD TIMEADJUSTING TO THEFACT THAT NOW THEYARE PART OF YOUR‘EXTENDED FAMILY’AND NOT THE‘IMMEDIATE FAMILY’.SO, IF THEY MAKEPLANS FOR YOUWITHOUT ASKING ORDECIDE FOR YOUWITHOUT INCLUDINGYOUR HUSBAND, THENPOLITELY BUT FIRMLY,SAY “LET ME TALK TOMY HUSBAND AND I’LLYOU KNOW”.

Sharat Chandra is a fashion andglamour photographer and

film producer from Mumbai. Hehas shot many fashion brandsand editorials. He has developedan individual style that’s artisticand glamorous. He is known forhis unconventional lighting andangles.

Please follow his Instagramhandle.@Sharatchandraphotography

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LEADING FASHIONAND GLAMOURPHOTOGRAPHER

activities that may be going on.Hold his hand and touch him on theshoulder every now and then. Youcan also fix his plate at a familydinner to show affection.

If your partner feelsoverwhelmed then respect hisdecision and happily end theevening early. Thank him forcoming with you and being so goodto everyone. Next time, he will bemore comfortable because he feelsappreciated for his efforts.

As they say, ‘a little goes longway’, these small but importantgestures on your part assure yourhusband that you are on his sideand not against him. If your familysees that you respect and love yourhusband in every situation, theywill start to love and respect himtoo. On the other hand, if youblame him for ruining a familygathering or sulking in a cornerwhen everyone else is happy, he isbound to feel bitter and cheated.Do remember to preserve your‘couple bubble’ all through and letyour husband feel through youractions, that for you, “we” comesfirst.

16 Woman’s Era ● April 2021

Vacations are wonderful timeSpent in serenity and blissWith friends and familiesAway from the work and worriesAway from the daily drudgeriesA few good moments of pleasureOf relaxation and leisureTo rejuvenate the minds and bodiesBattered by life's conflicts and worriesIn the fast pace of modern lifeAmidst everyday struggles and strifeVacations are much needed breaksTo keep the mind body on right trackSo once in a whileWhile our days are still full of sunshineWe need sweet dreamsFor a little leisure and rejuvenation.

– Vijaylaxmi Sarmah.

VacationTime

We

show to your spouse will go a longway and help him adjust with yourfamily better.

Never make your husband the‘bad guy’: As tempting as it maylook to get out of a tough situationquickly, the repercussions of callingyour spouse the bad person aregrave. If you are in the habit ofblaming your partner for all thedifficult decisions you have to make,your family will surely startresenting him. On the other hand, ifyou inform your family about yourplans, which do not match withthem, using the words like, ‘we’, ‘us’ and ‘together’, it will help themunderstand that you value andrespect your spouse’s decisions. Asa result of which, they will value andrespect your partner as well.

Honour the privacy that ahusband and wife share: Somepeople have an urgent need to telltheir families everything that isgoing on in their marriage. From thesmallest of fights to the biggest ofsecrets, everything is out there foreveryone to see and talk about.

Your may feel that your family isbeing supportive when everyonesympathetically listens to you butsoon you will find them ganging upagainst your husband. They may notsay anything but will find ways toshow their disgust through theirbehaviour. Your clueless husband,who has done nothing to deservethis cold treatment, may be leftwith a bad taste in his mouth. Yourfamily does not know your spouseas much as you do and so, naturally,it will not be easy for them to let goof the hurt he caused you when you,on the other hand, could be over itin 10 minutes.

Body language: When you arewith your partner in a gatheringwhich is made up of people only youknow about, then it becomesimperative that you check on himevery now and then. It is not alwayspossible to ask what’s botheringhim but you can use your bodylanguage to your advantage. Besure to look him in the eyes to readunspoken words, introduce him toall the relatives, and include him inall the conversations or other


These days, with smart phonesthat do it all in addition tocomputers and tablets,

teenagers have round-the-clockaccess to, well, everyone andeverything: texting, Snapchat,YouTube, Twitter, email, friends,foes, strangers and much, muchmore.

And, let’s face it: we parentsoften have no idea what ourteenagers are up to. These devicesare not hanging on our kitchenwalls. Teenagers can take themwherever they want—and they do.Of course, there are upsides to allthis. Thanks to cell phones, we canreach our teenagers when we needto and, more importantly, they canreach us.

But experts warn that there arepitfalls too. Spending too muchtime online can mean missing outon sleep or neglecting schoolwork.Social media and teenagers haveproven to be a volatile mix. Andteenagers sometimes make poordecisions with technology—such astexting while driving or sexting—that can have severe consequences.

Teens have surpassed all otherage groups in their use ofconnected devices (e.g.,smartphone, Xbox, iPod, andlaptop). While the rest of us haveadopted technology as a convenientnew tool to make life easier, today’steens have embraced it as a way oflife. So, who better to teach techthan teens?

● Teens are naturally adept atusing computer interfaces and havea knack for troubleshooting (a skillthat eludes many adults who freezewhen confronted with a technologyglitch).

● Perhaps the most importantlesson teens can teach us istechnical jargon. For example,dropping articles is absolutely

responsibility and boundaries to ourchildren when it comes to ourelectronics?

● Talk to your kids — explain tothem why they need to limit use anddevelop a plan together so you canboth be on board.

● Set limits — for example nophone use after 8 p.m. Tell themthey have to maintain grades, andcomplete homework before gettingon social networks. Follow throughwith consequences if they breakrules.

● Encourage outside activities —try to talk your teen into taking awalk with friends to the park, orplan a bike ride to get a specialtreat; encourage sports.

● Set a good example — it is easyas adults to get caught up intechnology but if your childconstantly sees you on your devicesthen of course they think it is ok.Create no-phone zones, such as thedinner table or bedrooms. Leavethe phones in the house and go playa game outside or go for a bike ride.Have a game night. Find ways tospend time together as a familyminus technology.

But it’s important to supportthem to balance that with physicalexercise, learning, and other typesof play, and to make sure they leaveenough time in their week for face-to-face time with people...Your teenis never too old to go for a screen-free walk with you, or have screen-free dinners around a table!

SavvyTech Teens And Parents

Raising balanced kids In a hyper-connected world. By Himshikha Shukla

We

critical. Never ever precede yourreference to a social networkingsite with the word "the" as in "theFacebook" or "the Twitter."

● Teens speak the language oftexting. It’s full of funkyabbreviations and colloquialismsthat will serve you well to learn.

It’s All About BalanceWe live in what is quickly

becoming a digital age. Cell phones,computers, Facebook, Wii, and X-Box are words even the youngestchildren know. How do we teach

WHILE THE REST OF USHAVE ADOPTEDTECHNOLOGY AS ACONVENIENT NEWTOOL TO MAKE LIFEEASIER, TODAY’S TEENSHAVE EMBRACED IT ASA WAY OF LIFE. SO,WHO BETTER TO TEACHTECH THAN TEENS?

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Step 1

Step 4

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Step 3Step 2

Step 6

ExperimentalGlam!Easy Makeup Idea forYour Summer Parties.

Applying a light layer of concealerunder the brow with a brush orlightly blending it with your fingerwill bring instant shape anddefinition to your eyebrows.

It's always important to payattention to your arch, as thisis a crucial focal point foryour brows. Prep lids for any eye look with a

matte base shadow that matchesthe lightest part of your face.

Step 5

Dust the pigmentall over lids and upto the brow bonewith the help ofbrush.

Apply eyelashes.

Prepare yourskin by applyingmoisturizer.

Then apply colourcorrector concealer.

Makeup Artist: Chetna Madan Model: AsmitaPhotographer: Ramesh Sharma

Step 8

Step 9

Step 10With the help of beauty blender,blend your concealer.

Apply foundation shade thatsuits your complexion all overyour face.

Bronzer should be appliedaround the edges of the faceand under the cheekbones.

Step 13

Step 12After youreyelashes arecurled, grabyour tube ofKajal.

For even lipstickapplication, start at theCupid’s bow and extendout to the corners of themouth before blotting.

Your party glammakeup is ready.

Step 11Pat the colouredblush onto theapples of yourcheeks.

Everyday

Cute outfit for your little one.

Let your littlefashionista slay inher cute outfit.

When styled withshoes, your darling issure to rock the showin this Dungaree.

Combination ofgreat style &comfort. Pictureyour little girl inthis beautifuloutfit.

Crafted usingpremium qualityfabric; ThisJumpsuit will bevery soft to theskin.


We

Dress toImpress!Tips for the first date. By Richa Goel

Planning for the first date andgetting nervous? Well, it canbe fun and exciting,

depending upon “YOU”; theinitiatives you are taking to connectwith each other. Have you plannedout something or still searching forthe ways how to impress yourpartner?

Well, if you are going for the firstdate and keen to know how toreact, here are some key points apartner should keep in mind whilegoing for the first date. Remember,you should focus on spendingquality of time instead of quantityof time.

Someone said it right- The firstimpression is the last impression.Make the best use of time and aimsto hit the person for anothermeeting.

Here, it goes-Carry a small token of love: A

small gift, chocolates, greetingcards or flowers for the partner willshow your affection and kindgesture. What could be moreamazing than starting your day witha wide smile on your partner’s face?Memories are something that lastsforever.

Make them feel comfortable:Please do not offend your

partner by asking awkward orpersonal questions. Startconversation with the hobbies,likes, dislikes, friends, family, career,workplace etc.

Choose a cozy place: You shouldplan out where to go instead ofselecting random places. The placeshould not be too dark or too noisywith loud music that you can’t evensee and hear each other. Go to acafé with proper lightings and asoothing atmosphere.

Share your experiences: Try toget open up with your partner bysharing your experiences, makethem laugh as sharing makes bondstronger.

Be a good listener: Do not makeyour date boring, one side talkalways loses the interest of theother partner. So, give the chanceto your partner also to speak andexpress their point of view.

Focus on your partner instead oflaptops and mobiles: Mobiles arethe priorities in everybody’s life butshould be kept aside when it comesto your partner. Do not make themfeel ignorant; these small thingsmay offend the other person.

Do not act as a Dominatingpartner: For God's sake; don’t startyour list of expectations from yourpartner. A partner should be caring,loving, understanding and the onewho respects you. You should notconsider a partner as a servant whowill fulfill your desires.

Do not sound desperate: Pleasedo not try to get close to yourpartner that he/she may regretmeeting you. Do not try to getphysical, as they may feeluncomfortable.

Do not be over-anxious: It’s okayto feel a little nervous when youmeet someone for the first time.But take your time, make yourselfcomfortable and try to gain trust bydoing easy-go-on-mode talks.

Do not forget to drop her safelyback home: The most importantthing is that your partner reachestheir respective home safely. Dropthem to their home or safe place.

In the end what matters themost is finding a suitable partnerwho matches your understandinglevel. If you find that partner whichis suitable for you never ever letthat person go. Remember basicwords like thank you, sorry, please.Use these words politely, not forjust the sake of saying. Spendquality time with each other so thatyou may have memories to cherishin the future! Wishing You HappyTimes With Your Loved Ones!

PLEASE DO NOT OFFENDYOUR PARTNER BYASKING AWKWARD ORPERSONAL QUESTIONS.START CONVERSATIONWITH THE HOBBIES,LIKES, DISLIKES,FRIENDS, FAMILY,CAREER.

Music is not a limited spherein the case of energyfrequency. Every rhythm

has a specific special effect on ourbody. There is nothing morepowerful than a musical connection.It’s a consciousness in itself. Itconnects you with the higher realmswith ease and depth.

Music and Your Brain! By A. Maheshwari

Music is a worthwhile mysterythat keeps evolving itself.

Music plays a role in braindevelopment, mood and health.Music triggers pleasure centers thatrelease dopamine, aneurotransmitter that makes youjoyful. Its effect is quick, it triggersanticipation, helping recap the pastand predict the future. Brainnetworking creates expectations ofhow the music should sound. Anysort of negative feeling reduces onhearing a good piece of music. As aresult, it helps in treatingdepression, anxiety, nervoustemperament syndromes, etc. Itboosts pro-immunity antibodies,stimulates endorphins, oxytocin andimproves our mood and energyfrequency.

Learning a new instrumentcreates new neural connectionsthat build on each other and createan optimal environment forlearning. It enhances your cognitivesphere. It improves your auditoryprocessing, learning, and memory.Promotes wellness reduces stress

and gives peace. It’s the source ofthe most relaxing experiencewithout having to travel for.Vocabulary and Nonverbalreasoning skills are enhanced due tolearning a new instrument.

Does musical genre matter?Different genres have different

impacts. Sounds interesting toknow.

● Classical (Chamber) Music-Enhances dopamine secretion andsynaptic function, learning, andmemory. Also improves visualattention, encourages harmony.

● Heavy Metal- Elicits a sense ofidentity and encourages connectingwith community development.

● Pop/Rock- Increases endurancecapabilities and enhances physicalperformances. Energy booster butalso has a great distracting effecton us.

● Punk- Anti-authoritarianideologies are encouraged, culturalrevolt, expressing youthfulrebellion.

● Folk- Traditional ballads, tune-family as rightly called, livingtradition of a community.

● Rap (Rhythm & Poetry) -Invigorates beauty and intensity ofemotions, language, processingwith ease, motor functions, itmotivates.


Your Brain on Music

LEARNING A NEWINSTRUMENT CREATESNEURAL CONNECTIONSTHAT BUILD ON EACHOTHER AND CREATE ANOPTIMALENVIRONMENT FORLEARNING. ITENHANCES YOURCOGNITIVE SPHERE. IT’STHE SOURCE OF THEMOST RELAXINGEXPERIENCE WITHOUTHAVING TO TRAVELFOR. IT IMPROVESAUDITORYPROCESSING.

Listening to music causes the brain to release dopamine,a feet-good chemical.

Music with a strong beat can stimulate brainwaves. Slow beatsencourage the slow brainwavesthat are associate with hypnoticor meditative states. Fasterbeats may encourage more alertand concentrated thinking. Music occupies the

mind with somethingfamiliar ans soothing.

Music has the abilityto after breathingand heart rate.

Music acts as a distractorfocusing the attention away fromnegative stimuli to somethingpleasant and encouraging.

Music also has the powerto improve your stateof mind. This helps keepthings like depressionand anxiety at bay.

Music can helpreduce theperception of pain.

at the same time, it’s morefavorable to play music than nomusic at all. The circumspect is toplay unfamiliar, jarring,uninteresting music while driving tokeep your senses alert.

Music and exerciseA good piece of music helps in

inundating out our brain's cries oflassitude, though this is mostlybeneficial for the low andmoderate-intensity workout. Duringhigh-intensity workouts, music isn’tas powerful at pulling our brain'sattention away from the pain ofexercise. Fast temp music increasesthe cortisol levels, while calmingmusic has the opposite effect.Nonetheless, exercising makes usjoyful and healthier and music addsto the experience of being happyand healthy.

Music and technologyTechnological advancements

have enabled a fashion techcompany CuteCircuit to design thesound shirt- tactile apparel thatallows the deaf to feel the music ontheir skin using a series of sensors

that are embedded into the textile.The soundshirt’s idiosyncrasy is its30 micro-actuators implanted in thecloth, which enables these sensorsto translate the sound of each pieceof music into a tactual dialect. Inthis way a deaf person can enjoy acomplete musical experience; this isthe power of technology.

The shirt design reveals therelationship frequency betweenvibrations and sound waves. Also,the sound shirt has derived its namefrom hugs shirt, the world’s firsthaptic telecommunication wearableinvented by CuteCircuit in 2002.

Music enhances productivityand creativity

Music augments the completionof routine mundane tasks. Officeworkers are more enthusiastic andare ignited with better ideas if theyare allowed to hear their choice ofmusic while working. The soundenvironment affects cognitivetasks, efficacy, stress levels, pro-social effect directly. Thus, it’s greatto exercise control over our soundenvironment.

The benefits of music onbrains

● The development ofneurophysiologic distinctionenhances literary skills.

● It is beneficial in the treatmentof chronic pain, mental disorders,autism, Alzheimer's, emotionaltrauma, dementia, etc.

● Good music enhances superiorworking memory, auditory skills,and cognitive flexibility.

● Oxytocin helps build bonds andtrust others.

● Meliorate communicationskills.

● Music revamps brain plasticityresulting in the brain's capability tochange. Flexibility to adapt oneselfto different conditions is enhanced.

● Even the newborns feelrelaxed. Music boosts energy duringbathing, exercising, yoga, etc. Helpsin relaxing the tense muscles.

● Escalate spatial intelligence. ● Strengthen brain connectivity.● Top-up’s IQ. We

Music in correlation with yourpersonality

In relation to our musicalpreferences, different genres revealdifferent personality traits.

Classical music fans are artisticbut reticent with high self-regard.Rap fans are gregarious, aplomb.Western fans are affable butnonetheless, they are hard workers.Jazz and Blues fans have high self-esteem, are creative, and genial.Reggae fans are unconventional.Opera fans are gentle and artistic,courtly and decorous. Dance fansare expressive, talented, but notgentle. Indie fans have low self-worth but are artistic and fertile atthe same time. Bollywood fans arecreative and exuberant. Chart popfans have high self-esteem, are hardworkers but not very artistic. Rockfans are resourceful, gentle, andeasy-going people but usually havelow self-esteem. Soul fans aresociable, highly dignified, ingenioushero’s and courteous.

These are general traits and thushave the potential to vary at anindividual level.

Driving and musicA study reveals that drivers make

more mistakes and driveaggressively when listening to theirfavorite piece of music because thedistraction levels are high. Although

DURING HIGH-INTENSITY WORKOUTS,MUSIC ISN’T ASPOWERFUL AT PULLINGOUR BRAIN'SATTENTION AWAYFROM THE PAIN OFEXERCISE. FAST TEMPMUSIC INCREASES THECORTISOL LEVELS,WHILE CALMING MUSICHAS THE OPPOSITEEFFECT.

behind me all the while,settled into her seat in ahuff. I tried to ignore hervisible frustration as I hadgotten used to herirritation with myfastidiousness which sherefers to as my OCD.

We traveled by thattrain quite frequently, asour son Abhishek wasworking for Infosys inBengaluru. SinceAbhishek generallybooked the tickets well inadvance, we were assuredof lower berths almostevery time. Unfortunatelythis time around, both ofus didn’t get the lowerberths and that hadbecome a cause ofconcern for Padma.Abhishek kept telling hismother not to worry. He

St rangeness . S. Rao

A Typical

Teenager

ShortStory

I asked Padma towa i t wh i le I w ipedthe seat c lean w i tho ld newspapers Ia lways car r ied w i thme. I la id down acoup le o fnewspaper sheetson the f l oo runderneath ourseats and gent l yp laced our luggageon top o f those .

“But you were so veryright Padma. Sheindeed a typical

teenager, thanks totechnology.”

We got into the train, assoon as the doors of ourcompartment wereopened. When we reachedour seats, I was put off bythe sight of the torn andtacky upholstery thatawaited us there.

I asked Padma to waitwhile I wiped the seatclean with old newspapersI always carried with me. Ilaid down a couple ofnewspaper sheets on thefloor underneath our seatsand gently placed ourluggage on top of those.Padma, who had beenstanding impatiently

Thanks to my wifePadma and heroverzealousness, we

reached Kachegudarailway station almost twohours before thescheduled time ofdeparture of our train. Istarted pacing theplatform impatiently whilePadma, who lovedeverything about the traintravel, sat on a benchhappily observing thegoings on in the station.To me it seemed that shereveled in the noisyatmosphere of Indianrailway stations.

After about an hour,the raucous, metallic

screech heralded thearrival of the traindragging itsdilapidated corrodediron carriages along.

said after we board thetrain, we could tryexchanging one of ourseats for a lower berth.

To my wife’s greatdisappointment, a

lady who appeared to bein her mid-seventiessettled down in thewindow seat in front of us.A few minutes later ayoung woman with aninfant child slid into theside lower berth seatcrushing Padma’s hopesof an exchange of thelower birth with either ofthem. Now the occupantof the window seat on ourberth was our last hope.

As an answer to thatlingering question in ourmind, a teenage girlhurriedly got into the seatnext to Padma just as thetrain started pulling out ofthe station. As she wastrying to catch her breath,Padma looked at me withexpectant eyes.

The girl unstrapped herbackpack and dropped itonto the compartmentfloor. She was tall andlean. As she bent over topush her bag underneaththe berth, her black hairfell onto her shoulders in anatural wave.

She was wearing ablack T shirt with “BeingHuman” written. The Tshirt was tucked into apair of faded torn bluedenim jeans.

Padma looked at thetorn part across the girl’sknees and turned her eyesaway. For the life of her,Padma could neverunderstand how such tornthings could become afashionable rage.Knowing her strong viewsin this regard, I tried tostifle a smile and turnedmy face away. Of all the

people, this girl had toland next to Padma, Imused.

The minute she gotinto her window seat, theyoung girl got busy withher mobile phone. Shehad her ear phones on andappeared to be listeningto some music. She wasalso busy texting inparallel. She had a varietyof rings on most of herfingers. Some of themhad beads of differentcolour. Her nails werelong and painted in brightpurple. But for the soundof her fingers textingaway and her intermittentgiggles, she was silentthroughout.

Padma turned towardsme and whispered “ShouldI ask her for the exchangeof berths now?”

As the girl had her earphones on, I gestured toPadma to wait for a while.But Padma would havenone of it.

Turning to the girl, shetried to pull her into aconversation by asking“Are you getting down atBengaluru?”

The girl’s head wasbent over her phone andher hair was covering herface partially. The girl,who was totally focusedon her mobile phone,acted as though she didn’thear Padma’s questionand continued with hertexting.

Padma fearedtechnology in general andused her mobile phoneonly for making andreceiving calls. She foundpeople’s obsession withmobile phones quiteloathsome. I cannot saywhether it is because ofher non-expertise withtechnology that caused it,or whether she genuinely

felt an aversion towardsmobile phones. Maybe itwas a bit of both.

“Did you see howarrogant she is! Acting asthough she didn’t hearme.” Padma spat out.

“She might not haveheard you. She has her earphones on. She seemsbusy right now. Pleasekeep quiet Padma. Itwon’t be nice if the girlhears you.” I whispered.

“You don’t have toworry about that. Like atypical teenager, she is inher own world. These daysall these young kids wantin their lives is theirphones. Nothing elsematters to them” Padmasaid sarcastically.

This has been herconstant complaint abouther own children and mylittle grandson whonormally visited us once ayear along with hisparents. I guess, the factthat she suffered fromtechno-phobia of sorts

made the matters onlyworse.

Overhearing what shesaid, the lady in the frontseat laughed at Padma’swords and Padma toojoined her. Both the ladiesstarted talking to eachother animatedlythereafter. As they startedexchanging some tidbitsabout their lives, I feltrelieved that Padma founda kindred soul in the lady,turning her attention awayfrom the girl.

In a few minutes, the TCwalked into ourcompartment to check onour tickets. When the girlfailed to respond even tothe TC, Padma tapped thegirl on her arm. Pulling outher ear phones, the girlstared at Padma.

Noticing that the TCwas standing impatientlywith an outstretchedhand, she smiledembarrassedly and hurriedover to show her e-ticketfrom her phone. Once theTC left, she got busy withher phone once again.

By now, Padma hadgiven up on the girl. Shegot back to her happychatter with the old ladyonce again. Around 8 PM,we decided to have ourdinner. The lady in thefront seat offered somehomemade pickle toPadma and Padma offeredher the Potato curry shehad made. Meanwhile,the girl took out a smalltiffin box from inside herhand bag and ate herdinner quietly.

By now Padma hadreconciled to getting ontothe middle berth. Ataround 8.45 PM, she wassurprised when the girltapped on her left armlightly.

As Padma stared at her


Padma fearedtechnology ingenera l and usedher mobi le phoneonly for making andreceiv ing ca l l s . Shefound people ’sobsess ion withmobi le phones quiteloathsome. Icannot say whetheri t i s because of hernon-expert i se withtechnology thatcaused i t , orwhether shegenuine ly fe l t anavers ion towardsmobi le phones.

One Fine Day This incident took place about

49 years ago. At that time I wasunmarried and had just completedmy masters from a reputed collegein Lucknow. Since I was a hostellerand was away from my native placeMahoba (a small town in UP, havingno recreation facilities those days) Iwanted to finish some of myfavourite movies before leavingLucknow in summer vacations.

During my college days, andeven after that, I was a fan of aHindi film hero and planned to seesome of his old and new movies.One day I managed to get a ticketfor a movie in which my favouritehero had a special role and wasreleased recently. When I enteredthe theatre the film had just startedand with the help of the

doorkeeper, I occupied the seat.After a while, I realised that a

young boy was sitting next to me(of course, 2of his friends were alsothere) the film was very interesting.After half an hour or so there was asudden power breakdown whichirritated the audience and theystarted shouting and whistling.

In our row, almost everyonestarted moving towards the door inorder to relax for a while. At thatvery minute, someone pushed backthe girl next to her and like a chainreaction one started falling on theother and ultimately the boy next tome lost his balance and leaned onme. Since I was about to stand up,he almost sat in my lap. At thatmoment the power supply wasrestored and the boy, who was veryhandsome and smart, said 'sorry'with a blush. I accepted his apologywith a smile.

Three-four days after theincident another new picture wasreleased with the same hero. Thistime I planned to see that movie onthe first day and the first show. So Iwent to the cinema hall 2hoursbefore the scheduled time to standin the queue. But to my surprise,

there was a very long queue and Ihad a feeling that I would not getthe ticket for the show.

When I glanced at the queueagain another surprise was awaitingme. The same boy, with his friends,was in the queue. He smiled when Ilooked at him. That gave me somecourage and I moved towards him.Hesitantly, I requested him to getone more ticket if possible, as thewoman queue was very long. Hereadily agreed.

Just 10 days were left for mydeparture from Lucknow andsuddenly my parents asked me toaccompany them to one of ourrelatives and see a boy as theyintended to settle my marriagebefore I returned to my first postingat Kanpur.

Holding a tray in my hand with,some sweets and samosas, I raisedmy head to see his face. Yeah! Thesame boy was sitting in front of me.We both winked at each other. Joyand surprise were writ large on ourfaces. On 2nd March 1970, we gotmarried in Kanpur, and are livinghappily since then.

–By Pushpa Bhatia

from the upper berth.Padma whispered to

me in a voice full ofremorse “I shouldn’t havepassed those adversecomments withoutknowing about hercondition.”

I nodded my head insilence feeling good aboutPadma acknowledging herslip-up so quickly. Thatwas the good thing aboutPadma. Many a time, sheaccepted her mistakes asquickly as she jumped toconclusions. My eyesturned moist, as Iwhispered back to her,“But you were so veryright Padma. She indeedis a typical teenager,thanks to technology.”

face, the girl broke into asmile. She pointed at thelower berth and indicatedthrough her gestures thatPadma could take it.

Padma, who didn’tbelieve what she saw,asked the girl in Telugu“What are you saying?”

Realising that the girlperhaps may notunderstand Telugu, sheswitched over to English ina hurry and asked her thesame question in verybasic conversationalwords.

The girl smiled at her.Pushing her hair back andcocking her head a littlesideways, she showed thehearing aid hidden behindher ear to Padma. Then

regained her composureand she answered “I willwake you up Beta.”

Then realizing that shemight not have heard it,she touched the girl’s handreassuringly and noddedher head.

The girl flashed a bigsmile at Padma andmouthed the words“Thank you aunty.”

She deftly threw herhand bag and thebackpack on to the upperberth and within secondshad dragged herself upthere. As I lowered themiddle berth and readiedours berths to lie down, Iheard the girl laughing atsomething she waswatching on her laptop

repeated the same gestureabout the lower berth toher.

Seeing the confusedexpression on Padma’sface, thinking that Padmafailed to understand whatshe was trying to say, shetyped the words “U maytake the lower berth” onher mobile and held it upto us both to see.

While Padma continuedto stare at those words asthough she wasdumbstruck, I replied“Thank you.”

She typed back “U rwelcome. Will U wake meup before Bengaluru Citystation?” and flashed itbefore us both.

By now, Padma had We


Eating corn in summer is not corny.By Himshikha Shukla

you can—and you probably should.Eating raw corn is healthy, tasty,and completely risk-free. Just makesure to source the freshest possiblecorn and clean it thoroughly beforeyou put it in your vegan dish ormunch it straight from the cob.

Boiling dissolves most of corn's(and other veggies') nutrients intothe cooking water. Instead,microwave or grill corn to retain allof its health benefits.

Miracle for those underweight:Are you underweight? And finding ithard to gain weight in a healthyway? Don’t worry, corn should dothe trick. It can be a healthyaddition to your meals if you wantto gain a few kgs. Eating junk andbad fats will only land you up withother health issues in the long run.

Healthy Skin: Corn containsVitamin C and lycopene(antioxidants) that increase theproduction of collagen and preventUV generated free radicals fromdamaging the skin. Besides beingeaten, its products like corn oil, cornstarch can be directly applied on theskin and often used as an ingredientin many cosmetic products.

Pregnancy and corn: It has anumber of benefits duringpregnancy for both mother and thebaby. Corn is rich in folic acid, andcontains zeaxanthin and pathogenicacid which reduces the risk of birthdefects in baby.

It can protect the baby frommuscular degeneration andphysiological problems. Due to itshigh fiber content, it also soothesconstipation, which is a verycommon concern for expectingmothers.

Many of us have great summermemories surrounding sweet corn.When sweet corn is ready, ourmeals take on a different look asears of corn make their way to ourplates. But there’s more to cornthan just the version on the cob.This summer, try your cooking skillswith various versions of corn.There’s nothing corny in it.

Although the yellow colorcorn/maze is very commonaround the world, did you

know that corn varieties come inmany other colors too such as red,orange, purple, blue, white andeven black. Corn or maze is a grainplant, which originated in southernMexico. The kernels of the seeds ofcorn hold the majority of nutrientsand are the most consumed parts.

If you love munching these littlegolden kernels then here are morereasons to add them to your diet.Corn may be high in sugar (sucrose),but there are several otherproperties of this grain that mustnot be overlooked.

Being a rich source of vitamins A,B, E and many minerals, it isextremely high in fibre and plays asignificant role in the prevention ofdigestive ailments like constipation.

Cooking And Eating CornIf you're still wondering if you

can eat corn raw, the answer is yes,

We

Getting lost in

Corn Maze

IF YOU LOVEMUNCHING THESELITTLE GOLDENKERNELS THEN HEREARE MORE REASONSTO ADD THEM TO YOUR DIET.

To microwave: Cut off the silksthat extend outside the husks,because they burn easily. Do not cutor open the husk itself. Arrangecorn evenly in the microwave andcook on high, 3 to 4 minutes for oneear. Allow to cool 5 minutes beforehusking and removing the silk.

To grill: After steps 1 and 2, grillthe corn in the husks 5 minutes,turning several times, and then huskand grill to color.

Amazing Corn MazeEnergy Booster: If you are an

athlete or love sweating it out in thegym, then include corn in yourmeals more often. Corn containscomplex carbohydrate which getsdigested at a slower pace, which inturn provides energy for a longerduration of time.


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sacrifice for me. But they do not understand howclose we are. Besides, my sister says that shecannot give up the pleasures of life herself andthat this is her way of helping people.

Will she let me down?Your sister probably means what she says now.

But that is no guarantee that she will feel like thisthe rest of her life. Suppose her own career does

not go well, suppose she gets married and her husbanddoes not think that it is necessary to support you the rest ofyour days, suppose she has children and wants to spendher money on them, suppose her in-laws or your parentsneed help......the list of possibilities is endless and in allthese cases, your sister may not be able to help you.

There is also the matter of your own self-respect. Doyou want to be dependent on your sister all your life? Andsuppose you get married and have children?

Presumably, your parents and friends have thought ofsuch possibilities and that is why they do not take youseriously.

It would therefore be better if you fulfil your worthwhiledream of doing social work in some other way. You couldjoin a social service organisation and be paid a salary foryour work, for instance.

IAM JUST 14, BUT I AM WRITING TO YOU BECAUSE I HAVE AN

adult problem. This is that ever since I was 11 or 12, Ihave had strong sexual desires. Initially, I satisfied

myself by masturbating, but soon, that wasn’t enough forme and I got involved with a 17-year-old boy who somehowsensed my needs. But after some months his father wastransferred and he left with his family.

Whenever I had been with him I had always beennervous that someone would find out about us and sincehe left a month ago, I have tried to do without sex. But Iam reaching the end of the tether. Is something wrongwith me? My classmates and friends are definitely notlike me.

Children, at your age may sometimes be interested insex and giggle and discuss it, but they usually do notexperiment with it. So yes, you are unusually highly sexed,but this does not mean that you are abnormal orsomething is wrong with you.

However, as you are so young, you need to learn how tocontrol yourself so that you do not have promiscuous sexor get into trouble.

For this you need to consult a in sex specialist who willguide you. A doctor can refer you to such a specialist.

You should, in the meantime, try to keep your mind offsex and on your studies, friends, and activities suitable foryour age. But do not worry needlessly. A good specialistwill definitely be able to help you.

IAM A 30-YEAR-OLD MARRIED WOMAN. I AM A VERY SOCIAlperson and as a result I have many friends. Many peopleare very particular about the people they befriend, but I

make friends very easily, even with people I have little incommon with. I think this is because I am very interested inhuman beings.

One such friend is a very simple woman who lives a fewhouses away from me. She shares none of my interests,but is a good person whom I quite like. But recently I got agreat shock when I received a letter from her husband. In ithe wrote that he “reciprocated” my love and that he hadcome to understand that I was friendly with his wife whowas barely educated, because I was attracted to him.

I was dumbfounded to read this letter and my firstreaction was to stop interacting with my friend. But shereacted to that very badly and came to my home and criedand asked me what she had done wrong that had mademe stop talking to her. I then had to make an excuse for mybehaviour. Now I do not know what to do. I cannot tellmy husband because he would be shocked and alsobecause my friend’s husband is basically a very decent manand is a good friend of my husband’s.

Please advise.Since your friend’s husband is basically a decent man,

he must have been swept off his feet by you – which isquite a compliment! Anyway, his decency will make himeasy to deal with.

You should get him alone and tell him that he hascompletely misunderstood you – that you have noromantic feelings for him and that you are sincerely fond ofhis wife. Point out that he is a friend of your husband’s andthat is another reason why you are friends with his wife.

He will certainly get the message if you say all this, butyou should also tell him that he is wrong in thinking that hiswife can be treated with disdain just because she has notstudied much. Tell him that a person’s worth depends oncharacter and in that matter, his wife is a fine person.

IAM A 21-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. I COME FROM AN ORDINARY

middle-class family, but money and all it can buy donot attract me at all. Instead, I dream of living a simple,

tension-free life, helping people. Of course, I understand that I need money for my basic

needs, but my sister who is older than me by three years,has promised me that she will always take care of my basicneeds and leave me free to help people.

I think that this arrangement will work well, but to mysurprise, my parents and all my friends, see my plan asabsurd and refuse to even discuss it with me. I think thatthey feel that it is unfair to expect my sister to make such a


Q A&Personal Problems

Have you a personal problem of any nature, which you hesitate to discuss with your family or friends? Share it with us. WE will try to help you.Address your letters to:WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.

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friends and make me the butt of jokes. Isthere any help for me? Will I just have to waittill I grow out of this habit?

Nocturnal teeth-grinding or bruxism isquite common in children and even someadults, The causes can be varied: stress andanxiety, abnormal bite, missing teeth,crooked teeth, misaligned jaw. Sometimes,sleep apnea could also be the cause.

Your dentist can prescribe a mouth guard or splintswhich will keep the teeth separated to prevent clenchingand grinding in sleep. If your teeth are misaligned, dentalcorrection could be called for.

The effects of this condition, are damage to teeth,headaches, pain in the jaws, tense jaw or facial muscles,bruising of inner cheeks, wearing off tooth enamel,etc.

If you want to go on your school trip and havepeaceful sleep, the mouth guard could be the answer.Consult a specialist and decide on the course of action.

IHAVE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND IN OUR CLASS 8, WE HAVE BEEN

FRIENDS from kindergarten. She has had a boyfriendwho is from class 12. They have been together for

three years. Two months back, they had a massive spatand split up and are now not even on talking terms. Tomy utter surprise, this boy met me last week and invitedme to his girl friend! He claims he has completely got over my friend and finds me much more attractivethan her! I asked him to give me time to consider his proposal. And am now, confused and disturbed. Ihave not told my friend about this. Please tell me what I can do.

It is entirely your call. If you accept his proposal, youwill antagonise your friend, and hurt her immensely.She will feel betrayed and cheated by you. Without adoubt ,she will distance herself from you and you willlose a relationship cemented by several years.

If you accept this boy, it could be simply because youare blown away by his praise, and your ego is getting amassive boost, and you are enjoying the feeling.

Just think, how you would feel if your friend did thiswith you.Loyalty and trust are paramount in afriendship.

Also, this boy is feckless, insensitive and uncouth toeven try to woo you, when he knows your friend will findit devastating. In fact, in all probability, he is trying tohurt his ex-friend with this plan.

It is definitely advisable, to reject his overture. It issimply not worth it. It is, however,you who have to I decide….


IAM A 17-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHOSE MARRIAGE HAS BEEN FIXED

few years ago!! Our parents are close friends anddecided that their children should marry each other.

At that time, I was innocent enough to accept theirdecision, but now, I feel trapped and resentful. Ourwedding will take place after two years. I want to tell myparents that I want to break off the engagement, butthis could also break their hearts. I have nothing againstthis boy specifically. It is just that I do not believe inarranged marriages….all my friends have boyfriends, andwill have love marriages. I am denied all this just becauseof my parents’ arbitrary action.I am confused andunhappy. I cannot even date my fiancé because he worksin New York. Please advise.

It is understandable that you feel deprived of all theexcitement of having boyfriends, dating, courting…thewhole works…because you are already spoken for. Itwould have been better if your parents had involved bothyou young people’s feelings and opinions before decidingto marry you off!

You can first explain your sentiments to your parentsso that they can take steps to help you. They could helpyou get to know your fiancé better by communicatingwith each other through skype, facetime etc. It is notdifficult to cultivate a long distance relationship witheach other with all the modern technology available tous. Do realise, he too might be keen to learn things aboutthe girl who is scheduled to be his life partner.

Also, maybe you could even make a trip to New Yorkwith your parents to meet up with him and find out thelifestyle he is leading.

It is not realistic to think love marriages are betterthan arranged ones either. It is only that in the latter,the wooing and courting begins after tying the knot,and this can be more romantic and satisfying.

If after getting to know about each other, you findyou are not at all compatible and have different values,goals, expectations and needs, you should think ofbreaking off instead of living a life of discord.

IHAVE A VERY EMBARRASSING PROBLEM. AT NIGHTS, WHEN

few asleep, I grind my teeth, making loud noises. Ofcourse, I don’t realise this but my sister who sleeps

with me and my parents too know about this. My mothertells me not to worry, and that I will grow out of thistendency. I am a 13-year-old girl. Next month, our classis going to Dharmashala on a school trip. We will spendthree nights in that town. Now, I am scared to gobecause of my teeth-grinding habit which will startle my

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Q A&Teenache

This column is especially for teenagers. Adolescence can, we know, be atrying and confusing time. There are so many questions which seem toevade solutions. A wrong decision, or an indiscreet move, can spelldisaster and ruin a life. Share your problem, worry or doubt with us andWE will help you find a way out — to a happier, healthier and moresuccessful adult life. Send your problems to:

WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055, Womansera.com

Stop Abdicating -

Own Your Amazement!Wear it and live it with confidence!By Aditi Maheshwari

There is incredible potential infemale natives of the Africancontine nt, that’s going

unnoticed. The pandemonium ofstereotypes ruling societalconsciousness makes it hard toacknowledge the strength ofwomen's power.

Stop being ice sculpturesThe one choice that can change

your life forever is to own who youtruly are. Own your dreams andbelieve it’s possible to achievethem. There might be realobstacles like lack of skills orexperience, financial constraints,child responsibility, lack of time,health deficits, etc; yet if youbelieve it’s possible, the wayto achieve them willautomatically present itselfbefore you. Often what isholding us back from living alife true to ourselves are ourinsecurities, fear, familiarity,lack of self-worth, painfulpast experiences, lack ofawareness, lack of confidencein ourselves, lack of advocatingwomen representations in aprofessional capacity, etc.Once we learn to get in touchwith our inner-self and giveourselves the gift of acceptancewhether it’s for our weaknesses orstrengths, we can drive ourselvesout of whatever is holding us backfrom living our best life.

Challenging the status quo willnot be an easy experience but have

remarkable benefits in womenempowerment. But the only thingthat will help you sustain theprocess is willpower and belief inyourself and the confidence toreject anything that drives you offthe needed change.

Be the chess player, not thechess piece.

Make yourself a priority. Weoften give others a special place inour lives and forget we are specialtoo. The best way to practicemaking yourself a priority is tospend some time each day doingactivities you enjoy doing. It can bereally simple like drinking coffee ortea from your favourite mug or

playing your favourite music at leastonce a day. These little things willignite a spark of freshness withinyou and make you more joyful.Moreover, these simple activitieswill help you understand and get intouch with your self-worth that youlost in the process of valuing othersmore than yourself.

Listen to your body becauseit’s the temple of yourexistence.

Give it rest when it demands rest.Pamper yourself with headmassages, salt baths, sit in the sun,take a bubble bath with candles,listen to music, drive with thewindows down, buy a bouquet,wear your favorite perfume, danceto your favourite tune, laugh loudly,schedule any needed checkups, buya new water bottle, wear softcomfortable clothes, wrap yourselfin a warm blanket and many otherways you can take care of yourself.Make exercise and nutrition yourpriority. This will enhance yourproductivity and will give youconfidence by making you feel goodabout yourself.

Make it a habit to squeeze sometime of the day for yourself whereyou are all alone and you can spendthat time on meditation and alsotalk to the incredible person that is“YOU” and process your thoughtsand emotions. This practice isimportant for your well-being. It willbe a great activity to groundyourself and remind you where youare playing it small. We oftenassume humility means playingsmall, but in true sense humilitymeans to be you- no more, no lessthan that which you are. If youconstantly keep yourself less thanwhat you truly are, it will keep youfrom living an abundant life.

Do something today that yourfuture self will thank you for.

Remember, just as we arehelpful and kind towards others,the same way we need to be kindand helpful towards ourselves too.The best way to do so is to raiseyour standards and stop yourself


REMEMBER, JUST ASWE ARE HELPFUL ANDKIND TOWARDSOTHERS, THE SAMEWAY WE NEED TO BEKIND AND HELPFULTOWARDS OURSELVESTOO. THE BEST WAY TODO SO IS TO RAISEYOUR STANDARDS ANDSTOP YOURSELF FROMWONDERING IF YOUARE GOOD ENOUGHFOR PEOPLE AND STARTWONDERING IF THEYARE GOOD ENOUGHFOR YOU.

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Beauty with Purity

you cannot pour from an emptyvessel. You cannot give others whatyou don’t have yourself. Own youruniqueness. Own yourwonderment. It’s an incredibleexperience. Don’t devoid yourselffrom such an experience. Once yougive yourself the wings of freedom

to be yourself in any set ofcircumstances, you’ll startacknowledging your greatness andlive more abundantly.

Celebrate the journey.Transformation is a process,not a destination!

You are a treasure hidden withinsocial conditioning. Let thetransformation take place at thecore level. Stand up for yourself andother incredible ladies.

Let the world see you for whoyou truly are.

Take a minute to complimentyourself and your journey. Giveyourself the credit for overcomingthe obstacles and shining withintegrity despite the odds you hadto face. Despite the stronghold, youdare to live pleasantly andproductively. Your contribution toyour family and society deserves toapplaud and recognition, don’t holdyourself from receiving this honour,you so rightfully deserve it.

You are worthy of the best. Take a moment to feel how

truly special you are as anindividual. Imagine yourself living alife true to yourself, where you canbe your true self without anyrestrictions. You have to imagineyourself flying with joy, secure inyour own being with no falsemasks to hide your greatness.You’ll then realize how powerfulyou are and how beautiful life canbe for you. Astonish yourself withyour own brilliance.

There is no greater force thana dedicated woman.

African female leads have setexamples for women hailing inother parts of the globe as to thecourage needed to break the statusquo and stereotypes confiningwomen's power due to their mereignorance and inability toacknowledge such astonishingbravery. Reveal your beauty andbrilliance by simply acceptingyourself for who you really are. Your voice matters, YOU matter!


from wondering if you are goodenough for people and startwondering if they are good enoughfor you. A lover doesn’t discourageyour growth, a lover says “I seewho you are today; I cannot wait tosee who you will becometomorrow”. So, learn that anyrelationship whether it’s family,friends, or anyone else who claimsto love you will help you shine yourbrilliance and will not hold youback from your greatness.Surround yourself with genuinepeople who are good for yourmental and emotional health.Surround yourself with people whoare transparent in their approachesand who are wise enough to valueeveryone equally.

The right people will celebratewho you are while helping youbecomes a better version ofyourself. Also, you need to be yourlover.

The butterfly is only beautifulbecause the caterpillar is brave.Learn to say “NO” to whateverderails you from the life youdeserve. Stop self-sabotaging.Choose “YOU” first. Remember,

We

YOU ARE WORTHY OFTHE BEST. TAKE AMOMENT TO FEEL HOWTRULY SPECIAL YOUARE AS AN INDIVIDUAL.IMAGINE YOURSELFLIVING A LIFE TRUE TOYOURSELF, WHERE YOUCAN BE YOUR TRUESELF WITHOUT ANYRESTRICTIONS. YOUHAVE TO IMAGINEYOURSELF FLYING WITHJOY, SECURE IN YOUROWN BEING WITH NOFALSE MASKS TO HIDEYOUR GREATNESS.

It was a strangecoincidence that both“Asha” the brand name

of the stove and “Pushpa”the maid, came to me onthe same day, I had justmoved in and had bought agood kerosene stove whichwould serve my dailycooking needs. It was anordinary stove with a steelbottom, a black stand and asmokeless blue flame and itwas quite adequate for thesimple meals that Ipreferred. I had just retiredand wanted somebody tohelp me with the washingand cleaning of the houseand that was how I ended

up employing Pushpa. Shewas barely 16 years old andwas very thin and skinny.She had a wheatishcomplexion, and largeblack eyes that lookedsolemnly at me. I onprinciple hated employingchildren, as I felt that theirrightful place was theschool.

However, Pushpa’smother, the solebreadwinner of thefamily, convinced me thatit was difficult for her toleave the girl alone in thehouse, while she was awaynor was she willing to sendher to school, as their

timings did notsynchronise. Moreover, shefelt that the holidays wouldbe another serious problemas she could neither leavenor take the child to thework spot. She persuadedme that if I employed her,Pushpa would be spendingher time usefully andearning something as well.Looking back I thought this

was a good solution andwould benefit all three ofus. I would have somebodyto run the errands in thehouse, the mother wouldbe free from tension whileworking and Pushpa herselfcould learn and earnsomething, during the timeshe spent here.

Though I agreedreluctantly I soon found

her to be an asset. She wasa quick learner and able tomanage on her own. I nowconcentrated on my workwhile she attended to allthe household chores. Shewould sweep and swab,wash and clean, cut thevegetables and keep thecooker ready. Whatfascinated her most wasthe new stove, “Asha”. Itwas a pleasure watchingher trim the wicks, makesure that there was enoughkerosene for it to burnproperly and wipe it till itgleamed. She would watchwith great delight the blue,smokeless flame licking thevessel as the food wasbeing cooked. It was veryoften my carelessness thatthe milk over-boiled or thestew ran down the sidesand defaced the shine.

What horrified her waswhen in a hurry I splashedwater to put off the fire.She insisted that the wickbe lowered first and I putthe topper to put the flameoff. I wondered whetherher passionate care of thestove sprang from an

I t went up in smoke me fate fu l day . By Leila Rau

The Smokeless

Blue Flame

ShortStory

It was a strange coincidencethat both”Asha” the brand

name of the stove and“Pushpa” the maid, came to

me on the same day, I had justmoved in and had bought agood kerosene stove which

would serve my daily cooking needs.

ancient symbolical worshipof Agni, the god of fire orwas it a premonition of herdestiny. I had never comeacross anybody so totallyobsessed by a stove. It wasundoubtedly new andexciting to watch the flamelight up. All the same, itwas only a mechanicalgadget, but for her it wassomething mystical andvaluable. She wouldoccasionally compare andtalk about the use offirewood at her own home.The smoke and the grime,she said would covereverything in their tinyroom. No matter how hardthey tried they neversucceeded in keepingthemselves or the placeclean. Most of the people inher neighbourhood she saidwere bleary eyed andcoughed incessantlybecause of the smoke. In amischievous moment shewould add that the smokehelped in chasing themosquitoes from their slumto the surrounding bighouses.

On festive days for herthe cooking stove held

the pride of place in thekitchen. It would becolourfully decorated withrangoli powder andflowers. One one occasionon seeing the love and carethat she bestowed on it, Icasually mentioned that Iwould give it to her on theday she sets up her ownhouse. Her face lit up for amoment then it cloudedwith fear that I might beintending to send her away.It took me some time toreassure her and convinceher that she could stay aslong as she wanted. Slowlyour relationship blossomedinto something deeper andI was as reluctant to part


with her as she was to leavethe security and warmth ofmy home. I taught her toread and write and prepareher for the Board exams.

It was only months laterthat I came to knowPushpa’s marriage hadbeen fixed and that shewould not be working forme much longer. Her fiancehad a government job as apeon, and was earning agood salary. No amount ofremonstrance on my partconvinced the mother that

the girl was too young formarriage and Pushpa couldnot be considered a burdenas she was earning andcontributing to the familyincome. All that the mothercould think of was thesteady income and securitythat her would be son-in-law would provide for herdaughter. Herresponsibility would beover once the marriage wasfinalised and Pushpa safelyensconced in her in-laws’house. I could not imagine

how this immature girlwould cope with all theresponsibilities she wouldhave to shoulder – amother-in-law, and anunmarried sister-in-law.

Her mother wasadamant as usual andinsisted that once thenuptial knot was tied shewould be secure. She,however, never revealed tome nor did I try to find out,what the mother wastrying to secure her childfrom a drunken father,

her new surroundings andcope with her in-laws. Theyhad already shown theirhand when they personallymade their individualdowry demands. It was sadto see though the mothercould ill afford it she wasprepared to take a loan andmeet it. Pushpa left for hernew home with a bag full ofnew clothes, the kerosene

lecherous relatives or theidle youth of the slum.Whatever it was themother felt that marriagewould safeguard herdaughter from all thesedangers, little did sherealise that the peril couldbe from within. I had cometo know the girl quite well.She was efficient,affectionate and whatbothered me most was shewas very sensitive. Iwondered whether shewould be able to adjust to

stove and all her mother’searnings, leaving behind aload of heavy debts on hermother’s shoulders.

Months passed, whatirks me even today wasthat I an educatedwoman, gave in so easilyto all these age-oldarguments, and did notinvolve myself deeply inPushpa’s affairs. I feltsatisfied that I had donewhat I could do as aresponsible citizen. I hadsmugly fulfilled my social

No matter how hardthey t r ied they neversucceeded in keep ingthemse l ves o r thep lace c lean. Most o fthe peop le in herne ighbour-hood shesa id were b learyeyed and coughedincessant l y becauseo f the smoke. In amisch ievous momentshe wou ld add thatthe smoke he lped inchas ing themosqu i toes f romthe i r s lum to thesur round ing b ighouses .

Slowly our relationshipblossomed into something

deeper and I was as reluctantto part with her as she was to

leave the security andwarmth of my home. I taught

her to read and write andprepare her for the

Board exams.

Sometimes,You just drift apartSoundlessly and unknowingly,Just like timeThat fleeces away Without any thumping Of its shoes!

Sometimes,You drift apartLike two distributaries fork out,From one single riverNever to meet again!

Sometimes,You drift apart violently,Like a bullet that goes astray From the triggerAnd kills all that was good!

Sometimes,You drift apart And yet stay connected Beyond the relationshipOf the five senses!

ImportantIs not the way you drifted;But the way you connectedWhen you were together!

– Neelam Saxena Chandra.


We

obligations by sincerelytalking about the evils ofchild marriage to themother, I had tried todissuade her by offeringto keep the child with mefor the next couple of yeartill she came of age andfound somebody better.Then had done to acertain extent, what herown mother did, washedmy hands off from theentire affair. Once the girlwas settled I felt that mysocial responsibilities hadended with Pushpa’smarriage which now Irealise I should haveworked harder to prevent.I realised it now too latethat my ignorance orindifference was partly

responsible for thistragedy.

Days passed ontoweeks and months andonly occasionally in mybusy schedule. I wouldthink about Pushpa, so youcan imagine when almost ayear later, I opened myfront door and found anold battered stove in thefront. It was black withsoot misshapen and badlydamaged. It took me sometime to recoginse that itwas the same stove “Asha”that I had given to theyoung bride, Pushpa. As Ihad not heard from eitherof them nor had I tried tokeep track of them I wassurprised to see the stove.I still do not know how it

landed at my doorstep. Inever knew for certainreasons what hadhappened. I could onlyconjecture what mighthave happened on seeingthe state of the damagedstove.

Was the burnt stove adumb testimony of

Pushapa’s in-laws’ greed,her mother’s negligence ormy own indifference? Icannot say I know,however, that thesmokeless blue flamemust have been a silentabettor in the grimtragedy that followed. Ifthe rumours were to bebelieved all the inmates ofthe house – i.e. all but one

were out at the time of theblaze. I was sure that “allbut one” must have beenPushpa. What waspuzzling me was did thestove lure the unfortunategirl to her death or was itonly pointing out at thosewho might haveperpetuated this gastlycrime. Was it an accident oranother case of “dowrydeath”? Neither have I beenable to figure out as to howmany of us were directly orindirectly responsible forthe loss of one life. Ayoung girl doomed to facea terrible death. None ofus heard her cry for helpbefore her soul mergedforever into the bluesmokeless flame.

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Acne TreatmentSkin breakouts the most well

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scar, there can be additionalnumerous different imperfectionthat makes you look lesser alluring.The dermatologist offers treatmentin pigmentation, skin rash, stretchmarks, tanning and uneven skintone. Various systems are utilised sothat such issues can be curedtotally. The dermatologist likewiseoffers significant management tipsso you can keep up themagnificence of the skin for alonger time.

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Hydrating Facial A hydrating facial is appropriate

for almost all skin types. Skin lossesits dampness. Skin looses due tocountless reasons that can settedon the pathway of untimelymaturing. The hydra facial is anintense skin rejuvenating treatmentthat gives a most natural andthorough skin rejuvenation againstfree radicals, pollution and sun. Thistreatment assets with theremodeling of the fragileequilibrium of the skin and makesskin looks clear, soft and supple.

Often we sit and reminisce ofthe old times. As aprofessor, I often find these

conversations going on in the staffroom. “Do you remember the Kulfiwaala who used to visit the streetduring scorching afternoon hours ofJune”, or “I miss the days mysiblings and entire cousin gang usedto sleep on the roof” are oft-repeated themes, special in theirown way.

Same is the scenario when we sitwith family, both immediate andextended. “ Didi, do you rememberthe chabootra outside naani’shome,” my mother would say to hersister, or, “ I once found a five-rupee note on the ground and feltlike I’d won a lottery,” my fatherwould tell his grand daughter.

Why does the past, unlessparticularly painful, seemmemorable and pleasant? Why doesit always beckon?

Theorists explain that wheninvolved in daily petty annoyancesliking doing laundry, or paying bills,we tend to give more weightage tothese only. The ongoing happyexperiences don’t find limelight inour mindset. But, when thinking ofthe days gone by, we forget thoselittle monotonous/draining

mundane things. This highlightsthe juicy and enjoyable parts

of the past, thus makingits view rose-tinted.

The Lure of

YesteryearsItʼs effecting the present.

By Reema Bansal Mehta

Also the outcomes of timesbygone are clear, but, we don’tknow the outcomes of our present;and that grey area of uncertainty isstressful. Not knowing whether acertain decision will proveworthwhile, whether the efforts willbear fruit or not, whether a certaininvestment will be beneficial - lendsheaviness to our present. However,it is always better borne in mindthat neither was the past as joyousas it seems, nor present as gloomyas it appears. If times ‘back then’seem to be more relaxed and easy-going, the present times providebetter and speedier contact-modes.If things were simpler back then,the present provides us with morecustomized options. Gadgets,facilities, productivity, theirimportance can’t be undermined.The only catch is that with so manystimuli around, the human mindforgets its own power. There can bea three step ‘present’ mantra foracquiring this realisation…

Be Present:“Real generosity towards the

future lies in giving all to thepresent”, said Albert Camus, aFrench philosopher and Nobel Prizewinner. Indeed, wherever we are,whatever we are doing; and, forwhatever reason that might be –giving our 100 per cent presence tothat will inevitably enhance ourwell-being. In no moment can oneenjoy everything that life is offering.Something will be missed while weenjoy some other thing. So, staytuned to the present. And thatbrings us to the second step.

Live in the present:Oft-repeated advice by various

management and religious gurusalike, this still can’t beoveremphasized. “Yesterday ishistory, tomorrow is a mystery,today is a gift of god, which is whywe call it the present”, said BilKeane, a famous Americancartoonist. It’s tempting, almostaddictive; to slip into past timesand/or worry about the future; but,that usually gets us nothing. So,

future. (And it’s equally imperativeto learn from our past mistakes.)But to make it a dogma that thepast was absolutely better, and thepresent or forthcoming times areinferior, won’t do much help. Evenresearch has shown that theyoungsters today have once againstarted believing in spiritual andfamilial pursuits, apart from career.This is a huge hope and muchrequired source of hope. So let’srelish the past, savour our presentand hope plus dream for the future.

Borrowing the lyrics from afamous song sung by Kishore Kumar– ‘aane waala pal jaane waala hai,ho sake toh ismein zindagi bita do,pal joy eh jaane waala hai’. We

Build your Immunity with Natural Healthy Diet -

Whatsapp – 9969526918 or write [email protected]

!! âßðü Öß‹Ìé âéç¹Ù : âßðü â‹Ìé çÙÚUæ×Øæ !!

Myth - You should start each day by drinking lemon water

Want to know more on Mother Nature’s Diet

Natural vegetables & fruits are God’s gift to mankind &consuming them in right manner is Divine Learning.

Most people start their day with a glass of warm lemonwater - main reasons- weight loss, detoxification. Is it correct or needs rectification?

Reality● Nutrients in lemon promotes removal of waste &

toxins by increasing urine production because of diuretic properties & eliminating excess fluid.

● Other side - If consumed on waking in morning –we have already lost considerable amount of water thru respiration & urination – makes us lose more water.

● Helps body form & maintain bones, blood vessels, & skin.● High vitamin C content in Lemon aids digestion - Slows absorption of

food, giving body time to break - derives maximum nutrients & aids in digestion.

Other side:1. Boiling in water can quickly decrease vitamin C content by 10% in 10

minutes.2. Outside body - Lemon Juice is acidic, hence consuming lemon water

directly can erode tooth enamel.

RIGHT WAY OF HAVING LEMONTraditional Way - Before A Meal ONLY

Squeezing in Vegetables AFTER BEING COOKED / As Lemon WaterTAKE YOUR DECISION

Dr Vidushi AgrawalDHMS (Mum),HMD (Lon),

MSc.DFSM (IGNOU)


living in the moment is worthwhileby all means.

Be a ‘present’:Whatever one’s strengths and

limitations are, their best versionwould undoubtedly be a gift to theworld. We need to be at our best,always. Don’t feel like attending theoffice party? Dress up and show upanyway – there’s bound to be atleast one person who’ll be thankfulfor your presence.

Leave no stone unturned, thingshave a way of getting resolved forsuch people.

All said and done, it’s a welcomething to cherish the past times’memories and to plan for the

From Sweat-Centric toBreath-Centric

From Sweat-Centric toBreath-Centric

If the growth figures are to bebelieved, Fitness Industry neverhad it so good. From 18-20

percent growth in 2012 to a surveyprediction that says 30 millionIndians will use fitness services by2023, it is obvious that love forfitness is spreading like wildfire andit is all set to become a commonerchoice and a family affair in times tocome. The choices are endless andcustomer-centric. There issomething for everyone and everyday new fitness formats, diet plansare being launched to ensure fitnessenthusiasts have something ‘new’and challenging to try, post, and pay for.

Whether you are into Yoga, HIIT,Pilates, Zumba, kickboxing, cardiodance, barre, or outdoor activitieslike running and cycling, or a moodyfitness enthusiast, it is important toremember the one thing that makesall and any workout worth yourwhile: the breath.

While the focus in most exercisesis mainly on the form and howgraceful, strong, or fierce a personis looking while working out, or howmany calories one is burning, thebreath takes a back seat. For mostof us, it is something to be focusedupon when in a meditation class butnot while working out. While allinstructors give breathing cues, andstudents follow them, it is rarely amindful activity. Even in Yoga,where the focus on breathing is ofutmost importance, most of us endup focusing on the Yang part of it(the asanas) more than theawareness of breath. The result: weunconsciously pick fitness,bypassing wellness when we havethe choice of having both!

The shift our workouts deserve.By M. Tariq

How mindful breathing cantransform your workouts?

Mindful breathing = better focus= better workout

Use the first few minutes of yourworkout (even before the warm-up)just focusing on your breath,setting the intention for yourworkout. Is it to lose weight, to gainmuscles, to get over a breakup, orjust to feel good? Whatever it is,breath into it. Sit in a half-lotusposition or Sukh Asana with yourspine long and neutral, neverarching or curving. Take a deepbreath, hold it for the count of 3,then 4, and finally 5 then slowlyrelease, all the while feeling theblood rushing through your body,supplying oxygen to your body cellsas they prepare for the work ahead.

Mindful breathing means amore relaxed you

The second you draw in a deepbreath; your brain gets the signal: itis time to relax. A conscious switchfrom shallow and irregularbreathing to mindful breathing thatrises from the belly helps reducestress and anxiety. It is also knownto bring down pain levels and is aperfect way to prepare your bodyfor a workout.

A great way to study your own body

When you sit down with youreyes closed, focusing on yourbreath, start scanning your ownbody. What do your toes feel like?Shins? Are your hamstrings tight? Isthe lower back stiff, or neck sore?

The fact is that leading an otherwisesedentary life has left us in thecompany of constant pain in placeslike our neck, lower back, and stifflegs. While the pain registers itselfin the beginning, as time passes, welearn to live with it. When you focuson your breathing, you also becomeaware of your joints, muscles andthe pain points begin to come toyour attention. How does this helpyou? It helps you in choosing a safeworkout for your body. Forexample, if your lower back is tight,you know that it is better to chooseYin Yoga over Power Yoga. If yourknees are bothering you, thenmaybe walking is what your bodyneeds and not a sprint.

It teaches you to be patientand persistent.

Let us be very clear at this point:mindful breathing, as easy as itsounds, is not without challenges.For days, months at end, you willfind yourself luring your wanderingmind to return to the miracle that isyour breath. Deep breathing seemsodd to a lot of us at first but slowly,it begins to reveal its magic,patience being one of its biggestmerits. The patience you show whiletrying to focus on your breathingcarries itself forward into yourworkout and your life. A morepatient fitness enthusiast is relaxed,happier, and calmer, is aware thatfitness isn’t low-hanging fruit, anddoesn’t get frustrated if the bodytakes longer than expected to showresults.

All yours, anytime, anywhereYou don’t have to be in a

fragrant room with candle lightsand bamboo mats to focus on yourbreathing. Your breath is availableto you every single moment. Whatyou need to do is reach out for it,acknowledge it and let it take careof you. Sparing a few minutesbefore a workout session is just oneof the many ways of incorporating itinto your routine. You can beginyour day or end it with a 5-minute orlonger session. Stressed at work? Sitback in your chair and focus on yourbreath. Remember that 10 mindfulbreathes are better than no mindfulbreaths. Don’t let the distractionsbe in your way. Every time you losefocus, gently bring it back.

Time is money and we arespending it in the real and digitalworld. We owe it to ourselves tomake the most of the time that wespend in shaping our bodies. Fitnessis good but wellness is the real deal.Dashboard abs, tiny waist, greatcalves may be worth a million bucks,but a peaceful mind is priceless. So,the next time while you are hitting agym or burning it out at home or ina park, do spare a few moments toescape to the happy, peaceful placethat only mindful breathing canopen for you.


We

EVEN IN YOGA, WHERETHE FOCUS ONBREATHING IS OFUTMOST IMPORTANCE,MOST OF US END UPFOCUSING ON THEYANG PART OF IT (THEASANAS) MORE THANTHE AWARENESS OFBREATH. THE RESULT:WE UNCONSCIOUSLYPICK FITNESS,BYPASSING WELLNESSWHEN WE HAVE THECHOICE OF HAVINGBOTH!


CAN YOU PLEASE TELL US HOW TO GET CHICKEN AND MEAT

stock ready at home. How long can we store it andhow can we use it?

Save all the vegetable trimmings and freeze them. Putthem in a pressure cooker with water, bay leaves andpepper. Wait for 4-5 whistles and get this vegetable brothafter straining the mixture. Same goes with chicken stock,using a pressure cooker to extract the maximum flavour.Freeze the stock in ice cube trays and use it when required.You can use the stock in soups, bhaji, to make pulao, thelist is endless depending on your imagination.

YOGURT PARFAITS MAKE FOR A WHOLESOME SNACK AND evena healthy dessert. Please tell us more about it.

Yogurt parfaits are one of the quickest, easiest andhealthiest snacks. The name may sound fancy but onlysome easy-to-find ingredients are required to assemble it.If you want to make a nice healthy parfait you will needyogurt, honey, granola, nuts, fresh or frozen fruits and trailmix or seeds. Just keep in mind to avoid ingredients thathave excessive sugar. You can use normal milk yogurt butgreek yogurt will be a better choice because of its textureand flavour. You should add the granola right beforeserving.

PLEASE TELL US IF IT MATTERS WHAT TYPE OF SALT WE USE IN A

recipe?Salt is an integral part of cooking as it extracts flavour

from the particular dish. While frying onion or garlic, adash of salt helps speed up the process. There are varioustypes of salt. Kosher salt or sea salt should be used whilebaking, because of it’s texture. There is a dish in which fishis baked inside kosher salt, since it firms up and does notcrumble while baking. Himalayan pink salt is more of atable condiment and is a seasoning, while send namak is anon-iodine salt and is used to cook holy food while fasting.While kala namak works best with spicy chats, panipuri,shikanji, sherbet, boiled eggs, fruit chutney and lassi. Sendnamak goes with green mint, kuttu puri, sweet pickle,khandvi, pakoras and kosher salt compliments baked fishand bread rolls.

THIS IS THE PICKLING SEASON, HOW IMPORTANT ARE PICKLES IN OUR

daily diets?Pickling is a delicate art that has evolved over the ages.

This art has to be learnt with trial and error methods. Picklepaired with parantha is like music to the soul. Uppinakayi inKannada, pachadi in Telugu, Loncha in Marathi, Athanu inGujrati and Achar in Hindi, India’s tradition of pickle is ages

old. Pickling is a process of preserving food throughfermentation. The ingredients used in pickling helpextend the lifespan of the vegetable, fruit or meat.Pickles have health benefits as well, as they aid indigestion. Fermented pickles are loaded withprobiotics, the good bacteria. Pickles can be madewith any vegetable you can think of for examplemango, chilli, lemon, ginger, cauliflower, carrot

etc. Pickles are often prepared using seeds such asmustard, cumin, fennel, fenugreek, coriander etc. It is asimple art to master if we understand how the climateaffects the food time, temperature and humidity.

PLEASE LIST THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF “BLACK TEA”.Black Tea or our favourite ‘chai’ also has a number of

health benefits. It helps to control high blood pressure andthus helps our heart to be healthy. According to modernresearch, ‘catechins’ a certain compound in green andblack tea helps relax blood vessels through the activationof ion channel proteins.

IS THERE A WAY TO TAKE OUT THE STARCH FROM POTATOES TO MAKE

them healthy?It is not known if it is possible to completely extract the

starch from potatoes, though there are some methods toreduce the water soluble starch from potatoes. One is bycutting and soaking in water and second is freezing them.Freezing ruptures the internal cells of the potatoes andreleases the starch that is present inside. So after freezing,take potatoes out and wash with some water to take outthe starch. If you have cooked and froze them and thenreheat, they do not cause as much blood sugar surge. thebody starts treating them like fibres.

“CO L O U R F U L F O O D S S P E L L H A P P I N E S S” H O W T R U E I S T H I S

statement.Before we even taste our food, the real feast is for our

eyes, as looks make an impact. Colourful food pumps upthe mood, a pop of colour on our plate is something thatdoesn’t fail to delight. Food presentation matters morethan ever. Colourful dishes instantly brighten up a mealand also whets the appetite. Different colours evokedifferent emotions within us and bright and colourfuldishes create a sense of joy. There are several naturalingredients in our kitchens that can add colour and joy tofood. Colourful food and vegetables are super healthy,some natural ingredients to add colour to our food on theplate are beetroot, spinach, carrots, avocado, broccoli,orange or orange peels, strawberries and bell peppers.Spices such as turmeric, red chillies and saffron also bringin colour to a preparation.

— SAVITA BHARGAVA

Q A&Kitchen queries

If you have any problem in cooking or kitchen, write toWoman’s Era. We shall try to help you sort it out. Address your queries to:WOMAN'S ERA, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg,New Delhi-110 055. Click womansera.com to lodge your queries.

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slopes backwards and this affects appearancesgreatly. You should consult a good orthodontistwho can suggest treatments to improve yourlook. A chin implant could be inserted in thechin with minimal scarring. More severeconditions can be helped with slidinggenioplasty where a part of the chin bone isremoved and a small metal plate is inserted.

This is a more complicated and costly surgery which canalso have some scarring and infection There are a fewexercises like mewing which help in strengthening the jawmuscles and chin to improve the lower face contours.These are taught by the orthodontist which could help to acertain degree. The use of cosmetics to create a more firmchin can be attempted although it will not help inimproving your profile.

In short, your best bet is to seek the advice of acosmetic surgeon or orthodontist, and to be prepared tospend a considerable sum to treat your problem.

SINCE MY HAIR TENDS TO GET ROUGH AND OF COURSE, I HAVE

started to use a conditioner frequently to help tomake it smoother and softer. This has helped but

now my hair has started to fall! Is it because of theconditioner? I buy a good brand and take great pains tomassage it into my scalp …so what could be the problem?

If you are using a good hair conditioner, there should beno reason for your hair to fall. Perhaps, you are not usingthe right procedure when conditioning your hair?

First shampoo your hair in the normal way. Choose yourshampoo carefully to suit your hair type which could benormal, dry or oily. Do not use too much shampoo ;squeeze a little on your palm, rub your palms together towork up a lather and then apply it on your hair. Use a littlewarm water to get a good lather to spread all over yourscalp. Do not tangle your hair, which could cause knotsand hair fall.

Wash off the shampoo , putting your fingers throughyour tresses to wash off all traces.

Now apply the conditioner. Again mix it well on yourpalms and apply on hair length…but not on the scalp.Never massage it in the scalp but only smoothen it firmlyalong your hair shafts from the top to the ends.

Keep on for a minute or two and then wash off withluke warm water. Don’t shampoo hair again. But dab drywith towel. Comb and distangle hair when it is semi-dry.

There are leave-in conditioners which you spray on hairand comb through, without washing off.

Using too many hair treatments l ike perming,straightening, curling, streaking, etc, could also weakenhair and make it break and fall. Avoid these till your haircondition improves.

MY PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE A VERY BROAD FOREHEAD

which is almost like half my face! This is a familytrait and both my elder brothers and father have

this feature. Although it does not bother them much beingmales, but I find it very distressing. I feel it makes me lookvery odd. Friends tell me kindly that it is a sign of highintelligence but I don’t care! I want a narrower forehead.Please tell me what I can do about it. I am an 18-year-oldgirl.

Understandably, that this feature bothers you, but thereare various remedies to deal with this. Hair grafting at thehairline is a cosmetic surgery procedure in which tiny hairsare grafted into the skin to lower the hairline. This being anexpensive procedure and one which may need regularattention and correction at the surgeon’s hand, it may notbe a good option for you at this age.

Wear your hair in bangs or flicks which cover yourforehead considerably. A good hairstylist can help you dothis.

You can wear a trendy hairband on the top of yourforehead to make it look narrower.

Don’t apply foundation near your hairline as this willcreate a shadow which will make your forehead appearnarrower.

Wear large ear accessories like hoops or chandelierswhich will remove attention from your forehead.

Cosmetic shops sell net hair weaves which can be wornover the hair to cover a part of your forehead with falsehair. There are small switches too which can be used foroccasions to camouflage forehead width.

There is a special darkening powder which is appliedon thinning parts of the scalp, which you can use discreetlyon the hairline to make it look lower

ALTHOUGH I HAVE QUITE ATTRACTIVE FACIAL FEATURES, MY

chin recedes a little and this is more prominentwhen viewed from the side. I am a 26 -year-old

woman who has some chances of doing some modellingassignments, and I am afraid that my receding chin cancause problems. Can you suggest some methods of dealingwith this?

The chin is a facial features which contributestremendously to the person’s self confidence, esteem andgeneral appearance. In certain extreme cases, a recedingchin could affect eating and speaking as well. Thankfully,there are several measures which can help you dealingwith this issue, and these are both surgical and non-surgical.

A receding chin occurs when the chin is small, short or

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Readers are invited to send their beauty problems andquestions regarding face, complexion, hair, skin, eyes, etc tothis column. Address your letters, written legibly or typed on white paper, to:WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.

Q A&Beauty Queries


Alzheimer's FateThrough An Exceptional WomanA thought provoking ʻgenetic pedigreeʼ By Ram Sridhar

With reports from Science Alert / New York Times & NatureMedicine~~

Among the world's largestfamily to suffer fromAlzheimer's, one older

woman may hold the key to futureprevention.

For generations, thousands ofher relatives in the city of Medellín,Colombia, have been plagued by agenetic mutation (known as E280A)that leads to early onset dementia –what locals call "La Bobera", or "thefoolishness".

This particular genetic quirk only

impacts a small subset ofAlzheimer's patients, many ofwhom live in this one city and italmost always leads to cognitivedecline, beginning as early as age44.

For decades, neurologists havebeen fascinated by this mutationand the family that carries it. But ofthe 6,000 or so living members inthis large extended clan, there'sone individual who stands out.

Despite having the same geneticrisk as many of her relatives and abrain filled with hallmark signs ofAlzheimer's, this woman's memoryhas remained remarkably resilient.

Merlin Colombia, the exceptional womanhaving Alzheimer’s fate.

In fact, neurologists say this ladydid not show any signs of cognitivedecline until she reached her 70s,which is three decades later thanexpected.

Now, researchers think they'vefigured out why and it might haveto do with another chancemutation.

Scanning the brains andsequencing the genomes of 1,200family members, the team hasdiscovered a rare genetic quirk thatcould provide immunity to earlyonset.

The authors suspect two copiesof a gene called APOE3 Christchurchare responsible for her goodfortune, as the woman appeared tobe the only one in the group thathad both. Those with just one copyof the variation still showed earlyonset cognitive decline.

Neuroscientist Yadong Huangfrom the Gladstone Institutes in SanFrancisco who was not involved inthe research told Science magazinethe case was "very special" and mayopen up new avenues for researchand therapy.

But while Michael Greicius ofStanford University agrees, callingthe study "excellent and thought-provoking", he reminded STATNews this was just one case, and anexceedingly uncommon one at that

GENE MUTATIONIn fact, this woman's 'genetic

pedigree', he says, may be whollyunique and that could make it reallydifficult to extend to other patients.

The authors of the study, on theother hand, think her special genesare an asset.

"She has a secret in her biology,"Colombian neurologist FranciscoLopera told The New York Times.

"This case is a big window todiscover new approaches."

When scanning the woman'sbrain, the researchers say theyfound the highest levels of amyloidproteins.

These clumps are hallmarks ofAlzheimer's disease and while theywere once thought to trigger the

disease, no drugs that havetargeted them have worked as yet.Instead, another hallmark, knownas tau has started receiving moreattention.

Just like her relatives, the

Colombian woman's geneticmutation, E280A, is linked to theover-production of amyloid plaques.But instead of progressing further,the authors think her additionalmutations are somehow postponingthe process, potentially byhindering the rapid spread of tau.

At this stage, the idea is just ahunch, but previous studies havelinked variations in APOE, a majorcholesterol-carrying protein, toAlzheimer's and tau pathology.

"This study underscores theimportance of APOE in thedevelopment, treatment andprevention of Alzheimer's, not tomention the profound impact thateven one research volunteer canhave in the fight against this terribledisease," neuroscientist Eric Reimanfrom the Banner Alzheimer'sInstitute told the Harvard Gazette.

"We hope that our findingsgalvanize and inform the discoveryof ALOE-related drug and genetherapies, such that we can putthem to the test in treatment andprevention studies as soon aspossible."

This, however, could simply bewishful thinking. There arethousands of other genomes atplay, and while APOE is a good lead,much more research will need to bedone before we can say for surewhat its relationship is to thiscommon neurological disease.


We

Yadong Huang is Neuroscientist fromGladston Institutes in San Francisco.

Michael Greicius from stanford university calls the studyexcellent and thought provoking.

Francisco Lopera Colombian neurologist sees it as secret of bilogy.

Eric Reiman is Neuroscientist from theBanner Alzheimer’s Institute.

THESE CLUMPS AREHALLMARKS OFALZHEIMER'S DISEASEAND WHILE THEY WEREONCE THOUGHT TOTRIGGER THE DISEASE,NO DRUGS THAT HAVETARGETED THEM HAVEWORKED AS YET.INSTEAD, ANOTHERHALLMARK, KNOWN ASTAU HAS STARTEDRECEIVING MOREATTENTION.

CHANDRAKALAINGREDIENTS:1 cup Refined FlourKhoya a pinch1/2 tablespoons Ghee 3/4 cup Khoya/mawa gratedCastor sugar (caster sugar) 1/2 cupAlmonds coarsely powdered 6Green cardamom powder 1/2teaspoonSugar 1 1/4 cupsSaffron (kesar) a few threads

METHODFor the pastry, Take flour into a

bowl. Rub in one and a halfteaspoons of ghee and knead into

a firm dough using water asrequired. Cover with a damp clothand set aside. For the filling, cookthe khoya in a non-stick pan onlow heat, stirring continuously, forthree to four minutes.

Add the caster sugar, almonds,cashew nuts and cardamompowder, and remove from heat.Set aside to cool. For the syrup,cook the sugar with one and one-fourth cups of water in a non-stickpan, stirring till the sugardissolves. Add the milk and collectthe scum which rises to thesurface with a ladle and discard.Cook till the syrup attains a one-thread consistency. Add the

saffron and stir. Keep the syruphot. Divide the dough into twentyequal portions. Roll out eachportion into a three-inch puri.Take two puri at a time. Place onetablespoon of khoya filling in thecentre of one puri and cover withthe other puri. Moisten the edgesand pinch or twist the edges in apattern to seal firmly. Heatsufficient ghee in a non-stick kadaiand deep-fry the chandrakala, onmedium heat, till golden brown.Drain and soak immediately in thehot syrup. When the chandrakalaare coated on all sides with thesugar syrup, gently remove andserve.

Ultimate bucket meal.

Eat Foods Must-

Chandrakala

GATTAINGREDIENTS:For gatte1 cup Besan ¼ cup yogurt¼ teaspoon red chili powder¼ teaspoon turmeric powder¾ teaspoon coriander powder½ teaspoon ajwain ¼ teaspoon garam masala powdersalt to taste1-2 teaspoon vegetable oil

For curry1 inch ginger2 tablespoons vegetable oil3/4 cup whisked yogurt at roomtemperature1 teaspoon cumin seeds1.25 teaspoon coriander powder½ teaspoon garam masala powder¼ teaspoon turmeric powder¼ teaspoon amchur 1 teaspoon sugar optional1 teaspoon kasuri methi crushed[dried fenugreek leaves]water as requiredsalt to taste

METHODMake the gatte:

In a bowl mix together besan,turmeric powder, red chilipowder, ajwain, garam masalapowder and coriander powder.Add oil, yogurt, salt and mixeverything together. Form adough by mixing in everythingtogether. If the dough isn'tcoming together you can add littlewater.

Also this will be sticky, so it's agood idea to oil your hands beforemixing this dough. Once you haveformed the dough, divide it into 4equal parts and shape each partinto a log. Boil water in pan. Onceit comes to a boil add theprepared rolls into it. Boil foraround 15 minutes, or till knifeinserted in the rolls comes outclean. Take gatte out of water and

cut them in 1/2 inch rounds. Heat 1tablespoon of oil in a pan and panfry the gatte for few minutes or tillthey start turning golden brown incolor.

Drain on kitchen towel and setaside. This step is optional -traditionally this is not done but Ilike doing it.

Make the curry:To the same pan, add 1 more

tablespoon of oil and once oil ishot add cumin seeds and let themcrackle. Meanwhile make a pasteof the onion, ginger and garlic.

Add ginger and onion pastenext and cook till raw smell goesaway completely, around 4-5minutes.

Add spices - coriander powder,amchur, turmeric powder andgaram masala along with 1-2

tablespoons of water (so that thespices don't burn). Cook the spicefor a minute or two. Also add thesalt. Now reduce the flame to lowand add whisked yogurt. Keepwhisking till the yogurt has totallymixed it.

Once it has mixed well,increase the flame to medium.Add water, as required. I addedaround 2-3 cups and let it all cometo a boil.

At this point check the salt andspices and adjust accordingly. Youcan also add little sugar if thecurry taste too sour to you. Oncethe water comes to a boil, add thegatte to the curry and let itsimmer at medium-low for 10minutes. Add crushed kasurimethi and remove from heat.serve gatte ki sabzi immediatelywith rice or roti.


Gatta

GHEVARINGREDIENTS:1-1/2 cups All Purpose Flour(Maida)1/2 cup ghee, more to fry1/2 cup Milk1-1/2 cups WaterkesarFor sugar syrup:1-1/2 cups Sugar1 cup Water

METHODTo begin making the Ghevar

Recipe, get all the ingredientsready. Pour ghee and cold milk ina bowl and whisk it well. Blend ittill ghee and milk emulsify into asmooth mixture and do notseparate. Sieve the maida andadd into the mixture above andwhisk again. Make sure that nolumps and the batter is smooth.Add kesar for colour and addwater little at a time and mix it

well into a smooth and pouringconsistency. The consistency ofthe batter should be one string(such that if we drop the batterfrom the spoon, then it should falllike a string). Heat ghee in a deepfrying pan. The quantity of gheeshould be half of the density ofthe vessel. Heat it on high flametill the ghee gets very hot. Checkthe right temperature by droppinga small amount of the batter andsee if it immediately comes upwithout any delay. Pour batterinto the ghee to make a big circledepending on the how thickghevar you want to make. I usedtwo spoonsful of batter. Pour thebatter slowly in one continuousthin stream in the centre of thepan. Bubbles start spluttering allover the surface of oil. Let thefoam settle down. If the centrepoint is totally covered , then useladle to make little space in thecentre and keep on pouring the

batter.Take 1- 2 min intervalbetween pouring of batter. Turnthe heat to low once you havepoured batter into the ghee. Let itfry until it turns light brown incolor. Once the ghevar has turnedto brown in color, means it iscooked now. Take out the ghevarin a plate lined with tissue paper.A beautiful net shape would haveformed.

To prepare sugar syrup:Add water and sugar to

saucepan. Bring them to boil withoccasional stirring. After the boil,heat it on low flame for 5-6minutes till you get a one-stringconsistency. Now dip the ghevarinto the sugar syrup for 1 to 2 minand take it out. Keep the ghevardipped in the syrup on a plate andtilt it, so that any excess syrupgets drained. Your deliciousGhevar recipe is ready. Garnishthe Ghevar with nuts.


Ghevar

HARA BHARAKABABINGREDIENTSSpinach 10 leavesMashed PaneerGreen chillies chopped 3Ginger chopped 2 inch piecesFresh coriander leaves chopped2 tablespoonsChaat masala 1 teaspoonSalt to tasteCornflour/ corn starch 2tablespoonsOil for deep-frying

METHODBlanch spinach leaves in two

cups of boiling salted water forfive minutes. Drain, refresh in coldwater and squeeze out excesswater. Finely chop. Mix spinach,paneer. Add green chillies, ginger,coriander leaves, chaat masalaand salt to taste. Add cornflourfor binding.

Divide the mixture into twenty-four equal portions. Shape eachportion into a ball and then pressit between your palms to give it aflat tikki shape. Heat sufficient oilin a kadai. Deep-fry the tikkis onmedium heat for three to fourminutes. Drain onto an absorbent

1 tablespoon sugar (optional)1 teaspoon rose water (optional)10 to 12 pistachios (pista)10 to 12 almonds (badam)7 to 8 strands of saffron (kesar) -optional

METHODGrease a pan or a thali with

some ghee or oil.Crush coarsely pistachios,

saffron and cashews or almondsin a mortar-pestle. You can alsoslice the dry fruits.

Grate 250 to 300 grams paneer.You can also crumble the paneer.If the paneer is refrigerated, then Isuggest to grate it. If freshlymade, then you can crumble it.Crumble finely.

Making Kalakand Sweet:Take 1 tin/can (400 grams) of

sweetened condensed milk in athick bottomed pan or kadai. Iused amul mithai mate.

Add the grated or crumbledpaneer to the condensed milk.Mix very well. Keep the flame onlow or sim and cook this mixtureof condensed milk and gratedpaneer. The kalakand mixture willstart thickening as it simmers andbegins to cook.

When the mixture getsthickened well and looks like onemass, switch off the flame.

It took me 15 minutes on a low

paper. Serve hot with a chutney ortea..

KALAKANDINGREDIENTS:400 grams sweetened condensedmilk or 1 tin or can250 to 300 grams Paneer or 2 cupstightly packed grated or crumbledpaneer¾ teaspoon cardamom powder(choti elaichi powder) or6 to 7 green cardamoms - crushedin a mortar-pestle to a finepowder

Hara Bhara Kabab

Kalakand

flame. Depending on the qualityof your pan, pan thickness andsize, flame intensity it may take 12to 16 minutes. The kalakandmixture should have somemoisture and should look dry.

Remove the pan from theflame. Add 3/4 tsp cardamompowder. Stir very well.

Setting KalakandNow pour the kalakand mixture

in the prepared pan (plate orthali).

Shake the pan gently so thatthe mixture spreads evenly. Youcan also level with a spoon orspatula.

Sprinkle coarsely crushed dryfruits all over the kalakand.

Gently press the dry fruits witha spoon. Cover and allow thekalakand to become warm or coolcompletely at room temperature.Then keep in the fridge for acouple of hours for it to set.

After it sets, slice the kalakandand serve. In case if you cannotslice the kalakand, then don'tworry. You can just serve it with aspoon like a halwa. It still tastesdelicious.

Serve kalakand as a sweet or asa dessert.

KER SANGRIINGREDIENTS:5 Gram Berries75 Gram Dried beans

For main preparation:2 tsp Oil1 tsp Cumin seeds5-6 Whole red chillies1 tsp Coriander powder1 tsp Red chilli powder1 tsp Turmeric powder1 tsp Raw Mango powder5-6 Dried pieces of raw mango1 tsp Salt

METHODSoak the berries and the dried

beans in beaten yogurt and keepit overnight. Boil for 15-20 min inwater and clean them properlywith water. Heat oil in pan. Addcumin seeds, whole red chillies,coriander powder, red chillipowder, turmeric powder, rawmango powder, dried raw mangopieces. Saute the masala well.Then add ker sangri and salt. Mixit well.

MATARKACHORIINGREDIENTS:For Kachori1 cup Whole Wheat Flour2 tablespoon Ghee1/4 teaspoon SaltFor the filling1 cup Green peas (Matar) ,steamed2 Green Chillies , chopped1 teaspoon Red Chilli powder1/2 teaspoon Garam masalapowder1 teaspoon Amchur (Dry MangoPowder)2 teaspoon Fennel seeds (Saunf)1/4 teaspoon Turmeric powder(Haldi)2 tablespoon ghee Salt , to tasteMustard oil , for deep frying

METHODTo begin making the Matar

Kachori, we will first make thedough. In a mixing bowl, add theflour, ghee and salt. Combine tomake a coarse crumb mixture.Add little water at a time to makea soft smooth dough. Cover thekachori dough and allow thedough to rest for 15 minutes. Keepit aside. To make the matarkachori filling, add the green peas,green chilli in a blender and blendto make a coarse mixture. Heat ateaspoon of mustard oil in a heavybottomed pan; add the fennelseeds and saute for two seconds.Add the matar kachori mixture,chilli powder, garam masla,amchur powder, salt to taste andsaute till all the ingredients arewell combined. Once done, turnoff the heat and allow the matarkachori mixture to coolcompletely. Finally, to make theMatar Kachori roll the dough into2 inch circles. Add the kachorimixture in the center and bringedges together & form a ball.Press down to make a disc andmake all the kachoris like this.

Ker sangri

Heat the required oil in a heavybottomed pan to fry the kachoris.Add the kachoris and fry till theyturn golden brown on both sides.Once it is done, take them out ona kitchen towel so that it absorbsthe excess oil and serve MatarKachori hot. Serve this deliciousand tasty Matar Kachori withTamarind chutney.

METHI MUTHIAINGREDIENTS:2.5 Cups Fresh Methi (Fenugreek)Leaves1.5 Cups Atta, Wheat Flour0.5 Cups Besan, Gram Flour1 tbsp Sesame Seeds1 tsp Green Chilli Paste1 tsp Fresh Ginger Paste2 tbsp Lemon Juice1 tsp Red Chilli Powder1/2 tsp Turmeric Powder1 tsp Sugar1 tbsp OilTo Taste SaltAs Required WaterIngredients for Tempering1-2 tbsp Oil1 tsp Rai, Mustard Seeds1 tbsp Til, Sesame SeedsA Few Curry LeavesA Pinch Hing, Asafoetida

METHODChop the fenugreek leaves.

Wash them and set aside to drainin a colander.

Mix together atta, besan, redchilli powder, turmeric, greenchilli paste, ginger paste, sesameseeds, sugar, and salt. Add thechopped and washed methileaves. Mix well Add the lemonjuice. Mix well. Using a littlewater, mix to create a firm yetpliable dough. Add 1 tbsp oil. Mixwell. Set aside for 5 minutes.

Making the Methi Muthiya:Divide the dough into 2 halves.

Roll each half into a log about 1.5"in diameter. In a pressure cookeror steamer, add enough water fora 7-10 minute steam. Bring thewater to a boil. Place the rolls in asteamer or a flat colander. Steamthe rolls for 7 to 10 minutes. Turnoff the heat and let the rolls cool abit. Cut the steamed rolls into 1/2"slices.

Tempering the Methi Muthiya:In a pan, heat the oil. Add the

mustard seeds and wait till theysplutter. Add the sesame seeds,curry leaves, and hing. Stir-fry fora few seconds. Add the MethiMuthiya. With a gentle hand, stir-fry for 3 to 5 minutes till themuthia just start to change colour.Serve hot with khati mithichutney.

Matar kachori

Methi Muthia

PLAIN KHAKRAINGREDIENTS:1 cup whole wheat flour (gehun kaatta)salt to taste1 tbsp oilwhole wheat flour (gehun ka atta)for rolling3 tsp ghee for cooking

METHODTo make the whole wheat

khakhras, combine the wholewheat flour, salt and oil in a deepbowl and knead into a soft doughusing enough water. Cover it witha lid and keep aside for 15minutes.

Divide the dough into 6 equalportions. Roll a portion of thedough into a 200 mm. (8")diameter circle using a little wholewheat flour for rolling. Heat anon-stick tava (griddle) and placea roti on it and cook on both sidesfor a few seconds.

Apply ¼ tsp ghee on each sideand cook on a slow flame untilcrisp using little pressure withhelp of a muslin cloth or with akhakhra press.

Repeat steps 3 to 5 to make 5more whole wheat khakhras.Allow the whole wheat khakhrasto cool completely and store in anair-tight container.

POTLI SAMOSAINGREDIENTS2 tsp oil1 tsp fennel seeds (saunf)1 tsp coriander seeds (sabutdhaniya)1 tsp dry fenugreek leaves,crushed (kasuri methi)4 large potatoes, boiled andmashed1 tsp garam masala powder1tsp red chilli powder as per taste1 tsp dry pomegranate(anaardana) powderSalt to taste.

METHODPrepare tempering Heat 2 tsp

of oil. Add 1 tsp coriander seeds,

fennel seeds and dry fenugreekleaves each. Sauté for 30 seconds.Add boiled potatoes and dryspices and cook Add in 4 largeboiled and mashed potatoes. Addsalt to taste, 1 tsp red chillipowder, 1 tsp dry pomegranatepowder, 1 tsp garam masalapowder. Mix everything well andcook for 10 minutes. Let themixture cool down then shapeinto lemon size balls Take out themixture in a plate. Let it cooldown completely. Thereafter takea tablespoon of stuffing and makesmall balls. Keep aside.

Ingredients for samosa sheet:2 cups all purpose flour (maida)Salt to taste1/2 tsp carom seeds (ajwain)1/4 cup oil1/2 cup cold water to make thedough or as required

Mix ingredientsIn a mixing bowl add 2 cups all

purpose flour, ¼ cup oil, salt totaste, ½ tsp carom seeds. Mixeverything well. Use cold water tomake stiff dough and leave it torest Add cold water gradually tomake stiff dough. I used ½ cupwater. Cover with a damp clothand leave for 15-20 minutes.

Plain Khahra

Poltli Samosa

TILL KHOYALADOOINGREDIENTS:1 cup Mawa (khoya) grated1 cup White sesame seeds 1/4 cup Ghee 1 cup Powdered sugar 2 tablespoons Cashew nutschopped 1/4 teaspoon Green cardamompowder

METHODDry roast sesame seeds in a

non-stick pan till light brown incolor.Cool, put in a mixer jar andgrind coarsely. Add khoya to thesame pan and saute for a minute.Add ghee and sauté till khoyaturns golden.

Transfer the mixture into abowl, add ground sesame seeds,powdered sugar, cashew nuts,and cardamom powder and mixwell.

Divide the mixture into equalmedium sized portions and rollthem into laddoos while themixture is warm. Arrange them ona serving plate and serve.

Tip: Making stiff dough ensuresthat the samosas are crisp andremain crisp and flaky.

Tip: Do not leave the dough formore than 15-20 minutesotherwise bubbles arise onsamosa when fried. Make portionsand roll After 15 minutes, kneaddough once. Divide dough into 4logs. Cut each log into 6 portions.Shape into flat balls. Roll.

Step for potli samosaShape potli samosaCut the rolled portion into a

perfect round using a large bowlor cap of a container. Place theball of stuffing. Apply water ½inch away from the edges. Andseal.

Heat oil and fryHeat enough oil in a pan. The

oil should be moderately hot. Putthe samosa and fry on low flametill golden brown.

Tip: Do not add samosas forfrying in very hot oil. Otherwisethey will cook from outside andinside will remain un-cooked.

Bon appétitServe potli samosas hot with

tandoori chutney or imli chutney.

RING DHOKLA(CORN FILLING)INGREDIENTS:1/2 cup boiled and coarselycrushed sweet corn kernels3/4 cup of sooji 1/2 cup curd 1/2 tsp green chilli paste 1 tsp oil salt to taste1/2 tsp fruit salt 1 tsp oil for greasing6 tsp green chutney

METHODCombine the suji, curds and ½

cup water in a deep bowl and mix

well with a spoon. Add the greenchilli paste, oil and salt and mixwell. Cover it with a lid for 5minutes. Just before steamingadd the fruit salt and mix gently.Grease the dhokla moulds with oil.Pour the batter into 12 of themoulds and steam in a steamer for10 to 12 minutes or till the dhoklasare cooked. Cool slightly anddemould by tapping them andturning them upside down andnot using a knife. Fill thedepression in the dhokla with ¼tsp sweet corn. Repeat steps 7 to9 to make 12 more dhoklas. Serveimmediately.


Ring Dhokla

Till Khoya ladoo

We

ReciepÏes by : Mr. Bharti Sanghi (Founder, Life-Home alone brand)

If you have a pap smear everyyear, there’s no reason to developcervical cancer.

– Laurie Glimcher

An unusual type of dischargefrom the vagina or bleedingcan be a symptom of cancer

of the cervix which can be a seriousthreat to life if neglected. Evenwhen one is not having abnormalbleeding or discharge from thevagina, one should go for screeningfor cancer of the cervix. AmericanCancer Society advised pap(papanicolaou) test for everywomen aged 21 to 29 every threeyears. After the age of 30 to 65years, HPV test should be doneevery 5 years.

Cancer of the cervix is arisingfrom the uterine cervix. In this caseearly on, typically no symptoms areseen. Later symptoms may includeabnormal vaginal bleeding, pelvicpain or pain during sexualintercourse. 90 per cent of thecases of cervical cancer are causedby human papilloma virus infection(HPV).

Most people who have had HPVinfections, however, do not developcervical cancer. Screeningprogrammes have reduced theincidence of cervical cancer indeveloped countries, whereas inlow-income countries, it is one ofthe most common causes of cancerdeath.

It may be cancer of the cervix.By Dr V. K. Nigam

Ladies, Don’t Ignore

Abnormal Bleeding!

Mrs Poonam Khetrapal Singh,regional director, WHO, SoutheastAsia Region, writes that cervicalcancer is a deadly threat towomen’s health. Across the world,the disease kills one woman everytwo minutes, with women betweenthe ages of 30-39 most at risk ofdeveloping it. But, while cervicalcancer can affect all womeneverywhere, it’s impact is far fromuniform. Nearly 90% of the womenof cervical cancer deaths are in lowand middle income countries,including those of the WHOSoutheast Asian Region.

Cancer of the cervix is a sexuallytransmitted disease. HPV istransmitted through sexual contact(normal, oral and anal), and isprevalent in both heterosexual andhomosexual relationships. Whilemales are asymptomatic carriers,they can transmit to women. 90 percent of all HPV infections arepreventable.

Historical backgroundThe first description of cervical

cancer was given by the Father ofMedicine, Hippocrates, around 400BCE. In 1934, cervical cancer wasidentified as a sexually transmitteddisease. In 1898, removal of uteruswas considered as the treatment ofcancer of the the cervix, which isstill in practice.

Greek cytopathologist GeorgiosPapanicolaou, developed a cervicalcytology smear test (today calledPap smear) to detect cancer cells.This test will save thousands of livesand help reduce cervical cancermortality by a wide margin. The Paptest is first generalized as aprocedure, enabling doctors todetect and begin treating cervicalcancer before it has spread. Overthe following decades, the Pap testis credited with driving downcervical cancer death rates indeveloped countries.

In 1999, the DNA test wasapproved to detect HPV, the virusthat causes cervical cancer. In 2006,a vaccine against HPV infection wasdeveloped in the USA. In the early20th century, epidemiologists

discovered that cervical cancer iscommon in female sex workers andalso common in women whosehusbands have a higher number ofsexual partners or were regularcustomers of prostitutes.

Some facts about cancerof the cervix✿ Cancer of the cervix is the second

most common cancer in femalesafter breast cancer.

✿ Lack of awareness is animportant risk factor.

✿ Multiple sexual partners andmultiple pregnancies increase therisk of cervical cancer.

✿ Every year in India 1,22,844women are diagnosed withcervical cancer and 67,477 diefrom the disease.

✿ In India the peak age for cervical

cancer incidence is 55-59 years.✿ HPV infections are asymptomatic

and generally individuals are notaware of being infected, thusfacilitating the spread easily andunknowingly.

✿ HPV to associated with 50,000new cases of cervical cancer and250,000 associated cervicalcancer deaths worldwide eachyear.

✿ Cancer of the cervix develops incells of the cervix over 10-20years. It doesn’t developovernight. It gives sufficient timefor prevention. Pap tests candiagnose precancerous changesin the cells of the cervix whichcan be treated and cancer of thecervix can be prevented.

✿ Survival or prognosis of cancer ofthe cervix depends upon earlydetection.

✿ About 70 per cent of cervicalcancer occurs in developingcountries and 90 per cent of thedeaths.

Dee Standley, 37, director of thelife-coaching group, “Aspire NLP”,is a survivor of the cancer of thecervix. Standley said that “After thecolposcopies and extensive surgery,was given the all clear in June 2006and became pregnant in October2007. …. It was very difficult. Thebaby was born but I stayed positive,ate well and now I am a blissfullyhappy mother with a new, healthieroutlook on life it would like to dowhatever it takes to other womento make a priority of having asmear. Worldwide, cervical cancer isboth the fourth most commoncause of cancer and the fourth mostcommon cause of death fromcancer in women. In 2012, anestimated 5,28,000 cases of cervicalcancer occurred, with 2,66,000deaths.

Cervical cancer risk factors✿ HPV (Human Papillomavirus)

inection.✿ Multiple sex partners✿ Multiple pregnancies✿ Smoking doubles the risk of

cervical cancer.


IN 2006, A VACCINEAGAINST HPVINFECTION WASDEVELOPED IN THEUSA. IN THE EARLY20TH CENTURY,EPIDEMIOLOGISTSDISCOVERED THATCERVICAL CANCER ISCOMMON IN FEMALESEX WORKERS.

Internal Radiotherapy for Cervical Cancer

Womb

Ovary

Vagina

Applicators

Fallopian tube

Radioactivesource

✿ Prolonged use of oralcontraceptive pills.

✿ According to the AmericanCancer Society, the first full-termpregnancy before the age of 17years doubles the risk of cervicalcancer.

Who are at high riskof cancer of cervix

There are certain factors whichincrease the risk of developingcervical cancer in a lady these are:✿ HPV infection – is the most

important factor making a lady athigh risk of developing cancer ofthe cervix.

✿ Weak immune system or anyimmune-deficiency disease suchas AIDS. Some drugs affect theimmune system of the body andsuppress it and these are used inautoimmune disease treatment.These drugs increase the risk ofdeveloping cancer of the cervix.

✿ A lady suffering with chlamydiainfection. Chlamydia infection is acommon infection withoutsymptoms, caused by sexualcontact. It increases the risk ofdeveloping cancer of the cervix.

✿ Smoking women have double therisk of developing cervical cancerthan non-smoking women.Smoking also damages cervicalcells and suppress as immunesystems.

✿ The husband has several sexpartners.

✿ Overweight or obesity increasesthe risk of developing cancer ofthe cervix.

✿ Long-term use of oralcontraceptives or birth controlpills (Oral contraceptives)increase the risk of cancer ofcervix if used for a long time andthis effect remains for 10 yearsafter stopping oralcontraceptives.

✿ The first full-term pregnancybefore the age of 17 doubles therisk of developing cancer of thecervix.

✿ Low socio-economic factors –Women from low-incomehouseholds have more risk ofdeveloping cancer the of cervixas they have no access toscreening for cancer of thecervix.Ms Namita was a kindergarten

teacher of 30 years of age. She wasgood looking with a jolly nature.She wanted to enjoy life and havebest of the world. She had severalmale friends. She was smoking andenjoying drinks also. She was aregular partygoer. She was enjoyinggood health. Gradually she realisedthat she sometimes feels very weakand she is becoming susceptible tocommon cold and throat infection.Throat infection became morefrequent and started lasting longer.She of late started having low-gradefever also. For the last two monthsshe noticed some discharge from

her vagina, in her undergarment.She was living alone in a payingguest home and was not following abalanced diet. She ultimatelyconsulted a physician who referredher to a gynaecologist. TheGynaecologist examined her andadvised a pap smear afterpervaginal examination. The papsmear result came positive for HPVand precancerous changes. She wasalso having low immunity due to herirregular and unbalanced lifestyle.She was advised to correct herlifestyle and diet. She underwentloop electrosurgical excision ofcervical lesion. She was lucky thatshe was cured within a few monthsof treatment. She was also trainedfor meditation and visualisationwhich she is doing regularly andnow enjoying good health. Thisproves that early diagnosis can savea life.

How to prevent cancer cervixHPV vaccination: It reduces the

risk of cancer of the cervix. Thevaccines are between 92 per centand 100 per cent effective againstHPV 16 and 18 up to at least 8 years.

Barrier protection: Use ofcondoms during sexual intercoursedecreases cervical cancer risk.Cancer doesn’t differentiate richfrom poor, it treats every bodyequally. Cervical cancer has killedvarious celebrities also such as,Maria Eva Duarte de Peron, whowas the wife of Argentine PresidentJuan Peron, Angelique Petting Johnan American actress, Jade CersiaLorraine Goody- an English TVpersonality and Henritta Lacks etc.Henritta Lacks was the source offirst known human immortal cellline for medical research – helacells.

Cancer does not differentiatebetween a poor and a royal. EvaPeron, wife of the President ofArgentina, first lady of Argentina,was born in poverty but luck andher charm to took to the royalpalace. She developed cancer of thecervix. It was a rapidly growingcancer. She underwent


A LADY SUFFERINGWITH CHLAMYDIAINFECTION.CHLAMYDIAINFECTION IS ACOMMON INFECTIONWITHOUTSYMPTOMS, CAUSEDBY SEXUAL CONTACT.IT INCREASES THERISK OF DEVELOPINGCANCER OF THECERVIX.

hysterectomy but cancer hadmetastasised and returned rapidly.She also undervent chemotherapybut could not be saved and died in1952.

In India, the number of peoplewith cervical cancer is rising, butoverall the age-adjusted rates aredecreasing. Usage of condoms inthe female population has improvedthe survival of women with cancerof the cervix.

India accounts for one-third ofthe cervical cancer deaths globally,130,000 new cases of cervicalcancer cases every year. Liz Lange,American fashion designer, wasdiagnosed with cancer of the cervixat the age of 35. Now she is cancer-free and is a spokesperson forcervical cancer awareness. She saysthat Pap smear and examination bya gynaecologist are important forearly detection.

Pap testThe Pap test is also known as Pap

smear or cervical smear. Pap is anabbreviation of Papanicolaou test.This test was invented by DrGeorgios Papanicolou and Dr AurelBabes.

The Pap test is a method ofcervical screening which can detectprecancerous and cancerous cells inthe cervix.

How it is doneThe vaginal canal is opened by a

speculum and cells are collected atthe outer opening of the cervix.Collected cells are examined by amicroscope. It detectsprecancerous cells, cancerous cellsand HPV infections.

Pap test sensitivity inIndian population

Carcinoma of the uterine cervix isa major health problem faced by theIndian women, and every yearapproximately 1,20,000 womendevelop this disease. India accountsfor 15.2 per cent of the total cervicalcancer deaths in the world.Although the incident of carcinomacervix has declined in the urbanpopulation, in the rural areas it

contains to be prevalent. The usual10-20 years of natural history ofprogression from mild dysplasia tocarcinoma cervix makes this canceras relatively early preventabledisease and provides the rationalefor screening.10 Despite existenceof national guidelines, the screeningcoverage in India is appalling, low.As a result, the diagnosis ofcarcinoma of the cervix is based on

opportunistic screening or after theonset of symptoms. Although thedata from the 20 population-basedstudies shows as decline incarcinoma of the cervix incidencesover the last two decades, thedisease still occupies number twoposition with a high risk of thedisease.

In a study conducted in tertiary-care hospitals in the rural area ofHimachal Pradesh, cervical cancerscreening was done in symptomaticwomen using Pap smear and Papsmear was found to be as sensitiveand specific method in detectingpre-cancerous lesions of the cervix.In a cervical cancer screeningprogramme conducted in a tertiarycare hospital of Tripura abnormalPap smear were observed. Papsmears was suggested to be anelementary, economical, safe andyet highly sensitive screening testfor early detection of carcinoma ofthe cervix.

About a year back, the newlymarried female got a Pap smeardone casually and came to knowthat she is suffering with cancer ofthe cervix. It was a shock to her and


Pap test

USAGE OF CONDOMS INTHE FEMALEPOPULATION HASIMPROVED THESURVIVAL OF WOMENWITH CANCER OF THECERVIX. INDIAACCOUNTS FOR ONE-THIRD OF THE CERVICALCANCER DEATHSGLOBALLY, 130,000NEW CASES OFCERVICAL CANCERCASES EVERY YEAR.

Rectum

Vagina

Speculum

Cervix

Uterus

Cervix

Brush

her family. It was diagnosed by acasual routine health check-upwithout any symptom. Cervicalcancer usually goes undetected. DrRajender Akerkar, HODgynaecological oncology at the TataMemorial Hospital says that over1,35,000 women get infected by it inIndia every year and we contributeto over 25 per cent of the globalcount for cancer. Due to insufficientinformation, it often goesundetected until fatal. To put it inperspective, the detection andprevention is so long that by thetime 1,35,000 cases came to light,73,000 women died.

Human papilloma virus (HPV)Human papilloma virus infection

is a common viral infection andmost of these infections resolvespontaneously 16 withoutproducing any symptoms. SomeHPV infections do not subside andlead to precancerous changes incells and lead to cancer of thecervix. HPVs are of various typesbut most of cancer of the cervix arecaused by HPV16 and HPV 18 types.Most of the HPV infections arecaused by sexual contact and infectthe anus and genitals including thecervix. HPV commonly spreads byvaginal and anal sex and cannotspread by the toilet seat. HPV is themost common sexually transmittedinfection globally.

In 2018, an estimated 5,69,000new cases and 3,11,000 deathsoccurred from cervical cancerworldwide.18 HPV causes warts andcancer. HPV is a communicabledisease and its communicability isunknown but it is believed that itmay be transmitted even after thelesions are treated and no longervisible or present.

Diagnosis of HPV is based on aPap test which is found abnormalindicates a need for other tests.According to the National CancerInstitute (USA) the most commontest detects DNA for several high-risk HPV types. The HPV DNA andRNA tests could be used to identifyHPV infections in cells taken fromthe cervix.

was evicted from the show and sheapologised for the racial bullying. In2008 she learned she developedcancer of the cervix which grew fastand metastasised. She died on 22March 2009, at the age of 27. Thiswas a case of late detection and thehurricane course of disease.

Cervical cancer is a lethal diseasebut luckily preventable andtreatable. There are many survivorsof this disease, specially those whowere diagnosed early. Earlydetection is vital and a life-savingroutine screening withgynaecologist and Pap smear areessential for early diagnosis. Manycelebrities had cervical cancer andsurvived though many also died.Erin Jill Andrew is an Americansportscaster and televisionpersonality; she was voted as“America’s sexiest sportscaster” in2007 and 2008 by Playboymagazine.

In January 2017, Andrewsannounced that she was diagnosedwith cervical cancer in September2016 for which she receivedtreatment. After two surgeries, shewas pronounced cancer-free. Afterdefeating cancer she launched acampaign, called We Can Change.The STAT encourages women to goto the doctor for their annualexams, as well as getting men toencourage the women in their livesto take their exams.

The take-home message is verywell done by WHO which indicatesthat comprehensive cervical cancercontrol includes primary prevention(vaccination against HPV),secondary prevention (screeningand treatment of pre-cancerouslesions), tertiary prevention(diagnosis and treatment ofinvasive cervical cancer) andpalliative treatment. Cervical canceris curable if diagnosed at an earlystage.

“Be patient and don’t give up.Trust me when I say, you will comeout changed and stronger, on theother end of this”

– Brenda Jones, a cancersurvivor.


HPV vaccination is very effectiveto prevent HPV infection but it mustbe given before infection occursand therefore to be used betweenthe ages of nine and 13. Therecommendation for vaccine is twoshots at an interval of six monthsfor those aged 11-12, and threedoses for those 13 and older. Thevaccine has little therapeutic effecton precancerous lesions and notherapeutic effect on existing HPVcervical lesions.

Jade Cerisa Lorvaine Goody wasan English reality television artist.She was branded as the most hatedwoman in Britain. She appeared incelebrity Big Brother 5 and wasblamed for racial bullying Indianactress Shilpa Shetty. Later on she

CERVICAL CANCER IS ALETHAL DISEASE BUTLUCKILY PREVENTABLEAND TREATABLE. THEREARE MANY SURVIVORSOF THIS DISEASE,SPECIALLY THOSE WHOWERE DIAGNOSEDEARLY. EARLYDETECTION IS VITALAND A LIFE-SAVINGROUTINE SCREENINGWITH GYNAECOLOGIST.


allowance. A diet containing 100 gm of carbohydratead 50 gm of protein cannot include more than 40 to45 gm of fat. The diet should contain plenty of greenvegetables and fruits, since they contain few calories,while their bulk helps to fill the stomach and relievehunger. Their vitamin A activity and vitamin C willbe sufficient to meet the body's needs.

The only minerals that need seriousconsideration are calcium and iron. Provided the dietincludes 300 ml of skimmed milk, there is littlelikehlihood of a negative calcium balance developing inan adult. The supply of iron is less sure and may call forthe prescription of iron supplements. Sweetened juicesmust be avoided except those sold for diabetic patients,which have a low caloric content.

MY DAUGHTER IS ABOUT THREE MONTHS OLD AND SHE IS

suffering from venous angioma (cavernous) astold by a surgeon and advised treatment. I want to

know in detail about this disease.Venous angioma (cavernous) is relatively uncommon.

It is present at birth and consists of a multiplicity ofvenous channels of varying calibre usually it shows notendency to involution and may become larger and moretroublesome later. Sometimes the whole of one limb andthe adjacent part of the trunk is affected. Occasionallythe naevus is associated with a lipoma (naevo-lipoma). Insome cases arteriovenous communications are present.The skin overlying the naevus may be atrophic andbesides being in danger of severe haemorrhage fromtrauma, the patient may suffer from septicaemia iforganisms gain entry, in which case the energetic use ofantibiotics is an urgent matter. Treatment, in general,this is conservative. The repeated injection of hot waterand other sclerosing agents may help, but the method isuncertain. If arteriography reveals a feeding artery,therapeutic embolisation may be possible.

MY DAUGHTER IS ABOUT 3 YEARS OLD AND SUFFERING FROM

hypo-thyroidism and taking treatment. I want toknow about the signs, symptoms, complications

and treatment of the disease.The child appears short and stocky. The ratio between

the upper and lower segments is immature. Bone age isdelayed. Sexual development is usually infantile. Theabdomen is often protuberant with umbilical hernia. Theface appears puffy and cretinoid. The skin andsubcutaneous tissue are thickened with myxedematousappearance. The child appears lethargic and reaction timeis increased. The facial expression is dull and thesechildren are unusually susceptible to cold. The diagnosis isconfirmed by low T3 and T4 levels. The protein boundiodine level is usually low but may be normal. The plasmaTSH level is elevated. Blood cholesterol level is elevated inchildren older than 2 years. Treatment with dry extract ofthyroid, thyroxine or tri-iodo-thyronine helps inacceleration of physical growth.

– Dr Sanjay Teotia.

IAM A 48-YEAR-OLD WORKING WOMAN. SINCE LAST SIX MONTHS Ideveloped irregular and excessive bleeding in myvagina. I am confused by this type of bleeding tendency

of menopause or premenopausal symptoms. I haveconsulted a gynaecologist for this problem. Afterexamination and investigations she told me that you aresuffering from cancer of the uterus. I want to know aboutthis problem in detail.

There is much variation in the manner in which themenstrual periods cease at the time of the menopause.Only three variations should be regarded as physiological –i.e. sudden cessation, gradual diminution in the amountof loss with each regular period until they disappear,gradual increase in the spacing of the periods until theycease for an interval of six months. Any departure fromthese three forms should be regarded as pathological. It isa common misconception that irregular and excessiveuterine haemorrhage is a characteristic symptom ofmenopause. Even to this day cases of carcinoma (cancer)of the uterus are missed in their early stages because theirregular haemorrhage caused by the carcinoma isregarded as menopausal.

Any form of irregular haemorrhage arising in womenof menopausal age should be investigated with the utmostcare. Vaginal speculum and cytological examination mustbe insisted upon. The uterus should be curetted and thecurettings must be examined histologically. One of theworst mistakes ever made in gynaecology is to fail todiagnose carcinoma of the uterus when the growth is atany early stage of development. Apart from carcinoma ofthe uterus, other gynecological conditions such asmyomata polypi (fibroid) etc give rise to irregularhaemorrhage which very often can be easily treated andcured. All patients who suffer from irregular haemorrhageat the time of the menopause should therefore be carefullyexamined to determine the cause of this irregularity.

IAM A 48-EAYRS-OLD HOUSEWIFE AND OVERWEIGHT. I WANT TO

know about a weight reducing diet and that should notbe harmful for the body.A weekly weight loss of 0.5 to 1 kg should be the general

aim. An obese middle-aged housewife will usually loseweight satisfactorily on a diet providing 800 to 1000 K.Calper day. Dietary protein of 50 gm per day is sufficient tomaintain nitrogen balance. High-protein diets may satisfyappetite more effectively than high carbohydrate diets butthey are expensive.

The intake of foods rich in carbohydrate must bereduced since overindulgence in these is common. In a dietof 1000 Kcal per day, 100 gm of carbohydrate is a suitable

Q A&Your Body

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Strange MaladyMysterious diseases you never knew existed. By Shalini Bhardwaj.

Have you ever thought that arelaxing bath can causeburning pain all over the

body or a burst of deep laughtercould literally be fatal? No, this isnot a bizarre jest, but an unpleasantreality for few people, a kind of raredisease. The world is a queer placeand many medical conditions canthrow people for a loop.

Rare diseases also referred to asorphan diseases, are mostly geneticdiseases and appear early in life.These diseases affect a smallpercentage of the population allover the world and remain presentthroughout the person’s entire life.Unfortunately, there is still nodefinite cure for most of thesediseases. Many of us are not awarethat the last day of February eachyear is marked as Rare Disease Dayto raise awareness among thepublic, policymakers,researchers, and healthprofessionals about thesediseases and empathisethem with people whoare affected bythese diseases.

Alice in the wonderland syndromeAlice in Wonderland syndrome also

known as Todd’s syndrome is a rarecondition that temporarily changes howthe brain perceives things.

The syndrome associated withmigraine headaches is named after LewisCarroll’s book, Alice’s Adventures inWonderland, in which the protagonist,Alice, experiences the same kind ofsituations to those that occur to thesufferers of this syndrome. This rareneurological disorder is characterized bydistortions of visual perception, bodyimage, and the experience of time. Assufferers may see things smaller than theyare, feel their body size altered. Theindividual also loses a sense of time andsome experience strong hallucinations(visualising things that are not there). Thecondition, also known as micropsia or

Lilliput sight, can also affect the sense ofhearing and touch. Most commonperceptions occur at night. Thesyndrome can affect people at anyage, but it mainly occurs in children

and adolescents. The episodes ofAIWS are temporary and

generally considered harmlessin nature.

Here are eightstrange diseasesyou never knew

existed:

1


Water allergyAquagenic urticaria or water allergy is an extremely rare

condition in which hives (a type of itchy rash) develop rapidly,soon after water touches the skin. The individual affected bythis disease may also have burning sensations, welts, andinflammation. The allergy mostly affects women and anycontact with water, sometimes one’s own sweat or tears leavesintensely itchy, painful, and swollen rashes on the skin. Theconditions trigger only by skin contact with water, not bydrinking water so those who suffer from this disease do nothave a risk of dehydration. Scientists have found that it happensdue to hypersensitivity to the ions found in non-distilled waterand often a consequence of a hormonal imbalance in theperson. Allergy can occur anywhere on the body and changingwater temperature has no impact on the allergic reaction. Oncethe water source is removed and the skin is dry, the rashgenerally fades within 30 to 60 minutes.

Foreign accent syndromeForeign accent syndrome (FAS) is a speech

disorder that causes a sudden change inspeech pattern. Affected persons inexplicablystart talking in an unrecognizable dialect thatis different from their native accent.Sometimes their dialect closely resembles toaforeign accent which they had never acquiredor been exposed to. They may have never beento the country of origin of the new accent.Scientists have found that the sufferers of thissyndrome shared the same brain abnormalitiesthat are mostly caused by an injury to thecentral nervous system. The changes in speechlike pitch, voice intonation, substituting words,putting sentences together in the wrong way,and lengthening of vowel sounds tend toremain consistent in sufferers for over monthsand sometimes may last years.

Laughing deathLaughing death, more commonly known as Kuru, was found

among people of Papua New Guinea was characterized bysudden bursts of pathologic or maniacal laughter. The diseasehit the headlines in the 1950s and physicians observed men andwomen with shaking limbs, begin to sway and stumble, becomecross-eyed and lose the power of coherent speech. Individualsalso suffered from joint pains, headaches, became unable tostand or eat before eventually dying.

The American physician Carleton Gajdusek later discoveredthat the infection was being passed on to sufferers throughcannibalism (a practice of eating the brains of dead people) as apart of the funeral ritual. The people of Papua New Guineafollowed this practice as they believed that this would free thespirit of the dead. The physician, Gajdusek was awarded theNobel Prize for the discovery of this disease. Cannibalism waseliminated in early 1960, but the disease lingered for severaldecades due to its long incubation period.

2

3

4

Hutchinson-Gilford ProgeriaHutchinson-Gilford Progeria, which is simply known

as progeria is an extremely rare genetic disorder thatcauses quick and dramatic aging appearance inchildhood. This starts in the first two years of life. Amutation in the Lamin A gene is responsible forProgeria.

Children who are affected by this disease growmore slowly than normal children and develop aged-looking facial appearances like the beaked tip of thethin nose, protruding ears, prominent eyes, and thinlips. These children also develop physical traits like abigger head, wrinkled skin, loss of muscles, and high-pitched voice. The complications associated with thisdisease like hardening of the arteries, jointabnormalities can worsen over time and are life-threatening for the sufferers.

Moebius syndromeMoebius is an extremely rare, congenital

neurological disorder that primarily affects the nervesthat control facial expressions and eye movement.Affected individuals cannot smile, close their eyes, orraise their eyebrows. The weakness of multiple cranialnerves also affects the muscles that are responsible forchewing, speech, and swallowing. Along with facialparalysis, some limb abnormalities may also be presentlike clubbed feet and missing fingers. Other conditionsinclude bone abnormalities in the hands and feet,hearing loss, and weak muscles. According to theMoebius Syndrome Foundation, most cases areisolated, with no notable family history, and sufferersgo on to lead long and healthy lives.

Stoneman syndromeStoneman syndrome also known as Fibro dysplasia

ossificans progressivaor Munch Meyer’s disease is aultrarare connective tissue disorder in which bonesdevelop in areas of body where they are not normallypresent. This happens because soft tissues such asmuscle, tendons and ligaments, fuse as new bones.Bones keep growing with timeand eventually form asecondary skeleton in patient’s body. Major Joints ofthe body are locked,and the movement of affectedperson becomes difficult. Sufferershave malformedbig toes or thumbs present at birth. Due to painfulmultiple lumps and stiffness patients may face earlydisability.

5

6

7

THIS HAPPENSBECAUSE SOFTTISSUES SUCHAS MUSCLE,TENDONS ANDLIGAMENTS,FUSE AS NEWBONES. BONESKEEP GROWINGWITH TIMEANDEVENTUALLYFORM ASECONDARYSKELETON INPATIENT’SBODY.


Morgellons syndromeThis is a rare disorder in which the patient

complaints of parasites or fibre moving or coming outof their skin. They feel that fibres are embeddedunderneath their skin and erupting from sores. It is adelusional disorder where patients mistakenly believethat they are infested with skin parasite. People withthis disease complain of skin itching, burning, biting orcrawling sensations under feeling like there issomething crawling under their skin. The condition isoften accompanied by exhaustion, Disturbed sleep andtiredness. It may also cause short-term memory loss,joint pain, and changes in vision.

Conclusion"Eight mysterious diseases you never knew existed

"."Scientists are learning more each year and researchhas made progress to find the cause and understandthese mysterious diseases. Hopefully, one day expertswill find a way of treating these rare diseases andinoculate us. Hopefully in future these strange,puzzling diseases will fade into history. An optimisticsaying goes "A disease may be rare but hope shouldnot be."

8

We

Capturing memoriesI It was really awkward at the

beginning! When the weddingphotographer told us to gazefondly into one another’s eyes, Iremember thinking: We don’t dothat in real life much! I couldn’tstop giggling. But it certainly feltlike we were in the movie scene –and that’s a fun experience! Then,the day to choose thephotographs comes. We wereshown hundreds of raw shots. Atnearly every photo, my eyesgleaned and I never stoppedsmiling.

Maybe at this point, grooms,you start to wonder how longyou’re going to be here, or whenyou’re ever going to use any ofthese hundreds of photos againbecause it should be perfect. Whatyou might not realize then is thatyour pre-wedding shoot is a demoof the actual day. Without theactual tension of your weddingday! There’s no rushed pre-wedding ceremony, hurrying forsecond march-ins and squeezingbetween banquet tables to takecandid photos.

Yet the makeup artist hasalready worked his magic brusheson me to make me look every bitof beautiful. Plus, you deserve tolook amazing in your weddingattire. And there’s the time andspace to capture the romancebetween you both. That’s whatmakes pre-wedding photographyan extra special experience! It isalso from the pre-weddingphotography that you get to retellyour chemistry. So it was the mostunforgettable experience for me.

From the second two or threemeets, our weddingphotographer and the agreementis made, till the wedding date, itis typically a while. It isunthinkable for the weddingphotographer or for us torecollect all that was said. A pre-wedding shoot does not justreaffirm the connection betweenthe photographer and us yet itadditionally has other significantfavorable circumstances.

The big day is the greatest inthe couple's life.

As we feel that now we areunder extreme pressure withoutconfronting a total outsiderdirecting a camera towards usand asking us toward the present.Despite the significance of thosepictures, it is an excessive lot torequest from them.

But our photographer was sofriendly and we will cherish ourpictures forever.

– Dr Meera Rajput

“You look lovely!” saidAvi.

“And…?” Meeraknew more wascoming her way.

She held her phone fartheraway from her, tilted herface so her chin was juttingout, and sucked her cheeksin.

“Do I have to say it evenif I don’t feel it?”

“No!” she barked.“You look lovely, baby,

but not thinner. I am sorrybut I don’t see it.”

Meera sighed. Quickly,she moved on to discussother things like what was

camera, the very deviceguilty of adding tenpounds on everyonewithout any exception.

After three years of afairly smooth courtship,when Meera and Avi gotmarried in January 2020,the pandemic seemedevery bit real butsomebody else’s problem.Sure they would come upwith a vaccine! Sure theywould find a cure! Sure itwould be over soon!

When Avi flew back toCanada after ten days oftheir marriage and Meerabid him a teary goodbye,she knew she would joinhim as soon as herapplication was through.But March knocked withbad news. When thelockdown was announced,Meera’s first thought waswhy me! Of course withtime she understood that

The new normal . Muniza Tariq

Food For

Lockdown

ShortStory

After th ree yearso f a fa i r l y smoothcour t sh ip , whenMeera and Av i got marr ied inJanuary 2020, thepandemic seemedevery b i t rea l butsomebody e l se ’ sprob lem.

“You look lovely, baby, but not thinner.

I am sorry but I don’t see it.”

Avi eating, how often hewas cleaning up the house,how bad was the spread inhis area and other drabaffairs. Her distance-husband’s cruel admissionsimmered fresh in hermind.

Like dealing with thepandemic, managing along distance marriage andfrantic sanitization wasn’tenough, she had to provethat she was gettingthinner! That too on a

what she was treating as apersonal tragedy was reallya universal one and that shewould have to wait it out,with sanity and grace. Whatshe was thankful for wasthat she had retained herone-room set in Saket andhad a space she could callher own. She had spent aweek with her in-laws thena week with her folksbefore returning to herapartment.

All of April went intoadjusting to the new

norm: WFH. Meera workedin an advertising agency.She worked at odd hoursthrough the week but WFHturned out to be a moredemanding animal thanshe was ready for. Endlessvideo conferences, phonecalls, not to mention thepandemic paranoia,worried parents,concerned in-laws and ahusband in a different timezone, everything left herso exhausted that the onlything she could turn to forcomfort was food.

To her, food seemedcompletely selfless. It gavetaste, satisfaction,comfort, and the much-needed breaks from callsand presentations. Withtime, cooking becamemore than a skill she hadlearnt for survival; itbecame the centre of herexistence. Yes, there wassomething therapeuticabout chopping and slicingand grinding, most herfriends agreed, What shedidn’t take into accountwas the fact that most herapproving friends stayedwith families. So what theycooked was sought bymany mouths whereaswhat she cooked —potatoes of all kinds,versions of biryani, no-

bake cakes and cookies—was just hers to eat andkeep!

Love is tough to hide;love for food, specially so!It wasn’t till June end thather husband voiced hisconcern and they had theirfirst virtual but real fightwhere Meera keptrepeating that Avi was nolonger interested in herand Avi kept clarifying thatthe only reason he wasconcerned was because heloved her and wanted herto stay fit like before. Ithad ended with Aviapologizing for beingblunt, and Meera, forstress-eating and notcoping with distance-marriage better. Avipromised to be gentle thenext time he reminded herto watch her weight. Shepromised to find time forearly morning Yoga or lateevening pilates.

Day one she managedto get out of bed at 7 am.

Day two she slept inbecause evening wasalways an option. Till shefound out it wasn’t. Againshe turned towards herfriends, sobbed about howshe tried but failed everysingle day to commit toeven 30 minutes of physicalactivity and all they told herwas: it was like their lifestory! As long as she wastrying! And —a littlehesitant—her husbandcouldn’t set her fitnessgoals for her! Some of themwent ahead and told hershe was ‘de-selfing’ waytoo early in her marriageand she needed to put herfoot down.

Now two months hadslipped by and she was yetto see any changes in herwaistline and her troubledmind craved food as muchas she craved results. And

this is how it would havestayed had she not shareda screenshot of her videochat as her Instagram post:Our late night chats belike!

She had been carefulnot to reveal her body,focused on her face andsucked in her cheeks andclenched her jaw to lendher face a fake definition.Avi, on the other hand,looked drop deadhandsome, his neck long,face chiseled and his t-shirtsitting tight on his lean

muscular body. More thananything, he lookedeffortless hence amazing.So, one of their commonfriends pointed out:

“If I didn’t know youguys, I’d think @VeryAvi isyour toy boy,@MeeraSerene! LOL!”

TOY BOY overshad-owed LOL. Meeraimmediately took the postoff. What she also did wasvent her anger on herhusband. So when hevideo-called the followingnight, she disconnectedand texted him that shewas tired and not in themood to talk. Avi knewMeera like the back of his

hand. He texted her it wasok and she could take herown time to calm down.

CALM DOWN! I willshow him how to calmdown, she thought as sheswitched her phone off,stuffed her face withchocolate chip cookiesthat she had thought shewould treat herself to,after the workout but shedidn’t care anymore.

She emailed her folks(her father checked his

inbox every 30 minutes inthe hope of hearing from apublishing house), some ofher close friends, feelingvictorious about the silentpunishment she wasinflicting on the man sheloved the most.

On the third day, thedoorbell rang. It was 10am. She hadn’t orderedanything. She peepedthrough the eye-hole andthe ground from under herfeet shifted.

There she stood, hermother-in-law, looking likethe principal that she hadbeen all her life!

She opened the door,faking excitement andleaned in to hug her.

“What a pleasantsurprise, Ma! How areyou?”

They sat opposite eachother in the sitting areathat stretched betweenthe kitchen and herbedroom.

“Surprise? What wereyou thinking: you’ll switchoff your phone and that’llbe the end of it?”

“I mailed dad so youguys don’t worry. I wasjust…you know…I amtrying social mediacleanse…”

“Then switch off socialmedia, not your phone!”

“Good that I switched


To her, food seemedcomplete ly se l f less .I t gave taste,sat is fact ion,comfort , and themuch-neededbreaks f rom cal l sand presentat ions.With t ime, cook ingbecame more thana sk i l l she hadlearnt for surv iva l ;i t became thecentre of herex istence.

before the damn pandemicstruck. You used to run,you used to go forweekend Yoga classes, youused to find time and notexcuses. Hell, I once heardAvi crib about youcancelling a date becauseyou had to attend a danceclass. I even heard youused to work for a year andtravel for a year…You wereso – what’s the word – sorecklessly me-centric!”

Meera just looked on,struck by her mother-

in-law’s words even asrealization startedcrawling back in.

“I miss thatwoman…”she mumbled.

“Yeah, well, why missher when you can bring herback?” Her mother-in-lawbit into the chocolatecookie and winked oncemore.

The two womenchuckled the rest of theday away. When Meera’smother-in-law left, shetook with her a jar ofchocolate cookies,threatened Meera to beready with more beforeher next visit and got her ahuge order from a friendwho ran a cloud kitchen!

A satisfied smile playedon Meera’s lips as sheswitched her phone on anddialed Avi. He didn’t pickup. It was 6 pm, which was7:30 AM Canada time.Certain that he wassleeping in, she left him amessage: Guess you aresleeping! I am sorry aboutthe whole thing. Let’s talkafter 9 pm, my time! Gottaprep for my first officialcookie order!

What she didn’tmention was the But Yogaclass she signed up for thatvery night, for nobodyelse’s sake but her own.

“These are really nice! Youare good at this,” said

Meera’s mother-in-lawenjoying every bite.”

“These are real ly ,rea l ly n ice! You aregood at th is !” sa idMeera’s mother- in-law thoroughlyenjoy ing every b i te.Her candid pra iseput a smi le onMeera’s face. “ I am g lad you l i kethem! I have more.P lease take somefor dad!”

my phone off. That way Igot to see you! Come on,what will you have, tea orcoffee?”

“I’d like to know yourversion of the fight.” Shestared at Meera, adjustingher thick black glasses.

“ Avi called it a fight?He has been after my lifeto loose weight ever sincethe lockdown started. I amworking day and night, Iam cooking, cleaning,trying to keep myself freeat night so I can chat withhim, see him and all heever sees is my fat! If foodmakes me happy, whycan’t he be happy for me?Why can’t I catch a break!”

There, she spewed allthe venom that she hadheld back for Avi.

“Did you ever tell himthis?” Her mother-in-lawwas surprisingly calm asshe slumped back in herchair.

“I did…I mean…notexactly these words but Idid tell him I amoverworked.”

“Well, overworked isjust one part of it. Your

to share,” she said, lookedat Meera then winked,“but I am shamelesslyselfish. As were you, tillsometime ago.”

Meera, who was aboutto dunk a cookie into theteacup, stopped midway.

“What do you mean?”“I mean exactly what

my stupid son has beenfailing to communicate toyou! It’s not about losingweight, it is about findingtime for yourself, doingexactly what you used tobefore you got married,

workload isn’t even in yourhands! I am not talkingabout that. I am talkingabout what is in yourhands: the food part andthe happiness part!” Hermother-in-law left her spotand walked towards thekitchen. There she found apan, filled it with two cupsof water and startedmaking tea under Meera’sstupefied vigil.

Soon the two womenwalked back to their spotsand started sipping tea andmunched on the chocolatecookies.

“These are really, reallynice! You are good at this!”said Meera’s mother-in-law thoroughly enjoyingevery bite. Her candidpraise put a smile onMeera’s face.

“I am glad you likethem! I have more. Pleasetake some for dad!”

“I will take them but heis only getting a few. I like

We

Readers are invited to send in any health and medical queries they would like to be answered. Woman’s Era will

provide answers to your questions and offer solutions to yourproblems. Individual replies cannot be sent. Address your letters

(neatly written on white paper) to:

WOMAN'S ERA,E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055. Womansera.com


individual. If you have to undergo a cesareansection for any reason the open method isbest for it can be done along with thecesarean. Sterilisation by the open methodcan also be done a day or two after normaldelivery, the advantage being that you willbe able to rest and recoup in the same time asit is necessary for recovery from childbirthand usually people have someone to help

them around that time. The disadvantage is that it requires longer

hospitalisation and a bigger cut. Lapaoscopicsterilisation does the entire procedure through akeyhole but can be be done earliest at least 4-6 weeksafter delivery when you may or may not be preparedfor re-hospitalisation, even for a few hours. Animportant point to remember is that in a smallpercentage of cases the operation can fail by whatevermethod it has been done.

I AM FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD. PLEASE TELL

ME what is the best position to sleep in? Try not to sleep on your back from the beginning of

the fifth month onwards. This is because the growinguterus presses upon the big blood vessels that lieimmediately behind it leading to breathlessness andfainting attacks at times. It also inhibits digestion.Sleeping on the side, especially the left side increasesthe flow to the placenta thereby increasing the transferof oxygen and nutrients to the baby optimising hisgrowth. It also enhances the flow of blood to thekidneys which leads to better elimination of wasteproducts.

IS IT ADVISABLE TO CLIMB STAIRS AND LIFT WEIGHTS DURING

pregnancy?If you are not advised bed rest due to complications

and if you live on the upper floor, you can climb thestairs. Make sure that you do not wear heels. Take yourtime while climbing up or down the stairs. Do not haulyourself up by holding the railings and pulling yourselfup by your arms. Instead put each foot firmly on thenext step and climb.

As for weights, avoid lifting things that are heavy.For lifting smaller objects from the floor do not bendat the level of your waist to do so. Go near the object,lower yourself into a squatting position by bending yourknees and then pick it up.

– Dr Amrinder Kaur Bajaj, MD

IAM SEVEN AND A HALF MONTHS PREGNANT. THE PROBLEM

IS that I get heart burn that is making life intolerable.Please tell me what should I do about it?Heartburn, belching, gas etc occur because the

growing uterus pushes the stomach upwards and theacid from the stomach enters the food pipe leading to aburning sensation in the chest. In order to avoid thisproblem take small frequent meals; do not takeoily/spicy/sour foodstuff. Decrease your intake of teaand coffee. Stay upright for at least two hours aftermeals. Sometimes, a glass of milk with honey helps. Ifthe above simple measures fail, your doctor canrecommend some kind of medication to decrease theheartburn.

IHAVE PAIN IN THE CENTRAL LOWER REGION JUST BELOW MY

abdomen in the bone. It has become so severe that Iam unable to stand on one foot. Please tell me why

has it occurred and what should be done about it.The joints loosen up during pregnancy to facilitate

labour. This causes the problems that you areexperiencing. A warm compress can feel really good forthis odd sore spot. Visit your obstetrician/orthopaedicspecialist for treatment if the condition does notimprove.

IAM IN THE EIGHTH MONTH OF MY THIRD PREGNANCY. I WOULD

like to get a sterilisation operation done afterdelivery. Please tell me what is the right method and

the right time to get such an an operation done and whatare the side-effects. I would also like to know whatexactly is done to prevent conception. Some people tellme that they take out the uterus. I would not like that forI am only 32 years old.

First of all let me enlighten you regarding theprocedure. On both sides of the uterus are tubes calledfallopian tubes that end in finger like processes calledfimbria. These hang over the ovaries, which again arepresent on either side of the uterus and pick up the eggwhen it comes out of the ovary, once in a month. Thetube carries the egg towards its middle and the spermsswim up to fertilise it in the tube.

These tubes that play such a vital role in conceptionare occluded during the sterislation operation. Theuterus is definitely not removed so rest assured on thataccount.

The tubes are either tied and cut in the open methodand cauterised or have a tight band fitted over a loop onboth sides during laparoscopic or keyhole surgery. Theexact method and time varies from individual to

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Q A&I am Pregnant

Are dreams and life just an illusion? By Charuta Malshe

The science of psychology

defines dreaming as asequence of perceptions,

thoughts, and emotions duringsleep that is experienced as a seriesof actual events. The dream contentis based on the happenings in theperson’s everyday life. Dreamsdramatize people's conceptions andconcerns about personal issues.And recurrent dreams, nightmares,

and unpleasant everyday dreamsare in some way related to one'spsychological health.

This is an effort to look back tomy nightmares with thisperspective.

In my pre-school days, mynightmares used to be about lepersand eunuchs.

Visually there used to besomething frightening about the

lepers and eunuchs. The deformedfaces, hands, and feet of the lepers,normally begging in pairs with onesitting on a makeshift cart and theother pulling the cart, both singingsome devotional song in the mostdreadful voices, an ultimate pictureof pathos. There was the fear of onecontacting the contagious diseaseand becoming a social outcast likethem.

NightmaresA Reflection

As for the eunuchs, their roughand rogue like looks, their talkingand singing in incongruous loudvoices, the loud clapping, theirshameful and threatening gestureof pulling up their sarees, theirforced entries into householdshaving new-borns, and the rumoursabout their abducting children forconverting them into eunuchs werean ideal nightmare content.

The prospect of gettingcaught/abducted by either of thesecategories would give me sleeplessnights. These nightmares probablyresulted from the childhoodinsecurities where we did not have avery secure childhood under a non-loving, tyrannous father and arelatively non-strong mother. At theback of one’s mind, there was thefear of getting lost and no onemaking any efforts to find you outor rescuing you.

SERIOUS REFLECTIONIn the school and college days,

the nightmares used to bepredominantly about missing anexamination paper or getting latefor a particular test and not beingable to complete all the answers.These nightmares had a directcorrelation to my anxiety forperforming well in theexaminations, under family,teachers’ and peer pressure, and mymental make-up. I don’t recollectany young prime age nightmares.Probably this was a period when Ihad a secure, well-paying job, hadfinished the minimum desired levelof education, and was living in arelatively safe and comfortablemarital household, with nothingmuch to worry about in life.

Post the age of 60, thenightmares pertain to my going tosome difficult, dangerous, slipperyterrain inadvertently and gettingstranded there, seeing other peoplegoing by about their ways butmyself getting into a place which isinaccessible for my rescue. It wouldbe some steep slippery slopedescending into a deep dangerousspot with springs of boiling water or

dark green mossy depths or gettingstuck on a crumbly mountain whereI am unable to get hold of anythingto haul myself up onto some safeplace.

And invariably I would get intosuch situations by following somecompany, who would go on to theirown ways, leaving me behind alonestranded.

I find a direct relation of thesenightmares to some stressfulfinancial issues encountered orsome interpersonal relationshipissues which seem insurmountable

or non-correctable. These real-lifesituations would invariably make mefeel helpless and lonely and possiblyresulted in reducing self-confidenceand pseudo daredevilry.

My mother used to get anightmare towards the last years ofher life- she would be walking alone,gradually getting into some darkalley, losing sight of others walkingthe same path, and the alleygradually going darker, narrower,and more silent. Gradually even thesounds of people talking, vehiclesbeing driven by and in general of


life, would reduce and go silent, andthe initial light around her would godim and more dim to ultimatelypitch darkness. She would suddenlyfind herself walking on all alone andwake up frightened.

Was the nightmare some sort offoreboding of her life progressingtowards death?

To end this rather seriousreflection on a lighter note, I attimes go very early morning forwalks and try and imagine how onewould feel walking all alone ondimly lit roads with hardly anyexternal sound. This has failed tofrighten me so far. Perhaps my timeis yet to come! We

THE PROSPECT OFGETTINGCAUGHT/ABDUCTED BYEITHER OF THESECATEGORIES WOULDGIVE ME SLEEPLESSNIGHTS. THESENIGHTMARESPROBABLY RESULTEDFROM THE CHILDHOODINSECURITIES WHEREWE DID NOT HAVE AVERY SECURECHILDHOOD.

Are you high on sex? By Roma Chouhan

Life as aNymphomaniac!

Ahuge number of individualsbattle with sex habits, andit makes it intense for them

to carry on with their livesordinarily. Sex habits can keep youdown in life since you'recontinually engaging in ground-breaking sexual desires and otherpsychological wellness issues.Your psychological well-being canendure in different manners whenyou have a sex habit, and you maybe thinking about how you're trulygoing to get things back tonormal. Fortunately, there aremedicines for sex addiction thathave been demonstrated to bevery viable. Explore the sexaddiction treatment alternativesbeneath, and you'll find out abouthow well they function just asgetting some answers concerningdifferent things that you ought toconsider about your psychologicalwell-being.

Individuals with sex addictionwill be not able to stop theconduct except if there is a type ofinterceding time. Subsequently,individual and expert connectionsmay endure. There may even be anexpanded danger of explicitlycommunicated contamination,including HIV if an individual can'tget control over their sexualdriving forces. Individuals with asex addiction regularly will utilizesex as a type of break from otherenthusiastic and mental issues,including pressure, tension,unhappiness, and social seclusion.

What are the symptoms of sex craving?

One trait might be the mystery ofbehavior, in which the individualwith the issue gets capable ofhiding their behavior and can evenkeep the condition mysterious frommates, accomplices, and relatives.They may lie about their exercisesor take part in them now and againand places where they will not bediscovered.

However, now and thenindications are available andrecognizable. An individual mayhave a sex compulsion if they showa few or the entirety of theaccompanying signs:

● Obsessive relations withvarious accomplices, includingoutsiders

● Lying to cover behavior● Preoccupation with having

intercourse, in any event, when itmeddles with day by day life,efficiency, work execution, and soon

● Inability to stop or control thebehavior

● Feeling regret or blame aftersex

Keen behavior can strainconnections, for instance, with thepressure of unfaithfulness — albeita few people may profess to havesex addiction as an approach toclarify betrayal in a relationship.

Finding support Sexual habit requires therapy

from a clinical expert experienced inthe field, for example, an analyst,specialist, or sex therapist.Treatment can differ dependent onthe basic reason, however willregularly be led on an outpatientpremise with directing and conducttreatments.

Sex addiction is related to atension issue or temperament issue;drugs might be endorsed as afeature of the treatment plan. Thereare right now no settledsuggestions on the properutilization of drugs to treat sexaddiction outside of the domain ofthese clinically ordered problems.

The primary purpose of contact

can be a family specialist or nearbymental affiliation, the two of whichcan refer to the suitable trainedprofessional. Conjugal treatmentmay likewise be helpful.

There are additionally several sexcompulsion uphold gatherings,some of which manage co-options,(for example, sex and substancemisuse) and others of which arebased on a 12-venture recuperationmodel.

12-venture recuperation modelPrograms, for example, Sex

Addicts Anonymous (SAA) follow asimilar recuperation model asAlcoholics Anonymous (AA). Theycan be exceptionally useful fortending to sex addiction. Individualsaren't needed to give up sex totally,yet they are urged to abstain fromenthusiastic and damaging sexualconduct.

Intellectual behaviortreatment

This kind of treatment can assistan individual with distinguishingtriggers for sexual motivations andat last show them how to modifypractices. This is accomplishedthrough one-on-one meetings withan authorized wellness specialist.

Medicine A few people may profit from a

course of medication treatment.Certain antidepressants may helpreduce urges (which is discretefrom the possible results of certainantidepressants that can causediminished drive. or debilitatedifferent parts of the sexualexperience). Treatment forNymphomaniac include, family orsocial theraphy. With treatment, itis possible to cope compulisivesexual behaviour.


We

SEX ADDICTION IS RELATED TO A TENSION ISSUE ORTEMPERAMENT ISSUE; DRUGSMIGHT BE ENDORSED AS AFEATURE OF THE TREATMENTPLAN. THERE ARE RIGHT NOW NOSETTLED SUGGESTIONS ON THEPROPER UTILIZATION OF DRUGSTO TREAT SEX ADDICTIONOUTSIDE OF THE DOMAIN OFTHESE CLINICALLY ORDEREDPROBLEMS.

In fact, at any time. By Santosh Pattanaik

Shopping is a necessary activity,and we all enjoy shopping. Butthere are also people who

“shop till they drop”. They have adeeper problem with the buyingsyndrome known as oniomania, aterm first coined by Emil Kraepelin,a German psychiatrist in 1915 fromthe Greek verb ‘to buy’. Oniomanicshave fantasies of grandiosity whenbuying and compulsively shop toexperience feelings of being richand respected. Some expertsbelieve that the addiction issymptomatic of other problemssuch as bipolar or obsessivecompulsive disorder, others believeit is a distinct illness.

The American PsychologicalAssociation calls oniomania a formof self-medication againstdepression. The human mind cravesthe stimulation of new and differentthings, and shopping is anexhilarating experience for theshopaholics. What experts believe isthat you are shopping not becauseyou need something, but becausethe very act of shopping itselfmakes you feel better and relaxed,so you become compelled to do so.The adrenaline rush, the fantasywhich surrounds the episode andeverything which precedes theactual spending spree - all add tothe sense of unreality which bringsa false sense of freedom from life’sproblems. It is a thought that theact of shopping releases a chemicalin the brain known as serotonin,which is closely involved in thecontrol of mood (low levels ofserotonin have been linked to

depression and other mood-relatedproblems).

Shopping in general is still awoman’s pursuit and a culturallyaccepted norm, and shopaholicsoften, though not always, arewomen. Establishing a self-identityis a social phenomenon, and sincepossessions are viewed as anextension of oneself, women seemto consider possessions as symbolicof interpersonal integration andemotional attachment. Youngwomen tend to express themselvesthrough their clothing andjewellery, and have an irresistible

desire to acquire large amounts ofitems which would affect theirappearance – i.e. cosmetics,jewellery, shoes, clothing, etc –suggesting that compulsive buyersare extremely conscious of theirappearance. Compulsive buyingdevelops in the late teens, althougha decade passes before the victimrealises the magnitude of theproblem.

Shopaholics, when they arefeeling ‘out of sorts’, shop for a

Shopaholics:Beware of Shopping Sprees

‘pick-me-up’ and go out to buy toget a ‘high’, a ‘rush’ – just like a drugor alcohol addict. Women with suchcompulsive disorder, often haveracks of clothes and possessionswith the price tags still intactwithout being ever used! In somecases, shopaholics have anemotional ‘black out’ and do noteven remember having boughtthese articles. In such cases, itbecomes a thing of secrecy, moneygets borrowed, credit cards aremaxed, bills go unpaid, shame and

guilt become constant companions,and fear of discovery haunts theirminds every now and then.Compulsive buying turns into abehaviour that is ‘uncontrollable’and ‘significantly distressing, time-consuming and resulting in socialand financial difficulties’. Studieshave found that compulsive buyerssuffer from recurrent and intrusive

urges to buy, which areaccompanied by mounting

anxiety. Buying, whichoccurred in response to

these urges, is seen as anattempt to neutralise the

anxiety and discomfort

experienced by the shopaholic. Thispattern closely resembles thesequence of thoughts andbehaviours associated withobsessive compulsive disorder(OCD), wherein a behaviour orcompulsion is performed in order toneutralise the discomfortassociated with an intrusivethought or obsession.

TYPES OF COMPULSIVEBUYERS

Elizabeth Hirschman(1922)divided compulsive consumers intotwo categories: ‘distressed’ and‘sociopathic’. Distressed compulsiveconsumers ‘turn to an externalsubstance or behavior to (i) helpthem escape their anxiety and (ii) tohelp them feel more in control ofthemselves. Sociopathic compulsiveconsumers exhibit strong impulsivedrives that are irresistible andexhibit low levels of remorse andguilt over their reactions. Hirschmancategorised compulsive buyers asdistressed compulsive consumersbecause of the degree to whichthey express guilt and remorse overtheir actions. One report shows that

BUYING, WHICHOCCURRED INRESPONSE TO THESEURGES, IS SEEN AS ANATTEMPT TONEUTRALISE THEANXIETY ANDDISCOMFORTEXPERIENCED BY THESHOPAHOLIC.

as much as 10 per cent of theconsumer population engages incompulsive shopping and as a markof protest against such over-consumerism, ‘buy-nothing-day’ isbeing observed in the westerncountries immediately after theThanksgiving Day.

O’Guinn and Faber (1989 ) intheir study of 386 self-identifiedcompulsive buyers and 250 normalbuyers found that compulsivebuyers were largely female, hadsimilar income levels to the normalgroup and were generally younger(eight years) than the non-compulsive buyers. Other resultsshowed that compulsive buyersscored higher on the obsessivecompulsive dimension, had lowerself-esteem, tended to fantasisemore than the ‘normal’ buyers.Compulsive buyers experiencednegative consequences as a resultof their spending, they had greaternumber of credit cards, paid fewerin full each month, spent 42 percent of their monthly income onpaying off debts, while the generalsample spent only 22 per cent. Asurprising finding was thatpossessiveness was not a motive fortheir binge buying behaviour, they


Recognise your depression, talkto your doctor who mayrecommend some counselling tohelp you get to the bottom of theproblem. Talk to family and friendsabout your feelings and try toidentify and address the problems.Shopping is not the only thing toraise your serotonin level. Exerciseand certain foods includingcarbohydrates and chocolates,help it explains why some peopleeat to feel better. Several anti-depressants also work in serotoninlevels, and your doctor maysuggest you try taking a course ofone of them.

Don’t carry credit cards, unlessyou have decided beforehand on apurchase which warrants one.Don’t carry your cheque bookunless it is absolutely necessary.Don’t make shopping your

recreational activity. If you feelbored, get involved in some hobby.Don’t window-shop. Check yourtemptation for buying oninstalments. Draw up a budget atthe beginning of the month. If youhave any surplus, buy somethinguseful. Go shopping with someonewho understands your oniomanictendency, make a list of theessentials and stick to it.

were not concerned with what theyhad purchased; they were simplystimulated by the buying processitself! Many compulsive buyersreported feelings of guilt, remorseand frustration over their lack ofcontrol over their behaviour, andthe detrimental effects on theirinter-personal relationships.

THE BEHAVIOURALDISORDER

Oniomania typically occurs incycles. Depression, boredom, angeror emotional distress may set off animpulse to shop. Shopping givesoniomanics a sort of euphoria – a‘high’. They are very susceptible toadvertising and will buy things tomake themselves feel more powerfuland secure. There is usually a let-down afterwards, followed by guiltover the wasted money or debt. Thisleads to depression, which can setoff another episode of shoppingspree. A holiday is particularlydifficult for the compulsive shopper.With the advent of festivals andbirthdays, there is an increase in thebuying level of these people.

Compulsive shoppers experienceother disorders too, such asalcoholism, pathologic gambling orimpulsive sexual activity and, as withall addictions, the resulting sense ofshame, remorse and guilt,accompanied by feelings ofhopelessness and helplessnessleading to despair. Often the remedyfor the despair is more addictivebehaviour resulting in more self-destructive feelings.

Treatment of compulsiveshopping may be more complicatedthan treating a physical addiction,like drug or alcohol abuse, becauseshopping is something that cannotbe avoided altogether. However, likeother compulsive disorders,scientists are working on a cure foroniomania. At Stanford University,researchers are testing a drug totreat a shopaholic’s desire to spend,and it could be just around thecorner. The most drastic methodadvocated by psychiatrists involveslimiting the shopaholic’s access tomoney, together with counsellingand family therapy. A lot, however,depends on the shopaholicsthemselves.

Some tips to protect yourself, if you feel youmay be at risk :

We


child is kept under blue lights for days with theeyes and genitalia covered for protection.

This will probably suffice in the case of yourbaby and he will be right as rain in a few days.Exchange transfusion is required when thebilirubin levels are so high that there is apossibility of the brain being affected. Thebaby’s blood is replaced by fresh blood to bringdown the biluribin levels with immediate effect

so that brain damage is minimised.

MY LITTLE DAUGHTER IS SUFFERING FROM IRRITATION IN THE

vaginal area from a year and a half. We havealready consulted skin specialists and urinary

experts too with no relief. Kindly help.First of all we have to look for the cause of irritation in

the vaginal area. She could be suffering from pinwormsthat can travel from the anal region to the vagina. De-worming helps in such cases and can be repeated after a while.

A gynecological consult will be useful. Local applicationof estrogen (a female hormone) cream helps cases ofintractable irritation of the vaginal area but have to begiven over prolonged periods and under medicalsupervision.

Other causes are fungal and/or trichomonal infections.Treatment is easily available for the same. If she hasvaginal discharge it can be tested by the pathologist andtreatment decided accordingly. Very occasionally, only ifno other cause is found can a psychological reason beattributed to the above symptoms.

IHAVE A SEVEN MONTHS OLD SON. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT

food should I give him? I have started cereals, rice with vegetables etc. please advice what else should

I give him.The foods you have started are good enough.

Commercially available weaning foods like Cerelac andNestum can also be given though they work out to be moreexpensive. You could mash bananas, potatoes etc and givehim a small amount at a time or even give her half-boiledeggs and fruit juice. Semolina, rice kheer, custard, thinkhichdi can also be given.

Do not bombard her taste buds with different kinds offood at one go lest they get confused! You could introduceone type of food in a week so that she gets used to it andthen add another the next week. Make sure that you keepher likes and dislikes in mind and don’t force feed her foodsthat she throws out just because you think are good for her.

– Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.

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Readers are invited to send their problems of child care andchild rearing. WOMAN’S ERA will provide the answers,solutions to problems usually encountered by mothers, youngand old. Address your letters (neatly written on white paper) to:

WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.

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●

Q A&Child Challenges

THIS IS THE FIRST WINTER OF MY SEVEN MONTHS OLD

daughter. I would like to keep her warm andcompletely covered but my mother-in-law says that I

should either cover her head or her feet and one shouldnot put a cap and booties on together. Is that right?

No. you should keep her covered well and that includesboth head and feet. The head of the baby is large inproportion to her body and she can lose heat very easily if itis left uncovered, even for a short while.

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW MANY MILK TEETH A CHILD HAS AND

what is the order of their eruption?A child has a set of 20 milk teeth (upper and lower jaw

combined) that comprise of two incisors or front teeth, acanine on either side of the incisors and the first andsecond molar at the back on either side on each jaw.Dentition begins at six months of age and is completed by24 months. The first to appear are the lower centralincisors at six months of age while the upper centralincisors and the lower lateral incisors erupt at sevenmonths. The first molars appear between 12 to 14 months,the canines between 16-18 months and the second molarsbetween 20-24 months.

MY WIFE HAD A NORMAL DELIVERY. DUE TO PAUCITY OF BEDS

in the hospital we were sent home the very nextday and asked to bring the baby back for a check

up after five days. To our horror we were told that he hasdeveloped jaundice and needs to be readmitted. What arethe repercussions of such a situation? I am very worried.

Physiological jaundice occurs in approximately 50% ofnewborns. It is characterised by yellowish discoloration ofthe skin and the white of the eyes and appears on thesecond or third day of birth, disappearing within 1 to 2weeks. The yellowing begins in the upper par of the bodyand spreads downwards. This is not an infective conditionbut occurs because the baby in the womb has higherheamoglobin levels than a newborn as the former has toextract oxygen from the maternal blood while the lattergets it directly from the air.

As there is no need for the extra red blood cells afterbirth they are destroyed. Jaundice is caused by theaccumulation of bilirubin (a waste product produced bythe breakdown of red blood cells) in the blood, skin, andother tissues as the immature liver of the newborn is unable to remove this substance effectively from the body.

If the jaundice appears earlier or the bilirubin levels arehigh (as in your case), the baby may need phototherapyor even exchange transfusion. During phototherapy the

It feels like you donʼt care; oh, why donʼt you recognize Iʼm so Rare? By Sujatha Rao

Rare Is Strong

Iwas reminded of these wordsfrom Selena Gomez’s song“Rare” when I recently read

about the thought behind startingthe “World Rare Disease Day” toraise awareness amongst thegeneral public and decision-makersabout the rare diseases that afflictaround 300 million people acrossthe world.

When?The first Rare Disease Day was

celebrated on 29th February 2008 –a rare day that occurs only once infour years so that the daysymbolically stands for the rarenessof the diseases beingcommemorated. Since then it hastaken place every year on the lastday of February– a month known to

have a “rare” number of daysacross the 12 months of the year.

Where?Though the campaign started as

a European event with just 18countries joining it in the year 2008,it has progressively become aworldwide phenomenon with over100 countries taking part in it in the

year 2019 through conductingvarious events across the globe. In2013, Spain took it further bydeclaring it as the National Year forRare Diseases. In India patientorganizations first got involved inthe Rare Disease Day in the year2010.

Why?Due to the rarity and wide

ranging diversity of the rarediseases, research needs to becarried out across the globe whileensuring that researchers, cliniciansstay connected to benefit from thepooling of not only the resourcesbut also the knowledge without anyconstraints of boundaries.

Celebrating Rare Disease Day is astep towards creating such aninclusive society. It also creates anopportunity to advocate for themas human rights priority at all levelsacross the globe.

The long-term aim of the RareDisease Day campaign is to achieveequitable access to diagnosis,treatment, health, and care forpeople affected by rare diseases.

What?Some of the key facts and figures

associated with the rare diseasesare:

Key CharacteristicsRare diseases display a very

broad diversity of symptoms whichnot only vary from disease todisease but also differ from personto person. This diversity makes it allthe more difficult for arriving at aproper diagnosis.

Most of these diseases aredisabling and they also tend to beprogressively degenerating, therebyseverely impacting the quality of lifeof the people afflicted by the saiddiseases. For the majority of thesediseases, no effective cures areleading to an extremely high level oftrauma, both in the patients andtheir caretakers. The campaignaround the Day targets primarily thegeneral public while also seeking toraise awareness amongst thepolicymakers, public authorities,

industry representatives,researchers, health professionals,caretakers, and anyone who has agenuine interest in rare diseases.

Key FiguresThere are over 6,000 identified

rare diseases around the world,though each of these diseases mayaffect very few people. Forinstance, in Europe, a rare disease isdefined as a disease that affects lessthan 2000 people. But collectivelythese diseases wreak havoc on 3.5%- 5.9% of the world population.

72% of the rare diseases aregenetic with 70% of them starting inchildhood. The rest 28% are mostlythe result of infections, allergies,environmental causes, etc.

Numbers in IndiaAs India is the second-most

populous country in the world,there are more than 70 millionpeople affected by the rare diseasesin the country, proving that therarity of the disease doesn’t extendto the rarity in the number ofpatients suffering from it.

Due to its very high populationand a very low number of doctorsper thousand people, diagnosis andaffordability become even moredifficult in a developing country likeIndia.


THE FIRST RAREDISEASE DAY WASCELEBRATED ON 29THFEBRUARY 2008 – ARARE DAY THATOCCURS ONLY ONCE INFOUR YEARS SO THATTHE DAYSYMBOLICALLY STANDSFOR THE RARENESS OFTHE DISEASES BEINGCOMMEMORATED.SINCE THEN IT HASTAKEN PLACE EVERYYEAR ON THE LAST DAYOF FEBRUARY.

As per Medlife, the top five rarediseases in India are Haemophilia,Thalassemia, Sickle Cell Anemia,Pompe’s disease, and CysticFibrosis.

Who?● Hundreds of patient

organizations are involved inconducting events at the grass-roots levels across the globe toraise awareness about RareDiseases.

● Eurordis is the globalcoordinator of the Rare Disease Daycampaign. ‘Organisation for RareDiseases in India’ and ‘IndiaOrganisation for Rare Diseases’ isthe two national alliancesassociated with it.

● The website“rarediseaseday.org” proclaims“Rare is many. Rare is strong. Rareis proud.”

Th e “Rare” VoicesIt was an extremely humbling

and uplifting experience to feel theindomitable spirit behind theseextraordinarily “rare” human beingsfrom their stories posted on therarediseaseday.org website.

The following quotes are culled outfrom a few inspiring ones:

“Live your life with no regrets,learn from your mistakes, and don’tever wish to change a thing or wishto have done anything differently.Everything that has happenedhappens for a reason, it gets you towhere you are today. Love with

every ounce of your soul, if you givethat kind of love, someone,somewhere will want to give it backto you.”

Vanamala from India has beenliving with the rare disease mixedconnective tissue disease (acombination of disorders – primarilyLupus, Scleroderma, andPolymyositis) over the last 30 years.

“He (the rare disease) is not afaceless attacker. The morehumanity is hungry for wrong, themore closely we shall find him.

It's not the strongest or theintellectuals who survive his attack,instead (it is) personalities mostresponsive to change.”

Rachit from India has the raredisease Isaac Syndrome (animmune-mediated peripheralneuron disorder)

“Without giving up hope—thatthere’s somewhere better to be,that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where weare or who we are.”

Nabila, from Ahmedabad, Indiahas been battling the rare diseaseHemophilia (a bleeding disorderwhere the blood does not clot

properly) over the last 35 years. I look back now at my life and I

wonder if I was born without SickleCell, would I have had so muchconcern for certain things which Inow have concern for, like access tohealthcare, maternal mortality, rarediseases, and the rights of personsliving with it, learning to appreciatethe little things in life which wouldhave been just too banal? I do notknow, but I believe that havingSickle Cell may have made my bodyweak, but my mind, my intellect,and my view of life have beengreatly powered up.

And so yes, I have Sickle CellDisease and I do not give a hoot ofwhat anyone may think about me.

Anne-Chantal, a mother of twochildren from France has the rareSickle Cell Disease (a group ofdisorders that distort the red bloodcells into a sickle shape)

I live with Agammaglobulinemia,and no, it is not the name of my petbut my disease.

I can say that I am the only manwith a period, I have 10 good days,and the rest ... are withunpredictable symptoms that youdo not know how it will affect you.

Despite this, to this day I amproud of everything I haveachieved. I work for a greatcompany with a position ofresponsibility and wanting tocontinue growing and developingpersonally.

Don't give up, anything ispossible!

Hicham from Spain lives with therare disease Agammaglobulinemia(a group of inherited immunedeficiencies)

Conclusion“Awareness precedes change,”

said Robin Sharma. The concerted efforts of the

global campaign around the ‘RareDisease Day’ seem to have definitelysucceeded in not only creatingawareness but also in bringingabout change for the betterthrough the collective power ofthese “rare” stories.


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“LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHNO REGRETS, LEARNFROM YOUR MISTAKES,AND DON’T EVER WISHTO CHANGE A THING ORWISH TO HAVE DONEANYTHINGDIFFERENTLY.


The baby girl was born but the family wasn't so delighted.Her papa took her in arms: she was gentle, sweet-faced,dark-haired, and pink lips.Looking at her beauty, her papa fell in love.First, she learned to walk and then talk.Meanwhile, her papa got a peon's job in a school so theyconsidered the girl lucky and they lived merrily.She grew up by playing: making paper dolls, hide and seek,jump roop, tag, blind men's bluff etc..Her papa pampered her a lot.

An accident happenedto her papa, when she completed her schoolIn which, he lost his legs.The family were appalled.Luckily, the surgery of her papa was successful.After that, the life was walking sadly.Her papa was lying on a bed with sets of medicines, teary-eyedMother sat with him.Slowly, financial problems started to occur.So she asked the school principal to give her the job at her papa'sPlace and the principal agreed.

She started working as a peon.Her juniors had often laughed at her but she never took it in mind.When the tired girl would returned in the evening, meal early,takes three-four hours rest and then went to attend the night college classes.Sometimes, she was exhausted to attend the class but somehowShe would convinced herself by standing in front of the mirror.She endeavoured and never gave up.

Eventually, the dark days came to end.Her graduation completed and She gave an interview in a companyDue to her working experience, she selected as a supervisor.When she gave the sweets to her papa, he put his hand on hershoulder with proud and said "My daughter is my son.”

– Soniya Girap

My Daughter isMy Son


Diamond Mining In India

A29.5-carat diamond (onecarat is 200 milligrams) wasunearthed in a diamond

mine in Panna district of MadhyaPradesh (MP) on September 13,2019. According to local experts, thediamond is likely to fetch a price ofRs 1.5 to two crore in the market.

Brajesh Upadhyay, a diamondminer, found this high-qualitydiamond during excavation at amine, 15 km from Panna city. Hedeposited it with the local diamondoffice which sells them by auctiononce every year. The person whodiscovered the diamond getsproceeds of the auction, minusgovernment royalty and taxes.

In the words of BrajeshUpadhyay, “I have been working inthe mines for the last 25 years.Earlier I have found smallerdiamonds, but this is for the firsttime I have got a diamond of thissize and weight.” Panna diamondmines are estimated to havereserves of about 12 lakh carats ofdiamonds.

Facts about diamonds. By G. V. Joshi

DIAMOND MINING IN INDIA EXTENDS BACK INTOANTIQUITY. FROM ANCIENT TIMES, INDIA WASTHE SOURCE OF NEARLY THE ENTIRE WORLD'SWELL-KNOWN AS WELL AS FAMOUS DIAMONDSLIKE KOH-I-NOOR, HOPE, ORLOV, GREATMUGHUL AND THE LIKE.

Earlier in June 2010, the NationalMineral Development Corporation(NMDC) which carried out diamondmining at Panna had found a 34.4carat diamond. This is the biggestdiamond found at Panna diamondmines. The diamond fetched thecompany handsome money. NMDChad earlier found a 32 caratdiamond in the Panna mine, but ithad some defects. Even then, it wassold for Rs 95 lakh in the auction.

Diamond mining in India extendsback into antiquity. From ancienttimes, India was the source ofnearly the entire world's well-known as well as famous diamondslike Koh-I-Noor, Hope, Orlov, GreatMughul and the like.

Until the discovery of diamondsin Brazil in 1726, India was the onlycountry where diamonds weremined. India has not been a majordiamond-producing country sincethe 1700s, and diamond miningcontinues on a very small scale eventoday at Panna. In 2013, India mined37,515 carats of diamonds.However, this is negligiblecompared to the world productionof 132.9 million carats.

As of today, there is only onediamond mine in India, theMajhgawan mine, near the town ofPanna, Madhya Pradesh.

The mine is owned by theNational Mineral DevelopmentCorporation (NMDC). The minebegan regular production in 1967,and to date, has yielded slightlymore than a million carats ofdiamonds.

There are also numerous small -scale mines. The Madhya Pradeshgovernment leases 8×8 metre plotsto individuals at Panna, who washthe gravel for diamonds. Alldiamonds found are required to behanded over to the governmentdiamond office in Panna, whichmarkets the diamonds, and givesthe sales proceeds to the finders,less taxes and 11.5 % royalty. In 2016,there were officially 952 smallmines, which yielded only 835 caratsof diamonds. However, there are alarge number of small illegal minerswhose output is not known.

The well-known Rio Tinto Grouphad discovered the Bunder diamonddeposit in 2004 in Chhatarpurdistrict near Buxwaha. The depositwas in an ecologically sensitive areaand involved cutting of very largenumber of trees for furtherdevelopment. In February 2017, RioTinto quit work on the project, andsurrendered the discovery and allon-site equipment to theGovernment of Madhya Pradesh.

Diamonds were reported fromnumerous places across India, butmost of the diamond mining tookplace in the drainages of the Pennarand Krishna rivers in AndhraPradesh. This area was the source ofmany legendary gems, including theKoh-i-noor, Nizam, Hope, Regent,Great Mogul, and Orlov diamonds.

The town of Karwan, near the cityof Golkonda, near Hyderabad,became the world's largestdiamond-cutting and diamond-trading centre. The diamondsbecame known as GolcondaDiamonds. Diamond mining in thePanna region around 1675 AD wasinitiated during the rule ofChhatrasal, the Bundela ruler.Diamond mining has continued inPanna region since then.

THE TRADITION OFDIAMOND RINGS

Diamonds were discovered inSouth Africa by a child playing withbrightly coloured stones by a riverin 1866. One of the stones wasrecognised to be a diamond and thegem cut from it was appropriatelynamed "Eureka". This created amassive diamond rush and the startof M/S De Beers. Diamonds mined inSouth Africa still continue to makeup a large percentage of the world'sdiamond jewellery.

Diamond rings are todayconsidered to be a token of love,particularly when given to one by asuitor. The tradition of diamondrings being used for engagements isbelieved to have begun whenAustria's Archduke Maximilianmade a gift of a diamond ring uponhis engagement to Mary ofBurgundy.

The wearing of a diamond ringon the ring finger, or fourth fingerof the left hand, is derived from theancient Egyptians. This is due totheir belief that the vein thatextends from this particular fingerto the heart is also the 'vein of love'.

No article on diamonds can becomplete without mentioning theKoh-i-Noor diamond, the history ofwhich is known to every Indian.Many attempts to bring it back toIndia from Britain have been madebut met no success. It is highlyunlikely that Queen Elizabeth II willpart with it. Nevertheless mostIndian tourists who visit the UK seeit in the Tower of London, where itis displayed along with other crownjewels.


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The Truth

Behind Memories

ShortStory

sitting in front of me.I had my doubts with

him when he entered theroom. I felt I had seen thatface somewhere, a longtime ago. His face alsodepicted the little signs ofrecognition. When hespread his lips into a broadand crooked smile, I amsure. Sure that devil hasbeen sent for this meeting.From past 15 minutes, I amshivering like I had seen aghost. He was a ghost, aghost from the past. Thepast I wished to erase; thepast I chose to forget.

They br ing out rea l i t i e s . By Jasleen Kaur Sethi

Isit on the sofa facinghim. The hands in mylap are trembling as I

run my tongue over my drylips over and over again. Myeyes are focused on my redand black sandals which aretrying to keep my feetstable. The effort is in vain,anyone in hindsight cansee, I am shakingfrantically. The red suit I amwearing makes it too hardfor me to breathe normally.My breathing pattern ishaphazard, either becauseof the ill-fitting of the suitor because of the person

His knowing smilesnatched my breath away.He is sitting there enjoyinghimself, while I amconsidering a way for himto leave without creating ascene. And, as I feared, hedives into the ear ofRaghav, the man besidehim, who looks nervous.Anyone can confuse mewith having fits ofnervousness right now. ButI am terrified, terrified ofwhat will happen next. Howwill Raghav react? He is theone about whom I shouldbe worried about. He is the

one who sent his approvalfor the wedding.

I notice the change in hisexpressions, fromnervousness to disbeliefand then ultimately toanger and then shock. Itcan be any moment now.Any moment they would allstand up; accuse me ofbeing a girl with low moralstandards and march out ofthe house. My family wouldstand against theiraccusation but won't realisethat the fault lies with me.

I wish I could haveHermione’s time turner to

I still remember that day veryvividly. It was Saturday, I had anoff and she took a voluntary offbecause “she was not feeling up

to it.” I was just lying downcasually in my room when she

popped in. “Sana, do youmind if I host a party tonight at

our place?”

change the events of thathorrid night.

It was the second monthof my job in Delhi. I hadmoved from my hometownto stay in a sharedaccommodation in themiddle of the new city. Myflatmate, Vedika, was aDelhiite but she wanted tomove out of the home andlive on her own. Ourpersonalities were polesapart. I was the reservedteetotaler, and stayedaway from the danger typewhereas she was theoutgoing, party animal andimprudent. We didn'tinteract much but we werenot hostile to each othereither.

Istill remember that dayvery vividly. It was

Saturday, I had an off andshe took a voluntary offbecause “she was notfeeling up to it.” I was justlying down casually in myroom when she popped in.

“Sana, do you mind if Ihost a party tonight at ourplace?”

For additionalinformation, I would like tosay that her idea of theparty included lots ofdrinks, loud music, gettingsweaty and climbing ontoother's people’s backs. Iwas frightened, to say theleast; but, I was also one ofthose persons who found itdifficult to refuse someone.Though I hesitated a lot, Iagreed. I thought I couldstay in my roomthroughout the evening ormaybe go for a stroll in themarket. Oh, how wrong Iwas!

The evening broughtwith it a swarm of people. Iwas stuck in my room andhad no plan of going out.When suddenly after anhour into the party, I heard

a knock on my door. I wasvery reluctant but I openedit nonetheless. There stoodVedika in a little silver dresswhich barely covered herhips with her lips painted ina hot pink lipstick. Thedress fitted her like thesecond skin. She wasstinking of booze and Iconsciously stepped back.

“What?”“Why are you inside and

why are you not dressedup?”

“I am not coming to theparty.”

“Are you insane?”“You wanted the party,

so you have it. Don't makeme a part of this.”

“You should letyourselves loosesometimes. I am notmoving an inch from hereunless you get changed andcome outside.”

“I am not going toattend your party.”

“Why not?”“Because I am not

comfortable.”“Listen, honey, this is

Delhi. If you want to livehere, you have to have asocial circle and a socialcircle only forms when youmove around in parties.Especially, you don’t missthe one being held in yourflat.”

“I can survive withoutparties.”

“No, you cannot. Nowcome on, let’s get youdressed.”

She, along with twoother girls, pushed theirway into my room andlocked it up.

“See, guys, I am reallynot going. So, you can quittrying.”

After throwing out thecontents of my wholewardrobe on my bed, theybrought me a dress fromVedika’s cupboard. Let me

tell you, it is very difficult tostay upright in front of thegirls who have churned outyour brain in the last half anhour. They dolled me upand threw a ridiculous kneelength dress on me. I surelywasn’t going out wearingthe type of dress they werewearing.

They took me along tothe lobby where almost 30people were jumping andshouting like crazy. Somewere making out on thesofa, others drinking andyet others grinding against

each other. I was anoutsider and felt the sameway. She invited all theeyes on me whileintroduction. That was waymore attention than I hadever got.

Soon, everyone was bymy side; asking me aboutmy career, job, hometownand all sorts of questions. Iwould be lying if I say that Ididn’t enjoy someattention. However, atthese parties, attention isnot synonymous withpositive aspects. I starteddisliking how some people

were shooting me lustyglances and their fakenauseating laughter.Within one hour, I wasready to sneak back intomy room. Alas, that wasnot in my destiny.

Vedika brought mesome lemon-greencoloured drink.

“I do not drink alcohol.”“It is a soft drink.”I was not that stupid to

buy that lie, but anargument with a drunkenVedika was out of thequestion. I just nodded andkept the drink at a sidetable. It was then that thisguy sitting right now acrossme made his entrance. Forme, he was just anotherguy in the party; samealcohol habits, sans kissingand erotic dancing. As theparty began to be moreintense, my level ofuneasiness rose.

When everyone wasbusy in each other,

especially Vedika, I tried tolock myself again in myroom. The room was lockedfrom inside, I tried to kickthe door and twist theknob, but to no avail.Suddenly, the voices frominside the room wereenough to draw me awayfrom it. I decided to opt fora place where no one couldeasily spot me. But no suchplace was there. Just a fewmoments after I had settleddown, Vedika’s friendsapproached me again. Thistime holding multipledrinks in their hand. I toldthem no, quite a few times,but they paid no heed tome.

“One drink wouldn’taffect you.”

“There is nothing wrongwith having a taste.”

“Come on, what are youscared of?”

After th row ing outthe contents o f mywho le wardrobe onmy bed, theybrought me a dressf rom Ved ika ’ scupboard . Let mete l l you , i t i s ve ryd i f f i cu l t to s tayupr i ght in f ront o fthe g i r l s who havechurned out yourbra in in the las tha l f an hour . Theydo l led me up andthrew a r id icu lousknee length dresson me.


“You should tryeverything in this life.”

Though I kept saying no,somewhere in my mind Iwas actually thinking abouthaving a sip. All I thought atthat moment was, “I havealways wanted to knowwhat it tastes like. Most ofmy friends drink and evensome ladies back home.Having it once won’t makeme an alcoholic. No onewould even know. Thesepeople right over herewon’t even see me again.Also, who wouldremember?”

That was the thoughtthat I wish to change

now. I want to go back,pause that moment, andchange the direction of myhand which eventuallyreached for the drink.

The next morning,memories of that nightwere hazy. I was only ableto recall a few momentsand they were so scaryenough I left that flat thatvery morning. I wasn’tgoing to stay anymore withVedika. For almost a week,I cried because of what hashappened. I rememberedhaving too many drinks,dancing like a lunatic; astrange, muscular bodyglued with me,inappropriate touching; hishands touching the curvesof my body and the mostsinister memory: someforeign lips landing on mybare neck. That memorystill gives me shivers.

Undoubtedly, if this guysitting in front of me wasthere, he knows whathappened and he has toldRaghav. This was thesecond guy I was seeing asa prospect for marriage.The first one and his familywere too conservative toeven think about me having

a career after the wedding.So, one can easilyunderstand my fearsregarding this one.

Now that Raghavknows, I am sure that thefurther discussion is offlimits and he and his familywill stand up and leave anyminute now. He leansagainst his mother and shenods. Well, here it goes.

“Raghav wants to talk toher alone, only if youpermit.”

What? Oh, thankgoodness, I can handle thisalone. I am thankful that he

is not dragging our familiesinto this. Let's get this overwith. It is what it is now.

“Arrey, why would wehave a problem? TakeRaghav to the terrace, Sanabeta.”

We both stood up and Ilead the way to the terrace.The journey along thecorridors, on the steps andtill the door is eerily quiet.Then he finally breaks thesilence.

“Do you rememberKashish, that guy fromdownstairs?”

I just nod avoiding hisgaze.

“He is my childhood bestfriend. That is why hetagged along today; he islike my elder brother.”

I nod again.“So…,” he clears his

throat, “he tells me about aparty that happened longago.”

I keep fidgeting with mydupatta while he settles onone of two chairs placedthere. He remains silent forsome moments. I believehe is deliberating what tosay next – i.e. how to refuseme as a prospect.

“Is it…is it true?”I exhale a deep sigh and

nod again. Why should Ireply in my croaky voicewhen my body is giving allthe answers?

“And… if something likethat happens again, wouldyou react in the samemanner?”

What does he mean?That, if given anopportunity, would I stillchoose alcohol to numb mysenses? No. Would I allowany random guy to touchme inappropriately? No.No. No. What is he exactlyasking? I raise my eyes tohis face and gather up thecourage to speak.

“See, I really appreciatethat you didn’t bring this upin front of our families. I willbe honest with you. I…I donot remember whathappened that night. I canonly recall some bits. So,you would have to explainwhat you are actuallyasking about. But, I assureyou that nothing like thatnight has ever happenedagain.

I even left that flat afterthat party. I do not allowalcohol to take over mymind now. I do not evendrink.”

He looks puzzled andthen he grins.

“So, you don’t exactlyknow what happened laterthat night?”

I shake my head indisappointment. “Yes, I wasso drunk that I can't recallanything much. You find itfunny?”

“Well, here is whatKashish told me. That nightat the party, you were theonly one who looked timidand helpless. However, allof that changed whensomeone forced you todrink. Once you had toomany drinks, naturally, youlet yourself loose androcked the dance floor,” hechuckles. “These are theexact words of Kashish.”

This is embarrassing.Why is he laughing? Do Ilook like a joke to him?

“Next, a few guys triedto dance with you but youpushed them off. Theyapproached you again andagain until one guy startedmisbehaving with you. Andthen…”

Ido not want to hear whatis next, but somehow I

should know whathappened that day. “Andthen?”

“If I am to quoteKashish, ‘she punched himtill he got a bloody noseand kicked his balls.’ Andsoon, the party mood wasover and everyone,shocked with the suddenturn of events, wenthome.”

“Except for that guy, ofcourse, he had to go to adoctor. He said somethingabout a girl crying…one ofhis friends…”

I am not listening to hisfurther rambling. “I didwhat?”

He stops mid-sentence.“You broke his nose andmade him limp.”

“Did I?”

What does hemean? That , i fg i ven anoppor tun i ty , wou ldI s t i l l choosea lcoho l to numb mysenses? No. Wou ldI a l l ow any randomguy to touch meinappropr ia te l y?No. No. No. Whati s he exact l yask ing? I ra i se myeyes to h i s faceand gather up thecourage to speak .


“Well, that is what I havecome to know.”

Seriously? Out of all theterrifying scenarios I hadimagined, this is whatexactly happened? Did Ipunch him? Kicked him?Where did I get the guts todo that all? Was it reallyme? Why didn't Vedika tellme? Damn, I ignored all hercalls. I would have known ifI had picked her call. So,nothing happened?

“Is it really true?”“I can call Kashish over

here to confirm.”“No, no. Not right now.

My parents may getsuspicious.” I try to wraparound my head about thisidea of me doing all thosethings. I am usually not likethat. However, alcohol isknown to bring a differentside up front.

“Ahem! This is why Iasked if any other guymisbehaves with you again,will you once more showthe same ferocity?”

Well. “If the drunk medid that, a sober me woulddefinitely do better.”Somehow, I can’t helpfeeling proud this moment.I punched and kicked a guy!Woohoo! Why didn’t I knowthis before? This is so nice.Nothing at all happened.Wow!

His smile widens, “Thatis all I needed to know. It isa yes from me.”

“What?”“I will be more than

happy to marry a girl whoknows how to take care ofherself. Some guys shouldbe shown their true place, Iam glad you reacted thatway. Not many girls havethe guts to stand up againstsuch guys. I already likedyou when my mother toldme all about you and yourfamily. However, now Ihave a new and a betterreason to say yes to thispotential relationship.”

I stand staring at himand grasping his wordsslowly.

“Are you not upset that Iallowed alcohol to takeover my brain?”

“No, I am not againstoccasional drinking.Moreover, you did tell meyou do not drink now. Ithink I can take your wordfor that.” Is he… is he reallysaying yes?

He stands up from thechair, comes closer andasks, “Sana, are youinterested in knowing mebetter?

Do you… do you want tomeet again? Think abouthaving a future togethermaybe?”

A broad, but hesitant,smile covers my face.“Definitely.”

“I will be more thanhappy to marry a girlwho knows how totake care of herself.Some guys should beshown their trueplace, I am glad youreacted that way.”

We


He stands up from the chair,comes closer and asks,

“Sana, are you interested inknowing me better? Do

you… do you want to meetagain? Think about having a

future together maybe?”

managed the good menu, catering,DJ for us.

Half the preparation was donedue to the help of my collegue buthalf of the preparations in whichwe have to arrange thephotographer, inviting guests,arrangement of the programmes(Jaimala, cake cutting) and theshopping were still remaining andit was just 15 days left for ourparents’ marriage anniversary.

In first week we looked for agood photographer as it was themain requirement for the grandevening so that those momentscould be preserved and can becherished later.

Finally somehow we managedto arrange a good photographer.Now it was the turn to invite theguests. I had made al list ofinvitees so as to make sure whoneeded to invite.

Moreover, to invite the guestsan invitation was required as wewant to invite them in style. Aninvitation was elegantly designedby my sister and we quickly sentthat to everyone from ourrelatives to family and friends andwe had even personally calledthem and explained that we needto keep his confidential as we areactually surprising our parents.

Although, it was really tough tocarry out everything in secretivemanner as many times mom wassuspicious but somehow wemanaged to do so.

Now only five days were leftand we were quicly doingeverything step by step. Now itwas the time to select a beautifulJaimala so that we could makethem remember their wedding daywhen they were tied in the maritalbliss and started their journey ashusband and wife.

After selecting the Jaimala,mom and dad’s favourite cake wasbooked for the cake cuttingceremony at the day of marriageanniversary celebration.

Till this time we were soexhausted but our excitementlevel had never made us felt so.Rest shooping part was also

carried by us so speedily.Everything was done within thefixed budget which we set earlierwas even the more interesting factfor us.

Now finally 27th February, theday of our parent’s marriageanniversary came. My cousin wasgiven the responsibility to makemom and dad available at thevenue after dressing them up shecarried out her responsibility andmom and dad reached at thevenue.

At first they were not able tobelieve but after few minutes theygot to realise that it is theirchildren who have plannedsurprise for them. Our parentswere so happy and their happinesshad made us feel like all our hardwork had now paid off.

The smile on our parent’s faceswas an unforgettable moment forme whom I cannot forget in myentire life. That was the momentwhich had been captured in mymemory and can never be erased.

Well, the entire event was soamazing; everyone from relativesto family members and friendsenjoyed it to the fullest.

– Swati Gupta, Faridabad


The Precious SmileIt was the month of January

and I suddenly realised that in thnext month it’s our parent’smarriage anniversary and it wasnot like every years anniversary. Itwas the 25th marriage anniversary.

Wohooo!! We all just wonderedit is actually the silver jubilee andthat our parents have crossed aquarter of their life together.

So, we all three siblings afterdiscussing with each other haddecided to make their 25thmarriage anniversary a grand andspecial event.

We decided to surprise themwith a lavish and grandcelebration. As we have no suchpast experience of organising anevent, we had no idea what to doand how to do everything.

We were worried that how wecan manage everything on ourown. I took the initiative and set abudget in which we have toorganise everything, after that wedecided to celebrate theanniversary at some banquet orthe farmhouse.

Meanwhile, in the lunch time Iwas discussing about this matterwith my colleague in the office. Sothe person who himself was theevent organiser had so quicklyagreed to cooperate with me inthis regard.

We started searching out forthe venue, my colleague gave me anumber of venue options andfinally we selected one by keepingthe location, parking andeverything else in mind.

Moreover, he also made it soaffordable for us because of hisgood contacts with them. Alongwith venue bookings, he also

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I have been taken for a royal rideby none other than my own cousin.Someone I have spent my vacationswith, one who was closer to me thanmy real sister, one who grew uplistening to my latest gossip andendless sob stories. I was morepainful because it was sounexpected. It was her brother’swedding, and we had plannedmatching lehengas and chania-cholis.The house was full of relatives. I wason the seventh heaven because myfiance was coming-an NRI from

Canada, he was catch in every senseof the term, and everyone wasjealous of me, including my cousinVatsala, who kept saying it was herdream to go to Canada. So how wasit that I was marring him and norshe? I always took it as light-heartedribbing and never spared a thoughtto it. Till it was this fateful day whenNitesh, my fiance, was scheduled toarrive. I was no excited! Both me andmy cousin got dressed up to go tothe airport together-she was a goodsport as always and insisted oncoming along with me. On the waywe stopped to collect a bouquet ofred roses for him. There was a longline at the counter, and I stood therefor paying the bill while shesauntered around. As I came out Icould not see either Vatsala or ourcar. My phone calls were not beinganswered by her. I was so paranoid.Delhi being such an unsafe place, myfirst thought was kidnapping or car-jacking, so I called home, but couldnot connect. A sense or terrorprevailed upon me. I took a cab andrushed home, which in peak evening

traffic took me about an hour, andwho should I see sitting theregetting all pally with Nitesh? Mycousin Vatsala, who left me at theflorist to reach the airport in time toreceive him. Clearly, Nitesh wasenamoured by this feisty youngthing who knew no restrain. Thewedding day dawned, both Vastalaand I dressed in identical nine kilolehangas. I could see that people had eyes only for her. But she hadbeen my little sister always, and heretoo I could see no design in herways. Nitesh left after the weddingand to my irritation, I found himinteracting pretty frequently withmy pretty cousin. When I objected toit I was told not to be paranoid, as‘jeeja-sali me mazak’ is a given. Butwhen it crossed the limits of mytolerance, I gave Nitesh anultimatum. He said he wasdisappointed in me for being sonarrow-minded, as opposed to mycousin who was like a breath of freshair. The ‘breath of fresh air’ won, andI felt cheated, jilted, duped.

– Seema Sinha

How my cousin wed you husband

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WOMAN'S ERA

The prize is awarded to:A. Raghavendra Rao

A captivatingarticle by Dr. SanjayTeotia. The writerhas dealt with allpertinent points inthe essay about loveand relationship. He

briefly reveals that thepsychologists identified clear signsthat one might be falling in love. Iwould say, many times, it is'infatuation' but not love. Atyoung age, young get attracted toeach other. The love culminatesinto marriage. When theattraction dwindles naturally thelove which bloomed ab initio takesa backseat subsequently. Toomuch of intimacy bringscontempt. Further, the sex afterbegetting children abates. Thereasons may be: timelessness,postnatal health issues and more

attention to children .The servingattitude of a wife slowly vanishesand often suggestions are heardare heard to do them themselves.

The writer also dealt withmatter of fact sex after a fewyears. Sex is the only conduit pipeto keep up the love. A frigid wifedoes not deserve love and awayward husband does notdeserve love. This situation leadsto loose talk by both the husbandand wife on themselves. Thisfurther gives rise to haterelationships. So, both wife andhusband should sit together sortout the failing relationship andexplore avenues to bring backlove, affection and smoothness inlove. This is all the more importantto sustain the healthy relationshipand to happily live throughout.

Thanks to the writer andwoman's era in this regard.

– A. RAGHAVENDRA RAO,Telangana

Love is an intense feeling of

deep affection, in other

words, love is what one feels,

Love should be seen not as a feeling

but as an enacted emotion. To love

is to feel and act lovingly. People

who are in love generally feel a

powerful sense of empathy toward

their beloved, feeling the other

person's pain as their own and

being willing to sacrifice anything

for the other person. Love means to

be deeply committed and

connected to someone or

something. The basic meaning of

love is to feel more than liking

someone. It is a bond that two

people share. There are a few things

you need to avoid when building a

new relationship like being too

demanding. According to

psychology, if you find yourself

abandoning usual activities or

feeling unusually optimistic, you

might be falling in love.

Falling in love is one of the

strangest and most wonderful

things a human being can

Scarcity of love in

married life.

By Dr. Sanjay Teotia

Loveis not

Enough

experience. And while it's different

for everyone, there are some

common thoughts and feelings that

can help people identify when it's

happening. You might be

experiencing one of the obvious

indicators like not being able to

think about anyone or anything else

The article on' M E D I T A T I O N 'March issue, is a thehour. With thepandemic andpeople forced tostay indoors, thereseems to be asteep increase inmental instability

among individuals. Loss of job,with no means to earn, promptedmany to commit suicide. Importanceis given to physical exercising sinceschool days but not much attentionis paid to the fitness of the mind.Meditation is a 'wonderful' exerciseto the mind & it’s equally importantto keep it healthy.

The Myths published in WE ,is sure

to create awareness among thereaders on how to maintain peace &harmony of the mind ,therebyimproving general health- digestion,blood flow, functioning of the senseorgans ,thinking capacity ,indirectlyboosting ones' own self-esteem &self- confidence, channelizing thepath for a man’s' dreams come true.

– Preetha Rengaswamy

Appropos the article" E - - W a s t eManagement in Indiaby Aditi Maheshwariin WE--Feb'21 on thechallenges faced indisposal of E-Waste, it isimportant that alls t a k e h o l d e r s

involve for its effectiveimplementation. However, when themarket of electronic gadgets has beenrising and newer gadgets upgradedwith latest technology flooding themarket at a faster pace, the disposalof older gadgets containinghazardous substances has been

posing a new challenge and concernto the user as well to government.Careless disposal by dumping usedgadgets in the open environment orby burying in the earth withoutsegregating and removing hazardoussubstances is bound to contaminatesoil and water and also bound tospread around which can be apotential source of causing e-pollutionconsequently posing danger to bothhumans and animals living around. Infact, poor management of hazardoussubstances is primarily due to laxenforcement of solid wastemanagenent rules. Further lack ofawareness among people is thereason for dumping them at no man'sland, open places, street corners andalso disposing them along withgeneral waste in the dumpstercausing irreparable and harmfulaffects to the environment. Even asrag pickers survey the heap of mixedwaste at the dump yard to removemetal from e-waste withoutprotective gears are exposed to allsorts of risks in the absence of clear-cut rules on segregation of e- wasteis disturbing, it is unfortunate that nofacility is established for treatmentand recycling of e-waste so farthrowing a big challenge togovernment to plan for its effectivedisposal. – R. Srinivasan

‘MEDITATION’"E--WASTE MANAGEMENT IN

INDIA”

“LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH BY DR.SANJAY TEOTIA”

Meditation is a solution to

cope with all the daily

problems. Be it a toxic

working environment or a constant

quarrel, mostly we are

recommended to practice

meditation. No matter what, the

yoga experts’ videos and tips and

tricks are all over the internet

indicating it as a great stress-buster

and anxiety resolution.

The sudden outbreak of a deadly

pandemic Coronavirus has given us

more reason to make it a habit of

meditation. Unfortunately, due to

our working from home hectic and

strenuous days in the present

scenario, it is quite difficult to

follow the meditative procedure as

it requires a lot of time.

But if one tries to take out some

minutes to allow them to breathe in

mind, they can change the brain

waves in another direction. This

direction generally leads to the end

of the positivity making you filled

with optimism and enthusiasm.

When a day starts with

meditation, your mind

automatically makes a plan,

organize the whole day, and

provides a sense of

accomplishment of goals per day.

Interestingly, a report suggested

that in the coming years, the world

witness a growing population of

meditation. It has been estimated

that 200–500 million people

meditate worldwide.

In the past years, the practice

has suddenly gained importance

and immense popularity. Taking

into the health benefits’

consideration, it’s no surprise that a

large number of people use it.

90

Woman’s Era ● March 2021

Meditation5 myths to bust regarding peaceful act of attaining

higher-self esteem. By Disha Sharma

2

Woman’s Era ● January 2021

2

Challenges of E-Waste. BY Aditi Maheshwari

In today’s technology consumed

world, e-waste is a concept that

people need to be more aware

of. E-waste is an umbrella term used

to describe discarded electronic

devices whether its laptops, air-

conditioners, refrigerators, mobiles,

televisions, computers, VCRs,

stereos, copiers, fax machines or

any other digital device or electronic

equipment. We have many shows

discussing the pros and cons of the

latest gadgets being introduced, we

have a comparison of the old with

new electronic devices; yet there is

scarcity of knowledge among the

layman, when it comes to the

concept of e-waste.

E-waste commonly assumed as

digital rubbish is not because the

equipment’s stopped performing

and therefore are being discarded,

the technological advancements are

leading people to change devices

simply because of upgradation in

technology leading the precursors

to be rendered outdated. For

example: the concept of “smart

homes” is encouraging choices

where people are vowed to more

comfortable living by use of

advanced technology which

provides many services just by the

click of a tab; like the security of the

house is in-tacked, switching lights,

air-conditioners, etc. and such other

luring offers, but has anyone

considered the after effects of

excessive dependency on

digitalization and obsession with

upgradation of technology in daily

activities. The rapid ascension of e-waste is

a global concern. Most electronics

contain high quantity of lead,

mercury, cadmium, barium and

bromine, etc. which are toxic to the

environment when buried; as

leaching process damages the soil,

the ground water and thus the

nearby fresh water bodies are

infected too. The result is

contamination of crops, livestock

and wildlife of the surrounding area.

E-WasteManagement in India

Date post:	30-Jan-2023
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