MyWifeandI

By

HarrietBeecherStowe

CHAPTERI.

THEAUTHORDEFINESHISPOSITION.

It appears tome that theworld is returning to its second childhood, andrunningmadforStories.Stories!Stories!Stories!everywhere;storiesineverypaper,ineverycrevice,crackandcornerofthehouse.Storiesfallfromthepenfaster than leaves of autumn, and of asmany shades and colorings. Storiesblowover here inwhirlwinds fromEngland. Stories are translated from theFrench, from the Danish, from the Swedish, from the German, from theRussian.ThereareserialstoriesforadultsintheAtlantic,intheOverland,inthe Galaxy, in Harper's, in Scribner's. There are serial stories for youthfulpilgrimsinOurYoungFolks,theLittleCorporal,"OliverOptic,"theYouth'sCompanion,andverysoonweanticipatenewspaperswithserialstoriesforthenursery.Weshallhavethosecharminglyillustratedmagazines,theCradle,theRockingChair, theFirstRattle,andtheFirstTooth,withsuccessivechaptersof "GoosyGoosyGander," and "HickoryDickoryDock," and "OldMotherHubbard,"extendingthroughtwelve,ortwenty-four,orforty-eightnumbers.

IhaveoftenquestionedwhatSolomonwouldhavesaidifhehadlivedinourday.Thepoorman,itappears,wassomewhatblaséwiththeabundanceofliterature in his times, and remarked that much study was weariness to theflesh.Then,printingwasnotinvented,and"books"wereallcopiedbyhand,inthoseverysquareHebrewletterswhereeachletterisaboutascarefulabitof work as a grave-stone. And yet, even with all these restrictions andcircumscriptions, Solomon rather testily remarked, "Ofmakingmany booksthere is no end!" What would he have said had he looked over a modernpublisher'scatalogue?

Itisunderstoodnowthatnopaperiscompletewithoutitsserialstory,andthe spinning of these stories keeps thousands of wheels and spindles inmotion.Itisnowunderstoodthatwhoeverwishestogainthepublicear,andtopropoundanewtheory,mustdoitinaserialstory.Hathanyoneinourday,asin St. Paul's, a psalm, a doctrine, a tongue, a revelation, an interpretation—forthwithhewrapsitupinaserialstory,andpresentsittothepublic.Wehaveprisondiscipline,free-trade,laborandcapital,woman'srights,thetemperancequestion, in serial stories. We have Romanism and Protestantism, HighChurch,andLowChurchandnoChurch,contendingwitheachotherinserialstories, where each side converts the other, according to the faith of thenarrator.

We see that this thing is to go on. Soon it will be necessary that everyleading clergyman should embody in his theology a serial story, to be

delivered from the pulpit Sunday after Sunday. We look forward toannouncementsinourcitypaperssuchasthese:TheRev.Dr.Ignatius,oftheChurchofSt.MarytheVirgin,willbeginaserialromance,tobeentitled"St.SebastianandtheArrows,"inwhichhewillembodytheduties,thetrials,andthetemptationsoftheyoungChristiansofourday.TheRev.Dr.Boanerges,ofPlymouthRockChurch,willbeginaserialstory,entitled"Calvin'sDaughter,"inwhich hewill discuss the distinctive features of Protestant theology. TheRev.Dr.CoolShadowwillgoonwithhisinterestingromanceof"ChristianityaDissolvingView,"—designedtoshowhoweverythingis,inmanyrespects,likeeverythingelse,andallthingsleadsomewhere,andeverythingwillfinallyend somehow, and that therefore it is important that everybody shouldcultivategeneralsweetness,andhavetheverybesttimepossibleinthisworld.

By the time all these romances get to going, the system of teaching byparables, andopeningone'smouth in dark sayings,will be fully elaborated.Pilgrim'sProgresswillbenowhere.Theway to thecelestial citywillbeasplain in everybody's mind as the way up Broadway—and so much moreinteresting! Finally all science and all artwill be explained, conducted, anddirectedbyserial stories, till thepresent lifeand the life tocomeshall formonlyonegrandromance.ThiswillbeaboutthetimeoftheMillennium.

Meanwhile, Ihavebeenfurnishingastoryfor theChristianUnion,andIchosethesubjectwhichisineverybody'smindandmouth,discussedoneveryplatform,ringingfromeverybody'stongue,andcominghometoeveryman'sbusinessandbosom,towit:

MyWifeandI.

ItrustthatMissAnthonyandMrs.Stanton,andalltheprophetessesofourday,willremarkthehumilityandproprietyofmytitle.ItisnotIandMyWife—ohno!ItisMyWifeandI.WhatamI,andwhatismyfather'shouse,thatIshouldgobeforemywifeinanything?

"ButwhyspeciallyfortheChristianUnion?"saysMr.Chadband.LetusinaspiritofLoveinquire.

Is itnotevidentwhy,Obeloved?Isnot thatfirminhumannaturewhichstandsunderthetitleofMyWifeandI,theoldestandmostvenerableformofChristianuniononrecord?Where,Iask,willyoufindabetterone?—awiser,astronger,asweeter,amoreuniversallypopularandagreeableone?

To be sure, there have been times and seasons when this ancient andrespectable firm has been attacked as a piece of old fogyism, and varioussubstitutes for it proposed. It has been said that "MyWife and I" denoted aselfish, close corporation inconsistent with a general, all-sided diffusive,universalbenevolence;thatMyWifeandI,inamillennialcommunity,hadno

particularrightsineachothermorethananyofthethousandsofthebrethrenandsistersofthehumanrace.Theyhavesaid,too,thatMyWifeandI,insteadofanindissolubleunity,wereonlytemporarypartners,engagedontime,withthelibertyofgivingthreemonths'notice,andstartingofftoanewfirm.

Itisnotthusthatweunderstandthematter.

MyWifeandI,asweunderstandit, is thesignandsymbolofmorethanany earthly partnership or union—of something sacred as religion,indissolubleasthesoul,endlessaseternity—thesymbolchosenbyAlmightyLovetorepresenthisredeeming,eternalunionwiththesoulofman.

A fountain of eternal youth gushes near the hearth of every household.Eachmanandwomanthathavelovedtruly,havehadtheirromanceinlife—theirpoetryinexistence.

SoI,ingivingmyhistory,disclaimallothersourcesofinterest.Looknotfor trap-doors, or haunted houses, or deadly conspiracies, or murders, orconcealed crimes, in this history, for youwill not find one. You shall havesimplyandonlytheoldstory—oldasthefirstchapterofGenesis—ofAdamstupid,desolate,andlonelywithoutEve,andhowhesoughtandhowhefoundher.

This much, on mature consideration I hold to be about the sum andsubstanceofalltheromancesthathaveeverbeenwritten,andsolongastherearenewAdamsandnewEvesineachcominggeneration,itwillnotwantforsympatheticlisteners.

So I,HarryHenderson—aplainYankeeboy from themountainsofNewHampshire,andatpresentcitizenofNewYork—commencemystory.

Myexperienceshavethreestages.

First,Mychild-wife,ortheexperiencesofchildhood.

Second,Myshadow-wife,orthedreamlandofthefuture.

Third,myrealwife,whereIsawher,howIsoughtandfoundher.

Inpursuingastorysimplyandmainlyofloveandmarriage,Iamremindedof the saying of a respectable serving man of European experiences, whospeakingofhispositioninanoblefamilysaiditwasnotsomuchthewagesthatmadeitanobjectas"thethingsitenabledagentlemantopickup."Soinourmoderndaysaswehavebeenobserving,itisnotsomuchthestory,asthethings it gives the author a chance to say.Thehistoryof ayoungAmericanman's progress toward matrimony, of course brings him among the moststirring and exciting topics of the day, where all that relates to the jointinterests of man and woman has been thrown into the arena as an openquestion,andinrelatingourownexperiences,weshalltakeoccasiontokeep

upwiththespiritofthisdiscussingageinallthesematters.

"The big boys quizzedme,made hideous faces atme from behind theirspelling-books,andgreathulkingTomHalliday threwaspit-ball that lodgedonthewalljustovermyhead,bywayofshowinghiscontemptforme;butIlookedatSusie,andtookcourage."

CHAPTERII.

MYCHILD-WIFE.

TheBiblesaysitisnotgoodformantobealone.Thisisatruththathasbeen borne in on my mind, with peculiar force, from the earliest of myrecollection.InfactwhenIwasonlysevenyearsoldIhadselectedmywife,andaskedthepaternalconsent.

Yousee,Iwasanunusuallylonesomelittlefellow,becauseIbelongedtothe number of those unlucky waifs who come into this mortal life undercircumstances when nobody wants or expects them. My father was a poorcountry minister in the mountains of New Hampshire with a salary of sixhundreddollars,withninechildren. Iwas the tenth. Iwasnotexpected;myimmediate predecessor was five years of age, and the gossips of theneighborhoodhadalreadypresentedcongratulationstomymotheronhaving"doneupherworkintheforenoon,"andbeingreadytositdowntoafternoonleisure.

Herwell-wornbabyclotheswereallgivenaway,thecradlewaspeaceablyconsignedtothegarret,andmymotherwasnowregardedaswithoutexcuseifshe did not preside at the weekly prayer-meeting, the monthly MaternalAssociation,andtheMissionarymeeting,andperformbesidesregularpastoralvisitationsamongthegoodwivesofherparish.

No one, of course, ever thought of voting her any little extra salary onaccount of these public duties which absorbed so much time and attentionfromherperplexingdomesticcares—renderedstillmoresevereandonerousbymy father's limited salary.My father's sixhundreddollars, however,wasconsideredby the farmersof thevicinity asbeing aprincely income,whichaccounted satisfactorily for everything, and had he not been considered bythemas"aboutthesmartestmanintheState,"theycouldnothavegoneuptosuch a figure.Mymother was one of those gentle, soft-spoken, quiet littlewomenwho,likeoil,permeateeverycrackandjointoflifewithsmoothness.

With a noiseless step, an almost shadowymovement, her hand and eyewere every where. Her house was a miracle of neatness and order—her

childrenofallagesandsizesunderherperfectcontrol,andtheaccumulationsof labor of all descriptions which beset a great family where there are noservants,allmeltedawayunderherhandsasifbyenchantment.

She had a divine magic too, that mother of mine; if it be magic tocommunedailywiththesupernatural.Shehadalittleroomallherown,whereon a stand always lay open the great familyBible, andwhenwork pressedhardandchildrenwereuntoward,whensicknessthreatened,whentheskeinsof life were all crossways and tangled, she went quietly to that room, andkneeling over that Bible, took hold of awarm, healing, invisible hand, thatmadethecrookedstraight,andtheroughplacesplain.

"PoorMrs.Henderson—another boy!" said the gossips on the day that Iwasborn."Whatashame!poorwoman.Well,Iwishherjoy!"

ButshetookmetoawarmbosomandbadeGodblessme!All thatGodsent toherwas treasure. "Whoknows," she saidcheerily tomy father, "thismaybeourbrightest."

"Godblesshim,"saidmyfather,kissingmeandmymother,and thenhereturned to an important treatisewhichwas to reconcile the decrees ofGodwith the free agency ofman, andwhich the event ofmy entrance into thisworldhadinterruptedforsomehours.ThesermonwasaperfectsuccessIamtold, and nobody that heard it ever had a moment's further trouble on thatsubject.

Astome,myoutfitforthisworldwasofthescantest-afewyellowflannelpetticoatsandafewslipsrunupfromsomeofmyoldersisterscastoffwhitegowns,weredeemedsufficient.

Thefirstchildinafamilyisitspoem—itisasortofnativityplay,andwebend before the young stranger, with gifts, "gold, frankincense andmyrrh."But the tenthchild inapoorfamily isprose,andgetssimplywhat isdue tocomfort.Therearenosuperfluities,nofripperies,noidealitiesaboutthetenthcradle.

AsIgrewupIfoundmyselfratherasolitarylittlefellowinagreathouse,fullofthebustleandnoiseandconflictingclaimsofolderbrothersandsisters,whohadgot thefloor in thestageof lifebeforeme,andwhoweretoobusywiththeirownwants,schemesandplans,toregardme.

IwasallverywellsolongasIkeptwithinthelimitsofbabyhood.Theysaid Iwas thehandsomestbabyeverpertaining to the family establishment,andaslongasthatqualityandconditionlastedIwasmadeapetof.Mysisterscurledmy golden locks andmademe wonderful little frocks, and tookmeabouttoshowme.ButwhenIgrewbigger,andthegoldenlockswereshearedoff and replaced by straight light hair, and I was inducted into jacket and

pantaloons,cutdownbyMissAbiaFerkinfrommynextbrother'slastyear'ssuit, outgrown—then I was turned upon the world to shift for myself.Babyhoodwas over, andmanhood not begun—Iwas to run the gauntlet ofboyhood.

Mybrothersandsisterswereaffectionateenoughintheirway,buthadnottheleastsentiment,andasIsaidbeforetheyhadeachonetheirownconcernstolookafter.Myeldestbrotherwasincollege,mynextbrotherwasfittingforcollege in a neighboring academy, and used to walk ten miles daily to hislessonsandtakehisdinnerwithhim.Oneofmyoldersisterswasmarried,thetwonextwerehandsomelivelygirls,witharetinueofbeaux,whoofcoursetookupadealoftheirtimeandthoughts.Thesisternextbeforemewasfouryearsabovemeonthelistsoflife,andofcourselookeddownonmeasalittleboy unworthy of her society.When her two or three chattering girl friendscame toseeherand theyhad theirdollsand theirbabyhouses tomanage, Iwasalwaysintheway.Theylaughedatmyawkwardness,criticisedmynose,my hair, andmy ears tomy face,with that feminine freedombywhich thegentlersexjoytoputdownthestrongeronewhentheyhaveitatadvantage.Iusedoften to retire from their society swellingwith impotentwrath, at theirfree comments. "I won't play with you," I would exclaim. "Nobody wantsyou,"wouldbetherejoinder."We'vebeenwantingtoberidofyouthisgoodwhile."

ButasIwasastoutlittlefellow,myeldersthoughtitadvisabletodevolveonmeanysuchtasksanderrandsasinterferedwiththeircomfort.Iwassentto the store when the wind howled and the frost bit, and my brothers andsisterspreferredawarmcorner."He'sonlyaboy,hecango,orhecandoorhecanwait,"wasalwaystheawardofmysisters.

Myindividualpursuits,andmyownlittlestockofinterests,wereofcourseof no account. I was required to be in a perfectly free, disengaged state ofmind,and ready todropevery thingatamoment'swarning fromanyofmyhalfdozenseniors."HereHal,rundowncellarandgetmeadozenapples,"mybrotherwouldsay,justasIhadhalfbuiltablockhouse."Harry,runupstairsandgetthebookIleftonthebed—Harry,runouttothebarnandgettherakeIleft there—Here,Harry,carry thisupgarret—Harry, runout to the toolshopand get that"—were sounds constantly occurring—breaking up my privatecherished little enterprises of building cob-houses, making mill dams andbridges,orloadingcarriages,ordrivinghorses.WhereisthematureChristianwho could bear with patience the interruptions and crosses in his dailyschemes,thatbesetaboy?

Then therewere formediremortificationsandbitterdisappointments. Ifanycompanycameandthefamilyboardwasfilledandthecakeandpreservesbroughtout,andgayconversationmademyheartboundwithspeciallongings

tobeinatthefun,Iheardthemsay,"NoneedtosetaplateforHarry—hecanjustaswellwaittillafter."Icanrecollectmanyaseriousdeprivationofmaturelife, that did not bring such bitterness of soul as that sentence of exclusion.Then when my sister's admirer, Sam Richards, was expected, and the bestparlorfire lighted,and thehearthswept,howI longed tositupandhearhisfunnystories,howIhidindarkcorners,andlayoffinshadowyplaces,hopingto escape notice and so avoid the activity of the domestic police. But no,"Mamma, mustn't Harry go to bed?" was the busy outcry of my sisters,desiroustohavethedeckclearedforaction,andsuperfluousmembersfinallydisposedof.

Takeitforallinall—Ifeltmyself,thoughnotwantinginthesupplyofanyphysicalnecessity, tobesomehow,asIsaid,averylonesomelittlefellowintheworld.Inallthatbusy,lively,gay,bustlinghouseholdIhadnomate.

"I think wemust send Harry to school," saidmymother, gently, tomyfather,when Ihadvented this complaint inhermaternalbosom. "Poor littlefellow,heisanoddone!—thereisn'texactlyanyoneinthehouseforhimtomatewith!"

SotoschoolIwassent,withacleancheckedapron,drawnuptightinmyneck,andadinnerbasket,andabrowntowelonwhichIwastobeinstructedin the wholesome practice of sewing. I went, trembling and blushing, withmanyanapprehensionofthebigboyswhohadpromisedtothrashmewhenIcame;buttheveryfirstdayIwasmadeblessedinthevisionofmylittlechild-wife,SusieMorril.

Suchapretty,neat littlefigureasshewas!Isawherfirststandingintheschool-roomdoor.Her cheeks andneckwere likewax; her eyes clear blue;andwhenshesmiled,twolittledimplesflittedinandoutonhercheeks,likethoseinasunnybrook.Shewasdressedinapinkginghamfrock,withacleanwhite apron fitted trimly about her little round neck. She was her mother'sonlychild,andalwaysdaintilydressed.

"Oh,Susiedear,"saidmymother,whohadmebythehand,"I'vebroughtalittleboyheretoschool,andwillbeamateforyou."

How affably and graciously she receivedme—the little Eve—all smilesandobligingness and encouragement for the lumpish, awkwardAdam.Howshemademesitdownonaseatbyher,andputherlittlewhitearmcosilyovermyneck,asshelaidthespelling-bookonherknee,saying—"IreadinBaker.Wheredoyouread?"

Friend,itwasWebster'sSpelling-bookthatwastheirtext-book,andmanyofyouwillrememberwhere"Baker"isinthatliterarycareer.Thecolumnofwords thus headedwas amile-stone on the path of infant progress.Butmy

motherhadbeenadiligentinstructressathome,andIanaptscholar,andmybreast swelled as I told little Susie that I had gone beyond Baker. I saw"respectminglingwithsurprise"inhergreatvioleteyes;mysoulwasenlarged—mylittleframedilated,asturningovertothepictureofthe"oldmanwhofoundarudeboyononeofhistreesstealingapples,"IansweredherthatIhadreadthere!

"Why-ee!"saidthelittlemaiden;"onlythink,girls—hereadsinreadings!"

Iwassetupandglorifiedinmyownesteem;twoorthreegirlslookedatmewithevidentconsideration.

"Don'tyouwanttositonourside?"saidSusie,engagingly."I'llaskMissBessietoletyou, 'causeshesaidthebigboysalwaysplaguethelittleones."Andso,asshewasasmooth-tongued little favorite,shenotonly introducedmetotheteacher,butgotmecomfortablyniched,besideherdaintyselfonthehard, backless seat, where I sat swingingmy heels, and looking for all theworld like a rough little short-tailed robin, just pushed out of the nest, andsurveyingtheworldwithround,anxiouseyes.Thebigboysquizzedme,madehideousfacesatmefrombehindtheirspelling-books,andgreathulkingTomHallidaythrewaspitballthatlodgedonthewalljustovermyhead,bywayofshowing his contempt for me; but I looked at Susie, and took courage. Ithought I never saw anything so pretty as she was. I was never tired withfollowing themazesofhergoldencurls. I thoughthowdainty andnice andwhiteherpinkdressandwhiteapronwere;andsheworeapairofwonderfullittle red shoes; her tiny handswere so skillful and so busy!She turned thehemofmybrowntowel,andbasteditformesonicely,andthenshetookoutsomedelicaterufflingthatwasherschoolwork,andIadmiredherbright,fineneedleandfinethread,andthewaxenlittlefingercrownedwithalittlebrassthimble, as she sewed awaywith an industrious steadiness.Tome thebrasswasgold,andherhandswerepearl,andshewasa littlefairyprincess!—yetevery fewmoments she turned her great blue eyes on me, and smiled andnoddedherlittleheadknowingly,asmuchastobidmebeofgoodcheer,andIfeltathrillgorighttomyheart,thatbeatdelightedlyunderthecheckedapron.

"Please,ma'am,"saidSusan,glibly,"mayn'tHenrygoouttoplaywiththegirls?Thebigboysaresorough."

AndMissBessiesmiled,andsaid Imight;and Iwasablessed littleboyfromthatmoment.InthefirstrecessSusieinstructedmeinplaying"Tag,"and"Oats, peas, beans, and barley, O," and in "Threading the needle," and"Openingthegatesashighashighasthesky,toletKingGeorgeandhiscourtpassby"—inallwhichshewasaproficient,andwhereIneededagreatdealofteachingandencouraging.

Butwhenitcametomoreathleticfeats,Icoulddistinguishmyself.Idared

jumpofffromahigherfencethanshecould,andcoveredmyselfwithglorybyclimbing to the top of a five-railed gate, and jumping boldly down; andmoreover,whenacowappearedonthegreenbeforetheschool-housedoor,Imarcheduptoherwithastickandorderedheroff,withamanlystrideandadetermined voice, and chased her with the utmost vigor quite out of sight.These proceedings seemed to inspire Susie with a certain respect andconfidence.Icouldreadin"readings,"jumpofffromhighfences,andwasn'tafraidofcows!Theseweremanlyaccomplishments!

Theschool-housewasalongdistancefrommyfather's,andIusedtobringmydinner.Susiebroughthersalso,andmanyadelightfulpicnichavewehadtogether.Wemadeourselvesahouseunderagreatbutton-balltree,atwhosefootthegrasswasshortandgreen.Ourhousewasneithermorenorlessthanasquare,markedoutonthegreenturfbystonestakenfromthewall.Iglorifiedmyself inmy own eyes and inSusie's, by being able to lift stones twice asheavy as she could, and a big flat one, which nearly broke my back, wasdeposited in the centre of the square, as our table.Weused a clean pocket-handkerchieffora table-cloth;andSusiewaswont tosetoutourmealswithgreatorder,makingplatesanddishesoutofthebutton-ballleaves.Underherdirectionalso,Ifittedupourhousewithapantry,andasmallroomwhereweusedtoplaywashdishes,andsetawaywhatwasleftofourmeals.Thepantrywasastonecupboard,wherewekeptchestnutsandapples,andwhatremainedofourcookiesandgingerbread.Susiewas fondofornamentation,andstuckbouquets of golden rod and aster around in our best room, and there wereceivedcompany, andhad select society come to seeus.Susiebroughtherdolltodwellinthisestablishment,andImadeherabedroomandalittlebedofmilkweed-silktolieon.Weputhertobedandtuckedherupwhenwewentintoschool—notwithoutapprehensionthatthosesavages,thebigboys,mightvisitourEdenwithdevastation.Butthegirls'recesscamefirst,andwecouldventuretoleavehertheretakinganaptillourplay-timecame;andwhenthegirlswent in Susie rolled her nursling in a napkin and took her safely intoschool,andlaidherawayinacornerofherdesk,whilethedreadfulbigboyswerehavingtheiryellingwar-whoopandcarnivaloutside.

"Howniceit is tohaveHarrygonealldaytoschool,"Iheardoneofmysisterssayingtotheother."Heusedtobesointheway,meddlingandgettinginto everything"—"And listening to everything one says," said the other,"Childrenhavesuchhorridlyquickears.Harryalwayslistenstowhatwetalkabout."

"I think he is happier now, poor little fellow," saidmymother. "He hassomebodynowtoplaywith."Thiswasthetruthofthematter.

OnSaturdayafternoons,IusedtobegofmymothertoletmegoandseeSusie; andmy sisters, nothing loth, used to brushmyhair and put onme a

stiff, clean, checked apron, and sendme trotting off, the happiest of younglovers.

HowbrightandfairlifeseemedtomethoseSaturdayafternoons,whenthesun,throughthepicket-fences,madegolden-greenlinesontheturf—andthetreeswavedandwhispered,andIgatheredhandfulsofgolden-rodandasterstoornamentourhouse,underthebutton-woodtree!

Thenweusedtoplayinthebarntogether.Wehuntedforhens'eggs,andIdivedunderthebarntodarkplaceswhereshedarednotgo;andclimbeduptohigh places over the hay-mow,where she trembled to beholdme—bringingstoresofeggs,whichshereceivedinhercleanwhiteapron.

Thisdaintinessofoutfitexcitedmyconstantadmiration.Iworestiff,heavyjackets and checked aprons, andwas constantly, somy sisters said,wearingholesthroughmykneesandelbowsforthemtopatch;butlittleSusiealwaysappearedtomefreshandfineanduntumbled;sheneverdirtiedherhandsorsoiledherdress.Likeatruelittlewoman,sheseemedtohavenervesthroughallherclothesthatkepttheminorder.Thisnicetyofpersoninspiredmewithasecret,wonderingreverence.Howcouldshealwaysbesoclean,sotrim,andeverywaysopretty,Iwondered?Hergoldencurlsalwaysseemedfreshfromthe brush, and evenwhen she climbed and ran, andwent withme into thebarn-yard, or through the swamp and into all sorts of compromising places,shesomehowpickedherwayoutbrightandunsoiled.

ButthoughIadmiredherceaselesslyforthis,shewasnolessinadmirationof my daring strength and prowess. I felt myself a perfect Paladin in herdefense.Irememberthatthechip-yardwhichweusedtocross,onourwaytothe barn, was tyrannized over by a most loud-mouthed and arrogant oldturkey-cock,thatusedtostrutandswellandgobbleandchittergreatlytoherterror. She told me of different times when she had tried to cross the yardalone, howhe had jumped upon her and flapped hiswings, and thrown herdown,tohergreatdistressandhorror.Thefirsttimehetriedthegameonme,Imarcheduptohim,andbyadexterouspass,seizedhisredneckinmyhand,andconfininghiswingsdownwithmyarm,walkedhim ingloriouslyoutoftheyard.

HowtriumphantSusiewas,andhowIswelledandexultedtoher, tellingher what I would do to protect her under every supposable variety ofcircumstances! Susie had confessed to me of being dreadfully afraid of"bears,"andItookthisoccasiontotellherwhatIwoulddoifabearshouldactuallyattackher. Iassuredher that Iwouldget father'sgunandshoothimwithoutmercy—andshelistenedandbelieved.IalsodilatedonwhatIwoulddoifrobbersshouldgetintothehouse;Iwould,Iinformedher,immediatelygetupandpourshovelfulsofhotcoaldown theirbacks—andwouldn't they

have to run?What comfort and security this view ofmatters gave us both!What bears and robbers were, we had no very precise idea, but it was acomforttothinkhowstrongandadequatetomeettheminanyeventIwas.

Sometimes,ofaSaturdayafternoon,Susiewaspermittedtocomeandplaywithme.Ialwayswentafterher,andsolicitedthefavorhumblyatthehandsofhermother,who,aftermanywashingsanddressingsandcautionsastoherclothes, delivered her up tome,with the condition that shewas to start forhomewhen the sunwas half an hour high. Susiewas very conscientious inwatching,butformypartIneveragreedwithher.Iwasalwayssurethatthesunwas an hour high,when she set her little face dutifully homeward.Mysistersusedtopethergreatlyduringthesevisits.Theydelightedtotwinehercurlsovertheirfingers,andtrytheeffectsofdifferentarticlesofcostumeonher fair complexion. Theywould ask her, laughing, would she bemy littlewife,towhichshealwaysansweredwithagraveaffirmative.

"Earlymarriages?" saidmymother, stopping her knitting looking atme,whileasmileflashedoverherthincheeks:"what'sthechildthinkingof?"

Yes, shewas to bemywife; itwas all settled between us. Butwhen? Ididn'tseewhywemustwait tillwegrewup.ShewaslonesomewhenIwasgone,andIwaslonesomewhenshewasgone.Whynotmarryhernow,andtakeherhometolivewithme?Iaskedherandshesaidshewaswilling,butmammaneverwouldspareher.IsaidIwouldgetmymammatoaskher,andIknewshecouldn'trefuse,becausemypapawastheminister.

Iturnedthematteroverandoverinmymind,andthoughtsometimewhenIcouldfindmymotheralone,Iwouldintroducethesubject.Sooneevening,as I sat onmy little stool atmymother's knees, I thought Iwouldopen thesubject,andbegan:

"Mamma,whydopeopleobjecttoearlymarriages?"

"Earlymarriages?"saidmymother, stoppingherknitting, lookingatme,whileasmileflashedoverherthincheeks:"what'sthechildthinkingof?"

"I mean, why can't Susie and I be married now? I want her here. I'mlonesomewithouther.Nobodywantstoplaywithmeinthishouse,andifshewerehereweshouldbetogetherallthetime."

MyfatherwokeupfromhismeditationonhisnextSunday'ssermon,andlookedatmymother,smiling.Agentlelaughrippledherbosom.

"Why,dear,"shesaid,"don'tyouknowyourfatherisapoorman,andhashard work to support his children now?He couldn't afford to keep anotherlittlegirl."

I thought thematterover, sorrowfully.Herewas thepecuniarydifficulty,

thatputsoffsomanydesiringlovers,meetingmeontheverythresholdoflife.

"Mother,"Isaid,afteraperiodofmournfulconsideration,"Iwouldn'teatbutjusthalfasmuchasIdonow,andI'dtrynottowearoutmyclothes,andmake 'em last longer." My mother had very bright eyes, and there was amingled flashof tears and laughter in them, aswhen the sunwinks throughraindrops.Sheliftedmegentlyintoherlapanddrewmyheaddownonherbosom.

"Someday,whenmy little songrows tobeaman, IhopeGodwillgivehimawifehelovesdearly.'Housesandlandsarefromthefathers;butagoodwifeisoftheLord,'theBiblesays."

"That'strue,dear,"saidmyfather,lookingathertenderly;"nobodyknowsthatbetterthanIdo."

My mother rocked gently back and forward with me in the eveningshadows,andtalkedwithmeandsoothedme,andtoldmestorieshowonedayIshouldgrowtobeagoodman—aminister,likemyfather,shehoped—andhaveadearlittlehouseofmyown.

"AndwillSusiebeinit?"

"Let'shopeso,"saidmymother."Whoknows?"

"But,mother,ain'tyousure?Iwantyoutosayitwillbecertainly."

"My little one, only our dear Father could tell us that," saidmymother."Butnowyoumusttryandlearnfast,andbecomeagoodstrongman,sothatyoucantakecareofalittlewife."

CHAPTERIII.

OURCHILD-EDEN.

Mymother's talk aroused all the enthusiasm of my nature. Here was amotive,tobesure.Iwenttobedanddreamedofit.Ithoughtoverallpossiblewaysof growingbig and strong rapidly—Ihadheard the stories ofSamsonfromtheBible.Howdidhegrowsostrong?Hewasprobablyoncealittleboylikeme."Didhegofor thecows, Iwonder," thought I—"and letdownverybigbarswhenhishandswerelittle,andlearntoridetheoldhorsebare-back,whenhis legswereveryshort?"All these thingsIwasemulous todo;andIresolvedtoliftveryheavypailsfullofwater,andverymanyofthem,andtoclimb into the mow, and throw down great armfulls of hay, and in everypossiblewaytogrowbigandstrong.

IrememberthenextdayaftermytalkwithmymotherwasSaturday,andIhadleavetogoupandspenditwithSusie.

Therewas ameadow just backofhermother's house,whichweused tocall themowing lot. Itwaswhitewithdaisies, yellowwithbuttercups,withsomemoderate share of timothy and herds grass intermixed. But what wasspecially interesting touswas, that,down lowat the rootsof thegrass, andhere and there inmoist, rich spots, grewwild strawberries, large and juicy,risingonnicehighstalks,withthreeorfouronacluster.WhatjoytherewasinthepossessionofawholesunnySaturdayafternoontobespentwithSusieinthis meadow! Tome the amount of happiness in the survey was greatly inadvanceofwhatInowhaveintheviewofathreeweeks'summerexcursion.

When,aftermultipliedcautionsanddirections,andcarefuladjustmentofSusie'sclothing,onthepartofhermother,Susiewasfairlydelivereduptome;whenwehadturnedourbacksonthehouseandgotbeyondcall,thenourblisswas complete. How carefully and patronizingly I helped her up the loose,mossy,stonewall,allhedgedwithawildernessofgolden-rod,ferns,raspberrybushes, and asters!Downwewent through this tangled thicket, into such asecureworld of joy,where the daisiedmeadow received us to hermotherlybosom,andweweresurenobodycouldseeus.

Wecouldsitdownandlookupward,andseedaisiesandgrassesnoddingandbobbingoverourheads,hidingusascompletelyastwoyounggrassbirds;anditwassuchfuntothinkthatnobodycouldfindoutwherewewere!Twobob-o-links,whohadanestsomewhereinthatlot,usedtomountguardinanoldappletree,andsitontall,bendingtwigs,andsay,"Chack!chack!chack!"andfluttertheirblackandwhitewingsupanddown,andburstoutintomostelaborateandcomplicatedbabblesofmelody.Thesewereouronlyassociatesandwitnesses.Wethought that theyknewus,andwereglad toseeus there,and wouldn't tell anybody where we were for the world. There was anexquisitepleasuretousinthissenseofutterisolation—ofbeinghidwitheachotherwherenobodycouldfindus.

Wehadworldsofnicesecretspeculiartoourselves.Nobodybutourselvesknewwherethe"thickspots"were,wheretheripe,scarletstrawberriesgrew;thebigboysneversuspectedthem,wesaidtooneanother,northebiggirls;itwas our own secret,whichwe kept between our own little selves.Howwesearched,andpicked,andchatted,andoh'dandah'dtoeachother,aswefoundwonderfulplaces,wherethestrawberriespassedallbelief!

But profoundest of all ourwonderful secretswere our discoveries in theregionofanimallife.Wefound,inatuftofgrassovershadowedbywildroses,a grass bird's nest. In vain did the cunning mother creep yards from thecherishedspot,andthensuddenlyflyupinthewrongplace;wewerenottobe

deceived.Ourbusyhandspartedthelacecurtainsoffern,and,withwhispersof astonishment,we counted the little speckled, bluegreen eggs.How roundandfineandexquisite,pastallgemspolishedbyart,theyseemed;andwhatamysterywasthelittlecurioussmooth-linednestinwhichwefoundthem!Wetalkedtothebirdsencouragingly."Dearlittlebirds,"wesaid,"don'tbeafraid;nobodybutweshallknowit;"andthenwesaidtoeachother,"TomHallidaynevershallfindthisout,norJimFellows."Theywouldcarryofftheeggsandtear up the nest; and our hearts swelled with such a responsibility for thetender secret, that it was all we could do that week to avoid telling it toeverybody we met. We informed all the children at school that we knewsomethingthattheydidn't—somethingthatwenevershouldtell!—somethingsowonderful!—somethingthatitwouldbewickedtotellof—formothersaidso; for be it observed that, like good children,we had taken our respectivemothers into confidence, and received the strictest and most conscientiouschargesastoourdutytokeepthebirds'secret.

In thatenchantedmeadowofoursgrewtall,yellowlilies,glowingas thesunset,hangingdowntheirbells,sixorseveninnumber,fromhigh,gracefulstalks,likebelltowersoffairyland.Theywereoverourheadssometimes,astheyrosefromthegrassanddaisies,andwelookedupintotheirgoldenheartsspottedwithblack,withasecret,wonderingjoy.

"Oh,don'tpickthem,theylooktoopretty,"saidSusietomeoncewhenIstretchedupmyhandtogatheroneofthese."Let'sleavethemtobeherewhenwecomeagain!Iliketoseethemwave."

And so we left the tallest of them; but I was not forbidden to gatherhandfulsofthelesswonderfulspecimensthatgrewonlyoneortwoonastalk.Ourbouquetsofflowersincreasedwithourstrawberries.

Throughthemiddleof thismeadowchattereda littlebrook,gurglingandtinklingovermany-coloredpebbles,andhereandtherecollectingitselfintoaminiaturewaterfall,asitpitchedoverabrokenbitofrock.Forourheightandsize,thewaterfallsofthislittlebrookwereequaltothoseofTrenton,oranyofthemedium cascades that draw the fashionable crowd of grown-up people;andwhatwasthebestofitwas,itwasourbrook,andourwaterfall.Wefoundthem,andweverilybelievednobodyelsebutourselvesknewofthem.

Bythiswaterfall,asIcalledit,whichwascertainlyafootandahalfhigh,wesatandarrangedourstrawberrieswhenourbasketswerefull,andItalkedwithSusieaboutwhatmymotherhadtoldme.

I can see her now, the little crumb of womanhood, as she sat, gailylaughingatme."Shedidn'tcareabit,"shesaid.ShehadjustasliefwaittillIgrew tobe aman.Why,wecouldgo to school together, andhaveSaturdayafternoonstogether."Don'tyoumindit,HazzyDazzy,"shesaid,comingclose

uptome,andputtingherlittlearmscoaxinglyroundmyneck;"weloveeachother,andit'seversonicenow."

I wonder what the reason is that it is one of the first movements ofaffectionatefeelingtochangethenameofthelovedone.Giveababyaname,eversoshortandeversomusical,where is themother thatdoesnot twist itintosomeotherpetnamebetweenherselfandherchild.SoSusie,whenshewasvery loving, calledmeHazzy, and sometimeswouldplayonmyname,and call me Hazzy Dazzy, and sometimes Dazzy, and we laughed at thisbecause it was between us; and we amused ourselves with thinking howsurprisedpeoplewouldbetohearhersayDazzy,andhowtheywouldwonderwho shemeant. In likemanner, I used to call herDaisywhenwewere byourselves,because she seemed tomesoneatand trimandpure, andworealittleflathatonSundaysjustlikeadaisy.

"I'lltellyou,Daisy,"saidI,"justwhatI'mgoingtodo—I'mgoingtogrowstrongasSampsondid."

"Oh,buthowcanyou?"shesuggested,doubtfully.

"Oh,I'mgoingtorunandjumpandclimb,andcarryeversomuchwaterforMother,andI'mtorideonhorsebackandgotomill,andgoallroundonerrands, and so I shallget tobeaman fast, andwhen Iget tobeaman I'llbuildahouseallonpurposeforyouandme—I'llbuild itallmyself; itshallhaveaparlorandadining-roomandkitchen,andbed-room,andwell-room,andchambers"—

"Andniceclosetstoputthingsin,"suggestedthelittlewoman.

"Certainly,eversomany—justwhereyouwantthem,thereI'llputthem,"said I,with surpassing liberality. "And then,whenwe live together, I'll takecareofyou—I'llkeepoffallthelionsandbearsandpanthers.Ifabearshouldcomeatyou,Daisy,Ishouldtearhimrightintwo,justasSampsondid."

At this vivid picture, Daisy nestled close to my shoulder, and her eyesgrewlargeandreflective."Weshouldn'tleavepoorMotheralone,"saidshe.

"Oh, no; she shall come and live with us," said I, with an exaltedgenerosity."Iwillmakeheranicechamberonpurpose,andmymothershallcome,too."

"Butshecan'tleaveyourfather,youknow."

"Oh,fathershallcome,too—whenhegetsoldandcan'tpreachanymore.Ishalltakecareofthemall."

Andmy littleDaisy looked atmewith eyes of approving credulity, andsaidIwasabraveboy;andthebobolinkschitteredandchatteredapplauseasthey sung and skirmished andwhirled up over themeadowgrasses; and by

andby,when the sun fell low,and looked likeagreatgoldenball,withourhandsfulloflilies,andourbasketsfullofstrawberries,weclimbedovertheoldwall,andtoddledhome.

After that, I remember many gay and joyous passages in that happiestsummer ofmy life.How,when autumn came,we roved through thewoodstogether,andgatheredsuchstoresofglossybrownchestnuts.Whatjoyitwasto us to scuff through the painted fallen leaves and send them flying likeshowers of jewels before us! How I reconnoitered and marked availablechestnut trees, and how I gloried in being able to climb like a cat, and getastridehigh limbsandshakeandbeat them,andhear theglossybrownnutsfallwitha rich,heavy thudbelow,whileSusiewasbusilypickingupat thefootof the tree.Howshedid flattermewithmysuccessandprowess!TomHallidaymightbeabiggerboy,buthecouldnevergoupatreeasIcould;andas for that great clumsy JimFellows, she laughed to thinkwhat a figure hewouldmake,goingoutontheendofthesmalllimbs,whichwouldbesuretobreak and send him bundling down. The picture which Susie drew of theawkwardnessofthebigboysoftenmadeuslaughtillthetearsrolleddownourcheeks.TothisdayIobserveitasaweaknessofmysexthatwealltakeitinextremelygoodpartwhentheprettygirlofourheartlaughsatotherfellowsina snug, quiet way, just between one's dear self and herself alone. WeencourageourowndearlittlecattoscratchandclawthesacredmemoriesofJimorTom,andthinkthatshedoesitinanextremelycunninganddivertingway—itbeingunderstoodbetweenusthatthereisnomaliceinit—that"JimandTomarenicefellowsenough,youknow—onlythatsomebodyelse issosuperiortothem,"etc.

Susie and I considered ourselves as an extremely forehanded,well-to-dopartnership, in the matter of gathering in our autumn stores. No pair ofchipmonksintheneighborhoodconductedbusinesswithmoreability.Wehada famouscellar that Idugandstoned,wherewestoredawayourspoils.Wehadchestnutsandwalnutsandbutternuts,aswesaid,tolastusallwinter,andmany an earnest consultation and many a busy hour did the gathering andarrangingofthesespoilscostus.

Then,oh,thegoldentimeswehadwhenfather'sbarrelsofnewcidercamehomefromthepress!HowIcutandgatheredandselectedbunchesofchoicestraws, which I took to school and showed to Susie, surreptitiously, atintervals,duringschoolexercises,thatshemightseewhataprovisionofblissIwasmakingforSaturdayafternoons.HowSusiewassenttovisitusontheseoccasions, in leather shoes and checked apron, so that we might go in thecellar; and how,mounted up on logs on either side of a barrel of cider,weplunged our straws through the foamymass at the bung-hole, and drewoutlongdraughtsofsweetcider!Iwassuretogetmyselfdirtyinmyzeal,which

sheneverdid;andthenshewouldlaughatmeandpatronizeme,andwipemeup inamotherlysortofway."Howdoyoualwaysgetsodirty,Harry?"shewouldsay,inatrulymaternaltoneofreproof."Howdoyoukeepsoclean?"Iwouldsay, inwonder;andshewould laugh,andcallmeherdear,dirtyboy.She would often laugh at me, the little elf, and make herself distractinglymerryatmyexpense,butthemomentshesawthatthebloodwasgettingtoohighinmycheeks,shewouldstrokemedownwithpraises,asbecameawiseyoungdaughterofEve.

Besides all this, she had her little airs of moral superiority, and usedoccasionally to lectureme in the nicestmanner. Being an only darling, sheherselfwasbroughtupinthestrictestwaysinwhichlittlefeetcouldgo;andthenicetyofherconsciencewasasunsulliedas thatofherdress. Iwashottemperedandheady,andunderstressofgreatprovocationwouldcomeasnearswearingasaminister'ssoncouldpossiblydo.Whenthebigboysravagedourhouseunder the tree,or threwsticksatus, Iused to stretcheverypermittedlimit, and scream, "Darn you!" and "Confound you!" with a vigor andemphasisthatmadeitalmostequaltosomethingagooddealstronger.

On such occasions Susie would listen pale and frightened, and, whenreasoncameback tome,gravely lectureme,andbringme into thepathsofvirtue. She used to rehearse to me the teachings of her mother about allmannerofgoodthings.

Ihaveherimagenowinmymind,lookingsocrispandcomposedandneatin her sobriety, repeating, formy edification, the hymnwhich contained thegoodchild'sidealinthosedays:

"Oh,thatitweremychiefdelight

TodothethingsIought,

Thenletmetrywithallmymight

TomindwhatIamtaught.

Whene'erI'mtold,I'llfreelybring

WhateverIhavegot,

Andnevertouchaprettything,

Whenmothertellsmenot.

Ifshepermitsme,Imaytell

Aboutmylittletoys,

Butifshe'sbusyorunwell,

Imustnotmakeanoise."

I can hear now the delicious lisp ofmy little saint, and see the graciousgravityofhermanner.Tomymind,shewasunaccountablywellestablishedinthewaysofvirtue,andIlistenedtoherlittlelectureswithasecretreverence.

SusiewasespeciallycarefulintheobservationofSunday,andasthatisapointwherechildrenareapttobeparticularlyweak,shewouldexhortmetorigorousexactitude.

Ikeptit,first,bythinkingthatIshouldseeheratchurch,andbygrowingvery precise about my Sunday clothes, whereat my sisters winked at eachotherandlaughedslyly.Thenatchurchwesatingreatsquarepewsadjoiningtoeachother.ItwasmypleasuretopeepthroughtheslatsatSusie.Shewaswonderful tobehold then,all inwhite,withaprofusionofblue ribbonsandherlittleflathatoverhercurls—andapairofdaintyblueshoespeepingoutfromherdress.

She informedme that little girls nevermust think about their clothes inmeeting,andsoIsupposedshewastryingtobeentirelyabsorbedfromearthlyvanities, unconscious of the fixed and earnest stare with which I followedeverymovement.

Humannatureisbutpartiallysanctified,however,inlittlesaintsaswellasgrownupones,andInoticedthatoccasionally,probablybyaccident,thegreatblueeyesmetmine,andasmile,almostamountingtoasinfulgiggle,waswithdifficulty choked down. Shewas, however, amost conscientious little pussandrecoveredherselfinamoment,andlookedgravelyupwardattheminister,not one word of whose sermon could she by any possibility understand,severely devoting herself to her religious duties, till exhausted nature gaveway. The little lids would close over the eyes like blue pimpernel before ashower,—theheadwoulddropandnod,tillfinallythemotherwoulddispensethe little Christian from further labors, by laying her head on her lap anddrawingherfeetupcomfortablyupontheseat, tosleepouttotheendofthesermon.

WhenwintercameonIbesetmyolderbrothertomakemeasled.Sleds,suchaseveryboyinBostonorNewYorknowrejoicesin,wereblessingsinourpartsunknown;oursledwasofrough,domesticmanufacture.

Mybrother,laughing,askedifmysledwasintendedtodrawSusieon,andonmyearnestresponseintheaffirmativeheamusedhimselfwithpaintingitincolors,redandblue,mostglorioustobehold.

My soul was magnified within me when I first started with this stylishestablishmenttowaitonSusie.

What young fellow does not exult in a smart team when he has a girlwhomhewantstodazzle?GreatwasmyjoyandpridewhenIfirststoppedat

Susie's and told her to hurry on her things, for I had come to draw her toschool!

Whataprettypictureshemadeinherlittleblueknithoodandmittens,herbrightcurlsflyingandcheeksglowingwiththekeenwinterair!Therewasalonghillon theway toschool,andseatedon thesledbehindher, Icareeredgloriously down with exultation in my breast, while a stream of laughterfloatedonthebreezebehindus.Thatwasawinterofmuchcoastingdownhill,of red cheeks and red noses, of cold toes, which we neverminded, and ofabundantjollity.Susie,underhermother'scarefulshowing,knitmeapairofredmittens,warming to the heart and delightful to the eyes; and I piled upwoodandcarriedwaterforMother,andbyvigorouseconomyearnedmoneyenoughtobuySusieagreatcandyheartasbigasmytwohands,thathadthepictureof twodoves tied together by ablue ribbononone side, andon theothertwoveryredheartsskeweredtogetherbyanarrow.

Noworkofartevergavegreaterandmoreunmingleddelight.Susiegaveitaprominentplaceinherbaby-house,—andthoughitwasundeniablysweet,as certain little nibbling trials on its edgeshadproved, yet the artistic sensewasstrongerthanthepalate,andthecandyheartwaskepttobelookedatandrejoicedin.

Susie'smotherwasanintimateandconfidentialfriendofmymother,andamost docile and confiding sheep of my father's flock. She regarded herminister'sfamily,andallthatbelongedtoit,assomethingsetapartandsacred.Mymotherhadimpartedtoherthelittlejokeofmymatrimonialwishes,andthetwomatronshadlaughedoverittogether,andthensighed,andsaid,"Ah!well, stranger things have happened." Susie's mother told how she used toknowherhusbandwhenhewasalittleboy,andwhatifitshouldbe!andthentheystrayedontothegeneraltruththatthiswasaworldofuncertainty,andwenevercantellwhatadaymaybringforth.

Ourlittleidyl,too,wasratherencouragedbymybrothersandsisters,whomadeapetandplaythingofSusie,anddivertedthemselvesbythegravityandhonesty with which we devoted ourselves to each other. Oh! dear ignorantdays—sweetlittlechild-Eden—whycoulditnotlast?

But it could not. It was fleeting as the bobolink's song, as the spottedyellow lilies, as the grass and daisies. My little Daisy was too dear to theangelstobesparedtogrowupinourcoarseworld.

Thewinter passed and spring came, andSusie and I rejoiced in the firstbluebird, and found blue and white violets together, and went to schooltogether, till the heats of summer came on. Then a sad epidemic began tolingeraroundinourmountains,andtobeheardofinneighboringvillages,andmypoorDaisywasscorchedbyitsbreath.

Irememberwellourlastafternoontogetherinthemeadow,where,theyearbefore,wehadgatheredstrawberries.Wewentdownintoitinhighspirits;thestrawberries were abundant, and we chatted and picked together gaily, tillDaisybegantocomplainthatherheadachedandherthroatwassore.Isatherdownbythebrook,andwethercurlswiththewater,andtoldhertorestthere,and letmepick forher.Butprettysoonshecalledme.Shewascryingwithpain. "Oh!Hazzy, dear, Imust go home," she said. "Takeme toMother." Ihurriedtohelpher,forshecriedandmoanedsothatIwasfrightened.Ibegantocry,too,andwecameupthestepsofhermother'shousesobbingtogether.

Whenhermothercameoutthelittleonesuppressedhertearsanddistressfor amoment, and turning, threwher arms aroundmy neck and kissedme."Don'tcryanymore,Hazzy,"shesaid;"we'llseeeachotheragain."

Hermothertookherupinherarmsandcarriedherin,andIneversawmylittlebaby-wifeagainonthisearth!Notwherethedaisiesandbuttercupsgrew;norwherethegoldenliliesshooktheirbells,andthebobolinkstrilled;notinthe school-room, with its many child-voices; not in the old square pew inchurch—never,nevermorethattrimlittlemaidenform,thosevioletblueeyes,thosegoldencurlsofhair,weretobeseenonearth!

MyDaisy's lastkisses,with the fever throbbing inherveins,verynearlytookmewithher.FromthattimeIhaveonlyindistinctremembrancesofgoinghomecrying,of turningwithastrangeloathingfrommysupper,ofcreepingupandgetting intobed,shiveringandburning,witha thumpingandbeatingpaininmyhead.

Thenextmorningthefamilydoctorpronouncedmeacaseoftheepidemic(scarlet fever) which he said was all about among children in theneighborhood.

I have dim, hot, hazy recollections of burning, thirsty, head-achey days,whenIlongedforcoldwater,andcouldnotgetadrop,accordingtothegoodoldrulesofmedicalpracticeinthosetimes.Idimlyobserveddifferentpeoplesitting up with me every night, and putting different medicines in myunresistingmouth;anddaycreptslowlyafterday,andIlayidlywatchingtheraysofsunlightandflutterofleavesontheoppositewall.

Oneafternoon, I remember, as I lay thus listless, I heard thevillagebellstrike slowly—six times. The sound wavered and trembled with long andsolemnintervalsofshiveringvibrationbetween.ItwasthenumberingofmyDaisy'slittleyearsonearth,—theannouncementthatshehadgonetothelandwheretimeisnomoremeasuredbydayandnight,forthereshallbenonightthere.

WhenIwaswellagainIremembermymothertoldmethatmylittleDaisy

was in heaven, and I heard it with a dull, cold chill about my heart, andwonderedthatIcouldnotcry.

I look back now into my little heart as it was then, and remember theparoxysms of silent pain I used to have at times, deep within, while yet Iseemedtobelikeanyotherboy.

I heardmy sisters one day discussingwhether I caredmuch forDaisy'sdeath.

"Hedon'tseemto,much,"saidone.

"Oh, children are little animals, they forget what's out of sight," saidanother.

But I did not forget,—I could not bear to go to the meadowwhere wegathered strawberries,—to the chestnut treeswherewehadgatherednuts,—and oftentimes, suddenly, in work or play, that smothering sense of a past,forevergone,cameovermelikeaphysicalsickness.

When childrengrowup amongolder people and are pushed and jostled,andsetasideinthemoreengrossinginterestsoftheirelders,thereisanalmostincredible amount of timidity and dumbness of nature, with regard to theexpressionofinwardfeeling,—andyet,oftenatthistimetheinstinctivesenseofpleasureandpain is fearfullyacute.But thechildhas imperfectly learnedlanguage.Hisstockofwords,asyet,consistsonlyinnamesandattributesofoutward and physical objects, and he has no phraseology with which toembodyamereemotionalexperience.

WhatIfeltwhenIthoughtofmylittleplayfellow,wasadizzying,chokingrush of bitter pain and anguish. Children can feel this acutely as men andwomen,—buteveninmaturelifethisexperiencehasnogiftofexpression.

Mymotheralone,withthediviningpowerofmothers,keptaneyeonme."Whoknows,"shesaidtomyfather,"butthisdeathmaybeaheavenlycalltohim."

Shesatdowngentlybymybedonenightand talkedwithmeofheaven,and thebrightnessandbeauty there,and toldme that littleSusiewasnowafairwhiteangel.

Iremembershakingwithatempestofsobs.

"ButIwantherhere,"Isaid."Iwanttoseeher."

Mymotherwent over all the explanations in the premises,—all that caneverbesaidinsuchcases,butIonlysobbedthemore.

"Ican'tseeher!Ohmother,mother!"

ThatnightIsobbedmyselftosleepanddreamedablesseddream.

ItseemedtomethatIwasagaininourmeadow,andthatitwasfairerthaneverbefore;thesunshonegaily, theskywasblue,andourgreat,goldenlilystocksseemedmysteriouslybrightandfair,butIwaswanderinglonesomeandsolitary.ThensuddenlymylittleDaisycamerunningtomeetmeinherpinkdress and white apron, with her golden curls hanging down her neck. "OhDaisy,Daisy!" said I runningup to her. "Are you alive?—they toldme thatyouweredead."

"No,Hazzy,dear,Iamnotdead,—neveryoubelievethat,"shesaid,andIfelttheclaspofhersoftlittlearmsroundmyneck."Didn'tItellyouwe'dseeeachotheragain?"

"Buttheytoldmeyouweredead,"Isaidinwonder—andIthoughtIheldheroffandlookedather,—shelaughedgentlyatmeassheoftenusedto,butherlovelyeyeshadamysteriouspowerthatseemedtothrillallthroughme.

"Iamnotdead,dearHazzy,"shesaid."WeneverdiewereIam—Ishallloveyoualways,"andwiththatmydreamwaveredandgrewmistyaswhenclearwaterbreaksanimageintoathousandglassyringsandfragments.

I thought Iheard lovelymusic,and felt soft, claspingarms,and Iawokewithasenseofbeinglovedandpitied,andcomforted.

Icannotdescribe thevivid,penetratingsenseof realitywhich thisdreamleftbehindit.Itseemedtowarmmywholelife,andtogivebacktomypoorlittleheartsomethingthathadbeenrudelytornawayfromit.Perhapsthereisnoreaderthathasnothadexperiencesofthewonderfulpowerwhichadreamoftenexercisesoverthewakinghoursforweeksafter—anditwillnotappearincredible that after that, insteadof shunning themeadowwhereweused toplay,itwasmydelighttowandertherealone,togatherthestrawberries—tendthebirds'nests,andliedownonmybackinthegrassandlookupintothebluesky through anoverarching roofof daisies,with a strange sort of feelingofsociety,asifmylittleDaisywerewithme.

Andisitnotperhapsso?Rightalongsideofthistroublouslife,thatisseenandtemporal,mayliethegreenpasturesandthestillwatersoftheunseenandeternal,andtheywhoknowusbetterthanweknowthem,canatanytimestepacrossthatlittlerillthatwecallDeath,toministertoourcomfort.

Forwhatarethesechild-angelsmade, thataresentdowntothisworldtobring so much love and rapture, and go from us in such bitterness andmourning?IfwebelieveinAlmightyLovewemustbelievethattheyhaveamerciful and tendermission to ourwayward souls. The lovewherewithwelovethemissomethingthemostutterlypureandunworldlyofwhichhumanexperienceiscapable,andwemusthopethateveryonewhogoesfromusto

theworldoflight,goesholdinganinvisiblechainoflovebywhichtodrawusthere.

SometimesI thinkIwouldneverhavehadmylittleDaisygrowolderonour earth. The little child dies in growing into womanhood, and often thewoman is far less lovely than the littlechild. It seems tome that lovelyandlovingchildhood,withitstruthfulness,itsfranksincerity,itspure,simplelove,issosweetandholyanestatethatitwouldbeabeautifulthinginheaventohaveabandofheavenlychildren,guileless,gayand forever joyous—tenderSpringblossomsoftheKingdomofLight.WasitofsuchwhomhehadleftinhisheavenlyhomeourSaviourwasthinking,whenhetooklittlechildrenupinhisarmsandblessedthem,andsaid,"OfsuchistheKingdomofHeaven?"

CHAPTERIV.

MYSHADOW-WIFE.

MyShadowWife!Istherethensubstanceinshadow?Yea,theremaybe.Ashadow—aspiritualpresence—maygowithuswheremortalfootstepscannotgo;walk by our side amid the roar of the city: talkwith us amid the sharpclatter of voices; come to us through closeddoors, aswe sit aloneover ourevening fire; counsel, bless, inspire us; and though the figure cannot beclaspedinmortalarms—thoughthefacebeveiled—yetthiswifeofthefuturemay have a power to bless, to guide, to sustain and console. Suchwas thedream-wifeofmyyouth.

Whence did she come? She rose like a white, puremist from that littlegrave.Sheformedherselflikeacloud-maidenfromtherainanddewofthosefirsttears.

Whenwelookattheapparentrecklessnesswithwhichgreatsorrowsseemtobedistributedamongthechildrenoftheearth,thereisnowaytokeepourfaith inaFatherly love,except to recognizehow invariably thesorrows thatspring from love are a means of enlarging and dignifying a human being.Nothinggreatorgoodcomeswithoutbirth-pangs,and in just theproportionthatnaturesgrowmorenoble,theircapacitiesofsufferingincrease.

Thebitter,silent,irrepressibleanguishofthatchildishbereavementwastometheawakeningofaspiritualnature.Thelittlecreaturewho,hadshelived,mighthavegrownupperhaps intoacommon-placewoman,becamea fixedstar in theheaven-landof the ideal,alwaysdrawingme to lookupward.Mymemoriesofherwereaspringof refinedand tender feeling, throughallmyearlylife.Icouldnotthenwrite;butIrememberthattheoverflowofmyheart

towardshermemoryrequiredexpression,andItaughtmyselfastrangekindofmanuscript,bycopyingthelettersofthealphabet.Iboughtsixcents'worthofpaper and a tallow candle at the store, which I used to light surreptitiouslywhenIhadbeenput tobednights,and,sittingup inmy littlenight-gown, Ibusied myself with writing my remembrances of her. I could not, for theworld,haveaskedmymother to letmehaveacandle inmybed-roomaftereighto'clock.Iwouldhavediedsooner thantoexplainwhyIwantedit.Mypurchaseofpaperandcandlewasmyfirstactofindependentmanliness.Themoney, I reflected,wasmine,because Iearned itmyself,and thepaperwasmine,andthecandlewasmine,sothatIwasnotusingmyfather'spropertyinan unwarrantable manner, and thus I gave myself up to my inspirations. Iwrotemyremembrancesofher,asshestoodamongthedaisiesandthegoldenlilies. I wrote down her little words of wisdom and grave advice, in thequeerestmanuscriptthateverpuzzledawisemanoftheEast.Ifoneimaginesthat all this was spelt phonetically, and not at all in the unspeakable andastonishingway inwhich the English language is conventionally spelt, onemay truly imagine that it was something rather peculiar in the way ofliterature.Buttheheart-comfort,theutterabandonmentofsoulthatwentintoit,issomethingthatonlythosecanimaginewhohavetriedthelikeandfoundthe relief of it.My little heart was like the Caspian sea, or some other seawhich I read about, which had found a secret channel by which its waterscouldpass off under ground.When I had finished, every evening, I used toextinguishmycandle,andputitandmymanuscriptinsideofthestrawbedonwhichIslept,whichhadalongpocketholeinthecentre,securedbybuttons,for the purpose of stirring the straw.Over this I slept in conscious security,every night; sometimeswith blissful dreams of going to brightermeadows,whenIsawmyDaisyplayingwithwholetroopsofbeautifulchildren,fairaswater lilieson theshoreofablue lake.Thus,while I seemed tobe likeanyother boy, thinking of nothing but my sled, and my bat and ball, and mymittens,Ibegantohavealittlewithdrawingroomofmyown;anotherlandinwhich I couldwalkand takeakindofdelight thatnothingvisiblegaveme.Butonedaymyoldestsister,inmakingthebed,withdomesticthoroughness,disemboweledmywholestoreofmanuscriptsandthehalfconsumedfragmentofmycandle.

There is no poetry in housewifery, and my sister at once took ahousewifelyviewoftheproceeding—

"Well,now! is thereanyend to theconjurationsofboys?" she said. "Hemighthavesetthehouseonfireandburnedusallalive,inourbeds!"

Reader,thisisquitepossible,asIusedtoperformmyliterarylaborssittingup in bed, with the candle standing on a narrow ledge on the side of thebedstead.

Forthwiththewholeofmyperformancewaslodgedinmymother'shands—Iwasluckilyatschool.

"Now,girls,"saidmymother,"keepquietaboutthis;aboveall,don'tsayawordtotheboy.Iwillspeaktohim."

Accordingly, thatnightafter Ihadgoneup tobed,mymothercame intomyroomand,whenshehadseenmeinbed,shesatdownbymeandtoldmethewholediscovery. Ihidmyheadunder thebedclothes, and felt a sortofburning shame andmortification thatwas inexpressible; but she had a goodstoreofthatmother'switandwisdombywhichIwastobecomforted.Atlastshesucceededindrawingboththebedclothesfrommyfaceandtheveilfrommyheart,andItoldherallmylittlestory.

"Dear boy," she said, "you must learn to write, and you need not buycandles,youshallsitbymeeveningsandIwillteachyou;itwasveryniceofyoutopracticeallalone;butitwillbeagreatdealeasiertoletmeteachyouthewritingletters."

Now I had begun the usual course ofwriting copies in school. In thosedays it was deemed necessary to commence by teaching what was calledcoarsehand;andIhadfilledmanydrearypageswithm'sandn'sofagiganticsize;butitneverhadyetoccurredtomethatthewritingofthesecopieswastobearanysortofrelationtotheexpressionofthoughtsandemotionswithinmethatwereclamoringforavent,whilemyrudecopiesofprintedlettersdidbeartomymindthisadaptation.Butnowmymothermademesitbyherevenings,withaslateandpencil,and,underhercare,Imadeacross-cutintothefieldsofpracticalhandwriting, andwasalso saved thedangersofgoingoff intoamorbid habit of feeling, which might easily have arisen from my solitaryreveries.

"Dear,"shesaidtomyfather,"Itoldyouthisonewastobeourbrightest.Hewillmakeawriteryet,"andsheshowedhimmymanuscript.

"You must look after him, Mother," said my father, as he always said,when there arose any exigency about the children, that required delicatehandling.

Mymotherwasoneofthatclassofwomenwhosepoweronearthseemstobeonlythegreaterforbeingaspiritualandinvisibleone.Thecontrolofsuchwomenovermen is like thatof the soulover thebody.Thebody isvisible,forceful, obtrusive, self-asserting. The soul invisible, sensitive, yet with asubtle and vital powerwhich constantly gains control and holds every inchthatitgains.

Myfatherwasnaturallyimpetuous,thoughmagnanimous,hastytemperedand imperious, though conscientious; my mother united the most exquisite

sensibilitywith the deepest calm—calm resulting from habitual communionwith the highest and purest source of all rest—the peace that passeth allunderstanding. Gradually, by this spiritual force, this quietude of soul, shebecamehis leaderandguide.Heheldherhandand lookedup toherwithatrustfulimplicitnessthatincreasedwitheveryyear.

"Where'syourmother?"wasalwaysthefondinquirywhenheenteredthehouse, after having been off on one of his long preaching tours or clericalcounsels.At all hours hewould burst from his studywith fragments of thesermonorletterhewaswriting,toreadtoherandreceivehersuggestionsandcriticisms. With her he discussed the plans of his discourses, and at herdictation changed, improved, altered and added; and under the broodinginfluence of her mind, new and finer traits of tenderness and spiritualitypervadedhischaracterandhis teachings. Infact,myfatheroncesaid tome,"Shemademebyherinfluence."

Inthesedays,wesometimeshearwomen,whohaverearedlargefamilieson small means, spoken of as victims who had suffered unheard ofoppressions.Thereisagrowingmaterialismthatrefusestobelievethattherecanbehappinesswithouttheeaseandfacilitiesandluxuriesofwealth.

Butmyfatherandmother,thoughlivingonanarrowincome,wereneverreallypoor.Thechiefevilofpovertyisthecrushingofidealityoutoflife—thetakingaway itspoetryandsubstitutinghardprose;—and thiswith themwasimpossible.My father loved theworkhedid, as theartist loveshispaintingand the sculptor his chisel.Amanneeds lessmoneywhenhe is doingonlywhathelovestodo—what,infact,hemustdo,—payornopay.St.Paulsaid,"A necessity is laid upon me, yea, woe is me, if I preach not the gospel."Preaching the gospelwas his irrepressible instinct, a necessity of his being.Mymother,fromherdeepspiritualnature,wasonesoulwithmyfatherinhislife-work.With themoral organization of a prophetess, she stood nearer toheaven thanhe, and looking in, toldhimwhat she saw, andhe, holdingherhand,feltthethrillofcelestialelectricity.Withsuchwomen,lifehasnoprose;theireyesseeallthingsinthelightofheaven,andflowersofparadisespringupinpathsthattounanointedeyes,seemonlypathsoftoil.Ineverfelt,fromanythingIsawathome,fromanywordoractionofmymother's,thatwewerepoor,inthesensethatpovertywasanevil.Iwasreminded,tobesure,thatwewere poor in a sense that required constant carefulness, watchfulness overlittle things,energetichabits,andvigorous industryandself-helpfulness.Butwewereneverpoorinanysensethatrestrictedhospitalityormadeitaburden.Inthosedays,aminister'shousewasalwaysthehomeforalltheministersandtheirfamilies,wheneveranexigencyrequiredofthemtotravel,andthespareroomofourhouseneverwantedguestsoflongerorshortercontinuance.Buttheatmosphereofthehousewassuchasalwaysmadeguestswelcome.Three

or four times a year, the annual clerical gatherings of the church filled ourhousetooverflowingandnecessitatedanabundantprovisionandgreatactivityofpreparationon thepartof thewomenofour family.Yet Ineverheardanexpression of impatience or a suggestion that made me suppose they feltthemselvesundulyburdened.Mymother'scheerfulfacewasawelcomeandabenedictionatalltimes,andguestsfounditgoodtobewithher.

In themidstofour largefamily,ofdifferentages,ofvigorousgrowth,ofgreat individuality and forcefulness of expression, my mother's was theadministrative power. My father habitually referred everything to her, andleanedonher advicewith a childlikedependence.She read the characterofeach, she mediated between opposing natures: she translated the dialect ofdifferentsortsofspirits,toeachother.Inafamilyofyoungchildren,thereisachanceforeverysortandvarietyofnatures;andfornatureswhosemodesoffeelingareasforeigntoeachother,asthoseoftheFrenchandtheEnglish.Itneedsacommoninterpreter,whounderstandseverydialectofthesoul,thustotranslatedifferencesofindividualityintoacommonlanguageoflove.

It has often seemed to me a fair question, on a review of the way mymother ruled in our family, whether the politics of the ideal state in amillennial community, should not be one equally pervaded by mother-influences.

The woman question of our day, as I understand it is this.—ShallMOTHERHOOD ever be felt in the public administration of the affairs ofstate?Thestateisnothingmorenorlessthanacollectionoffamilies,andwhatwouldbegoodorbadfortheindividualfamily,wouldbegoodorbadforthestate.

Suchasourfamilywouldhavebeen,ruledonlybymyfather,withoutmymother, such the political state is, and has been; there have been in it"conscriptfathers,"butno"conscriptmothers;"yetisnotamother'sinfluenceneeded inacts that relate to the interestsofcollected familiesasmuchas inindividualones?

The state, at this veryday, needs an influence likewhat I rememberourmother's tohavebeen, inourgreat,vigorous,growingfamily,—aninfluencequiet, calm,warming, purifying, uniting—it needs awomanly economy andthrift inhusbandingandapplying itsmaterial resources—itneedsadiviningpower, bywhich different sections and different races can be interpreted toeach other, and blended together in love—it needs an educating power, bywhich its immaturechildrenmaybe trained invirtue—itneedsa lovingandredeeming power, by which its erring and criminal children may be bornewith,purified,andledbacktovirtue.

Yet,while I thusmuse, I remember that suchwomen asmymother are

those to whom in an especial manner all noise and publicity and unrestfulconflict are peculiarly distasteful.Mymother had that delicacy of fibre thatmade any kind of public exercise of her powers an impossibility. It is notpeculiarlya femininecharacteristic,butbelongsequally tomanymenof thefinest natures. It is characteristic of the poets and philosophers of life. It isascribedbythesacredwriterstoJesusofNazareth,inwhomanaversionforpublicityandalongingforstillnessandretirementarespeciallyindicatedbymany touching incidents. Jesus preferred to form around him a family ofdisciplesandtoactontheworldthroughthem,anditisremarkablethatheleftno writings directly addressed to the world by himself, but only by thosewhomheinspired.

Womenof thisbrooding,quiet,deeplyspiritualnature,while theycannotattendcaucuses,orpullpoliticalwiresormingleinthestrifeofpoliticallife,areyetthemostneededforcetobeforthegoodoftheState.IampersuadedthatitisnottillthisclassofwomenfeelasvitalandpersonalresponsibilityforthegoodoftheState,astheyhavehithertofeltforthatofthefamily,thatweshallgain the finalelementsofaperfectsociety.The lawsofRome,sosaidthegracefulmyth,weredictated toNumaPompilius, by thenymph,Egeria.Nomortaleyesawher.Shewasnot in theforum,or thesenate.Shedidnotstrive, nor cry, nor lift up her voice in the street, but shemade the laws bywhichRomeruledtheworld.LetushopeinacomingdaythatnotEgeria,butMary, themotherof Jesus, thegreat archetypeof theChristianmotherhood,shallbe felt throughall the lawsand institutionsofsociety.ThatMary,whokeptallthingsandponderedtheminherheart—thesilentpoet,theprophetess,the one confidential friend of Jesus, sweet and retired as evening dew, yetstrongtogoforthwithChristagainst thecruelandvulgarmob,andtostandunfaintingbythecrosswhereHesuffered!

From the time that mymother discoveredmy store of manuscripts, shecame into new and more intimate relation with me. She took me from thedistrict school, and kept me constantly with herself, teaching me in theintervalsofdomesticavocations.

Iwaswhatiscalledamother's-boy,asshetaughtmetorenderherallsortsofhouseholdservices, suchasareusuallyperformedbygirls.My twooldersisters, about this time, left us, to establish a seminary in theneighborhood,andthesisternearestmyagewenttostudyundertheircare,sothatmymothersaid,playfully,shehadnoresourcebuttomakeagirlofme.Thisassociationwithawomanlynature,and thisdiscipline inwomanlyways, Ihold tohavebeenaninvaluablepartofmyearlytraining.Thereisnoearthlyreasonwhichrequiresaman,inordertobemanly, tobeunhandyandclumsyinregardtotheminutiæofdomesticlife;andtherearequantitiesofoccasionsoccurringinthe life of everyman, in which hewill have occasion to be grateful to his

mother,if,likemine,shetrainshiminwoman'sartsandthesecretsofmakingdomesticlifeagreeable.

But it is not merely in this respect that I felt the value of my earlycompanionshipwithmymother.The power of suchwomenover our sex isessentially the service rendered us in forming our ideal, and it was by mymother'sinfluencethattheidealguardian,the"shadowwife,"wasformed,thatguidedmethroughmyyouth.

Shewiselylaidholdofthelittleidylofmychildhood,assomethingwhichgaveherthekeytomynature,andopenedbeforemethehopeinmymanhoodofsuchafriendasmylittleDaisyhadbeentomychildhood.Thiswifeofthefuturesheoftenspokeofasamotive.Iwastomakemyselfworthyofher.ForhersakeIwastobestrong,tobeefficient,tobemanlyandtrue,andaboveallpureinthoughtandimaginationandinword.

ThecoldmountainairandsimplehabitsofNewEnglandcountrylifearelargelyapreventiveofopenimmorality;butthereisanothertemptationwhichbesets the boy, against which the womanly ideal is the best shield—thetemptationtovulgarityandobscenity.

Itwastomymother'scareandteachingIoweit,thattherealwaysseemedtobealadyatmyelbow,whenstoriesweretoldsuchasapurewomanwouldblushtohear.Itwasowingtoher,thatagreatdealofwhatIsupposedtobeclassicalliteraturebothinGreekandLatinandinEnglishwastomeandistometothisdaysimplyrepulsiveanddisgusting.IrememberthatonetimewhenIwasinmytwelfthorthirteenthyear,oneofSatan'sagentsputintomyhandoneofthosestoriesthatarewrittenwithanexpresspurposeofdemoralizingthe young—stories that are sent creeping like vipers and rattle-snakesstealthily and secretly among inexperienced and unguarded boys hiding insecretcorners,glidingundertheirpillowsandfillingtheirveinswiththefeverpoison of impurity. How many boys in the most critical period of life areforever ruined, inbodyandsoul,by thesilent secretglidingamong themofthesenestsofimpureserpents,unlesstheyhaveamother,wise,watchful,andnever sleeping, with whom they are in habits of unreserved intimacy andcommunion!

Irememberthatwhenmymothertookfrommethisbook,itwaswithanexpressionoffearandhorrorwhichmadeadeepimpressiononme.Thenshesatbymethatnight,whentheshadowsweredeepening,andtoldmehowthereadingofsuchbooks,orthelettingofsuchideasintomymindwouldmakemeunworthyof thewife shehopedsomeday Iwouldwin.Withavoiceofsolemnaweshespokeoftheholymysteryofmarriageassomethingsosacred,that allmy life's happiness dependedon keeping it pure, and surrounding itonlywiththeholiestthoughts.

It wasmore the thrill of her sympathies, the noble poetry of her natureinspiringmine,thananythingshesaid,thatacteduponmeandstimulatedmetokeepmymindandmemorypure.IntheclosenessofmycommunionwithherIseemedtoseethroughhereyesandfeelthroughhernerves,sothatatlastapassageinabookorasentimentutteredalwayssuggestedtheideaofwhatshewouldthinkofit.

Inourdayswehaveheardmuchsaidoftheimportanceoftrainingwomentobewives. Is therenot something tobe saidon the importanceof trainingmen to be husbands? Is the wide latitude of thought and reading andexpressionwhichhasbeenaccordedasamatterofcoursetotheboyandtheyoung man, the conventionally allowed familiarity with coarseness andindelicacy,afairpreparationtoenablehimtobetheintimatecompanionofapure woman? For how many ages has it been the doctrine that man andwomanweretomeetinmarriage,theonecrystal-pure,theotherfoulwiththepermittedgarbageofallsortsofuncleansedliteratureandlicense?

Ifthemanistobetheheadofthewoman,evenasChrististheheadoftheChurch,shouldhenotbeherequal,atleast,inpurity?

Myshadow-wifegrewupbymysideundermymother'screativetouch.Itwas forher I studied, forher I should toil.The thoughtofprovidingforhertookthesordidelementoutofeconomyandmadeitunselfish.Shewastobeto me adviser, friend, inspirer, charmer. She was to be my companion, notaloneinonefaculty,but throughall therangeofmybeing—thereshouldbenothing wherein she and I could not by appreciative sympathy communetogether.AsIthoughtofher,sheseemedhigherthanI.Imustloveupandnotdown,Isaid.ShemuststandonaheightandImustclimbtoher—shemustbeaprincessworthyofmanytoilsandmanylabors.Graduallyshebecametomeacontrollingpower.

The thought,ofwhatshewould think,closedformemanyabook that IfeltsheandIcouldnotreadtogether—herfairimagebarredthewaytomanyadoorandavenue,whichifayoungmanenters,hemustleavehisgoodangelbehind,—forher sake I abjured intimacies that I felt she couldnot approve,anditwasmyambitiontokeeptheinnertempleofmyheartandthoughtssopure,thatitmightbeaworthyrestingplaceforheratlast.

CHAPTERV.

ISTARTFORCOLLEGEANDMYUNCLEJACOBADVISESME.

Thetimecameat lastwhenthesacredhabitof intimacywithmymother

wasbroken,andIwastoleaveherforcollege.

Itwasthemorepainfultoher,asonlyayearbefore,myfatherhaddied,leavinghermorethaneverdependentonthesocietyofherchildren.

Myfatherdiedashehadlived,rejoicinginhisworkandfeelingthatifhehadahundredlivestolive,hewoulddevotethemtothesameobjectforwhichhehadspentthatone—thepreachingoftheGospel.Helefttomymotherthehomesteadandasmallfarm,whichwasunderthecareofoneofmybrothers,sothattheeventofhisdeathmadenochangeinourfamilyhomecenter,andIwas to go to college and fulfill the hope of his heart and the desire ofmymother'slife,inconsecratingmyselftotheworkoftheChristianministry.

Myfatherandmotherhadalwayskeptsacredlyalittlefundlaidbyfortheeducationof theirchildren; itwas theresultofmanysmallsavingsandself-denials—but self-denials so cheerfully and hopefully encountered that theyhadalmostchangedtheirnatureandbecomepreferences.Thefamilyfundforthispurposehadbeenusedinturnbytwoofmyolderbrothers,who,assoonas they gained an independent foothold in life, appropriated each his firstearningstoreplacingthissumfortheuseofthenext.

Itwasnot, however, a fund large enough to dispensewith theneedof astricteconomy,andasupplementalself-helpfulnessonourpart.

ThetermsinsomeofourNewEnglandcollegesarethoughtfullyarrangedsothatthestudentscanteachforthreeofthewintermonths,andtheresourcesthus gained help out their college expenses. Thus at the same time theyeducate themselves and help to educate others, and they study with thematurityofmindandtheappreciationof thevalueofwhat theyaregaining,resultingfromahabitofmeasuringthemselveswiththeactualneedsoflife.

Thetimewhentheboygoestocollegeisthetimewhenhefeelsmanhoodto begin. He is no longer a boy, but an unfledged, undeveloped man—acreature,halfofthepastandhalfofthefuture.Yeteveryonegiveshimagoodwordoracongratulatoryshakeofthehandonhisentrancetothisnewplateauoflife.ItisatimewhenadviceisplentyasblackberriesinAugust,andoftenheldquiteascheap—butneverthelessayoungfellowmayaswelllookatwhathiselderstellhimatthistime,andseewhathecanmakeofit.

AsIwas"ourminister'sson,"allthevillagethoughtithadsomethingtodowithmygoing. "Hallo,Harry, soyou'vegot intocollege!Thinkyou'llbeassmartamanasyourdad?"saidone."Wa-al,soIhearyou'regoingtocollege.Sticktoitnow.IcouldamadesuthinefI'dahadlarninatyourage,"saidoldJerrySmith,whorungthemeeting-housebell,sawedwood,andtookcareofmiscellaneousgardensforsundrywidowsinthevicinity.

ButthesayingsthatstruckmeasmosttothepurposecamefrommyUncle

Jacob.

Uncle Jacob was my mother's brother, and the doctor not only of ourvillage, but of all the neighborhood for ten miles round. He was a mancelebratedformedicalknowledgethroughtheState,andknownbyhisarticlesinmedicaljournalsfarbeyond.Hemighthaveeasilycommandedawiderandmorelucrativesphereofpracticebygoingtoanyofthelargetownsandcities,butUncleJacobwasaphilosopherandpreferredtoliveinasmallquietwayinaplacewhosescenerysuitedhim,andwherehecouldactpreciselyashefeltdisposed,andcarryoutallhislittlehumorsandpetideaswithoutrubbingagainstconventionalities.

Hehadasecretadorationformymother,whomheregardedasthetopandcrownofallwomanhood,andhealsoenjoyedthesocietyofmyfather,usinghimasasortofwhetstonetosharpenhiswitson.UncleJacobwasachurchmemberingoodstanding,butinthematterofbeliefhewassomewhatlikeahigh-mettled horse in a pasture,—he enjoyed once in awhile having a freeargumentative race with my father all round the theological lot. Away hewouldgoinfullcareer,dodgingdefinitions,doublingandturningwithelasticdexterity, and sometimes ended by leaping over all the fences, with mostastoundingassertions,afterwhichhewouldcalmdown,andgraduallysufferthe theological saddle and bridle to be put on him and go onwith edifyingpaces,apparentlymuchrefreshedbyhismetaphysicalcapers.

UncleJacobwasreportedtohaveawonderfulskillinthehealingcraft.Hecompoundedcertainpillswhichwere stated tohavemostwonderful effects.He was accustomed to exact that, in order fully to develop their medicalproperties, they should be taken after a daily bath, and be followedimmediatelybyabriskwalkofaspecificdurationintheopenair.Thesteadyuseofthesepillshadbeenknowntomakewonderfulchangesinthecasesofconfirmed invalids, a factwhichUncle Jacobused to noticewith a peculiartwinkle in the corner of his eye. It was sometimes whispered that thecompositionofthemwasneithermorenorlessthansimplewhitesugarwithaflavorof someharmlessessence,butupon this subjectmyUncle Jacobwasimpenetrable.Heusedtosay,withtheafore-mentionedwaggishtwinkle,thattheirpreparationwashissecret.

UncleJacobhadalwayshadaspecial favor forme,shownafterhisownodd and original manner. He would take me in his chaise with him whendrivingabouthisbusiness,andkeepmymindonaperpetualstretchwithhisodd questions and droll, suggestive remarks or stories. Therewas a shrewdkeenquality toall thathesaid, thatstimulated likeamental tonic,andnonethe lesssoforastingingflavorofsarcasmandcynicism, thatstirredupandprovokedone'sself-esteem.YetasUncleJacobwascompanionableandlovedalistener,Ithinkhewasnonethelessagreeabletomeforthisslighttouchof

hisclaws.Onelikestofindpowerofanykind—andhewhoshowsthathecanbothscratchandbiteeffectively,ifheholdshistalonsinsheath,comesintimetoberegardedasasortofbenefactorforhisforbearance:andso,thoughIgotmany a shrewdmental nip and gripe frommy Uncle Jacob, I gave on thewholemoreheedtohisopinionthanthatofanybodyelsethatIknew.

FromthetimethatIhadbeendetectedwithmyself-inventedmanuscript,up to the period ofmy going to college, the expression ofmy thoughts bywritinghadalwaysbeenapassionwithme,andfromyear toyearmymindhadbeenbusywith itsowncreations,which itwasasolaceandamusementformetorecord.

Of course there was ever so much crabbed manuscript, and no lessconfused, immature thought. I wrote poems, essays, stories, tragedies, andcomedies. I demonstrated the immortality of the soul. I sustained the futureimmortalityofthesoulsofanimals.Iwrotesonnetsandodes,inwholeorinpartonalmosteverythingthatcouldbementionedincreation.

Mymotheradvisedme tomakeUncleJacobmyliterarymentor,and thebestofmyproductionswerelaidunderhiseye.

"Poortrash!"hewaswonttosay,withhisusualkindlytwinkle."Buttheremustbepoortrashinthebeginning.Wemustalleatourpeckofdirt,andlearntowritesensebywritingnonsense."Thenhewouldpickouthereandtherealine or expression which he assured me was "not bad." Now and then hecondescended to tell me that for a boy of my age, so and so was actuallyhopeful,andthatIshouldmakesomethingoneofthesedays,whichwastomemoreencouragementthanmuchmoredecidedpraisefromanyotherquarter.

"So you are going to college, boy!Well, awaywith you; there's no useadvisingyou;you'lldoasall therestdo. Inoneyearyou'llknowmore thanyour father, yourmother, or I, or all your collegeofficers—in fact, than theLordhimself."

We all notice that hewho is reluctant to praise,whose commendation isscarceandhard-earned,isheforwhosegoodwordeverybodyisfighting;hecomesatlasttobethejudgeintherace.Afterall,thefactwhichUncleJacobcouldnotdisguise, thathehada certaingoodopinionofme, in spiteofhissharp criticisms and scant praises,made him the onewhose dicta on everysubjectwerethemostimportanttome.

I went to him in all the glow of satisfaction and the tremble of self-importance that a boy feels who is taking the first step into the land ofmanhood.

Ihavetheimageofhimnow,ashestoodwithhisbacktothefire,andthenewspaperinhishand,givingmehislastcounsels.Alittlewiry,keen-looking

man,withablue,hawk-likeeye, ahookednose, ahigh forehead, shadowedwithgrizzledhair,andacris-crossofdeeplylinedwrinklesinhisface.

"So you are going to college, boy!Well, awaywith you; there's no useadvisingyou;you'lldoasall therestdo. Inoneyearyou'llknowmore thanyour father, yourmother, or I, or all your collegeofficers—in fact, than theLordhimself.You'll havedoubts about theBible, and thinkyou couldhavemade a better one.You'll think that if theLord had consulted you he couldhavelaidthefoundationsoftheearthbetter,andarrangedthecourseofnaturetomorepurpose.Inshort,you'llbeagod,knowinggoodandevil,andrunningall over creation measuring everybody and everything in your pint cup.There'll be no living with you. But you'll get over it,—it's only the febrilestageofknowledge.Butifyouhaveagoodconstitution,you'llcomethroughwithit."

I humbly suggested to him that I should try to keep clear of the febrilestage;thatforewarnedwasforearmed.

"Oh, tut! tut! youmust go through your fooleries. These are the regulardiseases, the chicken-pox, measles, and mumps of young manhood; you'llhavethemall.Weonlypraythatyoumayhavethemlight,andnotbreakyourconstitutionforallyourlifethrough,bythem.Forinstance,you'llfallinlovewithsomebaby-facedyoungthing,withpinkcheeksandlongeyelashes,andgoodnessonlyknowswhatabominationsofsonnetsyou'llbeguiltyof.Thatisn'tfatal,however.Onlydon'tgetengaged.Takeitasthechicken-pox—keepyourporesopen,anddon'tgetcold,andit'llpassoffandleaveyounonetheworse."

"And she!" said I, indignantly. "You talk as if it was no matter whatbecameofher—"

"What, the baby? Oh, she'll outgrow it, too. The fact is, soberly andseriously,Harry,marriageisthethingthatmakesormarsaman;it'sthegatethroughwhichhegoesupordown,andyoushouldn'tpledgeyourselftoittillyoucome toyour full senses.Lookatyourmother,boy; seewhatawomanmaybe;seewhatshewastoyourfather,whatsheistome,toyou,toeveryone that knows her. Such awoman, to speak reverently, is a pearl of greatprice; amanmightwell sell all he had to buy her. But it isn't that kind ofwomanthatflirtswithcollegeboys.Youdon'tpickupsuchpearlseveryday."

Of course I declared that nothing was further from my thoughts thananythingofthatnature.

"Thefact is,Harry,youcan'taffordfooleries,"saidmyuncle."Youhaveyourownway tomake,andnothing tomake itwithbutyourownheadandhands,andyoumustbeginnow tocount thecostofeverything.Youhavea

healthy, soundbody; see thatyou takecareof it.Godgivesyouabodybutonce.Hedon'ttakecareofitforyou,andwhateverofityoulose,youloseforgood.Many a chap goes into college fresh as you are, and comes outwithweakeyesandcrookedback,yellowcomplexionanddyspepticstomach.Hehasonlyhimselftothankforit.Whenyougettocollegethey'llwantyoutosmoke,andyou'llwantto,justforidlenessandgoodfellowship.Now,beforeyoubegin,justcalculatewhatit'llcostyou.Youcan'tgetagoodcigarundertencents,andyoursmokerwantsthreeaday,attheleast.Theregothirtycentsa day, two dollars and ten cents aweek, or a hundred and nine dollars andtwenty cents ayear.Take thenext tenyears at that rate, andyoucan investoverathousanddollarsintobaccosmoke.Thatthousanddollars,investedinasavings bank, would give a permanent income of sixty dollars a year,—ahandy thing, asyou'll find, just asyouarebeginning life.Now, Iknowyouthinkallthisisprosy;Youareamazinglygiventofiguresofrhetoric,but,afterall,you'vegottogetoninaworldwherethingsgobytherulesofarithmetic."

"Well, uncle," I said, a littlenettled, "Ipledgeyoumyword that Iwon'tsmokeordrink.Ineverhavedoneeither,andIdon'tknowwhyIshould."

"Goodforyou!yourhandonthat,myboy.Youdon'tneedeithertobaccoorspiritsanymore thanyouneedwater inyourshoes.There'snodanger indoingwithoutthem,andgreatdangerindoingwiththem;solet'slookonthatassettled.

"Now,astotherest.Youhaveafacultyforstringingwordstogether,andahankeringafterit,thatmaymakeorspoilyou.Manyafellowcomestonaughtbecausehecanstringprettyphrasesandturnagoodlineofpoetry.Hegetsthenotion that he's to be a poet, or orator, or geniusof some sort, andneglectsstudy.Now,Harry,rememberthatanemptybagcan'tstandupright;andthatifyouareever tobeawriteryoumusthavesomething tosay,and thatyou'vegottodigforknowledgeasforhiddentreasure.Ageniusforhardworkisthebestkindofgenius.Lookatgreatwriters,andseehowmanyhadit.WhatastudentMiltonwas, andGoethe!Great fellows, those!—like trees that growoutinapasturelot,withbranchesallround.Compositionisthefloweringoutofaman'smind.Whenhehasmadegrowth,all studiesandall learning,allthatmakeswoodyfibre,gointoit.Now,studybooks;observenature;practice.If youmake a good firmmental growth, I hope to see some blossoms andfruitsfromitoneofthesedays.Sogoyourways,andGodblessyou!"

ThelastwordsweresaidasUncleJacobslippedintomyhandanenvelope,containingasumofmoney."You'llneed it,"hesaid,"to furnishyour room;and hark'e! if you get into any troubles that you don'twant to burden yourmotherwith,cometome."

Therewaswarmthinthegripwithwhichtheselastwordsweresaid,anda

sortofmistymoisturecameoverhiskeenblueeye,—littlesignswhichmeantasmuch fromhis shrewdand reticentnatureasacaressoranexpressionoftendernessmightfromanother.

My mother's last words, after hours of talk over the evening fire, werethese:"Iwantyoutobeagoodman.Agreatmanyhavetriedtobegreatmen,andfailed;butnobodyeversincerelytriedtobeagoodman,andfailed."

Isupposeitisaboutthehappiesterainayoungfellow'slife,whenhegoestocollegeforthefirsttime.

The future is all a land of blue distantmists and shadows, radiant as anItalian landscape.The boundaries between the possible and the not possibleare so charmingly vague! There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbowforeverwaitingforeachnewcomer.Generationshavenotexhaustedit!

DeBalzacsaid,ofwritinghisnovels, that thedreamingoutof themwasaltogether the best of it. "To imagine," he said, "is to smoke enchantedcigarettes;tobringoutone'simaginationsintowords,—thatiswork!"

The same may be said of the romance of one's life. The dream-life isbeautiful,buttherenderingintorealityquiteanotherthing.

I believe every boy who has a good father andmother, goes to collegemeaning,inageneralway,tobeagoodfellow.Hewillnotdisappointthem.—No!athousandtimes,no!Inthemain,hewillbeagoodboy,—notthatheisgoingquitetowalkaccordingtothecounselsofhiselders.Heisnotgoingtofalloveranyprecipices—nothe—butheisgoingtowalkwarilyandadvisedlyalongtheedgeof them,and takeadispassionatesurveyof theprospect,andgatherafewbotanicalspecimenshereandthere.Itmightbedangerousforaless steadyhead thanhis;butheunderstandshimself, andwith regard toallthings he says, "We shall see." The world is full of possibilities and openquestions.Upsail,andaway;letustestthem!

AsIscaledthemountainsanddescendedthevalleysonmywaytocollege,IthoughtoverallthatmymotherandUncleJacobhadsaidtome,andhadmyownopinionofit.

OfcourseIwasnotthepersontoerrinthewayshehadsuggested.Iwasnot tobe thedupeofaboyandgirl flirtation.Mystandardofmanhoodwastooexalted,Ireflected,andIthoughtwithcomplacencyhowlittleUncleJacobknewofme.

To be sure, it is a curious kind of a thought to a young man, thatsomewhere in thisworld,unknown tohim,andasyetunknowinghim, livesthe woman that is to be his earthly fate,—to affect, for good or evil, hisdestiny.

WehaveallreadtheprettystoryaboutthePrincessofChinaandtheyoungPrince of Tartary,whom a fairy and genius in a freak of caprice showed toeachotherinanenchantedsleep,andthenwhiskedawayagain,leavingthemtoyearsofvainpursuitandwanderings.Suchistheidealimageofsomebody,whomustexistsomewhere,andistobefoundsometime,andwhenfound,istobeours.

"UncleJacobisallrightinthemain,"Isaid;"butifIshouldmeetthetruewoman even inmy college days, why that, indeed, would be quite anotherthing."

CHAPTERVI.

MYDREAM-WIFE

All things prospered with me in my college life. I had a sunny roomcommandinga fineprospect,anduncleJacob'sparting liberalityenabledmetofurnishitcommodiously.

Iboughtthefurnitureofadepartingsenioratareducedprice,andfeltquitethe spirit of a householder in my possessions. I was well prepared on mystudiesanddidnotfindmytasksdifficult.

MystockofinteriorgarnishmentincludedseveralFrenchlithographs,forthe most part of female heads, looking up, with very dark bright eyes, orlookingdown,withverylongdarkeyelashes.

Theseheadsofdream-womenare,afterall,nottobelaughedat;theyshowtheyearningforwomanlyinfluencesandwomanlysocietywhichfollowstheyoungmaninhisenforcedmonasticseclusionfromallfamilylifeandfamilyatmosphere.TheselittlefancifulFrenchlithographs,generally,arechosenforquiteotherthanartisticreasons.Ifwesearchintoitweshallfindthatoneisselected because it is like sister "Nell," and another puts one in mind of"Bessie,"andthenagain,thereisanother"likeagirlIusedtoknow."Nowandthenoneofthemhassuchapiquant,provokingairofindividuality,thatoneissure itmusthavebeen sketched fromnature.Some teasing, coaxing, "don't-care-what-you-think" sort of a sprite,must havewreathed poppies and bluecorn-flowersjustsoinherhair,andlookedgaydefianceattheartistwhodrewit. There was just such a saucy, spirited gipsy over my mantel piece, whoseemedtodefymetofindherifIsearchedtheworldover—withwhomIheldsometimesairycolloquies—notintheleastwasshelikemydream-wife,butIlikedherforallthat,andthoughtIwould"givesomething"toknowwhatshewouldhavetosaytome,justforthecuriosityofthething.

The college was in a little village, and there was no particular amitybetweenthetownspeopleandthestudents.Ibelieveitistheunderstandinginsuch cases, that college students are tobe regarded and treated as a tribeofBedouinArabs,whosehandisagainsteveryman,andtheyintheirturnarenotbackwardtomakegoodthecharacter.Publicopinionshutsthemuptogether—they are a statewithin a state—with a public sentiment, laws,manners, andmodesof thinkingof theirown. It isa state, too,withoutwomen.Whenwethinkofthis,andrememberthatallthisexperienceisgonethroughinthemostgaseousandyeastyperiodofhumanexistence,wenolongerwonderthatthereare college rows and scrapes, that all sort of grotesque capers becomehereditary and traditional; that an apple-cart occasionally appears on top ofone of the steeples, that cannon balls are rolled surreptitiously down thecollegestairs,andthattutors'doorsaremysteriouslyfoundlockedatrecitationhours.One simplywonders that the roof is not blownoff, and thewindowsout,bythecombinedexcitabilityofsomanyfermentingnatures.

There isa tendencynow insociety toopen thecollegecourseequally towomen—tocontinue throughcollege life that interactionof the comparativeinfluenceofthesexeswhichisbeguninthefamily.

ToacertainextentthisexperimenthasbeenalwaysfavorablytriedintheNewEnglandruralAcademies,whereyoungmenarefittedforcollegeinthesameclassesandstudieswithwomen.

In these time-honored institutions, young women have kept step withyoung men in the daily pursuit of science, not only without disorder orunseemly scandal, but with manifestly more quietness and refinement ofmannerthanobtainsininstitutionswherefemaleassociationceasesaltogether.The presence of a couple of dozen of well-bred ladies in the lecture andrecitationroomsofacollegewouldprobablybeapreventiveofmanyoftheunseemlyandclumsyjokeswherewithithasbeencustomarytodiversifythepathsofscience,totheafflictionofthesoulsofprofessors.

Butforusboys,therewasnogospelofwomanhoodexceptwhatwastobegot from the letters of mothers and sisters, and such imperfect and flittingacquaintanceaswecouldpickup in the streetswith thegirlsof thevillage.Now though there might be profit, could young men and women see eachotherdailyundertheresponsibilityofseriousbusiness,keepingstepwithoneanotherinhigherstudies,yetitbynomeansfollowsthatthiskindofflittingglimpse-like acquaintance, formedmerely in the exchange of a few outsidesuperficialities, can have any particularly good effect. No element of trueworthy friendship, of sober appreciation, ormanly orwomanly good sense,generally enters into these girl-and-boy flirtations, which are the onlysubstitute for family association during the barren years of student life.Thestudentswerenotofteninvitedintofamilies,andthosewhogainedacharacter

asladies'menwerenotfavorablylookeduponbyourelders.Nowandthenbyrare and exceptional good luck a college student ismade at home in somegoodfamily,wherethereisanicekindmotherandthewholesomeatmosphereofhumanlife;or,heformstheacquaintanceofsomewoman,olderandwiserthanhimself,whocantalkwithhimonallthemultitudeoftopicshiscollegestudies suggest. But such cases are only exceptions. In general there is nochoicebetweenflirtationandmonasticisolation.

Formypart,Iposedmyselfontheexemplaryplatform,andrememberingmy uncle Jacob's advice, contemplated life with the grim rigidity of aphilosopher.Iwasgoingtohavenotrifling,andsurveyedthegirlsatchurch,on Sunday,with a distant and severe air—as gay creatures of an hour,whocouldholdnoplace inmyseriousmeditations.PlatoorAristotle, inperson,could not have contemplated life and society from amore serene height ofcomposure.Iwasfavorablyknownbymyteachers,andheldrankattheheadofmyclass,andwasstigmatizedasa"dig,"byfriskyyounggentlemenwhoenjoyedrollingcannonballsdownstairs—takingthetongueoutofthechapelbell—greasingtheseats,andotherthread-barecollegejokes,whichtheyhadnotgeniusenoughtovary,soastogivethemaspiceoforiginality.

ButonebrightJuneSunday—justoneofthosedaysthatseemmadetoputallone'sphilosophyintoconfusion,whenapple-blossomswereburstingtheirpinkshells,androbinssinging,andleavestwitteringandtalkingtoeachotherinundertones,therecametomeagreatrevelation.

How innocently I brushedmy hair and tiedmy neck tie, on that fatefulmorning,contemplatingmygrowingmoustacheandwhiskershopefullyinthesmall square of looking-glasswhich served forme these useful purposes ofself-knowledge. I looked atmy lineaments as those of a free young junior,without fear and without anxiety, without even an incipient inquiry whatanybody else would think of them—least of all any woman—and marchedforthobedientlyandtookmywontedseatinthatgalleryofthevillagechurchwhichwasassignedtothecollegestudentsofCongregationaldescent;where,likesomanysheepinapen,wejoinedintheservicesofthecommonsheep-fold.

I suppose there is moral profit even in the decent self-denial of suchweekly recurring religious exercises. To be forced to a certain period ofsilence, order, quiet, and to have therein a possibility and a suggestion ofcommunion with a Higher Power, and an out-look into immortality, issomethingnottobeundervaluedineducation,andjustifiesthestringencywithwhichourNewEnglandcollegespreserveandguardthispartoftheirrégime.

Butitwastobeconfessedinourcase,thatthenumberwhoreallyseemedto have any spiritual participation or sympathy in the great purposes of the

exercises,was not amajority.A general, dull decency of demeanorwas themostfrequentattainment,andsuchsmall recreationswere invogueascouldbe pursued without drawing the attention of themonitors. There was sometelegraphy of eyes between the girls of the village and some of the moresociety-loving fellows, who had cultivated intimacies in that quarter; thereweresomenovels,stealthilyintroducedandartfullyconcealedandreadbytheowner, while his head, resting on the seat before him, seemed bowed indevotion; and some artistic exercises in sketching caricatures on the part ofothers.Formyownpart,havingbeentrainedreligiously,Igavestrictoutwardanddecorousattention;butthefactwasthatmymindgenerallysailedoffonsomecloudoffancy,andwanderedthroughdream-land,sothatnotawordofanything present reached my ear. This habit of reverie and castle-building,repressedalltheweekbytheseverenecessityofdefinitetasks,cameuponmeSundays as Bunyan describes the hot, sleepy atmosphere of the enchantedground.

Our pastor was a good man, who wrote a kind of smooth, elegant,unexceptionableEnglish;whosemeasured cadences and easy flow,were, tousethescripturelanguage,asa"verylovelysongofonethathathapleasantvoice, and can play sweetly upon an instrument." I heard him as one hearsmurmurs and voices through one's sleep, while my spirit went everywhereunder the sun. I traveled in foreign lands, I saw pictures, cathedrals; I hadthrilling adventures and hair-breadth escapes; formed strange and excitingacquaintances;inshort,wastheheroofaromance,whosesceneschangedasairilyandeasilyasthesunsetcloudsofevening.SoreallyandsovividlydidthissupposititiouslifeexcitemethatIhaveactuallyfoundmyselfwithtearsinmyeyesthroughthepathosoftheseunsubstantialvisions.

Itwasinoneofthelullingpausesofsucharomance,whileIyetheardthevoiceofourgoodpastorproving that "selfishnesswas the essenceofmoralevil,"thatIliftedupmyeyes,andbecameforthefirsttimeconsciousofanewface,inthethirdpewofthebroadaislebelowme.Itwasanewone—onethatcertainlyhadneverbeentherebefore,andwasaltogetherjustthefacetoenterintothemostetherealperceptionsofmyvisionarylife.Istartedwithasortofawakening thrill, such, perhaps, asAdamhadwhenhewoke fromhis sleepandsawhisEve.There,tobesure,wasthefaceofmydream-wife,incarnateand visible! That face, so refined, so spiritual, so pure! a baptized,ChristianizedGreek face!AcrossbetweenVenusand theVirginMary!Theoutlines were purely, severely classical, such as I have since seen in thePsycheoftheNaplesgallery;butthelarge,tremulous,patheticeyesredeemedthemfromstatuesquecoldness.Theywereeyesthatthought,thatlookeddeepintolife,death,andeternity—soIsaidtomyselfasIgazeddownonher,andheldmybreathwithakindof religiousawe.Thevisionwasall inwhite,assuchvisionsmust be, and thegauzy crapebonnetwith its flowersuponher

head,dissolvedundermyeyesintoasortofsacredaureole,suchassurroundsthe heads of saints. I saw her, and only her, through the remaining hour ofchurch. I studied every movement. The radiant eyes were fixed upon theminister, andwithanexpressionso sadlyearnest that Iblushed formyownwanderingthoughts,andbegantoendeavortoturnmymindtothetruthsIwashearingtold;but,afterall,Ithoughtmoreaboutherthanthediscourse.Isawhersearchthehymn-bookforthehymn,andwishedthatIweredowntheretofinditforher.Isawherstandingup,andlookingdownatherhymnswiththewonderfuleyesveiledbylonglashes,andsinging—

"Callmeawayfromearthandsense,

Onesovereignwordcandrawmethence,

Iwouldobeythevoicedivine,

Andallinferiorjoysresign."

Howmiserably gross, andworldly, and unworthy I felt at thatmoment!How I longed for an ideal, superhuman spirituality,—something that shouldmakemeworthytotouchthehemofhergarment!

When the blessingwas pronounced, I hastened down and stoodwhere Imight see her as she passed out of church. I had not been alone in mydiscoveries:therehadbeendozensofothersthatsawthesamestar,andtherewerewhisperings, and elbowings, and consultings, as a knot of juniors andseniorsstationedthemselvesasIhaddone,toseeherpassout.

As shepassedby she raisedher eyes slowly, andas itwerebyaccident,andtheyfelllikearayofsunlightononeofournumber,—JimFellows—whoimmediatelybowed.Aslightpink flush rose inhercheeksas shegracefullyreturnedthesalutation,andpassedon.Jimwasinstantlythegreatmanofthehour;heknewher,itseems.

"It'sMissEllery,ofPortland.Haven'tyouheardofher?"hesaid,withanairofimportance."She'sthegreatbeautyofPortland.Theycallherthe'littledivinity.' Met her last summer, at Mount Desert," he added, with thecomfortableairofamaninpossessionoftheleadingfactofthehour—thefactaboutwhicheverybodyelseisinquiring.

Iwalkedhomebehindherinakindoftrance,disdainingtojoininwhatIthoughttheveryflippantandunworthycommentsoftheboys.IsawthelastwaveofherwhitegarmentsasshepassedbetweenthetwoevergreensinfrontofdeaconBrown'ssquarewhitehouse,whichatthatmomentbecametomeamysteriousandglorifiedshrine;theretheangelheldhertabernacle.

At thismomentImetMissDothaBrown, thedeacon'seldestdaughter,arosy-cheeked, pleasant-faced girl, towhom I had been introduced theweek

before.Instantlyshewasclotheduponwithanewinterest inmyeyes,andIsalutedherwithempressement; ifnot therose,sheat leastwas theclay thatwas imbibing the perfume of the rose; and I don't doubt thatmy delight atseeingherassumedtheappearanceofpersonaladmiration."WhatacharmingSunday," I said, with emphasis. "Perfectly charming," said Miss Brown,sympathetically.

"Youhaveaninterestingyoungfriendstayingwithyou,Iobserve,"saidI.

"Who,MissEllery?oh,yes.Oh!Mr.Henderson,sheisthesweetestgirl!"saidDotha,witheffusion.

I didn't doubt it, and listened eagerly to her praises, andwas grateful toMissBrownforthewarminvitationto"call"whichfollowed.MissEllerywastomakethemalongvisit,andshewouldbesohappytointroduceme.

That eveningMissEllerywas a topic of excited discussion in our entry,and Jim Fellows plumed himself largely on his Mount Desert experiences,whichherelatedinawaytoproducetheimpressionthathehadbeenregardedwithafavorableeyebythedivinity.

Iwasinastateofsilentindignation,athim,atalltherestoftheboys,ateverybodyingeneral,beingfullypersuadedthattheywereutterlyincapableofunderstandingorappreciatingthiswonderfulcreature.

"Hal,whydon'tyoutalk?"saidoneofthemtome,whenIhadsatsilent,pretendingtoreadforalongtime;"Whatdoyouthinkofher?"

"Oh, I'mno ladies'man,asyouallknow," I said,evasively,andactuallypretendednottohaveremarkedMissElleryexceptinacursorymanner.

Then followed a periodofweeks andmonths,when that one imagewasnever for a moment out of my thoughts. By a strange law of our being, acertain idea can accompany us everywhere, not stopping or interrupting thecourseof the thought, butgoingon in a sort of shadowywaywith it, as aninvisiblepresence.

Themanorwomanwhocherishesanidealisalwaysliabletothisaccident,that the spiritual imageoftendescends like amantle, and invests someveryordinaryperson,whois,forthetimebeing,transfigured,—"awomanclothedwiththesun,andwiththemoonunderherfeet."Itisnotwhatthereisintheperson,butwhatthereisinus,thatgivesthispassageinlifeitscriticalpower.Itwouldseemasiftherewereinsomemen,andsomewomen,preparationforagrandinteriorilluminationandpassion,likethathoardofmysticalgumsandspices which the phenix was fabled to prepare for its funeral pile; all theaspirationandpoetryandromance,theupheavaltowardaninfiniteandeternalgood, a divine purity and rest, may be enkindled by the touch of a very

ordinary and earthly hand, and, burning itself out, leave only cold ashes ofexperience.

MissEllerywasawell-bredyounglady,ofdecorousandproperdemeanor,of careful religious education, of no particular strength either of mind oremotion, good tempered, andwith an instinctive approbativeness thatmadeher desirous to please every body,which created for her the reputation thatMiss Brown expressed in calling her "a sweet girl." She was always mostagreeable to those with whom she was thrown, and for the time beingappearedtobe,andwassincerelyinterestedinthem;buthermindwaslikeawell-polishedlooking-glass,retainingnotatraceofanythingabsentordistant.

She was gifted by nature with wonderful beauty, and beauty of thatpeculiar style that stirs the senses of the poetical and the ideal; her gentleapprobativeness,and thegraceful facilityofhermanner,weresuchasnotatleast to destroy the visions which her beauty created. In a quiet way sheenjoyedbeingadored—madeloveto,butsheneveroversteppedtheboundsofstrictpropriety.She receivedmewithgraciousness, and I really think foundsomething in my society which was agreeably stimulating to her. I wassomewhatoutofthecommontrackofheradorers;myardorandenthusiasmgaveheranewemotion.Iwrotepoemstoher,whichshereadwithagracefulpensiveness and laid awayamongher trophies inherprivatewriting-desk. Icalledhermystar,myinspiration,mylight,andshebeameddownonmewithapensivepurity. "Yes, shewasdelighted tohaveme readTennyson toher,"andmanyanhourwhen I shouldhavebeenstudying, Iwas lounging in thelittle front parlor of the Brown house, fancying myself Sir Galahad, andreadingwithemotion,howhis"bladewasstrong,becausehisheartwaspure;"andMissEllerymurmured"Howlovely!"andIwasinparadise.

And then there came wonderful moonlight evenings—evenings wheneveryleafstirringhadapenciledreproductionflickeringinlightandshadeonthe turf;andwewalked togetherunderarchesofelmtrees,andI talkedandquotedpoetry;andshelistenedandassentedinthesweetestmannerpossible.Allmyhopes,myplans,mydreams,myspeculations,myphilosophies,cameouttosunthemselvesunderthemagicofthoselustrouseyes.Herrepliesandutterances were greatly in disproportion to mine; but I received them, andmade much of them, as of old the priests of Delphi did with those of theinspired maiden. There must be deep meaning in it all, because she was apriestess;andIwasnotbackwardtosupplyit.

I have often endeavored to analyze the sources of the illusion cast overmen by such characters as that ofMiss Ellery. In their case the instinctiveaction of approbativeness assumes the semblance of human sympathy, andbringsthemforthetimebeingintothelife-sphere,andundertheinfluence,ofanypersonwhomtheywishtoplease,sothattheywithatemporarysincerity

reflectbacktheideasandfeelingsofothers.Thereisjustthesameillusivesortof charm in this reflection of our own thoughts and emotions from anothermind, as there is in the reflection of objects in a placid lake. There is nowarmth andno reality to it; andyet, for the timebeing, it is often themostentrancing thing in theworld, and gives back to you the glowof your ownheart,thefervorofyourimagination,andeveneverylittlefloweroffancy,andtwigoffeeling,withawonderfulfaithfulnessofreproduction.

Itisnotrealsympathy,because,liketheimageinthelake,itisonlytherewhenyouarepresent;andwhenyouareaway,reflectswithequalfacilitythenextcomer.

But men always have been, and to the end of time always will be,fascinatedbysuchwomen,andwill suppose thismere reflectingpowerofahighly polished surface to be the sympathetic response for which the heartlongs.

SoIhadnodoubtthatMissEllerywasawomanofallsortsofhighliterarytastes andmoral heroisms, for therewas nothing so high or so deep in theaspirationsofpoetsorsagesinmyreadingstoher,thatcouldnotbereflectedandglorifiedinthosewonderfuleyes.

Neither are suchwomen hypocrites, as they are often called.What theygiveback toyou is for the timebeingasincerereflection,and if there isnodepthtoit,ifitpassesawaywiththepassinghour,itissimplybecausetheirnatures—smooth,shallow,andcold—havenodeeperpowerofretention.

The fault lies in expectingmore of a thing than there is in its nature—afaultweshallmoreorlessallgooncommittingtillthegreatcurtainfalls.

I wrote all about her to my mother; and received the usual cautionarymaternalepistle,remindingmethatIwasyetfarfromthatgoalinlifewhenIwaswarranted inaskinganywoman tobemywife; andsuggesting thatmytastemightlaterwithmaturity;warningmeagainstprematurecommitments—inshort,sayingallthatgood,anxiousmothersusuallysaytoyoungjuniorsincollegeinsimilarcircumstances.

Inreply,ItoldmymotherthatIhadfoundawomanworthythedevotionof a life—a woman who would be inspiration and motive and reward. Iextolledherpurityandsaintliness.Itoldmymotherthatshewasformingandleadingmetoallthatwasholyandnoble.InshortImeanttowinherthoughthesevenlaborsofHerculesweretobeperformedseventimesovertoreachher.

Now the fact is, mymothermight have saved herself her anxiety.MissEllerywasperfectlywilling tobemyguiding star,my inspiration,my light,withinreasonablelimits,whilemakingavisitinanotherwiseratherdulltown.

She liked to be read to; she liked the consciousness of being incessantlyadmired, andwould havemade a very good image for someChurch of thePerpetualAdoration;butafterall,MissEllerywasasincapableofforminganineligible engagement ofmarriagewith a poor college student, as themostsensibleandcollectedofWalterScott'sheroines.

Lookingbackuponthispartofmylife,IcanpitymyselfwithasquietanddispassionateaperceptionasifIwereathirdperson.Theillusion,forthetimebeing, was so real, the feelings called up by it so honest and earnest andsacred;andsupposingtherehadbeenatangiblerealitytoit—whatmightnotsuchawomanhavemadeofme,orofanyman?

And suppose it pleasedGod to send forth an army of suchwomen, as Ithoughthertobe,amongthelostchildrenofmen,womenarmednotonlywiththeoutwardandvisiblesignofbeauty,butwiththatinwardandspiritualgracewhichbeauty typifies,onemightbelieve that thegoldenagewould soonbebackuponus.

MissElleryadroitlyavoidedalloccasionsofanycriticalcommitmentonmypartoronher's.Womensoonlearnavastamountoftactanddiplomacyonthatsubject:butshegavemetounderstandthatIwaspeculiarlycongenialtoher, and encouraged the outflow of all my romance with the gentlestatmosphereofindulgence.Tobesure,Iwasnottheonlyonewhomshethusheldwithbondsofgoldengossamer.Shereignedaqueen,andhadacourtather feet, and the deacon's square, white, prosaic house bristled with theactivityandvivacityofMissEllery'sadorers.

Among them. Will Marshall was especially distinguished. Will was asenior, immenselyrich,good-naturedas the longestsummerday is long,butsoidleandutterlyincapableofculturethatonlytheliberalityoftheextrasumpaid toaprofessorwhoheldhiminguardianshipsecuredhisstay incollegeclasses.Ithasbeenmyobservationthatmoneywillsecureagreatvarietyofthingsinthislowerworld,andamongothers,willcarryaverystupidfellowthroughcollege.

Willwasasortoffavoritewithusall.Hisgoodnaturewaswithoutlimit,andhescatteredhismoneywithafreehand,andsowegenerallyspokeofhimas"PoorWill;"anicefellow,ifhecouldn'twriteadecentnote,andblunderedthroughallhisrecitations.

Will laid himself, so to speak, at Miss Ellery's feet. He was flush ofbouquets and confectionery. He caused the village livery stable to importforthwithaturnoutworthytobeacarofVenusherself.

Isawall this,butitneverenteredmyheadthatMissEllerywouldcastamoment's thought other than those of the gentlest womanly compassion on

poorWillMarshall.

Thetimeofthesummervacationdrewnigh,andwiththecloseofthetermclosedthevisionofmyidyllicexperienceswithMissEllery.Tothelast,shewassogentleandeasytobeentreated.Herlovelyeyescastonmesuchbrightencouraging glances; and she accorded me a farewell moonlight ramble,whereinIwalkednotonearth,butintheseventhheavenoffelicity.Ofcoursetherewasnothingdefinite.ItoldherthatIwasapoorsoldieroffortune,butmightIonlywearhernameinmybosom,itwouldbeasacredtalisman,andgivestrength tomyarm,andshesighed,and looked lovely,andshedidnotsaymenay.

Iwent home tomymother, andwearied thatmuch-enduringwoman, allthrough the vacation,with the hot and cold fits ofmy fever.Blessed souls!thesemothers,whobearandwatchandreartherestlesscreatures,whobyandby come to themwith the very heart gone out of them for love of anotherwoman—someidlegirl,perhaps,thatneverknewwhatitwaseithertoloveorcare,andthatplayswithheartsaskittensdowithpinballs!

IwrotetoMissElleryletterslong,overflowing,andgotbacklittleneatly-wordednotes on scentedpaper, speaking in a generalwayof the charmsoffriendship.

But the first news thatmetme onmy return to college brokemy soap-bubbleatonetouch.

"ItoldherthatIwasapoorsoldieroffortune,butmightIonlywearhername inmybosom, itwould be a sacred talisman, and give strength tomyarm;andshesighedandlookedlovely,andshedidnotsaymenay."

"Hurrah!Hal—whodoyouguessisengaged?"

"Idon'tknow."

"Guess."

"Icouldn'tguess."

"Why,MissEllery—engagedtoBillMarshall."

Alnaschar,intheArabiantale,couldnothavebeenmoreastonishedwhenhis basket of glass-ware fell in glittering nothingness. I stood stupid withastonishment.

"SheengagedtoWillMarshall!—why,boys,he'safool!"

"But you see he's rich.Oh, it's all arranged; they are to bemarried nextmonth,andgotoEuropefortheirweddingtour,"saidJimFellows.

Andsomyidolfellfromitspedestal—andmyfirstdreamdissolved.

CHAPTERVII.

THEVALLEYOFHUMILIATION.

MissEllerywas sufficientlymistressofherself, andof circumstances, tocloseourlittlepastoralinthemostgracefulandamiablemannerpossible.

Ireceivedabeautifulrose-scentednotefromher,sayingthattheverykindinterest in her happiness which I always had expressed, and the extremelypleasant friendship which had arisen between us, made her desirous ofinforming me, &c., &c. Thereupon followed the announcement of herengagement,terminatingwiththeassurancethatwhatevernewtiesshemightform, or scenes she might visit, she should ever cherish a pleasantremembranceofthedelightfulhoursspentbeneaththeelmsofX.,andindulgethekindestwishesformyfuturesuccessandhappiness.

I, of course, crushed the rose-scented missive in my hand, in the mostapproved tragical style, and felt that I had been deceived, betrayed andundone.Ipassedforthwithintothatcynicalstateofyoungmanhood,inwhichone learns for the first time what a mere unimportant drop his own mostterribly earnest and excited feelings may be in the tumbling ocean of theexistingworld.

Thisisavalleyofhumiliation,whichlies,inverymanycases,justaday'swalkbeyondthepalace,beautifulwithallitsfascinations.

Themoralgeographer,JohnBunyan, towhomweare indebtedformuchwholesomeinformation,tellsusthatwhileitisextremelydifficulttodescendgracefullyintothisvalley,andpilgrimsgenerallyaccomplishitattheexpenseof many a sore trip and stumble, yet when once they are fairly down, itpresentsmanyadvantagesofclimateandsoilnototherwherefound.

The shivering to pieces of the first ideal, while it breaks ruthlessly andscattersmuchthatisreallyandhonestlygoodandworthy,breaksupnolessacertain stock of unconscious self conceit, which young people are none theworseforhavinglessened.

Thevery assumption, so common in the earlydaysof life, thatwehavefeelings of a peculiar sacredness above the comprehension of the commonherd,andforwhichonlytheselectestsympathyispossible,isonesavoringalittletoomuchoftheunregeneratenaturalman,tobesafelyletalonetogrowandthrive.

Natures,inparticular,whereidealityislargelyintheascendant,areaptto

beginlifewiththeschemeofbuildingahighandthickstonewallofreticencearoundthemselves,andenthroningthereinanidol,whoseritesandservicearetobeperformedwithacontemptuousindifferencetoalltherestofmankind.

When this idol is suddenly disenchanted by some stroke of inevitablereality,andwediscernthattheimagewhichwehadsupposedtobetheshrineofadivinity,isonlyaveryearthlydoll,stuffedwithsaw-dust,one'spinnaclesandbattlements—thewholetempleinshort,thatwehavepridedourselveson,comestumblingdownaboutuslikethewallsofJericho,notwithoutacertainsenseoftheridiculous.Though,likeotherafflictions,thisisnotforthepresentjoyous, still the space thus cleared in our mind may be so cultivated asafterwardstobringforthpeaceablefruitsofrighteousness.

Inmycase,myidolwasutterlydefacedanddestroyedinmyeyes,becauseI could not conceal from myself that she was making a marriage whollywithouttheoneelementthataboveallothersmarriagerequires.

MissEllerywasperfectlywellawareofthementalinferiorityofpoorBillMarshall, andhad listenedunreprovingly to thehalf-contemptuouspitywithwhich it was customary among us to speak of him. I remembered howpatronizinglyIhadoftentalkedofhimtoher,"Reallynotabadfellow—onlya little weak, you see;" and the pretty, graceful drollery in her eyes. Irememberedthingsthatthesesameeyeshadlookedatme,whenheblunderedandmiscalledwordsinconversation,andathousandsayingsandintimations,eachbyitselfindefiniteastheboundarybetweentwotintsoftherainbow,bywhichsheshowedasuperiorsenseofpleasureinmyconversationandsociety.

Andwasallthisactingandinsincerity?Ithoughtnot.IwasandamfullyconvincedthathadIonlybeenpossessedofthewealthofBillMarshall,MissEllerywouldinfinitelyhavepreferredmeasalifecompanion;anditwasnoveryseriousamountofyouthfulvanitytoimaginethatIshouldhaveprovedamore entertainingone. I can easily imagine that shemade thedecisionwithsome gentle regret at first,—regret dried up like morning dew in the fullsunlightofweddingdiamonds,andcapableofbeingputcompletely tosleepuponacouchofcashmereshawls.

With what indignant bitterness did I listen to all the details of theimpendingwedding from fluent JimFellows,who, being fromPortland andwellpostedinallthegossipofthecircleinwhichshemoved,enlightenedourentrywithdailyandweeklybulletinsofthegrandeurandsplendorsthatwerebeing,andtobe.

"Boys, only think! Her wedding present from him is a set of diamondsvaluedattwenty-fivethousanddollars.BobRiverssawthemonexhibitionatTiffany's.Thenshehasthreeofthemostsplendidcashmereshawlsthateverwere imported intoMaine.CaptainSautellegot themfromanIndianPrince,

andthere'snosayingwhattheywouldhavecostatusualrates.ItellyouBillisgoing it instyle,and theyaregoing tobemarriedwithdrumsand trumpets,cymbalsanddances;suchaweddingaswillmakeoldPortlandstare;andthenofftheyaregoingtotravelnoendoftimeinEurope,andseeallthekingdomsoftheworld,andthegloryofthem."

Now, I supposenoneofusdoubted that couldMissElleryhave attainedthediamonds and the cashmeres and the fortune,with all its possibilities ofluxury and self-indulgence, without the addition of the husband, nothingwouldhavebeenwantingtocompletehergoodfortune;butitisaconditioninthewayof awoman'smaking a fortune bymarriage, as itwaswithFaust'scompact with an unmentionable party, that it can only be ratified by thesacrifice of herself—herself, and for life! A sacrifice most awful and holywhen made in pure love, and most fearful when made for any otherconsideration. The fact that Miss Ellery could make it was immediate andcompletedisenchantmenttome.

Mine is not, I suppose, the only case where the ideal which has beenformed under the brooding influence of a noble mother is shattered by thehandofawoman.Somewoman,armedwiththesacramentalpowerofbeauty,enkindlesthehighestmanlinessoftheyouth,andis,inhiseyes,theincarnateformof purity and unworldly virtue, the high prize and incitement to valor,patience,constancyandcourage,inthegreatlife-battle.

Butshesellsherselfbeforehiseyes,fordiamondsandlaces,andtrinketsandperfumes;forthelibertyofwalkingonsoftcarpetsandsingingingildedcages; and all the world laughs at his simplicity in supposing that, a fairchance given, anywomanwould ever do otherwise. Is not beautywoman'scapitalintrade,thepriceputintoherhandtogetwhateversheneeds;andarenotthemostbeautiful,asamatterofcourse,destinedprizesoftherichest?

MissEllery'smarriagewastomeagreatawakening,acomingoutofalifeofpureideasandsentimentintooneofexternalrealities.Hitherto,Ihadlivedonlywithpeopleallwhosemeasuresandvaluationshadbeenthoserelatingtothe character—the intellect and the heart. Never inmy father's house had Iheard the gaining of money spoken of as success in life, except as far asmoney was needed to advance education, and education was a means fordoinggood.Myfatherhadhiszeal,hisearnestness,hisexultations,but theyall related to things to be done in his life-work; the saving of souls, theconversion of sinners, the gathering of churches, the repression ofintemperance and immorality, the advancement of education. My elderbrothers had successfully entered the ministry under his influence, and incounselswiththemwheretosettle,Ihadneverheardthequestionofsalaryorworldly support even discussed. The first, the only question I ever heardconsidered,wasWhatworkwasneeded tobedone,andwhat fitness for the

doingofit;takingforgrantedtherecord,thatwheretheKingdomofGodanditsrighteousnesswerefirstsought,allthingswouldbeadded.

Thusallmyvisionsof future lifehad in themsomethingof the innocentverdancy of the golden age, when noble men strove for the favor of fairwomen, by pureness, by knowledge, by heroism,—and the bravest won thecrownfromthehandofthemostbeautiful.

And suddenly to my awakened eyes the whole rushing cavalcade offashionable life swept by, bearing my princess, amid waving feathers andflashingjewelsanddazzlingrobesandmerrylaughsandjests,leavingmebytheway-sidedazedandcoveredwithdust,toplodonalone.

NowfirstIfelttheshamewhichcomesoverayoungman,thathehasnotknowntheworldasoldwordlingsknowit.

Inthediscussionsamongtheboys,relatingtothismarriage,Ifirstlearnedthepowerofthattemptationwhichcomesuponeveryyoungmantolookonwealthasthefirstobjectinaliferace.

Womanisbyorderofnaturetheconservatoroftheideal.Formedoffinerclay,withnicerperceptions,andrefinedfiber,sheistheappointedpriestesstoguard the poetry of life from sacrilege; but if she be bribed to betray theshrine,whathopeforus?"Ifthesalthavelostitssavor,wherewithshallitbesalted?"

My acquaintancewithMissEllery had broughtme out ofmy scholasticretirement,andmademeanacquaintanceofthewholebevyofthegirlsofX.MissElleryhadbeeninvitedandfêtedinallthefamilies,andherspecialtrainof adorers had followed her, and thus Iwas "au courant" of all the existinggirl-worldofourlittletown.Itwascurioustoremarkwhatasilkenflutterofwings,whatanendlessvolubilityoftonguestherewas,aboutthisengagementandmarriage,andhow,onthewhole,itwastreatedastheheightofsplendorand good fortune. My rosy-faced friend, Miss Dotha, was invited to thefestival asbridesmaid, and returned thereafter "trailing cloudsofglory" intothe primitive circles of X; andmy cynical bitterness of soul took a sort ofperversepleasureintheamplificationsanddiscussionsthatIconstantlyheardinthetea-drinkingcirclesofthetown.

"Oh,girls,you'venoideaaboutthosediamonds,"saidMissDotha;"greatbigdiamondsaslargeaspeas,andjustasclearaswater!BillMarshallmadethemsendorderstoEuropespeciallyforthepurpose;thenshehadapearlsetthathismothergave,andhissistergaveanamethystsetforabreakfastsuit!andyououghttohaveseenthepresents!Itwasaperfectbazar!TheMarshallsareanenormouslyrichfamily,andtheyallcamedownsplendidly:olduncleTomMarshallgaveasolidsilverdiningsetembossedwithgold,andoldAunt

TabithaMarshallgavearealSévreschinatea-set,thatwastakenoutofoneofthe royal palaces in France, at the time of the French Revolution. CaptainAtkinswasinFranceaboutthetimetheyweresackingpalaces,anddoingallsuch things, and he brought away quite a number of things that found theirwayintosomeofthesericholdPortlandfamilies.HerweddingveilwasgivenbyoldGrandmammaMarshall,andwassaidtohavebeenonethatbelongedtoQueenMarie Antoinette, taken by some of those horrid women when theysackedtheTuilleries,andsoldtoCaptainAtkins;atanyrate,itwasthemostwonderfulpointlace,justlikeanoldpicture."

Fancythedrawingofbreaths,theexclamations,thegroansofdelight,fromaknotofpretty,well-dressed,nicecountrygirls,atthesewonderfulglimpsesintoParadise.

"After all," I said, "I think this custom of loading down a woman withfineryjustathermarriagehour,isgivingitwhensheisleastabletoappreciateit.Whydistractherwithgew-gawsat theverymomentwhenherheartmustbe so full of a new affection that she cares for nothing else?MissEllery isprobablysolostinherloveforMr.Marshall,thatshescarcelygivesathoughttothesethings,andreallyforgetsthatshehasthem.Itwouldbemuchmoreinpointtogivethemtosomegirlthathasn'talover."

I spoke with a simple, serious air, as if I had most perfect faith in mywords, and a general gentle smile of amusement went round the circle,rippling intoa laughout-right,on the facesof someof thegayergirls.MissDothasaid:

"Oh,come,now,Mr.Henderson,youaretoosevere."

"Severe!"saidI;"Ican'tunderstandwhatyoumean,MissDotha.Youdon'tmean,ofcourse, tointimatethatMissElleryisnotinlovewiththemanshehasmarried?"

"Oh, now!" said Miss Dotha, laughing, "you know perfectly, Mr.Henderson—weallknow—it'sprettywellunderstood,thatthiswasn'texactlywhatyoucallalove-match;infact,Iknow,"sheaddedwiththeassuranceofaconfidant,"thatshehadgreatdifficultyinmakinguphermind;butherfamilywereveryanxious for thematch, andhis family thought itwouldbe suchagood thing for him to marry and settle down, you know, so one way andanothersheconcludedtotakehim."

"And,afterall,WillMarshallisagood-naturedcreature,"saidMissSmith.

"AndgoingtoEuropeissuchatemptation,"saidMissBrown.

"And shemustmarry some time," saidMiss Jones, "and one can't haveeverything,youknow.Will iscertaintobekindtoher,andletherhaveher

ownway."

"Formypart,"saidprettyMissGreen,"I'mfreetosaythatIdon'tblameanygirlthathasachancetogetsuchafortune,fordoingitasMissElleryhas.I'vealwaysbeenpoor,andpinchedandplagued;nevercangoanywhere,orseeanything,ordressasIwantto;andifIhadachance,suchasMissElleryhad,IthinkIshouldbeafoolnottotakeit."

"Well," saidMissBlack, reflectively, "theonlyquestion is,couldn'tMissElleryhavewaitedandfoundamanwhohadmoreintellect,andmoreculture,whom she could respect and love, andwho hadmoney, too? She had suchextraordinary beauty and such popular manners, I should have thought shemight."

"Oh, well," said Miss Dotha, "she was getting on—she was three-and-twentyalready—andnobodyofjusttherightsorthadturnedup—'abirdinthehand'—you know. After all, I dare say she can love Will Marshall wellenough."

Well enough!The cool philosophic tone of this phrase smote onmy earcuriously.

"Andpray,fairladies,howmuchis'wellenough?'"saidI.

"Wellenoughtokeepthepeace,"saidMissGreen,"andeachlettheotheralone,togotheirownwaysandhavenofighting."

MissGreenwasapretty,spicylittlebody,withapairofprovokinghazeleyes;whotalkedlikeanunprincipledlittlepirate,thoughshegenerallyactedlike a nicewoman. In less than a year after, by theby, shemarried a homemissionary,inMaine,andhasbeenadevotedwifeandmotherinalittleparishsomewhereintheregionofSkowhegan,eversince.

ButIreturnedtomyroomgloriouslymisanthropic,andforsometimemythoughts,likebees,werebusygatheringbitterhoney.Igaveupvisitinginthetea-drinkingcirclesofX.Igotmyselfadarksombrerohat,whichIsloucheddownovermyeyesinbanditstylewhenIwalkedthestreetandmetwithanyof my former gentle acquaintances. I wrote my mother most sublime andawfullettersontheinconceivablevanityandnothingnessofhumanlife.IreadPlatoandÆschylus,andEmerson'sEssays,andbegantothinkmyselfanoldPhilosopherrisenfromthedead.Therewasamelancholygravityaboutallmycollege exercises, and I began to look down on young freshmen andsophomoreswithaserenecompassion,asasagewhohaspassedthroughthevaleofyearsandlearnedthatallisvanity.

The valley of humiliationmay have its charms—it is said that there aremany flowers that grow there, and nowhere else, but for all that, a young

fellow,sofarasIknow,generallywalksthroughthefirstpartofitinratherasurlyandunamiablestate.

Tobesure,hadIbeenwise,Ishouldhavebeenreadytoreturnthanksonmykneesformydisappointment.True,thedollwasstuffedwithsaw-dust,butitwasnotmydoll.Ihadnotlearnedthecheatwhenitwasforevertoolatetohelpmyself,andwasnotcondemnedtospendlifeinvainattemptstomakeawarm, living friend of a coldmarble statue.Many aman has succeeded ingetting his first ideal, and been a miserable man always thereafter, andtherefore.

I have lived to hear very tranquilly ofMrs.WillMarshall's soirées andparties, as she reigns in thearistocraticcirclesofNewYork;and to seeher,stilllikeapolishedlooking-glass,gracefullyreflectingeveryone'swhimsandtastes and opinions with charming suavity, and forgetting them when theirbacksareturned;andtothinkthatsheistherightthingintherightplace—acrownedQueenofVanityFair.

Ihavebecome, too,very tolerantand indulgent to thewomenwhodoasshedid,—use theirowncharmsas thecoinwherewith tobuy the richesandhonorsoftheworld.

Theworldhasbeenbusyforsomecenturiesinshuttingandlockingeverydoor through which a woman could step into wealth, except the door ofmarriage.Allvigorandenergy,suchasmenputforthtogetthisgoldenkeyoflife,iscondemnedandscoutedasunfeminine;andawomanbelongingtotheupper classes, who undertakes to get wealth by honest exertion andindependent industry, losescaste,andiscondemnedbya thousandvoicesasanoddityandaderangedperson.Awomangiftedwithbeauty,whosellsittobuywealth, is farmore lenientlyhandled.Thatwayofgettingmoney isnotcalledunwomanly;andsolongasthewholeforceoftheworldgoesthatway,such marriages as Miss Ellery's and Bill Marshall's will be considered enrégle.

CHAPTERVIII.

THEBLUEMISTS.

My college course was at last finished satisfactorily to my mother andfriends.What joy there is to be got in college honors was mine. I studiedfaithfullyandgraduatedwiththevaledictory.

Nevertheless Icamebackhomeagainasadder ifnotawiserman than Iwent. In fact a tendency to fits of despondency and dejection had been

growinguponmeintheselasttwoyearsofmycollegelife.

Withalltheself-confidenceandconceitthatisusuallyattributedtoyoungmen, and of which they have their share undoubtedly, they still have theirtimes of walking through troubled waters, and sinking in deep mire wherethereisnostanding.

During my last year, the question "What are you good for?" had oftenbornedownlikeanightmareuponme.WhenIenteredcollegeallwasdistant,golden, indefinite, and I was sure that I was good for almost anything thatcould be named.Nothing that ever had been attained byman looked tomeimpossible.Riches,honor,fame,anythingthatanyothermanunassistedhadwroughtoutforhimselfwithhisownrightarm,Icouldworkoutalso.

But as I measured myself with real tasks, and as I rubbed and gratedagainstothermindsandwhirledroundandroundinthevariousexperiencesofcollege life, I grew smaller and smaller inmyown esteem, and oftener andoftenerinmylonelyhoursitseemedasifsomeevilgeniusdelightedtolorditovermeandsittingatmybed-sideorfire-sidetosay"Whatareyougoodfor,towhatpurposeallthepainsandmoneythathavebeenthrownawayonyou?You'llneverbeanything;you'llonlymortifyyourpoormotherthathassetherheartonyou,andmakeyourUncleJacobashamedofyou."Cananyanguishequalthedepthsofthosebluesinwhichaman'swholeselfhangsinsuspensebeforehisowneyes,andhedoubtswhetherhehimself,withhisentireoutfitandapparatus,body,soul,andspirit, isn't tobe,afterall,acompletefailure?Better,hethinksnevertohavebeenborn,thantobeborntonopurpose.Thenfirsthewrestleswiththequestion,Whatislifefor,andwhatamItodoorseekinit?Itseemstobenotwithoutpurpose,thattheactivelife-workofthegreatrepresentativeManofMenwasusheredinbyafortydaysdrearywanderinginthe wilderness hungry, faint, and tempted of the Devil; for certainly, aftereducationhasprettythoroughlywakedupallthereisinaman,andthetimeisathandthatheistomakethedecisionwhattodowithit,thereoftencomesawandering, darkened, unsettled, tempted passage in his life. In Christ'stemptationswemayseeallthatbesetstheyoungman.

Thedailybreadquestion,orhowtogetaliving,—theambitiousheavings,or the kingdoms of theworld and the glory of them, all to be got by someyieldingtoSatan,—theostentatiousimpulsetocomedownontheworldwitharushandasensation,—thesearemirroredinayoungman'ssmallerlifejustastheywereinthatgreatlife.ThewholeHeavenscanbereflectedinthelittlepoolasinthebroadocean!

All theseelementsofunresthadbeenboiling inmymindduring the lastyear.Whowantstobenothinginthegreatworld?Noyoungmanatthistimeofhiscourse.Thewisdomofbecomingnothingthathemaypossessallthings

istoohighforthisstageofimmaturity.

I came into college as simple, and contented, and satisfied, as ahuckleberrybushinasweet-fernpasture.IfeltrichenoughforallIwantedtodo,andmypathoflifelaybeforemedefinedwithgreatsimplicity.

ButmyintimacywithMissEllery,hermarriageandallthatpertainedtoit,hadbroughtbeforemyeyestheworldofwealthandfashion,aworldwhichayoungcollegianmay try todespise,andaboutwhichhemaywrite themostdisparagingmoralreflections,butwhichhas,afterall,itspowertotroublehissoul. The consciousness of being gloveless, and threadbare in toilet, comesoveroneincertainatmospheres,as theconsciousnessofnakednesstoAdamandEve. It is true that in the institutionwhere I attended, as inmanyotherrural colleges in New England, I was backed up by a majority of healthy-minded,hardymen,ofrealmarkandworth,childrenofhonest toilandself-respectingpoverty,whowerebravelyworkingtheirwayupthrougheducationto the prizes and attainments of life. Simple economieswere thereforewellunderstoodandrespectedinthecollege.

Nevertheless there is something not altogether vulgar in the attractionswhichwealthenablesonetothrowaroundhimself.Iwasasocialfavoriteincollege,and tookastandamongmyfellowsasawriterandspeaker,andsohad a considerable share of that sincere sort of flattery which college boyslavishoneachother.Iwasinvitedandmademuchofbysomewhosemeanswereample,whoseapartmentswereluxuriouslyandtastefullyfurnished,butwhowerenonethelessgoodscholarsandhigh-mindedgentlemanlyfellows.

In theirvacationsIhadbeen invited to theirhouses,andhadseenall therefinement, the repose, the ease and the quietude that comes from thepossessionofwealthinthehandsofthosewhoknowhowtouseit.Wealthinsuch hands gives opportunities of the broadest culture, ability to live in thewisestmanner, freedom to choose thehealthiest surroundingsboth formindandbody,notrestrictedbyconsiderationsofexpense;andhowcouldIthinkitanythingelsethananobjectardentlytobesought?

It is true, my rich friends seemed equally to enjoy the vacations in mylittle, plain, mountain home. People generally are insensible to advantagesthey have always enjoyed, and have an appetite for something new; so thehomelyrusticityofourhouse,theperfectfreedomfromconventionalities,thewild,mountain scenery, thewholesomedetail of farm life, thebarnwith itssweetstoresofhay,anditsnooksandcornersandhidingplaces,thegatheringinofourapples,andthemakingofcider,thecorn-huskingsandThanksgivingfrolics,seemedtohavetheirinterestanddelightstothem,andtheyoftentoldme I was a lucky fellow to be born to such pleasant surroundings. But Ithought within myself, It is easy to say this when you feel the control of

thousands in your pocket, when if you are tired you can go to any land orcountryoftheearthforchangeofscene.

InfactweseeinhistorythatthecrusadeofSt.FrancisinfavorofPovertywas not begun by a poor man, but by a young nobleman who had knownnothinghithertobutwealthandluxury.Itisfromtherich,iffromany,thatourgraspingagemustlearnrenunciationandsimplicity.Itiseasiertorenounceagoodwhichonehastriedandofwhichoneknowsalltheattendantthornsandstingsthantorenounceonethathasbeenonlypaintedbytheimagination,andwhosewanthasbeenkeenlyfelt.WhenIcametotheCollegeIcamefromthecontrollingpowerofhomeinfluences.AtanearlyageIhadfeltthestrengthofthat sphere of spirituality that encircled the lives ofmy parents, and, beingvery receptive and sympathetic, had reflected inmy childish nature all theirfeelings.

IhadrenouncedtheworldbeforeIknewwhattheworldwas.Ihadjoinedmyfather'schurchandwaslookeduponasonedestinedintimetotakeupmyfather'sworkoftheministry.

Four years had passed and I came back to my mother, weakened anddoubting, indisposed to take up the holywork towhich inmy early days Ilooked forwardwithenthusiasm,yetwithall the sadnesswhichcomes fromindecisionastoone'slife-object.

Tobeaministeristoembracealifeofpoverty,oftoil,ofself-denial.Todothis,notonlywithcheerfulnessbutwithanenthusiasmwhichshallbeardownallbeforeit,whichshallelevateitintotheregionofmoralpoetryandideality,requiresafervid,unshakenfaith.Themanmustfeelthepowerofanendlesslife,beliftedabovethingsmaterialandtemporaltothingssublimeandeternal.

Now it is one peculiarity of the professors of theChristian religion thattheyhavenot,at leastof lateyears,arranged their systemofeducationwithanywiseadaptation tohaving theiryoungmencomeoutof itChristians. Inthistheydifferfrommanyotherreligionists.TheBrahminseducatetheirsonsso that they shall infallibly become Brahmins; the Jews so that they shallinfallibly be Jews; theMohammedans so that they shall beMohammedans;but the Christians educate their sons so that nearly half of them turn outunbelievers—professorsofnoreligionatall.

There is a book which the Christian world unite in declaring to be aninfalliblerevelationfromHeaven.Ithasbeenthejudgmentofcriticsthatthevariouswritings in thisvolumeexcelotherwritings inpointofmere literarymeritasmuchastheydoinpurityandelevationofthemoralsentiment.Yetitis remarkable that thecritical studyof thesesacredwritings in theiroriginaltonguesisnotinmostofourChristiancollegesconsideredasanessentialpartof the education of a Christian gentleman, while the heathen literature of

GreeceandRomeistreatedassomethingindispensable,andtobegainedatallhazards.

Itisafactthatfromthetimethattheboybeginstofitforcollege,hismindissodrivenandpressedwiththeefforttoacquiretheclassicalliterature,thatthereisnotimetoacquiretheliteratureoftheBible,neitherisitassociatedinhismindwith the dignity and respect of a classical attainment.Hemust befamiliarwithHoraceandOvid,withCiceroandPlato,ÆschylusandHomerintheir original tongues, but themajestic poetry of theOldTestament, and itssages and seers and prophets, become with every advancing year moreunintelligibletohim.Athoroughlyeducatedgraduateofmostofourcollegesis unprepared to read intelligentlymany parts of Isaiah or Ezekiel or Paul'sepistles.Thescripturelessonsofthechurchserviceoftenstrikeonhisearasastrangequaintbabbleofpeculiarsounds,withoutrhymeorreason.Unculturedanduneducated inall that shouldenablehim tounderstand them,he isonlypreservedbyasortofeducationalawefromregarding themas the jargonofbarbarians.

Meanwhile,thisliteratureoftheBible,strange,weird,sibylline,andfullofunfulfilledneedsandrequirementsofstudy,isbeingassailedindetailthroughallthecoursesofaboy'scollegelife.Theobjectionstoitasadivinerevelationrelatetocriticalquestionsinlanguagesofwhichheis ignorant,andyet theyare everywhere; they are in the air he breathes, they permeate all literature,theyenterintomodernscience,theydisintegrateandwearaway,bitbybit,hisreverenceandhisconfidence.

Thisworkhadbeengoingoninsensiblyinmyheadduringmycollegelife,notwithstanding the loyaltyofmyheart.During thoseyears Ihad learned toassociatetheBiblewiththemostsacredmemoriesofhome,withthedearestloves of home life. It was woven with remembrances of daily gatheringsaroundthefamilyaltar,withscenesofdeepestemotionwhenIhadseenmyfather and mother fly to its shelter and rest upon its promises. There werepassages that never recurred to me except with the sound of my father'svibratingvoice,penetratingtheirwordswithaneverdyingpower.TheBiblewas to me like a father and a mother, and the doubts, and queries, therespectful suggestionsof incredulity, themildly suggestiveabatementsof itsauthority, whichmetme, now here and now there, in all the course of myreadingsandstudies,wereaspainfultomeasreflectionscastonmyfather'sprobityormymother'shonor.

Iwouldnotlistentothem,Iwouldnotgivethemvoice,Ismotheredthemin the deepest recesses ofmy heart,whilemeantime the daily pressure thatcame onme in the studies and requirements of college life left me neitherleisurenorinclinationtopursuetheresearchesthatshouldclearthemup.

To be sure, nothing is so important as the soul—nothing is of somuchmomentasreligion,andthequestion"Is thisGod'sbookor is itnot?"is thequestionofquestions.Itunderliesall things,andhewhoiswisewoulddropallotherthingsandundergoanytoilandmakeanystudiesthatshouldfithimtojudgeunderstandinglyonthispoint.ButIspeakfromexperiencewhenIsaythatthecourseofstudyinchristianAmericaissoarrangedthataboy,fromthegrammar school upward till he graduates, is so fully pressed and overladenwithallotherstudiesthatthereisnoprobabilitythathewillfindthetimeortheinclinationforsuchinvestigation.

Inmost caseshewill do justwhat I did, throwhimself upon the studiesproposed tohim,workenoughtomeet thedemandsof thehour,andputofftheacquisitionofthatmoreimportantknowledgetoanindefinitefuture,andsigh,andgobackwardinhisfaith.

Butwithoutfaithorwithafaithtremblinganduncertain,howisamantoturnhisbackontheworldthatisbeforehim—theworldthathecansee,hear,touchandtaste—toworkfortheworldthatisunseenandeternal?

Iwillnotrepeattheflatteringwordsthatoftenfellonmyearandsaidtome, "You canmake your way anywhere; you can be anything you please."Andthentherewerevoicesthatsaidinmyheart,"Imayhavewealth,andwithitmeansofpower,ofculture,of taste,of luxury. If Ionlysetout for that, Imaygetit."Andthen,incontrast,camethatlifeIhadseenmyfatherlive,initsgrandsimplicity,initsenthusiasticsincerity,initsexultingsenseofjoyinwhathewasdoing,down to the lastmortalmoment, and Iwished,oh,howfervently! that Icouldbelieveashedid.But tobeaministermerely fromasense of duty—to bear the burden of poverty with no perception of theunspeakable richeswhichChristhathplaced therein—whowouldnot shrinkfroma life sograting and so cold?Tochoose theministry as apedestal fororatory and self-display and poetic religious sentiment, and thus to attaindistinctionandeasyposition,andthecommandoffashionableluxury,seemedtome a temptation todesecration stillmore terrible, and I dreaded thehourwhichshouldclosemycollegelifeandmakeadecisioninevitable.

ItwaswithasoberandsadheartthatIclosedmycollegecourseandpartedfrom class-mates—jolly fellows with whom had rolled away the four bestyearsofmylife—yearsthatasonegoesonafterwardsinagelookbrighterandbrighterinthedistance.Itwasalonesomeandpokerishoperationtodismantletheroomthathadlongbeenmyhome,tobargainawaymyfurniture,packmybooks,andbidafinalfarewelltoalltheoldquidditiesandodditiesthatIhadgrownattachedtointhequaintlittlevillage.ThepartingfromAlmaMaterisasecondleavingofhome—andthistimeforthegreatworld.Thereisnostavingoffthebattleoflifenow—thetentsarestruck,thecamp-firesputout,andonemustbeonthemarch.

CHAPTERIX.

ANOUTLOOKINTOLIFE.

Mycomingbacktomynativetownwasaneventofpublicnotoriety.Ihadwon laurels, and as I was the village property, my laurels were dulycommented on and properly appreciated. Highlandwas one of those thriftyYankeesettlementswhereeveryhouseseemstospeakthepeoplesowell-to-do,andsocareful,andprogressiveinallthemeansofmaterialcomfort.Therewasnotahouseinitthatwasnotinasortofhealthy,growingstate,receiving,fromtimetotime,someaccessionthatshowedthattheYankeeaspirationwasbusy, stretching and enlarging. This had a new bay-window, and that had anew veranda; the other, new, tight, white picket fences all round the yard.Othersrejoicedinafreshcoatofpaint.Butallwerealive,andapparentlyself-repairing. There was to every house the thrifty wood-pile, seasoning forwinter;thecleangarden,withitswealthoffruitanditsgaybordersofflowers;andeverynewkindofflower,andeverychoicenewfruit,foundsomewhereapatronwhowastryingahandatit.

Highlandwas a place worth living in just for its scenery. It was at thatprecise point of the country where the hills are inspiriting, vivacious,reminding one of the Psalm,—"The little hills rejoice on every side!"Mountains are grand, but they also are dreary. For a near prospect theyoverpower toomuch, they shut out the sun, they have savage propensities,untamablebyman,shownonceinawhileinland-slidesandfreshets;butthesehalf-grown hills uplift one like waves of the sea. In summer they arewonderful in all possible shades of greenness; in autumn they are like amystical rainbow—an ocean of waves, flamboyant with every wonderfuldeviceofcolor;andevenwhentheleavesaregone,inNovember,andnothingleft but the bristling steel-blue outlines of trees, there is awonderful purplehaze,aveilofdreamysoftness,aroundthem,thatmakesyouthinkyouneversawthemsobeautiful.

SoIsaidtomyself,asIcameramblingoverhillanddalebacktotheoldhomestead,andmetmymother'sbrightfaceofwelcomeatthedoor.Iwasthehero of the hour at home, and everything had been prepared to make mewelcome.Mybrother,whokeptthehomestead,hadrelinquishedtheprospectofacollegelife,anddevotedhimselftofarming,butlookedonmeasthemostfavoredofmortalsintheattainmentsIhadmade.Hisyoungwifeandgrowingfamilyofchildrenclusteredaroundmymotherandleanedonherexperience;andaseveryoneinthelittlevillageknewandlovedher,therewasageneral

felicitationandcongratulationontheeventofmyreturnandmyhonors.

"See him in his father's pulpit afore long," said Deacon Manning, whocalledthefirsteveningtopayhisrespects;"bettertryhishandattheweeklyprayermeeting,andstirusupabit."

"I think, Deacon," said I, "I shall have to be one of those that learn insilence,awhilelonger.Imaycometobetaught,butIcertainlycannotteach."

"Well, now, that's modest for a young fellow that's just been throughcollege!Theycommonlyareasfeatheryandhighflyingasathisyear'srooster,andreadytocrowwhethertheirvoicebreaksornot,"saidthedeacon."'Learninsilence!'Well,that'erebeatsallforayoungman!"

Ithoughttomyselfthatthegooddeaconlittleknewthelackoffaiththatwascoveredbymyhumility.

Sincemy father's death,mymother hadmade her homewithmyUncleJacob, her health was delicate, and she preferred to enjoy the honors of agrandmotheratalittledistance.MyUncleJacobhadnochildren.AuntPolly,hiswife,wasjustthesoftest,sleekest,mostdomesticdoveofawomanwhosewingswereevercoveredwithsilver.Ialwaysthinkofherinsomesoft,pearlysilk,withafilmycap,andahalf-handkerchiefcrossedoveragentle,motherlybosom,softmoving,softspeaking,butwithapairofbright,hazeleyes,keenasarrowstosendtheirglancesintoeveryplaceinherdominions.Letanybodytry sending in a false account to Aunt Polly, and they will see that thebrightnessofhereyeswasnotmerelyforornament.Yeteverythingsheputherhandtowentsoexactly,soeasily,youwouldhavesaidthoseeyesweremadefornothingbutreading,forwhichAuntPollyhadagreattaste,andforwhichshefoundabundanceofleisure.

My mother and she were enjoying together a long and quiet Saturdayafternoonoflife,readingtoeachother,andquietlyandleisurelydiscussingallthattheyread,—notmerelythelastnovel,asthefashionofwomenintownsandcitiesisapttobe,butallthesolidworksofphilosophyandliteraturethatmarked the times. My uncle's house was like a bookseller's stall,—it wasoverrunning with books. The cases covered the walls; they crowded thecornersandangles;andstilleverynoteworthybookwasordered,toswellthestock.

Mymother and aunt had read together Lecky, and Buckle, and HerbertSpencer,with the keen critical interest of freshminds.Had it troubled theirfaith?Not in the least; nomore than itwould that ofMary on themorningafter the resurrection!There is a certainmoral altitudewhere faith becomesknowledge, and the bat-wings of doubt cannot fly so high.MymotherwasdwellinginthatlandofBeulah,wherethesunalwaysshineth,andthebellsof

theheavenlycityareheard,andtheshiningoneswalk.Allwascleartoher,allbright,allreal,in"thebeyond;"butthatkindofevidenceisabovetherealmofheavy-footed reason. The "joy unspeakable," the "peace that passethunderstanding,"arethingsthatcannotbepassedfromhandtohand.ElseIamquitesuremymotherwouldhave taken thecrownof joyfromherheadandthepeacefromherbosom,andgiven themtome.But the"whitestonewiththe new name" isChrist's gift to each for himself, and "noman knoweth itsavehethatreceivethit."

But these witnesses who stand gazing into heaven are not without theirpoweronuswhostand lower. Itsteadiedmymoralnerves,so tospeak, thatmymotherhadreadandweighedthewordsthatweremakingsomuchdoubtandshaking; that she fullycomprehended them,and that shesmiledwithoutfear.

She listened without distress, without anxiety, to all my doubts andfalterings."Youmustpassthroughthis;youwillbeled;itwillallcomeright,"shesaid;"andthenperhapsyouwillbetheguideofothers."

Ihad feared to tellher that Ihadabandoned thepurposeof theministry,butIfounditeasy.

"Iwouldnothaveyouembracetheministryforanythingbutatruelove,"shesaid,"anymorethanIwouldthatyoushouldmarryawifeforanyotherreason.Ifeverthetimecomesthatyoufeelyoumustbethat,itwillbeyourcall;butyoucanbeGod'sministerotherwisethanthroughthepulpit."

"Talk over your planswith your uncle," she said; "he is in your father'splacenow."

Infact,myuncle,havingnochildrenofhisown,hadsethisheartonme,andwasdisposedtomakemeheir,notonlytohisverymodestpersonalestate,butalsotohisharvestofideasandopinions,—allthatbackwaterofthoughtsandideasthataccumulateonthemindofamanwhothinksandreadsagreatdealinalonelyneighborhood.Sohetookmeupasacompanioninhisdailyridesoverthecountry.

"Well,Harry,wherenext?"he said tome thedayaftermy return, asweweredrivingtogether."Whatareyouabout?Goingtotrytheministry?"

"I dare not; I amnot fit. I know fatherwanted it, andprayed for it, andnothingwouldbesuchajoytomother,but——"

Myunclegaveashrewd,sidelongglanceonme.

"I supposeyouare likeagoodmany fellows; aneducationgives themageneral shaking up, and all their beliefs break from their lashings and gorollingandtumblingaboutlikesparsandoil-casksinastormonship-board."

"Ican'tsaythatistrueofallmybeliefs;butyetagreatmanythingsthatItriedtoregardascertainareuntied.Ihavetoomanydoubtsforateacher."

"Who hasn't? I don't know anything in heaven or earth that fortyunanswerablequestionscan'tbeaskedabout."

"Youknow,"answeredI,"Tennysonsays,

'Therelivesmorefaithinhonestdoubt,

Believeme,thaninhalfthecreeds.'"

"H'm!thatdepends.Doubtisverywellasasortofconstitutionalcrisisinthebeginningofone'slife;butifitrunsonandgetstobechronic,itbreaksafellowup,andmakeshimmorallyspindlingandsickly.Menthatdoanythingintheworldmustbemenofstrongconvictions;itwon'tdotogothroughlifelikeahen,craw-crawingandliftinguponefoot,andnotknowingwheretosetitdownnext."

"But,"saidI,"whileIampassingthroughtheconstitutionalcrisis,asyoucallit,istheverytimeImustmakeupmymindtoteachothersonthemostawfulofallsubjects.Icannotanddarenot.Imustbealearnerforsomeyearstocome,andImustbealearnerwithoutanypledges,expressedorimplied,tofind the truth this way or that." "Well," said my uncle; "I'm not so greatlyconcerned about that—the Lord needs other ministers besides those in thepulpit.Why,man,thesermonsontheevidencesofChristianitythathavecomehome tomemost have been preached by lay preachers in poor houses andlonelychurches,byignorantmenandwomen,andlittlechildren.""There'soldAunt Sarah there," he said, pointingwith hiswhip to a brown house in thedistance,"thatwoman isdyingofacancer, that slowlyeatsawayher life inlingeringagony,andallherdependenceistheworkofasickly,consumptivedaughter, andyet she ismore than resigned toher lot, she is socheerful, sothankful, so hopeful, there is such a blessed calm peace, and rest, andsweetnessinthathouse,thatIlovetogothere.Theinfluenceofthatwomanisfeltallthroughthevillage—shepreachestosomepurpose."

"Becausesheknowswhatshebelieves,"Isaid.

"Itwasthesamewithyourfather,Harry.Nowmyboy,"headded,turningto me with the old controversial twinkle in his eye, and speaking in aconfidential tone—"The fact is, I never agreedwith your father doctrinally,there were weak spots in his system all along, and I always told him so. Icould trip him and floor him in an argument, and have done it a hundredtimes,"hesaid,givingatouchtohishorse.

Ithoughttomyselfthatitwaswellenoughthatmyfatherwasn'ttheretohear that statement, otherwise there would have been an immediate tilting

match,andthewholegroundtobegoneover.

"Yes,"hesaid;"itwasn'tmainlyinyourfather'stheologythathisstrengthlay—itwas theChrist inhim—thegreatwarmheart—his crystal purity andsimplicity—hisunworldlyearnestnessandhonesty.Hewasagodlymanandamanlymanboth,andhesowedseedalloverthisStatethatcameupgoodmenandgoodwomen.Yes, there arehundreds andhundreds in thisState to-daythataregoodmenandgoodwomen,mainlybecausehe lived.That'swhat Icall success in life,Harry,when aman carries himself so that he turns intoseed-corn and makes a harvest of good people. You may upset a man'sreasonings,andhistheologymaygotothedogs,butabraveChristianlifeyoucan'tupset,itwilltell.Now,Harry,areyougoingtotryforthat?"

"Godhelpingme,Iwill,"Isaid.

"Yousee,astothetheologies,"headded,"IthinkithasbeenwellsaidthattheChristianworldjustnowislikeashipthat'stacking,ithaslostthewindonone side and not quite got it on the other. The growth of society, thedevelopment of new physical laws, and this modern scientific rush of thehumanmindisgoingtomodifytheman-madetheologiesandcreeds;someofthem will drop away just as the blossom does when the fruit forms, butChrist'sreligionwillbejustthesameasever—hiswordswillnotpassaway."

"But then," I said "there are a whole labyrinth of perplexing questionsaboutthisBible.Whatisinspiration?Whatgrounddoesitcover?Howmuchofallthesebooksisinspired?Whatistheirhistory?Howcamewebythem?WhatevidencehavewethattherecordgivesusChrist'swordsuncorrupted?"

"If you had been brought up in JustinMartyr's time or the days of theprimitiveChristiansyouwouldhavebeenputtostudyallthesethingsfirstandforemost in your education, but we modern Christians, teach young meneverything else exceptwhatwe profess to think themost important; and soyoucomeoutofcollegeignorant,justwhereknowledgeismostvital."

"Well,thatispastprayingfornow,"saidI.

"Yes;butevennow there isawayout—justasgoing throughabogyouplant your foot hardonwhat land there is, and then takeyourbearings—soyoumustdohere.Thewaytoget ridofdoubts inreligion, is togo toworkwith all our might and practice what we don't doubt, and that you can dowhateveryourcallingorprofession."

"Ishallcertainlytry,"saidI.

"Forexample,"saidmyuncle,"There'stheSermonontheMount.Nobodyhasanydoubtaboutthat,thereitlies—plainenough,andenoughofit—notabit of what's called theology in it. Not a word of information to settle the

mooted questions men wrangle over, but with a direct answer to just thequestionsany thoughtfulmanmustwant tohaveansweredwhenhe looksatlife. Is there a Father in the heavens?Will he help us if we ask?May thetroublesof lifebeourdiscipline?Is thereabetter lifebeyond?Andhowarewetogetthat?ThereisChrist'sphilosophyoflifeinthatsermon,andChrist'smodeofdealingwithactualexistingsociety;andhewhoundertakesingoodfaithtosquarehisheartandlifebyitwillhavehishandsfull.Theworldhasbeentravelingeighteenhundredyearsandnotcomefullyintothelightofitsmeaning. There has never been a Christian state or a Christian nation,accordingtothat.Thatdocumentisinmodernsocietyjustlikealumpofsodainatumblerofvinegar,itkeepsupaconstantcommotion,andwilldosotillevery particle of life is adjusted on its principles. Themanwhoworks outChrist's teachings into a palpable life-form, preachesChristianity, nomatterwhathistradeorcalling.Hemaybeacoalheaverorhemaybeamerchant,ora lawyer,oraneditor—hepreachesall thesame.MenalwaysknowitwhentheymeetabitofChrist'ssermonswalkingoutbodilyingooddeeds;they'renotlikeworldlywisdom,andhaveasmackofsomethingagooddealhigherthan common sense, but when people see it they say, "Yes—that's the truething."NowoneofourPresidents,GeneralHarrison, foundoutonacertainday that through a flaw in the title deeds he was owner to half the city ofCincinnati.Whatdoeshedo?Why,simplyhesaystohimself, 'Thesepeoplehavepaidtheirmoneyingoodfaith,andI'lldobythemasI'dbedoneby,'andhegoestoalawyerandhasfreshdeedsdrawnoutforthewholeof 'em,andlived and died a poor, honestman. That actionwas a preaching of Christ'sdoctrineasItakeit,andifyou'lldoasmuchwheneveryougetachance,itsnomatterwhatcallingyoutakeforapulpit.Sonowtellmewhatareyouthinkingofsettingyourselfabout?"

"Iintendtodevotemyselftoliterature,"saidI."Ialwayshadafacilityforwriting,while I never felt the call or impulse towardpublic speaking; and Ithink the field of current literature opens a wide scope. I have had alreadysome success inhavingarticles accepted andwell spokenof, andhavenowsome promising offers. I have an opportunity to travel in Europe ascorrespondent of twopapers, and I shall study to improvemyself. In time Imaybecomeaneditor,andthenperhapsatlastproprietorofapaper.Sorunsmyschemeoflife,andIhopeIshallbetruetomyselfandmyreligioninit.Ishall certainly try to. Current literature—the literature of newspapers andmagazines,iscertainlyapower."

"Averygreatpower,Harry,"saidmyuncle;"andgettingtobeinourdayatremendouspower,apowerfaroutgoingthatofthepulpit,andthatofbooks.This constant daily self-asserting literature of newspapers and periodicals isactingonustremendouslyforgoodorfor ill. Ithasaccess tousatallhoursandgetsitselfheardasapreachercannot,andgetsitselfreadasscarcelyany

bookdoes.Itoughttobeenteredintoassolemnlyasthepulpit,foritisusingagreatpower.Yetjustnowitispowerwithoutresponsibility.Itisinthehandsofmenwhocomeundernopledge,passno examination, givenovouchers,though they hold a powermore than that of all other professions or booksunited.Onecannotbeadoctor,oralawyer,oraminister,unlesssomebodyofhisfellowslooksintohisfitnesstoservesocietyintheseways;butonemaybe turned loose to talk inevery family twiceaday,oneverysubject, sacredand profane, and say anything he chooses without even the safeguard of apersonal responsibility. He shall speak from behind a screen and not beknown.NowyouknowoldDantesaysthatthesoulsintheotherworldweredividedintothreeclasses,thosewhowereforGodandthosewhowerefortheDevil,andthosewhowereforneither,butforthemselves.Itseemstomethatthere's a vast many of these latter at work in our press—smart literaryadventurers,whodon't care a copperwhat theywrite uporwhat theywritedown,wholly indifferentwhichsideofaquestion theysustain,so theydo itsmartly,andreadytoselltheirwit,theirgeniusandtheirrhetorictothehighestbidder. Now, Harry, I'd rather see you a poor, threadbare, hard-worked,country minister than the smartest and brightest fellow that ever kept histalentsonsaleinVanityFair."

"Well,"saidI,"isn't it justherethatyourprincipleoflivingoutaGospelshould come? Must there not be writers for the press who believe in theSermonontheMount,andwhoarepledgedtogetitsprinciplesintolife-formsasfastastheycan?"

"Yea, verily," saidmy uncle; "but do youmean to keep faithful to that?Youhave,say,agoodknackatEnglish;youcanwritestories,andpoems,andessays;youhaveaturnforhumor;andnowcomestheDeviltoyouandsays,Show me up the weak points of those reformers; raise a laugh at thosetemperancemen,—those religionists,who, like all us poor human trash, arerunningreligion,andmorals,andprogressintotheground.'Youcansucceed;you can carry your world with you. You see, if Virtue came straight downfromHeavenwithherwhitewingsandglisteningrobes,andalwaysconductedherselfjustlikeanangel,ourtrialinlifewouldn'tbesogreatasitis.Butshedoesn't. Human virtue is more apt to appear like a bewildered, unprotectedfemale, encumberedwith all sorts of irregular bandboxes, dusty, disheveled,out of fashion, and elbowing her way with ungainly haste and ungracefulpostures.Youknowtherearestoriesofpowerfulfairieswhohaveappearedinthisway amongmen, to try their hearts; and thosewho protect themwhenthey are feeble and dishonored, they reward when they are glorious. Now,your smart, flippant, second-rate wits never have the grace to honor Truthwhen she loses her way, and gets bewildered and dusty, and they drive aflourishingbusinessinlaughingdowntheworld'spooreffortstogrowbetter."

"Ithink,"saidI,"thatweAmericanshaveonebrilliantexampleofamanwho had keen humor, and used it on the Christian side. The animus of the"BiglowPapers" is thespiritof theSermonon theMount translated into thelanguageofYankeelife,anddefendedwithwitanddrollery."

"You say truth, Harry, and it was no small thing to do it; for the Anti-Slaverycause thenwas just in thatchaotic state inwhicheverystrangebirdandbeast,everyshaggy, irregular,unkemptreformer,maleandfemale,wereflockingtoit,andtherewascapitalscopeforcaricatureandridicule;andallthe fastidious, and conservative, and soft-handed, and even-stepping peoplewere measureless in their contempt for this shocking rabble. Lowell stoodbetween them and the world, and fought the battle with weapons that theworldcouldunderstand.TherewasaGospeltruthin

'JohnP.Robinson,he,'

and itdidwhatnosermoncould; this is themoreremarkablebecauseheused for the purpose a harlequin faculty, that has so often been read out ofmeeting and excommunicated that the world had come to look at it as ex-officio of the Devil. Whittier and Longfellow made valiant music of thesolemnsort,butLowellevangelizedwit."

"Thefortunateman,"saidI,"tohaveusedagreatopportunity!"

"Harry,theonlywaytobearealman,istohaveacauseyoucareformorethanyourself.Thatmadeyourfather—thatmadeyourNewEnglandFathers—thatraisesliteratureabovesomechild'splay,andmakesitmanly—butifyouwoulddoityoumustcountononething—thatthedevilwilltemptyouintheoutsetwiththebreadquestionashedidtheLord.

"Commandthatthesestonesbemadebread;"

isthefirstonset—you'llwantmoney,andmoneywillbeofferedforwhatyou ought not towrite.There's the sensational novel, the blood andmurderandadulterystory,ofwhichmodernliteratureisfull—youcanproduceit—doit perhaps as well as anybody—it will sell. Will you be barkeeper to thepublic,andwhenthepubliccallforhotbrandyslinggiveittothem,andhelpthemmakebrutesof themselves?Willyouhelp tovulgarizeanddemoralizeliteratureifitwillpay?"

"No;"saidI,"notifIknowmyself."

"Then you've got to begin life with some motive higher than to makemoney, or get a living, and you'll have sometimes to choose betweenpoisonousnonsensethatbringspay,andhonesttruththatnobodywants."

"AndImust tell theDevil that there isahigher life than thebread-life?"saidI.

"Yes; get above that, to begin with. Remember the story of GeneralMarion, who invited someBritish officers to dinewith him and gave themnothingbutroastedpotatoes.Theywentawayandsaiditwasinvaintotrytoconquerapeoplewhentheirofficerswouldliveonsuchfareratherthangiveupthecause.Doyouknow,Harry,whatismygreatesthopeforthisState?It'sthis:Twoor three years ago therewas urgent need to carry this State in anelection,andtherewasnoendofhardmoneysentuptobuyvotesamongourpoor farmers:but theycouldn'tbebought.Theyhad learned, 'Man shallnotlivebybreadalone,' tosomepurpose.TheStatewentallstraightfor liberty.WhatIaskofanymanwhowantstodoalife-workisabilitytobehappyonalittle."

"Well,"saidI,"Ihavebeenbroughtuptothat.Ihavenoexpensivehabits.Ineitherdrinknorsmoke.Iamusedtothinkingdefinitelyastofigures,andIamwillingtoworkhard,andbeginatthebottomoftheladder,butImeantokeepmy conscience andmy religion, and lend a helping hand to the goodcausewhereverIcan."

"Well,now,myboy,there'reonlytwoaidsthatyouneedforthis—oneisGod,andtheotherisatrue,goodwoman.Godyouwillhave,butthewoman—shemustbefound."

I felt the touch on a sore spot, and so answered, purposelymisunderstanding his meaning. "Yes, I have not to go far for her—mymother."

"Ohyes,myboy—thankGodforher;butHarry,youcan't takeherawayfromthisplace;herrootshavespreadhere; theyaremattedandtwinedwiththeverysoil;theyrunundereveryhomesteadandembraceeverygrave.Sheissointerwovenwiththisvillagethatshecouldnottakerootelsewhere,besidethat, Harry, look at the clock of life—count the years, sixty-five, sixty-six,sixty-seven, and the clock never stops! Her hair is all white now, and thatsnowwillmeltbyandby,andshewillbegoneupward.GodgrantImaygofirst,Harry."

"AndI,too,"saidI,fervently."Icouldnotlivewithouther."

"Youmustfindonelikeher,Harry.Itisnotgoodformantobealone;weallneedthemotherly,andwemustfinditinawife.DoyouknowwhatIthinktheprettieststoryofcourtshipIeverread?ItstheaccountofJacob'smarriagewithRebecca,awaybackinthesimpleoldtimes.Youremembertheendingofit,—'AndIsaacbroughtherintohermotherSarah'stent,andtookRebeccaandshebecamehiswife,andIsaacwascomfortedforhismother'sdeath.'There'sthephilosophyofit,"headded;"it'sthemotherlivingagaininthewife.Themotherlyinstinctisintheheartsofalltruewomen,andsoonerorlaterthetruewifebecomesamothertoherhusband;sheguideshim,caresforhim,teaches

him,andcatechiseshimall inthenicestwaypossible.WhyI'msureInevershouldknowhowtogetalongadaywithoutPollytoteachmetherequiringsandforbiddensofthecommandments;tolecturemeforgoingoutwithoutmymuffler,andseethatIputonmyflannelsintherighttime;toinsistthatIshalltake something for my cough, and raise a rebellion to my going out whenthere'sanorth-easter.Somuchforthebody,andasforthesoul-life,Ibelieveitiswomanwhoholdsfaithintheworld—itiswomanbehindthewall,castingoilonthefirethatburnsbrighterandbrighter,whiletheDevilpoursonwater;andyou'llnevergetChristianityoutoftheearthwhilethere'sawomaninit.I'dratherhavemywife'sandyourmother'sopiniononthemeaningofatextofScripture thanall thedoctorsofdivinity, and their faith is an anchor thatalwaysholds.SomejackanapesorotherIreadonce,saideverywomanwantedamaster,andwasasforlornwithoutahusbandasamasterlessdog.Itsagreat,deal truer that every man wants a mother; men are more forlorn thanmasterless dogs, a great deal, when nowoman cares for them. Look at thehomes singlewomenmake for themselves; howneat, howcosy, howbrightwith the oil of gladness, and then look at old bachelor dens! The fact is,womenareborncomfort-makers,andcangetalongbythemselvesagreatdealbetterthanwecan."

"Well,"saidI,"Idon'tthinkIshallevermarry.OfcourseifIcouldfindawomanlikemymother,itwouldbeanotherthing.Buttimesarealtered—thewomen of this day are all for flash and ambition, andmoney. There are nomoresuchasyouusedtofindintheolddays."

"Oh,nonsense,Harry;don'tcometomewiththatsortoftalk.Badsortforayoungman—very.What Iwant tosee inayoungfellow isa resolution tohaveagoodwifeandahomeofhisownasquickashecanfindit.TheRomanCatholics weren't so far out of the way when they said marriage was asacrament.Itisthegreatestsacramentoflife,andthatoldchurchdoesyeomanservicetohumanityinthestandshetakesforChristianmarriage.Ishouldcallthatthemostprosperousstatewhenalltheyoungmenandwomenwerewellmated and helping one another according toGod's ordinances.Youmay besure,Harry,thatyoucanneverbeawholemanwithoutawife."

"Well,"Isaid;"there'stimeenoughforthatbyandby;ifI'mpredestinatedIsupposeit'llcomealongwhenIhavemyfortunemade."

"Don'twaittoberich,Harry.Findafaithful,heroicfriendthatwillstrikehandswithyou,poor,andbegintobuildupyournesttogether,—that'sthewayyourfatherandmotherdid,andwhoenjoyedmore?That'sthewayyourAuntPollyandIdid,andagoodtimewehavehadofit.Therehasalwaysbeenthehandfulofmealinthebarrelandthelittleoilinthecruse,andifthewaywehave always lived is poverty, all I have to say is, poverty is a pretty nicething."

"But,"saidI,bitterly,"youtalkofgoldenages.Therearenosuchwomennowasyoufound,thewomennowaremereeffeminatedollsoffashion—alltheywantiseaseandshow,andluxury,andtheycarenothingwhogivesit—onemanisasgoodasanotherifheisonlyrich."

"Tut,tut,boy!Don'tyoureadyourBible?AwaybackinSolomon'stime,it'swritten, 'Whocanfindavirtuouswoman?Herpriceisaboverubies.'Arerubiesfoundwithoutlookingforthem,anddodiamondslieaboutthestreet?Now, just attend to my words—brave men make noble women, and noblewomenmakebravemen.Beatruemanfirst,andsomedayatruewomanwillbegivenyou.Yes,awomanwhoseopinionofyouwillholdyouupifalltheworldwereagainstyou,andwhose'Welldone!'willbeabetterthingtocomehometo,thanthesenselessshoutingoftheworldwhoscreamforthisthingto-dayandthatto-morrow."

Bythistimethehorsehadturnedupthelane,andmymotherstoodsmilingin the door. I marked the soft white hair that shone like amoonlight gloryroundherhead,andprayed inwardly that theheavenswouldspareheryetalittlelonger.

CHAPTERX

COUSINCAROLINE.

You must go and see your cousin Caroline," said my mother, the firsteveningafterIgothome;"you'venoideahowprettyshe'sgrown."

"She'swhatIcallapatterngirl,"saidmyuncleJacob,"agirlthatcanmakethemostoflife."

"Sheisamodelhousekeeperandmanager,"saidAuntPolly.

NowifAuntPollycalledagirlamodelhouse-keeper,itwasthesameforherthatitwouldbeforamantoreceiveadoctoratefromacollege;infactitwouldbeagooddealmore,asAuntPollywasonewhoalwaysmeasuredherwords, and never said anything pro forma, or without having narrowlyexaminedthepremises.

Elderlypeoplewholiveinhappymatrimonyareinagentlewaydisposedtobematch-makers. If theyhave sense, asmyeldersdid, theydonot showthisdispositioninanyverypronouncedway.Theyneveradviseayoungmandirectlytotryhisfortunewith"Soandso,"knowingthatthatwould,inninecases out of ten, be the directway to defeat their purpose. Somymother'sgentlesuggestion,andmyuncleJacob'spraise,andAuntPolly'sendorsement,

weresimplyinthelineofthemostnaturalremarks.

Cousin Caroline was the daughter of Uncle Jacob's brother, the onlydaughter in the family. Her father was one of those men most useful andnecessaryinsociety,composedofvirtuesandpropertieswhollymasculine.Hewasstrong,energetic,shrewd,acridlyconscientious,andwithanintensityofself-will and love of domination. This rugged rock, all granite, had won atenderwoman tonestleand flower insomecreviceofhisheartandshehadclothedhimwithagarlandofsonsandoneflowerofadaughter.Withinayearor two her death had left this daughter themistress of her father's family. IrememberedCarolineofold,asmyschoolcompanion;theleadingscholar,ineverystudy,alwaysgoodnatured,steady,andclear-headed,readytohelpmewhen I faltered in a translation, or the solution of an algebraic problem. Inthose days I never thought of her as pretty. There were the outlines andrudiments, which might bloom into beauty, but thin, pale, colorless, anddeficientinroundnessandgrace.

I had seen very little of Caroline through my college life; we hadexchangedoccasionallyacousinlyletter,butinmylastvacationshewasawayuponavisit.Iwasnot, therefore,preparedforthevisionwhichbloomedoutuponme from the singer's seat, when I looked up on Sunday and saw her,standinginashaftofsunlightthatlitupherwholeformwithakindofglory.Irubbedmyeyeswithastonishment,asIsawthereaverybeautifulwoman,andbeautiful in quite an uncommon style, one which promised a more lastingcontinuanceofpersonalattractionthanisusualwithourNewEnglandgirls.Iown,thataheadandbustoftheVenusdeMilotype;afigureatoncegraceful,yet ample in its proportions; a rich, glowing bloom, speaking of health andvigor,—gaveanewradiancetoeyesthatIhadalwaysadmired,indayswhenInever had thought of even raising the question of Caroline's beauty. Thesecharmsweresetoff,too,byanativetalentfordress,—thatsortofinstinctivegiftthatsomewomenhaveofarrangingtheirtoiletsoasexactlytosuittheirownpeculiarstyle.Therewasnothingfussy,orfurbelowed,orgaudy,asoneoftenseesinthedressofacountrybeauty,butagrandandseveresimplicity,whichinhercasewastheveryperfectionofart.

MyUncleEbenezerSimmonslivedatadistanceofnearlytwomilesfromour house, but that evening, after tea, I announced tomymother that Iwasgoing to take a walk over to see cousin Caroline. I perceived that themovement was extremely popular and satisfactory in the eyes of all thedomesticcircle.

Whosethoughtsdonottravelinthisdirection,Iwonder,inasmallcountryneighborhood? Here comes Harry Henderson home from college, with hislaurels on his brow, and here is the handsomest girl in the neighborhood, apattern of all the virtues.What is there to be done, except that they should

straightwayfallinlovewitheachother,andtakingholdofhandswalkuptheHillDifficulty together? Ipresume thatnogoodgossip inournativevillagesawanyotherarrangementofourdestinyaspossibleorprobable.

Imayjustaswelltellmyreadersfirstaslast,thatwedidnotfallinlovewith each other, thoughwewere the very best friends possible, and I spentnearlyhalfmytimeatmyuncle'shouse,besettingheratallhours,andhavingthe best possible time in her society; but our relations were as frankly andclearlythoseofbrotherandsisterasifwehadbeenchildrenofonemother.

For a beautiful woman, Caroline had the least of what one may calllegitimate coquetry, of any person I ever saw. There are somewomen, andwomenofahighclasstoo,whoseemtotakeanaturalandinnocentpleasurein the power which their sex enables them to exercise over men, and whoinstinctivelydoathousandthingstocaptivateandcharmoneoftheoppositesex, even when they would greatly regret winning his whole heart. If wellprincipledand instructed they try tokeep themselvesundercontrol,but theystilldoa thousandensnaring things, fornoother reason, that Icansee, thanthat it is theirnature,andtheycannothelp it. If theyhavelessprinciple thisfacultybecomes thenavailablepower,bywhich theycan takepossessionofallthatamanhas,anduseittocarrytheirownplansandpurposes.

Of thispower,whatever itmaybe,Carolinehadnothing;nay,more, shedespisedit,andreceivedtheadmirationandattentionswhichherbeautydrewfrom the opposite sex, with a coldness, in some instances amounting toincivility.

With me she had been from the first so frankly, cheerfully andundisguisedly affectionate and kind, and with such a straightforward air ofcomradeship and a literal ignoring of everything sentimental, that the verygroundof anything like love-makingdid not seem to exist betweenus.ThelasteveningbeforeIwastoleaveformyvoyagetoEurope,Ispentwithher,and she gave me a curiously-wrought traveling-case, in which there was apocketforanyimaginablethingthatabachelormightbesupposedtowantonhistravels.

"IwishIcouldgowithyou,"shesaidtome,withanenergyquiteoutofherusualline.

"IamsureIwishyoucould,"saidI;andwhatwiththenaturalsoftnessofheartthatayoungmanfeels,whenheisplungingofffromthesafegroundofhomeintotheworldandpartlyfromtheunwontedglowoffeelingthatcameoverCaroline'sface,asshespoke,Ifeltquitearushofemotion,andsaid,asIkissedherhand,"Whydidn'twethinkofthisbefore,Caroline?"

"Oh,nonsense,Henry;don'tyoubesentimental,ofallthings,"shereplied

briskly,withdrawingherhand."Ofcourse,Ididn'tmeananythingmorethanthatIwishedIwasayoungfellowlikeyou,freetotakemystaffandbundle,andmakemywayinthegreatworld.Whycouldn'tIbe?"

"You,"saidI,"Caroline,you,withyourbeautyandyourtalents,—Ithinkyoumightbesatisfiedwithawoman'slotinlife."

"Awoman's lot! andwhat is that,pray? to sitwith foldedhandsand seelifedriftingby—tobeamerenullity,andenduretohavemygoodfriendspatmeon theback,and think Iamabrightandshining lightofcontentment inwoman'ssphere?"

"But," said I, "you know, Caroline, that there is always a possibility inwoman'sdestiny,especiallyawomansobeautifulasyouare."

"Youmeanmarriage.Well,perhapsifIcoulddoasyoucan,goallovertheworld,examineandsearchfortheoneIwant,andfindhim,thecasewouldbesomewhat equal;butmychancesareonlyamong thosewhopropose tome.Now, I have read in theArabianNights of princesses so beautiful thatmencameinregiments,toseekthehonoroftheirhand;butsuchthingsdon'toccurinourtimesinNewEnglandvillages.Mylistforselectionmustbeconfinedtosuchoftheeligiblemeninthisneighborhoodasareinwantofwives;menwhowantwives as they do cooking-stoves, andmake up theirminds that Imaysuit them.Bytheby,Ihavebeeninformedalreadyofonewhohashadme under consideration, and concluded not to take me. Silas Boardman, Iunderstand,hasmadeuphismind,andinformedhissistersofthefact,thatIamaltogethertoodressyinmytasteforhislimitedmeans,andbesidesthatIamtoofreeandindependent;sothatdoorisclosedtome,you'llobserve.Silaswon'thaveme!"

"Theconceitedpuppy!"saidI.

"Well, isn't that the common understanding among men—that all themarriageable girls in their neighborhood are on exhibition for theirconvenience?Iftheveryfirstideaofmarriagewithanyoneofthemwerenotsointenselydisagreeabletome,Iwouldalmostbewillingtoletsomeofthemaskme,justtohearwhatIcouldtell them.Nowyouknow,Harry,Iputyououtofthecase,becauseyouaremycousin,andInomorethinkofyouinthatwaythanifyouweremybrother,but,frankly,IneveryetsawthemanthatIcouldbyanystretchofimaginationconceiveofmywanting,orbeingwillingto marry; I know no man that it wouldn't be an untold honor to me to bedoomedtomarry.Iwouldratherscrubfloorsonmykneesforaliving."

"Butyoudoseehappymarriages."

"Oh, yes, dear souls, of course I do, and amglad of it, andwonder andadmire;yes, I see somehappymarriages.There'sUncle Jacobandhiswife,

kindoldsouls,twodearoldpigeonsofthesanctuary!—howcharminglytheyget along! andyour father andmother—they seemedone soul; it reallywasencouragingtoseethatpeoplecouldliveso."

"Butyoumusn'tbetooideal,Caroline;youmusn'tdemandtoomuchofaman."

"Demand?Idon'tdemandanythingofanyman,Ionlywanttobeletalone.Idon'twanttowaitforahusbandtomakemeaposition,Iwanttomakeoneformyself;Idon'twanttotakeahusband'smoney,Iwantmyown.Youhaveindividual ideas of life, you want to work them out; so have I: you areexpected and encouraged to work them out independently, while I amforbidden.Now,whatwouldyousayifsomebodytoldyoutositdownquietlyin thedomesticcircleand read toyourmother,andkeep thewoodsplitandpiled, and the hearth swept, and diffuse a sweet perfume of domesticgoodness, like thevioletamid its leaves, tillbyandbysomewomanshouldcomeandgiveyouafortuneandposition,anddevelopyouraffections,—howwouldyoulikethat?Nowthecasewithmeisjusthere,Iam,ifyouchoosetosayit,soidealandpeculiar inmyviewsthat thereisnoreasonableprospectthat Ishallevermarry,but Iwantaposition,ahouseandhomeofmyown,and a sphere of independent action, and everybody thinks this absurd andnobodyhelpsme.Aslongasmotherwasalive,therewassomeconsolationinfeelingthatIwaseverythingtoher.Poorsoul!shehadahardlife,andIwashergreatestprideandcomfort,butnowsheisgone,thereisnothingIdoformyfatherthatagood,smarthousekeepercouldnotbehiredtodo;butyouseethat would cost money, and themoney that I thus save is invested withoutconsultingme: it goes tobuymore rocky land,whenwehavealreadymorethanwe knowwhat to dowith. I sacrifice allmy tastes, I stuntmy growthmentallyandintellectuallytothisdailytread-millofhouseanddairy,andyetIhavenotacentthatIcancallmyown,Iamaservantworkingforboardandclothes, and because I am a daughter I am expected to do it cheerfully;myonlyescapefromthisposition is to takeasimilarone in thefamilyofsomemantowhom,inadditiontothesuperintendenceofhishousehold,Ishallowethepersonaldutiesof awife, and thatwayoutyoumayknow I shallnevertake. Soyou are sure to findme ten or twenty years hence a fixture in thisneighborhood,spokenoffamiliarlyas 'oldMissCarolineSimmons,'across-pious oldmaid, held up as awarning to contumacious young beauties howthey neglect their first gracious offer. 'Caroline was a handsome gal in hertime,'they'llsay,'butshewastooperticklar,andnowherdayisoverandshe'sleftanoldmaid.Sheheldherheadtoohighandsaid"No"alittletoooften;yesee,galsbettertaketheirfustchances.'"

"After all, cousin," I said, "thoughwemen are all unworthy sinners, yetsometimesyouwomendoyieldtomuchpersuasion,andtakesomeoneoutof

pity."

"I can't do that; in fact I have tried to do it, and can't. This desperatedullness,andrestraint,andutterparalysisofprogressthatlieslikeanightmareonone,isadreadfultemptation;whenamanoffersyouafortune,whichwillgive you ease, leisure, and power to follow all your tastes and a certainindependent stand, such as unmarried women cannot take, it is a greattemptation."

"Butyouresistedit!"

"Well, I was sorely tried; there were things I wanted desperately—asplendidhouseinBoston,pictures,carriages,servants,—oh,Ididwantthem;Iwantedtheéclat,too,ofarichmarriage,butIcouldn't;themanwastoogoodamantobetrifledwith;ifhewouldonlyhavebeenagooduncleorgrandpaIwould have loved him dearly, and been ever so devoted, kept his housebeautifully,waitedonhim likeadutifuldaughter, read tohim, sung tohim,nursedhim,beenthebestfriendintheworldtohim,buthiswifeIcouldnotbe;theveryideaofitmadetheworthycreatureperfectlyrepulsiveandhatefultome."

"Didyouevertrytotellyourfatherhowyoufeel?"

"Ofwhatearthlyuse?Therearepeopleinthisworldwhodon'tunderstandeachother'svernacular.PapaandIcouldnomorediscussanyquestionoftheinnerlifetogetherthanifhespokeChickasawandIspokeFrench.Papahasarespectformypracticalefficiencyandbusinesstalent,andinacertainrangeofideaswegetonwelltogether.HethinksIhavemadeagreatmistake,andthat there isacrack inmyheadsomewhere,buthesaysnothing;his idea isthat I have let slip the only chance of my life, but still, as I am a greatconvenience at home, he is reconciled. I suppose all my friends mourn insecretplacesoverme,andIshouldhavebeenapplaudedandcommendedonallhandsifIhaddoneit;but,afterall,wouldn'titbeagreatdealmorehonest,morewomanly,morelikeareasonablecreature,formetodojustwhatyouaredoing,fitmyselftomakemyownway,andmakeanindependenceformyself?Really it isn't honest to take a positionwhere you know you can't give themainthingaskedfor,andkeepoutsomebodyperhapswhocan.Myfriendhasmadehimselfhappywithawomanwhoperfectlyadoreshim,andoughttobemuchobligedtomethatIdidn'ttakehimathisword;good,sillysoulthathewas."

"But,afterall,thePrincemaycome—thefatedknight—Caroline."

"And deliver the distressed damsel?" she said, laughing. "Well,when hecomes I'll show himmy 'swan's nest among the reeds.' Soberly, the fact is,cousin,"shesaid,"youmendon'tknowuswomen.Inthefirstplacetheysay

that therearemoreofusbornthanthereareofyou:andthatdoesn'thappenmerelytogiveyouagoodnumbertochoosefrom,andenableeverywidowertofindasupernumerary;itisbecauseitwasmeantthatsomewomenshouldleadalifedifferentfromthedomesticone.Thewomanlynaturecanbeofuseotherwherebesidesinmarriage,inourworld.Tobesure,forthelargestclassofwomenthereisnothinglikemarriage,andIsupposetheusagesofsocietyaremadeforthemajority,andexceptionalpeoplemustn'tgrumbleiftheydon'tfindthingscomfortable;butIampersuadedthatthereisaworkandawayforthosewhocannotmarry."

"Well,there'sUncleJacobhasjustbeenpreachingtomethatnomancanbedevelopedfullywithoutawife,"saidI.

"Uncle Jacob has matrimony on the brain! it's lucky he isn't a despoticCzaror,Ibelieve,he'dmarryallthemenandwomen,willenille.Igrantthattherare,realmarriage,thatoccursonetimeinahundred,isthetrueidealstateformanandwoman,but itdoesn't follow thatallandeverything thatbringsmanandwoman together inmarriage isblessed, and I takemystandonSt.Paul'sdoctrinethattherearebothmenandwomencalledtosomehigherstate;now,itseemstomethatthenumberoftheseincreaseswiththeadvancementof society.Marriage requires soclosean intimacy that theremustbeperfectagreement and sympathy; the lower down in the scale of being one is, thefewer distinctive points there are of difference or agreement. It is easier forJohn and Patrick, and Bridget and Katy, to find comfortable sympathy andagreement than it is for thosefarup in thescaleof lifewhereeducationhasdevelopedathousandindividualtastesandpeculiarities.WereadinhistoryoftheRapeof theSabines, andhow thewomen thus carriedoff at hap-hazardtooksokindlytotheirhusbandsthattheywouldn'tbetakenbackagain.Suchthingsareonlypossibleinthebarbarousstagesofsociety,whencharactersareveryrudimentaryandsimple.IfasimilarexperimentweremadeonwomenofthecultivatedclassesinourtimesIfancysomeofthemenwouldbekilled;Iknow onewould,"—she saidwith an energetic grasp of her little fist and aflashoutofhereyes.

"Buttheidealmarriageisthethingtobesought,"saidI.

"Foryou,whoarebornwiththerighttoseek,itisthethingtobesought,"shesaid; "forme,whoamborn towait till Iamsoughtbyexactly the rightone, the chances are so infinitesimal that theyought not to be considered; Imay have a fortune left me, and die a millionaire; there is no actualimpossibility in that thing's happening—it is a thing that has happened topeople who expected it as little as I do—but it would be the height ofabsurditytobaseanycalculationuponitandyetallthearrangementsthataremadeaboutmeandforme,aremadeonthepresumptionthatIamtomarry.Iwent to Uncle Jacob and tried to get him to take me through a course of

medical study, to fitme for aprofessional life, and itwas impossible togethimtotakeanyseriousviewofit,ortobelievewhatIsaid;heseemedreallytothinkIwasplottingtoupsettheBibleandtheConstitution,inplanningforanindependentlife."

"After all, Caroline, youmust pardonme if I say that it does not seempossiblethatawomanlikeyouwillbeallowed—thatisyouknow—youwill—well—findsomebody—thatis,youwillbelessexactingbyandby."

"Exacting!whydoyouusethatword,whenIdon'texactanything?Iamnotsoveryideal inmytastes,Iamonlyindividual;Imusthaveinmyselfacertainfeelingtowardsthispossibleindividual,andIdon'tfindit.InonecasecertainlyIaskedmyselfwhyIdidn't?Themanwasallheshouldbe,Ididn'tobject tohim in the slightest degree as aman;but lookedon respecting themarriagerelation,hewassimplyintolerable.ItmustbethatIhavenovocationtomarry,andyetIwantwhatanylivewomanwants;Iwantsomethingofmyown;Iwantalife-workworthdoing;Iwantahomeofmyown;Iwantmoneythat I can use as I please, that I can give and withhold, and dispose of asabsolutelymine,andnotanother's;andtheworldseemsallarrangedsoastohindermygettingit.Ifamanwantstogetaneducationtherearecollegeswithrich foundations,whereendowmentshavebeenheapedup, and scholarshipsfounded,toenablehimtoprepareforlifeatreasonableexpense.Therearenosuch for women, and their schools, such as they are, infinitely poorer thanthosegiventomen,involvedoubletheexpense.Ifyouaskaprofessionalmantoteachyouprivately,helaughsatyou,complimentsyou,andsendsyouawaywiththefeelingthatheconsidersyouasilly,cracked-braingirl,orperhapsanunsuccessfulanglerinmatrimonialwaters;heseemstothinkthat thereisnouseteachingyou,becauseyouwillthrowdownall,andrunforthefirstmanthatbeckonstoyou.Thatsortofpresumptionisinsufferabletome."

"Oh,well,Carrie,youknowthoseoldDoctors,theygetacertainjog-trotway of arranging human life; and thenmen that are happilymarried are insuchbliss,andsuchwomen-worshipers that theycannotmakeuptheirmindthatanybodytheycareaboutshouldnotentertheirparadise."

"I donot despise their paradise," saidCaroline; "I think everybodymosthappythatcanenterit.Iamthankfultoseethattheycan.Iamdelightedandastonishedeverydayatbeholdingtheblissandsatisfactionwithwhichreallynice, pretty girls take up with the men they do, and I think it all verydelightful;butit'sratherhardonmethat,sinceIcan'thavethat,Imustn'thaveanythingelse."

"Afterall,Caroline,isnotyourdissatisfactionwiththelawsofnature?"

"Notexactly;Iwon'tquarrelwiththewillthatmademeawoman,notinmydeepestheart.NeitherbeingawomandoIwanttobeunwomanly.Iwould

not,ifIcould,doasGeorgesSanddid,putonmen'sclothesandliveaman'slife.Anythingofthatsortinawomanisveryrepulsiveanddisgustingtome.At the same time, I do think that the customs and laws of societymight bemodified so as to give towomenwho do not choose tomarry, independentpositionandmeansofsecuringhomeandfortune.Marriageneveroughttobeentered on as a means of support. It seems to me that our sex are enoughweightedbynature,andthatthereforeallthelawsandinstitutionsofsocietyought toact in just thecontrarydirection,and tend toholdusup—towidenourway,toencourageourefforts,becausewearetheweakerparty,andneeditmost.Theworldisnowarrangedforthestrong,andIthinkitoughttobere-arrangedfortheweak."

Ipaused,andponderedallthatshehadbeensaying.

"Mymother—"Ibegan.

"Now,pleasedon'tquoteyourmothertome.Iknowwhatshewouldsay.IftwoangelsweresentdownfromHeaven,theonetogovernanempire,andtheothertosweepthestreets,theywouldnotwishtochangewitheachother;itisperhapstrue.

"But then, you see, that is only possible because they are angels. Yourmotherhasgotupsomewhereintothatregion,butIamdowninthelowlands,andmustdothebestIcanonmyplane.Icanconceiveofthosemoralheightswhere one thing is just as agreeable as another, but I have not yet reachedthem.Besides,youknowJacobwrestledwithhisangel,andwascommendedforit;andIthinkweoughttosatisfyourselvesbygood,strongeffortthatourlotisofGod.Ifwereallycannothelpourselves,wemayberesignedtoitasHiswill."

"Caroline,"Isaid,"ifyoumighthaveexactlywhatyouwant,whatwouldithavebeen?"

"In the first place, then, exactly the same educationwithmy brothers. Ihearofcollegesnow,somewherefaroutwest,whereabrotherandsistermaygo through the same course together; that would have suited me. I amimpatientofhalf-education.Iambynatureverythoroughandexact.IwanttobesureofdoingwhateverIundertakeaswellasitcanbedone.Idon'twanttobeflatteredandpettedforprettyignorance.Idon'twanttobetoleratedinanyhalfway,slovenlyworkofanykindbecauseIamawoman.WhenIhaveathoroughgeneraleducation,Ithenwanttomakeprofessionalstudies.Ihaveagreataptitudeformedicine.Ihaveanaturalturnforthecareofsick,andamnowsentforfarandnearasoneofthebestadvisersandwatchersincaseofsickness.InthatprofessionIdon'tdoubtImightdogreatgood,beveryhappy,have a cheerful home of own, and a pleasant life-work; but I don'twant toenterithalftaught.Iwanttobeabletodoasgoodworkasanyman's;tobe

heldtothesameaccount,andreceiveonlywhatIcanfairlywin."

"But,Caroline,aman'slifeincludessomuchdrudgery."

"Anddoes notmine?Doyou suppose that the care of all the house anddairy,theoversightofallmyfather'shomeaffairs,isnodrudgery?Muchofitisdonewithmyownhands,becausenootherworkthanminecancontentme.ButwhenyouandIwenttoschooltogether,itwasjustso:youknowIworkedoutmyownproblemsandmademyowninvestigations.Nowall that is laidaside;atleast,allmyeffortsaresohap-hazardandpainfullyincomplete,thatitisdiscouragingtome."

"Butwouldnotyourfatherconsent?"

"Myfather isamanwedded to thepast, andsetagainsteverychange inideas.Ihavetriedtogethisconsenttoletmegoandstudy,andpreparemyselftodosomethingworthdoing,butheisperfectlyimmovable.HesaysIknowmorenowthanhalfthewomen,andagreatdealtoomuchformygood,andthathecannotspareme.Attwenty-onehemakesnofurtherclaimonanyofmybrothers;theirminoritycomestoanendatacertainperiod—mine,never."

Wewere walking in themoonlight up and down under the trees by thehouse.Carolinesuddenlystopped.

"Cousin,"shesaid,"ifyousucceed;ifyougettobewhatIhopeyouwill—highintheworld,aprosperouseditor—speakforthedumb,foruswhoselivesburnthemselvesoutintowhiteashesinsilenceandrepression."

"Iwill,"Isaid.

"Youwillwrite tome;Ishall rejoice tohearof theworld throughyou—andIshallrejoiceinyoursuccess,"sheadded.

"Caroline,"Isaid,"doyougiveupentirelywrestlingwiththeangel?"

"No; if I did, I should not keep up. I have hope from year to year thatsomething may happen to bring things to my wishes; that I may obtain ahearingwith papa; that his sense of justicemay be aroused; that Imay getUncle Jacob todo somethingbesides recite verses and complimentme; thatyourmothermayspeakforme."

"Youhavenevertoldyourhearttomymother?"

"No;Iamveryreticent,andtheseadoringwiveshavebutonerecipeforallourtroubles."

"Ithink,Caroline,thather'sisawide,freenature,thattakesviewsabovetheordinarylevelofthings,andthatshewouldunderstandandmightworkforyou.Tellherwhatyouhavebeentellingme."

"Youmay,ifyouplease.Iwilltalkwithherafterwardperhapsshewilldosomethingforme."

CHAPTERXI.

WHYDON'TYOUTAKEHER?

ThenextdayIspoketomyuncleJacobofCaroline'sdesiretostudy,andsaid that some way ought to be provided for taking her out of her presentconfinedlimits.

He looked at me with a shrewd, quizzical expression, and said:"Providence generally opens a way out for girls as handsome as she is.Caroline is a little restless just at present, and so is getting some of thesemodernstrong-mindednotionsintoherhead.Thefactis,thatourregionisalittle toomuchoutof theworld; there isnobodyaroundhere,probably, thatshewould think a suitablematch for her. Caroline ought to visit, now, andcruiseaboutalittleinsomeofthewatering-placesnextsummer,andbeseen.Therearefewgirlswithafinerair,ormoresuretomakeasensation.Ifancyshewouldsoonfindtherightsphereunderthesecircumstances."

"Butdoesitnotoccurtoyou,uncle,thattheveryideaofgoingoutintotheworld,seekingtoattractandfallinthewayofoffersofmarriage,isonefromwhich such a spirit as Caroline's must revolt? Is there not somethingessentiallyunwomanlyinit—somethinghumiliating?Iknow,myself,thatsheis too proud, too justly self-respecting, to do it.Andwhy should a superiorwoman be condemned to smother her whole nature, to bind down all herfaculties,andwaitforoccupationinaspherewhichit isunwomanlytoseekdirectly,andunwomanlytoacceptwhenofferedtoher,unlessofferedbytheoneofathousandforwhomshecanhaveacertainfeeling?"

"Totellthetruth,"saidmyuncle,lookingatmeagain,"Ialwaysthoughtinmyheart thatCarolinewas just the proper person for you—just thewomanyouneed—brave,strong,andyetlovely;andIdon'tseeanyobjectioninthewayofyourtakingher."

Elderly people of a benevolent turn often get a matter-of-fact way ofarranging the affairs of their juniors that is sufficiently amusing.My unclespokewithaconfidentialairofgoodfaithofmytakingCarolineasifshehadbeen a lot of land up for sale. Seeingmy look of blank embarrassment, hewenton:

"Youperhapsthinktherelationshipanobjection,butIhavemyownviewsonthatsubject.Theonlyobjectiontotheintermarriageofcousinsisonethat

depends entirely on similarity of race peculiarities. Sometimes cousinsinheriting each from different races, are physiologically asmuch of diversebloodas if theirparentshadnotbeen related,and in thatcase there isn't theslightest objection to marriage. Now, Caroline, though her father is yourmother'sbrother,inheritsevidentlytheSelwynblood.She'sallhermother,orrather her grandmother,whowas a celebrated beauty.Caroline is aSelwyn,everyinch,andyouareasfreetomarryherasanywomanyoucanmeet."

"Youtalkasifshewereagoldenapple,thatIhadnothingtodobutreachforthmyhandtopick,"saidI."DiditneveroccurtoyouthatIcouldn'ttakeherifIweretotry?"

"Well,Idon'tknow,"saidUncleJacob,lookingmeoverinamannerwhichindicatedacomplimentaryopinion. "I'mnot sosureof that.She'snot in thewayofseeingmanymensuperiortoyou."

"Andsupposethatshewerethatsortofwomanwhodidnotwishtomarryatall?"saidI.

My uncle looked quizzical, and said, "I doubt the existence of thatspecies."

"Itappearstome,"saidI,"thatCarolineisbynaturesomuchmorefittedforthelifeofascholarthanthatofanordinarydomesticwoman,thatnothingbut amost absorbing and extraordinary amount of personal affectionwouldevermaketheroutineofdomesticlifeagreeabletoher.Sheisveryfastidiousandindividualinhertastes,too,andtheprobabilitiesofherfindingthepersonwhomshecouldloveinthismannerareverysmall.Nowitappearstomethatthetakingforgrantedthatallwomen,withoutrespecttotasteortemperament,musthavenosphereoropeningfortheirfacultiesexceptdomesticlife, isasgreat an absurdity in our modern civilization as the stupid custom of half-civilizednations,bywhicheveryson,nomatterwhathischaracter,isobligedtoconfinehimselftothetradeofhisfather.Ishouldhavefeltitahardshiptobecondemnedalwaystobeashoemakerifmyfatherhadbeenone."

"Nay,"saidmyuncle,"thecasesarenotparallel.Thedomesticsphereofwifeandmothertowhichwomaniscalled,isdivineandgod-like;itissacred,andsolemn,andnowomancangohigherthanthat,andanythingelsetowhichshedevotesherself,fallsinfinitelybelowit."

"Well,then,"saidI,"letmeuseanothersimile.Myfatherwasaminister,and I reverence and almost adore the ideal of such a minister, and such aministryashiswas.Yet itwouldbeanoppressiononmetoconstrainmetoenterintoit.Iamnotadaptedtoit,orfittedforit.Ishouldmakeafailureinit,whileImightsucceedina lowersphere.Nowitseemstomethat justasnooneshouldenter theministryasameansofsupportorworldlyposition,but

wholly from a divine enthusiasm, so no woman should enter marriage forprovision, or station, or support; but simply and only from themost purelypersonal affection. And my theory of life would be, to have society soarrangedthatindependentwomanshallhaveeveryfacilityfordevelopinghermindandperfectingherselfthatindependentmanhas,andeveryopportunityin society for acquiring and holding property, for securing influence, andposition, and fame, just as man can. If laws are to make any differencebetweenthetwosexes,theyoughttohelp,andnottohindertheweakerparty.Then,Ithink,amanmightfeelthathiswifecametohimfromthepurestandhighestkindoflove—notdriventohimasarefuge,notcompelledtotakehimas a dernier resort, not struggling and striving to bring her mind to him,because she must marry somebody,—but choosing him intelligently andfreely,becauseheistheonemoretoherthanalltheworldbeside."

"Well," said my uncle, regretfully, "of course I don't want to be amatchmaker,butIdidhopethatyouandCarolinewouldbesoagreed;andIthinknow,thatifyouwouldtry,youmightputthesenotionsoutofherhead,andputyourselfintheirplace."

"AndwhatifIhadtried,andbecomecertainthatitwasofnouse?"

"Youdon'tsayshehasrefusedyou!"saidmyuncle,withastart.

"No, indeed!" said I. "Caroline is one of those women whose wholemannerkeepsoffentirelyallapproachesof thatkind.Youmayrelyupon it,uncle,thatwhileshelovesmeasfranklyandtrulyandhonestlyaseversisterlovedabrother,yetIamperfectlyconvincedthatitismainlybecauseIhavekept myself clear of any misunderstanding of her noble frankness, or anypresumptionfoundeduponit.Herlovetomeishonestcomradeship,justsuchas Imighthave fromacollegemate, and there isnot the leastdangerof itssliding into anything else. Theremay be an Endymion to thisDiana, but itcertainlywon'tbeHarryHenderson."

"H'm!"saidmyuncle."Well,I'mafraidthenthatsheneverwillmarry,andyou certainly must grant that a woman unmarried remains foreverundevelopedandincomplete."

"No more than a man," said I. "A man who never becomes a father isincompleteinonegreatresemblancetothedivinebeing.Yettherehavebeenmenwith theelementoffatherhoodmore largelydevelopedincelibacy thanmost are inmarriage.TherewasFénelon, for instance,whowasmarried tohumanity.Everyhumanbeingthathemetheldtheplaceofachildinhisheart.No individual experience of fatherhood could make such men as he morefatherly.Andinlikemannertherearewomenwithmorenaturalmotherhoodthan many mothers. Such are to be found in the sisterhoods that gathertogether lost and orphan children, and are their mothers in God. There are

natureswhodonotneedthedevelopmentofmarriage;theyknowinstinctivelyall it can teach them. But they are found only in the rarest and highestregions."

"Well," saidmy uncle, "for every kind of existence in creationGod hasmadeamate,andtheeaglesthatliveonmountaintops,andflytowardthesun,havestill theirkindredeagles.Now,I think,formypart, that ifFénelonhadmarriedMadameGuyon,hewouldhavehadaricherandahappierlifeofit,andshewouldhavegoneoffintofewervagaries,andtheywouldhavelefttheChurchsomesplendidchildren,whomight,perhaps,havebeenbornwithouttotal depravity. You see these perfected specimens owe it to humanity toperpetuatetheirkind."

"Well,"saidI,"letthemdoitbyspiritualfatherhoodandmotherhood.St.Paulspeaksoftenofhisconvertsasthosebegottenofhim—thechildrenofhissoul;athousand-foldmoreofthemtherewere,thantherecouldhavebeenifhehadweightedhimselfwith the careof an individual family.Thinkof thespiritualchildrenofPlatoandSt.Augustine!"

"This may be all very fine, youngster," said, my uncle, "but veryexceptional; yet for all that, I should be sorry to see a fine woman likeCarolinewitheringintoanoldmaid."

"She certainly will," said I, "unless you and mother stretch forth yourhands and give her liberty to seek her destiny in themode inwhich natureinclines her. You will never get her to go husband-hunting. The mere ideasuggestedtoherofexhibitinghercharmsinplacesofresort,inthevaguehopeofbeingchosen,wouldbesufficienttokeepheroutofsociety.Shehasoneofthose independent natures towhich it is just as necessary for happiness thatsheshouldmakeherownway,andjustasirksometodependonothers,asitisfor most young men. She has a fine philosophic mind, great powers ofacquisition,acuriosityforscientificresearch;andherdesireistofitherselfforaphysician,—asphereperfectlywomanly,and inwhich themotherlynatureof woman can be most beautifully developed. Now, help her with yourknowledge through the introductory stages of study, and use your influenceafterwardtogetherfathertogiveherwideradvantages."

"Well, the fact is," saidmyuncle, "Caroline is a splendidnurse; shehasgreat physical strength and endurance, great courage and presence ofmind,and a wonderful power of consoling and comforting sick people. She hasborrowedsomeofmybooks,andseemedtoshowaconsiderableacutenessinher remarks on them. But somehow the idea that a lovely young womanshoulddevoteherselftomedicine,hasseemedtomeagreatwaste,andIneverseriouslyencouragedit."

"Depend upon it," said I, "Caroline is a womanwhowill becomemore

charming in proportion as shemoves more thoroughly and perfectly in thesphereforwhichnaturehasadaptedher.Keepagreat,stately,whiteswanshutupinabarn-yardandshehasanungainlygait,becomesmorose,andlosesherbeautifulfeathers;butsetherfreetoglideoffintohernativeelementandallisharmoniousandbeautiful.Asuperiorwoman,giftedwithpersonalattractions,whoisforgettingherselfintheenthusiasmofsomehighcallingorprofession,neverbecomesanoldmaid;shedoesnotwither;sheadvancesaslifegoeson,andoftenkeepshercharmslongerthanthematronexhaustedbyfamilycaresandmotherhood.Acharmingwoman,fullyandhappilysettledandemployedinalife-workwhichisallinalltoher,isfarmorelikelytobeattractiveandtobe sought than one who enters the ranks of the fashionable waiters onProvidence."

"Well, well," said my uncle, "I'll think of it. The fact is, we fellows ofthree-scoreoughttobeknockedontheheadpeaceably.Wehavethebotherofbeing progressive all through our youth, and by the timewe get somethingsettled,upcomesyournextgenerationandbeginskickingitallover.It's toobadtodemolishthehousewespendouryouthinbuildingjustwhenwewantrest,anddon'twantthefatigueofbuildingover."

"For thatmatter," said I, "themodern ideas of woman's sphere were allthought out and expressed in theGreekmythology ages and ages ago. TheGreeksdidn'tfiteverywomantoonetype.Therewastheirpretty,plumplittleAphrodite,andtheirgodlikeVenusdeMilo;therewasDiana—thewomanofcold, bright, purephysical organization,—independent, free, vigorous.TherewasMinerva,theimpersonationofthepurelyintellectualwoman,whoneitherwishednorsoughtmarriage.TherewasJuno,thehouse-keeperanddomesticqueen,andCeres,thebread-giverandprovider.Inshort,theGreeksconceivedavarietyofspheresofwomanhood;butwe,inmoderntimes,havereducedalltoone—thevinethattwines,andtheviolethidintheleaves;asiftheVictoriaRegia hadn't as good a right to grow as the daisy, and as if therewere notfemaleoaksandpinesaswellasmale!"

"Well,afterall,"hesaid,"theprevalenttypeofsexthroughnature,isthatofstrengthformananddependenceforwoman."

"Nay," said I; "if you appeal to nature in thismatter of sex, there is thefemale element in grand and powerful forms, as well as in gentle anddependentones.Theshe-lionand tigeraremore terribleanduntamable thanthemale.TheGreekmythologywasaperfectreflectionofnature,andclothedwomanwithmajesty and power as well as with grace; how splendid thosedescriptionsofHomerare,whereMinerva, clad incelestial armor, leads theforcesoftheGreekstobattle!WhatvigorthereisintheirimpersonationoftheDiana;thewomanstronginherself,scorningphysicalpassion,andterribletoapproach in the radiantmajestyofherbeauty, strikingwithdeath thevulgar

curiositythatdaredtoprofanehersanctuary!Thatwastheidealofawoman,self-sufficient,victorious,andcapableofagrand,free,proudlifeofherown,not needing to depend upon man. The Greeks never would have imaginedsuchgoddessesiftheyhadnotseensuchwomen,andourmoderncivilizationis imperfect if it does not provide a place and sphere for such types ofwomanhood.Ittakesallsortsofpeopletomakeupaworld,andthereoughttobeprovision,toleration,andfreecourseforallsorts."

"Well,youngster,"saidmyuncle,"Ithinkyou'llwritetolerableleadersforsomeradicalpaper,oneofthesedays,butyoufellowsthatwanttogetintothechariotofthesunanddriveit,hadbetterthinkalittlebeforeyousettheworldon fire.As foryourDiana, I thankHeaven she isn'tmywife, and I think itwouldbeprettycoldpickingwithyourMinerva."

"Permitmetosay,uncle,thatinthis'latterdayglory'thatiscoming,menhave got to learn to judgewomen by some other standard thanwhatwouldmakegoodwivesforthem,andacknowledgesometimesafemininityexistinginandforitself.Asthereisapossiblemanhoodcompletewithoutwoman,sothereisapossiblewomanhoodcompletewithoutman."

"That'snottheChristianidea,"saidmyuncle.

"Pardonme," I replied, "but I believe it is exactly what St. Paul meantwhenhespokeofthestateofcelibacy,indevotiontothehigherspirituallife,asbeingahigherstateforsomemenandwomenthanmarriage."

"Youareondangerousground there," saidmyuncle, "youwill run rightintomonasticabsurdity."

"Highgroundsarealwaysdangerousgrounds,"saidI,"fullofpitfallsandprecipices,yettheLordhaspersistedinmakingmountains,precipices,pitfalls,and all, and beingmade theymay as well be explored, even at the risk ofbreakingone'sneck.Wemayaswelllookeveryquestionintheface,andruneveryinquirytoitsultimate."

"Goitthen,"saidmyuncle,"andjoygowithyou;thechariotofthesunistheplaceforaprospect!Upwithyouintoit,myboy, thatkindofdrivingisinteresting;infact,whenIwasyoung,Ishouldhavelikeditmyself,butifyoudon'twanttokickupasgreatabobberyasPhætondid,you'dbettermindhisfather'sadvice:sparethewhip,andusethereinswiththosefieryhorsesofthefuture."

"But,now,"saidI,"asthefinalresultofallthis,willyouhelpCaroline?"

"Yes, Iwill; soberlyandseriously, Iwill. I'lldriveover thereandhavealittletalkwiththegirl,assoonasyou'regone."

"And,uncle,"saidI,"ifyouwish togain influencewithher,don't flatter

nor compliment; examine her, and appoint her tasks exactly as you wouldthoseof ayoungman in similar circumstances.Youwill pleaseherbest so;sheisreadytodowork,andmakeseriousstudies;sheisofathorough,earnestnature,andwilldocredittoyourteaching."

"Whatapityshewasn'tbornaboy,"saidmyuncle,underhisbreath.

"Well,letyouandmedowhatwecan,"saidI,"tobringinsuchastateofthingsinthisworldthatitshallnolongerbesaidofanywomanthatitwasapitynottohavebeenbornaman."

Subsequently I spoke tomymotheron thesamesubjectandgaveheranaccountofmyinterviewwithCaroline.

Ithinkthatmymother,inherownsecretheart,hadcherishedverymuchthesamehopesformethathadbeenexpressedbyUncleJacob.Carolinewasan uncommon person, the star of the little secluded neighborhood, and mymotherhadseenenoughofher toknowthat, thoughprincipallyabsorbed intherequirementsofaveryharddomesticsphereshepossessedanuncommoncharacterandgreatcapabilities.Betweenherandmymother,however, therehadbeen that silencewhichoftenexistsbetween twonatures,bothsensitiveandbothreticent,whoseemtoactasnon-conductorstoeachother.Carolinestooda little in aweof themoral and religious forceofmymother, andmymotherwasalittlechilledbythekeenintellectualismofCaroline.

Therearepeoplethatcannotunderstandeachotherwithoutaninterpreter,anditisnotunfrequentlyeasierformenandwomentospeakconfidentiallytoeachotherthantotheirownsex.Therearecertainaspectsinwhicheachsexissureofmorecomprehension thanfromitsown. Iserved, in thiscase,as theconnecting wire of the galvanic battery to pass the spark of sympatheticcomprehensionbetweenthesetwonatures.

My mother was one of those women naturally timid, reticent, retiring,encompassedbyphysicaldiffidenceaswithamantle—sosensitivethat,eveninanargumentwithme,thebloodwouldflushintohercheeks—yet,shehadwithal that deep, brooding, philosophical nature, which revolves all thingssilently, and with intensest interest, and comes to perfectly independentconclusionsintheirresponsible libertyofsolitude.Howmanytimeshasthisgreat noisy world been looked out on, and silently judged by these quietthoughtful women of the Virgin Mary type, who have never uttered theirmagnificat till they uttered it beyond the veil! My mother seemed to be awoman in whom religious faith had risen to that amount of certainty andsecurity, that she feared no kind of investigation or discussion, and had noprejudicesorpassionatepreferences.Thussheread theworksof themodernphysicalphilosophicalschoolwithatranquilcuriosity,andapatientanalysis,apparentlyenjoyingeverywell-turnedexpression,andreceivingwithinterest,

and weighing with deliberation every record of experiments, and everyinvestigationof facts.Her faith inher religionwas soperfect that shecouldafford all these explorations, nomore expecting herChristian hopes to fall,throughanydiscoveriesofmodernscience,thansheexpectedthesuntoceaseshining on account of the contradictory theories of astronomers. They whohave lived in communion with God have a mode of evidence unknown tophilosophers;aknowledgeatfirsthand.Inthesamemanner,thewidenessofChristiancharitygavemymotheramostCatholictolerancefornaturesunlikeherown.

"I have always believed in the doctrine of vocations," she said, as shelistenedtome;"itisoneofthosepointswheretheRomishchurchhasshownasuperior good sense in discovering and making a place for every kind ofnature."

"Caroline has been afraid to confide in you, lest you should think herstrugglestoriseaboveherdestiny,andherdissatisfactionwithit,irreligious."

"Farfromit,"saidmymother;"Iwhollysympathizewithher;peopledon'trealizewhat it is to starve faculties; theyunderstandphysical starvation,buttheslowfaintinganddyingofdesiresandcapabilitiesforwantofanythingtofeedupon, thewitheringofpowersforwantofexercise, iswhat theydonotunderstand.This iswhatCaroline is condemned to, by the fixedwill of herfather,andwhetheranymortalcanprevailwithhim,Idon'tknow."

"Youmight,dearmother,Iamsure."

"I doubt it; he has amanner that freezesme. I think in his hard, silent,interior way, he loves me, but any argument addressed to him, any directattempttochangehisopinionsandpurposeonlymakeshimharder."

"Woulditnot,then,beherrighttochoosehercoursewithouthisconsent—andagainstit?"Mymothersatwithherblueeyeslookingthoughtfullybeforeher.

"Thereisnopoint,"shesaidslowly,"thatrequiresmorecarefulhandling,todiscriminaterightfromwrong,thanthelimitsofself-sacrifice.Toacertainextentitisavirtue,andthenoblestone,buttherearerightsoftheindividualthat ought not to be sacrificed; our own happiness has its just place, and Icannotseeittobemorerighttosufferinjusticetoone'sselfthantoanother,ifonecanhelpit.Theindividualrightofself-assertionofchildagainstparentisliketherightofrevolutionintheState,adifficultonetodefine,yetarealone.Itseemstomethatoneowesit toGod,andto theworld, tobecomeall thatone can be, and to do all that one can do, and that a blind, unreasoningauthority that forbids this is to be resisted by a higher law. If Iwould helpanotherpersontoescapefromanunreasoningtyranny,Ioughttodoasmuch

formyself."

"Anddon'tyouthink,"saidI,"thatthesilentself-abnegationofsomefinenatures has done harm by increasing in those around them the habits oftyrannyandselfishness?"

"Undoubtedly," said my mother, "many wives make their husbands badChristians, and really stand in the way of their salvation, by a weak, fondsubmission, and a sort ofmorbid passion for self-sacrifice—really generousandnoblemenareoftentemptedtofatalhabitsofselfishnessinthisway."

"Thenwould it not bebetter forCaroline to summoncourage to tell herfatherexactlyhowshefeelsandviewshiscourseandhers?"

"He has a habit," saidmymother, "of cutting short any communicationfromhischildrenthatdoesn'tpleasehimbybringingdownhishandabruptlyandsaying,'Nomoreofthat,Idon'twanttohearit.'Withmeheaccomplishesthesamebyabruptly leaving theroom.Thefact is,"saidmymother,afterapause, "Imore than suspect that he set his foot on something really vital toCaroline'slife,yearsago,whenshewasquiteyoung."

"Youmeananattachment?"

"Yes.Ihadhopedthatithadbeenoutgrownorsuperseded,probablyitmaybe,butIthinksheisoneofthesortinwhichsuchanexperienceoftendestroysallchanceforanyothertocomeafterit."

"Wereyoutoldofthis?"

"Idiscovereditbyanaccident,nomatterhow.Iwasnottold,andIknowvery little, yet enough to enableme to admire thevigorwithwhich shehasmadethemostoflife,thecheerfulnessandthoroughnesswithwhichshehasaccepted hard duties. Well," she added, after a pause, "I will talk withCaroline, andwewill seewhat canbedone, and then," she added, "wecancarry thematter to a higher One, who understands all, and holds all in hishands."

Mymotherspokewithabrightassuredforceofthisresort,sacredineveryemergency.

Thiswasthelastnightofmystayathome,thenextdayIwastostartformyshiptogotoEurope.IsatuplatewritingtoCaroline,andlefttheletterinmymother'shands.

CHAPTERXII.

ILAYTHEFIRSTSTONEINMYFOUNDATION.

MystorynowopensinNewYork,whitherIamcometoseekmyfortuneasamakerandselleroftheinvisiblefabricsofthebrain.

DuringmyyearinEuropeIhaddonemybesttomakemyselfknownattheworkshopsofdifferentliteraryperiodicals,asafabricatoroftheseairywares.Itriedallsortsandsizesofarticles,fromgravetogay,fromlivelytosevere,sowing thembroadcast invariouspapers,without regard topecuniaryprofit,andtheconsequencewasthatIcamebacktoNewYorkasawriterfavorablyknown,whohadmadesomethingofaposition.Tobesuremyfootwasonthelowestroundoftheladder,butitwasontheladder,andImeanttoclimb.

"Toclimb—towhat?"In theansweramangives to thatquestionlies thewholecharacterofhislife-work.Iftoclimbbemerelytogainaname,andacompetence,ahome,awife,andchildren,withthemeansofkeepingtheminease and comfort, the question, though beset with difficulties of practicalperformance, is comparatively simple.But if in addition to this aman is tobuildhimselfupafteranidealstandard,ascarefullyasifhewereatempletostandforeternity;ifheistolendahandtohelpthatgreatlivingtemplewhichGod isperfecting inhumansociety, thequestionbecomesmorecomplicatedstill.

Ifearsomeofmyfairreadersarebythistimeimpatienttoseesomethingof"mywife."Letmetellthemfortheircomfortthatatthismoment,whenIenteredNewYorkon a drizzly, lonesomeDecember evening shewas there,fairasastar,thoughIknewitnot.Thesamemaybetrueofyou,youngman.Ifyouareever tobemarried,yourwifeisprobablynowintheworld;somehouseholdsher,andtherearemortaleyesatthishourtowhomherlineamentsare as familiar as they are unknown to you. So much for the doctrine ofpredestination.

Butat thishour that I speakof, though the lady inquestionwasa livingandblessed fact, and thoughshe lookedon the samestars, andbreathed thesame air, and trod daily the same sidewalk with myself, I was not, as Iperceive,anythewiserorbetterforitatthisparticularperiodofmyexistence.

Infact,thoughshewasinalargeparttheunperceivedspringandmotiveofallthatIdid,yetatthisparticulartimeIwassobusyinadjustingthematerialfoundationsofmylifethattheideasofmarryingandgivinginmarriagewerenever less immediately inmy thoughts. I came intoNewYork a stranger. Iknewnobodypersonally,andIhadnotimeforvisiting.

Ihadbeen,inthecourseofmywanderings,inmanycities.IhadlingeredinParis,Rome, Florence, andNaples, and,with the exception ofLondon, Inever foundaplace sodifficult tobreathe thebreathof any ideality, or anyenthusiasm,or exaltationof anydescription, asNewYork.London,with its

ponderous gloom, its sullen, mammoth, aristocratic shadows, seems tobenumb, and chill, and freeze the soul; butNewYork impressedme like agreathotfurnace,wheretwig,spray,andflowerwitherinamoment,andthelittlebirdsflyingover,dropdowndead.Myfirstimpulseinlifetherewastocover, and conceal, andhide in the deepest andmost remote caverns ofmyheartanythingthatwassacred,anddelicate,andtender,lesttheflameshouldscorchit.BalzacinhisepigrammaticmannerhascharacterizedNewYorkasthecitywherethereis"neitherfaith,hope,norcharity,"and,ashenevercamehere, I supposehemusthave takenhis impressions from thedescriptionsofunfortunatecompatriots,whohavelandedstrangersandbeenprecipitatedintotheveryrushandwhirlofitsgrindingselfishness,anditsdesperatedon't-caremanner of doing things. There is abundance of selfishness and hardness inParis, but it is concealedunder aveil of ideality.The citywooesyou like ahome, it gives you picture-galleries, fountains, gardens, and grottoes, and agood natured lounging population, who have nothing to do but makethemselvesagreeable.

ImustconfessthatmyfirstemotioninmakingmywayaboutthestreetsofNewYork,beforeIhadassociatedthemwithanyintimacyoracquaintances,was a vague sort of terror, such as one would feel at being jostled amongcannibals,whoonareasonableprovocationwouldn'thesitatetoskinhimandpick his bones. There was such a driving, merciless, fierce "take-care-of-yourself, anddevil take thehindmost"air, even to thedraysandomnibuses,and hackmen, that I had somewhat the feeling of being in an unregulatedmenagerie,notknowingatwhatmomentsomewildbeastmightspringuponme.AsIbecamemoreacquaintedinthecirclescenteringaroundthedifferentpublications,Ifeltanacrid,eager,nippingair,inwhichitappearedtomethateverybody had put on defensive armor in regard to his own innermost andmostpreciousfeelings,andlikethelobster,armedhimselfwithclawstoseizeand to tear that which came in his way. The rivalry between great literaryorganswasso intense,and thecompetitionsovivid, that theofferingofanyfloweroffancyorfeelingtoanyofthem,seemedaboutasabsurdasifamanshouldofferatea-rosebudtothebawling,shoutinghackmanthatshaketheirwhipsandscreamatthelanding.

Everything in life and death, and time and eternity, whether high asHeaven,ordeepashell,seemedtobelookedupononlyassubjectmatterforadvertisement, and material for running a paper. Hand out your wares!advertise them and seewhat theywill bring, seemed to be the only law ofproduction,atwhosebehestthemostdelicatewebsandtraceriesoffancy,themost solemn and tender mysteries of feeling, the most awful of religiousemotionscametohaveatrademarkandmarketvalue!Inshort,NewYorkisthe great business mart, the Vanity Fair of the world, where everything ispushed by advertising and competition, not even excepting the great moral

enterpriseofbringinginthemillennium;andinthefirstblastandblareofitsbusy, noisy publicity and activity, I feltmy inner spirits shrink and tremblewithdismay.Eventhereligionofthismoderncenturybearsthedeepimpressofthetrade-mark,whichcalendarsitsfinancialvalue.

IcouldnotbutthinkwhatthesweetandretiringGalilean,whointheolddayswasweary andwornwith the rush of crowds in simple old Palestine,must think if he looks down now, on the way in which his religion isadvertisedandpushedinmodernsociety.Certainitis,ifitbethekingdomofGodthatiscominginourtimes,itiscomingwithverygreatobservation,andpeoplehavelongsinceforgottheideathattheyarenottosay"Lo,here!"and"Lo, there!"since that ispreciselywhata largepartof theworldaregettingtheirlivingbydoing.

These ideas Imustconfessborewithgreatweightonmymind,as Ihadjustpartedfrommymother,whoselastwordswerethatwhateverelseIdid,andwhetherIgainedanythingforthislifeornot,shetrustedthatIwouldliveanhumble,self-denying,Christianlife.ImustownthatforthefirstfewweeksoflookingintotheinteriormanagementofliterarylifeinNewYork,theideaat times often seemed to me really ludicrous. To be humble, yet to seeksuccessinsocietywhereitisthefirstdutytocrowfrommorningtillnight,andtopraise,andvaunt,andglorify,atthetopofone'slungs,one'sownparty,orpaper, or magazine, seemed to me sufficiently amusing. However, inconformity with a solemn promise made to my mother, I lost no time inunitingmyselfwith aChristianbody,ofmy father'sowndenomination, andpresentedaletterfromtheChurchinHighlandtothebrethrenoftheBethanyChurch.

And here I will say that for a young man who wants shelter, andnourishmentand shade for thedevelopmentofhis finemoral sensibilities, abreakwatertokeepthewavesofmaterialismfromdashingoveranddrowninghishigher life, there isnothingbetter, asyet tobe found, thanaunionwithsomeone of themany bodies of differing names and denominations callingthemselvesChristianChurches.AChristianChurch,accordingtotheverybestdefinition of the name ever yet given, is a congregation of faithful men inwhichthepurewordofGodispreached,andthesacramentsdulyministeredaccording to Christ's ordinance; and making due allowance for all theignorance,andprejudice,andmistakes,andeventhewillfulhypocrisy,which,ashumannature is,mustalwaysexist insuchconnections, Imustsay that Ithink theseChurches are thebest formof socialmoral culture yet invented,andnottobedispensedwithtillsomethingmorefullyansweringthepurposehasbeentestedforaslongatimeasthey.

These are caravans that cross thehot andweary sandsof life, andwhiletheremaybewranglingandundesirableadministrationattimeswithinthem,

yet, after all, the pilgrim that undertakes alone is but a speck in the widedesert,toooftenblownaway,andwitheringliketheleafbeforethewind.

The great congregation of theBethany on Sabbath days, all standing uptogether and joining in mighty hymn-singing, though all were outwardlyunknown to me, seemed to thrill my heart with a sense of solemncompanionship,inmyearliestandmostsacredreligiousassociations.Itwasacongregationlargelymadeupofyoungmen,wholikemyselfwerestrangers,awayfromhomeandfriends,andwhosehearts, touchedandwarmedby thefamiliarsounds,seemedtosendforthmagneticodorsliketheinterlockedpinetreesunderthewarmsunshineofaJuneday.

I have long felt that hewhowouldwork his brain for a living, withoutprematurewearupontheorgan,musthaveSundayplacedasasacredbarrierofentireoblivion,sofaraspossible,ofthecourseofhisweek-daycares.Andwhat oblivion can bemore complete than to rise on the wings of religiousordinanceintotheregionofthosedivinerfacultiesbywhichmanrecognizeshisheirshiptoallthatisinGod?

InlikemannerIfoundanoasisinthehotandhurriedcourseofmyweek-day life, by dropping in to the weekly prayer-meeting. The large, bright,pleasant room seemed so social and home-like, the rows of cheerful, well-dressed,thoughtfulpeople,seemed,evenbeforeIknewoneofthem,fatherly,motherly, brotherly, and sisterly, as they joined with the piano in familiarhymn-singing,whilethepastorsatamongthemasafatherinhisfamily,andeasy social conversation went on with regard to the various methods andaspectsofthepracticalreligiouslife.

Tome, a stranger, and naturally shy and undemonstrative, this socialismwas in the highest degree warming and inspiring. I do not mean to set thepraiseofthisChurchabovethatofahundredothers,withwhichImighthavebecomeconnected,but Iwill say thathere Imet the typesof someof thosegood old-fashioned Christians that Hawthorne celebrates in his "CelestialRailroad," under the name ofMessrs. "Stick to the Right," and "Foot it toHeaven,"menbetterknownamongthepoorandafflictedthaninfashionableor literary circles, men who, without troubling their heads about muchspeculation,arefootingit toHeavenontheold,time-worn,narrowway,andcarryingwiththemasmanyastheycaninducetogo.

Having thusprovidedagainstbeingdrawndownandutterly swamped inthe bread-and-subsistence struggle that was before me, I sought to gain aposition in connection with some paper in New York. I had offers underconsideration fromseveralof them.Theconductorsof"TheMoralSpoutingHorn" had conversed with me touching their projects, and I had also beenfurnishing letters for the "GreatDemocracy," andoneof theproprietorshad

invitedmetoaprivatedinner, Isupposefor thepurposeof lookingmeoverandtryingmypacesbeforeheconcludedtopurchaseme.

Mr.Goldstickwasaflorid,middle-agedman,withaslightlybaldhead,aneasyportlinessofmanner, and that air of comfortablepatronagewhichmenwhoareupintheworldsometimescarrytowardsyoungaspirants.Itwashispolicyandhiswaytoputhimselfatonceonafootingofequalitywiththem,easy,jolly,andfree;justlythinkingthattherebyhegainedamoreunguardedinsightintotheinnercitadeloftheirnature,andcouldseeintheeasyplayoftheir faculties just about how much they could be made to answer hispurposes.Ihadachatty,merrydinnerof it,andfoundallmynativeshynessmeltingawayunderhischarmingaffability.Infact,duringthelatterpartofthetime,Ialmost felt that Icouldhave toldhimanything that Icouldhave toldmyownmother.Whatdidwenottalkaboutthatisofinterestinthesestirringtimes?Philosophy,history,science,religion,life,death,andimmortality—allreceived the most graceful off-hand treatment, and were discussed with asingular unanimity of sentiment—that unanimity which always takes placewhenthepartnerinadiscussionhasthecontrollingpurposetobeofthesamemindasyourself.When,underthewarmandsunnyairofthisgenialnature,Ihadfullyexpanded,andconfidencewasinfullblossom,cametheimmediatebusinessconversationinrelationtothepaper.

"Iamrejoiced,"saidMr.Goldstick,"inthesedaysofskepticismtocomeacrossayoungmanwithrealreligiousconvictions.Iamnot,Iregrettosay,areligiousprofessormyself,butIappreciateit,Mr.Henderson,astheelementmostwantinginourmodernlife."

HereMr.Goldsticksighedandrolleduphiseyes,andtookaglassofwine.

I felt encouraged in this sympathetic atmosphere to unfold to him mysomewhatidealizedviewsofwhatmightbeaccomplishedbythedailypress,byeditorsastrulyundermoralvowsandconsecrations,astheclergymenwhoministeredatthealtar.

He caught the idea frommewith enthusiasm, andwent on to expand itwithavigorand richnessof imagery, and to illustrate itwithaprofusionofincidents, which left me far behind him, gazing after him with reverentialadmiration.

"Mr. Henderson," said he, "The Great Democracy is not primarily amoney-making enterprise—it is a great moral engine; it is for the greatAmerican people, and it contemplates results which look to the completeregenerationofsociety."

IventuredheretoremarkthatthesameobjecthadbeenstatedtomebytheMoralSpoutingHorn.

Hiscountenanceassumedatonceanexpressionofintensedisgust.

"Is itpossible,"hesaid,"that thecharlatanhasbeentryingtogetholdofyou?Mydear fellow,"headded,drawingnear tomewithaconfidentialair,"of course Iwould be the lastman to infringe on the courtesies due tomybrethrenofthepress,andyoumustbeawarethatourpresentconversationistobeconsideredstrictlyconfidential."

IassuredhimwithfervorthatIshouldconsideritso.

"Well, then," he said, "between ourselves, I may say that The MoralSpoutingHorn isahumbug.Onmature reflection,"headded, "Idon'tknowbut duty requiresme to go farther, and say, in the strictest confidence, youunderstand,thatIconsiderTheMoralSpoutingHornaswindle."

Here it occurred tome that the same communication had beenmade inequalconfidence,bytheproprietorofTheMoralSpoutingHorninrelationtoThe Great Democracy. But, much as I was warmed into confidence by thegenialatmosphereofmyfriend,Ihadstillenoughprudencetoforbearmakingthisstatement.

"Now," saidhe, "myyoung friend, indevotingyourself to the serviceofTheGreatDemocracyyoumayconsideryourselfasservingthecauseofGodandmankindinwaysthatnoclergymanhasanequalchanceofdoing.Besidethepress,sir,thepulpitiseffete.Itis,sotospeak,"headded,withasweepoftherighthand,"nowhere.Ofcoursetheresponsibilitiesofconductingsuchanorganaretremendous,tremendous,"headded,reflectively,asIlookedathimwith awe; "and that is why I require in my writers, above all things, theclearestandfirmestmoralconvictions.Sir,itisacriticalperiodinourhistory;thereisanamountofcorruptioninthisnationthatthreatensitsdissolution;theChurchandthePulpithaveprovedentirelyinadequatetostemit.ItrestswiththePress."

Therewasasolemnpause,inwhichnothingwasheardbuttheclinkofthedecanterontheglass,ashepouredoutanotherglassofwine.

"Itisagreatresponsibility,"Iremarked,withasigh.

"Enormous!"headded,withalmostagroan,eyeingmesternly."Consider,"hewenton,"theevilsof the tremendouslycorrupted literaturewhich isnowbeingpoureduponthecommunity.Sir,wearefastdriftingtodestruction,itisa solemn fact. The publicmindmust be aroused and strengthened to resist;theymust be taught to discriminate; theremust be a just standard ofmoralcriticism no less than of intellectual, and that must be attended to in ourpaper."

Iwas delighted to find his views in such accordancewithmy own, and

assuredhimIshouldbeonlytoohappytodowhatIcouldtoforwardthem.

"Wehavebeencharmedanddelighted,"hesaid,"withyourcontributionshitherto;theyhaveahighmoraltoneandhavebeendeservedlypopular,anditisourdesiretosecureyouasastatedcontributorinasemi-editorialcapacity,looking towards future developments.Wewish that itwere in our power topay a more liberal sum than we can offer, but you must be aware, Mr.Henderson, that great moral enterprises must always depend, in a certaindegree,ontheelementofself-sacrificeinitspromoters."

I reflected, at this moment, on my father's life, and assented withenthusiasm—remarkingthat"ifIcouldonlygetenoughtofurnishmewiththenecessariesoflifeIshouldbedelightedtogointothegloriousworkwithhim,andgivetoitthewholeenthusiasmofmysoul."

"Youhavetherightspirit,youngman,"hesaid."Itisdelightfultowitnessthisfreshnessofmoralfeeling."Andthus,beforeourinterviewwasclosed,IhadsignedacontractofservicetoMr.Goldstick,atverymoderatewages,butmy heart was filled with exulting joy at the idea of the possibilities of thesituation.

Iwasyoung,andardent;Ididnot,atthismoment,wanttomakemoneysomuch as to make myself felt in the great world. It was the very spirit ofPhæton; Iwanted tohaveahandon the reins,anda touchof thewhip,andguidethefieryhorsesofProgress.

I had written stories, and sung songs, but I was not quite content withthose;IwantedtheanonymouspulpitoftheEditortospeakin,theopportunityofbeingthedailyinvisiblecompanionandcounselorofthousandsabouttheirdailypaths.Theoffer ofMr.Goldstick, as I understood it, looked thatway,andIresolvedtodeservesowellofhimbyunlimiteddevotiontotheinterestsofthepaper,thatheshouldopenmywaybeforeme.

CHAPTERXIII.

BACHELORCOMRADES.

Isoonbecamewellacquaintedwithmycollaboratorsonthepaper.Itwasapleasant surprise tobegreeted in the foregroundby the familiar faceof JimFellows,myoldcollegeclass-mate.

Jimwasanagreeablecreature,bornwithadecidedgeniusforgossip.Hehad in perfection the facultywhich phrenologists call individuality.Hewasstatisticalintheverymarrowofhisbones,apparentlyimbibingalltheexternal

factsofeverypersonandeverythingaroundhim,byakindofrapidinstinct.Incollege, Jim always knew all about every student; he knew all abouteverybody in the little town where the college was situated, their name,history, character, business, their front door and their back door affairs. Nobirth,marriage,ordeathevertookJimbysurprise;healwaysknewallaboutitlongago.

Now, as anewspaper is agossipmarketon a large scale, this speciesoftalentoftengoesfartherinourmodernliterarylifethanthedeepestreflectionorthehighestculture.

Jimwas the best-natured fellowbreathing; itwas impossible to ruffle ordisturb theeasy, rattling,chattering flowofhisanimalspirits.Hewas likeaFrenchman in his power of bright, airy adaptation to circumstances, anddeterminationandabilitytomakethemostofthem.

"How lucky!" he said, the morning I first shook hands with him at theofficeoftheGreatDemocracy;"youarejustontheminute;theverylodgingyouwant has been vacated thismorning by old Styles; sunny room—southwindows—closebyhere—water,gas,andsoon,allcorrect;and,bestofall,meforyouroppositeneighbor."

I went round with him, looked, approved, and was settled at once, Jimhelping me with all the good-natured handiness and activity of old collegedays. We had a rattling, gay morning, plunging round into auction-rooms,bargainingforsecond-handfurniture,andwithsomuchzealdidwedriveourenterprise,secondedbytheco-laborsofawhomJimpatronized,thatbynightI found myself actually settled in a home of my own, making tea in Jim'spatentbachelortea-kettle,andtalkingoverhisandmyaffairswiththefreedomofoldcronies.Jimmadenoscrupleininquiringinthemostdirectmannerasto the terms of my agreement with Mr. Goldstick, and opened the subjectsuccinctly,asfollows:

"Now,myson,youmustletyouroldgrandfatheradviseyoualittleaboutyourtemporalities.Inthefirstplace;what'sOldSoapygoingtogiveyou?"

"IfyoumeanMr.Goldstick,"saidI——

"Yes,"saidhe,"callhim'Soapy'forshort.Didhecomedownhandsomelyontheterms?"

"Hisofferswerenotas largeasIshouldhaveliked;but then,ashesaid,this paper is not a money-making affair, but a moral enterprise, and I amwillingtoworkforless."

"Moralgrandmother!" said Jim, ina toneofunlimiteddisgust. "Hebe—choked, as it were. Why, Harry Henderson, are your eye-teeth in such a

retrogradestateasthat?Why,thispaperisafortunetothatman;helivesinapalace,ownsapicturegallery,androllsaboutinhisowncarriage."

"Iunderstoodhim,"saidI,"thatthepaperwasnotimmediatelyprofitableinapecuniarypointofview."

"Soapycallseverythingunprofitablethatdoesnotyieldhimfiftypercent.on the money invested. Talk of moral enterprise!What did he engage youfor?"

Istatedtheterms.

"Forhowlong?"

"Foroneyear."

"Well, the best you can do is to work it out now. Never make anotherbargainwithout asking your grandfather.Why, he paysme just double; andyouknow,Harry,Iamnothingatallofawritercomparedtoyou.Butthen,tobesure,Ifillaplaceyou'vereallynotalentfor."

"Whatisthat?"

"Generalprofessorofhumbug,"saidJim."Nosortofbusinessgetsoninthisworldwithout that,andI'marealgenius in that line. ImadeOldSoapycome down, by threatening to 'rat,' and go to the Spouting Horn, and theycouldn'tafford to letmedo that.Yousee, I'vebeenup theirbackstairs,andknowall their littlefamilysecrets.TheSpoutingHornwouldgivetheireye-teethforme.It'stoofunny,"hesaid,throwinghimselfbackandlaughing.

"Arethesepapersrivals?"saidI.

"Well,Ishould'rayther'thinktheywere,"saidhe,eyeingmewithanairofsuperiority amounting almost to contempt. "Why, man, the thing that I'mparticularly valuable for is, that I always know just what will plague theSpouting Horn folks the most. I know precisely where to stick a pin or aneedle into them; and one great object of our paper is to show that theSpoutingHorn isalways in thewrong.Nomatterwhat topic isuppermost, Iattendtothat,andgetoffsomethingonthem.Foryousee, theyarepopular,andmakemoneylikethunder,and,ofcourse,thatisn'ttobeallowed.Now,"headded,pointingwithhisthumbupward,"overhead,thereisreallyourbestfellow—Bolton.BoltonissaidtobethebestwriterofEnglishinourday;he'sanANo.1,andnomistake;tremendouslyeducated,andallthat,andheknowsexactly to a shavingwhat'swhat everywhere; he's agentleman, too;wecallhimtheDominie.Well,Boltonwritesthegreatleaders,andfiresoffonalltheawful and solemn topics, and lays off the politics of Europe and theworldgenerally.Whenthere'sarowoverthereinEurope,Boltonismagnificentoneditorials.You see, he has the run of all the rows they have had there, and

everybobbery thathasbeenkickedupsince theChristianera.He'll tellyouwhattheFrenchdidin1700this,andtheGermansin1800that,andofcourseheprophesiessplendidlyonwhat'stoturnupnext."

"Isupposetheygivehimlargepay,"saidI.

"Well,yousee,Bolton'saquietfellowandagentleman—onethathatestojaw—andismodest,andsotheykeephimalongsteadyonabouthalfwhatIwouldgetoutof themifIwere inhisskin.Boltonisperfectlysatisfied.If Iwerehe,Ishouldn'tbe,yousee.Isay,Harry,Iknowyou'dlikehim.Letmebring him down and introduce him," and before I could either consent orrefuse,Jimrattledupstairs,andIheardhiminanearnest,persuasive treaty,andsoonhecamedownwithhiscaptive.

I sawamanof thirty-threeor thereabouts, tall,well formed,withbright,darkeyes,strongly-markedfeatures,afinely-turnedhead,andclosely-croppedblackhair.HehadwhatIshouldcallpresence—somethingthatimpressedme,as he entered the room, with the idea of a superior kind of individuality,though he was simple in his manners, with a slight air of shyness andconstraint.Theblood flushed inhischeeksashewas introduced tome,andtherewasatremulousmotionabouthisfinely-cutlips,betokeningsuppressedsensitiveness. The first sound of his voice, as he spoke, struck on my earagreeably, like thetonesofafine instrument,and,reticentandretiringasheseemed,Ifeltmyselfsingularlyattractedtowardhim.

What impressed me most, as he joined in the conversation with myrattling, freeandeasy,good-naturedneighbor,wasanairofpatient, amusedtolerance.Hestruckmeasamanwhohadmadeuphismindtoexpectnothingandasknothingoflife,andwhowassittingitoutpatiently,asonesitsoutadull play at the theater. He was disappointed with nobody, and angry withnobody, while he seemed to have no confidence in anybody. With all thisapparent reserve, hewas simply and frankly cordial tome, as a new-comerandafellow-workeronthesamepaper.

"Mr.Henderson,"hesaid,"Ishallbegladtoextendtoyouthehospitalitiesofmyden, suchas theyare. If I canat any time renderyouanyassistance,don'thesitate touseme.Perhapsyouwould like towalkupand lookatmybooks?Ishallbeonlytoohappytoputthematyourdisposal."

Wewentup into a little attic roomwhosewallswere literally linedwithbooksonallsides,onlyallowingspaceforthetwosoutherlywindowswhichoverlookedthecity.

"Iliketobehighintheworld,yousee,"hesaid,withasmile.

The roomwas not a large one, and the center was occupied by a largetable,coveredwithbooksandpapers.Acheerfulcoal-firewasburninginthe

littlegrate,alargeleatherarm-chairstoodbeforeit,and,withoneortwootherchairs,completedthefurnitureoftheapartment.Asmall,lightedcloset,whosedoorstoodopenontheroom,displayedapalletbedofmonasticsimplicity.

Thereweretwooccupantsoftheapartmentwhoseemedestablishedtherebyrightofpossession.AlargeMaltesecat,withgreat,goldeneyes,liketwofull moons, sat gravely looking into the fire, in one corner, and a veryplebeian,scrubbymongrel,whoappearedtohaveknownthehardsideoflifeinformerdays,wasdozingintheother.

Apparently,thesegeniilociweresostrongintheirsenseofpossessionthatour entrance gave them no disturbance. The dog unclosed his eyes with asleepywinkaswecame in, and then shut themagain,dreamily, as satisfiedthatallwasright.

Boltoninvitedustositdown,anddidthehonorsofhisroomwithaquietelegance, as if it hadbeen a palace insteadof an attic.As soon aswewereseated, thecatsprangfamiliarlyon the tableandsatdowncosilybyBolton,rubbingherheadagainsthiscoat-sleeve.

"Letme introduceyou tomywife," saidBolton, strokingherhead. "Eh,Jenny,whatnow?"headded,assheseizedhishandsplayfullyinherteethandclaws. "You see, she has the connubial weapons," he said, "and insists onbeingtreatedwithattention;butshe'scapitalcompany.Ireadallmyarticlestoher,andshenevermakesanunjustcriticism."

Pusssoonsteppedfromherperchonthetableandensconcedherselfinhislap,whileIwentroundexamininghisbooks.

The library showedvariedandcurious tastes.Thebookswerealmost allrare.

"I have alwaysmade a rule," he said, "never to buy a book that I couldborrow."

I was amused, in the course of the conversation, at the relations whichapparentlyexistedbetweenhimandJimFellows,whichappearedtometobeverylikewhatmightbesupposedtoexistbetweenaphilosopherandalivelypetsquirrel—itwastheperfectionofquiet,amusedtolerance.

Jim seemed to be not in the slightest degree under constraint in hispresence,andrattledonwithafreeandeasyslangfamiliarity,preciselyashehaddonewithme.

"Whatdoyou thinkOldSoapyhasengagedHal for?"hesaid. "Why,heonlyoffershim—"Herefollowedthestatementofterms.

Iwasannoyedatthismatter-of-factwayofhandlingmyprivateaffairs,butonmeeting the eyes ofmy new friend I discerned a glance of quiet humor

which re-assuredme.He seemed to regard Jimonly as another formof theinevitable.

"Don'tyouthinkitisaconfoundedtake-in?"saidJim.

"Of course," saidMr. Bolton, with a smile, "but he will survive it. Theplace is only one of the stepping-stones.Meanwhile," he said, "I thinkMr.Hendersoncanfindothermarkets forhis literarywares,andmoreprofitableones.Ithink,"headded,whilethebloodagainroseinhischeeks,"thatIhavesomeinfluenceincertainliteraryquarters,andIshallbehappytodoallthatIcantosecuretohimthatwhichheoughttoreceiveforsuchcarefulworkasthis.Yourlaboronthepaperwillnotbyanymeanstakeupyourwholepowerortime."

"Well,"saidJim,"thefactisthesamealltheworldover—thepeoplethatgrowathingarethosethatgettheleastforit.Itisn'tyourfarmers,thatworkearly and late, that get rich by what they raise out of the earth, it's themiddlemenand thehucksters.And just so it is in literature;and thebetterafellowwrites,and themoreworkheputs into it, the lesshegetspaidfor it.Why,now, lookatme,"hesaid,perchinghimselfastride thearmofachair,"I'm a genuine literary humbug, but I'll bet you I'llmakemoremoney thaneitherofyou,because,yousee,I'venomodestyandnoconscience.Confounditall,thoseareluxuriesthatapoorfellowcan'taffordtokeep.I'masoundingbrassanda tinklingcymbal,but I'm just the sortof fellow theworldwants,and,hangit,theyshallpaymeforbeingthatsortoffellow.Imeantomakeitshellout,andyouseeifIdon't.I'llbetyou,now,thatI'dwriteabookthatyouwouldn't, either of you, be hired to write, and sell one hundred thousandcopiesofit,andputthemoneyinmypocket,marrythehandsomest,richest,andbesteducatedgirl inNewYork,whileyouare trudgingon,doinggood,carefulwork,asyoucallit."

"Rememberusinyourwill,"saidI.

"Oh, yes, I will," he said. "I'll found an asylum for decayed authors ofmerit—asortofliterary'HoteldesInvalides.'"

We had a hearty laugh over this idea, and, on the whole, our eveningpassedoffverymerrily.WhenIshookhandswithBoltonforthenight,itwaswithasilentconvictionofaninterioraffinitybetweenus.

Itisacharmingthinginone'sramblestocomeacrossatree,oraflower,orafinebitoflandscapethatonecanthinkofafterward,andfeelricherfortheiritsintheworld.Butitismorewhenoneisinastrangeplace,tocomeacrossaman that you feel thoroughly persuaded is, somehow or other, morally andintellectually worth exploring. Our lives tend to become so hopelesslycommonplace,andthehumanbeingswemeetaregenerallysomuchonejust

likeanother,thatthepossibilityofanewandpeculiarstyleofcharacterinanacquaintanceisamostenliveningone.

TherewassomethingaboutBoltonbothstimulatingandwinning,andIlaydownlessastrangerthatnightthanIhadbeensinceIcametoNewYork.

CHAPTERXIV.

HAPSANDMISHAPS.

I entered upon my new duties with enthusiasm, and produced someeditorials,forwhichIwascomplimentedbyMr.Goldstick.

"That'sthekindofthingwanted!"hesaid;"afirm,moraltone,andsteadyreligiousconvictions;thatpleasestheoldstandards."

Emboldened by this I proceeded to attack a specific abuse inNewYorkadministration,whichhadstruckmeasneedingtobeatoncerighted.Ifeveramoraltrumpetoughttohaveitsvoice,itwasonthissubject.IreadmyarticletoBolton;infactIhadgraduallyfallenintothehabitofreferringmyselftohisjudgment.

"Itisallperfectlytrue,"heremarked,whenIhadfinished,whileheleanedback in his chair and stroked his cat, "but they neverwill put that into thepaper,intheworld."

"Why!" said I, "if ever there was an abuse that required exposing, it isthis."

"Precisely!"hereplied.

"Andwhatistheuse,"Iwenton,"ofgeneralmoralpreachingthatisneverappliedtoanyparticularcase?"

"The use," he replied calmly, "is that that kind of preaching pleaseseverybody,andincreasessubscribers,whiletheotherkindmakesenemies,anddecreasesthem."

"Andyoureallythinkthattheywon'tputthisarticlein?"saidI.

"I'mcertaintheywon't,"hereplied."Thefactisthispaperisboughtuponthe other side. Messrs. Goldstick and Co. have intimate connection withMessrs.BunkamandChaffem,whoarepartandparcelofthisveryaffair."

Iopenedmymouthwithastonishment."ThenGoldstickisahypocrite,"Isaid.

"Notconsciously,"heanswered,calmly.

"Why!"saidI,"youwouldhavethoughtbythewayhetalkedtomethathehadnothingsomuchatheartasthemoralprogressofsociety,andwasreadytosacrificeeverythingtoit."

"Well,"saidBolton,quietly,"didyouneverseeawomanwhothoughtshewashandsome,whenshewasnot?Didyouneverseeamanwhothoughthewas witty, when he was only scurrilous and impudent? Did you never seepeoplewho flattered themselves theywere frank, because theywere obtuseand impertinent? And cannot you imagine that a man may think himself aphilanthropist, when he is only a worshiper of the golden calf? That samecalf," he continued, stroking his cat till she purred aloud, "has the largestChurchofanyonearth."

"Well,"saidI,"atanyrateI'llhanditin."

"Youcandoso,"hereplied,"andthatwillbethelastyouwillhearofit.Yousee,I'vebeenthiswaybeforeyou,andIhavelearnedtosavemyselftimeandtroubleonthesesubjects."

TheresultwaspreciselyasBoltonpredicted.

"Wemustbea littlecareful,myyoungfriend,"saidMr.Goldstick,"howwe handle specificmatters of this kind; they have extended relations that ayoung man cannot be expected to appreciate, and I would advise you toconfineyourself toabstractmoralprinciples;keepupahighmoralstandard,sir,andthingswillcomerightofthemselves.Now,sir,ifyoucouldexposethecorruptions in England it would have an admirable moral effect, and ourgenerallineofpolicynowisdownonEngland."

A day or two after, however, I fell into serious disgrace. A part of mydutiesconsistedinreviewingthecurrentliteratureoftheday;Bolton,Jim,andI, tookthatdepartmentamongus,andIsoonlearnedtosympathizewith thetea-tasters,whoaresaid toruin theirdigestionbyan incessant tastingof thedifferentqualitiesoftea.Theenormousquantityandvarietyofmagazinesandbooks that I had to "sample" in a fewdays broughtme into such a state ofmentaldyspepsia,thatIbegantowisheverybookintheRedSea.IreallywasbroughttoconsidertheusualpleasandtoneofbooknoticesinAmericatobeevidenceofahighdegreeofChristianforbearance.Inlookingovermyshare,however, I fell upon a novel of themodern, hot, sensuous school, inwhichglowingcoloringanda sortof religious sentimentalismwere thrownaroundactionsandprincipleswhichtendeddirectlytothedissolutionofsociety.HerewasexactlytheopportunitytostemthattideofcorruptionagainstwhichMr.Goldsticksosolemnlyhadwarnedme.Imadetheanalysisofthebookatextfor exposing the whole class of principles and practices it inculcated, and

utteringmywarningagainstcorruptliterature;Isentittothepaper,andinitwent.AdayortwoafterMr.Goldstickcameintotheofficeingreatdisorder,withanopenletterinhishand.

"What'sallthis?"hesaid;"here'sSilleryandPeacham,blowingusupforbeing down on their books, and threatening to take away their advertisingfromus."

Nobody seemed to know anything about it, till finally the matter wastracedbacktome.

"Itwasacorruptbook,Mr.Goldstick,"saidI,withfirmness,"andtheveryobjectyoustatedtomewastoestablishajustmoralcriticism."

"Go to thunder! youngman," saidMr. Goldstick, in a tone I had neverheardbefore."Haveyounodiscrimination?areyougoingtoblowusup?TheGreat Democracy, sir, is a great moral engine, and the advertising of thispublishinghousegivesthousandsofdollarsyearlytowardsitssupport.It'sanunderstood thing that Sillery and Peacham's books are to be treatedhandsomely."

"I say, Captain," said Jim,who came up behind us at this time, "letmemanage thismatter; I'll straighten itout;SilleryandPeachamknowme,andI'llfixitwiththem."

"Come!Hal,myboy!" he said, hookingmeby the arm, and leadingmeout.

Wewalkedtoourlodgingstogether.Iwasgloriouslyindignantalltheway,butJimlaughedtillthetearsrolleddownhischeeks.

"YousweetbabeofEden,"saidhe,asweenteredmyroom,"dogetquiet!I'll sit right down andwrite a letter from the Boston correspondent on thatbook, saying that your article has created amost immense sensation in theliterary circles of Boston, in regard to its moral character, and exhorteverybody to rush to thebook-storeandsee for themselves.Now, 'hush,mydear,liestillandslumber,'whileIdoit."

"Why,doyoumeantogotoBoston?"saidI.

"Only in spirit, my dear. Bless you! did you suppose that the Bostoncorrespondents, or any other correspondents, are there, or anywhere else infact, that theyprofess tobe? I toldyou that Iwas theprofessorofhumbug.Thislittleaffairliesstrictlyinmydepartment."

"Jim!"saidI,solemnly,"Idon'twanttobeinsuchanetworkofchicanery."

"Oh,come,Hal,nobodyelsewantstobejustwheretheyare,andafterall,it's none of your business; you and Bolton are great moral forty-pounders.

Whenweget youpointed the rightway for thepaper you can roar and fireawayatyourleisure,andthemoraleffectwillbeprodigious.I'myourflying-artillery—allover thefieldeverywhere,pop,andoffagain;andwhat is it toyouwhatIdo?Nowyousee,Hal,youmustjusthavesomegenerallinesaboutyourwork; the fact is, I ought to have told you before. There's Sillery andPeacham'sbookshavegottobeputstraightalong:youseethereisnomistakeaboutthat;andwhenyouandBoltonfindoneyoucan'tpraisehonestly,turnitovertome.Then,again,there'sBurillandBangem'sbookshavegottobeputdown.Theyhadarowwithus lastyear,andturnedover theiradvertisingtotheSpoutingHorn.Now,ifyouhappentofindabadnovelamongtheirbooksshowitup,cutintoitwithoutmercy;itwillgiveyoujustasgoodachancetopreach,withyourmuzzlepointedtherightway,anddoexactlyasmuchgood.Youseethere'severythingwithyoufellowsingettingyoupointedright."

"But,"saidI,"Jim,thiscourseisutterlysubversiveofalljustcriticism.Itmakesbooknoticesgoodfornothing."

"Well,theyarenotgoodformuch,"saidJimreflectively."Isometimespityapoordevilwhosefirstbookhasbeenallcutup,justbecauseGoldstick'shadarowwithhispublishers.Butthenthere'sthiscomfort—whatwerundown,theSpoutingHornwillrunup,soitisaboutasbroadasitislong.Thenthere'sourMagazines.We'reinwiththeRockyMountainsnow—we'vebeenoutwiththemforayearortwoandcutupalltheirarticles.Nowyouseewearein,andtherule is, tobeginat thebeginningandpraise themallstraight through,soyou'll have plain sailing there. Then there's the Pacific—you are to pick onthat all you can. I think youhad better leave that tome. I have a talent forsayinglittleprovokingthingsthatgallpeople,andthattheycan'tanswer.Thefactis,thePacifichasgottocomedownalittle,andcometoourterms,beforeweareciviltoit."

"JimFellows"—Ibegan,

"Come,come,goandletoff toBolton, ifyouhavegotanythingmoretosay;"headded,"IwanttowritemyBostonletter.Yousee,Hal,Ishallbringyououtwithflyingcolors,andgetabettersaleforthebookthanifyouhadn'twritten."

"Jim,"saidI,"I'mgoingtogetoutofthispaper."

"Andpray,mydearSir,whatwillyougetinto?"

"I'llgetintooneofthereligiouspapers."

Jimuponthisleanedback,kickeduphisheels,andlaughedaloud."Icouldhelpyouthere,"hesaid."Idotheliteraryforthreereligiousnewspapersnow.These solemn oldDons are so busy about their tweedle-dums and tweedle-dees of justification and election, baptismand churchgovernment, that they

don'tknowanythingaboutcurrentliterature,andgetusfellowstowritetheirbooknotices. I rather think that they'd stare if they should read someof thebooksthatwepuffup.Itellyou,Christy'sMinstrelsarenothingtoit.Thinkofit, Hal,—the solemn Holy Sentinel with a laudatory criticism of DanteRosetti's"Jenny"init—andtheTrumpetofZionwithacommendatorynoticeofGeorgesSand'snovels."HereJimlaughedwithafreshimpulse."Youseethedear,goodsoulsarealtogethertoopioustoknowanythingaboutit,andsoweliberalizethepapers,andthepublishersmakeusalittleconsiderationforgettingtheirbooksstartedinreligiouscircles."

"Well,Jim,"saidI,"Iwanttojustaskyou,doyouthinkthissortofthingisright?"

"Blessyoursoulnow!"saidJim,"ifyouaregoingtobeginwiththat,hereinNewYork,whereareyougoingtoend—'Wheredoyou'specttodiewhenyougoto?'—astheolddarkeysaid."

"Well,"saidI,"wouldyouliketohaveDanteRosetti's"Jenny"putintothehands of your sister or younger brother, recommended by a religiousnewspaper?"

"Well, to tell the truth,Hal, Ididn'twrite thosenotices.Bill Joneswrotethem. Bill's up to anything. You know every person in England and thiscountry have praised Dante Rosetti, and particularly "Jenny," and religiouspapersmayaswellbeoutoftheworldasoutoffashion,—andsomothersheboughtacopyforaChristmaspresenttosisterNell.AndItellyouifIdidn'tgetagoingoveraboutit!"

"IshowedherthearticleintheHolySentinel,butitdidn'tdoabitofgood.ShemademepromiseIwouldn'twriteitup,andIneverhave.Shesaiditwasashame.Youseemotherisn'tuptothetalkabouthighart,that'sgotupnowadays about Dante Rosetti and Swinburne, and those. I thought myself that"Jenny"wascomingitprettystrong,—andhonestnow,Inevercouldseethesenseinit.ButthenyouseeIamnotartistic.Ifafellowshouldtellastoryofthatkind tomysister, Ishouldhorsewhiphim,andkickhimdownthefrontsteps.Buthedressesitupinpoetry,anditliesaroundonpiouspeople'stables,and nobody dares to say aword because it's "artistic." People are so afraidtheyshallnotbesupposedtounderstandwhathighartis,thatthey'llknuckledownundermostanything.That'sthekindofworldwelivein.Well!Ididn'tmake theworld and I don't govern it.But theworld owesme a living, andhangit!itshallgivemeone.SoyougouptoBolton,andleavemetodomywork;I'vegottowritecolumns,andthentrampouttothatconfoundedwater-color exhibition, because I promisedSnooks a puff,—I shan't get to bed tilltwelveorone.Itellyouit'ssteeponafellownow."

IwentuptoBolton,boiling,andbubblingandseething,withthespiritof

sixteen reformers in my veins. The scene, as I opened the door, wassufficientlytranquilizing.Boltonsatreadingbythesideofhisshadedstudy-lamp,withhiscatasleepinhislap;theill-favoreddog,beforementioned,wasplantedbyhisside,withhisnoseupturned,surveyinghimwithafullnessofdoggish adoration and complacency, which made his rubbishly shop-wornfigurequiteanaffectingiteminthepicture.Croucheddownonthefloorinthecorner,wasaragged,unkempt,freckled-facedlittleboy,busydoingasumonaslate.

"Ah!oldfellow,"hesaid,ashe lookedupandsawme."Comein; there,there,Snubby,"hesaidtothedog,pushinghimgentlyintohiscorner;"letthegentlemansitdown.Youseeyoufindmesurroundedbymyfamily,"hesaid."Waitoneminute,"headded,turningtotheboyinthecorner,andtakinghisslateoutofhishand,and runningover thesum."All right,Bill.Nowhere'syour book." He took a volume of the Arabian Nights from the table, andhanded it tohim, andBill settledhimselfon the floor, andwas soon lost in"SinbadtheSailor."Hewatchedhimaminuteortwo,andthenlookedroundatme,withasmile."Iwouldn'tbeafraid tobet thatyoumightshout in thatfellow'searandhewouldn'thearyou,nowheisfairlyinuponthatbook.Isn'titworthwhiletobeabletogivesuchperfectblissinthisworldatsosmallanexpense?I'velostthepowerofreadingtheArabianNights,butIcomfortmyselfinseeingthischap."

"Whoishe?"saidI.

"Oh,he'smywasherwoman'sboy.Poorfellow.Hehashardtimes.I'vesethimupinsellingnewspapers.Yousee,Itrynowandthentopickuponegrainout of the heap of misery, and put it into the heap of happiness, as JohnNewtonsaid."

Iwas still bubblingwith the unrest ofmy spirit, and finally overflowedupon him with the whole history of my day's misadventures, and all thetroubledthoughtsandburningindignationsthatIhadwithreferencetoit.

"Mydearfellow,"hesaid,"takeiteasy.Wehavetoacceptthisworldasafaitaccompli.Ittakessometimeforustolearnhowlittlewecandotohelporto hinder. You cannot take a step in the business of life anywhere withoutmeetingjustthiskindofthing;andonepartofthescienceoflivingistolearnjustwhatourownresponsibilityis,andtoletotherpeople'salone.Thefactis,"hesaid,"thegrowthofcurrentliteratureinourtimeshasbeensosuddenandsoenormousthatthingsareinasortofrevolutionarystatewithregardtoit,inwhich it is very difficult to ascertain the exact right. For example, I amconnected with a paper which is simply and purely, at bottom, a financialspeculation;itsownersmustmakemoney.Now,theyarenotbadmenastheworldgoes—theyarewell-meaningmen—amiable,patriotic,philanthropic—

some of them are religious; they, all of them, would rather virtue wouldprevail than vice, and good than evil; they, all of them,would desire everykind of abuse to be reformed, and every good cause to be forwarded, thatcouldbeforwardedwithoutasacrificeof theirmainobject.Asforme,Iamnotaholderorproprietor.Iamsimplyaservantengagedbythesepeopleforacertainsum.IfIshouldsellmyselftosaywhatIdonotthink,ortopraisewhatI consider harmful, to propitiate their favor, I should be a dastard. TheyunderstandperfectlythatIneverdoit,andtheyneveraskmeto.Meanwhile,theyemploypersonswhowilldothesethings.IamnotresponsibleforitanymorethanIamforanythingelsewhichgoesoninthecityofNewYork.Iamallowedmychoiceamongnotices,andIneverwritethemwithoutsaying,tothebestofmyability, theexacttruth,whetherliteraryorinamoralpointofview.Now,thatisjustmystand,andifitsatisfiesyou,youcantakethesame."

"But,"saidI,"Itmakesmeindignant, tohaveGoldstick talk tomeashedid about a great self-denyingmoral enterprise—why, thatmanmust knowhe'saliar."

"Do you think so?" said he. "I don't imagine he does. Goldstick hasconsiderable sentiment. It's quite easy to get him excited onmoral subjects,andhedearlylovestohearhimselftalk—heissincerelyinterestedinagoodnumberofmoralreforms,solongastheycosthimnothing;andwhenamanisworkinghisgoodfaculties,heisgenerallydelightedwithhimself,anditisthemostnaturalthingintheworld,tothinkthatthereismoreofhimthanthereis.I am often put in mind of that enthusiastic young ruler that came to theSaviour,whohadkeptall thecommandments,andseemeddetermined tobeonthehighroadtosaintship.TheSaviour just touchedhimonthisfinancialquestion,andhewiltedinaminute.Iconsiderthattobestillthetestquestion,and there are a good many young rulers like him, who don't keep all thecommandments."

"Your way of talking," said I, "seems to do away with all moralindignation."

Hesmiled,andthenlookedsadlyintothefire—"Godhelpusall,"hesaid."Weareallstrugglingin thewater togetherandpullingoneanotherunder—ourbestvirtuesaresuchamiserablemuddle—andthen—there'sthebeaminourowneye."

Therewasadepthofpathosinhisdarkeyesashespoke,andsuddenlyasmileflashedoverhisfeatures,andlookingaround,hesaid—

"So,whatdoyouthinkofthat,mycat,

Andwhatdoyouthinkofthat,mydog."

CHAPTERXV.

IMEETAVISION.

I say,Hal,doyouwant toget acquaintedwithanyof theP.G.'shere inNewYork?Ifyoudo,Icanputyouonthetrack."

"P.G.'s?"saidI,innocently.

"Yes; you know that's what Plato calls pretty girls. I don't believe yourememberyourGreek.I'mgoingoutthiseveningwherethere'salotof'em—splendidhouseonFifthavenue—lotsoftin—girlsgracious.Don'tknowwhichof'emIshalltakeyet.Don'tyouwanttogowithmeandsee?"

Jimstoodatthelooking-glassbrushinghishairandarranginghisnecktie.

"JimFellows,youareacoxcomb,"saidI.

"I don't know why I shouldn't be," said he. "The girls fairly throwthemselvesatone'shead.Theyareuptoallthatsortofthing.Besides,I'monthe lookout formy fortune, and it all comes in theway of business.Come,now,don't sit therewritingall theevening.Comeout, and letmeshowyouNewYorkbygaslight."

"No,"saidI;"I'vegottofinishupthisarticlefortheMilkyWay.Thefactis,afellowmustbeindustrioustomakeanything,andmytimeforseeinggirlsisn'tcomeyet.ImusthavesomethingtosupportawifeonbeforeIlookroundinthatdirection."

"Theidea,Harry,ofagood-lookingfellowlikeyou,notmakingthemostofhisadvantages!Why,therearenicegirlsinthiscitythatcouldhelpyouupfasterthanallthewritingyoucandothesetenyears.Andyousitting,moilingandtoiling,whenyououghttobemakingsomelovelywomanhappy!"

"Ishallnevermarryformoney,Jim,youmaydependuponthat."

"Bah, bah, black sheep," said Jim. "Who is talking about marrying formoney?Afinegirlisnonetheworseforfiftythousanddollars,andIcangiveyoualistoftwentythatyoucangoroundamonguntilyoufallinlove,andnotcomeamissanywhere,ifit'sfallinginlovethatyouwanttodo."

"Oh,come,Jim,"saidI,"dofinishyour toiletandbeoffwithyourself ifyouaregoing.Idon'tblameawomanwhomarriesformoney,sincethewholeworld has always agreed to shut her out of any other way of gaining anindependence.Butforaman,witheveryotheravenueopentohim,tomouseaboutforarichwife,Ithinkistoodastardlyforanything."

"Thatwouldmakeafinepointforaparagraph,"saidJim,turningroundtome,withperfectgoodhumor."SoIadviseyoutosaveitforthemoralpartofthepaper.Yousee,ifyouwastetoomuchofthatsortofthingonme,yourmillmayrunlow.It'sadeucedhardthingtokeepthemoralagoingthewholeyear,you'llfind."

"Well," said I, "I am going to try tomake a home for awife, by good,thoroughwork, done just aswork ought to be done; and I have no time towasteonsocietyinthemeanwhile."

"And when you are ready for her," said Jim, "I suppose you expect toreceive her per 'Divine Providence' Express, ticketed and labeled, andexpensespaid.Or,maybeshe'llbebroughttoyousometimebygenii,asthePrincessofChinawasbroughttothePrinceofTartary,whenhewasasleep.IusedtoreadaboutthatintheArabiantales."

IgivethislittlepassageofmyconversationwithJim,becauseitisaprettygoodillustrationoftheaxiom,that"Itisnotinmanthatwalkethtodirecthissteps."Whenwehaveannouncedanysettledpurposeorsublimeintention,inregard to our future course of life, it seems to be the delight of fortune tothrowusdirectlyintocircumstancesinwhichweshallbetemptedtodowhatwehavejustdeclaredweneverwilldo,andthefortunesofourlivesturnuponthemostinconsiderablehinges.

Mineturneduponanumbrella.

ThenextmorningIhadbusinessintheverylowermostpartofthecity,andstartedoffwithoutmyumbrella; butbeingweather-wise, anddiscerning thefaceofthesky,Iwentbacktomyroomandtookit.Itwasoneofthoselittlepetobjectsofvertu, towhichabachelor sometimes treatshimself in lieuofdomestic luxuries. It had a finely-carved handle,which I bought inDieppe,andwhichcausedittobepeculiaramongalltheumbrellasinNewYork.

Itwasoneofthoseuncertain,capriciousdaysthatmarkthecominginofApril, when Nature, like a nervous beauty, doesn't seem to know her ownmind,andlaughsonemomentandcriesthenextwithaperplexinguncertainty.

Thefirstpartofthemorningtheamiableandsmilingpredominated,andIbegantoregretthatIhadencumberedmyselfwiththetroublesomeprecautionofanumbrellawhiletrampingarounddowntown.InthismoodofmindIsatatFultonFerrywaitingthestartingoftheBleeckerstreetcar,whensuddenlythe scenewas enlivened tomy view by the entrance of a young lady, whohappenedtoseatherselfexactlyoppositetome.

Now,asawriter,anobserveroflifeandmanners,IhadoftenmadequietstudiesofthefairflowersofmodernNewYorksocietyasIrodeupanddownin the cars. In no other country in the world, perhaps, has a man the

opportunityofbeingvis-à-viswiththebestandmostculturedclassofyoungwomen in the public conveyances. In England, this class are veiled andsecludedfromgazebyalltheordinancesandarrangementsofsociety.Theygoout only in their own carriage; they travel in reserved compartments of therailwaycarriages; theypass from these to reservedapartments in thehotels,where they are served apart in family privacy as much as in their owndwellings. So that the stranger traveling in the country, unless he haveintroductionstothepersonalhospitalityofthesecircles,hasalmostnowayofforminganyopinionevenastotheexternalappearanceofitsyoungerwomen.InFrance,astillstricterrégimewatchesovertheyoung,unmarriedgirl,whoiskeptintheshadeofanalmostconventualseclusiontillmarriageopensthedoorsofherprison.TheyoungAmericangirl,however,of thebetterandofthebestclasses,istobemetandobservedeverywhere.Shemovesthroughlifewith the assured step of a princess, too certain of her position and familiarwithherpowereventodreamofafear.Shelooksonhersurroundingsfromabovewiththeeyeofamistress,andexpects,ofcourse,toseeallthingsgivewaybeforeher,asinourrepublicansocietytheygenerallydo.

DuringthefewmonthsIhadspentinNewYorkIhaddiligentlykeptoutof society. The permitted silent acquaintance with my fair countrywomenwhich I gained while riding up and down the street conveyances, became,therefore, a favorite and harmless source of amusement.Not an item in thestudy escaped me, not a feather in that rustling and wonderful plumage offashionthatborethemup,wasunnoted.Imusedonstyles,andcharacteristics,and silentlywove inmy ownmind histories to correspondwith the variousphysiognomies I studied.Letnot the reader imagineme staringpointblank,withmymouthopen,atallImet.Theartofnotingwithoutappealingtonote,ofseeingwithoutseemingtosee,wasonethatIcultivatedwithassiduity.

Therefore, without any impertinent scrutiny, satisfied myself of the factthatafemininepresenceofanunusualkindandqualitywasoppositetome.Itwas,atfirstglance,oneoftheNewYorkprincessesoftheblood,accustomedtotreadingoncloudsandbreathingincense.Therewasaquietsavoirfaireandself-possessionasshesatdownonherseat,as if itwerea throne;and therewas a species of repressed vitality and decision in all her little involuntarymovementsthatinterestedmeaslivethingsalwaysdointerest,inproportiontotheirquantumoflife.Weallarefamiliarwiththefact that therearesomepeople,who, let themsit still as theymay,andconduct themselvesnever soquietly,neverthelessimpresstheirpersonalityonthosearoundthem,andmaketheir presence felt. An attraction of this sort drew my eyes toward myneighbor.Shewasayoungladyofmediumheight,slenderandelasticfigure,featureslessregularlybeautifulthanpiquantandexpressive.Iremarkedapairoffinedarkeyesthemorefromthecontrastwithagoldencrêpeofhair.Thecombinationofdarkeyesandlasheswithfairhair,alwaysproduceseffectofa

strikingcharacter.ShewasattiredasbecameaFifthAvenueprincess,whohastheworldoffashionatherfeet,—yet,tomythinking,asonewhohadchosenandadaptedhermaterialwithaneyeoftaste.Adelicatecashmerewasfoldedcarelesslyroundhershoulders,andherlittlehandswereglovedwithacarefulnicetyoffit;anddanglingfromonefingerwasatoypurseofgoldandpearl,inwhichshebegansearchingforthechangetopayherfare.Isaw,too,assheinvestigated, an expression of perplexity, slightly tinged with the ludicrous,upon her face. I perceived at a glance thematter. Shewas surveying a ten-dollarnotewithaglanceofamusedvexation,andvainlyturningoverherlittlepurse for the smaller change or tickets available in the situation. I leanedforward andoffered, as gentlemengenerally do, to take her fare andpass itforward.Withasmileofapologyshehandedmethebill,andshowedthelittleempty purse. "Allow me to arrange it," I said. She smiled and blushed. Ipasseduptheticketnecessaryfortheoccasion,returnedherbill,bowed,andimmediatelylookedanotherwaywithsedulouscare.

Itrequiresanextraamountofdiscretionanddelicacytomakeittolerabletoatrueladytobecomeinthesmallestdegreeindebtedtoagentlemanwhoisastranger.Iwasawarethatmyfairvis-à-viswasinwardlydisturbedathavinginadvertentlybeenobligedtoacceptfrommeevensosmallanobligationasafareticket;butasmatterswere,therewasnohelpforit.Onthewhole,thoughIwas sorry forher, I couldnotbut regard the incident as a speciesofgoodluck for myself.We rode along—perhaps each of us conscious at times ofbeingattentivelyconsideredby theother,until thecars turnedupParkRowbeforetheAstorHouse;shesignalledtheconductortostop,andgotout.Hereitwas that thebeneficent intentionsof the fates, in causingme to bringmyumbrella,weremademanifest.

"Beforeaveryeleganthouse inFifthAvenuemyunknownalighted,andtherainstillcontinuing,therewasanexcuseformystillattendingherupthesteps."

Justasthecarstartedagain,cameoneofthosesuddengushesofrainwithwhichperverseAprildelightstoruffleanddiscomposeunwarypassengers.Itwas less a decent, decorous shower, than a dash ofwater by the bucketful.Immediately I jumped out and stepped to the side of my gentle neighbor,begginghertoallowmetoholdmyumbrellaoverher,andseeherinsafetyacrossBroadway.Shemeant tohavestoppedatoneor twoplaces, shesaid,butitrainedsoshewouldthankmetoputherintoaFifthAvenuestage.Sowewent together, threading our way through rushing and trampling carriages,horses,andcars,—adrivingstormabove,below,andaround,whichseemedtothrowmyfairprincessentirelyuponmyprotectionforafewmoments, till Ihadhersafeintheup-townomnibus.Asitwasmyroute,also,I,too,entered,andbythistimefeelingasortofprivilegeofacquaintance,arrangedthefare

for her, and again received a courteous and apologetic acknowledgment.Before a very elegant house inFifthAvenuemyunknown alighted, and therain still continuing, therewas an excuse formyattendingher up the steps,andringingthedoor-bellforher.

We were kept waiting in this position several minutes, when she verygracefully expressed her thanks for my kindness, and begged that I wouldwalkin.

Surprised and pleased, I excused myself on plea of engagements, butpresentedherwithmycard,andsaidIwoulddomyselfthepleasureofcallingatanothertime.

Withalittlelaughandblushshehandedmeacardfromthetinypearlandgold case, on which was engraved "Eva Van Arsdel," and in the corner,"Wednesdays."

"WereceiveonWednesdays,Mr.Henderson,"shesaid,"andmammawillbesohappytomakeyouracquaintance."

Here thedooropened,andmyfairyprincessvanished fromview,withapartingvisionofablush,smile,andbow,andIwasleftoutsidewiththerainandthemudandthedull,commonplacegrindofmydailywork.

Thehouse,as Inoted it,waspalatial in itsaspect.Clear, largewindows,which seemed a single sheet of crystal, gave a view of banks of floweringhyacinths, daffodils, crocuses, and roses, curtained in bymisty falls of lacedrapery.Evidently itwas one of thoseCircean regions of retreat,where thelovely daughters of fashionable wealth in New York keep guard over aneternallotus-eater'sparadise;wheretheytreadonenchantedcarpets,movetothe sound of music, and live among flowers and odors a life of blissfulignoranceoftoilorcare.

"Towhatpurpose,"Ithoughttomyself,"shouldIcallthere,orpursuethevision into itsown regions?Æneasmightaswell try to followVenus to thescentedregionsaboveIdalia,whereherhundredaltars foreverburn,andherflowersneverdie."

Butyet Iwasnowiser andnoolder thanothermenat three-and-twenty,andthelittlecardwhichIhadplacedinmyvestpocketseemedtodiffuseanagreeable, electric warmth, which constantly reminded me of its presencethere.Itookitoutandlookedatit.Ispelledthenameover,anddweltoneveryletter.Therewassomuchpositivecharacterinthelittlelady,—suchasortofspicy,racyindividuality, that the littleIhadseenofherwaslikereadingthefirstpageofanenchantingromance,andIcouldnotrepressacuriositytogoonwith it.To-daywasMonday; thereceptiondaywasWednesday.ShouldIgo?

Prudencesaid,"No;youareayoungmanwithyourwaytomake;youareself-dependent;youarepoor;youhaveno timetospendinhelpingrich idlepeopletohuntbutterflies,andstringrose-leaves,andmakedandelion-chains.Ifyousetyourfootoveroneofthoseenchantedthresholds,wherewealthandidlenessruletogether,youwillbebewildered,enervated,andspoiledforanyreallyhighorseveretask-work;youwillbecomeanidler,adangler;thepowerofsustainedlaborandself-denialwilldepartfromyou,andyouwillrunlikeabreathlesslackeyafterthechariotofwealthandfashion."

Ontheotherhand,asthelittlebitofenchantedpasteboardgentlyburnedinmyvestpocket,itsaid:

"Why should you be rude? It is incumbent on you as a gentleman torespondtothe invitationsofranklygiven.Besides, thewriterwhoaspires toinfluence societymust know society; and how can one know society unlessonestudiesit?Ahermitinhiscellisnojudgeofwhatisgoingonintheworld.Besides,hedoesnotovercometheworldwhorunsawayfromit,buthewhomeetsitbravely.Itisthepartofacowardtobeafraidofmeetingwealthandluxuryandindolenceontheirowngrounds.Hereallyconquerswhocankeepawake,walking straight through the enchantedground; not hewhomakes adetourtogetroundit."

AllwhichIhadarrayedingoodsettermsasIrodebacktomyroom,andwentuptoBoltontolookupinhislibrarytheauthoritiesforanarticleIwasgettingoutontheDomesticLifeoftheAncientGreeks.Boltonhadsucceededinmakingmefeelsothoroughlyathomeinhislibrarythatitwastoallintentsandpurposesasifitweremyown.

As Iwas tumbling over the books that filled every corner, there fell outfromalittlenicheaphotograph,orratherambrotype,suchaswereinuseintheinfancyoftheart.Itfelldirectlyintomyhand,sothattakingitupitwasimpossible not to perceive what it was, and I recognized in an instant theperson.ItwastheheadofmycousinCaroline,notasIknewhernow,butasIrememberedheryearsago,whensheandIwenttotheAcademytogether.

It isalmostan involuntary thing,onsuchoccasions, toexclaim,"Whoisthis?" But Bolton was so very reticent a being that I found it extremelydifficult to ask him a personal question. There are individuals who unite agreatwinning and sympathetic facultywith great reticence. Theymake youtalk,theywinyourconfidence,theyareinterestedinyou,buttheyasknothingfromyou,andtheytellyounothing.BoltonwasallthewhiledoingobligingthingsformeandforJim,butheaskednothingfromus;andwhilewefeltsafein saying anything in theworld before him, andwhile we never felt at themoment that conversation flagged, or that there was any deficiency insympathyandgoodfellowshiponhispart,yetuponreflectionwecouldnever

recallanythingwhichletusintotheinteriorofhisownlife-history.

Thefindingofthislittlemementoimpressedme,therefore,oddly,—asifadoorhadsuddenlybeenopenedintoaprivatecabinetwhereIhadnorighttolook,oranopenletterwhichIhadnorighttoreadhadbeeninadvertentlyputintomy hands. I looked round on Bolton, as he sat quietly bending over abookthathewasconsulting,withhispeninhandandhiscatathiselbow;butthequestionIlongedtoaskstuckfastinmythroat,andIsilentlyputbackthepictureinitsplace,keepingtheincidenttoponderinmyheart.Whatwiththeone pertaining to myself, and with the thoughts suggested by this, I foundmyself in a disturbed state that I determined to resist by setting myself adefinitetaskofsomanypagesofmyarticle.

Intheevening,whenJimcamein,Irecountedmyadventureandshowedhimthecard.

Hesurveyeditwithaprolongedwhistle."Goodnow!"hesaid;"theticketsentbytheProvidenceExpress.Isee—"

"WhoaretheseVanArsdels,Jim?"

"Upper tens," said Jim, decisively. "Not the oldest Tens, but the secondbatch. Not the old Knickerbocker Vanderhoof, and Vanderhyde, andVanderhornsetthatWashyIrvingtellsabout,—butthemodernnobs.OldVanArsdeldoesasmashing importingbusiness—isworthhismillions—has fivegirls,allhandsome—twoout—twomoretocomeout,andonestrong-mindedsisterwhohas retired from theworld, and isn't seenout anywhere.Theoneyou sawwasEva; they say she's tomarryWatSydney,—thegreatestmatchthereisgoinginNewYork.Howdoyousay—shallyougo,Wednesday?"

"Doyouknowthem?"

"Oh,yes.AliceVanArsdelisasplendidgirl,andwearegoodfriends,andI look inon themsometimes just togive them the lightofmycountenance.Theyarealwaysafterme to lead theGerman in theirparties;but I'vegiventhatup.Hangitall!it'stoosteeponafellowthathastoworkallday,withnoletup,tobekeptdancingtilldaylightwiththosegirls.Itdon'tpay!"

"Ishouldthinknot,"saidI.

"Yousee,"pursuedJim,"thesegirlshavenothingunderheaventodo,andwhenthey'vedancedallnight, theygotobedandsleeptillelevenor twelveo'clockthenextdayandgettheirrest;whilewefellowshavetobeupandinouroffices at eighto'clocknextmorning.The fact is, itmaydo foronceortwice,butitknocksafellowupprettyfast.It'sabadthingforthefellows;theyget to takingwine andbrandyandone thingor another tokeepup, and theDevilonlyknowswhatcomesofit."

"AndaretheseVanArsdelsinthatfrivolousset?"saidI.

"Well,youseetheyarenotreallyfrivolous,either;theyarenicegirls,welleducated,graduatedat theUniversalThingumbobCollege,where they teachgirls everything that everhasbeenheardof,before theyare seventeen.Andthen they have lived in Paris, and lived inGermany, and lived in Italy, andpickedupallthelanguages;sothatwhentheyhaveanythingtosaytheyhaveachoiceoffourlanguagestosayitin."

"Andhavetheyanythingtosayworthhearinginanyofthefour?"saidI.

"Well,yes,now,honorbright.There'sAliceVanArsdel:she'sambitiousasthedevil,but,afterall,agood,warm-heartedgirlunderit—andsmart!there'snodoubtofthat."

"Andthislady?"saidI,fingeringthecard.

"Eva?Well,she'shadagreatrun;she'skilling,astheysay,andshe'spretty—no denying that; and, really, there's a good deal to her,—like the spongecakeat thebottomof the trifle,youknow,withagoodsmart flavorofwineandspice."

"Andshe'sengagedto—whomdidyousay?"

"WatSydney."

"Andwhatsortofamanishe?"

"Whatsort?why,he'sarichman;ownsallsortsofthings,—goldminesinCalifornia,andcopperminesinLakeSuperior,andsaltworks,andrailroads.Infact,thethingistosaywhathedoesn'town.Immenseheadforbusiness,—regularsteel-traptodealwith,—hasthesnapofapike."

"Pleasingprospectforadomesticcompanion,"saidI.

"Oh, as to that, I believeWat is good-hearted enough to his own folks.Theysayheisverydevotedtohisoldmotherandaparcelofoldmaidaunts,andashe'srich,it'sthoughtagreatvirtue.Nobodysingsmypraises,Inotice,becauseImindmymammyandAuntSarah.Youseeittakesamillion-powersolarmicroscopetobringoutfellows'virtues."

"Isthegentlemanhandsome?"

"Well, ifhewaspoor,nobodywould thinkmuchofhis looks. Ifhehad,say,ahundredthousandortwo,hewouldbecalledfairtomiddlinginlooks.Asitis,thegirlsraveabouthim.He'sbeenafterEvanowforsixmonths,andtheothergirlsarereadytotearhereyesout.Buttheengagementhasn'tcomeoutyet.Ithinkshe'smakinguphermindtohim."

"Notinlove,then?"

"Well,she'sbeenqueensolongshe'sblaséeanddifficult,andlikestoplaywithherfishbeforeshelandshim.Butofcourseshemusthavehim.Girlslikethatmusthavemoney tokeep 'emup; that's the first requisite. I tellyou thepurpleandfinelinenoftheseprincessescometosomething.Now,asrichmengo,she'dfindtenworsethanWatwherethere'sonebetter.Thenshe'sbeenoutthree seasons.There'sAlice just comeout, andAlice is a stunner, and takestremendously! And then there's Angeline, a handsome, spicy little witch,smarterthaneither,thatisjustfluttering,andscratching,andtearingherhairwith impatience tohaveher turn.AndbehindAngeline there'sMarie—she'sgotaconfoundedpairofeyes.Soyouseethere'snohelpforit;MissEvamustabdicateandmakeroomforthenextcomer."

"Well,"saidI,"aboutthisreception?"

"Oh!go,byallmeans,"saidJim."Itwillbefun.I'llgowithyou.Youseeit'sLentnow,thankthestars!andsothere'snodancing,—onlyquieteveningsandlobstersalad;because,yousee,we'reallrepentingofoursinsandgettingreadytogoatitagainafterEaster.Afellownowcangotoreceptions,andgetaway in time to have a night's rest, and the girls now and then talk a littlesense between whiles. They can talk sense when they like, though onewouldn'tbelieveitof'em.Well,takecareofyourself,myson,andI'lltakeyouroundthereonWednesdayevening."AndJimwentwhistlingdownthestairs,leavingmetofinishmyarticleontheDomesticMannersoftheGreeks.

I remember thatvery frequently that evening,while stopping toconsiderhowIshouldbeginthenextsentence,Iunconsciouslyembellishedthemarginofmymanuscriptbywriting"Eva,Eva,EvaVanArsdel"inanabsent-minded,mechanical way. In fact, from that time, that name began often to obtrudeitselfoneverybitofpaperwhenItriedmypen.

ThequestionofgoingtotheWednesdayeveningreceptionwassettledintheaffirmative.Whatwastohindermytakingalookatfairylandinapurelyphilosophicalspirit?Nothing,certainly.Ifshewereengagedshewasnothingtome,—neverwouldbe.So,clearlytherewasnodanger.

CHAPTERXVI.

THEGIRLOFOURPERIOD.

[LetterfromEvaVanArsdeltoMrs.Courtney.]

MYDEARFRIENDANDTEACHER:—I scarcely dare trustmyself tolookatthedateofyourkindletter.CanitreallybethatIhaveletitliealmostayear,hoping,meaning,sincerelyintendingtoanswerit,andyetdoingnothing

aboutit?Oh!mydearfriend,IwasabettergirlwhileIwasunderyourcarethanIamnow;inthosetimesIreallydidmyduties;Ineverputoffthings,andIcamesomewherenearsatisfyingmyself.Now,Iliveinaconstantwhirl—awhirlthatneverceases.Iamcarriedonfromdaytoday,fromweektoweek,frommonthtomonth,withnothingtoshowforitexceptasuccessionofwhatgirlscall"goodtimes."Idon'treadanythingbutstories;Idon'tstudy;Idon'twrite;Idon'tsew;Idon'tdraw,orplay,orsing,toanyrealpurpose.Ijust"gointosociety,"astheycallit.Iamanidler,andtheonlythingIamgoodforisthatIhelptoadornahousefortheentertainmentofidlers;thatisaboutall.

Now Lent has come, and I am thankful for the rest from parties anddancing;butyetLentmakesmeblue,becauseitgivesmesometimetothink;and besides that,when all thiswhirligig stops awhile, I feel how dizzy andtiredithasmademe.AndthenIthinkofallthatyouusedtotellmeabouttherealobjectoflife,andallthatIsosincerelyresolvedinmyschool-daysthatIwoulddoandbe,andIamquiteindespairaboutmyself.

It is threeyears since I really "cameout," as thephrasegoes.Up to thattimeIwasfarhappierthanIhavebeensince,becauseIsatisfiedmyselfbetter.Youalwayssaid,dearfriend,thatIwasagoodscholar,andfaithfultoeveryduty;andthosedays,whenIhadadefinitedutyforeachhour,anddiditwell,weredayswhen I likedmyselfbetter thannow. Ididenjoystudy. Ienjoyedour three years in Europe, too, for then, with much variety and manypleasures,Ihadregularstudies;Iwaslearningsomething,anddidnotfeelthatIwasameredo-nothing.

ButsinceIhavebeengoing intocompanyIamperfectlysickofmyself.For the first year it was new tome, and I was light-headed and thought itgloriousfun.Itwasexcitementallthetime—dressing,andgoing,andseeing,and being admired, and,well—flirting. I confess I liked it, andwent into itwithallmymight,—parties,balls,opera,concertsallthewinterinNewYork,andparties, balls, etc. atNewport andSaratoga inSummer. Itwas a sort ofprolonged delirium. I didn't stop to think about anything, and lived like abutterfly,bythehour.Oh!thesillythingsIhavesaidanddone!Ifindmyselfblushinghotwhen I thinkof them,because,yousee, I amsoexcitable, andsometimesamsocarriedaway, thatafterwardIdon'tknowwhatImayhavesaidordone!

Andnowallthisiscomingtosomeendorother.Thisgoingintocompanycan'tlastforever.Wemustbemarried—that'swhatwearefor,theysay;that'swhatallthisdressing,anddancing,andflyingabouthasgottoendin.Andsomamma and AuntMaria are on thorns, to get me off their hands and wellestablished. Ihavebeenout three seasons. I am twenty-three, andAlicehasjustcomeout,anditisexpected,ofcourse,thatIretirewithhonor.Iwillnotstop to tell you that I have rejected about the usual number of offers that

young ladies in my position get, and I haven't seen anybody that I care acopperfor.

Well,now, in thiscrisis,comesthisMr.Sidney,whoproposedtomelastFall, and I refused point-blank, simply and only because I didn't love him,whichseemedtomeatthattimereasonenough.ThenmammaandAuntMariatookupthecase,andtoldmethatIwasafoolishgirltothrowawaysuchanoffer:amanofgoodcharacterandstanding,anexcellentbusinessman,andsoimmenselyrich—withsuchasplendidplaceatNewport,andanotherinNewYork,andafortunelikeAladdin'slamp!

IsaidIdidn'tlovehim,andtheysaidIhadn'ttried;thatIcouldlovehimifIonlymadeupmymindto,andwhywouldn'tItry?Thenpapaturnedin,whoveryseldomhasanythingtosaytousgirls,oraboutanyfamilymatters,andsaid how delighted he should be to seememarried to aman so capable oftakingcareofme.So,amongthemall,IagreedthatIwouldreceivehisvisitsandattentionsasafriend,withaviewtotryingtolovehim;andeversinceIhave been banked up in flowers and confectionery, and daily drifting intorelationsofcloserandcloserintimacy.

DoIfindmyselfinlove?Notabit.Frankly,dearfriend,totelltheawfultruth,thethingthatweighsdownmyheartis,thatifthismanwerenotsorich,IknowIshouldn'tthinkofhim.Ifhewereapooryoungman,justbeginningbusiness, I know I should not give him a second thought; neither wouldmother, nor Aunt Maria, nor any of us. But here are all these worldlyadvantages! I confess I am dazzled by them. I am silly, I am weak, I amambitious.IliketofeelthatImayhavetheprizeoftheseason—thegreatestofferinthemarket.IknowIamenviedand,oh,dearme!thoughit'snaughty,yetonedoes like tobeenvied.Besides, to tell the truth, though I amnot inlovewithhim,Iamnotinlovewithanybodyelse.Irespecthim,andesteemhim,andallthat,inaquiet,negativesortofway,andmotherandAuntMariasayeverythingelsewillcome—aftermarriage.Will it?Isitright?IsthisthewayIoughttomarry?

But then, you know, I mustmarry somebody—that, they say, is a fixedfact.ItseemstobeunderstoodthatIamasortofhelplessaffair,tobetakencareof,andthatnowismytimetobedisposedof;andtheytellmeeverydaythatifIletthischancego,Ishallregretitallmylife.

Do you know I wish there were convents that one could go out of theworldinto?CousinSophiaSewellhasjoinedtheSistersofSt.John,andsayssheneverwassohappy.Shedoes looksocheerful,andshe issobusyfrommorningtillnight,andhasthecomfortofdoingsomuchgoodtoalotofthosepoorlittlechildren,thatIenvyher.

ButIcannotbecomeaSister.WhatwouldmammasayifsheknewIeven

thoughtof it?Everybodywould thinkmecrazy.Nobodywouldbelievehowmuchthereisinmethatnevercomestolight,norhowmiserableitmakesmetobethepoor,half-heartedthingthatIam.

You know, dear friend, about sister Ida's peculiar course, and how verymuchithasvexedmamma.Yet,reallyandtruly,Ican'thelprespectingIda.ItseemstomesheshowsarealstrengthofprinciplethatIlack.Shewentintogaysocietyonlyalittlewhilebeforeshegaveitup,andherreasons,Ithink,were good ones. She said it weakened her health,weakened hermind; thattherewasnouseinit,andthatitwasjustmakingherphysicallyandmorallyhelpless,andthatshewantedtoliveforapurposeofherown.Shewantedtogo to Paris, and study for the medical profession; but neither papa, normamma, nor any of the familywould hear of it. But Ida persisted that shewoulddo something, and finallypapa tookher intohisbusiness, tomanagethe foreign correspondence, which she does admirably, putting all herknowledgeoflanguagestoaccount.Hegivesherthesalaryofaconfidentialclerk,andshelaysitup,withtheintentionfinallyofcarryingherpurpose.

Ida is a good, noble woman, of a strength and independence perfectlyincomprehensible to me. I can desire, but I cannot do; I am weak andirresolute.Peoplecan talkmeround,anddoanythingwithme,andIcannothelpmyself.

Anotherthingmakesmeunhappy.IdarefusedtobeconfirmedwhenIwas,because, she said, confirmationwas only a sham; that the girlswere just aswhollyworldlyafterasbefore,andthatitdidnoearthlygood.

Well, you see, I was confirmed; and, oh dear me! I was sincere, Godknows. Iwanted tobegood—to live ahigher, purer, nobler life than Ihavelived;andyet,afterall,itisI,thechildoftheChurch,thatamlivingalifeoffolly,andshow,andself-indulgence;anditisIda,whodoubtstheChurch,thatislivingalifeofindustry,andenergy,andself-denial.

Why is it? The world that we promise to renounce, that our sponsorspromisedthatweshouldrenounce—whatisit,andwhereisit?Dothosevowsmeananything?ifso,what?ImeantodoallthatIoughtto;buthowtoknowwhat?There'sAuntMaria,mygod-mother,shedidtherenouncingformeatmybaptism,andpromisedsolemnlythatIshouldabjure"thevainpompandglory of theworld,with all covetous desires of the same; that I should notfollow,orbeledbythem;"yetshehasnever,thatIcansee,hadonethoughtofanythingelsebuthow to secure tome just exactly thosevery things.That Ishould be first in society, be admired, followed, flattered, andmake a rich,splendidmarriage,hasbeenherveryheart'sdesireandprayer;andifIshouldrenouncethevainpompandgloryoftheworld,reallyandtruly,shewouldbeutterlyheart-broken.Sowouldmamma.

Idon'tmeantolayalltheblameonthem,either.Ihavebeenworldly,too,andambitious,andwantedtoshine,andbeenonlytoowillingtofallinwithalltheirviews.

But it really ishard foraperson likeme tostandalone,againstmyownheart, and all my relatives, particularly when I don't know exactly, in eachcase,whattodo,andwhatnot;wheretobegintoresist,andwheretoyield.

Idasaysthatitisasintospendnightsindancing,sothatonehastolieinbedlikeaninvalidallthenextday.Shesaysitisasintorundownone'shealthfornogoodpurpose;andyetwegirlsalldoit—everybodydoesit.Weallgofrompartytoparty,fromconcerttoball,andfromballtosomethingelse.WedancetheGermanthreeorfournightsaweek;andthen,whenSundaycomes,sometimesIfindthatthereistheHolyCommunion—andthenIamafraidtogo.Iamlikethemanthathadnotontheweddinggarment.

It seems tome that our church servicesweremade for realChristians—peopleliketheprimitiveChristians,whomadearealthingofit;theygaveupeverything and went down and worshiped in the catacombs, for instance. Iremember seeing those catacombs where they held their church far downunderground,when Iwas inRome.Therewouldbe somemeaning in suchpeople'susingourservice,butwhenItrytogothroughwithitIfeartotakesuchwordsonmylips.Iwonderthatnobodyseemstofeelhowawfulthosewordsare,andhowmuchtheymustmean,iftheymeananything.ItseemstomesosolemntosaytoGod,aswedosayinthecommunionservice,"HereweofferandpresentuntoThee,O,Lord,ourselves,oursoulsandbodies,tobeareasonable,holy,andlivingsacrificeuntoThee"——

Iseesomanysayingthiswhoneverseemtothinkofitagain;and,oh,mydearfriend,Ihavesaiditmyself,andbeennobetterafterward,andnow,alas,ItoooftenturnawayfromtheholyordinancebecauseIfeelthatit isonlyamockerytoutterthem,livingasIdo.

Aboutthismarriage.Mr.Sydneyisnotatallareligiousman;heisallforthisworld,andIdon'tthinkIshallgrowmuchbetterbyit.

Iwishthereweresomebodythatcouldstrengthenme,andhelpmetobemy better self. I have dreams of a sort of man like King Arthur, and theKnightsof theHolyGrail—aman,noble,holy,andreligious.SuchanoneIwouldfollowifIbrokeawayfromeveryoneelse;but,alas,nosuchareinoursociety,atleastIneverhavemetany.YetIhaveitinmetolove,eventodeath,ifIfoundarealhero.Imarkedaplaceinabooktheotherday,whichsaid:

"Thereisnotsomuchdifficultyinbeingwillingtodieforone,asfindingoneworthdyingfor."

Ihaven't,andtheylaughatmeasaromanticgirlwhenItellthemwhatI

woulddoifIfoundmyideal.

Well, I supposeyouseehowit'sall likely toend.Wedrift,anddriftanddrift,andIshouldn'twonder if Idriftedat last into thismarriage. Isee itallbeforeme,justwhatitwillbe,—awonderfulwedding,thatturnsallNewYorktopsy turvy—diamonds, laces, cashmeres, infinite flowers, and tuberoses ofcourse,tillone'sheadaches,—clangandding,andbangandbuzz;—triumphalprocessionstoallthewatering-places;tourinEurope,andthensocietylifeinNewYork,adinfinitum.

Oh,dear,ifIonlycouldgetupsomeenthusiasmforhim!Helikesme,buthedon'tlikethethingsthatIlike,anditisterriblyslowworkentertaininghim—butwhenwearemarriedweshan't see somuchofeachother, I suppose,andshallgetonasotherfolksdo.Papaandmammahardlyeverseemuchofeachother,butIsupposetheyareallright.AuntMariasays,loveornoloveatthebeginning,itallcomestothissortofjog-trotattheend.Thehusbandisthemanthatsettlesthebills,andtakescareofthefamily,that'sall.

Idasays—but Iwon't tellyouwhat Idasays—shealwaysmakesme feelblue.

Dowritemeagoodscoldingletter;rousemeup;shameme,scoldme,talkhard tome, and see if you can'tmake somethingofme.Perhaps it isn't toolate.

Youraffectionatebadgirl,

Eva.

[LetterfromMrs.CourtneytoEvaVanArsdel.]

MyDearChild:—Youplacemeinanembarrassingpositioninaskingmetospeakonasubject,whenyourparentshavealreadydeclaredtheirwishes.

Nevertheless,mydear, Icanbut remindyou thatyouare thechildofanhigher than any earthlymother, and in an affair of thismoment you shouldtakecounselofourholyChurch.Takeyourprayer-bookandreadhersolemnservice, andseewhat thosemarriagevowsare thatyou thinkof taking.Arethesetobetakenlightlyandunadvisedly?

I recollect, when I was a young girl, we used to read Sir CharlesGrandison,andonepassageinthemodelHarrietByron'slettersIcopiedintomyscrap-book.Speakingofonewhohadproposedtoher,shesays:

"HeseemstowantthemindthatIwouldhavethemanblessedwiththatIam to vow to love and honor. I purposewhenever Imarry tomake a verygood,andevendutifulwife;mustInotvowobedience,andshallIbreakmymarriage vow? I would not, therefore, on any consideration, marry a manwhosewantofknowledgemightmakemestagger in theperformanceofmy

duty to him; who would, perhaps, command from caprice or want ofunderstandingwhatIthinkunreasonabletobecompliedwith."

IquotethisbecauseIthinkitisoldfashionedgoodsense,inarespectableold English novel, worth a dozen of the modern school. To me, there isindicatedinyourdescriptionofMr.Sydney,justthatlackofwhatyouwouldneed in a husband, which would make difficult, perhaps impossible, theperformance of your marriage vows. It is evident that his mind does notimpress yours or control yours, and that there are no mental sympathiesbetweenyou.

Thatamanisagoodbusinessman; thathe is fitted tosecure therentortaxes of thehouseone lives in, and to payone's bills, is not all.Think,mychild, that this man, for whom you can "get up no enthusiasm," whosecompanyweariesyou,istheonewhomyouareproposingtotakebythehandbeforeGod's altar, and solemnly promise that forsaking all others, youwillkeeponlyuntohim,so longasyoubothshall live, to love, tohonor,and toobey.Canyoudoit?

You say you can get up no enthusiasm for this man, yet you have aconceptionof aman forwhomyoucould leaveall things;whomyoucouldloveuntothedeath.

It is out of just such marriages, made by girls with just such hearts asyours, that come all these troubles that are bringing holy marriage intodisrepute in our times. A woman marries, thoughtlessly and unadvisedly, amanwhomsheconsciouslydoesnotlove,hopingthatsheshalllovehim,orthatsheshalldoaswellasothersdo;thenbyaccidentorchancesheisthrownintothesocietyoftheveryonewhomshecouldhavelovedwithenthusiasm,andmarried,forhimselfalone.Themodernschoolofnovelsarefullofthesewretchedstories,andpeoplenowareclamoringforfreedivorce,togetoutofmarriagesthattheyneveroughttohavefalleninto.

Amid all this confusion theChurch stands from age to age and teaches.She shows you exactly what you are to promise; she warns you againstpromising lightly, or unadvisedly, and I can only refermy dear child to hermother's lessons. Marriage vows, like confirmation vows, are recorded inHeaven,andmustnotbebroken.

The time for reflection isbefore theyaremade. Insteadofclamoring forfree divorce, as a purifier ofmarriage, all Christians should purify it as thechurchrecommends,bythegreatcarewithwhichtheyenterintoit.Thatismydoctrine,mylove.IamagoodoldEnglishChurch-woman,anddon'tbelieveinanymoderntheories.Theteachingsoftheprayer-bookareenoughforme.Iknow that, in spiteof themall, thereare thoughtlessconfirmationvowsandmarriagevowsdailyutteredinourchurch,butitisnotforwantofclearand

solemninstruction.Butyou,mylove,withyourconscientiousness,andgoodsense,andreallynoblenature,will Iamsureactworthilyofyourself in thismatter.

AnotherconsiderationIsuggesttoyou.Thisman,whomIsupposetobeaworthyandexcellentman,hashisrights.Hehastherighttothewholeheartofthewomanhemarries—towhomatthealtarhegiveshimselfandallwhichhepossesses.Awomanwhohaswhatyoucallanenthusiasmforaman,candomuchwithhim.Shecanbearwithhisfaults;shecaninspireandleadhim;shecanraisehiminthescaleofbeing.Butwithoutthisenthusiasm,thisreallove,she can do nothing of the kind; it is a thing that cannot be dissembled, oraffected.Andaftermarriage,themanwhodoesnotfindthisinhiswife,hasthebestreasontothinkhimselfdefrauded.

Now,ifforthesakeofpossessingaman'sworldlygoods,hisadvantagesof fortune and station, you take that relationwhen you really are unable togivehimyourheart,youactdishonestly.Youtakeandenjoywhatyoucannotpayfor.Notonlythat,butyoudeprivehimthroughallhislifeoftheblessingofbeingreallyloved,whichhemightobtainwithsomeotherwoman.

The fact is,youhavebeenhighlycultivated incertaindepartments;yourtasteswouldleadyouintotheworldofartandliterature.Hehasbeendevotedtobusiness,andinthatwayhasamassedafortune,buthehasnoknowledge,andnohabitsthatwouldpreparehimtosympathisewithyou.

I am not here undervaluing the worth of those strong, sterling qualitieswhichbelongtoanuprightandvigorousman.Therearemanywomenwhoareimpressedbyjustthatsortofpower,andadmireitinmen,astheydophysicalstrength and courage; it dazzles their imagination, and they fall in loveaccordingly.Youhappentohaveanotherkindoffancy—heisnotofyoursort.

But therearedoubtlesswomenwhomhewouldfullysatisfy;whowouldfindhimadelightfulcompanionwho,inshort,wouldbeexactlywhatyouarenot, in lovewithhim.Mydear,menneedwiveswhoare in lovewith them.Simpletoleranceisnotenoughtostandthestrainofmarriedlife,andtomarrywhenyou cannot truly love is to commit an act of dishonesty and injustice.Remembering,therefore,thatyouareabouttodowhatnevercanbeundone,and what must make or mar your whole future, I speak this in all sincereplainness,becauseIam,andevermustbe,

Youraffectionateandtruefriend,

M.Courtney.

[IdaVanArsdeltoMrs.Courtney.]

MyDear Friend:—I amglad you havewritten as you have toEva. It is

perfectlyinexplicabletomethatagirlofhergeneralstrengthofcharactercanbesoundecided.EvahasbeendeterioratingeversinceshecamefromEurope.Thisfashionablelifeistomindandbodyjustlikeahotbedtotenderplantsinsummer, it wilts everything down. Evawas a good scholar and I had greathopesofher.Shehadawarmheart;shehasreallyhighandnobleaspirations,butfortwoorthreeyearspastshehasdonenothingbutrundownherhealthandfritterawayhermindontrifles.Sheisnothalfthegirlshewasatschool,eithermentallyorphysically,andIamgrievedandindignantatthewaste.Heronlychanceofescapeandsalvationistomarryatrueman.

Butwhenpeoplesetoutasafirstrequisitethatthemanmustberich,howmanyarethechancesoffindingthat?

TherichmenofAmericaareeitherrichmen'ssons,who,fromallIhaveseenofthem,arepoortrashenough,orbusinessmen,whohavemadewealthbytheirownexertions.Buthowfewtherearewhomakemoney,whodonotsacrifice theirspiritualandnoblernatures todo it?Howfewwithwhomthemakingofmoneyisnotthebeginning,middle,andendoflife,andhowlittlecansuchmendotoupholdandelevatethemoralnatureofawife!

Mr. Sydney is aman, heart, soul, and strength, interested in thatmightygame of chance and skill by which, in America, money is made. He is arailroadking—aprinceofstocks—amangoingwitha forty thousandsteampower through New York waters. He wants a wife—a brilliant, attractive,showy, dressywife, to keep his house and ornament his home; and he is atEva'sfeet,becausesheis,onthewhole,thebelleofhiscircle.HechoosesenGrandSeigneur,andundoubtedlyheisasmuchinlovewithherassuchakindofman canbe.But, in fact, heknowsnothing aboutEva; hedoesnot evenknowenough to know the dangers ofmarrying such awoman.With all herfire, and all her softness, all her restless enthusiasms, her longings andaspirations and inconsistencies, what could he do with her? The man whomarries Eva ought to know her better than she knows herself, but thismanneverwouldknowher,iftheylivedtogetheranage.Hehasnotraitsbywhichtoestimateher,andtheverybestresultofthemarriagewillbeamutuallaisseraller of two people who agree not to quarrel, and to go their own separateways,hetohisworld,andshetohers;andthissortofthingiswhatiscalledinourtimesagoodmarriage.

IamoutofpatiencewithEvaforherveryvirtues.Itisherinstincttowanttopleaseand tocomply,andbecausemammaandauntMariahave set theirheart on this match, and because she is empty-hearted and tired, andennuyeuse, she has no strength to stand up for herself. Her veryconscientiousnessweakensher;shedoubts,butdoesnotdecide.Shehasjustenoughofeverythinginhernaturetogetherintotrouble,andnotenoughtogetherout.Aphrenologisttoldhersheneededdestructiveness.Well,shedoes.

The pain-giving power is amost necessary part of awell organized humanbeing.Nobodycaneverdoanythingwithoutthecouragetobedisagreeableattimes,whichIhaveplentyof.Theydonot trytocontrolme,orenslaveme.Why?BecauseImademydeclarationofindependence,andplantedmyguns,and got ready forwar. This is dreadfully unamiable, but it did the thing; itsecured peace; I am let alone. I am allowed my freedom, but everybodyinterfereswithEva.Sheisconqueredterritory—hasnorightsthatanybodyisboundtorespect.Itprovokesme.

As to the religious part of your letter, dear friend, I thank you for it. Icannot see things as you do, however. To me it appears that in our dayeverythinghasgottobebroughttothesimpletestof,Whatgooddoesitdo?Ifbaptism, confirmation and eucharist make unworldly, self-denying, self-sacrificingpeoplejustascertainlyaspetunia-seedmakepetunias,why, then,nobodywill have any doubt of their necessity, and the churchwill have itsthrongs.Idon'tseenowthattheydo.GointoafashionablepartyIhavebeenin, andwatch the girls, and see if you can tellwhohavebeenbaptized andconfirmed,andwhohavenot.

ThefirstChristianscarriedChristianityoverallthepompandpoweroftheworldsimplybytheunworldlylifetheylived.Nobodydoubtedwherethetruechurchwasinthosedays.Christianswereasetofpeoplelikenobodyelseintheworld, andwhenever andwherever andbywhatevermeans that kindofcharacterthattheyhadiscreated,itwillhavepower.

I like the Episcopal Church, but I cannot call it the church till I seeevidences that it answerspractically thepurposeofachurchbetter thananyother.FormypartIgotohearadreadfullyhereticalpreacheronSunday,wholecturesinablack-coat inahall,simplybecausehetalkstomeonpointsofduty,whichIamanxioustoheardiscussed.Eva,poorchild,wearsdownherhealthandstrengthwithnightafternightinsociety,andspendsallhermoneyondress;doingnoearthlythingforanylivingcreature,exceptinthepleasure-givingway,likeabirdoraflower,andthenisshockedandworriedaboutmebecauseIreadscientificworksonSunday.

Imakeconscienceofgoodhealth,earlyhours,thickshoes,andmentalandbodily drill, and subjection. Please God, I mean to do something worthy aChristian woman before I die, and to open a path through which weakerwomenshallwalkoutofthismorassoffashion-slavery,andsubjection,wheretheyfloundernow.ItakeformymottothatsentencefromoneofDr.Johnson'sallegoriesyouonceread tous:"Nolifepleasing toGodthat isnotuseful toman."Ihope,mydearfriend,IshallkeepthespiritofChrist,thoughIwanderfrom the letter. Suchwords as you have spoken tome, however, can nevercome amiss. Perhaps when I am old and wiser, like many another self-confidentwanderer, Imaybeglad to comeback tomymother's house, and

then, perhaps, I shall be a stiff little church-woman. At all events I shallalwaysbeyourlovingandgratefulpupil.

Ida.

[EvaVanArsdeltoIsabelConvers.]

MyDearBelle:Thanksforyourkindletterwithallitscongratulationsandinquiries,—for though as yet I have no occasion for congratulation, andnothingtoanswertoinquiry,Iappreciatetheseallthesame.

No—Belle, the"oldsixpence"isnotgoneyet,—youwillhavetokeeptoyour friend a while longer. I am not engaged, and you have full liberty tocontradictthatreporteverywhereandanywhere.

Mr.Sydneyis,ofcourse,verypolite,andverydevoted,verymuchafriendof the familyandall that,but Iamnotengaged tohim,andyouneedneverbelieveanysuchthingofmetillyouhearitdirectly,undermyownhandandseal.

Therehavebeenalotofengagementsinoursetlately.LottieTrevillianisgoingtomarrySimCarrington,andBessieSomershasatlastdecidedtotakeoldWatkins—thoughheistwenty-fiveyearsolderthanshe,—andthenthere'sCousinMariaElmorehasjustturnedasplendidaffairwithyoungLivingstone,really the most brilliant match of the winter. I am positively ashamed ofmyself, under these circumstances, to be sitting still, and unable to reportprogress.Myold infelicity inmakingupmymindseemstohauntme,andIdaresayIshalllivetobeadreadfulexample.

Bytheby,Ihavehadacurioussortofanadventurelately.YouknowwhenIwasupatEnglewoodvisitingyoulastsummer,Iwasjustravingoverthosesonnets on Italy, which appeared in the "MilkyWay" over the signature of"X." You remember those verses on "Fra Angelico" and the "Campanile,"don'tyou?Well,IhavefoundoutwhothisXis.It'saMr.Hendersonthat isnowinNewYork,engagedonthestaffof"TheGreatDemocracy."Wegirlshave noticed himonce or twicewalkingwith JimFellows—(you rememberJim;)Jimsaysheisaperfecthermit,devotedtostudyandwriting,andnevergoes into society.Well,wasn't it odd that the fates should have thrown thishermitjustinmyway?

TheothermorningIcameoverfromBrooklyn,whereIhadbeenspendingthreedayswithSophia,andwhenIgotintothecarwhoshouldIseebutthisidentical Mr. Henderson right opposite to me. I took a quiet note of him,betweenwhilesthinkingofoneortwolinesinhissonnet.Heisnice-looking,manly,thatis,andhasfinedarkeyes.Well,doyouknow,themostprovokingthing, when I came to paymy fare I found that I had no tickets nor smallchange—what could have possessed me to come so I can't imagine, and

mamma makes it all the worse by saying it's just like me. However, heinterposedandarrangeditformeinthenicestandquietestwayintheworld.Iwas going up to call at Jennings', the other side of theAstorHouse, to seeaboutmylaces,butbythetimewegotthere,therecameonsucharainaswasperfectly dreadful.Mydear, itwasoneof those shocking affairs peculiar toNewYork,whichreallycomedownbythebucketful,andIhadnothingforitbut tocrossBroadwayasquickas Icould tocatchaFifthAvenueomnibus,andletmylacegotillamoreconvenientseason.

Well,asIsteppedoutintothestorm,whoshouldIfindquitebesidemebutthisgentleman,withhisumbrellaovermyhead.IcouldseeatthemomentthatithadoneofthosequainthandlesthattheycarveinDieppe.Wewereamongcars,andpolicemen,andtramplinghorses,andsoon,buthegotmesafeintoanup-townomnibus,andIfeltsomuchobligedtohim.

I supposed, of course, that there itmight end, but,would youbelieve it,quitetomysurprise,hegotintotheomnibustoo!"Afterall,"Isaidtomyself,"perhapshisrouteliesuptownlikemine."Hewasn'tintheleastpresuming,andsatthereveryquietly,onlysaying,"Permitme,"ashepassedupaticketformewhen the farewas tobepaid, so savingme that odiousnecessityofmaking change with my great awkward bill. I was mortified enough—butknowingwhoitwas,hadasortofinternalhopethatonedayIcouldapologizeandmake it all right, for,my dear, I determined on the spot thatwewouldinvitehimtoourreceptions,andgetJimFellowstomakehimcome.I thinkthereisnotestofagentlemanlikethemannerinwhichhedoesafavorforastranger lady whom the fates cast upon his protection. So many would beinsufferablypresumingandassuming—hewasjustright,soquiet,sosimple,sounpretentious,yetsoconsiderate.

Herodeonveryquietlytillwewereoppositeourhouse,andthenwasondutyagainwithhisumbrella,uptotheverydoorofthehouse,andholdingitovermewhile wewerewaiting. I couldn't help expressingmy thanks, andaskinghimtowalkin;butheexcusedhimself,givinghiscard,andsayinghewouldbehappytocallandinquireaftermyhealth,etc.;andIgavehimmine,withourWednesdayreceptionsonit,andtoldhimhowpleasedmammawouldbetohavehimcall.ItwasallIcoulddotoavoidcallinghimbyhisname,andletting him see how much I knew about him; but I didn't. It was ratherawkward,wasn'tit?

Now, Iwonder ifhewill callonWednesdays. JimFellows sayshe is soshy,andnevergoesout;andyouknowif thereisanythingthatcan'tbehad,thatisthethingoneiswildtoget;somammaandallofusarequiteexcited,andwondering if hewill come.Mamma is all anxiety to apologize, and allthat,forthetroubleIhavegivenhim.

It'sratherfunny,isn'tit—anadventureinprosaicoldNewYork?Idaresay,now,hehasforgottenallaboutit,andneverwillthinkofcomingintosuchatriflingsetaswegirlsare.Well,Iwillletyouknowifhecomes.

Everyouraffectionate

Eva.

CHAPTERXVII.

IAMINTRODUCEDINTOSOCIETY.

Bolton and I were sitting, up to our ears in new bookswhich had beenaccumulating for notice for days past, and which I was turning over anddippingintohereandtherewiththejaded,half-disgustedairofachildwornoutbytheprofusionofaThanksgivingdinner.

"I feel perfectly savage," I said. "What a never-ending harvest of trash!Two,or at themost, three tolerable ideas, turnedand twisted in somenoveldevice,gotupinlargeprint,withwidemargins—and,behold,amodernbook!Iwouldliketobeablackfrostandnipthemallinanight!"

"Yourdinnerdidn'tagreewithyou,apparently,"saidBolton,ashelookedup from a new scientific work he was patiently analyzing, making carefulnotes along the margin; "however, turn those books over to Jim, whounderstandsthehop,skip,andjumpstyleofcriticism.Jimhasaboutadozenor two of blank forms that only need the name of the book and publisherinserted,andtheworkisdone."

"Whataperfectfarce,"saidI.

"Thenoticesareasgoodasthebooks,"saidBolton."Somethinghastobesaid to satisfy the publishers and do the handsome thing by them; and theusualstringofcommendatoryphrasesandtritecriticism,whichmeannothingin particular, I presume imposes upon nobody. It is merely a form ofannouncingthatsuchandsuchwaresareinthemarket.Ifancytheyhaveverylittleinfluenceonpublicopinion."

"Butdoyouthink,"saidI,"thatthereisanyhopeofajustschoolofbookcriticism—somethingthatshouldbearealguidetobuyersandreaders,andarealinstructiontowriters?"

"That is a large question," saidBolton, "and amatter besetwith seriousdifficulties.Whilebooksareamatterofcommerceandtrade;whilemagazineswhichcriticisebooksarethepropertyofbooksellers,andnewspapersdepend

onthemforadvertisingpatronage,it istoomuchtoexpectofhumannature,that we should always get wholly honest, unbiassed opinions. Then, again,thereisthehaste,andrush,andhurryofourtimes,theamountofliterarydrift-wood that is all the while accumulating! Editors and critics are but mortalmen, andmenkept, as a general thing, in the last agonies ofweariness andboredom.Thereisnot,forthemostpart,sensibilityenoughlefttoenablethemtoreadthroughorenterintothepurportofonebookinahundred;yet,forallthis,youdoobservehereandthereinthecolumnsofourbestpaperscarefullystudiedandseriouslywrittencritiquesonbooks;thesearehopefulsigns.Theyshowaconscientiouseffortonthepartofthewriterstoenterintothespiritofthework,andtogivetheirreadersafairaccountofit;and,ifImistakenot,thenumberofsuchisontheincrease."

"Well," said I, "do you suppose there is any prospect or possibility of aconstructive school of criticism—honest, yet kindly and sympathetic, thatshallleadyoungauthorsintorightmethodsofperfectingthemselves?"

"Wehavea longwhile towaitbefore that comes," saidBolton. "Who isappreciative andmany-sided enough to guide the first efforts of genius justcoming to consciousness? How many could profitably have advisedHawthornewhenhis peculiarRembrandt stylewas just forming?As a race,weAngloSaxonsaresoself-spheredthatwelackthepowertoenterintotheindividualityofanothermind,andgiveprofitableadviceforitsdirection.

"English criticism has generally been unappreciative and brutal; it hasdissectedbutterfliesandhumming-birdswithmalletandcleaver—witnessthereviewthatmurderedKeats,andwitnessinthelettersofCharlotteBrontétheperplexity into which sensitive, conscientious genius was thrown byobstreperous, conflicting criticism. The most helpful, because mostappreciativereviews,shesays,cametoherfromFrance."

"Isuppose,"saidI,"thatitisthedramaticelementintheFrenchcharacterthat fits them to be good literary critics. They can enter into anotherindividuality.Onewouldthinkitamatterofmerecommonsense,thatinordertocriticisejustlyyoumustputyourselfforthetimebeingasnearlyaspossibleat the author's point of sight; form a sympathetic estimate of what he isstrivingtodo,andthenyoucantellhownearlyheattainshispurpose.Ofthisdelicate constructive criticism, we have as yet, it seems to me, almost nospecimensintheEnglishlanguage.St.BeuvehasleftmodelsinFrench,inthisrespect,whichweshoulddowelltoimitate.WeAmericansareagood-naturedset,andourcriticisminclinestocomityandgood-fellowshipfarmorethantothe rude bluntness of our English neighbors; and if we could make thisdiscriminating,aswellasurbane,weshouldgetabouttherightthing."

Our conversation was interrupted here by Jim Fellows, who came

thunderingup-stairs,singingatthetopofhislungs—

"Ifanenginemeetanengine

Comingroundacurve,—

Ifitsmashbothtrainandtender,

WhatdoesItdeserve?

Notapenny—paidtoany,

SofarasIobserve—"

"Gracious,Jim!whatanoise!"saidI,asheenteredtheroomwithaperfectwar-whooponthechorus.

"Blessmy soul,man,why arn't youdressing?Arn't yougoingup to thegardenofEdenwithmetonight, tosee thewoman,and theserpent,andallthat?" he said, collaringmewithout ceremony. "Come away to your bower,andcurlyournut-brownhair;for

Timeroilsalong,

Norwaitsformortalcareorbliss,

We'lltakeourstaffandtravelon,

Tillwearrivewheretheprettygalsis."

Andthussinging,Jimwhirledmedownthestairs,andtumbledmeintomyroom,andwentintohis,whereIheardhimaccompanyinghistoiletoperationswithveryloudselectionsfromthelastcomicopera,beatingtimewithhishair-brushinabewilderingmanner.

Jimwas certainly a natural curiosity in respect to the eternal, unceasingvivacity of his animal spirits, which were in a state of effervesence frommorning to night, frothing out in some odd freak of drollery or buffoonery.Therewasnot the smallestuse in trying remonstranceorputtingona soberface;hispersistence,andtheendlessvarietyofhisqueerconceits,wouldhaveovercomethegravityofthesaddesthermitthateverworesackclothandashes.

Bolton had become accustomed to see him bursting into his room at allhours, with a breeze which fluttered all his papers; and generally sat backresignedly in his chair, and laughed in helpless good-nature, nomatter howuntimely the interruption. "Oh, it's Jim!" he would say, in tones of comicresignation."It'snouse;hemusthavehisfling!"

"Time'sup,"saidJim,drummingonmydoorwithhishair-brushwhenhistoiletwascompleted."Comeon,myboy,'LetushastetoKelvynGrove.'"

Iopenedmydoor,andJimtookapaternalsurveyofmefromneck-clothto

boot-toe,turningmeroundandinspectingmeonallsides,asifIhadbeenaSunday-schoolboy,dressedforanexhibition.

"Those girls have such confounded sharp eyes," he remarked, "a fellowneedstobewellgotup.Yes,you'lldo;andyou'renotbadlooking,Hal,either,allthingsconsidered,"headded,encouragingly."Comealong.I'vegotlotsofthingstomakeasensationwithamongthegirlsto-night."

"What,forexample?"

"Oh, I've been investigating round, and know sundry little interestingparticulars as to the new engagement just declared. I know when theengagement ringwasgot, andwhat it cost, andwhere thebride's jewels aremakingup,andwhattheyaretobe—allsecrets,youunderstand,oftheverydeadestdoor-nailkind.ButJimknowsthem!Oh,yes!—you'llseetheflutterI'llmakeintheroostto-night!Isay,ifyouwanttocultivateyouracquaintancewithMissEva there, I'll draw all the rest off, and keep 'em sowide awakeroundmethatthey'llneverthinkwhatbecomesofyou."

Imustconfesstofeelingnotalittlenervousintheprospectofmyinitiationintosociety,andregardingwithasecretenvythedashing,easyassuranceofJim.Icalledhiminmyheartsomethingofacoxcomb,butitwaswithahalf-amusedtolerancethatIallowedhimtopatronizeme.

Theexperienceofayoungmanwhofeelsthathehashisownwayinlifetomake, and all whose surroundingsmust necessarily be of themost rigideconomy, when he enters the modern sphere of young ladyhood, is like asuddenchangefromNovaZemblatothetropics.Hisisaworldofpatienttoil,of hard effort, of dry drudgery, of severe economies; while our youngAmericanprincesses,hissocialequals,whosesocietyfascinateshim,towhoseacquaintanceheaspires,livelikethefowlsoftheairortheliliesofthefield,without a thought of labor, or a care, or serious responsibility of any kind.They are "gay creatures of the element," living to enjoy and to amusethemselves,tobefostered,sheltered,dressed,petted,andmadetohave"goodtimes"generally.InEngland,therearemenborntojustthislifeandposition,—hereditarypossessorsofwealth,ease,and leisure,andthereforeable tobehereditary idlers and triflers—to live simply to spend and to enjoy. But inAmerica, where there are no laws to keep fortunes in certain families,fortunes,asageneralrule,mustbemadebytheirpossessors,andyoungmenmustmake them. The young, unmarriedwomen, therefore, remain the onlyaristocracyprivilegedtoliveinidleness,andwaitfortheirdutiestocometothem.

ThehousetowhichIwasintroducedthatnightwasoneofthoseNewYorkpalacesthatarefurnishedwitheclectictaste,afterasurveyofallthatEuropehastogive.Thesuitesofroomsopenedintoeachotherincharmingvista,and

thewallswerehungwith thechoicestpaintings. Itwasevident thatculturedskillandappreciationhadpresidedoverthecollectionoftheendlessobjectsofartistic eleganceandvertuwhichadornedeveryapartment: itwasnovulgardisplayofwealth,butaselectionwhichmusthavebeentheresultofstudyandcare.

Jim,actingthepartofmasterofceremonies,dulypresentedmetoMr.andMrs. Van Arsdel, and the bevy of young ladies, whose eyes twinkled withdangerousmerrimentasImademybowtothem.

Mr. Van Arsdel was what one so often sees in these palaces, a simple,quiet,silentman,notknowingorcaringabodleaboutanyofthewondersofart and luxury with which his womankind have surrounded him, and notpretendingintheleasttocomprehendthem;butquietlyindulgenttothetastesandwhimsofwifeanddaughters,ofwhosesuperiorcultureheissecretlynotalittleproud.

InWallstreetMr.VanArsdelhelduphishead,andfoundmuchtosay;hisairwasNapoleonic;inshort,therehisfootwasonhisnativeheath.Butinhisown house, amongCuyps, and Frères, andRembrandts, and FraAngelicos,withasetofpolyglotdaughterswhospakewithtongues,hewalkedsoftly,andexpressedhimselfwithhumility,likeasensibleman.

Mrs.VanArsdelhadbeenabeautyfromheryouth;hadcomeofafamilyrenowned for belles, andwas still a very handsomewoman, and, of course,versedinallthosegentlediplomacies,andineffableartsandcrafts,bywhichthesonsofAdamareimmediatelyswayedandgoverned.

Neverwasstatelyswansailingattheheadofabroodoffairyoungcygnetsmore competent to leadership than she to marshal her troop of bright,handsome daughters through the straits of girlhood to the high places ofmatrimony. She read, and classified, and ticketed, at a glance, every youngmanpresented toher,yet therewasnotashadeof thescrutinydimming theblandcordialityofher reception.Shewaswinning,warming,andcharming;fully alive to the éclat of a train of admirers, and to the desirableness ofkeepingupabrilliantcourt.

"Mr.Henderson," she said,witha richmellow laugh, "I tellEva there issomeadvantage,firstorlast,inalmosteverything.Oneofherscatter-brainedtrickshasbroughtusthepleasureofyouracquaintance."

"Mamma has such a shocking way of generalizing about us girls," saidEva;"Ifweoncearecaughtdoinga thingshe talksas ifwemadea regularhabit of it. Now, I have come over from Brooklyn hundreds of times, andneverfailedtohavetheproperchangeinmypursetillthisonce."

"I am to regard it, then, as a specialpieceofgood fortune, sent tome?"

saidI,drawingsomewhatnearer,asMrs.VanArsdel turnedtoreceivesomenewarrivals.

IhadoccasionthiseveningtoadmirethefacilitywithwhichJimfulfilledhispromiseofabsorbingtohimselftheattentionoftheyounghostesses,andleavingmetheadvantageofa tête-à-têtewithmynewacquaintance. Icouldseehimat thismoment, seatedbyMissAlice, a splendid, brilliant brunette,whilethetwoprettyyoungersisters,notyetsupposedtobeout,wereseatedonottomans,andallinvariousstagesofintenseexcitement.Icouldhear:

"Oh,Mr.Fellows,now,youmusttellus!indeedIamquitewildtoknow!how could you find it out?" in various, eager tones. Jim, of course,was asfullyawareoftheimportanceofadramaticmysteryasamodernnovel-writer,and pursued a course of most obdurate provocation, letting out only suchglimpsesandsparklesofthedesiredintelligenceasservedtoinflamecuriosity,andholdtheattentionofthecircleconcentrateduponhimself.

"I thinkyouareperfectlydreadful!Oh,Mr.Fellows, it really isa shamethatyoudon'ttellus,reallynowIshallbreakfriendshipwithyou,"—thetonesherebecamethreatening.ThenJimstrucka tragicattitude,andlaidhishandonhisheart,anddeclaredthathewasamartyr,andtherewasmorelaughingand such a chatter, and confusion of tongues, that nothing definite could bemadeout.

The lengthof time thatyoungpeople, fromeighteen to twenty,andevenupward,cankeepthemselvesinecstaciesofexcitementwithsuchsmallstockofrealthingsofanysorttosay,issomethingthatinvariablyastonishesoldandsoberpeople,whohaveforgottenthattheyoncewereinthishappyage,wheneverythingmade them laugh. Therewas soon noise enough, and absorptionenough, in the little circle,—widened by the coming in of one or two otheryoungmen—toleavemequiteunnoticed,andinthebackground.Thiswasnottoberegretted,asMissEvaassumedwithacharmingeaseandself-possessionthat rôle of hospitality and entertainment, for which I fancy our youngAmericanprincesshasanespecialtalent.

"Doyouknow,Mr.Henderson," she said, "we scarcely expectedyou, aswehearyounevergoout."

"Indeed!"saidI.

"Oh,yes!yourfriend,Mr.Fellowsthere,haspresentedyoutousinmostformidableaspects—suchaDiogenes!sodevotedtoyourtub!nogettingyououtonanyterms!"

"I'msure," I answered, laughing, "Iwasn't aware that Ihadeverhad thehonorofbeingdiscussedinyourcircleatall."

"Oh, indeed,Mr.Henderson,yougentlemenwhomakeconfidantsof thepublicareoftenknownmuchbetterthanyouknow.Ihavefeltacquaintedwithmanyofyourthoughtsforalongwhile."

What writer is insensible to such flattery as this? especially from theprettiestoflips.IconfessItooktothissortofthingkindly,andwasreadyifpossibleforalittlemoreofit.Ibegantosaytomyselfhowcharmingitwastofindbeautyandfashionunitedwithcorrectliterarytaste.

"Now,"shesaid,as theroomswererapidlyfilling,"letmeshowyouif Ihavenotbeenabletoreadarightsomeofyourtastes.ComeintowhatIcallmy'Italy.'"Sheliftedaportiéreandwesteppedintoacharminglittleboudoir,furnishedinbluesatin,whosewallswerefinishedincompartments,ineachofwhichhungacopyofoneofFraAngelico'sAngels.Over thewhitemarblemantelwasasuperbcopyof"TheParadise.""There,"shesaid,turningtome,withafranksmile,"amInotright?"

"Youare, indeed,MissVanArsdel.Whatbeautifulcopies!TheytakemebacktoFlorence."

"See here," she added, opening a velvet case, "here is something that Iknowyounoticed,forIreadwhatyouthoughtofit."

ItwasanexquisitecopyofthatrarestlittlegemofFraAngelico'spainting,"TheDeath-BedoftheVirginMary,"—intimepastthethemeofsomeofmyverses,whichMissVanArsdelthusgraciouslyrecalled.

"Doyouknow,"shesaid,"theonlydrawbackwhenonereadspoemsthatexactlyexpresswhatonewould like tosay, is that itmakesusenvious;onethinks,whycouldn'tIhavesaiditthus?"

"MissVanArsdel," said I, "doyou remember the linesofLongfellow: 'Ishotanarrowthroughtheair?'"

"Whatarethey?"shesaid.

Irepeated:

"Ishotanarrowintotheair,

Itfelltoearth,Iknewnotwhere;

For,soswiftlyitflew,thesight

Couldnotfollowitinitsflight.

"Ibreathedasongintotheair,

Itfelltoearth,Iknewnotwhere;

Forwhohassightsokeenandstrong,

Thatitcanfollowtheflightofsong?

"Long,longafterward,inanoak

Ifoundthearrow,stillunbroke;

Andthesong,frombeginningtoend,

Ifoundagainintheheartofafriend."

"Doyouknow,"Isaid,"thatthisexpressesexactlywhatapoetwants?Itisnotadmiration,itissympathy.Poemsaretestpapers,putintheatmosphereoflifetodetectthisproperty;wecanfindbythemwhoreallyfeelwithus;andthosewhodo,whethernearor far, are friends.Themakingof friends is themostpreciousgiftforwhichpoeticutteranceisgiven."

"I don't think," said she, "you should say 'make friends'—friends arediscovered, rather thanmade.There are peoplewho are in their ownnaturefriends,onlytheydon'tknoweachother;butcertainthingslikepoetry,music,andpainting,arelikethefree-mason'ssigns—theyrevealtheinitiatedtoeachother."

Andsoonwewent,deliciouslytalkingandrangingthroughportfoliosofengravings that took us through past days; rambling through all our sunnyItalianlife,uptheCampanile,throughtheoldDuomo;saunteringthroughtheilexesoftheBoboliGarden;comparingnotesonthepicturesinthePittiandtheBelleArte—inshort,wehadoneofthatblessedkindoftimeswhichcomewhen two enthusiasts go back together over the brightest and sunniestpassagesoftheirexperience.

Myheadswam;agoldenhazewasaroundme,andIwasnotquitecertainwhether Iwas in thebodyornot. It seemed tome thatwe twomustalwayshaveknowneachother,soverysimpleandnaturaldiditseemforustotalktogether, and to understand one another. "But," she said, suddenly checkingherself, "if we get to going on all these things there is no end to it, and IpromisedsisterIdathatIwouldpresentyouinherstudyto-night."

"Seemstomeitissoverydelightfulhere!"saidI,deprecatingly,notwellpleasedtocomeoutofmydream.

"Ah,butyoudon't know,Mr.Henderson, thisproposedpresentation is aspecial honor. I assure you that this is a distinction that is almost neveraccordedtoanyofourcallers;youmustknowsisterIdahasretiredfromtheworld,andgivenherselfuptothepursuitofwisdom,anditistherarestthingonearththatshevouchsafestocareforseeinganyone."

"Ishouldbeonlytoomuchflattered,"saidI,asIfollowedmyguideacrossa hall, and into a little plainly furnished study,whose air of rigid simplicitycontrastedwiththeluxuryofalltheotherpartsofthehouse.

CHAPTERXVIII.

THEYOUNGLADYPHILOSOPHER.

Seated, reading by a shaded study-lamp,was a youngwoman ofwhat Ishould call the Jeanie Deans order—one whose whole personal appearanceindicated that sort of compact, efficient union of energy and simplicitycharacteristicof theScottishheroine.Herhair, of apretty curlybrown,wascut short, à la Rosa Bonheur; her complexion glowed with a sort of awholesome firmness, indicative of high health; her large, serious grey eyeshad an expression of quiet resolution, united with careful observation. Herfigure inclined to the short, stout and well-compacted order, which gavepromise of vitality and power of endurance—without pretensions to beauty.There was a wholesome, thoughtful cheerfulness and good humor in theexpressionofthefacethatmadeitdecidedlyprepossessingandattractive.

The furniture of the room, too, was in contrast with all the otherappointmentsofthehouse.Itwasoldandworn,andofthatprimitivekindthatbetokened honest and respectable mediocrity. There was a quaint, old-fashionedwriting-desk,withitsarrayofdrawersandpigeon-holes;therewereoldslipperywoodenarm-chairs,unrelievedbycushions;while thefloorwasbare,exceptinginfrontofthefire,whereitwascoveredbyalargesquareofwhat New England housekeepers call rag-carpet. The room, in fact, wasfurnishedlikethesitting-roomofanoldNewEnglandfarm-house.Acheerful,bountifulwood-fire,burningonapairofold-fashionedbrassandirons,addedtotheresemblance.

"Yousee,Mr.Henderson,"saidMissEva,whenIhadbeenintroducedandseated,"youarenowinthepresenceofMissVanArsdelproper.ThisroomisPapa's and Ida's joint territory, where their own tastes and notions havesupremesway;andsoyouseeitissacredtothememoriesofthepast.Thereisalltheoldfurniturethatbelongedtopapawhenhewasmarried.Poorman!hehasbeenpushedoutintograndeur,stepbystep,tillthiswasallthatremained,and Idaopenedanasylumfor it.Doyouknow, this is theonly room in thehousePapacaresmuchfor.Yousee,hewasbornonafarm,deargentleman,and he has an inveterate yearning after primitive simplicity—huckleberriesandmilk,youknow,andall that.Don't this look like theold 'keeping-room'style?"

"Yes,"saidI,"itlookslikehome.Iknowroomsjustlikeit."

"But I like these old primitive things," said Ida. "I like hardness and

simplicity.Iamsicktodeathofsoftnessandperfumedcushionsandease.Wewomenare swelteredunderdownbeds, and smotheredwith luxuries, inourmodernday, tillall the lifediesoutofus. Iwant to livewhile I live,and tokeepmyselfinsuchtrimthatIcandosomething—andIwon'tpetmyselfnorbepetted."

"There,"saidEva,laughing,"bloodwilltell;there'stheoldPuritanbrokenloose in Ida. She don't believe any of their doctrines, but she goes on theirtrack.She'sjustlikeaSt.Bernarddogthatshebroughthomeonce.Assoonassnowcame,hewaswildtorunoutandsearchinit,andusedtorunoffwholedays in thewoods, just becausehis ancestorswere trained tohunt travelers.Ida is as bent on testifying and going against the world as any oldCovenanter."

"Theworldneedsgoingagainst,"saidIda."Bytheby,Mr.Henderson,youmustallowmetothankyouforyourarticleonthe'WomanofourTimes,'intheMilkyWay.Itisbracing,andwilldogood."

"AndI,"saidEva,kindlingwithasortofflame-likevivacity,"havebeenperfectlydying to tellyou thatyoudon'tknowusfashionablegirls,and thatwe are not, after all, such poor trash as you seem to think. All the out-of-jointnessofsocietyisnotourfault."

"I protest,Miss Eva," said I, astonished at the eagerness of hermanner."I'msureIdon'tknowwhatIhavesaidtogivethatimpression."

"Oh, Idaresaynot.Youhaveonlyused thegoodstockphrasesandsaidtheusualthings.Youreformersandmoralists,andallthathavegotawayofsettingusgirlsdownassinnersasamatterofcourse,sothatyouneverthinkwhenyoudoit.The 'Dollsoffashion,' the 'Butterflies,'&c.,&c.,areusedtopointthemoralandadornthetale.Thegirloftheperiodisthescapegoatforall thenaughtythingsgoing.Now,Isaythegirlof theperiodisn'taparticleworse than theboyof theperiod;and I think reformershadbetter turn theirattentiontohim."

"But I don't remember," said I, astonished and confused at the suddenvivacityofthisattack,"thatIsaidanything."

"Oh,yes,butIdo.Youseeit'sthepartythat'shitthatknowswhenablowisstruck.Yousee,Mr.Henderson,itisn'tmerelyyou,buteverybody,fromtheLondon Spectator down, when they get on their preaching-caps, and comeforth to right the wrongs of society, begin about us—our dressiness, ourexpensiveness, our idleness, our extravagance, our heartlessness. The men,poor,dearcreatures,areledastrayandruinedbyus.It'stheoldstoryofAdam:'Thewomanbeguiledme.'"

"You see," said Ida, laughing, "Eva's conscience troubles her; that'swhy

she'ssosensitive."

"Well,that'sthetruth,"saidEva."I'mintheworld,andIdahasgoneoutofit;andsoshecansitby,allserene,whenhitsaremadeatus,andsay, 'Itoldyouso.'But,yousee,Iamin,andamallthewhilesurethatabouthalfwhattheysayofus is true,andthatmakesmesensitivewhentheysaytoomuch.But,Iinsistuponit,itisn'talltrue;andifitis,itisn'tourfault.Weareintheworldjustasweareinarailroad-car,andwecan'thelpitscarryinguson,evenifwedon'tliketheplacesittakesusthrough."

"Unlessyougetoutofit,"saidIda.

"Yes,but it takescourage togetoutalone,at somedesolatewaystation,and set up your tent, and make your way, and have everybody in the carsscreamingremonstrancesorlaughingatyou.Idahasthecouragetodoit,butIhaven't.Idon'tbelieveinmyselfenoughtodoit,soIstayinthecar,andwishIdidn't,andwishwewereallgoingabetterwaythanwedo."

"No,"saidIda;"womenarebroughtupinawaytosmotherallthelifeoutofthem.Allliteraturefromtheearliestagesteachesthemthatitisgracefultobe pretty and helpless; they aspire to be superficial and showy. They aredirectedtolookonthemselvesasflowers—

Gaywithouttoil,andlovelywithoutart,

Theyspringtocheerthesense,andwarmtheheart;

Norblush,myfair,tobecomparedtothese—

Yourbest,yournoblestmission,istoplease."

"Well,"saidEva,flushing,"wasn'titamanthatwrotethat?anddon'ttheyalwaysmisunderstandus?Wearesoft—weareweak—wedolovebeauty,andease,andcomfort;butthereisasomethinginusmorethantheygiveuscreditfor.WhereisthatplaceinCarlyle?"shesaid,risingwithahastyimpulse,andtakingdownavolume,andrunningrapidlyovertheleaves—"Oh,hereitis!"andshereadwithenergyfromCarlyle'sHeroWorship:

'Itisacalumnytosaythatmenarenervedtoheroicactionbyease,hopeofpleasure,recompense—sugar-plumsofanykind—inthisworldorthenext.Inthe meanest mortal there is something nobler. The poor, swearing soldier,hiredtobeshot,hashishonorofasoldierdifferentfromdrill,regulations,andthe shilling a day. It is not to taste sweet things, but to do noble and truethings,andvindicatehimselfunderGod'sheavenasaGod-mademan,thatthepoorest sonofAdamdimly longs.Showhim thewayofdoing that,and thedullestdrudgekindlesintoahero.

'Theywrongmangreatlywhosayheistobeseducedbyease.Difficulty,abnegation,martyrdom, death, are allurements that act on the heart ofman.

Kindle the inner genial life of him, and you have a flame that burns up alllowerconsiderations.'

"Now," she said,her faceglowing,andbringingdownher little fistwithemphasis,"thatistrueofwomenaswellasmen.Theywrongwomangreatlywho say she is to be seduced by ease. Difficulty, abnegation, martyrdom,death,areallurements thatacton theheartofwoman.Now,Mr.Henderson,everywoman that isawoman, feels this in thedepthsofherheart,and it isthisfeelingsuppressedthatisatthebottomofagreatdealofunhappinessinwoman'slife.Youmenhaveyourchancetoexpressit—thatisyourgreatgoodfortune. You are called to be heroes—your hour comes—butwe are buriedundereternalcommon-placesandtrifles."

"Yet,MissEva,"saidI,"Idon'tthinkwearesoverymuchbetteroffthanyou. The life of the great body of men is a succession of mere ignobledrudgeries, with nothing great or inspiring. Unless we learn to ennoble thecommon-placeby aheroic spirit,most of usmust pass through lifewithnoexpressionof thisaspiration;andI think thatmorewomensucceed indoingthis thanmen—in fact, I think it is the distinctive prerogative ofwoman toidealizelifebysheddinganennoblingspirituponitsverytrifles."

"Thatistrue,"shesaid,frankly;"butIconfessitneveroccurredtome;yetdon'tyouthinkithardertobeheroicinevery-dayaffairs?"

"Certainly;but those thatcan inspirecommon-placedrudgerywithnobleand heroic meanings are the true heroes. There was a carpenter once inNazarethwhoworked thirty years quietly at his bench; butwhodoubts thateverystrokeofthatworkwasinspiredandheroic,asmuchasthethreepublicyearsthatfollowed?Andtherearewomen,likehim,toilinginpoverty—hard-workingwives, long-sufferingmothers,whose every breath is heroic.Therecanbenocommon-placewheresuchnoblecreaturesliveandsuffer."

"Yes,Mr.Henderson,"saidIda,"heroismcanbeinanylifethatisawork-life—any lifewhich includes energy and self-denial. But fashionable life isbasedonmereloveofease.Allitseeksispleasurablesensationandabsenceofcareandtrouble,anditstarvesthisheroiccapability;andthatisthereason,asEvasays,whythereissomuchrepressedunhappinessinwomen.Itisthehungerofstarvingfaculties.Whatareallthesegirlsandwomenlookingfor?Amusement, excitement. What do they dread more than anything? Effort,industry, self-denial.Notoneof themcan read a seriousbook through—notbecausetheyarenotable,butbecauseittakesaneffort.Theyreadnothingbutserialstories,andif thereismuchthoughtinthem,theyskipit, togetat thestory.Alltheeducationtheygetinschoolsliesidle;theydonothingwithit,asa general thing. They neither read,write, nor speak their French, Italian, orGerman—andwhatistheuseofhavinggotthem?Menstudylanguagesasa

key to literature, and use literature for some purpose;women study only toforget. It doesnot take four languages and all theologies to enable them todance theGerman and compose new styles of trimming. Theymight do alltheydoequallyaswellwithouttheseexpensiveeducationsaswith——"

"There now, you have got sister Ida on her pet topic," said Eva, withheightenedcolor;"shewilltakeupherprophecynow,andgiveittouswickeddaughtersofZion;but,afterall,itonlymakesonefeelworriedandbad,andonedoesn'tknowwhattodo.Wedon'tmaketheworld;wearebornintoandfind it ready made.We find certain things are customs—certain things areexpectedofus—andwebegin tosayA,and thenwemustsayB,andsoonthroughthewholealphabet.Wedon'twanttosayB,butwemustbecausewehavesaidA.Itisn'teveryonethatisbraveandstrongenoughtoknowwheretostop,andfacetheworld,andsay,'No,Iwillnotdoit.'Wemustkeepstepwithourneighbors."

"Well,"saidIda,"whoisitthatsays,'Benotconformedtotheworld'?"

"Yes—Iknow,"saidEva;"there'stheBible—thereareallthelessonsandprayersandhymnsoftheChurchallgoingoneway,andourlivesallgoingtheother—all our lives—everybody's life—even nice people's lives—all go theother way; except now and then one. There's our new rector, now, he isbeginningtotrytobringusuptoliveastheChurchdirects;butmammaandAuntMaria, and all of them, cry out that he isHighChurch, and going toPopery, andall that; they say that ifone is to liveashe says, andgoout toprayersmorningandevening,andtoHolyCommunioneverySunday,itwilljustupsetourwholeplanof life, thatonemightaswellgointoaconvent—and so it will. One can't be in parties all night, and go to prayers everymorning;onecan'tgothroughthatawfulHolyCommunioneverySunday,andlive aswe generally do through theweek.All our rector is trying to do, issimply tomakea realityofourprofession;hewantsus tocarryout ingoodfaithwhatislaiddowninthePrayer-book;butyouseewecan'tdoitwithoutgivinguptheworldaswehaveitarrangednow.Formypart,I'mgoingtothedailyservicesinLent, ifIdon'tanyother time,andthoughitdoesmakemefeeldreadfullywickedanduncomfortable."

"Oh, you poor child!" said Ida; "why haven't you strength to do as youplease?"

"Whyhaven'tIthearmofablacksmith?whycan'tIwalktenmiles?Therearedifferencesofpowerinmindaswellasbody,"saidEva.

TheconversationwasinterruptedatthismomentbyMr.VanArsdel,whoenteredquietly,withhisspectaclesandnewspapers.

"Thechildrenarehavinglivelytimesinthere,"hesaid,"andIthoughtI'd

justcomehereandsitwhereit'squiet,andreadmypapers."

"Papasaysthateveryevening,"saidEva.

"Well, the fact is, Mr. Henderson," said he, with a confiding sort ofsimplicity,"IdaandIfeelathomeinhere,becauseit'sjustthelittleoldplacewifeandIhadwhenwebegan.Yousee, theseareallmyold things thatwefirstwent tohousekeepingwith,and I like them. Ididn'twant tohave themsentofftoauction,iftheyareoldandclumsy."

"And he should have them, so he should, Pa-sey dear," said Eva,caressingly, putting her arm round his neck. "But come, Mr. Henderson, Isupposethegayworldoutsidewillexpectus."

Ihad risenandwas lookingover the library. Itwas largelycomposedofmodernscientificandphysiologicalworks.

"Youseemylightreading,"saidIda,withasmile.

"Ida'sbooksare a constant reproach tome," saidEva; "but I dip innowandthen,andfishupsomewonderfulpearloutofthem;however,Iconfesstojustthefatallazinessshereprobates—Idon'tgothroughanything."

"Well,Mr.Henderson,wewon'tkeepyoufromtheworldoftheparlors,"said Ida; "but consideryouhave the entréeherewheneveryouwant aquiettalk;andwewillbefriends,"shesaid,stretchingoutherhandwiththeairofaqueen.

"Youhonormetoomuch,MissVanArsdel,"saidI.

"Comenow,Mr.Henderson,wecan'tallowourprincipalliteraryliontobekeptinsecretplaces,"saidMissEva."Youareexpectedtowalkupanddownandshowyourself; therearehalf adozengirls towhomIhavepromised topresentyou."

And in a moment I found myself standing in a brilliant circle of gaytropical birds of fashion, where beauty, or the equivalent of beauty,charmingness, was the rule, and not the exception. In foreign lands, mypatriotic pride had often been fed by the enthusiasm excited by mycountrywomen. The beauty and grace of American women their success inforeign circles, has passed into a proverb; and in a NewYork company ofyounggirlsoneisreallydazzledbyprettiness.Itisnotthegrave,grand,nobletype of the Madonna and the Venus de Milo, but the delicate, brilliant,distractingprettinessofyoungbirds,kittens, lambs,andflowers—somethingairy and fairy—belonging to youth and youthful feeling. You see few thatpromisetoripenandwaxfairerinmiddlelife;butalmostallarelikedelicate,perfectly-blossomed flowers—fair, brilliant and graceful, with a fragile andevanescentbeauty.

Themannersofourgirlshavebeencriticised,fromtheforeignstandpoint,somewhatseverely.Itistheverynatureofrepublicaninstitutionstogiveasortofunconventionalfreedomtoitswomen.Thereisnoupperworldofcourtandaristocracy tomake laws for them, or press down a framework of etiquetteuponthem.Individualfreedomofopinionandactionpervadeseveryschool;itis breathed in the very air, and each one is, in a great degree, a law untoherself.EveryAmericangirlfeelsherselfinthenobility;shefeelsadequatetothe situation, and perfectly poised in it. She dares do many things notpermitted in foreign lands, because she feels strong inherself, andperfectlysureofherpower.

Yethewhoshouldpresumeon this frankgenerosityofmanner,will findthatDianahasherarrows;andthatherstepisfreeonlybecausesheknowsherstrength,andunderstandsherselfperfectly,andiscompetenttoanysituation.

At present, the room was full of that battledore-and-shuttlecockconversation, in which everything in heaven above or earth beneath isbantered to and fro, flitting and flyinghere and there fromonebright lip toanother.

"Now,reallyandtruly,girls,areyougoingtotheearlyservicesthisLent?Oh,Mr.Selwynissuchagoodman!andwasn'thispastoralletterbeautiful?Wereallyoughttogo.But,girls,Ican'tgetup—indeed,Ican't;doyouknow,it'sdreadful—seveno'clock—onlythinkofit.Youwon'tgo,Eva?"

"Yes,Ishall."

"Ilayyouapairofglovesyouwon't,now,"quothamouth,adornedwithalongpairofwaxedmoustachesofatrueImperialtype.

"SeeifIdon't."

"Oh,mammasaysImustn'ttry,"saidanother;"Ihaven'tthestrength."

"AndItellEvashecan'tdoit,"saidMrs.VanArsdel."Evaisalwaysover-doing;sheworkedherselftodeathinamissionclasslastyear.Thefactis,onecan'tdothesethings,andgointosociety."

"Butwhat'stheuseofsociety,mamma?"saidEva.

"Oh, well; we can't all turn intomonks and nuns, you know; and that'swhat thesemodernHighChurchdoingswouldbringus to. I'magood,old-fashionedEpiscopalian; Ibelieve ingoing tochurchonSundays—and that'sallweusedtohearabout."

"Doyouknow,Mr.Fellows,IsawyouatSt.Alban's,"saidMissAlice.

"Onyourknees,too,"saidMissEva.

"Do you believe in bowing to the altar?" said a third; "I think it's quite

Popish."

"Girls,what aregoing tobeworn forhats this spring?haveyoubeen toMadameDeTullerigs?Ideclareit'sashame!butLentisjustthebusiesttimeabout one's clothes, one must have everything ready for Easter, you know.Howdoyoulikethenewcolors,Mr.Fellows?"

"What!thehell-firecolors?"saidJim.

"Oh,horrors!Youdreadfulcreature,yououghttobeashamedofyourself!"screamedinfourorfivevoices.

"Amashamed—sackclothandashes,andallthat;eatnothingbutcodfish,"saidJim."Butthat'swhattheycall'em,anyway—hell-firecolors."

"Ineverdidhearsuchaprofanecreature.Girls,isn'thedreadful?"

"Isay,MissAlice,"saidJim,"doyougo toconfessionup there? 'Cause,yousee,ifthatthingisgettingabout,IthinkI'llturnpriest."

"Ithinkyououghttogotoconfession,"saidshe.

"Ishallinthegoodtimescoming,whenwehaveladypriests."

"Oh,Mr.Henderson,doyoubelieveinwomen'srights?"

"Certainly."

"Well,formypart,IhavealltherightsIwant,"saidMissAlice.

"Ishouldthinkyoudid,"saidJimFellows;"butit'shardonus."

"Well,Ithinkthatisallinfidelity,"saidanother—"goesagainsttheBible.Doyouthinkwomenoughttospeakinpublic?"

"RistoriandFannyKemble,forinstance,"saidI.

"Oh,well—theyarespeakingotherpeople'swords;buttheirown?"

"Whynotaswellasinprivate?"

"Oh,because—why,Ithinkit'sdreadful;don'tyou?"

"I can't perceive why. I am perfectly charmed to hear women speak, inpublicorprivate,whohaveanythinggoodoragreeabletosay."

"Butthepublicityissoshocking!"

"Isitanymorepublicthanwaltzingatthegreatpublicballs?"

"Oh,well,Ithinklecturingisdreadful;you'llneverconvinceme.Ihateallthosedreadful,raving,tearing,strammingwomen."

Inwhich very logical and consecutiveway the leading topics of the agewere elegantlydisposedof; and at eleveno'clock I foundmyself out on the

pavementwiththeinexhaustibleJim,whowentsingingandwhistlingbymysideasfreshasamorningblackbird.Myheadwasinaprettythoroughwhirl;butIwasinitiatedintosociety,—towhatpurposeshallhereafterappear.

CHAPTERXIX.

FLIRTATION.

Look there," said JimFellows, throwing down a pair of Jouvin's gloves."There'sfromthedivineAlice."

"Apresent?"

"Aphilopena."

"Seemstome,Jim,youarepushingyourfortunesinthatquarter?"

"Yes;havingagaytime!Adoringattheshrineandallthat,"saidJim."ThelovelyAlice is like one of theMadonna pictures—to be knelt to, sworn to,vowedto—butIcan'tbethepossessor.Inthemeanwhile,let'shaveasgoodatimeaspossible.Wehavetheverybestmutualunderstanding.Iamherswornknight,andwearhercolors—behold!"

And Jimopenedhis coat, and showedaprettyknot of carnation-coloredribbon.

"But,Ithought,Jim,youtalkedtheothernightasifyoucouldgetanyofthemyouwanted?"

"WhosaysIcouldn't,man?DoesnottheimmortalShakespearesay,'Sheisawoman;thereforetobewon'?Youdon'tgotodoubtingShakespeareatthistimeofday,Ihope?"

"Well,then—"

"Well, then; you seeHal, we get wiser every day—that is, I do—and itbeginstobeborneinonmymindthattheserichgirlswon'tpay,ifyoucouldgetthem.Thegameisn'tworththecandle."

"Butthereisrealthoughtandfeelingandcultivationamongthem,"saidI,takingupthegauntletwithenergy.

"Sothereisrealjuiceinhot-housegrapes;butifIshouldhaveapresentofahot-houseto-morrow,whatshouldIhavetorunitwith?Thesegirlshavetheeducationofroyalprincesses,andallthehabitsandwantsofthem;andwhatcouldafellowdowiththemifhegotthem?Wehaven'tanyParliamenttovotedowries tokeep themupon. I declare, Iwishyouhadheard thosegirls the

othernightgoonaboutthatengagement,andwhattheyexpectedwhentheirtimecomes.Doyouknowthestepsofgettingengaged?"

"IcannotsayIhavethathappiness,"saidI.

"Well, first, there's the engagement-ring, not a sign of love, youunderstand,butathingtobediscussedandcomparedwithalltheengagement-rings,past,present,andtocome,withTom'sring,andDick'sring,andHarry'sring. If you could have heard the girls tell over the prices of the differentengagement-rings for the last six months, and bring up with Rivington's,which,itseems,isasolitaireworthathousand!Henceforthnothinglessistobe thought of. Then the wedding present to your wife. Rivington gives$30,000 worth of diamonds. Wedding fees, wedding journey to everyexpensiveplace that canbe thoughtof,youought tohavea little fortune tobegin with. The lovely creatures are perfectly rapacious in their demandsunder theseheads. Iheardfull listsofwhere theyweregoingandwhat theywantedtohave.Thencomesahouse,inafashionablequarter, tothetuneoffiftythousanddollars;thenfurniture,carriages,horses,opera-boxes.Theshortofthematteris,oldVanArsdel'sfamilyarehavingajollytimeontheincomeofamillion.Therearesixofthem,andeveryonewantstosetupinlifeonthesameincome.So,yousee,thesumishowtodivideamillionsoastomakesixmillionsoutofit.Thewaytodoitisplain.Eachsonanddaughtermustmarryamillion,andgetasmuchofamanorwomanwithitaspleasesheaven."

"Andsupposesomeofthemshouldlovesomeman,orwoman,morethangoldorsilver,andchooseloveinplaceofmoney?"saidI.

"Well,"saidJim,"that'squitesupposable;anyofthesegirlsiscapableofit.Butafterall,itwouldberoughonapoorgirltotakeheratherword.Whatdotheyknowaboutit?Theonlydomesticqualificationthemostpracticalofthemeverthinkofattaining,ishowtomakesponge-cake.Ibelieve,whentheyarethinkingofgettingmarried,theygenerallymakealittlesponge-cake,andmixasaladdressing,thatfitsthemforthesolemnandawfulpositionofwifeandmother,whichyouhearsomuchabout.Now,thequeenlyAliceisasplendidgirl,andcantalkFrenchandGermanandItalian;butherknowledgeofnaturalhistoryislimited.Iimagineshethinksglovesgrowinpacksonthetrees,andartificialflowersareraisedfromseed,anddressesdevelopbyuniformlawsofnatureattherateofthreeorfouramonth.Ifyoucouldgetthedarlingtoflytoyourarms,and theoldgentlemanshouldcome 'round,andgiveherwhathecould afford, how could you console her when she finds out the price ofgloves and gaiter-boots, and all the ordinary comforts? I'm afraid the dearchildwillbereadytomurderyouforhelpinghertoherownway.Soyousee,Jimdoesn'tinvestinengagement-ringsthisyear."

ThereuponIsung:

"Aslyoldfoxonedaydidspy,

Abunchofgrapesthathungsohigh,"&c.

"Singaway,mygoodfellow,"saidJim."MaybeIamthefox;butI'mafoxthathascuthiseye-teeth.I'mtoocutetoputmyneckinthatnoose,yousee.No,sir;youcanmention toQueenVictoria that ifshewantsJimFellows tomarry one of her daughters, why Parliament has got to come downhandsomely with dowry to keep her on. They are worth keeping, thesesplendidcreationsofnatureandart;butittakesasmuchastorunafirst-classsteamer.Theygoexactlyinthelineoffinepicturesandstatuary,andallthat.Theymaybeadorableandinspiring,andexaltingandrefiningandpurifying,theverypoetryofexistence,thealtogetherlovely;but,afterall,itisonlytherichthatcanaffordtokeepthem.Awifecostsmoreinourdaythanacarriageoraconscience,andboththoseareluxuriestooexpensiveforJim."

"Jim! Jim!! Jim!!!" I exclaimed, in tones of expostulation; but theimpracticableJimcutatallpirouette,andsung,

"Myoldmassatoldmeso,

Bestlookingniggerinthecountry,O!

IlookedintheglassandIfounditso—o—o—O—O."

Thecrescendoheremadethepapersflutter,andcreatedalivelybreezeintheapartment.

"And now, farewell, divinestAlice, Jimmust go towork.Let's see.Oh!I've promised a rip-staving skinner on Tom Brown in that Custom Houseaffair."

"Whatisthatbusiness?WhathasBrowndone?Ifallistruethatisallegedheoughttobeturnedoutofdecentsociety."

"Ohpshaw!youdon'tunderstand;itsnothingbutadustwe'rekickingupbecause its a dry time. Brown's a good fellow enough, I dare say, but youknow we want to sell our papers and these folks want hot hash with theirbreakfasteverymorning,andsomebodyhasgottobeservedup.YouseetheSeven Stars started this story, and sold immensely, and we come in on thewave;thewordtoourpaperis'pitchin'andsoI'mpitchingin."

"But, Jim, is it the fair thing todowhenyoudon'tknow the truthof thestory?"

"Thetruth!well,mydearfellow,whoknowsorcaresanythingabouttruthinourdays?Wewanttosellourpapers."

"And to sell your papers you will sell your honor as a man and agentleman."

"Oh!bother,Hal,withyourpreaching."

"But,Jim,yououghttoexaminebothsidesandknowthetruth."

"Idoexamine;generallywriteonbothsideswhentheserowscomeon.I'mgoingtodefendBrownintheForum;youseetheysentroundyesterdayforanarticle,soyouseeJimmakeshislittlepeculiumbothways."

"Jim,isthatthesquarething?"

"Whynot?ItwouldpuzzletheDevilhimselftomakeoutwhatthetruthisin one of our real double and twisted New York newspaper rows. I don'tpretendtodoit,butI'llshowupeithersideorbothsidesifI'mpaidforit.Weyoungmenmust live! If thepublicmusthave spicerywemustget itup forthem. We only serve out what they order. I tell you, now, what this greatAmericanpeoplewantsisasemi-occasionalrowaboutsomething,nomatterwhat;amurder,orarevival,oragreatpreacher,ortheBlackCrook;theLordor theDevil, anything tomakematters lively, and break up the confoundeddulltimesroundinthecountry."

"Andsoyougetuplittlepersonallegends,myths,aboutthisorthatman?"

"Exactly, that's what public men are good for. They are our drums andtamborines;webeaton 'emtoamusethepeopleandmakeavariety;nobodycares foranythingmore thanaday; theyforget it to-morrow,andsomethingelseturnsup."

"Andyouthinkit right,"saidI,"touseupcharacter justasyoudoboot-blacking to make your boots shine? How would you like to be treated soyourself?"

"Shouldn't mind it a bit—Bless your buttons—it don't hurt anybody.Nobodythinkstheworseofthem.Why,youcouldproveconclusivelythatanyofourpublicmenbreakthewholetencommandmentsatasmash—break'emforbreakfast,dinnerandsupper,anditwouldn'thurt'em.Peopleonlyohandahandrolluptheireyesandsay"Terrible!"andgooutandmeethim,andit's"My dear fellow how are you? why haven't you been round to our houselately?"Byandbytheysay,"Lookhere,we'retiredofthisaboutBrown,giveusmorevariety."ThenJonesturnsupandoffgothewholepackafterJones.Thatkeepsmatterslively,yousee."

I laughed and Jimwas perfectly satisfied.All that he everwanted in anargumentwastoraisealaugh,andhewastriumphant,andwentscratchingonwith his work with untiring industry. He always left me with an uneasyfeeling,thatbylaughingandlettinghimaloneIwasbuthalfdoingmyduty,andyetitseemedaboutasfeasibletopresentmoralconsiderationstoabob-o-link.

"There,"hesaid,afterhalfanhourofscribbling,"there'ssomuchforoldMam."

"Who'sold'Mam'?"

"Haven't heard! why, your mistress and mine, the old Mammon ofunrighteousness;sheismistressofallthingsherebelow.Youcan'tevencarryon religion in thisworldbut throughher.Youmust courtoldMam,oryourchurches,andyourmissions,andalltherestgounder,andJimworkshardforher,andsheoweshimaliving."

"Therehavebeenmeninourdaywhoprevailedinspiteofher."

"Who,forexample?"

"Garrison."

"Well,he'stopoftheheapnow,sureenough,butItellyouthatwasalonginvestment.Jimhastorunonreadycashandsellwhat'saskedfornow.Istandat my counter, "Walk up, gentlemen, what'll you take; orders taken andexecutedwithpromptnessanddespatch.Religion?yessir.Here'stheaccountof the work of Divine grace in Skowhegan; fifty awakened and thirty-nineindulginginhope.Here'scriticismonBoanerges'orthodoxy,showinghowhedepartsfromthegreatvitaldoctrinesofgrace,givingupHellandalltheotherconsolations of our holy religion. We'll serve you out orthodoxy red hot.Anythinginthisline?Here'sthelatestaboutsweetlittleDameAuxCamelias,andlovelylittleKittyBlondine.

'Oh!Kittyismydarling,mydarling,mydarling,etc.'

Andhere'sthereformatory,redhot,hitormiss,here'sfortheniggersandthepaddiesandthewomenandalltheenslavedclasses.Jimwillgoitforanyofthem,onlygivehimhisprice."Ithinkofgettingupashowbillwithlistofpricesaffixed.Jimwillrunanybodyuporrunanybodydowntoorder."

I put my hand over his mouth. "Come, you born magpie," said I, "youshan'tmakeyourselfoutsomuchworsethanyouare."

[EvaVanArsdeltoIsabelConvers.]

MyDearBelle:—ItoldyouIwouldwritetheendofmylittleadventure,andwhether the "hermit" comes or not. Yes, my dear, sure enough, he didcome, and mamma and we all like him immensely; he had really quite asuccess among us. Even Ida, who never receives calls, was gracious andallowedhimtocomeintohersanctumbecauseheisachampionofthemodernidea about women. Have you seen an article in the "Milky Way" on the"Women of our Times," taking themodern radical ground?Well, it was byhim;itsuitedIdatoahair,butsomelittlethingsinitvexedmebecausetherewas a phrase or two about the "fashionable butterflies," and all that; that

comesagreatdeal toonear the truth tobealtogetheragreeable. Idon't carewhen Ida says such things, because she's another woman, and betweenourselvesweknow there is a deal of nonsense current amongus, and ifwehaveamindtotalkaboutitamongourselves,whyitslikeabusingone'sownrelationsinthebosomofthefamily,oneofthesweetestdomesticprivileges,youknow;but,whenlordlymanbeginstocometojudgmentandcallovertherollofoursins, Iaminclined to tellhimto lookathome,and tosay,"Pray,whatdoyouknowaboutussir?"Istandupformysex,rightorwrong;soyouseewe had a spicy little controversy, and Imade the hermit open his eyes,(and, between us, he has handsome eyes to open). He looked innocentlyastonished at first to be taken up so briskly, and called to account for hissayings.Youseethewaythesemenhaveofgoingonandtalkingwithoutbookaboutusquiteblindsthem;theycansetusdownconclusivelyintheabstractwhen theydon't seeusorhearus,butwhena real livegirlmeets themandasksanaccountoftheirsayingstheybegintobepuzzled.However,Imustsaymylordcantalkwhenhefairlyisputuptoit.Heisatrue,serious,earnest-heartedman,anddoes talkbeautifully,andhiseyesspeakwhenhe issilent.The forepart of the evening, you see we were in a state of most charmingagreement;hewas inour little"Italy,"andwehad thenicestof timesgoingoverallthepicturesandportfoliosandthedearoldItalianlife;itseemsasifwe had both of us seen, and thought of, and liked the same things—itwasreallycurious!

Well, like enough, that's all there is to it. Ten to one he never will callagain.Mammainvitedhim tobehereeveryWednesday,quiteurged ituponhim,buthesaidhistimewassofilledupwithwork.Thereyouseeiswheremenhavetheadvantageofgirls!Theyhavesomethingdefinitetofilluptheirtime,thoughtandhearts;wenothing,sowethinkofthemfromsheeridleness,and they forgetus throughpressofbusiness.Ten toonehenevercallshereagain.Whyshouldhe?Ishouldn'tthinkhewould.Iwouldn'tifIwerehe.Heisn'tadancingman,noranidler,butonethattakeslifeearnestly,andafterallIdaresayhethinksusfashionablegirlsasadset.ButI'msurehemustadmireIda;andshewaswonderfullygraciousforher,andgavehimtheentréeofhersanctum,wherethereneverareanybutrationalsayingsanddoings.

Well,weshallsee.

IamprovokedwithwhatyoutellmeaboutthereportsofmyengagementtoMr.Sydney,andItellyounowonceagain"No,no."ItoldyouinmylastthatIwasnotengaged,andInowtellyouwhatismorethatInevercan,shallorwillbeengagedtohim;mymindismadeup,buthowtogetoutofthenetthatisclosingroundmeIdon'tsee.Ithinkallthesethingsare"perplexinganddisagreeable."Ifagirlwantstodothefairthingitishardtoknowhow.Firstyourefuseoutright,andthenmylordcomesasafriend.Willyouonlyallow

him the liberty to try and alter your feelings, and all that?You shall not beforced;heonlywantsyoutogetmoreacquainted,andtheresultisyougoongettingwebbedandmeshedindayafterdaymoreandmore.Youcan'trefuseflowersandattentionsofferedbyafriend;ifyoutakethemyoumaybequitesure they will be made to mean more. Mamma and Aunt Maria have aprovokingwayoftalkingaboutitconstantlyasasettledthing,andonecan'tprotestfrommorningtillnight,apropostoeveryword.Atfirsttheyurgedmetoreceivehisattentions;nowtheyaresayingthatIhaveacceptedsomanyIcan'thonorablywithdraw.Andsohedoesn'treallygivemeanopportunitytobring the matter to a crisis; he has a silent taking-for-granted air, that isprovoking.Butthelawthatbindsoursexisthelawofallghostsandspirits;wecan'tspeaktillwearespokento;meanwhilereportsspread,andpeoplesayhateful things as if youwere trying and failing.Howangry thatmakesme!One is almost tempted sometimes to accept just to show that one can; but,seriously, dear Belle, this is wicked trifling. Marriage is an awful, atremendous thing, andwe of the church arewithout excuse ifwe go into itlightlyorunadvisedly,andInevershallmarrytillIseethemanthatismyfate.I havewhatmamma calls domestic ideas, and I'm going to have them, andwhenImarryitshallbeforthemanalone,notapiecedupaffairofcarriages,horses,diamonds,operaboxes,cashmereswithaman,butamanforwhomalltheworldwerewelllost;thenIshallnotbeafraidofthechurchservicewhichnowstandsbetweenmeandMr.Sydney. Icannot, Idarenot lie toGodandswearfalselyatthealtar,togainthewholeworld.

Iwishyoucouldhearournewrector.Heismakingasensationamongus.Ifthelifeheiscallingonusalltoliveistherealandtrueone,weshallsoonhavetochoosebetweenwhatiscalledsociety,andthechurch;forifbeingachurch-womanmeansall he says,onecannotbe in itwithout reallymakingreligionthelife'sbusiness—which,youknow,wenoneofusdoorhave.Dearman,whenIseehimtuggingandstrainingtogetourold,sleepy,richfamiliesintoheavenlyways,IthinkofPegasusyokedtoastonecart.Heisalllifeandenergyandenthusiasm,hebreathesfire,andhiswingsarespreadheavenward,butthere'stheolddead,lumberingcartathisheels!Poorman!—andpoorcarttoo—forIaminitwiththerestofthelumber!

We are in all the usual Spring agonies now about clothes. The housereverberateswiththediscussionofhatsandbonnets,andfeathersandflowers,andoverskirtsandunderskirts,andalltheparaphernalia—andwhatanabsurdcombinationitmakeswiththedailyservicesinLent.Absurd?No—dreadful!foratchurchwearereadingofourSaviour'spovertyandfastingandagonies—whatacontrastbetweenhislifeandours!Wasittomakeussuchaswearethathethuslivedanddied?

CousinSophiaishappyinherdutiesinthesisterhood.Herchurchlifeand

dailylifeareallofapiece—onepartisnotamockeryoftheother.There'sIdatoo—outofthechurch,makingnoprofessionofchurchlyreligion,butlivingwhollyoutofthisbustling,worldlysphere,devotedtoanoblelifepurpose—fittingherselftomakenewandbetterpathsforwomen.Idahasnoneofthesedress troubles; she has cut loose from all. Her simple black dress costsincredibly less than our outfit—it is all arranged with a purpose—yet shealwayshastheairofalady,andshehasbesidesarealrepose,whichweneverdo.Thismatter of dress has a thousand jars andworries and vexations to afastidiousnature;onewishesonewereoutofit.

Ihaveheardthatnunsoftensaytheyaremoreblessedthanevertheywereintheworld,andIcanconceivewhy,—itisaperfectandblissfulrestfromallthat troublesordinarywomen.In thefirstplace, themarriagequestion.Theyknow that they are not to bemarried, and it is a comfort to have a definitesettlement of thatmatter. Then all agitations and fluctuations about that areover.Inthenextplace,thedressquestion.Theyhaveadressprovided,putiton,andwearitwithoutthoughtorinquiry;thereisnoroomforthought,orusefor inquiry. In the thirdplace, thequestionof sphereandwork is settled forthem; theyknow theirdutiesexactly;and if theydon't, there isadirector totellthem;theyhaveonlytoobey.Thismustberest—blissfulrest.

Ithinkofitsometimes,andwonderwhyitisthatthisdressquestionmustsmotheruswomenandwearusout,and takeourwhole lifeandbreathas itdoes!Inourfamilyitisperfectlyfearful.Ifonehadonlyone'sselftoplease,itishardenough—whatwithone'sownfastidioustaste,withdressmakerswhoneverkeeptheirword,andpushyouoffatthelastmomentwithabominablethings;butwhenonehaspleasedone'sself,thencomesmamma,andthenallthegirls,everyonewithanopinion;andthenwhenthisgauntletisrun,comesAuntMaria,moresolemnanddictatorialthanthewhole—sothatbythetimeanything gets really settled, one is so fatigued that life doesn't seem reallyworthhaving.

ItoldMr.Henderson,inourlittlediscussionlastnight,thatIenviedmenbecause they had a chance to live a real, grand, heroic life, whileweweresmotheredundertriflesandcommon-places,andhesaid,inreply,thatthemenhadnomorechancesinthiswaythanwe;thattheirswasalifeofdrudgeriesanddetail;andthattheonlywayformanorwomanwastoanimateordinarydutiesbyaheroicspirit.Hesaidthatwoman'sspecialitywastoidealizelifebysheddinganoblespirituponitsordinarytrifles.Idon't thinkheisaltogetherright.Istillthinktheopportunitiesforanoblelifearetentooneinthehandsofmen;butstillthereisagreatdealinwhathesays.Hespokebeautifullyofthenoblespiritshownbysomewomenindomesticlife.I thoughtperhapsitwashismotherhewasthinkingof.Hemusthaveknownsomenoblewoman,forhiseyekindledwhenhespokeaboutit.

How I have run on—andwhat amedley this letter is. I dare not look itover, for I should be sure to toss it into the fire.Write tome soon, dearestBella,andtellmewhatyouthinkofmatterssofar.

Youreverloving

Eva.

CHAPTERXX.

IBECOMEAFAMILYFRIEND.

I have often had occasion to admire the philosophical justice of popularphrases.Theordinarycantphraseologyof lifegenerallyrepresentsahomelytruthbecauseithasgrownuponrealitylikealichenuponarock."Fallinginlove"isaphraseofthiskind;itrepresentsjustthatphenomenonwhichisallthetimehappeningamongthesonsanddaughtersofAdaminmostunforeseentimes and seasons, and often when the subject least intends it, and evenintendssomethingquitethecontrary.

The popular phrase "falling in love" denotes something that comesunexpectedly.Onemaywalkintolovepreparedly,advisedly,withtheeyesofone's understandingopen;butone falls in love asone falls down stairs in adarkentry,simplybecausethefootissetwherethereisnothingforittostandon,whichItaketobeasimileofmostphilosophicalgoodresolutions.

I flatteredmyself at this period ofmy existence, that Iwas a thorough-pacedphilosopher;amanthathadoutlivedthesnaresandillusionsofyouth,and held himself and all his passions and affections under most perfectcontrol.

Thetimehadnotyetcomemarkedoutinmysupremewisdomformetomeditatematrimonialideas:inthemeanwhile,Iresolvedtomakethemostofthatpleasantandconvenientarboron theHillDifficultywhichiscommonlycalledFriendship.

Concerning this arbor I have certain observations to make. It is mostcommodiouslysituated,andcommandscharmingprospects.Weareinformedofsome,thatonacleardayonecanseefromitquiteplainlyasfarastotheDelectableMountains.FrommyownexperienceIhavenodoubtofthisfact.For a young man of five-and-twenty or thereabouts, not at present incircumstances tomarry,what ismorecharming than tobecome the intimatefriend in a circle of vivacious and interesting young ladies, in easycircumstances, who live in a palace surrounded by all the elegancies,

refinements,andcomfortsoflife?

More blissful still, if he be welcomed to these bowers of beauty by acharming and courteousmammawho hopes hewillmake himself at home,andassureshimthattheywilltreathimquiteasoneofthefamily.Thismeans,of course, that perfect confidence is reposed in his discretion.He is labeled—"Safe."Heistogazeonallthesecharms,withadisinterestedspirit,withoutathoughtofpersonalappropriation.Ofcourseheisnottostandinthewayofeligible establishments that may offer, but meanwhile he can make himselfgenerally agreeable and useful.Hemay advise the fair charmers as to theirreading and superintend the cultivation of their minds; he may be on handwheneveranescortisneededtoaparty,hemaybrightenupdulleveningsbyreading aloud, and in short may be that useful individual that is looked on"quiteasabrother,youknow."

Youngmenwho glide into this position in families, generally, I believe,enjoyitquiteasmuchasthemoth-millerswhoseemtoderivesuchpleasurefrom the light and beat of the evening lamp, and with somewhat similarresults. But though thousands of these unsophisticated insects singe theirwings every evening, the thousand-and-first one comes to the chargewith alight heart in his bosom, andquite as satisfied of his good fortune as IwaswhenMrs.VanArsdelwiththesweetestandmostmotherlytonessaidtome,"Iknow,Mr.Henderson, thelonelylifeyouyoungmenmust leadwhenyoufirstcometocities;youhavebeenaccustomedtothehomecircle,tomotherandsisters,anditmustbeverydreary.Pray,makethisasortofhome;dropinatanytime,ourparlorsarealwaysopen,andsomeofusabout;orifnot,why,therearethepicturesandthebooks,youknow,andthereisthelibrarywhereyoucanwrite."

Surely it was impossible for a young man to turn away from all thisallurement.Itwastheoldclassicstory:—

"ThemotherCircewiththeSyrensthree,

AmongtheflowerykirtledNaïdes."

Mrs.VanArsdel,asIsaid,wasoneofthreefairsisterswhohadattainedagreat celebrity, in the small provincial townwhere theywereborn, for theirpersonalcharms.TheywereknownfarandnearasthebeautifulMissAskotts.Theirfatherwasamanratherinthelowerwalksoflife,andthefortunesofthefamilyweremadesolelybythepersonalattractionsofthedaughters.

Theoldestof these,MariaAskott,married intooneof the so-called firstNewYork families. Thematchwas deemed in the day of it a very brilliantone.TomWouvermanwasrich,showy,anddissipated;andinaveryfewyearsranthroughbothwithhispropertyandconstitution,andlefthiswifethetask

ofmaintainingagenteelstandingonverylimitedmeans.

The second sister, Ellen, marriedMr. Van Arsdel when he was in quitemodestcircumstances,andhadbeencarriedupsteadilybyhisbusinessabilitytothehighercirclesofNewYorklife.ThethirdhadmarriedarichSouthernplanterwhosefortuneshavenothingtodowithmystory.

TheVanArsdelhousehold,likemostAmericanfamilies,wassubstantiallyunderfemininerule.Mr.VanArsdelwasaquiet,silentman,whosewholesoulwasabsorbedinbusiness,andwholefttohiswifethewholechargeofallthatconcernedthehouseholdandhischildren.

Mrs.VanArsdel,however,wasunderthecontrolofhereldersister.Thereareborndictatorsaswellasbornpoets.Certainpeoplecome into theworldwiththeinstinctandtalentforrulingandteaching,andcertainotherswiththedesireandinstinctofbeingtaughtandruledover.Therearepeoplebornwithsuch a superfluous talent for management and dictation that they always,instinctivelyandasamatterofcourse,arrangenotonlytheirownaffairsbutthoseoftheirfriendsandrelations,inthemostefficientandcompletemannerpossible.Suchisthetendencyofthingstoadaptationandharmony,thatwheresuch persons exist we are sure to find them surrounded by those who takedelight in being guided,who like to learn and to look up. Such a domesticrulerwasMrs.MariaWouverman,commonlyknownintheVanArsdelcircleas "AuntMaria," a name ofmight and authority anxiously interrogated andquotedinallpassagesoffamilyhistory.

Now the fact is quite striking that the personswho hold this position indomesticpolicyareoftennotparticularlystrongorwise.Thegoverningmindofmanyacircle isnotbyanymeans themindbest fittedeithermentallyormorallytogovern.Itisneitherthebestnorthecleverestindividualofagivennumberwho influences their opinions and conduct, but the person themostperseveringlyself-asserting.It isamusinginlookingattheworldtoseehowmuchpeoplearetakenat theirownvaluation.Thepersonswhoalwayshaveanopiniononeverypossiblesubjectreadymade,andputupandlabeledforimmediate use, concerning which they have no shadow of a doubt orhesitation, are from that very quality born rulers. This positiveness, andpreparedness, and readiness may spring from a universal shallowness ofnature,butitisnonethelessefficient.Whilepeopleofdeeperperceptionsandmore insight are wavering in delicate distresses, balancing testimony andpraying for light, this common-place obtuseness comes in and leads allcaptive,bymereforceofknowingexactlywhatitwants,andbeingincapableofseeingbeyondtheissuesofthemoment.

Mrs.MariaWouvermanwasallthis.Shealwaysbelievedinherself,fromthe cradle. The watchwords of her conversation were always of a positive

nature."Tobesure,""certainly,""ofcourse,""Isee,"and"Itoldyouso."

Correspondinglytothis,Mrs.VanArsdel,hernextsister,wasonewhosaidhabitually, "What would you do, and how would you do it?" and so thedomesticduetwascomplete.Mrs.Wouvermandidnotsucceed ingoverningor reclaimingherhusband,but shewasnone the less self-confident for that;andhavingseenhimcomfortablyintohisgrave,shehadnothingtodobutgettogetherthesmallremainsoftheestateanddevoteherselfto"dearEllenandher children."Mrs.Wouvermanmanaged her own house, where everythingwas arrangedwith the strictest attention and economy, and to themaking agenteelappearanceonasmallsum,andyetfoundabundanceoftimetodirectsisterEllenandherchildren.

Shewasagoodnatured,pleasant-manneredwoman,fondofherniecesandnephews; and her perfect faith in herself, the decision of all herannouncements,andthehabitualattitudeofconsultationinwhichthemotherofthefamilystoodtowardsher,ledtheVanArsdelchildrenastheygrewuptoconsider"AuntMaria,"liketheBibleorcivilgovernment,asoneofthegreatready-madefactsofsociety,tobeacceptedwithoutdisputeorinjury.

Mrs. Wouverman had her own idea of the summum bonum, that greatobscure point about which philosophers have groped in vain. Had Plato orAnaxagorasoranyofthoseancientworthiesappealedtoher,shewouldhavesmiledonthembenignantlyandsaid:"Whyyes,ofcourse,don'tyousee?thething is very simple. You must keep the best society and make a goodappearance."

Mrs. Van Arsdel had been steadily guided by her in the paths offashionable progression.Havingmarried into a rich old family,AuntMariawas believed to havemysterious and incommunicable secrets of gentility ather command. She was always supposed to have an early insight into thesecretcounselsofthatsublime,awful,mysterious"they,"whogivethelawinfashionable life. "They don't wear bonnets that way, now!" "My love, theywearglovessewedwithcoloredsilks,now!"or,"theyhavedonewithhoopsandflowingsleeves,"or,"theyarebeginning towearhoopsagain!Theyaregoingtowearlongtrains,"or,"theyhavedonewithsilverpowdernow!"Allwhichannouncementsweremadewithacalmsolemnityofmannercalculatedtoimpresstheyouthfulmindwithasenseoftheirprofoundimportance.

Mr. Van Arsdel followed Aunt Maria's lead with that unquestioningmeeknesswhich issoedifyinga trait inourAmericangentlemen. In factheconsideredthehouseholdandallitsworksandwaysasaninsolublemysterywhich hewaswell pleased to leave to hiswife; and if hiswife chose to beguided by "Maria" he had no objection. So long as his business talentcontinuedyearlytoenlargehismeansofsatisfyingthedesiresandaspirations

ofhisfamily,solonghewascontentquietlyandsilentlytoascendinthescaleofluxuriousliving,tohavehishousemovedfromquartertoquarteruntilhereachedaFifthAvenuepalace,tofillitwithpicturesandstatuary,ofwhichheknewlittleandcaredless.

UnderAuntMaria's directionsMrs.VanArsdel aspired tobe a leader infashionable society.No housewas to be so attractive as her's, no parties sobrilliant,nodaughtersingreaterdemand.Naturehadgenerouslysecondedherdesires.Her daughterswere all giftedwith fine personal points aswell as amorethancommonshareofthatspicygenialoriginalityofmindwhichisasageneralthingratheracharacteristicofyoungAmericangirls.

Mr. Van Arsdel had had his say about the education of his sons anddaughters.Noexpensehadbeenspared.Theyhadbeensent to theverybestschools thatmoney could procure, and had improved their advantages. Theconsequences of education had been as usual to increase the difficulties ofcontrollingthesubject.

ThehorroranddismayofMrs.VanArsdelandofAuntMariacannotbeimaginedwhentheydiscoveredalmostimmediatelyontheintroductionofIdaVanArsdelintosocietythattheyhadontheirhandsanactualspecimenofthestrong minded young woman of the period; a person who looked beyondshows, who did her own thinking, andwho despised or approvedwith fullvigorwithoutconsultingacceptedstandards,andwasresolutelyresolvednottowalk in theways her pastors ormasters had hitherto considered the onlyappointedonesforyoungladiesofgoodcondition.

Toworkembroidery,gotoparties,entertainidlersandwaittobechoseninmarriage, seemed to a girlwho had spent six years in earnest study amostlame and impotent conclusion to all that effort; and when Ida Van Arsdeldeclaredherresolutiontodevoteherselftoprofessionalstudies,AuntMaria'sindignationanddisgustisnottobedescribed.

"Soshockingandindelicate!FormypartIcan'timaginehowanybodycanwanttothinkonsuchsubjects!I'msureitgivesmeaturnjusttolookintoaworkonphysiology,andallthosedreadfulpicturesofwhatisinsideofus!Ithinkthelessweknowaboutsuchsubjectsthebetter;womenweremadetobewivesandmothers,andnot totroubletheirheadsaboutsuchmatters;andtothink of Ida, of all things, whose father is rich enough to keep her like aprincess whether she ever does a thing or not!Why should she go into it?Why,Idaisnotbadlooking.Sheisquitepretty,infact;thereareadozengirlswith not half her advantages that havemade goodmatches, but it's no usetalking to her. That girl is obstinate as the everlasting hills, and her fatherbacksherupinit.Well,wemustlethergo,andtakecareoftheothers.Evaismygod-child,andwemustatanyratesecuresomethingforher."Something,

meantofcourseasplendidestablishment.

Thetimeofmyintroductionintothefamilycirclewasacriticalone.

IntheraceforfashionableleadershipMrs.VanArsdelhadonerivalwhosesuccesseswereasstimulatingandasvexatious toheras thegoodfortuneofMordecaitheJewwastoHamaninOldTestamenttimes.

Allhergoodfortuneandsuccesseswerespoiledbythegoodfortuneandsuccesses of another woman, who was sure to be a little ahead of her ineverythingthatsheattempted;andthiswasthemoretryingasthisindividualbeganlifewithher,andwasasortoffamilyconnection.

IndaysofheryouththerewasonePollySanders,aremotecousinoftheAskotts,whowasreputedabeautybysome.PollywaswhatiscalledinNewEngland "smart." She was one who never lost an opportunity, and, as thevulgar saying is, couldmake every edge cut.Her charmswere far less thanthoseoftheMissesAskott,andshewasinfarmorestraitenedcircumstances;butshewentat theproblemoflife inasortof tooth-and-nailfashion,whichoften is extremely successful. Sheworked first in a factory, till shemade alittle money, with which she put herself to school—acquired showyaccomplishments,andwentup likeaballoon;marriedamanwithmuch thesametalentforgettingalongintheworldasherself;wenttoParisandreturnedatraveled,accomplishedwoman,andthepairsetupforfirstsocietypeopleinNewYork;andtotheinfiniteastonishmentofMrs.Wouverman,weresoonina position to patronize her, and to run a race, neck and neck,with theVanArsdels.

Whatwoman'sChristianprinciplesareadequatetosupportherundersuchtrials?Nothingever impressedAuntMariawith sucha senseof theevilsofworldliness as Polly Elmore's career. She was fond of speaking of herfamiliarlyas"Polly;"andrecallingthetimewhenshewasonlyafactory-girl.AccordingtoAuntMaria,suchgrasping,unscrupulousdevotiontothingsseenandtemporal,hadneverbeenknowninanybodyasinthecaseofPolly.AuntMaria,ofcourse,didnotconsiderherselfasworldly.Nobodyeverdoes.Youdo not, I presume, my dear madam. When your minister preaches aboutworldly people, your mind immediately reverts to the Joneses and theSimpsons round the corner, and you ratherwonder how they take it. In thesamemanner AuntMaria's eyes were always being rolled up, and she wasalwaysinashockedstateatsomethingthesedreadful,worldly,dressyElmoresweredoing.Butstill theywentonfromconqueringtoconquer.Mrs.Elmorewas a dashing leader of fashion—spoke French like a book—was crediblyreported tohave skatedwith theEmperor at theBoisdeBoulogne—and, inshort,therewasnosayingwhatfeathersshedidn'twearinhercap.

TheVanArsdelsnosoonerdidathingthantheElmoresdidmore.TheVan

ArsdelshadahouseinFifthAvenue;theElmoressetupaFrenchchateauonthe Park. The Van Arsdels piqued themselves on recherché society. TheElmores made it a point to court all the literati and distinguished people.Hence,risingyoungmenwereofgreatvalueasornamentstothesalonsoftherespectivehouses—iftheyhadbroughtwiththemanameintheliteraryworld,somuch themore was their value—it was important to attach them to oursalon,lesttheyshouldgotoswellthetriumphsoftheenemy.

The crowning, culminating triumphof theElmoreswas the engagement,justdeclared,ofMaria,theeldestdaughter,toyoungRivington,ofRivingtonManor, concerning which Aunt Maria and Mrs. Van Arsdel were greatlymoved.

Theengagementwasdeclared,andbrilliantweddingpreparationsonfootthat should eclipse all formerNewYork grandeurs; andwhat luminarywasthereintheVanArsdelhorizontodrawattentiontothatquarter?

"Positively, Ellen," said AuntMaria, "the engagement between Eva andWatSydneymustcomeout. Itprovokesme tosee theabsurdand indelicateairs the Elmores gives themselves about this Rivingtonmatch. It's really inshockingtaste.I'msureIdon'tenvythemSamRivington.Thereareshockingstoriestoldabouthim.Theysayheisaperfectroué—hasbeentakenhomebythe police night after night. How Polly, with all her worldliness, canmakesuch an utter sacrifice of her daughter is what I can't see. Now Sydneyeverybody knows is a strictly correct man. Ellen, this thing ought to comeout."

"But, dearme,Maria, Eva is such a strange child. Shewon't admit thatthereisanyengagement."

"Shemustadmitit,Ellen—ofcourseshemust.It'sIdathatputsheruptoall her strange ideas, and will end bymaking her as odd as she is herself.There's that new young man, that Henderson—why don't we turn him toaccount?Idahastakenafancytohim,Ihear,andit'sexactlythething.OnlygetIda'sthoughtsrunningthatwayandshe'll letEvaalone,andstopputtingnotionsintoherhead.Hendersonisagentleman,andwouldbeaverypropermatchforIda.Heisliterary,andsheisliterary.Heisforallthemodernideas,andsoisshe.I'msure,Igowithallmyheartforencouraginghim.It'sexactlythething."

AndAuntMaria

"Shookherambrosialcurlsandgavethenod,"

withamagnificenceequaltoJupiterintheoldHomericdays.

CHAPTERXXI.

IDISCOVERTHEBEAUTIESOFFRIENDSHIP.

Much has been written lately concerning the doctrine of friendshipbetweenmen andwomen. It is thought and said by some that there lies anunexplored territory in our American life, and we have the example ofMadameRécamiersetbeforeustoshowhowperfectlyintimateanddevotedawholecircleofmanlyfriendsmaybewithonefairwoman,withoutdetrimentor disadvantage to their domestic ties or hers. The adorable Juliet is theintimatefriendatonceofMatthewMontmorenci,thesaint,ofChateaubriand,thepoet,andofanindefinitenumberofartistsandmenofletters,allofwhomaddress her in language of adoration and devotion, and receive from heraffectionatemessages in return. Chateaubriand spends every afternoonwithJuliet, and every evening with his invalid wife, like a devoted and dutifulhusband,andthisstateofthingsgoesonfromyeartoyearwithouttroubleandwithoutscandal.

It was with some such sublimated precedent in my head that I allowedmyselftoyieldtothecharmingtemptationopenedtomebymyacquaintancewith Eva Van Arsdel. Supposing by Jim's account that she was alreadyengaged,lookingonmyselfasyetfarofffromtheplacewhereIcouldthinkofmarriage,whatwastheretohindermyenjoyinghersociety?Ofcourse,therewas no possible danger to myself, and it would be absolute coxcombry tothink that therewouldbeany toher.She,whohadbeenaqueenof fashion,andwhohadtheworldunderherfeet,ifshedeignedtothinkkindlyofapoorlittérateur, it could surely lead to nothing dangerous. I might have beenwarned,ifIwerewise,bythefactthatthenightaftermyfirstpresentationIlayawakeandthoughtoverallshehadsaid,andcountedthedaysthatshouldintervenebeforenextWednesdayevening.IwouldnotfortheworldhavehadJimFellowsdivinewhatwasgoingonwithinme;infactItookasmuchpainstocajoleandpacifyandtakemyselfinasifIhadbeenathirdparty.

Iwokeaboutsixo'clockinthedimgreyofthenextmorning,fromadreaminwhich Eva and Iwere talking together,when she seemed so vivid that Istartedupalmost feeling that I sawher face in theair.Suddenly Iheard thebellofaneighboringchurchstrikethehour,andthoughtofwhatshehadsaidtheeveningbeforeaboutattendingmorningservices.

Whatwas tohindermygoing to thechurchandseeingheragain?Therewas a brisk morning walk, that was a good thing, and certainly morningdevotionwassomethingsoaltogetherrightandreasonablethatIwonderedIneverhadthoughtofitbefore.IdressedmyselfandturnedoutintothestreetstoseekthelittlechurchoftheHolySepulcherwherethenewRectorofwhom

EvahadspokenheldearlyLentenservices.

Therewas somethingquaint and rather exciting tomy imagination tobeoneofasmallbandwhosoughtthechurchatthisearlyhour.Thesunlightoftherisingdaystreamedthroughthepaintedwindowandtouchedwithasortofglorythewhitedressofthepriest;theorganplayedsoftlyinsubduedmelody,and the words of themorning service had a sort of touching lovely sound."Wheretwoorthreearegatheredtogetherinmyname,thereamIinthemidstof them"seemed tocome tomy thoughtswithnewforceas I lookedon thesmallnumber,twoorthreeinapew,whowerescatteredupanddownthroughthechurch.Shewasthereinaseatnotfarfromme,shroudedinasimpleblackdressandveil,andseemedwhollyandentirelyabsorbedbyherprayer-bookanddevotions.

Asthelittlecompanydispersedatthecloseoftheservices,Istoodinthedoorandjoinedherasshepassedout.

"Goodmorning,MissVanArsdel,"Isaid.

Shestartedandlookedsurprised,andabrightcolorflushedinhercheeks.

"Mr.Henderson!youquiteastonishme."

"Whyso?"

"Therearesoveryfewwhogetoutatthishour;andyou,Ibelieve,arenotofthechurch."

"Idon'tknowwhatyoumeanbythechurch,exactly,"saidI.

"Oh," said she, looking at me with a conscious smile, "I know whateverybodymeans that says the church—it generallymeans our church—theone that is the church for us; but you, I think, belong to the Bethany," sheadded.

"Ido,"saidI,"but Ihave largesympathies forallothers,particularly foryours,whichseems tome insomepointsmoreworthily to representwhatachurchshouldbe,thananyother."

Shelookedpleased,andsaidwithwarmth,"Mr.Henderson,youmustnotjudgeourchurchbysuchveryimperfectspecimensasyouseeamongus.Weareveryunworthychildrenofanoblemother;ourchurchhaseverythinginittocallustothehighestandbestlife,onlywefallfarbelowherteaching."

"I think I can see," I said, "that if the scheme of living set forth by theEpiscopalChurchwerecarriedoutwithwarmthanddevotion,itwouldmakeanidealsortofsociety."

"Itwouldbeareallyconsecratedlife,"shesaid,withwarmth."Ifallwouldagree to unite in dailymorning and evening prayers for instance," she said,

"how beautiful it would be." "I never enjoy readingmy Bible alone inmyroomasIdotohaveitreadtomehereinchurch;somehowtomethereisasacred charm about it when I hear it read there, and then to have friends,neighbors and familiesmeet and pray together as one, every day,would bebeautiful. I often think I should like to live close by one of those beautifulEnglishcathedralswheretheyhavechoralserviceseveryday,andIwouldgomorning and evening, but here, in this dreadful, flashy, busy, bustlingNewYork, there is no such thing, I suppose, as getting any number of people toagreetodailyworship."

"Inthatrespect,"saidI,"wemodernChristiansseemtobelessdevoutthantheancientheathenor theMohammedans;yourecollectHujuBubasumsupthe difference between the Englishman and the Persian by saying, 'WePersiansprayseventimesaday,andthey,never.'"

"I like to come to church," she said, "it seems a shelter and a refuge.Nowadaystherearesomanythingssaidthatonedoesn'tknowwhattothinkof;somany thingsdisputed thatonehasalwayssupposed tobe true;suchaperfectlyfatiguingrushofideasandassertionsandnewwaysthatformypartIamgladtofallbackuponsomethingoldandestablished,thatIfeelsureisn'tgoingtomeltawayintomistbeforeto-morrow."

"Icanwellappreciatethatfeeling,"Isaid,"forIhaveitmyself."

"Do you? Oh, Mr. Henderson, you don't know how it perplexes one.There's sister Ida, now! she has a circle of friends—the very nicest sort ofpeopletheyseemtobe!—but,dearme!whenIamwiththemalittlewhile,Igetperfectlybewildered.Notwoofthemseemtobelievealikeonanysubject;andifyouquotetheBibletothem,theyjustopentheireyesandlookamazedat you, as if that was something quite behind the age; and as there is nostandardwiththem,ofcoursethereisnothingsettled.Youfeelasif lifewasbuiltonwater,andeverythingwasrockingandtiltingtillyouarequitedizzy.Now,IknowIamapoorsortofaspecimenofaChristian;butIcouldn'tliveso!Iflybackfromthissortofthing,likeafrightenedbird,andtakerefugeinthechurch—thereissomethingfixed,positive,anddefinite,thathasstoodthetestoftime;itisnobleanddignified,andIabidebythat."

"Thereisallthataboutit,"saidI;"andsoverymuchthatisattractiveandcharmingintheformsofyourchurch,thatIthinkifyouwouldonlyopenyourarmswide, andbe liberal as the spirit of this age, youwould indeedbe thechurchoftheworld."

"Youthinkwearenotliberal?"shesaid.

"When you call yourselves the church, andmake no account of all thattrue, pure, good souls—true followers of the same Saviour—are doing, it

seemstomeyouarenot."

"Ah,well,Mr. Henderson, perhapswe arewrong there—I cannot say. Iknowtherearemanychurchesandmanydear,goodsoulsinall;itisonlytomethatmineisthechurch;ifthatisanillusion,itisahappyone."

"Now," said I, "what a dreary picture should we have of New YorkChristianity, if we judged it by the few morning worshipers at Lentenservices!"

"Yes,indeed,"shesaid."Iamoftensorryforourrector—heissoearnest,andsofewcare tocome;andyethe toldus inhissermon, lastSunday, thattheseLentenserviceswereanactofunionwithourSaviour'sself-denialsandsufferings."

"Well, Miss Van Arsdel," said I, "I doubt not there are hundreds ofthousands in thiscitywhodo really, inspirit,unitewith theSaviour inself-denials and sufferings, daily,who do not express it in this form. If allwhoreally love the Saviour, and are living in his spirit, shouldmake a point ofearlymorningserviceinLent,Iverilybelievethechurcheswouldbecrowdedtooverflowing."

"Youdoreallythinkso?"

"Ido.Inspiteofallthatappears,Ithinkoursisreally,atheart,areligiousage—itisonlythatwedonotagreeinthesameexternalformsofexpression."

"Buthowbeautiful!oh,howbeautifulitwouldbeifwecould!"shesaid."Oh,itwouldbelovelyifallthegoodandtruecouldseeeachother,andstandsidebyside! I longforvisibleunity—anddoyou think,Mr.Henderson,wecoulduniteinmorebeautifulformsthanours?"

"No;Idonot,"saidI;"forme,foryou,formanylikeus,thesearethetrueforms, and the best; but wemust remember that others have just as sacredassociations, and are as dearly attached to othermodes ofworship aswe tothese."

"Thenyoureallydopreferthemyourself?"

"Well,MissVanArsdel,Iunitewiththechurchofmyfatherandmother,because Iwasbroughtup in it; yet if Iwere to choose another, itwouldbeyours."

Shelookedpleased,andIadded:"Itseemstomeoneofthemostbeautifulthingsaboutitisadailyservice."

"Yes," she said, "and it is pleasant to have churcheswhere you feel thatworship isdailyoffered,whetherpeopleattendornot.TherewassomethingsacredandbeautifulabouttheChurchofSt.Peter'sinRome—tothinkthatat

everyhourofdayornightworshipwasgoingoninit.Iusedtoliketothinkofit when I awoke nights—that they were praying and adoring there—in thiscold,drearyworld;itseemsasifitwaslikeaFather'shouse,alwayslight,andwarm,andopen."

"There isabeautyanduse inall these formsand images," I said; "and Ithinkifwearewise,wemaytakecomfortinthemall,withoutbeingenslavedbyany."

Hereourinterviewclosed,aswithagracefulsalutationsheleftmeatthedoorofherhouse.

Thesmileshegavemewassobrightandheart-warm,thatitlightenedallmy work through the day; a subtle sense of a new and charmingcompanionshipbegantosheditselfthroughallmylabors,and,unconsciouslyand unwatched, commenced that process of double thought which madeeverything I read or wrote suggest something I wanted to say to her. Thereaderwillnot, therefore,wonder that Iprovedmysenseof thebeautyof adailymorningservicebygoingwithgreatregularityafterthis,andasregularlywalkinghomewithmyenchantingcompanion.

IwasinnocentlysurprisedtofindhowinterestingthemorningsceneryinprosaicoldNewYorkhadbecome.ItwasApril,andthebudsintheParkwereswelling, and the green grass springing in the cracks of the pavement, andlittle sparrows twitteredandnestled in the ivy thatembowered thechurch—andallthesethingshadastrange,newcharmforme.Itoldmyself,everyday,that Iwasnot in lovewithEvaVanArsdel,orgoing tobe; I tookmyself towitness that all our conversationwas on themost correct and dispassionatesubjects,andnotintheslightestdegreeincliningtoanyvanityofthatnature.Sincethen,IhavelearnedthatEvawasthekindofwomanwithwhomitmadenodifferencewhatthesubjectmatterofconversationwas.Itmightbereligion,or politics, or conic sections, but the animus of it was sure to be the samething.Itwashervitalmagnetismthatgavetheinterest.Itwas,infact,hardlyanymatterwhatwetalkedabout,orwhetherwetalkedatall,itwasthecharmofbeing together thatmadethesemorninginterviewssodelightful; thoughIbelieve we discussed nearly everything under the sun, with the mostastonishingunanimityofsentiment.

IwasverycarefultokeeptheknowledgeofmyincreasingintimacyfromJim Fellows. Early rising was not his forte, and I, very improperly,congratulatedmyselfonthefewnessoftheworshipersatearlyservice.Byandby, Igrewsoconscious that Igotawayof stealingoutatanoppositedoor,appearing towalkoff anotherway, and joiningEva at the next corner—lesthaplymy invariable constancy should attract attention.Shenoticed all thesethingswithadroll,amused, little,half-conscious look.TruedaughterofEve

asshewas,shehadprobablyseenmanyashyfishbefore,swimmingaroundhergoldennetasartlesslyasIwasdoing.

Isoonbecameherobedientslaveandservant,interpretingallhermotionsandintimationswithhumbleassiduity.OfcourseIpresentedmyselfdulywithJim in theWednesday evening receptions, where, as the rooms were filledwith other company,we already began to practice an involuntary hypocrisy,keepingupourfriendlyintimacybythatkindofintuitiveandundemonstrativecommunicationnaturaltothosewhoknoweachotherbysympathy,andlearntounderstandeachotherwithoutwords.

IwasagreatdealinIda'sstudio,probablymuchtothesatisfactionofAuntMariaandMrs.VanArsdel—whileEvaglancedandtwinkledinandoutlikeafire-fly in a meadow, taking my heart with her as she came and went, yetawingmewithadutifulreticence,lest"peopleshouldtalk."

Ida was one of those calm, quiet, essentially self-poised women, withwhomitwouldbequitepossibleforamantohaveaveryintimatefriendship,without its toning off into anything warm, either on her part or on his.Everythingwithherwassopositiveanddefinite,thattherewasnopossibilityofgoingoverthelimits.Ithinkthatshereallyhadaverywarmesteemforme;butshelookedatmeandjudgedmesolelyinrelationtoEva,andwithaquietpersistencyfavoredtheintimacythatshesawgrowingbetweenus.Herplansoflifewerelaidfarahead;shewasweddedtoapurposewhichshewouldnothaverenouncedforanymanonearth;butEvawastheveryappleofhereye,and I think she had her own plans as to the settling of her life's destiny; inshort,IdawasfromthestartthebestfriendIcouldhave.

CHAPTERXXII.

IAMINTRODUCEDTOTHEILLUMINATI.

Ayoungmanwhocommenceslifeasareformer,andaleaderinthepartyofprogress,whilesayingthebestandmostreasonablethingsintheworld,andadvocatingwhatappeartohimthemostneededreforms,oftenfindshimself,in consequence, in the condition of onewhohas pulled the string of a verylarge shower-bath. He wanted cold water, and he gets a deal more than hebargainedfor;infact,oftencatcheshisbreath,andwonderswhenthissortofthingisgoingtostop.Myarticlesonthe"ModernWoman,"intheMilkyWay,had broughtme into notice in certain enthusiastic circles, and I soon foundmyselfdelugedwithletters,appeals,pamphlets,newspapers,allcallingforthemosturgentandimmediateattention,andallchargingmeonmyallegianceto

"the cause," immediately, andwithout loss of time, towrite articles for saidpapers gratuitously, to circulate said pamphlets, to give favorable notices ofsaid books, and instantly to find lucrative situations for hosts of distressedwomen who were tired of the humdrum treadmill of home-life, and whowishedtohavesituationsprovidedwheretherewasnodrudgeryandnolabor,butveryliberalcompensation.Thewholelargearmyoftheincapables,—theblind, thehalt, the lame, theweary, and the forlorn,—all seemed inclined tochoosemeas theircaptain,and to trainundermybanner.BecauseIhadgotintoasubordinatepositionontheGreatDemocracy,theyseemedtoconsiderthat itwasmyimmediatebusiness tomake theGreatDemocracyserve theirwants,ortoperishintheattempt.

My friend, Ida Van Arsdel, was a serious, large-minded, large-brainedwoman,whohadlaidadeepandcomprehensiveplanoflife,andwasadheringtoitwithapatientandsilentperseverance.Stillshehadnosympathyinthatclassofsocietywhereherlotwascast.HermotherandherAuntMariawerewomenwholivedandbreathedmerelyintheopinionsoftheirsetandcircle,andwereasincapableofconsideringanyhigheridealoflife,oranyunworldlypurpose,astwocanary-birds.Mr.VanArsdel,aquiet,silentman,possessedaveinofgoodsensewhichledhimtoappreciatehiseldestdaughteratherrealworth; and he was not insensible to the pleasure of having one femininecompanionwho,ashephrased it, "understoodbusiness,"andwithwhomhecould talk and advise understandingly. But even he had no sympathy withthose largerviewsof thewantsandneedsofwomanhood, inviewofwhichIdawasacting.ItfollowedverynaturallythatasIdagotnosympathyinherowncircle,shewasledtoseekitinthewideningsphereofmodernreformers—a circle in which so much that is fine and excellent and practical, isinevitablymixedwithagreatdealthatiscrudeandexcessive.

AtherrequestIaccompaniedherandEvaoneeveningtoasortofNew-Dispensation salon, which was held weekly at the house of Mrs. StellaCerulean.Mrs. Stella Ceruleanwas a brilliantwoman—beautiful in person,fullofgenius,fullofenthusiasm,fullofself-confidence,themostcharmingoftalkers, and themost fascinating of women. Her career from early life hadbeenoneof thosedazzling successeswhichalways fall to the lotofbeauty,seconded by a certain amount of tact and genius. Of both these gifts Mrs.Ceruleanhad just enough tobewilder theheadof anygentlemanwhomadeheracquaintance.ShehadinhergirlhoodmadethetourofEurope,shoneasastarinthecourtsofFranceandRussia,andmightbeexcusedforamorethanordinary shareof complacency inher successes. In commonwithhandsomewomen generally, she had, during the greater part of her life, never heardanything but flattery from gentlemen, and it always agreed with herremarkably well. But Mrs. Cerulean was one of those women, with justintellectandgeniusenoughtorenderherimpatientofthemerecommon-place

triumphsofbeauty.Shefelt the intoxicatingpowerof thepersonal influencewhichshepossessed,andaspiredtoreignintheregionofthemindaswellasto charm the senses. She felt herself called to the modern work of societyregeneration,andwentintoitwithalltheenthusiasmofhernature,andwithall that certainty of success which comes from an utter want of practicalexperience. Problems which old statesmen contemplated with perplexity,whichhadbeenthedespairofages,shetookupwithacheerfulalacrity.

Shehadonesimpleremedyforthereconstructionofsocietyaboutwhoseimmediateapplication she sawnot the slightestdifficulty. Itwas simplyandonly tobedonebygiving theaffairsof theworld into thehandsofwomen,forthwith.Thosewhoonlyclaimequalityforwomenwere,inMrs.Cerulean'sview,farbehindtheage.Womanwasthesuperiorsex,thedivinesex.Hadnoteverygentlemanofheracquaintance,sinceshecouldremember,toldherthiswith regard to herself? Had they not always told her that she could knoweverythingwithoutstudy,simplybythedivineintuitionsofwomanhood;thatshecouldflash toconclusionswithoutreasoning,simplybythebrilliancyofher eyes; that her purity was incorruptible in its very nature; that all herimpulseswere heavenly andGod-given?Naturally enough, then, it was herdeductionthatallthatwaswantingtohealthewoesandwantsofsocietywasthatsheandothersuchinspiredbeingsshouldimmediatelytaketothemselvestheirpower,andreign.

SuchisageneralsketchofMrs.Cerulean'sviewofthepropermethodofintroducing the millennium. Meanwhile, she did her part in it by holdingsalons once aweek, inwhich people entertaining similar viewsmet for thepurpose, apparently, of a general generation of gas, without any particularagreement as to the method in which it should be applied. This was thecompany of people to whom Eva rather pathetically alluded in one of herconversations once, as such nice people,whowere so very puzzling to her,because no two of them ever seemed to think alike on any subject; and allagreedinopeningtheireyesverywideinastonishmentifanybodyquotedtheBibletothemasanauthorityinfaithandpractice.

Idawasmuchcourtedandpettedbythiscircle.Andsensible,goodgirlasshewas,shewasnotwhollywithoutpleasureintheadmirationtheyshowedfor her. Then, again, there were, every evening, ventilated in this companyquantitiesofthemostsplendidandheroicideaspossibletohumanbeings.Thewholesetseemedtobeinspiredwiththespiritofmartyrdom,withoutanyveryprecise idea of how to get martyred effectually. It was only agreed thateverything in the present state of society was wrong, andwas to be pulleddownforthwith.Butastowhatwastocomeafterthisdemolition,therewereas many opinions in the circle as there were persons, and all held with awonderfuldegreeof tenacity.Aportionof themwereofopinion that anew

dispensationfreshfromtheheavenlyrealmswasbeinginauguratedbymeansof spiritualistic communications daily and hourly conveyed to privilegedindividuals. It was, however, unfortunate that these communications were,very many of them, in point-blank opposition to each other; so that theintroduction of revelations from the invisible world seemed only likely tomake the confusion worse confounded. Then again, as to all the existingrelationsoflife,therewasthesamecharmingvarietyofopinion.Butonethingseemed to be pretty generally conceded among thewhole circle, that in thegoodtimecoming,nobodywasevertodoanythingthathedidnotwanttodo,orfeelatthemomentjustlikedoing.Thegreatobjectofexistenceapparentlywas toget ridofeverything thatwasdisagreeableandpainful.Thus,quiteapartyof themmaintained that allmarriage relationsought todrop, from themomentthateitherpartyceasedtotakepleasureinthem,withoutanyregardtotheinterestoftheotherpartyorthechildren;becausethefundamentallawofexistencewashappiness—andnothingcouldmakepeoplehappybutlibertytodojustastheyhadamindto.

Imust confess that I foundmy evening atMrs. Cerulean's salon a veryagreeable one; the conversation of thoroughly emancipated people has asparklingvarietytoitwhichisexactlythethingtogiveonealively,pleasantevening. Everybodywas full of enthusiasm, and in the very best of spirits.Andthereappearedtobenothingthatanybodywasafraidtosay.Nobodywasstartledbyanything.Therewasnotaquestion,as itappeared, thathadbeenagitatedsincethecreationoftheworld,thatwasnotstillopentodiscussion.

Aswewerewalkinghomeafterspendinganevening,Idaaskedme:

"Now,Mr.Henderson,whatdoyouthinkofit?"

"Well, Miss Ida," said I, "after all, I'm a believer in the old-fashionedBible."

"What,really,Mr.Henderson?"

"Reallyandsquarely,MissIda.AndnevermoresothanwhenIassociatewithverycleverpeoplewhohavegivenitup.Thereis,tomymind,awantofcommonsenseaboutalltheoriesoflifethatarenotbuiltonthat."

"Well,"said Ida,"Ihave longsincemadeupmymind, formyownpart,thatifthecauseofwomanistobeadvancedinthisworld,itisnotsomuchbymeetingtogetherandtalkingaboutit,asbyeachindividualwomanproposingtoherselfsomegoodworkforthesex,andsettingaboutitpatiently,anddoingitquietly.Thatisrathermyidea;atthesametime,Iliketohearthesepeopletalk,andtheycertainlyareagreatcontrasttothevapidpeoplethatarecalledgoodsociety.Thereisafreshnessandearnestnessofmindaboutsomeofthemthatisreallyveryinteresting;andIgetagreatmanynewideas."

"Formypart,"saidEva,"tobesureIhavebeenasadidler,butifIweregoingtodevotemyselftoanyworkforwomen,itshouldbeinthechurch,andunder the guidance of the church. I am sure there is something we can dothere.Andthen,one'ssureofnotrunningintoallsortsofvagaries."

"Now,"saidIda,"all Iwant is thatwomenshoulddosomething; that thelivesofgirls, from the time they leaveschool till the time theyaremarried,should not be such a perfectwaste as they now are. I do not profess to becertain about anyof these theories that I hear; butone thing Idoknow:wewomen will bear being made a great deal more self-sustaining and self-supportingthanwehavebeen.Wecanbemoreefficientintheworld,andweoughttobe.Ihavechosenmyway,andmeantokeeptoit.Andmyideaisthatawomanwhoreallydoesaccomplishalife-workisjustlikeonethatcutsthefirstpaththroughawood.Shemakesawaywhereotherscanwalk."

"That'syou,Ida,"saidEva;"butIamnotstrongenoughtocutfirstpaths."

Ifeltalittlenervousflutterofherhandonmyarmasshesaidthis.Itwasinthedark,andinvoluntarily,Isuppose,myhandwentuponhers,andbeforeIthoughtofitIfelt thelittlewarmthinginmyownasif ithadbeenayoungbird.Itwasoneofthosethingsthatpeoplesometimesdobeforetheyknowit.ButInoticedthatshedidnotwithdrawherhand,andsoIheldit,queryinginmy own mind whether this little arrangement was one of the privileges offriendship.BeforeIquiteresolvedthisquestionwepartedatthehouse-door.

CHAPTERXXIII.

IRECEIVEAMORALSHOWER-BATH.

Adayor two after, as Iwas sitting inmy room,busywriting, I heard alight footstep on the stairs, and a voice saying, "Oh yes! this is Mr.Henderson'sroom—thankyou,"andthenextmomentajaunty,dashingyoungwoman, with bold blue eyes, and curling brown hair, with a little wickedlooking cap with nodding cock's-feather set askew on her head, camemarching up and seated herself at my writing-table. I gazed in blankamazement.Theapparitionburstoutlaughing,andseizingmefranklybythehand,said—

"Lookhere,Hal!don'tyouknowme?Well,mydearfellow,ifyoudon'tit'stimeyoudid!Ireadyourlast'thingumajig'intheMilkyWay,andcameroundtomakeyouracquaintance."

Igazedindumbamazementwhileshewenton,

"Mydearfellow,Ihavecometoenlightenyou,"—andasshesaidthisshedrewsomewhatneartome,andlaidherarmconfidinglyonmyshoulder,andlooked coaxingly in my face. The look of amazement which I gave, underthesecircumstances,seemedtocausehergreatamusement.

"Ha!ha!"shesaid,"didn'tItell'emso?Youain'thalfoutoftheshellyet.You ain't really hatched. You go for the emancipation of woman; but blessyou,boy,youhaven'ttheleastideawhatitmeans—notabitofit,sonny,haveyounow?Confess!"shesaid,strokingmyshouldercaressingly.

"Really,madam—Iconfess,"Isaid,hesitatingly,"Ihaven'tthehonor"—

"'Yougofor theemancipationofwoman;butblessyou,boy,youhaven'ttheleastideawhatitmeans—notabitofit,sonny,haveyounow?Confess?'shesaid,strokingmyshouldercaressingly."

"Not the honor of my acquaintance, you was going to say; well, that'sexactlywhatyou'regettingnow.IreadyourpieceintheMilkyWay,and,saidI, that boy's in heathendarkness yet, and I'mgoing round to enlightenhim.Youmeanwell,Hal!but this isagreat subject.Youhaven't seen through it.Lordblessyou,child!youain'tawoman,andIam—that'sjustthedifference."

Now, I ask any of my readers, what is a modest young man, in thisnineteenthcentury,—havingbeenbroughtup toadoreand reverencewomanas a goddess—to do, when he finds himself suddenly vis-à-viswith her, insuch embarrassing relations asminewere becoming? I had heard before ofMiss Audacia Dangyereyes, as a somewhat noted character in New Yorkcircles,butdidnotexpecttobebroughtsounceremoniously,andwithouttheleastpreparationofmind,intosuchveryintimaterelationswithher.

"Now,lookhere,bub!"shesaid,"I'mjusta-goingtoprovetoyou,infiveminutes,thatyou'vebeenwritingaboutwhatyoudon'tknowanythingabout.You'vebeenasserting, inyourblindway, therightsofwomanto libertyandequality;therightsofwomen,inshort,todoanythingthatmendo.Well,herecomesawomantoyourroomwhotakesherrights,practically,anddoesjustwhatamanwoulddo.Iclaimmyrighttosmoke,ifIplease,andtodrinkifIplease;andtocomeupintoyourroomandmakeyouacall,andhaveagoodtime with you, if I please, and tell you that I like your looks, as I do.Furthermore, to invite you to come and call onme atmy room.Here'smycard. Youmay call me 'Dacia, if you like—I don't go on ceremony. Comeroundandtakeasmokewithme,thisevening,won'tyou?I'vegotthenicestlittle chamber that everyou saw.What rentdoyoupay foryours?Say,willyoucomeround?"

"Indeed—thankyou,miss—"

"Callme 'Dacia for short. Idon't standonceremony. Just lookonmeas

another fellow.Andnowconfess thatyou'vebeen tiedand fetteredby thosevapid conventionalitieswhich bind downwomen till there is no strength in'em.Youvisit in those false,artificialcircles,wherewomenare slaves,keptlikecanarybirds ingildedcages.Andyouareafraidofyourownprincipleswhenyouseethemcarriedoutinarealfreewoman.Now,I'mawomanthatnotonlydaressay,butIdaredo.Whyhasn'tawomanasmucharighttogoroundandmakeherselfagreeabletomen,astositstillathomeandwaitformen to come andmake themselves agreeable to her? I knowyou don't likethis,Icanseeyoudon't,butit'sonlybecauseyouareaslavetooldprejudices.But I'm going to make you like me in spite of yourself. Come, now, beconsistentwithyourprinciples;allowmemyequalityasawoman,ahumanbeing."

Iwasinsuchastateofblankamazementbythistimeasseemedtodeprivemeofallpowerofself-possession.Atthismomentthedooropened,andJimFellowsappeared.Amost ludicrousgrimacepassedoverhis faceashe sawthepositionandhecutasilentpirouetteintheair,behindher.Sheturnedherhead,andheadvanced.

"Fairestofthesex!(withsomeslightexceptions)—towhathappyaccidentarewetoattributethismeeting?"

"Hallo,Jim!isthisyou?"shereplied.

"Oh, certainly, it'sme," said Jim, seatinghimself familiarly. "How is thebrightest star of womanhood—theNorthern Light; the Aurora Borealis; thefairestofthefair?Blessitslittleheart,hasitgotitsrightsyet?Diditwanttodrinkandsmoke?ComealongwithJim,now,andlet'shaveasocialcocktail."

"Keepyourdistance,sir,"saidshe,givinghimaslightboxonhisear."Iprefertodomyowncourting.Ihavebeentryingtoshowyourfriendherehowlittleheknowsof the trueequalityofwomen,andof thegoodtimecoming,whenweshallhaveourrights,anddojustaswedarnplease,asyoudo.I'llbetnow there aint one of those Van Arsdel girls that would dare to do as I'mdoing.Butwe'reopening theway sir,we're opening theway.The timewillcomewhen allwomenwill be just as free to life, liberty and the pursuit ofhappiness,asmen."

"Goodheavens!"saidI,undermybreath.

"MybelovedAudacia,"saidJim,"allowmetoremarkonelittlething,andthatis,thatmenalsomustbeleftfreetothepursuitofhappiness,andalso,astheScripturesays,newwinemustnotbeputintooldbottles.NowmyfriendHal—begginghispardon—isanoldbottle,andIthinkyouhavealreadyputasmuchnewwine intohimashisconstitutionwillbear.Andasheand Ibothhave got tomake our living by scratching, and tempus fugit, andwe've got

articlestowrite,andthereisalways,sotospeak,thedevilafterusfolksthatwriteforthepress,mayIhumblyrequestthatyouwillwithdrawtheconfusinglightofyourbrighteyesfromusforthepresent,and,inshort,takeyourdivineselfsomewhereelse?"

AsJimspokethesewords,hepassedhisarmroundMissAudacia'swaist,anddrewhertothedooroftheapartment,whichhethrewopen,andhandedherout,bowingwithgreatceremony.

"Stop!"shecried,"Iaintgoingtobeputoutthatway.Ihaven'tdonewhatIcame for. You both of you have got to subscribe for my paper, TheEmancipatedWoman."

"Couldn'tdoit,divinestcharmer,"saidJim,"couldn'tdoit;toopoor;millruns low;nowater;modestmerit not rewarded.Wait tillmy ship comes in,andI'llsubscribeforanythingyoulike."

"Well,now,youdon'tgetridofmethatway.ItellyouIcameintogetasubscription,andIamgoingtostaytillIgetone,"saidMissAudacia."Come,Hal,"shesaid,crossingoncemoretome,andsittingdownbymeandtakingmyhand,"writeyournamethere,there'sagoodfellow."

Iwrotemynameindesperation,whileJimstoodby,laughing.

"Jim,"Isaid,"come,putyoursdownquick,andlet'shaveitover."

"Well,now,"saidshe,"forkoutthestamps—fivedollarseach."

Webothobeyedmechanically.

"Well, well," said she, good naturally, "that'll do for this time, goodmorning,"andshevanishedfromtheapartmentwithajauntytossoftheheadandanodofthecock'sfeathersinherhat.

Jimclosedthedoorsmartlyafterher.

"Mercyuponus!Jim,"saidI,"who,andwhatisthiscreature?"

"Oh,oneoftheharbingersofthenewmillennium,"saidJim."Won'titbejolly when all the girls are like her? But we shall have to keep our doorslockedthen."

"But,"saidI,"isitpossible,Jim,thatthisisarespectablewoman?"

"She'spreciselywhatyousee,"saidJim;"whether that's respectable, isamatterofopinion.There'sawomanthat'sundertaken,ingoodfaith,torunandjostleinallthewaysthatmenrunin.Herprincipleis,thatwhateverayoungfellowinNewYorkcoulddo,she'lldo."

"Goodheavens!"saidI,"whatwouldtheVanArsdelsthinkofus,if theyshouldknowthatshehadbeeninourcompany?"

"It'sluckythattheydon't,andcan't,"saidJim."Butyouseewhatyougetforbelongingtothenewdispensation."

"Boys,what'sallthisfuss?"saidBolton,cominginatthismoment.

"Oh,nothing,onlyDaciaDangyeeyeshasbeenhere,"saidJim,"andpoorHalisreadytofaintawayandsinkthroughthefloor.Heisn'tuptosnuffyet,forallhewritessuchmagnificentarticlesaboutthenineteenthcentury."

"Well," said I, "itwaswomanaswoman that Iwas speakingof, andnotthis kind of creature. If I believed that granting larger liberty and wideropportunities was going to change the women we reverence to things likethese,youwouldneverfindmeadvocatingit."

"Well, my dear Hal," said Bolton, "be comforted; you're not the firstreformerthathashadtocryout, 'Delivermefrommyfriends.'Alwayswhenthewatersof anynoble,generousenthusiasm riseandoverflow theirbanks,theremustcomedownthedrift-wood—thewood,hay,andstubble.Lutherhadmore trouble with the fanatics of his day, who ran his principles into theground,astheysay,thanhehadwiththePopeandtheEmperor,bothtogether.AstothisMissAudacia,sheisoneofthephenomenalcreationsofourtimes;thistime,wheneverykindofpracticalexperimentinlifehasgottobetried,andstandorfallonitsownmerits.Sodon'tbeashamedofhavingspokenthetruth,becausecrazypeopleandfoolscaricatureit.Itistrue,asyouhavesaid,that women ought to be allowed a freer, stronger, and more generouseducationandscopefortheirfaculties.Itistruethattheyought,everywhere,to have equal privilegeswithmen; and because some crack-brainedwomendrawfalseinferencesfromthis,itisnonethelesstrue.Formypart,Ialwayssaidthatonemusthaveastrongconvictionforacause,ifhecouldstandthethings its friends say for it, or read aweekly paper devoted to it. If I couldhavebeenmadeapro-slaveryman,itwouldhavebeenbyreadinganti-slaverypapers, and vice versa. I had to keepmyself on a good diet of pro-slaverypapers,tokeepmyzealup."

"But," said I, anxiously, to Jim, "do you suppose thatwe're going to beexposedtothevisitsofthisyoungwoman?"

"Well,"saidJim,"asyou'vesubscribedforherpaper,perhapsshe'llletusalonetillshehassomeotherpointtocarry."

"Subscribe!"saidI;"Ididitfromcompulsion,togetheroutoftheoffice;Ididn'tthinkthesituationrespectable;andyetIdon'twantherpaper,andIdon'twantmynameonhersubscriptionlist.WhatiftheVanArsdelsshouldfinditout?Peopleareaptenoughtothinkthatourdoctrinesleadtoallsortsofoutréconsequences;andifMrs.Wouverman,theirAuntMaria,shouldoncegetholdof this, and it should get all through the circle in which they move, how

disagreeableitwouldbe."

"Oh, never fear," said Jim; "I guess we can manage to keep our ownsecrets; and as to any of them ever knowing, or seeing, anything about thatpaper,it'soutofthequestion.Blessyou!theywouldn'ttouchitwithapairoftongs!"

CHAPTERXXIV.

AUNTMARIA.

AuntMariacameintotheparlorwhereEvaandAlicewerechattingovertheirembroidery.Aglanceshowedthatshehadbeenoccupiedinthatsensibleand time-honored method of keeping up the social virtues, which is calledmakingcalls.Shewasallplumedandrustlinginflowersandlaces,andhadonhercallingmanners.Shehadevidentlybeensmilingandbowingandinquiringafterpeople'shealth,andsayingprettyandobliging things, till theverysoulwithinherwasquitedriedupandexhausted.Foritmustbeadmittedthattobeobligedtorememberandinquireforeveryuncle,auntandgrandmother,everybaby,andyoungmasterandmissinacircleofone'sthreehundredparticularfriends, is an exercise ofChristian benevolence very fatiguing.AuntMaria,however, alwayswent throughwith itwith exhaustive thoroughness, so thateverybodysaid,Whatakind-hearted,pleasantwoman thatMrs.Wouvermanis.

"Well, there!" she said, throwing herself into an arm-chair, "I've nearlyclearedmylist,thankheaven!IthinkLentisagrandgoodseasontogetthesemattersoffyourmind.YouknowMr.SelwynsaidlastSunday,thatitwasthetimetobringourselvesuptothedisagreeableduties."

"Howmanyhaveyoumade,aunty?"saidEva.

"Justthreedozen,mydear.YouseeIchoseanicedaywhenagoodmanyaresuretobeout.Thatshortensmattersagooddeal.Well,girls,I'vebeentotheElmore's.Yououghttoseewhatastatetheyarein!InallmyexperienceIneversawpeoplesoperfectlytippedover,andbesidethemselveswithdelight.I'msureifIweretheyIwouldn'tshowitquitesoplain."

"I suppose," said Alice, "they are quite benignant and patronizing to usnow."

"Patronizing!Well,IwishyoucouldhaveseenPollElmoreandherairs!YouwouldhavethoughtheraduchessfromtheFaubourgSt.Germain,andnoless!Shewassoverysweetandengaging!Dearme,shepatronizedmewithin

an inchofmy life;and 'Howareyourdeargirls?' shesaid. 'All theworld isexpectingtohearsomenewsofMissEva,shouldwesoonhaveanopportunityofreturningcongratulations?'"

"Oh,pshaw!aunt,"saidEvauneasily,"whatdidyousay?"

"Oh!ItoldherthatEvawasinnohurry,thatshewasveryreticentofherprivateaffairs,anddidnotthinkitingoodtastetoproclaimthem. 'Ah,then,therereallyissomethinginit,'saidshe.Iwastellingmygirlsperhapsafterallit ismere report; people say somany things. 'The thingwas reported aboutMaria,'shesaid,'longbeforetherewasanytruthinit';andthenshewentontotell me howmuchMaria had been admired, and howmany offers she hadrejected, and among other things she said thatMr. Sidney had been at herdisposal,—only she couldn't fancy him. 'You know,' she said with asentimentalair,that'theheartisallinsuchcases.'"

"Howperfectlyabsurdofher,"saidEva.

"Iknow,"saidAliceeagerly,"thatWatSidneydoesn'tlikeMariaElmore.Shewasperfectlywildafterhim,andusedtobehavesothatitreallydisgustedhim."

"Oh,well,"saidEva,"allthesethingsareexcessivelydisagreeabletome;itseemstomewheresuchmattersarehandledandtalkedaboutandbandiedabout, they become like shop-worn goods, utterly disgusting. Who wantseveryfoolandfopandeverygossipwhohasnothingbettertodotalkingoverwhatoughttobethemostprivateanddelicateaffairsofone'sownheart!"

"Well,dear,youcan'thelp it in society.Why,everypersonwhere IhavecalledinquiredaboutyourengagementtoWatSidney.Youseeyoucan'tkeepathingofthissortprivate.Ofcourseyoucan't.Youareintheworld,andtheworldwillhaveyoudoasothersdo.OfcourseIdidn'tannounceit,becauseIhavenoauthority;butthethingisjustasmuchoutasifIhad.TherewasoldMrs.Ellis,dearoldsoul,saidtome,'GivemylovetodearEva,andtellherIhope she'll be happy. I suppose,' she added, 'I may send congratulations,thoughitisn'tannounced.'Oh,saidI,Evadoesn'tliketohavemattersofthissorttalkedabout."

"But aunty," said Eva,who had been coloringwith vexation, "this is allgratuitous—youareallengagingandmarryingmeinspiteofmyscreamsasappears.IamnotengagedtoMr.Sidney,andneverexpecttobe;heisgoneoffon a long Southern tour, and I hope out of sight will be out of mind, andpeoplewillstoptalking."

"ButmydearEva,reallynowyououghtnottotreatanicemanlikehiminthatway."

"Treathiminwhatway?"saidEva.

"Why, keep him along in this undecided manner without giving him adefiniteanswer."

"Hemighthavehadadefiniteansweranytimeinthelastthreemonthsifhehadaskedforit.Itisn'tmybusinesstospeaktillI'mspokento."

"You don't mean, Eva, that he has gone off without saying anythingdefinite—bringingmatterstoapoint."

"Idomeanjustthat,Aunty,andwhat'smoreI'mgladhe'sgone,andIhopebeforehecomesbackhe'llseesomebodythathelikesbetter,andthenit'llbealloff;and,Aunty,ifanyonespeakstoyouaboutityou'llobligemebysayingdecidedlythereisnothinginit."

"Well, I shan't say there never has been anything in it. I shall say yourefusedhim."

"Andwhyso?Iamnotanxioustohavethecreditofit,andbesidesIthinkitisindelicatewhenamanhaspaidaladythehighestpossiblecomplimenthecanpay,tomakeapublicparadeofit.Itssufficienttosaythereisnothinginitandneverwillbe;itsnobody'sbusinesshowithappened."

"Oh, come Eva, don't say there never will be anything in it. That is asubjectonwhichgirlsarelicensedtochangetheirminds."

"Formypart,"saidAlice,"IonlywishitwereI.I'dhavehiminaminute.Aunty,didyouseethatnobbyphætonhewasdrivingthelastdayhewasonthepark; thosehorses, and thatwhite fur lap-robe,with the longpluffyhairlikesilver?Imustsay,Eva,Ithinkyouarealittlegoose."

"I've no objection to the park phæton, or horses or lap-robe; but it isn'tthoseI'mtomarry,yousee."

"ButEva,"saidAuntMaria,"ifyouwouldn't fancysuchamatchasWatSidney,whowouldyou?heisamanofcorrectandtemperatehabits,andthat'smorethanyoucansayofhalfthemen."

"But a woman doesn't necessarily want to make her most intimate andpersonalfriendofamanmerelybecausehedoesn'tdrink,"saidEva.

"Buthe'sgoodlooking."

"Sotheysay,butnottome,notmystyle.Inshort,aunty,Idon'tlovehim,andnevershould;andifIweretiedtooclosetohimmightendbyhatinghim.Asitis,heandIarethebestfriendspossible.Ihopewealwaysshallstayso."

"Well,IshouldliketoknowwhoeverwillsuityouEva,"saidAuntMaria.

"Oh,hewillcomealong,Aunty,neverfear!IshallknowhimwhenIsee

him,andIdaresayeverybodywillwonderwhat in theworldpossessedme,butIshallbecontent.IknowexactlywhatIwant,I'mliketheoldpartyintheAncientMariner. I shallknowwhen I seehim 'theman thatmusthaveme,'andthenIshall'holdhimwithmyglitteringeye.'"

"Well,Eva,youmustrememberonething.Therearenotmanymenabletokeepyouinthewayyoualwayshavelived."

"Then,whentherightonecomesIshallliveasheisabletokeepme."

"Gotohousekeepinginthreerooms,perhaps.Youlooklikeit."

"Yes;anddomyowncooking.I'mratherfondofcooking;Ihavedecidedgenius thatway too.Ask Janedown in thekitchen if I don'tmake splendidfritters.Thefactis,Aunty,IhavesomuchsuperfluousactivityandenergythatI should be quite thrown away on a richman. A poor country rector, verydevout,withdarkeyeslikeLongfellow'sKavanahisrathermyideal.Iwouldget up his surplices myself, and make him such lovely frontals and altarcloths!Whydoesn'tsomebodyofthatsortcomeafterme?I'mquiteimpatienttohaveasphereandshowwhatIcando."

"Well," saidAlice, "youdon't catchmemarryingapoorman.Not I.Nohomemissionaries,norpoor rectors, nordistressedartistsneedapplyat thisoffice."

"Now,girls,"saidAuntMaria,"letmetellyouit'sallveryprettyatyourturnof life todreamabout loveinacottageandall that,butwhenyouhaveseenalloflifethatIhave,youwillknowtheworthofthesolid;whenonehasbeenusedtoacertainwayofliving,forexample,onecan'tchange;andifyoumarriedtheangelGabrielwithoutmoney,youwouldsoonrepentit."

"Well,"saidEva,"I'driskitifGabrielwouldhaveme,andI'deventryitwithsomemanalittlelowerthantheangels;soprepareyourmindtoendureit,Aunty,foroneofthesedayseverybodywillbeholdinguptheirhandsandsaying, What, Eva Van Arsdel engaged to him! Why, what could havepossessedher?That's just thewayIheardLottieSimmons talking lastweekaboutBelleSt.John'sengagement.SheisgoingtomarryacollegeprofessorinNewHavenononeofthoseveryhomœopathicdosesofsalarythatpeoplegivetoreallyfinementhathavetalentandeducation,andshe'sjustashappyasshecanbeaboutit,andthegirlsareallscrapingtheirthroats, 'oh-ingandah-ing'andwonderingwhatcouldhave ledher to it.Noengagement ring toshow! private wedding! and just going off together up to his mother's inVermontinsteadofmakingthebridaltourofall thewateringplaces!Itmustbe so charming, you see, to be exhibited as a newbride, alongwith all theother new brides at Trenton and Niagara and theWhiteMountains, so thateverybodymayhaveachancetocompareyourfinerywitheverybodyelse's,

also to see how you conduct yourself in new circumstances. Formy part Ishallbeverygladifmypoorrectorcan'taffordit."

"Bytheby,speakingofthatgirl,"saidAuntMaria,"whatareyougoingtoweartothewedding.It'squite timeyouwereattendingtothat.IcalledinatTullegig's, and of course shewas all in awhirl, but I put in for you. 'Now,Madame,' said I, 'youmust leave a place inyourmind formygirls,' andofcourseshewentonwithherusualFrenchrodomontade,butIassureyouyou'llhaveto lookafterher.Tullegighasnoconscience,andwillputyouoffwithanythingshecanmakeyoutake,unlessyougiveyourmindto itandfollowherup."

"Well, I'm sure, aunty, I don't feel equal to getting a new dress out ofTullegig,"saidEva,withasigh,"andIhavedressesenough,anyoneofwhichwilldo.Iamblaséewithdresses,andI thinkweddingsareadrug.If there'sanything that I think downright vulgar and disagreeable it's this style ofblaring,flaring,noisy,crowdeddisagreeablemodernweddings.Itisacrushoffinery; a smash of china; a confusion of voices; and everybody has theheadache after it; it's a perfect infliction to think of being obliged to go toanother.FormypartIbelieveIamgoingtoleaveallthosecarestoAlice;sheiscomeoutnow,andIamonlyQueenDowager."

"Ohpshaw,Eva,don'ttalkso,"saidAuntMaria,"andnowIthinkofityoudon'tlookwell,yououghttotakeatonicintheSpring.Letmesee,CalisayaBarkandironisjustthething.I'llsendyouinabottlefulfromJenningsasIgohome,andyoumusttakeatablespoonfulthreetimesadayaftereating,andbeveryparticularnottofatigueyourself."

"Ithink,"saidAlice,"thatEvagetstiredgoingtoallthoseearlyservices."

"Oh my dear child, yes; how can you think of such a thing? It's veryinconsiderateinMr.Selwyn,Ithink,tohavesomanyserviceswhenhemustknowmanyweddingsandthingsarecomingoffjustafterEaster.Peoplewillbe all fagged out, just as Eva is. Now I believe in the church as much asanybody, but in our day I think there is danger in running religion toextremes."

"Ah!"saidEva,"Isupposethereisnodangerofonerunningtoextremesinanythingbutreligion—indressorpartiesforinstance?"

"Butyouknowonehasthesethingstoattendto,mydear;onemustkeepupa certain style; andof course, there is apropermedium that I hold to asmuchasanybody.NobodyismoreparticularaboutreligioninitsplacethanIam.IkeepSundaystrictly;veryfewpeoplemoreso.IneverrideintheparkSundays,norwritealetter,thoughIhaveseenpeoplewhocalledthemselvesreligiousthatwould.No.IbelieveingivingfullobservancetotheLord'sday,

butthenIthinkoneoughttohavetheweekclearforaction.Thatbelongstous,asIviewit,andouroldrectorwasveryeasywithusaboutalltheSaint'sdays,andweek-dayservices,andthingsintheprayer-book.TobesurethereareAshWednesdayandGoodFriday.One,ofcourse,shouldattendtothese,that is nomore than is proper, but thewayMr. Selwyn goes on!why, onewouldn'tbeabletothinkofmuchelsethanreligionifhehadhisway."

"Whatadreadfulstateofsocietythatwouldbringon!"saidEva.

"But come, Aunty," said Alice, "don't talk theology, tell us whatdiscoveriesyoumadeattheElmore's.Iknowtheyshowedyoueverything."

"Oh,ofcoursetheydid.Well there's theweddingveil,cost twothousanddollars;formypartIthoughtitlookedordinaryafterall;it'ssothickandstiffwithembroidery,yousee,nolightnesstoit."

"Iwouldn't takeitasagift,"saidEva."I thinksuchexpensivethingsaresimplyvulgar."

"Goon,Aunty,"saidAlice,"whatnext?"

"Well, then the dress has a new style of trimming, and really is veryelegant.Imustdoitthejusticetosaythatit'ssomethingquiterecherché.Andthentheytookmeupstairstoseethetrousseau,andtherewasaperfectbazar!allher things laidoutbydozensand tiedupwithpinkribbons,—youwouldhave thought it got for the Empress. Those Elmores are the most worldlyfamilyIeverdidhearof;allfordashandshow!Theyseemedtobeperfectlytransported with these things,—and that reminds me, Eva, I noticed lastSundayatchurchyournewpoplinsuitwasmadewithquillings;nowtheyarenotgoingtowearquillingsanymore.InoticednoneofthoseParisdresseshadit.YoushouldhaveJacobsalteryoursatonce,andsubstitutefringes;fringesisthestylenow."

"And,Aunty,whatdoyousupposewouldhappentomeif IshouldwearquillingswhenTheydon't?"saidEva.

"Well, of course, you don't want to be odd, child. There is a certainproprietyinallthesethings.IwillspeaktoJacobsaboutit,andsendhimuphere.ShallI?"

"Well,Aunty,anything tosuityou.Youmaytakeoffquillings,orputonfringe, ifyouwon't insistonmarryingme toanybody,"saidEva;"onlyIdowishanyonefashionwouldlastlongenoughtogiveonetimetobreatheandturn roundbefore it has to be altered, but theBible says the fashion of thisworldpassethquicklyaway,andsoIsupposeonemustputupwithit."

"Eva, do you correspond with Mr. Sydney?" said Aunt Maria, after amoment'sreflection.

"Correspond?No,tobesureIdon't.WhatshouldIdothatfor?"

"Hewritestomamma,though,"saidAlice,laughing.

"It's his own affair, if he does," saidEva. "I told him, before hewent, Inevercorrespondedwithgentlemen.Ibelievethatisthecorrectthingtosay.Inever mean to, either, unless it's with one whose letters are particularlyinterestingtome."

"HowdoyoulikethatyoungHenderson?"

"What,Ida'sadmirer?"saidEva,coloring."Oh,wethinkhimniceenough.Don'tweAlice?—ratherjolly,infact."

"AnddoesIdacontinuegracious?"

"Certainly.Theyarethebestoffriends,"saidEva."Thefactis,heisquiteafinefellow;andhereadsthingstoIda,andsheadviseshimabouthisstyle,youknow."

"HeandJimFellowsalwayscometogether,"saidAlice;"andIthinktheyare both nice—in fact, rather better than the average. He isn't quite such arattle-capasJim,butonetrustshimmore."

"Well," said Eva, "I don't like a professed joker.Aman that never is inearnestought towear thecapandbells, as thecourt foolsused todo inoldtimes."

"O,blessyou,child,"saidAlice,"that'swhatJimisfor;healwaysmakesmelaugh,andIliketolaugh."

"Don'tyou think thatMr.HendersonwoulddonicelyforIda,"saidAuntMaria.

"Oh,astothat,"saidAlice,"neitherhenorJimFellowsaremarryingmen.You see they haven't anything, and of course that they can't be thinking ofsuchthings."

"But,"saidAuntMaria,"Idaisjustthewifeforapoorman.Shehasaturnfor economy, and doesn't care for dress and show; and could rub and scrubalong,andhelptosupportthefamily.Ireallythinkshelikesworkforthesakeofit. Iwishtomercyshecouldbeengaged,andgetall thesedreadfulqueerplansandnotionsoutofherhead.Iamalwayssopuzzledwhatintheworldtotellpeoplewhentheyaskwhyshedoesn'tvisitandgointosociety."

"Why not tell the truth," said Eva, "that she prefers to help papa in hisbusiness."

"Because,love,that'ssoodd.Peoplecan'tunderstandit."

"Theycan'tunderstand,"saidEva,"thatawomanmaybetiredofleadinga

lazylife,andwanttouseherfaculties.Well,I'msureIcanunderstandit.I'dgivealltheworldtofeelthatIwasofasmuchrealusetoanybodyasIdaistopapa; and I think papa likes it too. Poor, dear old papa,with his lovely oldwhitehead,whojusttoilsandslavesforus.IwishIcouldhelphimtoo."

"Well,dear,Icantellyouhowyoucanhelphim."

"How?"

"MarryWatSydney."

"Nonsense,Aunt,whathasthattodowithpapa?"

"Itwouldhavemoretodothanyouthink,"saidAuntMaria,shakingherhead,mysteriously.

CHAPTERXXV.

ADISCUSSIONOFTHEWOMANQUESTIONFROMALLPOINTS.

TheboldintrusionofMissAudaciaDangereyesintomyapartmenthadlefta most disagreeable impression onmymind. This was not lessened by thereceptionofherpaper,whichcame tohand induecourseofnextmail; andwhich I found to be an exposition of all the wildest principles of modernFrench communism. It consisted of attacks directed about equally againstChristianity,marriage,thefamilystate,andallhumanlawsandstandingorder,whatsoever.ItwasmuchthesamekindofwritingwithwhichthepopulaceofFrance was indoctrinated and leavened in the era preceding the firstrevolution,andwhichintimeborefruitinblood.Inthosedays,asnow,suchdoctrinesweretoyedwithinliterarysalonsandaristocraticcircles,wheretheirnovelty formed an agreeable stimulus in the vapid common-place offashionable life.Theywere then, as now, embracedwith enthusiasmby fairilluminati,whofanciedthattheysawinthemadawnofsomemillennialglory;andwereawakenedfromtheirdream,likeMadameRoland,atthefootoftheguillotine,bowingtheirheadstodeathandcrying,"OLiberty,whatthingsaredoneinthyname!"

TheprincipaldifferencebetweenthewritersontheEmancipatedWoman,andthoseof theFrenchilluminati,wasthat theFrenchprototypesweremenand women of elegance, culture, and education; whereas their Americanimitators, though not wanting in a certain vigor and cleverness, were bothcoarse in expression, narrow in education, and wholly devoid of commondecency in their manner of putting things. It was a paper that a man whoreverenced his mother and sisters could scarcely read alone in his own

apartmentswithoutblushingwithindignationandvexation.

Everyholy secretofhumannature, all those subjectsofwhich thegraceandthepowerconsistsintheirexquisitedelicacyandtenderrefinement,werehere handled with coarse fingers. Society assumed the aspect of a pack ofbreedinganimals,andall its lawsand institutionswere toreturn to themereanimalbasis.

Itwasparticularlyannoying tome that thispaper,withall itscoarsenessandgrossness, set itselfup tobe thehead leaderofWoman'sRights; and togive its harsh clamors as the voice ofwoman.Neitherwas I at all satisfiedwiththemannerinwhichIhadbeendragoonedintotakingit,andthusgivingmy name and money to its circulation. I had actually been bullied into it;because,neverhavingcontemplated thepossibilityofsuchanexistenceasafemale bully, I had marked out in my mind no suitable course of conductadequatetothetreatmentofone."WhatshouldIhavedone?"Isaidtomyself."Whatisamantodoundersuchcircumstances?Shallheengageinapersonalscuffle? Shall he himself vacate his apartment, or shall he call in apoliceman?"

The question assumed importance in my eyes, because it was quitepossiblethat,havingcomeonce,shemightcomeagain;thatthesamecourseof conductmightbeused to enforce anykindof exactionwhich she shouldchoosetolayonme.But,mostofallwasIsensitive,lestbyanymeanssomereportofitmightgettotheVanArsdels.Mytrepidationmaythenbeguessed,onhavingthesubjectatonceproposedtomebyMr.VanArsdelthateveningasIwassittingwithhimandIdainherstudy.

"Iwanttoknow,Mr.Henderson,"hesaid,"ifyouareasubscriberfortheEmancipatedWoman,theneworganoftheWoman'sRightsparty?"

"Now, papa," said Ida, "that is a little unjust! It only professes to be anorganoftheparty,butitisnotrecognizedbyus."

"Haveyouseenthepaper?"saidMr.VanArsdeltome.

LikeatrueYankeeIavoidedthequestionbyaskinganother.

"Haveyousubscribedtoit,Mr.VanArsdel?"

"Well,yes,"saidhelaughing,"IconfessIhave;andaprettymessIhavemadeof it. It isnotapaper thatanydecentmanought tohaveinhishouse.But the woman came herself into my counting-room and, actually, shebadgeredmeintoit;Icouldn'tgetherout.Ididn'tknowwhattodowithher.Ineverhadawomangoonsowithmebefore.Iwasflustered,andgavehermyfive dollars to get rid of her. If she had been a man I'd have knocked herdown."

"Oh,papa,"saidIda,"I'lltellyouwhatyoushouldhavedone;youshouldhavecalledme.She'dhavegotnomoneyandnosubscriptionsoutofme,noryoueitherifI'dbeenthere."

"Now, Mr. Henderson, misery loves company; has she been to yourroom?"saidMr.VanArsdel.

"I confess she has," said I, "and that I have done just what you did—yieldedatonce."

"Mr. Henderson, all this sort of proceeding is thoroughly vexatious anddisagreeable,"saidIda;"andallthemoresothatittendsdirectlytoinjureallwomenwhoaretryingtobeself-supportingandindependent.Itdestroysthatdelicacyandrefinementoffeelingwhichmen,andAmericanmenespecially,cherishtowardwomen,andwillmakethepathsofself-supportterriblyhardtothosewhohave to tread them.There really isnot theslightest reasonwhyawoman shouldcease tobeawomanbecause shechooses tobe independentand pursue a self-supporting career. And claiming a right to dispense withwomanlydecorumsandactlikeamanisjustasridiculousasitwouldbeforaman to claim the right to wear woman's clothes. Even if we supposed thatsocietyweresoalteredastogivetowomaneverylegalandeverysocialrightthat man has; and if all the customs of society should allow her to do theutmostthatshecanforherself,inthewayofself-support,still,womenwillberelativelyweakerthanmen,andtherewillbethesameproprietyintheirbeingtreatedwithconsiderationanddelicacyandgentlenessthattherenowis.Andthe assumptionsof thesehoydens andbullies has a tendency to destroy thatfeelingofchivalryanddelicacyonthepartofmen.It isespeciallyannoyingandgallingtome,becauseIdoproposetomyselfapathdifferentfromthatinwhich young women in my position generally have walked; and suchreasoners as Aunt Maria and all the ladies of her circle will not fail toconfound Miss Audacia's proceedings and opinions, and mine, as allbelongingtothesameclass.Astotheopinionsofthepaper,itismainlybythehalftruthsthatareinitthatitdoesmischief.Iftherewerenotrealevilstobecorrected, and real mistakes in society, this kind of thing would have nopower.Asitis,Ihavenodoubtthatitwillacquireacertainpopularityanddoimmense mischief. I think the elements of mischief and confusion in ourrepublicaregatheringasfastastheydidinFrancebeforetherevolution."

"And," said I, "after all, republics are on trial before the world. Ourexperimentisnotyettwohundredyearsold,andwehaveallsortsofcloudsand storms gathering—the labor question, the foreign immigration question,thewomanquestion, themonopoly andcorporationquestion, all havegraveaspects."

"You see, Mr. Henderson," said Ida, "as to this woman question, the

moderate party to which I belong is just at that disadvantage that peoplealways arewhen there is a party on ahead of themwho hold some of theirprinciples and are carrying them to every ridiculous extreme. They have touphold a truth that is constantly being brought into disrepute and maderidiculousbytheseultraadvocates.Formypart,allIcandoistogoquietlyonwithwhatIknewwasrightbefore.Whatisrightisright,andremainsrightnomatterhowmuchultraistsmaycaricatureit."

"Yes,mydaughter,"saidMr.VanArsdel,"butwhatwouldbecomeofourcountry if all the women could vote, and people like Miss AudaciaDangyereyesshouldstumpthecountryascandidatesforelection?"

"Well,Iamsure,"saidIda,"weshouldhaveverydisagreebletimes,andagreatdealtoshockus."

"Itisnotmerelythat,"saidMr.VanArsdel,"theinfluenceofsuchwomenonyoungmenwouldbedemoralizing."

"WhenI thinkofsuchdangers,"saidIda,"Iam,onthewhole,verywellpleased that there is no immediate prospect of the suffragebeinggranted towomenuntilagenerationwithsuperioreducationandbetterbalancedmindsandbetterhabitsofconsecutivethoughtshallhavegrownupamongus.Ithinkthegiftof theballotwill comeat lastas the resultofa superiorcultureandeducation.AndIaminnohurryforitbefore."

"Whatisallthisthatyouaretalkingabout?"saidEva,whocameintotheroomjustatthismoment."MaandAuntMariaareinsuchastateaboutthatpaperthatPapahasjustbroughthome!Theysaytherearemosthorridthingsinit,Mr.Henderson;andtheysaythatitbelongstothepartywhichyou,andIda,andallyourprogressivepeoplearein."

"It is anexcresenceof theparty," said I; "adiseasedgrowth;andneitherMissIdanorIwillacceptofitasanyexpressionofouropinion,thoughitdoesholdsomethingswhichwebelieve."

"Well," said Eva, "I am curious to see it, just because they don'twant Ishould.Whatcantherebeinitsoverybad?"

"Youmayaswellkeepoutofit,chick,"saidherfather,caressingher."Andnow,I'lltellyou,Ida,justwhatIthink;yougoodwomenarenotfittogoverntheworld,becauseyoudonotknow,andyououghtn'ttoknow,thewickednessthatyouhavegottogovern.Wemenhavetoknowallabouttherogues,andthesharpers,andthepickpockets,andthebullies;wehavetogrowhardandsharp,and 'cutoureye-teeth,'as thesayingis,sothatat lastwecometonothaving much faith in anybody. The rule is, pretty much, not to believeanybodythatyoumeet,andtotakeforgrantedthateverymanthatyouhavedealingswithwillcheatyouifhecan.That'sbadenough,butwhenitcomesto

feelingthateverywomanwillcheatyouifshecan,whenwomencuttheireye-teeth,andget tobesharp,andhard,andtricky,asmenare, thenIsay,Lookoutforyourself,anddelivermefromhavinganythingtodowiththem."

"Why, really!" said Eva, "papa is getting to be quite an orator. I neverheardhimtalksomuchbefore.Papa,whydon'tyougoontotheplatformatthenextWoman'sRightsConvention,andgivethemagoodblast?"

"OhI'llletthemalone,"saidMr.VanArsdel;"Idon'twanttobemixedupwiththem,andIdon'twantmygirlstobe,either.Now,IdonotobjecttowhatIda is doing, and going to do. I think there is real sense in that, althoughMotherandAuntMariafeelsodreadfullyaboutit.Iliketoseeawomanhavepluck,andsetherselftobegoodforsomethingintheworld.AndIdon'tseewhy thereshouldn'tbewomendoctors; it is just the thing thereought tobe.But Idon'tgoforall thishurrahandhullaballoo,andpitchingwomenhead-first into politics, and sending them to legislatures, and making themcandidates for Congress, and for the Presidency, and nobody knows whatelse."

"Well,"saidI,"whynotawomanPresident,aswellasawomanQueenofEngland?"

"Because,"saidhe,"lookatthedifference.ThewomanQueeninEnglandcomestoitquietly;sheisborntoit,andthereisnofussaboutit.ButwhoeverissetuptobePresidentoftheUnitedStatesisjustsetuptohavehischaractertornoff fromhisback in shreds, and tobemauled,pummeled, andcoveredwithdirtbyeveryfilthypaperallover thecountry.Andnowomanthatwasnotwillingtobedraggledthrougheverykennel,andsloppedintoeverydirtypailofwater,likeanoldmop,wouldeverconsenttorunasacandidate.Why,it'sanordealthatkillsaman.ItkilledGen.Harrison,andkilledoldZack.Andwhatsortofabrazen trampofawomanwould itbe thatcouldstand it,andcomeoutofitwithoutbeingkilled?Woulditbeanykindofawomanthatweshouldwanttoseeattheheadofourgovernment?Itellyou,it'squiteanotherthingtobePresidentofademocraticrepublic,fromwhatitistobehereditaryQueen."

"Goodforyou,papa!"saidEva,clappingherhands."Whyhowyougoon!Ineverdidhearsucheloquence.No,Ida,setyourmindatrest,youshan'tberunforPresidentoftheUnitedStates.Youareagreatdealtoogoodforthat."

"Now," saidMr.VanArsdel, "there'syour friend,Mrs.Cerulean, tackledme the other night, andmade a convert ofme, she said. Blessme! she's ahandsome woman, and I like to hear her talk. And if we didn't live in theworldwedo,andthingsweren'tinanyrespectwhattheyare,nothingwouldbe nicer than to let her govern the world. But in the great rough round ofbusinessshe'snothingbutaprettybabyafterall,—nothingelseintheworld.

We let such women convert us, because we like to have them around. Itamusesus,anddon'thurtthem.Butyoucan'tletyourbabyplaywithmatchesand gunpowder, if itwants to ever somuch.Women are famous for settingthings agoing that they don't know anything about. And then, when theexplosioncomes,theydon'tknowwhatdidit,andrunscreamingtothemen."

"As toMrs. Cerulean," said Eva, "I never saw anybody that had such aperfectly happy opinion of herself, as she has. She always thinks that sheunderstandseverythingbyintuition.Ibelieveinmyheartthatshe'dwalkintotheengine-roomofthelargeststeamshipthateverwasnavigated,andturnoutthechiefengineerandtakehisplace,ifhe'dlether.She'dnavigatebywoman'sGod-giveninstincts,asshecallsthem."

"Andsoshe'dkeepontillshe'dblownuptheship,"saidMr.VanArsdel.

"Well," said I, "one fact is to be admitted, that men, having alwaysgovernedtheworld,mustbythistimehaveacquiredagooddealoftraditionalknowledgeofthescienceofgovernment,andofhumannature,whichwomencan'tlearnbyintuitioninaminute."

"Formypart,"saidIda,"Ineverwasdisposedtoinsistontheimmediategrantingofpoliticalrightstowomen.Ithinkthattheyarerights,andthatitisvery important for the good of society that these rights should finally berespected.ButIamperfectlywilling,formypart,towaitandcometothemintheway,andatthetime,thatwillbebestforthegeneralgood.Iwouldagreatdealrathercometothembygradualevolutionthanbydestructiverevolution.Idonotwantthemtobeforceduponsociety,whenthereissolittlepreparationamongwomenthattheywilldothemselvesnocreditbyit.Allhistoryshowsthat the most natural and undeniable human rights may be granted andmaintainedinawaythatwilljustdefeatthemselves,andbringdiscreditonallthesupportersofthem,justaswasthecasewiththeprinciplesofdemocraticliberty in the first French Revolution. I do not want the political rights ofwomanadvocatedinamannerthatwillcreatesimilardisturbances,andbringalastingscandalonwhatreallyisthetruth.Idonotwantwomentohavetheballot till theywill do themselves credit and improve societyby it. I like tohavethesubjectproposed,andargued,andagitated,andkeptup,inhopesthatagenerationofwomenwillbeeducated for it.And I think it isagreatdealbetterandsafer,whereitcanbedone,tohavepeopleeducatedfortheballot,thantohavethemeducatedbytheballot."

"Well,Ida,there'smoresenseinyouthaninthemostof'em,"saidMr.VanArsdel.

"Yes," said Ida, "I think that an immediate rush into politics of suchwomen as we have now, without experience or knowledge of politicaleconomyofaffairs,wouldbe,asEvasays, just likewomen'sundertaking to

managethemachineryofalargesteamerbyfeminineinstincts.Ihopenevertoseewomen inpublic life tillwehavehadagenerationofwomenwhohavesomepracticalfamiliaritywiththegreatsubjectswhicharetobeconsidered,aboutwhichnowthebestinstructedwomenknowcomparativelynothing.Thequestionwhichmainly interestsme at present is a humanitarian one. It's anabsolutefactthatagreatportionofwomankindhavetheirownlivingtoget;andtheydoitnow,asageneralrule,withmanyofthelawsandinstitutionsofsocietyagainstthem.Thereasonofthisis,thatalltheselawsandinstitutionshavebeenmadebymen,withoutanyconsentorconcurrenceoftheirs.Now,as women are different from men, and have altogether a different class offeelings andwants and necessities, it certainly is right and proper that theyshould have some share in making the laws with which they are to begoverned.Itistruethatthelawshavebeenmadebyfathersandbrothersandhusbands;butnoman,however,near,evercomprehendsfullythenecessitiesandfeelingsofwomen.AnditseemstomethataStatewhereallthelawsaremadebymen,withoutwomen,isjustlikeafamilythatismanagedentirelybyfathers and brothers,without any concurrence ofmothers and sisters. That'smytestimony,andmyviewofthematter."

"Idon'tsee,"saidEva,"ifwomenaretomakethelawsinrelationtotheirown interests, or to have a voice in making them, why they need go intopoliticswithmeninordertodoit,orwhytheyneedceasetoactlikewomen.Ifthethinghasgottobedone,Iwouldhaveaparliamentofwomenmeetbythemselves, and deliberate and have a voice in all that concerns the State.There,that'smycontributiontotheprogramme."

"That'sthewaytheQuakersmanagetheiraffairsintheiryearlymeetings,"said Ida. "I remember I was visiting Aunt Dinah once, during a yearlymeeting, and learned all about it. I remember the sisters had a voice ineverything that was done. The Quaker women have acquired in this way agreatdealoffacilityinthemanagementofbusiness,andagreatknowledgeofaffairs.Theyreallyseemtomesuperiortothemen."

"Icanaccountforthat,"saidI."AmanamongtheQuakersisrestrictedandheld in,andhasn'tasmuch tocultivateanddevelophimasordinarymen intheworld;whereas,woman,amongtheQuakers,hasherspherewidenedanddeveloped."

At thismoment our conversationwas interrupted by the entrance of JimFellows.Heseemedquiteoutofbreathandexcited,andhadnosoonerpassedthecomplimentsoftheevening,thanhebegan.

"Well,"saidhe,"Hal,IhavejustcomefromthePoliceCourt,wherethere'sa precious row. Our friend Dacia Dangyereyes is up for blackmailing andswindling;andthere'saterriblewashofdirtylinengoingon.Iwasjustintime

togettheveryearliestnotesforourpaper."

"Good!"saidMr.VanArsdel."Ihopethecreatureiscaughtatlast."

"Never believe that," said Jim. "She has as many lives as a cat. Theynever'llgetaholdonher.She'lltalk'emallround."

"Disgusting!"saidIda.

"Ah!"saidJim,"it'spartoftheworldasitgoes.She'llcomeoffwithflyingcolors,doubtless,andhercock'sfeatherswillbeflauntingall themerrierforit."

"How horribly disagreeable," said Eva, "to have suchwomen around. Itmakesoneashamedofone'ssex."

"Ithink,"saidIda,"thereisnotsufficientresemblancetoarealwomaninher to make much trouble on her account. She's an amphibious animal,belongingtoatransitionperiodofhumansociety."

"Well,"saidJim,"ifyou'llbelieveit,Mrs.CeruleanandtwoorthreeoftheladiesofhersetareactuallygoingtoinviteDaciatotheirsalon,andpatronizeher."

"Impossible!"saidIda,flushingcrimson;"itcannotbe!"

"Oh,youdon'tknowMrs.Cerulean,"saidJim;"Daciacalledonherwithher newspaper, and conductedherself in amost sweet andwinningmanner,and cast herself at her feet for patronage; andMrs.Cerulean, regarding herthrough those glory spectacles which she usually wears, took her upimmediatelyasapromisingcandidate for the latter-day.Mrs.Ceruleandon'tsee anything in Dacia's paper that, properly interpreted, need make anytrouble; because, you see, as she says, everything ought to be love,everywhere,aboveandbelow,underandover,upanddown,topandsideandbottom,oughttobelove,LOVE.Andthenwhenthere'sgeneralall-overnessand all-throughness, and an entiremixed-up-ativeness, then the infinitewillcomedownintothefinite,andthefinitewilloverflowintotheinfinite,and,inshort,MissDacia'scock'sfeatherswillsailrightstraightupintoheaven,andweshallseehercheekbyjowlwiththeangelGabriel,promenadingthestreetsof the new Jerusalem.That's the programme.Meanwhile,Dacia's delighted.She hadn't the remotest idea of being an angel, or anything of the sort; butsincegoodjudgeshavetoldhersheis,shetakesitallverycontentedly."

"Oh,"saidIda,"itreallycan'tbetrue,Mr.Fellows;itreallyisimpossiblethatsuchladiesasMrs.Cerulean'sset—ladiesoffamilyandposition,ladiesofreal dignity and delicacy—are going to indorse the principles of that paper;principleswhichgototheimmediatedissolutionofcivilizedsociety."

"That'sjustwhattheyaredoing,"saidJim;"Andtheyarehavingaglorious

higholdtimedoingittoo.Mrs.Ceruleanherselfintendstowriteforthepaperon the subject of fortyfication and twentification and unification, andeverythingelsethatendswithation.Anditisthoughtitwillimprovethepapertohavesomenice littlehymns inserted in it, to the tuneof 'IWant tobeanAngel.' IaskedMrs.Ceruleanwhat ifmyfriendDaciashouldripanoath inthemidstofoneofhersalons—youknowthelittlewretchdoesswearlikeapirate;andyououghttoseehowserenelyshelookedovermyheadintothefardistant future, and answered me so tenderly, as if I had been a two hours'chickenpeepingtoher.'Oh,James,'saysshe,'therearemanyopinionsyettobe expressed on the subject of what is commonly called profanity. I havearrived at the conclusionmyself, that in impassionednatures,what is calledprofanity,isonlythestateofpropheticexaltationwhichnaturallyseeksventinintensifiedlanguage.Ishouldn'tthinktheworseofthisfinevigorouscreatureif, in a moment's inspired frenzy, she should burst the tame boundaries ofordinary language. It is true, the vulgar might call it profane. It requiresanointed eyes to see such things truly.Whenwehave risen to theseheightswherewenowstand,webeholdallthingspurified.Thereisaroundusanewheavenandanewearth.'Andsoyousee,DaciaDangyereyesturnsoutatip-topangelofthenewdispensation."

"Well," said Ida, rising,with heightened color, "this, of course, endsmyintercoursewithMrs.Cerulean,ifitbetrue."

"But," saidEva, "howcan theybear thescandalof thisdisgraceful trial?Thiscertainlywillopentheireyes."

"Oh,"saidJim,"youwillsee,Mrs.Ceruleanwilladhereallthecloserforthis.It'spersecution,andvirtueinallageshasbeenpersecuted;therefore,allwhoarepersecuted,arevirtuous.Don'tyouseethelogicalconsistency?Andthen,don'ttheBiblesay,'Blessedareyewhenmenpersecuteyou,andsayallmannerofevilagainstyou?'"

"Itdon'tappeartome,"saidIda,"thatshecansofargoagainstallcommonsense."

"Commonsense!"saidJim;"Mrs.Ceruleanandhercliquehavelongsincerisen above anything like common sense; all their sense is of the mostuncommonkind, and relates toa region somewhereup in theclouds,whereeverythingismadetomatch.Theyliveinanimaginaryworld,andreasonwithimaginary reasons, and see people through imaginary spectacles, and havegloriousgoodtimesallthewhile.AllIwishis,thatIcouldgetupthereandlive;foryouseeIgetintothestateofpropheticecstasyprettyoftenwiththisconfoundedhardgrindbelowhere,andthen,whenIripoutanaughtyword,nobodyseesthebeautyof it.Motherlooksglum.SisterNellsays, 'Oh,Jim!'andlooksdespairing."

"But the fact is," said Mr. Van Arsdel, "Mrs. Cerulean is a respectablewoman,ofrespectablefamily,andthisgirlisatramp;that'swhatsheis;anditisabsolutelyimpossiblethatMrs.Ceruleancanknowwhatsheisabout."

"Well,IdelicatelysuggestedsomesuchthingtoMrs.Cerulean,"saidJim;"but,blessme!thewayshesetmedown!Saysshe,'Doyoumeneverinquireinto thecharacterofpeople thatyouunitewith tocarryyourpurposes?Youjoinwithanybodythatwillhelpyou,withoutregardtoantecedents!"

"She don't speak the truth," said Mr. Van Arsdel. "We men are veryparticularabout the recordof thosewe joinwith tocarryourpurposes.Youwouldn'tfindaboardofbankerstakingamanthathadarecordforswindling,or aman that edited a paper arguing against all rights of property. Doctorswon't admit a man among them who has the record of a quack or amalpractitioner.Clergymenwon'tadmitamanamongthemwhohasarecordof licentiousnessor infidel sentiments.And ifwomenwill admitwomen, inutter disregard to their record of chastity, or their lax principles as to thefamily,theyactonlowerprinciplesthananybodyofmen."

"Besides,"saidI,"thatkindoftolerancecutstheverygroundfromunderthewholewomanmovement;forthemainargumentforproposingit,wastointroduce into politics that superior delicacy and purity, which womenmanifest in family life. But if women are going to be less careful aboutdelicacy and decorum and family purity than men are, the quagmire ofpolitics,foulenoughnow,willbecomeputrid."

"Oh, come," saidEva, "the subject does get too dreadful; I can't bear tothinkof it, and Imove thatwehave a gameofwhist, andput an end to it.Come,now,dolet'ssitdownsociably,andhavesomethingagreeable."

Wewentoutintotheparlorandsatdowntothewhist-table,EvaandAlice,withJimFellowsandmyselfrespectivelyaspartners,andindulgedourselvesin oneof those agreeable chatty gameswhichmake the designation "whist"quite an amusing satire—one of those games played with that charmingdisregard of all rules which is so inspiring. In the best of spirits we talkedacrossthetabletoeachother,trumpedourpartners'queens,anddidallsortsofenormitiesintheexcitementofthebrilliantby-playofconversationwhichwekeptupallthewhile.Itmaybeafamiliarexperiencetomany,thatoneneverthinks of somany things to say, and somany fruitful topics for immediatediscussion, aswhenoneprofesses to be playingwhist.But then, if a younggentlemanwishes agoodopportunity to reconnoiter a certain face, nomoreadvantageouspositioncanbegivenhimthantohaveitvisàvisatthewhist-table.

"Now, Mr. Henderson," said Alice, "we are going to make a goodchurchmanofyou."

"Iamhappytohearit,"saidI."Iamreadytobemadeanythinggoodof,thatyoucanmention."

"Well,"saidAlice,"wearegoingtopressyouandMr.Fellows,here,intotheserviceofthechurch."

"Shall be perfectly enchanted!" said Jim. "If the church only knew myenergies,theywouldhavetriedtogetmelongbefore."

"Then," said Eva, "youmust gowith us to-morrow evening; forwe aregoingtobeupallnight,aboutthefloraldecorationsofourchurchforEastermorning.Oh!youhavenoideawhatsplendidthingswearegoingtodo.Weshallbeatworkhard,allday to-morrow,uponourwreathsandcrosses;andthethingsmustallbeputuplateatnightsoastokeepthemfromwithering.Then,youknow,wemustbeoutagaintothesunriseservice."

"Why,"saidI,"itisaregularpieceofdissipation."

"Certainly,—religiousdissipation,youknow,"saidAlice.

"Well,"saidEva,"Idon'tknowwhyweshouldnotbeupallnighttodressthe church, for once in our lives, as well as to be up all night dancing theGerman. Ida says it is wicked to do either. Ida makes a perfect hobby ofeverybody'skeepingtheirhealth."

"Yes,but,"saidI,"ifpeoplekeepthemselves,generally,intemperanceandsoberness, they can afford a great strain, now and then, if it be for a goodpurpose."

"At any rate," saidEva, "you andMr. Fellows come round and take teawithusandhelpuscarryourtrophiestothechurch."

CHAPTERXXVI.

COUSINCAROLINEAGAIN.

AboutthistimeIreceivedthefollowingletterfrommyCousinCaroline:

"Dear Cousin:—I have had no time to keep up correspondence withanybody for the past year. The state of my father's health has requiredmyconstantattention,dayandnight,toadegreethathasabsorbedallmypower,andleftnotimeforwriting.Forthelastsixmonthsfatherhasbeenperfectlyhelplesswiththemostdistressingformofchronicrheumatism.Hissufferingshavebeenprotractedandintense,sothatithasbeenwearingeventowitnessthem; and the utmost that I could do seemed to bring very little relief.Andwhen,atlast,deathclosedthescene,itseemedtobeinmercy,puttinganend

tosufferingswhichwereintolerable.

"For a month after his death, I was in a state of utter prostration, bothphysicalandmental,—wornoutwithwatchingandcare.Mypoor father;hewas himself to the last, reticent, silent, undemonstrative anduncommunicative. It seemed tome that Iwould have givenworlds for onetender word from him. I felt a pity and a love that I dared not show; hissufferingswenttomyveryheart;butherepelledeverywordofsympathy,andwascoldandsilenttothelast.YetIbelievethathereallylovedmeandthatfarwithin this frozen circle of ice, his soul was a lonely prisoner, longing toexpressitself,andunable;longingforthelightandwarmthofthatlovewhichnevercouldtouchhiminitsicydepths;andIamquitesure,itismycomforttoknow,thatdeathhasbrokentheiceandmeltedthebands;andIbelievethathehasenteredthekingdomofheavenasalittlechild.

"ThehardskiesofourNewEngland,itsrockysoil,itsseverenecessities,makecharacters likehis; and they intrench themselves in a similar religiousfaithwhichmakesthemstillharder.Theylivetoaspireandtosuffer,butnevertoexpress themselves;andeverysoftandwarmheart that isconnectedwiththempinesandsuffersanddieslikeflowersthatarethrownuponicebergs.

"Well,allisnowover,andIamfreeoftheworld.Ihave,inthedivisionoftheproperty, a fewacresofwood-lot, andmanyacresof rough, stony land,andaboutahundreddollarsofyearlyincome.Imustdosomething,therefore,formyownsupport.EversinceyouleftusIhavebeenreadingandstudyingunderthecareofyouruncle,who,sinceyourconversationwithhim,hasbeenvery kind and thoughtful. But then, of course, my studies have beeninterruptedbysomeduties,and,duringthelastyear,suspendedaltogetherbythenecessityofgivingmyselftothecareoffather.

"Now,mydesireis,ifIcouldinanywayearnthemeans,togotoFranceandperfectmyselfinmedicalstudies.Iamtoldthatamedicaleducationcanbeobtainedtherebywomencheaperthananywhereelse;andIhavecastaboutinmyownmindhowImightearnmoneyenoughtoenablemetodoit.NowIaskyou,whoareinNewYorkandonthepress,whoknowmethoroughly,anditalso,couldI,shouldIcometoNewYork,gainanysituationaswriterforthepress,whichwouldgiveme an income for a year or two, bywhich I couldmake enough to accomplishmy purpose? I should notwish to be always awriter;itwouldbetooexhausting;butifIcouldgetintoaprofessionthatIamwelladaptedfor,Ishouldexpecttosucceedinit.

"Ihavetheabilitytoliveandmakearespectableappearanceuponaverylittle.Iknowenough,practically,oftheartsofwoman-crafttoclothemyselfhandsomely for a small sum, and I am willing to live in cheap obscurelodgings,andthinkIcouldboardmyself,also,foraverymoderatesum.Iam

willing to undergo privations, and to encounter hard work to carry mypurpose,andIwritetoyou,dearcousin,becauseIknowyouwillspeaktomejust as freely as though I were not a woman, and give me your unbiasedopinionas towhetherorno Icoulddoanything in the line that I indicate. Iknow that you would give me all the assistance in your power, and feel aperfectrelianceuponyourfriendship."

The letter here digressed into local details and family incidents notnecessarytobereproduced.IresolvedtolayitbeforeBolton.Itseemedtomethathisreceptionofitwouldfurnishsomesortofclewtothemysteryofhisformer acquaintance with her. The entire silence that he had alwaysmaintainedwithregardtohisformerknowledgeofher,whileyethesecretlytreasuredherpicture,seemed tome to indicate thathemightsomehowhavebeenconnectedwith thatpassageofher life referred tobymymotherwhenshe said thatCaroline's father had, at one period of her life, crushed out aninterestthatwasvitaltoher.

"The sly old fox," said I to myself, "always draws me on to tell himeverything, while he keeps a closemouth, and I learn nothing of him." Ofcourse, I felt that to ask any questions or seek to pry into a past which heevidentlywasnotdisposedtotalkabout,wouldbeanindelicateimpertinence.ButmyconscienceandsenseofhonorwerequiteappeasedbythisopportunitypresentedbyCaroline'sletter.BoltonwasolderinthepressthanI,and,withall his reticence and modesty, had a wide circle of influence. He seemedcontentedtoseeknothingforhimself;butIhadhadoccasiontonoticeinmyown experience that he was not boasting idly when he said, on our firstacquaintance,thathehadsomeinfluenceinliteraryquarters.Hehadalreadyprocuredforme,fromaninfluentialmagazine,propositionsforarticleswhichwerebothflatteringtomyprideandlucrativeintheremuneration.Inthisway,theprospectofmyyearlyincome,whichonthepartoftheGreatDemocracywassoveryinadequate,wasenlargedtoaveryrespectablefigure.

"Halloo,Bolton!"saidI."Haveyougotafoundlinghospitalhere?"

Iresolved,therefore,togouptoBolton'sroomandputthisletterintohishands.Iknockedatthedoor,butnooneansweringIopeneditandwentin.Hewasnotthere,butanoddenoughscenepresenteditselftome.Thelittletow-headed, freckled boy, that I had formerly remarked as an inmate of theapartment,wasseatedbythefirewithagirl,somewhatyoungerthanhimself,nursingbetweenthemalargefatbundleofababy.

"Hallo," said I, "what havewe here?What are you doing here?"At thismoment—before the children could answer—I heard Bolton coming up thestairs.Heenteredtheroom;abrightcolormountedtohischeeksashesawthegroupbythefire,andme.

"Hallo,Hal!"hesaid,withasortofconsciouslaugh.

"Hallo,Bolton!"saidI."Haveyougotafoundlinghospitalhere?"

"Oh,well, well," said he; "nevermind; let 'em stay there. Do youwantanything?There," saidhe, pulling apackageofbunsoutofhispocket, "eatthose;andwhenthebabygetsasleepyoucanlayheronthebedintheotherroom.Andthere,"—totheboy,—"youreadthisstoryaloudtoyoursisterwhenthe baby is asleep.And now,Hal,what can I do for you? Suppose I comedownintoyourroomforawhileandtalk?"

Hetookmyarm,andwewentdownthestairstogether;andwhenwegotintomyroomheshutthedoorandsaid:

"ThefactisHal,Ihavetotakecareofthatfamily—mywasherwoman,youknow.PoorMrs.Molloy,shehasahusbandthataboutonceamonthmakesaperfect devil of himself, so that the children areobliged to run andhide forfearoftheirlives.Andthenshehasgotthewayofsendingthemtome,andIhavetogodownandattendtohim."

"Blessme!"saidI,"whywillwomenlivewithsuchbrutes?Whydon'tyoumakeherseparatefromhim?"

Bolton seated himself at my table, and leaned back in his chair, with acuriousexpressionofcountenance,verysad,yetnotwithoutatouchofhumorinit.

"Well,yousee,"hesaid,"thefactis,Hal,sheloveshim."

"Well,sheoughtn'ttolovehim,"saidI.

"Maybenot;but shedoes," saidhe. "She loves thatpoorPatMolloysomuchthattobeangrywithhimisjustlikeyourrighthandbeingangrywithyourlefthand.Supposethere'sagreatboilonthelefthand,what'stherighttodoaboutitbutsimplybearthesufferingandwaitforittogetwell?That,yousee,islove;andbecauseofit,youcan'tgetwomenawayfromtheirhusbands.Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?"

"But,"saidI,"itisperfectlyabsurdforawomantoclingtosuchaman."

"Well,"saidBolton,"threeweeksofthemonthPatMolloyisjustaskindandtenderafatherandhusbandasyouwillfind,andthenbythefourthweekcomesaroundhisdrunkenspell,andhe'sadevil.Nowshesays,'Suresir,it'sthedrink.It'snotPatatallsir;he'snothimselfsir.'Andshewaitstillit'sover—takingcarethathedoesn'tkillthechildren.Now,shallIpersuadehertolethimgotothedevil?DoesnotJesusChristsay, 'Gatherupthefragmentsthatnothing be lost'?He said it about a basket of bread;wouldn't he say it stillmoreaboutthefragmentsofthehumansoul?IfsheleavesPat,wherewillhego to?First, to someharlot, then tomurder, and the gallows—and that gets

himoutoftheway."

"Well,"saidI,"isn'thebetteroutthanin?"

"Whoknows?"saidBolton."AllIhavetosayis,thatpoorMollyMolloy,withherbroadIrishbrogue,andherlovethatcan'tbetired,andcan'tgivehimup, and that bears, and believes, and hopes, and endures, seems to me arevelation of the Christ-like spirit a thousand times more than if she wastrampingtoawoman'srightsconventionandexposingherwrongsandcallingdownjusticeonhishead."

"But,"saidI,"lookatthechildren!Oughtn'tshetopartwithhimontheiraccount?"

"Yes,lookatthechildren,"saidhe."Thelittlethingshavelearnedalready,fromtheirmother,tocareforeachother,andtocarefortheirfather.Intheirlittlechildishway,theyloveandbearwithhimjustasshedoes.Theboycametomethisafternoonandsaid,'Father'sgotanothercrazyspell.'Alreadyhehasadelicacyinhisverymodeofspeaking;andhedoesn'tsayhisfatherisdrunk,butthatheiscrazy,asheis.Andthenheandthelittlegirlaresofatherlyandmotherlywith thebaby.Now, I say,all thisgrowthofvirtuearoundsinandsorrowissomethingtoberevered.Thefactis"—headded—

"Theday for separating the tares from thewheathasn't comeyet.And itseemstomethatthemoraldisciplineofbearingwithevil,patiently,isagreatdeal better and more ennobling than the most vigorous assertion of one'spersonal rights. I can see a great deal of suffering in that family from poorPat'sweaknessandwickedness,butIalsoseemostnoblevirtuesgrowingup,eveninthesechildren,fromthestraitstowhichtheyareput.AndastopoorPat himself, he comes out of his demon-baptism penitent and humble, andmoreanxioustopleasethanever.Itisreallyaffectingtoseewithwhatzealheservesme,whenIhavebroughthimthrougha'drunk.'AndyetIknowthatitwillhavetobegoneover,andover,andoveragain.Sometimesitseemstomehe is like the earth after a thunder-shower—fresher and clearer than hewasbefore.AndIamquiteofMrs.Molloy'smind—thereistoomuchgoodinPatto have him swept off into the gutter for the bad; and so, asGod gives hergrace to suffer, lether suffer.And if I canbearone littleendofhercross, Iwill.Ifshedoesnotsavehiminthislife,she'llsavehimfromsinkinglowerindemonism.Shemayonlykeephisheadabovewatertillhegetspastthegatesofdeath,andthen,perhaps,inthenextlife,hewillappeartobesavedbyjustthatmuchwhichshehasdoneinkeepinghimup."

Boltonspokewithanintenseearnestness,andasadandsolemntone,asifhe were shaken and almost convulsed by some deep, internal feeling. Forsome moments there was a silence between us,—the silence of a greatunutteredemotion.Atlast,hedrewalongbreath,andsaid,"Well,Hal,what

wasityouwantedtotalkabout?"

"Oh,"saidI,"IhavealetterfromafriendofminethatIwantedtoshowyou,toseewhetheryoucoulddoanything"—andIgavehimCaroline'sletter.

Hesatdownunder thegas-light to read it.Thesightof thehand-writingseemedtoaffecthimatonce.Hislarge,darkeyesflashedovertheletter,andheturneditquickly,andlookedatthesignature;amostunutterableexpressionpassedoverhis face, like thatof amanwho is indangerofgivingaway tosomeviolentemotion;andthen,apparentlybyagreateffortofself-constraint,hesethimselfcarefullytoreadingtheletter.Hereaditovertwoorthreetimes,folded it up, and handed it back to me without any remark, and then satleaningforwardonthetablewithhisfaceshadedwithhishand.

"My cousin is a most uncommon character," I said; "and, as you willobservebythisletter,hasagooddealofabilityasawriter."

"I amacquaintedwithher,"he said,briefly,makinga suddenmovementwithhishand.

"Indeed?Wheredidyouknowher?"

"Yearsago,"hesaid,briefly."Itaughttheacademyinhervillage,andshewasoneofmyscholars.Iknowthecharacterofhermind."

Therewas a dry brevity in all this, of amanwho is afraid that he shallexpressmorethanhemeansto.

Said I, "I showed this letter to you because I thought you had moreinfluenceinthepressthanIhave;andifyouareacquaintedwithher,somuchthebetter,asyoucanjudgewhethershecangainanyemploymentherewhichwould make it worth her while to come and try. I have always had animpressionthatshehadveryfinementalpowers."

"There isnodoubtabout that,"he said,hurriedly. "She is anexceptionalwoman."

Heroseup,andtooktheletterfromme."Ifyouwillallowmetoretainthisawhile,"hesaid,"IwillseewhatIcando;butjustnowIhavesomewritingtofinish.Iwillspeaktoyouaboutitto-morrow."

That evening, I introduced the subject tomy friend, IdaVanArsdel, andgave her a sketch of Caroline's life-history. She entered into it with thewarmest interest, and was enthusiastic in her desire that the plan mightsucceed.

"IhopethatshewillcometoNewYork,"shesaid,"sothatwecanmakeher acquaintance. Don't, pray, fail to let me know, Mr. Henderson, if sheshouldbehere,thatImaycallonher."

CHAPTERXXVII.

EASTERLILIES.

ThenextafternoonJimandIkeptourappointmentwiththeVanArsdel's.We found one of the parlors transformed to a perfect bower of floraldecorations. Stars and wreaths and crosses and crowns were either justfinishedorinprocessofrapidconstructionunderfairyfingers.WhenIcamein,EvaandAlicewerebusyonagiganticcross,tobemadeentirelyofliliesofthe valley, ofwhich somebushelswere lying around on the carpet. Ida hadjoined the service, and was kneeling on the floor tying up the flowers inbunchestoofferthemtoEva.

"Yousee,Mr.Henderson,thedifferencebetweenmodernreligionandtheprimitiveChristians,"shesaid."Theircrosswas roughwoodandhardnails;oursisliliesandrosesmadeupinfashionabledrawing-rooms."

"I'mafraid,"saidEva,"ourcrownmayprovemuchofthesamematerial!"

"Isometimeswonder,"saidIda,"whetherallthemoneyspentforflowersatEastercouldnotbetterbespentinsomemodeofrelievingthepoor."

"Well,"saidEva,"Iamsorrytobringupsuchaparallel,butisn'tthatjustthe same kind of remark that Judas made about the alabaster vase ofointment?"

"Yes,"saidI;"whatcouldbemoreapparentlyuselessthanamereperfume,losing itself in the air, andvanishing entirely?Andyet theSaviour justifiedthatlavishexpenditurewhenitwastheexpressionofaheart-feeling."

"But," said Ida, "don't you think it very difficult tomark the linewheretheseservicesandofferingstoreligiousworshipbecomeexcessive?"

"Of course it is," said I; "but nomore difficult on this subject than anyother."

"That'sthegreattroubleinthislife,"saidEva."Thelinebetweenrightandwrongseemsalwayssoindefinite,likethelinebetweenanytwocolorsoftheprism—itishardtosayjustwhereoneendsandanotherbegins."

"Itistheofficeofcommonsense,"Isaid,"togettheexactrightinallsuchmatters—thereisasortofinstinctinit."

"Well,allIhavetosayaboutitis,"saidEva,"sincewedospendlavishlyandwithoutstintinourhousesandinourdressforadornment,weoughttodoat least as much for our religion. I like to see the adornment of a church

generous,overflowing,asifwegaveourverybest.Astotheselilies,Iorderedthemofanhonestgardener,anditgoestohelpsupportafamilythatwouldbepoorifitwerenotfortheseflowers.Itisbettertosupportoneortwofamilieshonestly, by buying their flowers for churches than it is to give themoneyaway.SoIlookonit."

"Oh, well," said Alice, "there is no end to anything. Everything you dotendstosomethingelse;andeverythingleadstosomething;andthereisneveranyknowingaboutanything;andso I think it isbest just tohaveasgoodatimeasyoucan,anddoeverythingthatisagreeable,andmakeeverythingjustasprettyas it canbe.And I think it is fun to trimup thechurch forEaster.There now! And it don't do any harm. And I just like to go to the sunriseservice,ifitdoesmakeonesleepyallday.Whatdoyousay,Mr.Fellows?Doyouthinkyoucouldgothroughwiththewholeofit?"

"MissAlice, ifyouonlygoyouwillfindmeinspiredwiththespiritofaprimitiveChristianinthisrespect,"saidJim."Ishallfollowwhereveryouleadtheway,ifit'seversolateatnight,oreversoearlyinthemorning."

"AndMr.Henderson,"saidshe,"maywedependonyou,too?"

"By allmeans," said I, as I sat industriously gathering up the lilies intobunchesandtyingthem.

"Mr.Hendersonisinahopefulway,"saidEva."Ithinkwemayhavehiminthetruechurchsomeofthesetimes."

"Iamafraid,"saidIda,"thatMr.Henderson,havingseenyouonlyinLent,won'tbeable tokeep trackofyouwhentheEasterrejoicingsbegin,and thepartiesrecommence."

"Ohdearme!" saidEva,with a sort of shudder, "To thinkof that horridwedding!"

"That'sjustlikeEva,"saidAlice."She'sbeen,andbeen,andbeentothesethings till she's tiredoutwith them;whereas, I am just comeout, and I likethem,andwantmoreofthem.Idon'tthinktheyarehorridatall.Iamperfectlydelighted about thatElmorewedding.Onewill see there all thenew things,andall the stunning things, andall the latestdevices fromParis. Iwas inatTullegig's the other day, and you never saw such a sight as her rooms are!Somebodysaiditlookedasifrainbowshadbeenbrokentopiecesandthrownallround.Sheshowedmeall thedifferentcostumesthatshewasmakingupforthevariousparties.Youknowtherearetobesevenbride's-maids,andeachofthemistowearadifferentcolor.Madamethinks'C'estsigentil.'Then,youknow, they aremaking such grand preparations up at that chateau of theirs.Thewholegardenistoberoofedinandmadeaballroomof.Ithinkitwillbegorgeous.Isay,Mr.Fellows,ifyouandMr.Hendersonwouldlikeit,IknowI

couldmanagecardsforyou."

Jimassented,heartily,forbothofus;andIaddedthatIshouldliketoseetheaffair; for Ihadneverseenenoughof thatsortof thing to takeawaythenovelty.

Afterteaweallsalliedouttothechurchwithourtrophies.Wewentintwocarriages, for the better accommodation of these, and had a busy timedisembarking at the church and carrying them in. Here we met a largecommitteeofco-workers,andthesceneofrealbusinesscommenced.JimandI worked heroically under the direction of our fair superintendents. Bymidnightthechurchwasaboweroffragranceandbeauty.Thechancelseemeda perfect bed of lilies, out of which rose the great white cross, sheddingperfumeupon theair.Thebaptismal fontwascoveredwithacloselywovenmosaicoffragrantviolets,andineachpanelappearedanalternateredorwhitecross formed of flowers. The font was filled with a tall bouquet of whitesaint's-lilies,suchasgardenersforceforEaster.

Eva and Iworked side by side this evening, and never had I seemed toknowhermoreintimately.Thefactis,amongotherdangeroussituationstoayoungman's heart, nonemay bementionedmore seductive than to be in achurchtwiningflowersandsortingcrossesandemblemsinthestillholyhoursofthenight.One'sheadgets,somehow,bewildered;allworldlyboundariesofcoldprudencefadeaway;andoneseemstobelifteduptosomeotherkindoflandwherethosethatarecongenialneverpartfromeachother.SoIfeltwhen,ourworkbeingalldone,IretiredwithEvatotheshadowofadistantpewtosurveythewholeresult.Wehadturnedonthegas-lighttoshowourwork,anditsbeams,fallingonthousandsofthesewhitelily-bellsandonall thesacredemblems,shedasortofchastenedlight.Again,somehow,asifithadbeenarose-leaffloatingdownfromheaven,Ifoundthatlittlehandinmine;andwespokelowtoeachother,inwhispers,ofhowgoodandhowpleasantitwastobe there, and tounite in suchserviceandwork—words thatmeant farmorethan theyseemed to say.Once, in thecourseof theevening, I sawher littleglovewhere ithad fallen intoanestofcast-off flowers,and,asnoonewaslooking, I seized upon it as a relic, and appropriated it to my own sacredmemories. Nor would I surrender it, though afterward I heard her makingpathetic inquiries for it. Late at night Iwent home to think and dream, andwokewiththefirstdimgrayofmorning,thinkingofmyappointmenttomeetheratthechurch.

Itisacharmingthingtogooutinthefreshcalmmorningbeforeanyoneisstirring.Thebellsforearlyserviceweredroppingtheirnoteshereandthere,downthrough theair,as ifangelswerecallingmen toawakeandrememberthat great eventwhichhappened so silently and sounregarded,many,manyyearsago.IthoughtasIwalkedthroughthedimstreetsandsawhereandthere

anearlyworshiper,prayer-bookinhand,stealingalong,ofthelonelywomenwho,yearsago,inJerusalem,soughtthesepulchretoseewheretheyhadlaidHim.

Little twittering sparrows filled the ivy on the outside of the church andmadeitvibratewiththeirchirpings.Therewasthepromiseinthebrighteningskiesofaglorioussunrise.Istoodwaitingawhile,quitealone,tillonebyonethebandsofyouthsandmaidenscamefromdifferentdirections.

IhadcalledJimasIwentout,buthe,preferringtotaketheutmostlatitudefor sleep, looked at hiswatch and toldme hewould take another half hourbeforehejoinedus.

Evawas there, however, among the very first. The girls, she said, werecoming.Wewentintothedimchurchtogetherandsatourselvesdownintheshadysolitudeofoneoftheslipswaitingforthemorninglighttopourthroughthe painted windows. We said nothing to each other; but the silence wassociable and not blank. There are times in life when silence between twofriendsisbetterthanspeech;fortheyknoweachotherbyintuition.

Graduallythechurchfilledwithworshipers;andastherisingsunstreamedthroughthepaintedwindowsandtouchedallthelilieswithbrightness,achoirof children in the organ-loft broke forth into carols like so many invisiblebirds.Andthen,theoldchant,

"Christ,beingraisedfromthedead,diethnomore,"

seemedtothrilleveryheart.

After the service came a general shaking of hands and greetings fromneighborsandfriends,aseverybodywalkedroundexaminingthedecorations.

"Now, Mr. Henderson," said Eva, as she stood with me surveying thisscene,"isnotachurchwhichpreservesall thesehistoricalmemorialsamostlovelyone?Oughtwenot thus tocherish thememoryof thatgreatest eventthateverhappenedinthisworld?Andhowbeautifulitistobringupchildrenyear after year by festivals like these, to mark off their life in acts ofremembrance."

"Youspeaktruly,"Isaid,sharingherenthusiasm."Icouldwishthechurchof all good people had never ceased to keep Easter; indeed, they who dodisregarditseemtomeacoldminorityoutofthegreatfellowship.Ithinkitisfortunate that the Romish and the Episcopal churches are bringing us,descendantsofthePuritans,backtothoseprimitivecustoms.I,forone,comebackwillinglyandjoyfully."

[EvaVanArsdeltoIsabelConvers.]

MyDarlingBelle:—Ihavebeenanaughtygirltoletyourletterliesolong.

Butmydarling,it isnottrue,asyoutheresuggest, that thebondsofsisterlyaffection,whichboundusinschool,aregrowingweaker,andthatInolongertrustyouasaconfidentialfriend.Believeme,thedaywillnevercome,dearestBelle,whenIshallceasetounfoldtoyoueveryinnermostfeeling.

And now to come to the point about "thatMr. Henderson." Indeed, mylove,yourcautionsaregreatlymistaken.Itistruethat,muchtomysurprise,he has taken a fancy to visit quite intimately at our house, and has madehimselfageneralfavoriteinthefamily.Mamma,andAuntMaria,andallthegirlslikehimsomuch.But,then,youmustknowheisgenerallysetdownasIda'sadmirer.AtalleventsIdaandheareextremelygoodfriends;andwhenhe calls here he generally spends the largest part of the evening in hersanctum; and they have most edifying conversations on all the approvedmodern topics—the Darwinian theory, woman's rights, and everything elseyoucanthinkof.OnethingIadmitisalittlepeculiar—henoticeseverythingthat I say in conversation—I must own. I never saw such an observingcreature.Forexample,thefirsteveninghewasatourhouse,IjustaccidentallydroppedbeforehimtheremarkthatIwasgoingtoearlymorningservicesinLent, and would you believe it?—the next morning he was there too, andwalkedhomewithme.Iwasthemoreastonished,becausehedoesnotbelongtotheChurch—soonewouldnotexpectit,youknow.HeisamemberoftheBethanyChurchhimself,butheseemsdelightedwithourservices,andtalksabout thembeautifully—aswellasour rectorcould. I reallywishyoucouldhaveheardhim!Heseemstohavesuchanearnest,thoughtfulmind;andwhatI like in him is, that he never flatters, and talks that matter-of-coursecomplimentary nonsense, that some men think is the thing to be talked toladies; neither has he that way of talking down to one that superior mensometimes have,when they are talkingwith us girls. I read somewhere thissentiment—thatwemayknow theopinionpeoplehaveofusby thekindofconversationtheyaddresstous—andifthisissoIoughttobeflatteredbythewayMr.Hendersontalkstome;forIthinkheshowsquiteasmuchanxietytofindoutmyopiniononallsubjectsashedoesIda's.Youwill,perhaps,thinkitratherpeculiar if I tell you that ever since that firstmorninghehasbeenasconstantatthemorningservicesasIhave,andalwayswalkshomewithme.Inthiswaywe reallyaregettingquite intimatelyacquainted.Now,Belle,don'tput on that knowing look of yours, and intimate that there is anythingparticular in all this, for there is not. I do assure you there is not a bit ofnonsense in it. Youwould be perfectly astonished to hear how gravely andphilosophicallywe talk.Wemoralize and philosophize, and as Jim Fellowswouldsay,"comethehighmoraldodge"inawaythatwouldastonishyou.

Andyet,Belle,theywronguswhoarecalledfashionablegirls,whentheytake for granted that we are not capable of thinking seriously, and that weprefer thosewhose conversation consists onlyof flattery andnonsense. It is

mainlybecause I feel thatMr.Hendersonhasdeep, seriouspurposes in life,and because he appreciates and addresses himself to the deepest part ofmynaturethathisfriendshipissovaluabletome.Isayfriendshipadvisedly,dearBelle, because I insist upon it that there canbe friendship,pure and simple,betweenagentlemananda lady; inour case there is "only this andnothingmore."

Howvery teasingandprovoking it is that therecannotbe this friendshipwithout observation and comment! Now I am very careful to avoid anyoutwardappearanceofspecialintimacythatmightmaketalk,andheappearstobeverycarefulalso.Afterthefirstdayatmorningservicehedidnotjoinme immediately on going out of church, but went out at another door andjoinedmeatthenextcorner.Iwassothankfulforit,foroldMrs.Eyelettwastherewithhersharpeyes,andIknowbyexperiencethatthoughsheisapillarof thechurchshefindsabundanceof leisurefromherdevotions towatchallthelambsoftheflock;andIamonethateverybodyseemstokeepspeciallyinmindaspropertobelookedafter.IfIonlyspeakto,orlookat,orwalkwiththesamepersonmorethanonce,theairytonguesofrumorarebusyengagingand marrying me. Isn't it horrid? I would not have old Mrs. Eyelett getanythingof thissort intoherheadfor theworld; it'ssodisagreeable tohavesuchathinggettoagentleman'shearingwhenheknowsthereisnotruthinit;andtheworldhascondescendedtointerestitselfsomuchinmyfortunesthatitseemsdangerousforanybodytobemorethancivilwithoutbeingsetdownasanaspirant.

The only comfort there is in being persistently reported engaged toMr.Sydneyisthatitservestokeepoffotherreports,andIsometimesthinkoftheoldfableofthefoxwhowouldnothavethepresentswarmoffliesdrivenofflest there shouldcomeanewone in itsplace.HowIwishpeoplewould letone'sprivateaffairsalone!HereImustbreakoff,forthereiscompanydownstairs.

WednesdayEve.

Ihave let this thing liesomedays,dearBelle,because therehasbeensomuchgoingandcoming,timehasflittedaway.Mr.H.hasbeenatourhouseagooddeal.Ihavemadeadiscoveryabouthim.Hehasabeautifulcousinthathe thinks everything of—"Cousin Caroline"—and she is a very superiorwoman.Soyouseehowsillyallyoursuggestionsare,Belle.ForaughtIknowhemaybe engaged to this cousinCaroline. I believe she is coming toNewYork,andIamjustwildtoseeher.YouknowIwanttoseeifIshalllikeher.Shemustbejustthethingforhim;andIhopeIshalllikeher.Idathinkssheshall.AuntMaria,whowantstoportionoffthefateofmortals,hasmadeuphermindthatMr.H.mustbeanadmirerofIda's;andinshort,thattheyaretobeforeachother.

Idalooksdownonallthissortofthingwithherplacidsuperiority.Shehasa perfect contempt for it, so very perfect that it is quiet. She does not eventrouble herself to express it. Ida likes Mr. H. very much, and has astraightforward,open,honestfriendshipwithhim,anddoesn'ttroubleherheadabitwhatpeoplemaysay.

SaturdayMorning.

WeareallbusynowaboutEasterdecorations.Wehaveorderednoendofflowers,andaregoingintoadornmentsonagreatscale.Wepressallhandsinthatwecanget.Mr.HendersonandJimFellowsarecomingto-nighttoteatohelpuscarryourthingstochurchandgetthemup.

MondayMorning.

Iamsotired.WewereupnearlyallnightSaturday,andthenatthesunriseserviceEastermorning,andservicesallday.Beautiful!Lovelyastheycouldbe!Butifonehasagoodtimeinthisworld,onemustpayforit—andIamalltiredout.

Mr.Hendersonwaswithusthroughthewholeaffair.Onethingseemedtomequitestrange.Idroppedmygloveamongsomeflowers,whileIwasbusyputtingupawreathoflilies,andIsawhimthroughabowerofhemlocktreeswalkuptothespot,andslylyconfiscatethearticle.InamomentIcameback,andsaid,"Idroppedmyglovehere.Wherecanitbe?"Thewretchedcreaturehelpedmesearchforit,witheveryappearanceofinterest,butneverofferedtorestorethestolengoods.Itwasallsoquiet—soprivate!Youknow,gentlemenoftenpretend,asamatterofgallantry,thattheywantyourglove,oraribbon,orsomesuchmemento;butthiswasallsosecret.HeevidentlythinksIdon'tknowit;and,Belle—whatshouldyouthinkaboutit?

Eva.

CHAPTERXXVIII.

ENCHANTMENTANDDISENCHANTMENT.

During a month after Easter, I was, so to speak, in a state of mentalsomnambulism, seeing the visible things of this mortal life through anenchanted medium, in which old, prosaic, bustling New York, with its drydrudgeriesanduninterestingdetails,becamesuddenlyvivifiedandglorified;justaswhensomerosysunsetfloodswithlightthematter-of-factarchitectureofPrinting-HouseSquare,andetherealizeseveryline,andguideseverydetail,andheightenseverybitofcolor,tillitallseemspicturesqueandbeautiful.

Ididnotknowwhatwasthematterwithme,butIfeltsomehowasifIhadtaken the elixir of life and was breathing the air of an immortal youth.WheneverIsatdowntowriteIfoundmyinspiration.Inolongerfeltmyselfaloneinmythoughtsandspeculations;Iwrotetoanothermind,amindthatIfeltwouldrecognizemine;andthenIcarriedwhatIhadwritten,andreadittoIdaVanArsdelforhercriticisms.Idawasacapitalcritic,andhadgraciouslyexpressedherwillingnessanddesiretoaidmeinthisway,toanyextent.ButwasitIdawhowasmyinspiration?

Sittingby,bentoverherembroidery,orcominginaccidentallyandsittingdown to listen,wasEva; fullof thought, fullof inquiry; sometimesgayandairy,sometimescaptiousandcontroversial—alwayssuggestiveandinspiring.Fromthesereadingsgrewtalksprotractedandconfidential,onallmannerofsubjects;andeachtalkwasthehappyparentofmoretalks,tillitseemedthattherewasgrowingupanendlessseriesofoccasionsforourhavinglongandexcitinginterviews;for,whatwassaidyesterday,inthereflectionsandfanciesof the night following, immediately blossomed out into queries andconsequences and inferences on both sides, which it was immediately andpressinglynecessarythatweshouldmeettocompareandadjust.Now,whentwo people are in this state of mind, it is surprising what a number ofprovidential incidents are always bringing them together. It was perfectlyastonishingtousbothtofindhowmanypurelyaccidentalinterviewswehad.IfIwentoutforawalk,Iwassure,firstorlast,tomeether.TobesureItooktowalkingverymuchinstreetsandsquareswhereIhadobservedshemightbeexpectedtoappear—butthatdidnotmakethematterseemtomethelessunpremeditated.

I had been in the habit of taking a daily constitutional stroll in CentralPark, and the Van Arsdels were in the habit of driving there, at orthodoxfashionable hours. In time, it seemed to happen that this afternoon stroll ofminealwaysbroughtforththehappyfruitofapleasantinterview.

There was no labyrinth or bower or summer-house, no dingle or boskydell, so retired that Ididnot find itoccasionallyhauntedby thepresenceofthisdryad.

Trueshewasnottherealone;sometimeswithIda,sometimeswithAlice,orwith a lively bevy of friends—but itmade no differencewithwhom, solongasshewasthere.

Themanysinsofomissionandcommissionofwhich theCityFathersofNewYorkareaccused,are,Ithink,wonderfullyredeemedandcoveredbythebeautiesoftheprovisionforhumanitywhichtheyhavemadeinCentralPark.Havingseeneveryparkintheworld,Iamnotashamedtoglorifyourown,asprovidingasmuchbeautyandcheappleasureascananywherebefoundunder

thesun.

Especially ought all lovers par excellence to crown the projectors andexecutors of this Park with unfading wreaths of olive and myrtle. It is soevidentlyadaptedtoallthepurposesoffallinginloveandkeepinginlovethatthe onlywonder is that any one can remain a bachelor in presence of suchadvantagesandprivileges!Thereisallthepeacefulness,alltheseclusion,alltheinnocentwildnessofacountryArcadia,givenforthepriceofafivecents'rideinthecarstoanycitizenwhochoosestobemademoralandinnocent.

TheCentralParkisanimmortalpoem,foreveraddressingitselftotheeyeand ear in the whirl and bubble of that hot and bewildered city. It is aWordsworthimmortalizedandmadepermanent,preachingtothecitizens.

"Oneimpulsefromavernalmood

Mayteachyoumoreofman—

Ofmoralevil,andofgood—

Thanallthesagescan."

CertainlyduringthisoneseasonofmylifeIdidfulljusticetothebeautiesofCentralPark.Therewasnotanookorcornerwherewildflowersunfolded,wherewhite-stemmedbirchesleanedoverstillwaters,oriviesclamberedovergrottoedrocks,whichIdidnotexplore;andwheninthewindingwalksof"theRamble" Icaughtdistant sightofawhitedrapery,orheard throughbuddingthickets thesilverysoundsof laughingand talking, IknewIwascomingonone of those pleasant surprises for which the Park grounds are so nicelyarranged.

SometimesEvawouldcomewithacarriagefullofchildren,andwiththegaylittlefairieswouldpassasunnyafternoon,swingingthem,watchingthemridinginthelittlegoat-carriages,orotherwisepresidingovertheirgaieties.Wehad,underthesecircumstances,alltheadvantageofatête-à-têtewithoutanyoftheresponsibilityofseekingorprolongingit.Infact,thepresenceofotherswasasalvotomyconscience,andtopublicappearance,for,lookingonEvaasengaged to another, I was very careful not to go over a certain line ofappearances in my relations to her. My reason told me that I was upondangerousgroundformyownpeace,butIquietedreasonasyoungmeninmycircumstancesgenerallydo,bythebestofarguments.

I said to myself that, "No matter if she were engaged, why shouldn't Iworshipathershrine,andcherishherunageasDantedidthatofBeatrice,andTassothatofEleanorad'Este?"andsoon.

"Tobesure,"Ireflected,"thisthingcannevercometoanything;ofcourseshenevercanbeanythingtoyoumorethanastarintheheavens.But,"Isaid

inreply,"sheisminetoworshipandadorewiththeworshipthatwegivetoallbeautiful things.She ismine as are fair flowers, and theblue skies, and thebrightsunshine,whichcheerandinspire."

Iwasconscious that Ihad inmyownmost sacred receptacleathome, alittlefairyglovethatshehaddropped,towhichIhadnoclaim;butIsaidtomyself,"Whenaleaffallsfromtherose,whoshallsaythatIshallnotgatheritup?"So,too,Ihadoneofthosewonderful,uselesslittlebitsoffairygossamer,whichEve'sdaughterscallapocket-handkerchief.IhadyetsolittlesenseofsinthatIstolethattoo,kepttheprecioustheftfoldedinmyprayer-book,andthought shewould never know it. I began to understand the efficacy that isascribedtoholyrelics,foritseemedtomethatifeveranydeadlytroubleortrialshouldcomeuponme,Iwouldlaytheselittlethingsuponmyheart,andtheywouldcomfortme.

Andyet,allthiswhile,IsolemnlytoldmyselfIwasnotinlove,—oh,no,notintheleast.Thiswasfriendship—theverycondensed,distilledessenceoffriendship,thatandnothingmore.Tobesureitwasfriendshipsettoaheroickey—friendshipofararequality.Ilongedtodosomethingforher,andoftenthought how glad Iwould be to givemy life for her.Having a very activeimagination, sometimes as I lay awake at night I perpetrated all sorts ofconfusionsinthecityofNewYork,forthesolepurposeofgivingmyselfanopportunity to do something for her. I set fire to the Van Arsdel mansionseveraltimes,indifferentways,and,rushingin,boreherthroughtheflames.Iinauguratedahorribleplotagainstthelifeofherfather,andrushinginatthecriticalmoment,deliveredtheoldgentlemanthatImightrevelinherdelight.Ibecame suddenly amillionaire by the death of a supposititious uncle in theEastIndies,andimmediatelyproceededtolayallmytreasuresatherfeet.

As forMr.WatSydney, it is incredible the resignationwithwhich I sawhim ship-wrecked, upset in stages, crushed in railroad accidents, while Iappearedon thesceneas theconsoling friend;not that Ihad,ofcourse,anypurpose of causing such catastrophes, but therewas a degree of resignationattendingtheviewofthemthatwassoothing.

IhadinmyheartaperfectcertaintythatSydneywasunworthyofher,butof course racks and thumbscrews should not draw from me the slightestintimationofthekind,inherpresence.

Somatters went on for some weeks. But sometimes it happens when ayoung fellowhas longwandered inabeautifuldreamof thiskind,a suddenandharshlightofrealityandofcommon-sense,every-daylife,isthrownuponhiminanunforeseenmoment;andthismomentatlastarrivedforme.

Oneevening,whenIdroppedinforacallattheVanArsdelmansion,theyoungladieswerealloutataconcert,butMrs.VanArsdelwasathome,and

forsomereason,unusuallyblandandmotherly.

"MydearMr.Henderson,"shesaid,"itisratherhardonyoutobeobligedto accept an old woman like me, as a substitute for youth and beauty; butreally, Iamnotsorry,on thewhole, that thegirlsareout, for Iwould likealittlechanceofhavingafree,confidentialtalkwithyou.Yourrelationswithushavebeensointimateandkindly,Ifeel,youknow,quiteasifyouwereoneofus."

I replied, of course, that 'I was extremely flattered and gratified by herkindness,'andassuredherwitheffusion,andifImistakenot,withtearsinmyeyes,that'shehadmademeforgetthatIwasastrangerinNewYork,andthatI shouldalwayscherish themostundying recollectionof thekindness that Ihadreceivedinherfamily,andofthepleasanthoursIhadspentthere.'

"Ah,yes, indeed!"shesaid,"Mr.Henderson, it ispleasant tometothinkthatyoufeelso.I liketogiveyoungmenahomefeeling.Butafterall,"shecontinued, "one feels a little pensive once in a while, in thinking that onecannotalwayskeepthehome-circleunbroken.Indeed,Inevercouldseehowsomemothers could seem to rejoice as they do in the engagement of theirdaughters.ThereisMrs.Elmore,now,herfeelingsareperfectlyinexplicabletome."

IassuredherthatIwasquiteofherwayofthinking,andagreedwithherperfectly.

"Now,"shesaid,"as the timecomeson,whenIbegin to thinkofpartingwith Eva, though to the very best man in the world, do you know, Mr.Henderson,itreallymakesmefeelsad?"

Ibeganatthismomenttofindthedriftoftheconversationbecomingveryembarrassinganddisagreeabletome,butImusteredmyenergiestokeepupmyshareinitwithabecomingdegreeofinterest.

"I am to understand, then," said I, forcing a smile, "that Miss Eva'sengagementwithMr.Sydneyisasettledfact?"

"Well,virtually so," she replied. "Eva isaverse to thepublicityofpublicannouncements;but—youknowhowitis,Mr.Henderson,therearerelationswhich amount to the same thing as an engagement."HereMrs.VanArsdelleanedbackonthesofaanddrewaletterfromherpocket,whilethewordsofmy part of the conversation did not seem to be forthcoming. I sat inembarrassedsilence.

"Thefactis,Mr.Henderson,"shesaid,settlingthediamondsandemeraldsonherwhite,shapelyfingers,"Ihavereceivedaletterto-dayfromMr.Sidney,—heisanoblefellow,"sheadded,withempressment.

I secretly wished the noble fellow at Kamtschatka, but I said, insympathetictones,"Ah,indeed?"asifwaitingforthefarthercommunication,whichIperceivedshewasdeterminedtobestowonme.

"Yes," she said, "he is coming toNewYork in a short time, and then, Isuppose,thereisnodoubtthatallwillbefinallyarranged.IconfesstoyouIhave theweakness to feela littledepressedabout it.Didyouever readJeanIngelow'sSongsofSeven,Mr.Henderson?Ithinkshetouchessobeautifullyonthetrialsofmothersingivinguptheirdaughters?"

Isaid,"IonlytrustthatMr.SydneyisinsomedegreeworthyofMissVanArsdel;though,"Iaddedwithwarmth,"nomancanbewhollyso."

"Eva is a goodgirl," saidMrs.VanArsdel, "and Imust confess that thepartingfromherwillbethegreatesttrialofmylife.ButIthoughtIwouldletyouknowhowmattersstood,becauseoftheverygreatconfidencewhichwefeelinyou."

I foundpresenceofmind toacknowledgepolitelymysenseof thehonorconferred.Mrs.VanArsdelcontinuedplayingprettilywithherrings.

"One thing more perhaps I ought to say, Mr. Henderson, while yourintimacy in our family is and has been quite what I desire, yet you knowpeoplearesoabsurd,andwillsaysuchabsurdthings,thatitmightnotbeoutofthewaytosuggestalittlecaution;youknowonewouldn'twanttogiverisetoanyreportsthatmightbeunpleasant—anything,youknow,thatmightreachMr.Sydney'sear—youunderstandme."

"MydearMrs.VanArsdel,isitpossiblethatanythinghasbeensaid?"

"Now, now, don't agitate yourself,Mr.Henderson; I knowwhat you aregoingtosay—no,nothingofthekind.Butyouknowthatweelderlypeople,whoknowtheworldandjustwhatstupidandunreasonablethingspeoplearealwayssaying,sometimeshavetogiveyouyoungfolksjusttheslightestlittlecaution. Your conduct in this family has been all that is honorable, andgentlemanly,andunexceptionable,Mr.Henderson,andsuchaswouldleadustoreposethemostperfectconfidenceinyou.Infact,IbegyoutoconsiderthiscommunicationwithregardtoEva'sconnectionwithMr.Sydney,asquite inconfidence."

"I certainly shall do so," said I, rising to takemy leave, withmuch thesamesortofeagernesswithwhichonerisesfromadentist'schair,afterhavinghisnervespickedat.Asatthismomentthevoicesofthereturningpartybrokeupourinterview,Iimmediatelyarose,andexcusingmyselfwiththepleaofanarticle to finish, left the house and walked home in a state of mind asdisagreeableasmyworstenemycouldhavewished.Likealldelicateadviserswhoareextremelyfearfulofhurtingyourfeelings,Mrs.VanArsdelhadtold

me nothing definite, and yet had said enough to make me supremelyuncomfortable.Whatdidshemean,andhowmuchdidshemean?Hadtherebeenreports?WasthistobereceivedasanintimationfromEvaherself?Hadshe discovered the state of my feelings, and was she, through her mother,warningmeofmydanger?

Allmylittleromanceseemeddisenchanted.Theseillusionsoflovearelikethe legendsof hidden treasures guardedbywatchful spiritswhichdisappearfromyouifyouspeakaword;orlikeanenchantingdream,whichvanishesifyou start and open your eyes. I tossed to and fro restlessly all night, andresolvedtodopreciselythemostirrationalthingthatIcouldhavedone,underthecircumstances,andthatwastogiveupgoingtotheVanArsdelhouse,andtoseeEvanomore.

Thenextmorning,however,showedmethatIcouldnotmakesostrikingachange inmyhabitswithout subjectingmyself to JimFellows' remarks andinquiry.Iresolvedonacourseofgradualemancipationanddetachment.

[EvaVanArsdeltoIsabelConvers.]

MyDearestBelle:—SinceIwrotetoyoulasttherehavebeenthestrangestchanges. I scarcely knowwhat to think.You remember I told you all aboutEasterEve,andacertainperson'sappearance,andaboutthestolengloveandall that.Your theory of accounting for all thiswas preciselymine; in fact Icouldthinkofnoother.And,Belle,ifIcouldonlyseeyouIcouldtellyouofathousandlittlethingsthatmakemecertainthathecaresformemorethaninthewayofmere friendship. I thought Icouldnotbemistaken in that.TherehasbeenscarcelyadaysinceouracquaintancebeganwhenIhavenotinsomewayseenhimorheardfromhim;youknowallthoseearlyservices,whenhewasasconstantas themorning,andalwayswalkedhomewithme; then,heandJimFellowsalwaysspendatleastoneeveninginaweekatourhouse,andthere are no end of accidental meetings. For example, when we take ourafternoondrivesatCentralParkwearesuretoseethemsittingonthebencheswatchingusgoby,anditcametobequitearegularthingwhenwestoppedthecarriageattheterraceandgotouttowalktofindthemthere,andthenAlicewouldgooffwith JimFellows, andMr.H.and Iwould strollupanddownamongthelilachedgesandinallthoselovelylittlenooksanddellsthataresocharming.I'mquitesureIneverexplored the treasuresof theParkasIhavethis Spring. We have rambled everywhere—up hill and down dale—itcertainlyistheloveliestandmostcompleteimitationofwildnaturethateverartperfected.Onecouldfancyone'sselfdeepinthecountryinsomepartsofit; far fromall the rushandwhirland frivolityof thisgreat,hot,dizzyNewYork.Youmayimaginethatwithallthiswehavehadopportunitytobecomeveryintimate.Hehastoldmeallabouthimself,allthehistoryofhislife,allabouthismother,andhishome;itseemshardlypossiblethatonefriendcould

speak more unreservedly to another, and I, dear Belle, have found myselfspeakingwithequal frankness tohim.Weknoweachother soperfectly thattherehasforalongtimeseemedtobeonlyathinimpalpablecob-webbarrierbetweenus;butyouknow,Belle,thatairyfilmybarrierissomethingthatonewouldnotbya lookoraworddisturb.ForweeksIhavefelteveryday thatsurelythenexttimewemeetallthismustcometoacrisis.Thathewouldsayinwordswhat he says in looks—in involuntary actions—what in fact I amperfectlysureof.TillhespeaksImustbeguarded. Imustholdmyselfbackfrom showing him the kindly interest I really feel. For I am proud, as youknow,Belle,andhavealwaysheldthelibertyofmyheartasasacredtreasure.IhavealwaysfeltasecrettriumphintheconsciousnessthatIdidnotcareforanybody,andthatmyhappinesswaswhollyinmyownhands,andImeantokeepitso.Ourfriendshipisapleasantthingenough,butIamnotgoingtoletitbecometoonecessary,youunderstand.Itisn'tthatIcaresoverymuch,butmycuriosity is reallyexcited toknowjustwhat the realstateof thecase is;onewants to investigate interesting phenomena you know.When I saw thatlittleglovemovementonEasterEve I confess I thought thegameall inmyownhands,andthatIcouldquietlywaittosay"checkmate"indueformanddue time; but after all nothing came of it; that is, nothing decisive; and IconfessIdidn'tknowwhattothink.SometimesIhavefanciedsomeobstacleor entanglement or commitment with some other woman—this CousinCaroline perhaps—but he talks about her to me in the most open andcomposed manner. Sometimes I fancy he has heard the report of myengagement toSydney.Ifhehas,whydoesn'theaskmeabout it?Ihavenoobjection to telling him, but I certainly shall not open the subject myself.Perhaps,asIdathinks,heisproudandpoorandnotwillingtobeasuitortoarichyounggood-for-nothing.Well,thatcan'tbehelped,hemustbeasuitorifhewinsme, for I shan't be; hemust askme, for I certainly shan't ask him,that'ssettled.Ifhewould"askmepretty,"now,whoknowswhatnicethingshemighthear?Iwouldtellhim,perhaps,howmuchmoreonetruenobleheartisworth inmy eyes than all thatWat Sydney has to give. Sometimes I amquiteprovokedwithhimthatheshould looksomuch,andyetsaynomore,and I feel a naughty wicked inclination to flirt with somebody else just tomakehimopenthose"grandsyeux"ofhisalittlewiderandtoalittlebetterpurpose.SometimesIbegintofeelatriflevindictiveandasifIshouldliketogivehimatouchoftheclaw.Theclaw,mydear,thelittlepearlyclawthatwewomen keep in reserve in the "patte de velours," our only andmost sacredweaponofdefense.

Theothernight,atMrs.Cerulean'ssalon,shewasholdingforthwithgreateffectonwoman'srighttocourtmen—asnaturalandindefeasible—andItoldherthatIconsideredourrighttobecourtedfarmorepreciousandinviolable.Ofcourse it is so.Theparty thatmakes theproposals is theparty thatmust

taketheriskofrefusal,andwhowouldwishtodothat?Itputsmeoutofallpatiencejusttothinkofit.Ifthereisanythingthatvexesmeitisthatamanshould ever feel sure that a woman's heart is at his disposal before he hasaskedforitprettilyandproperlyinalldueform,and,mydear,Ihavethefearofthisbeforemyeyes,eveninourmostintimatemoments.Heshallnotfeeltoosureofme.

WednesdayEvening.

MydearBelle,Ican'tthinkwhatintheworldisupnow;butsomethingorotherhashappenedtoacertainpersonthathaschangedallourrelations.FormorethanaweekIhavescarcelyseenhim.HecalledwithJimFellowsontheusualevening,butdidnotgointoIda'sroom,andhardlycamenearme,andseemed all in a flutter to leave all the time. He was at the great Elmorewedding,andsowasI,butwescarcelyspokealltheevening.Icouldseehimfollowingallmymotionsandwatchingmeatadistance,butassureasIcameintoaroomheseemedinaperfectflutter togetoutof it,andyetnosoonerhadhedonesothanhesecuredsomepositionwherehecouldobservemeatadistance.Iwasprovokedenough,andIthoughtifmylordwantedtoobserve,I'dgivehimsomething to see, so I flirtedwith JerroldLivingstone,whomIdon'tcareacopperabout,withinaninchofhislife,andImadeaspecialefforttobeagreeabletoallthedanglersandmoustachesthatIusuallytakedelightinsnubbing,andIcouldseethathelookedquitewretched,whichwasacomfort—butyethewouldn'tcomenearmetilljustasIwasgoingtoleave,whenhecametobegIwouldstaylongeranddeclaredthathehadn'tseenanythingofme.Itwasalittletoomuch!Iassumedaninnocentairandsurveyedhim"dehaut en bas" and said, "Why, dearme,Mr.Henderson, possible that you'vebeenhereallthistime?Wherehaveyoukeptyourself?"andthenIhandedmybouquet toLivingstone and swept by in triumph; his last look afterme as Iwentdownstairswas tragical,youmaybelieve.Well, Ican'tmakehimout,butIdon'tcare.Iwon'tcare.Hewasfreetocome.Heshallbefreetogo;butisn'titvexatiousthatincasesofthiskindonecannotputanendtothetragedybyasimplecommon-sensequestion?

Onedoesn't care soverymuch,youknow,what is thematterwith thesecreatures,onlyoneiscurioustoknowwhatuponearthmakesthemactso.Amansetsupafriendshipwithyou,andthenlooksandactsasifheadoredyou,asifheworshipedthegroundyoutreadon,andthenisoffatatangentwithatragedyair,andyouarenotallowedtosay"Mydearsir,whydoyoubehaveso?whydoyoumakesuchapreciousgooseofyourself?"

The fact is, these friendships ofwomenwithmen are all fol-de-rol.Thecreaturesalwayshaveanadvantageoveryou.Theycanmakeeveryadvanceandcomenearerandnearerandreallymakethemselvesquiteagreeable,nottosay necessary, and then suddenly change thewhole footing and one cannot

even ask why. One cannot say, as to another woman, "What is thematter?what has altered yourmanner?" She cannot even show that she notices thechange, without loss of self-respect. A woman in friendship with a man ismadeheartlessby thisverynecessity, shemustalwaysholdherself ready tochangehandsandmakeherchassétorightorleftwithallsuitableindifferencewheneverherpartnerisreadyforanothermoveinthecotillion.

Well,sobeit.IfancyIcandothisaswellasanother.Inevershallinquireinto his motives. I'm sorry for him, too, for he looked quite haggard andunhappy.Well; it'shisownfault; for ifhewouldonlybeopenwithmehe'dfindittohisadvantage—perhaps.

Youarequitemistaken,dear,inwhatyouhaveheardabouthisbelongingtothatradicalpartyofstrangecreatureswhorantandrageaboutprogressinour times. Like all generous, magnanimous men, who are conscious ofstrength, he sympathizes with the weak, and is a champion of womanwherever she iswronged;andcertainly inmany respects,wemustall admitwomenarewrongedbythelawsandcustomsofsociety.Butnomancouldbenicer in his sense of feminine delicacy andmore averse to associatingwithboldandunfemininewomenthanhe.Imustdefendhimthere.Iamsurethatnothing could bemore distasteful to him than the language and conduct ofmanyofthesedreadfulfemalereformersofourday.IfIamoutofsortswithhimImustatleastdohimthisjustice.

You inquire aboutAlice and JimFellows;mydear, there canbenothingthere.Theyareperfectlywellmatched;apairof flirts,andneither trusts theotheraninchfartherthantheycansee.Alicehasoneofthosecharactersthatlieinlayerslikethegeologicstratathatouroldprofessorusedtoshowus.Thetoplayerisallshow,anddisplayandambition;digdownbelowthatandyoufindawarmvolcanicsoilwherenobleplantsmightcast root.Butatpresentsheisall in theupperstratum.Shemusthaveherrunofflirtingandfashionandadventure,andjustnowasplendidmarriageisherideal,butsheiscapableofagreatdealinthedepthsofhernature.AllIhopeisshewillnotmarrytillshehasgotdownintoit,butsheisstartingunderfullsailnow,coquettingtorightandleft,makinggreatslaughter.

Shelookedmagnificentlyattheweddingandquiteoutshoneme.Shehasthat superbSpanish styleofbeautywhichpromises towearwell andbloomoutintomoresplendorastimegoeson,andshehasagoodheartwithallhernonsense.

Well, dear, what a long letter! and must I add to it the account of thewedding glories—lists of silver and gold tea sets, and sets of pearls anddiamonds? My dear, only fancy Tiffany's counters transferred bodily, withcardsfromA.,B.,andC.,presentingthisandthat;fancyalsotheyoungmen

ofyouracquaintancesilly-drunk,orstupid-drunkinthelatterpartofthenightin the supper-room; fancy, if you can, the bridegroom carried up stairs,becausehecouldn'tgouponhisownfeet!—this isawedding!Nevermind!the bride had three or four sets of diamond shoe-buckles, and rubies andemeraldsintheprofusionoftheArabianNights.Well,itwillbelongbeforeIcare for such awedding! I am sick of splendors, satedwith nick-nacks,mydollisstuffedwithsaw-dust,&c.,&c.,butIshalleverbeyourloving

Eva.

P.S.—MyDear—Acaseofconscience!—WoulditbeasintoflirtalittlewithSydney,justenoughtoaggravatesomebodyelse?Sydney's,youmind,isnotadeepheart-case.HeonlywantsmebecauseIamhardtocatch,andhavebeen the fashion. I'll warrant him against breaking his heart for anybody.However,Idon'tbelieveIwillflirtafterallI'll—trysomeothersquareofthechess-board.

TheconfidentialconversationheldwithmebyMrs.VanArsdelhadalltheeffect onmymental castle-building that a sudden blow had on Alnaschar'sbasketofglasswareintheArabiantales.

Nobodyisconscioushowfarhehasbeenindreamlandtillheisawakened.IwasnowfullyarousedtothefactthatIwasinlovewithEvaVanArsdel,toall intents and purposes, so much in love as made the nourishing andcherishing of an intimate friendship an impossibility, and only a speciouscloakforasortofmoraldishonesty.NowImighthaveknownthisfactinthebeginning, and I scolded and lectured myself for my own folly in notconfessingittomyselfbefore.Ihadbeenreceivedbythefamilyasafriend.Ihadbeentrustedwiththeirchieftreasure,withtheunderstandingthatitwastobelongnottomebutanother,andtherewasaspeciesofmoralindelicacytomymindinhavingsufferedmyselftobecomefascinatedbyherasInowfeltthat Iwas.But Ididnot feeladequate tocongratulatingheras thebetrothedbrideofanotherman;nay,more,whenIlookedbackonthekindofintimateandconfidential relations thathadbeengrowingupbetweenus, I couldnotbut feel that it was not safe for me to continue them. Two natures cannotexactlyaccord,cannotkeeptimeandtunetogether,withoutbeingconsciousofthefactandwithoutbecomingnecessarytoeachother;andsuchrelations intheirverynaturetendtogrowabsorbingandexclusive.ItwasplaintomethatifEvaweretomarryWatSydneyIcouldnotwithhonorandsafetycontinuethekindofintimacywehadbeensothoughtlesslyandsodelightfullyenjoyingforthepastfewweeks.

But how to break it off without an explanation, and how make thatexplanation?Thereisacertainresponsibilityrestingonamanofconscienceandhonor, about acceptingall thatnearnessof access, and that closenessof

intimacywhichtheignorantinnocenceofyounggirlsofteninvites.Fromhisvery nature, from his education, from his position in society, a youngmanknowsmoreofwhatthefullsignificanceandrequirementsofmarriagearetobethanayoungwomancan,andhemustknowthedangerofabsorbingandexclusive intimacy with other than a husband. The instincts of every manteach thatmarriagemust be engrossing andmonopolizing, that it implies aforsakingof allothers, andakeepinguntooneonly; andhowcould thatbewhen every taste and feeling, every idiosyncracy and individual peculiaritymadethesocietyofsomeotherpersonmoreagreeable?

Without undue personal vanity, amanwill surely knowwhen there is aspecialcongenialityofnaturebetweenhimselfandacertainwoman,andheisboundinconscienceandhonortolookaheadinallhisintimaciesandseewhatmustbetheinevitableresultofthemaccordingtothelawsofthehumanmind.BecauseIhadneglectedthiscaution,becauseIhadyieldedmyselfblindlytothe delicious enchantment of a new enthusiasm, I had now come to a placewhereIknewneitherhowtoadvancenorrecede.

I could not drop this intimacy, so dangerous to my peace and honor,withoutriskofoffending;toexplainwas,infact,tosolicit.Imightconfessall,castmyselfatherfeet—butsupposingsheshouldinclinetomercy—andwithawoman'suncalculatingdisinterestednessacceptmy love inplaceofwealthandstation,whatshouldIthendo?

HadIbeenpossessedofafortuneevenhalfequaltoMr.Sydney's;hadI,in fact, any settled and assumedposition tooffer, Iwouldhave avowedmyloveboldlyandsufferedhertodecide.ButIhadnoadvantagetostandon.Iwaspoor,andhadnothingtogivebutmyself;andwhatmanisvainenoughtothinkthatheis inhimselfenoughtomakeupforall thatmaybewantinginexternals?

Besides this, Eva was the daughter of a rich family, and an offer ofmarriagefrommemusthaveappearedtoalltheworldtheinterestedproposalof a fortune-hunter. Ofwhat avail would it be under such circumstances topleadthatIlovedherforherselfalone?Icouldfancytheshoutofincredulouslaughterwithwhichthesuggestionwouldbereceivedinthegayworld.

"Soverythoughtfulofthefair!

Itshowedatruefraternalcare.

Fivethousandguineasinherpurse—

Thefellowmighthavefanciedworse."

Now,iftherewasanythingthatmypriderevoltedfromasanimpossibility,itwascomingasapoorsuitortoagreatrichfamily.WereIevensurethatEva

lovedme,howcouldIdothat?Wouldnotalltheworldsaythattomakeuseofmyaccessinthefamilytodrawherdownfromasplendidpositioninlifetopovertyandobscuritywasonmypartadishonorableact?CouldItrustmyselfenoughtofeelthatitwasjusticetoher?

Thestrugglethatayoungmanhastoengageintosecureaself-supportingposition,isofakindtomakehimkeenlyalivetomaterialvalues.Dr.Franklinsaid,"Ifyouwouldlearnthevalueofmoney,trytoborrowsome."Iwouldsayrather, Try to earn some, and to live only onwhat you earn.My own hardexperienceonthissubjectledmetoreflectveryseriouslyontheresponsibilitywhichamanincursininducingawomanofrefinementandculturetolooktohimasherprovider.

In our advanced state of society there are a thousand absolute wantsdirectlycreatedbycultureandrefinement;andwhatevermaybesaidabouttheprimaryimportanceofpersonalaffectionandsympathyasthefoundationofahappymarriage,itisundoubtedlytruethatacertainamountofpecuniaryeaseand security is necessary as a background on which to develop agreeablequalities. Aman and womanmuch driven, care-worn, and overtaxed, oftenhavelittlethatisagreeabletoshowtoeachother.Iqueriedwithmyselfthen,whether, as Eva's true friend, I should not wish that she might marry arespectableman,devotedtoher,whocouldkeepherinall thateleganceandluxury shewas so fitted to adorn and enjoy; andwhether if I could do it, Ioughttotrytoputmyselfinhisplaceinhermind.

Amanwhodetectshimselfinanunfortunatepassionhasalwaystherefugeofhislife-object.Tothetrueman,thethingthathehopestodoalwaysofferssomecompensationforthethingheceasestoenjoy.

It was fortunate therefore for me, that just in this crisis of my life, myfriendship with Bolton opened before me the prospect of a permanentestablishmentinconnectionwiththeliterarypressofthetimes.

CHAPTERXXIX.

ANEWOPENING.

“Henderson,"saidBolton tome,oneday,"howlongareyouengagedontheDemocracy?"

"Onlyforthisyear,"saidI.

"Because,"saidhe,"IhavesomethingtoproposetoyouwhichIhopemayprove a better thing. Hestermann & Co. sent for me yesterday in secret

session. The headmanager of their whole set ofmagazines and papers hasresigned,andisgoingtotravelinEurope,andtheywantmetotaketheplace."

"Good!Iamheartilygladofit,"saidI."Ialwaysfeltthatyouwerenotinthepositionthatyououghttohave.Youwillaccept,ofcourse."

"WhetherIacceptornotdependsonyou,"hereplied.

"Icannotunderstand,"saidI.

"In short, then," saidhe, "the responsibility is aheavyone, and I cannotundertakeitwithoutapartnerwhomIcantrustasmyself—Imean,"headded,"whomIcantrustmorethanmyself."

"Youareathousandtimestoogood,"saidI."Ishouldlikenothingbetterthansuchapartnership,but I feeloppressedbyyourgoodopinion.AreyousurethatIamtheoneforyou?"

"IthinkIam,"saidhe,"anditisacasewhereIamthebestjudge;anditofferstoyoujustwhatyouwant—astableposition,independencetoexpressyourself,andagoodincome.Hestermann&Co.arerich,andwiseenoughtoknowthatliberalityisthebestpolicy."

"But,"saidI,"theiroffersaremadetoyou,andnottome."

"Well,ofcourse,theiracquaintancewithmeisofoldstanding;butIhavespoken to them of you, and I am to bring you round to talkwith them to-morrow;but,afterall,thewholepowerofarrangingisleftwithme.Theyputacertainsumatmydisposal,andIdowhatIpleasewithit.Inshort,"hesaid,smiling,"Iholdtheliving,andyouaremycurate.Well,"headded,"ofcourseyouneed time to thinkmatters over; here is paper onwhich I havemade alittlememorandumofanarrangementbetweenus;takeitanddreamonit,andletmeknowto-morrowwhatyouthinkofit."

Iwenttomyroomandunfoldedtheagreement,andfoundthetermsliberalbeyondallmyexpectations.Infact,theincomeoftheprincipalwasawardedtome,andthatofthesubordinatetoBolton.

I took thepaper thenextevening toBolton's room."Lookhere,Bolton,"saidI,"thesetermsaresimplyabsurd."

"Howso?"hesaid, liftinghiseyes tranquilly fromhisbook. "What's thematterwiththem?"

"Why,yougivemealltheincome."

"Wait till you seehow I'llworkyou,"he said, smiling. "I'll get it out ofyou;youseeifIdon't."

"Butyouleaveyourselfnothing."

"IhaveasmuchasIwouldhave,and that'senough.I'ma literarymonk,youknow,withno familybutPussandStumpy,poor fellow,and Ineed theless."

Stumpyuponthisprickeduphisraggedearswithanexpressionoflivelysatisfaction,satbackonhishaunches,andrappedthefloorwithhisforlornbitofatail.

"PoorStumpy," saidBolton, "you don't know that you are the homeliestdoginNewYork,doyou?Well,asfarasyougo,youareperfectgoodness,Stumpy,thoughyouarenobeauty."

Uponthishighpraise,Stumpyseemedsoelatedthathestoodonhishindpawsandrestedhisroughfore-feetonBolton'sknee,andlookedupwitheyesofadmiration.

"Manisthedog'sGod,"saidBolton."Ican'tconceivehowanymancanberudetohisdog.Adog,"headded,fondlinghisraggedcur,"why,he'snothingbutorganized love—loveon four feet, encased in fur, and lookingpiteouslyout at the eyes—love that would die for you, yet cannot speak—that's thetouching part. Stumpy longs to speak; his poor dog's breast heaves withsomethinghelongstotellmeandcan't.Don'tit,Stumpy?"

As if he understood his master, Stumpy wheezed a doleful whine, andactualtearsstoodinhiseyes.

"Well,"saidBolton,"Stumpyhasbeautifuleyes;nobodyshalldenythat—there, there! poor fellow, maybe on the other shore your rough bark willdevelopintospeech;let'shopeso.IconfessI'mofthepoorIndian'smind,andhope tomeetmy dog in the hereafter.Why should somuch love go out innothing? Yes, Stumpy, we'll meet in the resurrection, won't we?" Stumpybarkedaloudwiththegreatestanimation.

"Bolton,youought tobea familyman," said I. "Whydoyou take it forgrantedthatyouaretobea literarymonk,andspendyourloveondogsandcats?"

"You may get married, Hal, and I'll adopt your children," said Bolton;"that'sone reasonwhyIwant toestablishyou.Yousee,one'sdogswilldie,anditbreaksone'sheart.Ifyouhadaboy,now,I'dinvestinhim."

"Andwhycan'tyouinvestinaboyofyourown?"

"Oh,I'mapredestinedoldbachelor."

"No such thing," Ipersisted,hardily, "Whydoyou immureyourself in aden?Whywon'tyougooutintosociety?Here,eversinceI'veknownyou,youhavebeeninthisonecave—aNewYorkhermit;yetifyouwouldoncebegintogointosociety,you'dlikeit."

"YouthinkIhaven'ttriedit;youforgetthatIamsomeyearsolderthanyouare,"saidBolton.

"Youareagood-lookingyoungfellowyet,"saidI,"andoughttomakethemostofyourself.Whyshouldyouturnalltheadvantagesintomyhands,andkeepsolittleforyourself?"

"Itsuitsme,"saidBolton;"Iamlazy—Imeantogettheworkoutofyou."

"That'sallhum,"saidI;"youknowwellenoughthatyouarenotlazy;youtakedelightinworkforwork'ssake."

"One reason I am glad of this position," he said, "is that it gives me achance tomanagematters a little, as Iwant them. For instance, there's JimFellows—IwanttomakesomethingmorethanamadBohemianofthatboy.Jim isoneof thewildgrowthsofourNewYork life;he isacreatureof theimpulsesandthesenses,andwillbeforgoodorevilaccordingasothersusehim."

"He'scapitalcompany,"saidI,"buthedoesn'tseemtometohaveaseriousthoughtonanysubject."

"Andyet,"saidBolton,"suchisourdayandtime,thatJimismorelikelythan you or I to get along in the world. His cap and bells win favoreverywhere,andthelaughheraisesgiveshimtheprivilegeofsayinganythinghepleases.Formypart,Icouldn'tlivewithoutJim.Ihaveaweaknessforhim.Nothingissoprecioustomeasalaugh,and,wetordry,IcanalwaysgetthatoutofJim.He'llworkinadmirablywithus."

"OnethingmustbesaidforJim,"saidI,"withallhiskeennesshe'skind-hearted.Heneveriswittyattheexpenseofrealtrouble.Ashesays,hegoesfor the under dog in the fight always, and his cheery, frisky, hit-or-missmoralitydoesmanyakindturnfortheunfortunate,whileheisalwaysreadytohelpthepoor."

"Jim isnotof thesort that isgoing todo theworld's thinking for them,"said Bolton; "neither will he ever be one of the noble army ofmartyrs forprinciple.Heislikealively,sympathetichorsethatwillkeepthestepoftheteamhe isharnessed in,and in thedepartmentof livelynonsensehe'ddousyeoman service. Nowadays people must have truth whipped up to a whitefrothortheywon'ttouchit.Jimisacapitalegg-beater."

"Yes,"saidI;"he'slikethehorsethathadtheGOinhim;he'llrunanyteamthathe'sharnessedin,andifyouholdthereinshewon'trunoffthecourse."

"Thenagain,"saidBolton,"there'syourcousin; there is theeditorshipofourweeklyjournalwillbejusttheplaceforher.Youcanwriteandofferittoher."

"Pardonme,"saidI,maliciously,"sinceyouareacquaintedwiththelady,whynotwriteandofferityourself?Itwouldbeagoodchancetorenewyouracquaintance."

Bolton'scountenancechanged,andheremainedamomentsilent.

"Henderson,"hesaid,"thereareverypainfulcircumstancesconnectedwithmy acquaintance with your cousin. I never wish tomeet her, or renewmyacquaintancewithher.SometimeIwilltellyouwhy,"headded.

ThenexteveningIfoundonmytablethefollowingletterfromBolton:

Dear Henderson:—You need feel no hesitancy about accepting in fullevery advantage in the position I propose to you, since you may find itweightedwithdisadvantagesandincumbrancesyoudonotdreamof.Inshort,Ishallaskofyouservicesforwhichnomoneycanpay,and till Iknewyoutherewas noman in theworld ofwhom I had dared to ask them. Iwant afriend,courageous,calm,andtrue,capableofthinkingbroadlyandjustly,onesuperiortoordinaryprejudices,whomaybetomeanother,andinsomehoursastronger,self.

I can fancy your surprise at this language, and yet I have not read youarightifyouarenotoneofathousandonwhomImayrestthishope.

Youoften rallymeonmy lackofenterpriseandambition,onmyhermithabits. The truth is, Henderson, I am a strained and unseaworthy craft, forwhomtheharborandshorearethesafestquarters.Ihavelosttrustinmyself,anddarenotputouttoseawithoutfeelingthestronghandofafriendwithme.

Isupposenoyoungfelloweverenteredthecourseoflifewithmoreself-confidence.Ihadsplendidhealth,highspirits,greatpowerofapplication,andgreat social powers. I lived freely and carelessly on the abundance of myphysical resources. I could ride, and row, andwrestlewith the best. I couldleadinallsocialgaieties,yetkeeptheheadofmyclass,asIdidthefirsttwoyears of my college life. It seems hardly fair to us human beings that weshouldbesobuoyedupwithignoranthopeandconfidenceinthebeginningofourlife,andthatweshouldbeleft inourignorancetomakemistakeswhichnoafteryearscanretrieve.IthoughtIwasperfectlysureofmyself;Ithoughtmyhealthandstrengthwereinexhaustible,andthatIcouldcarryweightsthatno man else could. The drain of my wide-awake exhausting life upon mynervoussystemImadeupbytheinsidioususeofstimulants.Iwaslikeamanhabitually overdrawing his capital, and ignorant towhat extent. Inmy thirdcollege year this began to tell perceptibly onmy nerves. I was losing self-control,losingmywayinlife;Iwasexcitable,irritable,impatientofguidanceor reproof, and at times horribly depressed. I sought refuge from thisdepressioninsocialexhilaration,andhavinglostcontrolofmyselfbecamea

marked man among the college authorities; in short, I was overtaken in aconvivialrow,broughtundercollegediscipline,andsuspended.

ItwasatthistimethatIwentintoyourneighborhoodtostudyandteach.Ifoundnodifficulty ingetting thehighest recommendationsas to scholarshipfromsomeofthecollegeofficerswhowereforgivingmeachancetorecovermyself; and for the rest Iwas thoroughly sobered anddeterminedon anewcourse. Here commenced my acquaintance with your cousin, and therefollowedafewmonthsrememberedeversinceasthepuresthappinessofmylife.I lovedherwithall therewasinme,—heart,soul,mindandstrength,—witha lovewhichcanneverdie.Shealso lovedme,moreperhaps than shedaredtosay,forshewasyoung,hardlycometofullconsciousnessofherself.Shewasthenscarcelysixteen,ignorantofherownnature,ignorantoflife,andalmostfrightenedat the intensityof thefeelingwhichsheexcitedinme,yetshe loved me. But before we could arrive at anything like a calmunderstanding,herfathercamebetweenus.HewasatrusteeoftheAcademy,and a dispute arose between him and me in which he treated me with anoverbearinghaughtinesswhicharousedthespiritofoppositioninme.IwasintherightandknewIwas,andIdefendedmycoursebeforetheothertrusteesinamannerwhichwon themover tomywayof thinking—avictorywhichheneverforgave.

PreviouslytothisencounterIhadbeeninthehabitofvisitinginhisfamilyquiteintimately.CarolineandIenjoyedthatkindofunwatchedfreedomwhichthe customs ofNewEngland allow to young people. I always attended herhomefromthesinging-schoolandtheweeklylectures,andtheeveningaftermyencounterwiththetrusteesIdidthesame.Atthedoorofhishousehemetus,andasCarolinepassedinhestoppedme,andbrieflysayingthatmyvisitsthere would no longer be permitted, closed the door in my face. I tried toobtainaninterviewsoonafter,whenhesternlyupbraidedmeasonethathadstolenintothevillageandwontheirconfidenceonfalsepretences,addingthatifheand the trusteeshadknown the fullhistoryofmycollege life I shouldnever have been permitted to teach in their village or have access to theirfamilies.Itwasinvaintoattemptadefensetoamandeterminedtotaketheveryworstviewof factswhich Ididnotpretend todeny. I knew that I hadbeenirreproachableastomyrecordintheschool, thatIhadbeenfaithful inmyduties,thatthemajorityofparentsandpupilswereonmyside;butIcouldnotdenytheharshfactswhichhehadbeenenabledtoobtainfromsomesecretenemy,andwhichhethoughtjustifiedhiminsayingthathewouldratherseehisdaughterinhergravethantoseehermywife.ThenextdayCarolinedidnotappearinschool.Herfather,withpromptenergy,tookherimmediatelytoanacademyfiftymilesaway.

I did not attempt to follow her or write to her; a profound sense of

discouragementcameoverme,andIlookedonmyacquaintancewithherwithasortof remorse.The truthbitterly toldbyanenemywithavividpowerofstatement is a tonic oftentimes too strong for one's power of endurance. Inever reflected so seriously on the responsibility which a man assumes, inawakeningtheslumberingfeelingsofawoman,andfixing themonhimself.UnderthereproachesofCaroline'sfatherIcouldbutregardthisasawrongIhad done, and which could be expiated only by leaving her to peace inforgetfulness.

I resolved that Iwouldnever let herhear frommeagain, till I had fullyprovedmyselftobepossessedofsuchpowersofself-controlaswouldwarrantmeinofferingtobetheguardianofherhappiness.

ButwhenIsetmyselftothework,Ifoundwhatmanyanotherdoes,thatIhadreckonedwithoutmyhost.Themanwhohasbeguntoliveandworkbyartificial stimulant,neverknowswherehe stands, andcannevercountuponhimselfwithanycertainty.Heletsintohiscastleaservantwhobecomesthemost tyrannical of masters. He may resolve to turn him out, but will findhimselfreducedtotheconditioninwhichhecanneitherdowithnorwithouthim.

In short, the use of stimulant to the brain-power brings on a disease, inwhose paroxysms aman is nomore his ownmaster than in the ravings offever, a disease that few have the knowledge to understand, and for whosemanifestationstheworldhasnopity.

Icannottellyouthediredespairthatcameuponme,whenafterrepeatedfalls, bringing remorse and self-upbraiding tome, anddrawinguponme theseverestreproachesofmyfriends,theideaatlastflasheduponmethatIhadindeedbecomethevictimofasortofperiodicalinsanityinwhichthepowerofthewillwasoverwhelmedbyawildunreasoningimpulse.IrememberwhenaboyreadinganaccountofabridalpartysailinggailyonthecoastofNorwaywho were insidiously drawn into the resistless outer whirl of the greatMaelström.Thehorrorofthesituationwasthemomentwhentheshipmasterlearned that the ship no longer obeyed the rudder; the cruelty of itwas thegradualmanner inwhich the resistlessdoomcameupon them.The sun stillshone,theskywasstillblue.Theshore,withitsgreentreesandfreebirdsandbloomingflowers,wasnearandvisibleastheywentroundandroundindizzywhirls,pastthechurchwithitspeacefulspire,pastthehomecottages,pastthedwellingoffriendsandneighbors,pastparents,brothers,andsisterswhostoodon the shore warning and shrieking and entreating; helpless, hopeless, withbitternessintheirsouls,withallthatmadelifelovelysonearinsight,andyetcutofffromitbytheswirlofthattremendousfate!

Therehavebeenjustsuchhourstome,inwhichIhaveseenthehopesof

manhood,theloveofwoman,thepossessionofahome,theopportunitiesforacquisitionofname,andposition,andproperty,allwithinsight,withingrasp,yet allmade impossible bymy knowledge and consciousness of the deadlydriftandsuctionofthatinvisiblewhirlpool.

Themoreofmanlinessthereyetisleftinmaninthesecircumstances,themore torture. Themore sense of honor, love of reputation, love of friends,conscienceinduty,themoreanguish.Ireadonceafrightfulstoryofawomanwhoserighthandwaschangedtoaserpent,whichatintervalswasrousedtofiendish activity and demanded of her the blood of her nearest and dearestfriends. The hideous curse was inappeasable, and the doomed victim spell-bound, powerless to resist.Even so themanwhohas lost the control of hiswill is driven to torture those he loves, while he shivers with horror andanguishatthesight.

IhaveseenthetimewhenIgaveearnestthanksthatnowomanlovedme,thatIhadnopowertopoisonthelifeofawifewiththefear,andterror,andlingeringagonyofwatchingtheslowfulfillmentofsuchadoom.

It is enough to say that with every advantage—of friends, patronage,position—Ilostall.

Theworld isexigéant. Itdemandsaboveeverything thateverymanshallkeepstep.Hewhocannot,fallstotherear,andisgraduallyleftbehindasthearmymoveson.

Theonlyprofessionlefttomewasonewhichcouldavailitselfofmylucidintervals.

Thepowerofclothingthoughtwithlanguageisinourdaygrowingtobeaspeciesoftalentforwhichmenarewillingtopay,andIhavebeenablebythistomakemyselfanameandaplaceintheworld;andwhatismore,Ihopetodosomegoodinit.

Ihavereflecteduponmyowntemptation,endeavoringtodivestmyselfofthe horrorwithwhichmy sense of the suffering and disappointment I havecausedmy friends inspiresme. I have settled inmyownmind the limits ofhumanresponsibilityonthissubject,andhavecometotheconclusionthatitisto be regarded precisely as Mary Lamb and Charles Lamb regarded theincursion of themaniawhich destroyed the peace of their life.Amanwhoundertakestocomprehend,andcurehimself,hastofighthiswaybackalone.Nobodyunderstands,nobodysympathizeswithhim,nobodyhelpshim—notbecause theworld is unfeeling, but because it is ignorant of the lawswhichgovernthisspeciesofinsanity.

Ittookme,therefore,agreatwhiletoformmysystemofself-cure.Istillhope for this. I, the sane and sound, I hope to provide for the insane and

unsound intervals ofmy life. Andmy theory is, briefly, a total and eternalrelinquishmentof thepoisonousinfluence,sothatnaturemayhavepowertoorganizenewandhealthybrain-matter,andtoremovethatwhichisdiseased.Nature will do this, in the end, for she is ever merciful; there is always"forgivenesswithher,thatshemaybefeared."Sinceyouhaveknownme,youhaveseenthatIlivethelifeofananchorite—thatmyhoursareregular,thatIavoidexcitingsociety,thatIlaborwithuniformity,andthatInevertouchanystimulatingdrink.Itisapeculiarityofcaseslikeminethatforlengthsoftimethemorbiddiseaseleavesus,andwefeeltheutmostaversiontoanythingofthekind.Butthereisalwaysadangerlyingbehindthissubtlecalm.Threeorfourdropsofalcohol,suchasformthebasisofatincturewhichadoctorwillorder without scruple, will bring back the madness. One five-minutesinadvertencewillupsetthepainfulworkofyears,andcarryoneawayaswithaflood.WhenIdidnotknowthis,Iwasconstantlyfalling.Societythroughallits parts is full of traps and pitfalls for such as I, and the only refuge is inflight.

Ithasbeenpartofmy ruleof life toavoidall responsibilities thatmightinvolveothersinmyliabilitytofailure.ItisnowaverylongtimesinceIhavefeltanyabnormalsymptoms,andifIhadnotsooftenbeenthrowndownaftersuchaperiodofapparentcalm,Imightfancymydangersover,andmyselfasoundman.

TheyoungerHestermannwasaclass-mateandchumofmine incollege,andonewhosefriendshipformehasheldonthroughthickandthin.Hehasatrust inmethat imposesonmeapainfulsenseofresponsibility. Iwouldnotfailhimforathousandworlds,yetifoneofmyhoursofdarknessshouldcomeIshouldfailignominiously.

Onlyonemotivedeterminedmetotaketheiroffer—itgavemeachancetoprovideforyouandforCaroline.

Idaredo itonly through trustingyoufora friendshipbeyond thatof thecommon;inshort, forabrotherlykindnesssuchasCharlesLambshowedtoMary,hissister.Ifthecursereturnsuponme,youmustnotletmeruinmyselfandyou;youmusttakemetoanasylumtillIrecover.

Inaskingthisofyou,Iamgladtobeabletoofferwhatwillbetoyouanindependent position, and give you that home and firesidewhich Imay notdaretohopeformyself.

In the end, I expect to conquer, either here or hereafter. I believe in theFatherhood of God, and that He has a purpose even in letting us blindlystumblethroughlifeaswedo;andthroughallmyweaknessandunworthinessI still hold his hand. I know that the whole temptation is one of brain andnerves,andwhenHechoosesHecanreleaseme.Thepoorbrainwillbecold

andstillforgoodandallsomeday,andIshallbefreeandabletosee,Itrust,whyIhavebeensufferedthustostruggle.Afterall,immortalityopensalargehope,thatmayoverpaythemostunspeakablebitternessoflife.

Meanwhile, you can seewhy I do notwish to be brought into personalrelationswiththeonlywomanIhaveeverloved,orevercanlove,andwhosehappinessIfeartoputinperil.Itisanunspeakabledelightandrelieftohavethispowerofdoingforher,butshemustnotknowofit.

Also,letmetellyouthatyouaretomemoretransparentthanyouthink.Itrequiresonlythepenetrationoffriendshiptoseethatyouareinlove,andthatyou hesitate and hang back because of an unwillingness to match yourfortuneswithhers.

Letme suggest, do you not owe it as amatter of justice, after somuchintimacyashasexisted,togivehertheopportunitytochoosebetweenamanandcircumstances? If thearrangementbetweenusgoes intoeffect,youwillhaveadefinitepositionandasettledincome.Gotoherlikeamanandlayitbeforeher,andifsheisworthyofyoushewillcometoyou.

"Heeitherdreadshisfatetoomuch,

Orhisdesertissmall,

Whofearstoputittothetouch,

Towinorloseitall."

Godgrantyouahomeandfireside,Harry,andIwillbetheindulgentuncleinthechimney-corner.

Yoursever,

Bolton.

CHAPTERXXX.

PERTURBATIONS.

Scene.—Ida's Study—Ida busymaking notes from a book—Eva sittingby,embroidering.

Eva—"Heigho!howstupidthingsare.Iamtiredofeverything.Iamtiredof shopping—tired of parties—tired of New York—where the same thingkeepshappeningoverandover.IwishIwasaman.I'djusttakemycarpet-bagandgotoEurope.Comenow,Ida,praystopthat,andtalktome,do!"

Ida,puttingdownherbookandpen:

"Well—andwhatabout?"

"Oh,youknow!—thisinextricablepuzzle—whatdoesailacertainperson?Nowhedidn'tcomeatalllastnight,andwhenIaskedJimFellowswherehisfriendwas (onemustpass thecomplimentof inquiring,youknow),he said,'Hendersonhadgrowndumpylately,'andhecouldn'tgethimoutanywhere."

"Well,Eva,I'msureIcan'tthrowanylightonthesubject.Iknownomorethanyou."

"Now,Ida, letmetellyou, thisafternoonwhenwestoppedin thepark,Iwent into that great rustic arbor on the top of the hill there, and just aswecameinononeside,Isawhiminallhastehurryingoutontheother,asifhewereafraidtomeetme."

"Howveryodd!"

"Odd! Well, I should think it was; but what was worse, he went andstationedhimselfonabenchunderatreewherehecouldhearandseeus,andtheremylordsat—perhapshethoughtIdidn'tseehim,butIdid.

"Lillie and Belle Forrester andWat Jerroldwerewithme, andwewerehavingsuchalaugh!Idon'tknowwhenIhavehadsuchafrolic,andhowsillyitwasofhimtosittheregloweringlikeanowlinanivybush,whenhemighthavecomeoutandjoinedus,andhadagoodtime!I'mquiteoutofpatiencewiththecreature,it'ssovexatioustohavehimactso!"

"It is vexatious, darling, but then as you can't do anything about itwhythinkofit?"

"Because Ican'thelp it.Canyouhavea real friendship forapersonandenjoy his society, and not care in the least whether you have it or not? Ofcourseyoucan't.Wewerefriends—quitegoodfriends,andI'mnotashamedtosayImisshim,verymuch,andthentohavesuchanunaccountablemysteryaboutit.Ishouldthinkyou'dmisshimtoo."

"Idosomewhat,"saidIda,"butthenyouseeIhavesomuchmoretothinkof.Ihavemyregularworkeverydayforpapa,andIhavemyplanofstudy,andtosaythetruth,sofarasIamconcerned,thoughIlikedMr.Hendersonverymuch,yetIdon'tmisshim."

"Well,Ida,nowIwanttoaskyou,didn'tyouthinkheactedasif——"

"Asifhewereinlovewithyou,youwouldsay."

"Well—yes."

"Hecertainlydid,ifIamanyjudgeofsymptoms;butthen,dear,menare

ofteninlovewithwomentheydon'tmeantomarry."

"Whowantstomarryhim,Ishouldliketoknow?I'mnotthinkingofthat."

"Well, then,Eva, perhapshehasdiscovered that hewants tomarryyou;and,perhaps,forsomereasonheregardsthatasimpossible,andsoisgoingtotrytokeepaway."

"Howperfectlyhatefulandstupidofhim!I'dratherneverhaveseenhim."

"Amangenerallyhasthisadvantageoverawomaninamatterofthissort,thathehasanobject inlifewhichismoretohimthananythingelse,andhecanfillhiswholemindwiththat."

"Well,Ida,that'sallverytrue,butwhatobjectinlifecanagirlhavewholives as we do; who has everything she can want without an effort—I forinstance."

"ButIhaveanobject."

"Yes, I know you have, but I am different from you. It would be asimpossibleformetodoasyoudo,asforafishtowalkuprightondryland."

"Well, Eva, this objectless, rootless, floating kind of life that you andalmostallgirlslead,isatthebottomofnearlyallyourtroubles.Literallyandtruly you have nothing in the world to do but to amuse yourselves; theconsequenceisthatyousoongettiredofalmosteverykindofamusement,andsoevery friendship,and flirtationassumesadisproportioned interest inyourminds.ThereisrealdangernowthatyoumaythinktoomuchofMr."——

"Oh,stuffandnonsense,Ida!Iwon't,sothere!I'llputhimoutofmyheadforthwithandboltthedoor.Givemeagoodstiffdoseofreading,Ida;oneofyourdullestscientificbooks,andgetmetowriteyouananalysisofitaswedidatschool.Here,letmesee,'DescentofMan.'Come,now,I'llsitdownandgoatit."

Evasitsdownwithbook,pencilandpaper,andturnsovertheleaves.

"Let's try how it looks. 'Sexual Selection'! Oh, horrid! 'Her Ape-likeProportions'!Ishouldbeashamedtotalksoaboutmyancestors.Apes!—ofallthings—whynotsomemorerespectableanimal?lionsorhorses,forexample.YourememberSwift'sstoryaboutthehouyhnhums.Isn'tthisadreadfullydullbook,Ida?"

"No, I don't find it so. I am deeply interested in it, though I admit it isprettyheavy."

"But,then,Ida,youseeitgoesagainsttheBible,doesn'tit?"

"NotnecessarilyasIsee."

"Why, yes; to be sure. I haven't read it; butMr.Hendersongaveme theclearestkindofasketchoftheargument,andthatisthewayitimpressedme.ThattobesureisamongthethingsIprincipallyvaluehimfor;heismymilk-skimmer;hegetsallthecreamthatrisesonabookandpresentsittomeinaportable form. I rememberoneof thevery last reallycomfortable long talkswehad; itwas on this subject, and I told him that it seemed tome that themoderntheoryandtheBiblewerepointblankopposites.Insteadofmenbeingafallenrace,theyarearisingrace,andneversohighasnow;andthen,whatbecomesof theGardenofEden, andSt.Paul?Now, formypart, I toldMr.HendersonIwasn'tgoingtogiveupallthesplendidpoetryofMiltonandtheBible,justbecauseMr.Darwintookitintohisheadthatitwasnotimprobablethatmyseventyfifthmillionthgrandfathermighthavebeenabigbaboonwithgreennoseandpointedears!"

"MydearEva, you have capital reasons for believing and not believing.Youbelievewhatseemsmostagreeableandpoetic."

"Exactly,Ida;andinthosefar-offregions,sixteenmillionbillionagesago,whyshouldn'tI?Nobodyknowswhathappenedthere;nobodyhasbeentheretoseewhatmadethefirstparticleofjellytaketoliving,andturnintoagermcell,andthengoworkingonlikeyeast,tillitworkedoutintoallthethingswesee.IthinkitagooddealeasiertobelievetheGardenofEdenstory,especiallyasthatisprettyandpoetical,andisinthedearoldBookthatissosweetandcomfortabletous;butthenMr.HendersoninsiststhatevenifwedoholdtheEvolution theory, theoldbookwillbeno less true. Ineversawamanofsomuchthoughtwhohadsomuchreverence."

"IthoughtyouweregoingtostudyDarwinandnotthinkofhim,"saidIda.

"Well,somehow,almosteverythingputsmeinmindofhim,becausewehave had such long talks about everything; and, Ida, to tell the truth, I dobelieveIamintellectuallylazy.Idon'tlikeroughhardwork,Ilikepolishingandfurbishing.Now,Iwantamantogothroughallthisrough,hard,stupid,disagreeablelabyrinthofscientificterms,andpickoutthemeaningandputitintoa few,plainwords, and then I take it andbrighten itupandputon therainbows.Lookhere,now,thinkofmyhavingtoscrabblethroughaboglikethisinthe"OriginoftheSpecies":

"'In Carthamus and some other compositæ the central achenes alone arefurnished with a pappus; and in Hyoseris the same head yields achenes ofthreedifferent forms. IncertainUmbelliferæ theexteriorseeds,according toTanch, are orthospermous, and the central one cœlospermous, and thisdifference has been considered byDeCandolle as of the highest systematicimportanceinthefamily.'

"NowallthisisjustasunintelligibletomeasifitwerewritteninChoctaw.

Idon'tknowenoughtoknowwhatitmeans,andI'mafraidIdon'tcareenoughtoknow.Iwant toknowtheupshotof thewhole ingoodplainEnglish,andthenseewhetherIcanbelieveitornot;andisn'titashamethatthingsaresothatonecannothaveasensiblemantobeone'sguide,philosopherandfriend,without thiseverlastingmarriagequestioncomingup?Ifawomanmakesaneffort to get or keep a valuable friend, she is supposed to be intriguing andmaking unfeminine efforts for a husband. Now this poor man is perfectlywretched about something—for I can see he has really goneoff shockingly,and looks thinandhaggard,andIcan't justwritehimanoteandaskhimtocome and finish his resumé of Darwin for me, without going over theboundaries;andtheworstofitis,itisIwhosettheselimits;—Imyselfwhoamaworldtooproudtosaythefirstwordorgivetheslightestindicationthathisabsenceisn'tquiteasagreeableashispresence."

"Well,Eva,Icanwriteanoteandrequesthimtocallandseeme,"saidIda,"andifyoulike,Iwill.Ihavenosortoffearwhathewillthinkofme."

"Iwouldnothaveyoufortheworld.Itwouldlooklikeanadvanceonourpart—no indeed.Thesecreaturesare soconceited, if theyonce findout thatyoucan'tdowithoutthem——"

"IneverobservedanysignsofconceitinMr.Henderson."

"Well,Ihavemadeitanobjecttokeephimalittlehumble,sofarashissexwillpermit,yousee.But seriously, Ida, isnot it curiousabout thismarriagematter?Everybodysaysit'swhatwearemadefor,allthenovelsendwithit,allthepoemsareaboutit,youarehearingaboutitinonewayorotherallthetime;andyetallthiswhileyouaresupposednottocareanythingaboutitonewayortheother.Ifamanbeeversoagreeabletoyou,anddoeversomuchtomakeyoulikehim,youmustpretendthatyouarequiteindifferenttohim,anddon'tcarewhetherhecomesorgoes,untilsuchtimeashechoosestolaunchthetremendousquestionatyou."

"Well,"saidIda,"Iadmitthatthereisjustthisabsurdityinourlife:butIavoiditallbyfirmlylayingaplanofmyown,andhavingabusinessofmyown.Tomemarriagewouldbeaninterruption;itwouldrequireabreakingupand reconstruction of my whole plan, and of course I really think nothingaboutit."

"Butareyoufirmlyresolvednevertomarry?"

"No;butnever,unlessIfindsomeonemoretomethanallonwhichIhavesetmyheart.Idonotneeditformyhappiness.Iamsufficienttomyself;andbesidesIhaveanobjectIhopetoattain,andthatistoopenawaybywhichmanyotherwomenshallsecureindependenceandcomfortandease."

"Dearyme,Ida,IwishIwerelikeyou:butI'mnot.Itseemstomethatthe

only way to give most girls any concentration or object is to marry them.Then, somehow, things seem to arrange themselves, and, at all events, theworldstopstalkingaboutyou,andwonderingwhatyouaregoingtodo;theygetyouoff theirminds.That Idobelievewas the reasonwhyatone time Icame so near drifting into that affair withWat Sydney. AuntMaria was sovigorouswithmeandtalkedinsuchacommandingmanner,andwithsomany'ofcourses,' that I reallybegan to thinkIwasoneof the 'ofcourses'myself;but my acquaintance with Mr. Henderson has shown me that it would beintolerabletolivewithamanthatyoucouldn'ttalkwithabouteverythingthatcomesintoyourhead;andnowIcan't talkwithhim,andIwon'tmarryWatSydney;andsowhatistobedone?ShallIgotoStewart'sandbuymeanewsuitofWillowGreen,orgirduptheloinsofmymindandgothroughDarwinlikeaman,andlookoutallthetermsinthedictionaryandcomeouttheothersideastrongmindedfemale?orshallIgoandjointheSistersofSt.John,andwear a greatwhite cape andgraygown, andhave all theworld say I did itbecauseIcouldn'tgetWatSydney(forthat'sexactlywhattheywouldsay),orwhat shall I do? The trouble is, mamma and Aunt Maria with theirexpectations.It'smuchasmammacandotosurviveyourcourse,andifItaketo having a 'purpose' too, I don't know butmammawould commit suicide,poordearwoman."

(EnterAlicewithempressement):

"Girls, what do you think?Wat Sydney come back and going to give agreat croquet party out at Clairmont, and of course we are all invited withnotesinthemostresplendentstyle,withcrestandcoatofarms,andeverything—perfectly'mag!'There'stobeasteamboatwithabandofmusictotaketheguests up, and no end of splendid doings; marquées and tents andilluminationsandfireworks,andtoreturnbymoonlightafterall'sover;isn'titlovely? I do think Wat Sydney's perfectly splendid! and it's all on youraccount,Eva,Iknowitis."

"Pooh,nonsense,youabsurdchild,Idon'tbelieveit.Idaresayitsapartyjusttoproclaimthatheisengagedtosomebodyelse."

"Doyouknow,"addedAlice,"ImetJimFellows,andhesayseverybodyiswildaboutthisparty—juststark,tearingwildaboutit—foritisn'tgoingtobeacrush—somethingveryselect."

"IsJimgoing?"

"Yes, he showedme his ticket andHenderson's, and he declared hewasgoingtotake'Hal,'ashecalledhim,spiteofhisscreams;hesaidthathehadbeenwriting and studying andmoping himself to death, and that he shoulddraghimoutbythehairofthehead.Come,Eva,let'sgodowntoTullegig'sandhavea'kank'aboutcostumes.Ihaven'tathingfittowear,noryoueither."

CHAPTERXXXI.

THEFATES.

Bolton’sletterexcitedinmymindatumultoffeeling.Fromthebeginningof my acquaintance I had regarded him with daily increasing admiration.Youngmen likea speciesofmental fealty—a friendship that seems todrawthemupwardandgivethemanidealofsomethingabovethemselves.Bolton'sripe,elegantscholarship,hisrare,criticaltaste,hiscalminsightintomenandthings,andthedepthofhismoraljudgment,hadinspiredmewithadmiration,andhiskindnessformewithgratitude.Ithadalwaysbeenanadditionalsourceofinterestthattherewassomethingveiledabouthim—somethingthatIcouldnot exactly make out. This letter, so dignified in its melancholy frankness,seemedtoletmeintothesecretofhislife.Itshowedmethereasonofthatsortof sad and weary tolerance with which he seemed to regard life and itsinstincts, sodifferent from the fiery, forward-lookinghopeofyouth.Hehadimpressedmefromthefirstasonewhohadmadeuphismind toendureallthingsandhopefornothing.Tokeepwatcheverymoment,todothedutyofthehourthoroughly,bravely,faithfully,asasentinelpacesthroughwind,rainand cold—neither asking why, nor uttering complaints—such seemed to beBolton'stheoryoflife.

The infirmity which he laid open to my view was one, to be sure,attributable in the first place to the thoughtless wrong-doing of confidentyouth.Yet,initsbeginning,howlittletherewasinitthatlookedlikethedeepandterribletragedytowhichitwasleading!Outofeverytenyoungmenwhobegin theuseofstimulantsasasocialexhilaration, thereareperhapsfive inwhosebreastliescoiledupandsleepingthisserpent,destinedinafteryearstobethedeadlytyrantoftheirlife—thiscurse,unappeasablebytearsorprayersoragonies—withwhomthestruggleislikethatofLaocoönwiththehideousPython.Yetsongsandgarlandsandpoetryencirclethewine-cup,andridiculeandcontumelyarereservedforhimwhofearstotouchit.

Therewasaboutthislettersuchapatientdignity,suchanevidentbracingofthewholemantomeetinthebravestmannerthehardtruthofthesituation,andsuchadisinterestedcareforothers,asweretomeinexpressiblytouching.Icouldnothelpfeelingthathejudgedandsentencedhimselftooseverely,andthatthiswasacasewhereanoblewomanmightfitlyco-workwithaman,andbydoublinghisnaturegiveitdoublepowerofresistanceandvictory.

Iwenthastilyuptohisroomwiththeletterinmyhandafterreadingit.Itwasintheduskoftheeveningtwilight,butIcouldseehimsittingtheregazing

outofthewindowatthefadingsky;yetitwastoodarkforeitherofustoseethe faceof theother.Thereare someconversations that canonlybeheld indarkness—the visible presence of the bodily form is an impediment—indarkness,spiritspeaksdirectlytospirit.

"Bolton,"Isaid,"Iamyourstoeveryintentandpurpose,yoursforlifeanddeath."

"Andafter,"hesaidinadeepundertone,graspingmyhand."Iknewyouwouldbe,Harry."

"But,Bolton,you judgeyourself too severely.Whyshouldyouput fromyourselfthejoysthatothermen,nothalfsogoodasyou,claimeagerly?IfIwereawomanlikeCaroline,IcanfeelthatIwouldrathersharelifewithyou,inallyourdangersandliabilities,thanwithmanyanother."

Hethoughtamoment,andthensaidslowly,"ItiswellforCarolinethatshehasnotthisfeeling;sheprobablyhasbythistimeforgottenme,andIwouldnotfortheworldtaketheresponsibilityoftryingtocallbackthefeelingsheoncehad."

At thismomentmy thoughts went back overmany scenes, and the realmeaningofallCaroline'slifecametome.Iappreciatedthehardnessofthatlotof women which condemns them to be tied to one spot and one course ofemployment, when needing to fly from the atmosphere of an unhappyexperience.Ithoughtoftheblankstillnessofthelittlemountaintownwhereherlifehadbeenpassed,ofherrestlessnessaddimpatience,ofthatlongingtoflytonewscenesandemploymentsthatshehadexpressedtomeontheeveofmystartingforEurope;yetshehadtoldmeherstory,leavingouttheonevitalspot in it. I remembered her saying that she had never seen the man withwhomshewouldthinkofmarriagewithoutashudder.Wasitbecauseshehadforgotten?Orwasitthatwomannevereventoherselfadmitsthatthoughtinconnectionwithonewho seems tohave forgottenher?Orhadher father soharshlypainted thepictureofher lover thatshehadbeen led tobelievehimutterlyvileandunprincipled?Perhapshisproudsilencehadbeeninterpretedby her as the silence of indifference; perhaps she looked back on theiracquaintancewithindignationthatsheshouldhavebeenemployedmerelytodiversifytheleisureofarusticatedstudentandabandonedcharacter.Whatevertheexperiencemightbe,Carolinehadcarrieditthroughsilently.

Hergay,indifferent,brilliantmanneroftreatinganyapproachtomattersoftheheart,asiftheyweretheverylastsubjectsinwhichshecouldbesupposedtohaveanyexperienceorinterest,hadbeenacompleteblindtome,norcouldI, through this dazzling atmosphere, form the least conjecture as to how thelandactuallylay.

In my former letters to her I had dwelt a good deal on Bolton, andmentionedthelittlefactoffindingherphotographinhisroom.Inreply,inapostscriptattheendofaletterabouteverythingelse,therewasabriefnotice."TheMr. Bolton you speak of taught the Academy in our place while youwere away at college—andof course Iwas one of his scholars—but I havenever seen or heard of him since. Iwas very young then, and it seems likesomething in apreëxistent state tobe remindedofhim. I believedhimveryclever,then,butwasnotoldenoughtoformmuchofanopinion."IthoughtofallthisasIsatsilentlyinthedarkwithBolton.

"Areyou sure," I said, "that youconsult forCaroline's best happiness indoingasyouhavedone?"

Therewasalongpause,andatlasthesaidwithadeep,drawnbreath,

"Yes.Iamsure,thelessIamtoherthebetter."

"But may not your silence and apparent neglect and indifference havegivenpain?"

"Probably;buttheyhelpedhertoceasecaringforme;itwasnecessarythatsheshould."

"Bolton,youaremorbidinyourestimateofyourself."

"Youdonotknowall,Hal;norwhatnorwhereIhavebeen.Ihavebeenswept far out to sea, plunged under deepwaters, all thewaves and billowshavebeenoverme."

"Yetnow,Bolton,surelyyouareonfirmland.Nomanismoreestablished,morereliable,moreuseful."

"Yet,"hesaidwithakindofshudder,"all thisImight lose inamoment.TheotherdaywhenIdinedwithWesterford,thegoodfellowhadhiswinesinallfrankfellowshipandpressedthemonme,andtheverysmelldistractedme.I looked at the little glass inwhichhepoured someparticularly fine sherry,andheldtometotaste,andthoughtitwaslikesomuchheart'sblood.IfIhadtakenonetaste, justone,Ishouldhavebeenutterlyworthlessandunreliableforweeks.YetWesterfordcouldnotunderstandthis;nobodycan,exceptonewhohasbeenthroughmybitterexperience.Onesipwouldflashtothebrainlikefire,andthen,allfear,allcare,allconsciencewouldbegone,andnotoneglass,butadozenwouldbeinevitable,andthenyoumighthavetolookformeinsomeofthosedenstowhichthepossessedofthedevilfleewhenthefitisonthem,andwheretheyraveandtearandcutthemselveswithstonestillthemadness is worn out. This has happened to me over and over, after longperiodsof self-denial and self-control and illusivehope. It seems tome thatmyexperienceis like thatofamanwhomsomecruelfiendcondemnstogo

throughalltheagoniesofdrowningoverandoveragain—thedarkplunge,themadstruggle,thesuffocation,thehorror,theagony,theclutchattheshore,thewearyclamberupsteeprocks,thesenseofrelief,recovery,andhope,onlytobewrenchedoffandthrownbacktostruggle,andstrangle,andsinkagain."

HespokewithsuchadeepintensityofvoicethatIdrewinmybreath,andasilenceasofthegravefellbetweenus.

"Harry,"hesaid,afterapause,"youknowwereadintheGreektragediesofmen andwomenwhom the gods have smittenwith unnatural and guiltypurposes. In which they were irresistibly impelled toward what theyabominated and shuddered at! Is it not strange that the Greek fable shouldhavearealcounterpartinthemidstofourmodernlife?Thatyoungmaninallthe inexperience and thoughtlessness of youth should be beguiled into justsuchafatality;thatthereshouldbeapossibilitythattheycouldbeblightedbyjustsuchadoom,andyetthatsong,andpoetry,andsocialillusion,andsocietycustoms should all be thrown around courseswhich excite and develop thisfatality! What opera is complete without its drinking chorus? I rememberwhen itused tobemyforte tosingdrinkingsongs;so theworldgoes!Mentriumphandrejoicegoingtoadoomtowhichdeathisatrifle.IfIhadfallendead, the first glass ofwine I tasted, itwould have been thought a horriblething;butitwouldhavebeenbetterformymother,betterforme,thantohavelivedasIdid."

"Oh,no,no,Bolton!don'tsayso:youbecomemorbidindwellingonthissubject."

"No,Hal. I only knowmore of it than you.This curse hasmade life anunspeakable burden, a doom instead of a privilege. It has disappointed myfriends,andsubjectedmetohumiliationsandagoniessuchthatdeathseemstome a refuge; and yet it was all in its beginning mere thoughtlessness andignorance.IwaslostbeforeIknewit."

"Butyouarenotlost,andyoushallnotbe!"Iexclaimed,"youaregoodformorethanmostmennow,andyouwillcomethroughthis."

"Never! to be just as others are. I shall be a vessel with a crack in it,always."

"Well,avaseoffineporcelainwithacrackinitisbetterthanearthenwarewithout,"Isaid.

"IfIhadnotdisappointedmyselfandmyfriendssooften,"saidBolton,"Imightlookonmyselfassoundandsane.Butthemeresightandsmellofthewine atWesterford's dinner gave me a giddy sensation that alarmedme; itshowedthatIwasnotyetoutofdanger,anditmademeresolvetostrengthenmy self by making you my keeper. You have the advantage of perfectly

healthy nerves that have come to manhood without the strain of any falsestimulus,andyoucanbestrongforbothofus."

"Godgrantit!"saidI,earnestly.

"ButIwarnyouthat,ifthecursecomesuponmeyouarenottotrustme.IamaChristianandamanofhonorinmysanemoments,but letmetellyouone glass of wine would make me a liar on this subject. I should lie, andintrigue,anddeceivetheveryelect,togetatthemiserablecompletionofthearousedfury,andtherearetimeswhenIamsoexcitedthatIfearImaytakethatfirstirrevocablestep;itisahorror,anightmare,atemptationofthedevil,—forthatthereisadevil,menwithmyexperienceknow;butthereisakindof safety in having a friend of a steady pulsewithmewho knows all. Themerefactthatyoudoknowhelpsholdmefirm."

"Bolton," said I, "the situation you offer to Caroline in the care of theLadies'CabinetwillofcourseobligehertocometoNewYork.Shallyoumeetherandrenewyouracquaintance?"

"Idonotdesireto,"hesaid.

Therewasaslighthesitancyandfalteringofhisvoiceashespoke.

"Yet it can hardly be possible that you will not meet; you will havearrangementstomakewithher."

"That isoneof theuses,amongothers,ofhavingyou.All that relates toheraffairswillpassthroughyou;andnow,letustalkofthemagazineanditsprogrammefortheseason.Whatisthereason,Hal,thatyouwasteyourforcesinshortsketches?Whydoyounotboldlydashoutintoaserialstory?Come,now,IamresolvedamongotherthingsonaserialstorybyHarryHenderson."

"AndIwillrecommendatakingtitle,"criedJimFellows,whocameinasweweretalking,andstoodbehindmychair."Letushave

HENDERSON'SHORROR;or,TheMysteryoftheBloodyLatch-Key.

There'satitletotakewiththereflectingpublic!Thereadersofserialsaregenerallygirlsfromtwelvetotwenty,andtheyreadthemwiththeirback-hairdown, loungingon thebed, justbeforeanapafterdinner,and theremustbeenoughbloodand thunder, andmurder andadulteryandmystery in them tokeepthedearcreaturesreadingatleasthalfanhour."

"Ithinkserialstoriesareaboutplayedoutinourday,"saidI.

"Not a bit of it. There's sister Nell, don't read anything else. She isregularly running on five serial stories, and among them all they keep hernicelya-going;andshetellsmethatthecaseisthesamewithallthegirlsinher set. The knowledge of the world and of human nature that the pretty

creatures get in this way is something quite astounding. Nell is at presentdeeplyinterestedinafairladywhoconniveswithherchambermaidtopassoffher illegitimate child upon her husband as his own; andwe have lying andfalseswearing,Isaynothingofallotherkindsofinterestingthingsoneverypage.Ofcoursethisiswrittenasamorallesson,andinterspersedwithpiousreflectionstoteachgirlsashowtheyhadn'toughterdosoandso.Allthis,yousee,hasarefiningeffectupontherisinggeneration."

"But,really,Bolton,don'tyouthinkthatitistreatingourmodernsocietyaschildren, to fall in with this extreme fashion of story-telling? It seems sochildishtoneedpicturesandstoriesforeverything.Isn'tyourmagazinestrongenoughtoleadandformpublictasteinsteadoffollowingit?"

"Well,ifIownedmymagazineIwouldtryit,"saidBolton."But,yousee,theWesterfords,whiletheygivemecarteblancheastomeanstorunit,expectof course that it is to be run in the approved popular grooves that the dearthoughtlesstenmillionprefer.Thepeoplewholoungeonbedsafterdinnerareour audience, and there must be nothing wiser nor stronger than they canapprehend between sleeping and waking. We talk to a blasé, hurried,unreflecting,indolentgeneration,whowantemotionanddon'tcareforreason.Somethingsharpandspicy,somethingpungentandstinging—nomatterwhatorwhence.Andnowastheywantthissortofthing,whynotgiveittothem?Are there no other condiments for seasoning stories besides intrigues, lies,murders, andadulteries?And if theyoungandunreflectingwill read storiesshouldn'tsomeofthethoughtfulandreflectingmakestoriesforthemtoread?"

"Ofcoursetheyshould,Q.E.D.,"saidJimFellows,touchingthegaswithamatch, and sendinga flareof lightuponour conference. "But come,now,beholdthelastnoveltyoftheseason,"saidhe,tossingtwocardsofinvitation."Thisisforus,assonsofthepressandrecordingangels,tobepresentatWatSydney'sgrandblow-outnextTuesday.Alltherankandfashionaretogo.Itistobeveryselect,andtherearepeoplewhowouldgivetheireye-teethforthesecards,andcan'tget 'em.Howdoyesay,OldManoftheMountain,willyougo?"

"No,"saidBolton;"notmyline."

"Well, at all events,Hal has got to go. I promised the fairAlice that I'dbringhimifIhadtotakehimbythehair."

Ihadagreatmind todecline. I thought inmyheart itwasnot at all thewisest thing forme to go; but then,Amare et sapere vixDeo—I had neverseenSydney,andIhada restlessdesire toseehimandEva together—andIthoughtoffortygoodreasonswhyIshouldgo.

CHAPTERXXXII.

THEGAMEOFCROQUET.

How I advise all serious, sensible individuals who never intend to doanything that is not exactly most reasonable and most prudent, and whoalways do exactly as they intend, not to follow my steps on the presentoccasion, for I am going to do exactly what is not to be recommended toyounggentlemeninmysituation,andcertainlywhatisnotatallprudent.

For if a youngman findshimselfwithout recall, hopelessly in lovewithonewhosesmilesareallforanother,hisbestwayistokeepoutofhersociety,andinacourseofengrossingbusinessthatwillleavehimaslittletimetothinkofheraspossible.

Ihadeveryadvantageforpursuingthiscourse,forIhadapressofwritinguponme,finishingupabatchofliteraryjob-workwhichIwishedtogetfairlyoutof thewayso thatImightgivemywholeenergies toBoltoninournewenterprise.Infact,togooffphilanderingtoacroquetpartyuptheNorthRiverwasasheerpieceofchildishfolly,andtheonlyearthlyreasonIcouldreallygiveforitwasthepresenceofawomantherethatIhadresolvedtoavoid.InfactIfeltthatthethingwassoaltogethersillythatIpretendedtomyselfthatIwas impregnably resolved against it, and satmyself down inBolton's roommaking abstracts from some of his books, knowing all the while that Jimwouldseekmeoutthereandhavehismoralfish-hookfastinmycoatcollar,asintruthhedid.

"Come, come,Hal," he said, bursting in, "I promised the divinest of hersextobringyoualong."

"Oh nonsense, Jim! it's out of the question," said I. "I've got to get thisarticledone."

"Oh, you be hangedwith your article, come along!What's the use of afellow's shutting himself up with books? I tell you, Hal, if you're going towrite for folksyoumust see folksand folksmust seeyou,andyoumustbearound and into and a part of all that's goingon.Comeon!Why, youdon'tknow the honor done you. Its a tip-top select party, and all the handsomestgirlsandallthenobbyfellowswillbethere,andnoendoffun.Sydney'splacealoneisworthgoingtosee.Itsthecrackplaceontheriver;andthentheysaythe engagement is going to be declared, and everybody is wild to knowwhetheritisorisn'ttobe,andthegirlsarefurbishingupfancysuitstocroquetin.MissAlicetreatedmetoaglimpseofhersasImetheronTullegig'ssteps,anditscalculatedtodriveafellowcrazy,andsocomenow,"saidJim,pullingawaymypapersandlayingholdofme,"let'sgooutandgetsomeglovesand

proceedtomakeourselvesup.Wehavethepresstorepresent,andwemustbenobby,sohangexpense!here'sforJouvin'sbest,andletto-morrowtakecareofitself."

Now, seconding all these temptations was that perverse inclination thatmakeseverymanwant toseea littlemoreandtastea littlemoreofwhathehas had toomuch already.Moreover I wanted to see Eva andWat Sydneytogether.Iwantedtobecertainandsatisfymyselfwithmyowneyes,notonlythattheywereengagedbutthatshewasinlovewithhim.Ifshebe,saidItomyself,sheiscertainlyanexquisitecoquetteandadangerouswomanformetokeepupanacquaintancewith.

In thinking over as I had done since Mrs. Van Arsdel's motherlyconversation, all our intercourse and acquaintance with each other, herconductsometimesseemedtometobethatofaveritable"LadyClaraVeredeVere,"bentonamusingherself,anddiversifyingthetediumoffashionablelifebyexcitingfeelingswhichshehadnothoughtofreturning.WhenItookthisviewofmatters I feltangryandcontemptuousandresolved toshowthefairladythatIcouldbeasindifferentasshe.SometimesImademyselfsupremelywretchedbysupposingthatitwasbyherdesirethatMrs.VanArsdelhadheldthe conversation withme, and that it was a sort of intimation that she hadperceivedmyfeelings,andresolvedtoputadecidedcheckuponthem.Butofcourse nothing so straightforward and sensible as going to her for anexplanationofall thiswas tobe thoughtof. In factour intercoursewithoneanothereversincethememorableoccasionIrefertohadbeendailylessening,andnowwasgenerally limited topassing themostordinarycommon-placeswith each other. She had grown cold and dry, almost haughty, and I wasconscious of a most unnatural rigidity and constraint. It seemed to mesometimes astonishingwhen I looked back a little, to reflect how perfectlyeasyandfreeandunconstrainedwealwayshadbeenuptoacertainpoint,tofindthatnowwemetwithsolittleenjoyment,talkedandsaidsolittletoanypurpose. It was as if some evil enchanter had touched us with his wandstiffeningeverynerveofpleasure.Tolookforwardtomeetingherinsocietywasnolonger,asithadbeen,tolookforwardtodelightfulhours;andyetforthelifeofmeIcouldnothelpgoingwherethismostunsatisfactory,tantalizingintercoursewasallIhadtohopefor.

But to-day, I said tomyself, Iwouldgrasp the thornsof the situation sofirmlyas tobreakthemdownandtakeafirmholdonreality. If, indeed,herengagementwere to-day to be declared, Iwould face themusic like aman,walk up to her and present my congratulations in due form, and then theacquaintancewouldmakeagallant finale in theglareofwedding lampsandthe fanfaronadeofwedding festivities,andaway to fresh fieldsandpasturesnew.

In short, whatever a man is secretly inclined to do there are always ahundred sensible incontrovertible reasons to be found for doing, and so Ifoundmyselfoneofthegayandfestivethrongonboardthesteamer.Apartyofwell-dressedpeople floatingup theNorthRiverofabrightSpringday isaboutasidealapictureoftravelascanbedesired.InpointofnaturalscenerytheRhineisnothingcomparedwiththeHudson,andourAmericansteamboatscertainlyareasfaraheadofanythateverappearedontheRhineasAladdin'spalaceisaheadofanordinarydwelling.Themostsuperbboatontheriverhadbeen retained for the occasion, and a band ofmusic added liveliness to thesceneaswemovedofffromthewharfintriumph,asgay,glittering,festiveacompanyasheartcouldwish.

Wat Sydney as host and entertainer was everywhere present, makinghimselfagreeablebythemostdevotedattentionstothecomfortofthebrightbandof tropical birds, fluttering in silks and feathers and ribbons,whomhehadchargeoffortheday.IwaspresentedtohimbyJimFellows,andhadanopportunitytoseethatapartfromhisimmensewealthhehadnoverystrikingpersonalpointstodistinguishhimfromahundredotheryoungmenabouthim.Hisdresswasscrupulouslyadjusted,withacareandnicetywhichshowedthathe was by no means without consideration of the personal impression hemade. Every article was the choicest and best that the most orthodoxfashionableemporiumspronouncedthelatestthing,orasJimFellowsphrasedit, decidedly "nobby."Hewas of amediumheight,with very light hair andeyes, and the thin complexion which usually attends that style, and which,under the kind of exposure incident to a man's life, generally tends to toomuchrednessofface.

Altogether,myfirstrunningcommentaryonthemanasIshookhandswithhimwas, that if Evawere in lovewith him itwas not for his beauty; yet Icouldseeglancesfallingonhimonallsidesfromundeniablyhandsomeeyesthatwouldhaveexcusedanymanforhavinga favorableconceitofhisownpersonalpresence.

Mr. Sydneywaswell accustomed to being the cynosure of female eyes,andwalkedthedeckwiththeassuredstepofamancertainofpleasing.Arichgood-humoredyoungmanwhomanifestshimselfdailyinsplendidturn-outs,whorainsdownflowersandconfectioneryamonghisfeminineacquaintances,andsendsdiamondsandpearlsasphilopœnapresents,certainlydoesnotneedaromanticstyleofbeautyoranyparticulardegreeofmentalculturetomakehissocietymorethanacceptable.Prudentmammasweregenerallyofopinionthat the height of felicity for a daughter would be the position that shouldenableher tobe themistressanddictatrixofhisample fortune.Mr.Sydneywasperfectlywell awareof this stateof things.Hewasamana littleblaséwith thekindattentionsofmatrons,and tolerablysecureof thegood-willof

verycharmingyoungladies.Hehadtheprestigeofsuccess,andhadgenerallycarriedhispoints in theworldofmenand things.MissEvaVanArsdelhadbeenthefirstyoungladywhohadgivenhimthenovelsensationofarepulse,andthenceforthbecameanobjectofabsorbinginterestinhiseyes.Underthecareless good-humor of his general appearance Sydney had a constitutionalpertinacity,apersistenceinhisownwaythathadbeenasourceofmanyofhisbrilliant successes in business. He was one of those whom obstacles anddifficulties only stimulate, and whose tenacity of purpose increases withresistance.Hewascautious,sagacious,readytowaitandwatchandrenewtheattackat intervals,butnevertogiveup.Tosucceedwasatributetohisownself-esteem,andwhateverwasdifficultofattainmentwasthemorevaluable.

A littleobservationduring thecourseof the firsthourconvincedme thattherewas as yet no announcement of an engagement.Mrs.VanArsdel andAuntMariaWouvermans, to be sure, were onmost balmy and confidentialtermswithMr.Sydney,addressinghimwitheveryappearanceofmysteriousintimacy,andquitewillingtoproducetheimpressionthatthewholefêtewasinsomemanneratributetothefamily,buttheseappearanceswerenotcarriedoutbyanycoöperativemovementson thepartofEvaherself.Sheappearedradiantinafancifulbluecroquetsuitwhichthrewouttoadvantagethegoldenshadeofherhair,andthepinksea-shelldelicacyofhercheek,andasusualshehadhercourt aroundherandwasmanaginghercirclewith theaddressofapracticedhabituéeofsociety.

"Favorstonone,toall,shesmilesextends,

Oftsherejects,butneveronceoffends.

Brightasthesun,herbeamsthegazersstrike,

Andlikethesun,theysmileonallalike."

Unlikemany of her sex, Eva had the faculty of carrying the full cup ofbellehoodwithoutspillinganunseemlydrop,andasshewasoneofthosewhoseem tohavequite asmuchgift in charmingher feminine ashermasculineacquaintances, she generally sat surrounded by an admiring body-guard ofgirlswholaughedatherjestsandechoedherbonmotsandkeptupasortofradiant atmosphere of life and motion and gayety around her. Herconstitutionalgood-nature,her readiness toadmireotherpeople,and tohelpeach in due season to some small portion of the applause and admirationwhichislyingaboutlooseforgeneralcirculationinsociety,allcontributedtoher popularity. As I approached the circle they were discussing with greatanimationthepreliminariesofamatchgameofcroquetthatwasproposedtobeplayedatClairmontto-day.

"Oh,herecomesMr.Henderson!let'saskhim,"shesaid,asIapproached

thecircle.

"Don't you think it will be a nice thing?" she said. "Mr. Sydney hasarrangedthatafterplayingthefirstgamesasatrialthefourbestplayersshallbeelectedtoplayamatchgame,twooneachside."

"Ithinkitwillvarytheusualmonotonyofcroquet,"saidI.

"Hearhim,"shesaid,gaily,"talkoftheusualmonotonyofcroquet!FormypartIthinkthereisaconstantvarietytoit,notwogamesareeveralike."

"Tome,"Isaid,"itseemsthatafteracertainamountofpracticetheresultislikelytobethesamething,gameaftergame."

"Girls," she said, "I perceive thatMr. Henderson is used to carrying allbeforehim.Heisprobablyachampionplayerwhowillwalkthroughall thewicketsasamatterofcourse."

"Notatall,"Isaid."OnthecontraryIshouldn'twonderifIshould'booby'hopelesslyattheveryfirstwicket."

"And none the worse for that," said Sydney. "I've boobied three timesrunning,inthefirstofagame,andyetbeaten;itgetsone'sbloodup,andonewillbeat."

"Formypart,"saidMissAlice,"themoremybloodisupthelessIcando;ifIgetexcitedIlosemyaim,myhandtrembles,andImisstheverysimplestmove."

"Ithinkthereisnothingvariessomuchasone'sluckincroquet,"saidEva."SometimesforweekstogetherIamsuretohiteveryaimandtocarryeverywicket, and then all of a sudden,without rhymeor reason, Imake themostabsurdfailures,andgenerallywhenIpiquemyselfonsuccess."

"I think, Miss Eva, I remember you as the best player in Newport lastSummer,"saidMr.Sydney.

"AndlikelyasnotIshallfailingloriouslyto-day,"saidshe.

"Well,weshallallhaveatimeforbringingourhandsin,"saidMr.Sydney."Ihavearrangedfourcroquetgrounds,andthefifthoneislaidoutforthetrialgamewithlongerintervalsandspecialdifficultiesinthearrangement,tomakeitasexcitingaspossible.Thevictorioussideistohaveaprize."

"Oh,howsplendid!Whatistheprizetobe?wasthegeneralexclamation."

"Behold, then!" saidMr. Sydney, drawing from his pocket a velvet casewhichwhenopeneddisplayedatinycroquetmalletwroughtingoldandsetasa lady's pin.Depending from it by four gold chainswere four little balls ofemerald,ruby,amethyst,andtopaz.

"Howperfectly lovely!howdivine!howbeautiful!"were thesounds thatarose from thebrilliant little circle thatwere in amomentprecipitateduponthetreasure.

"You will really set them all by the ears, Mr. Sydney," said Mrs. VanArsdel."Croquetofitselfisexcitingenough;oneisapttoloseone'stemper."

"YououghttoseemammaandMrs.VanDuzenandAuntMariaplay,"saidEva,"ifyouwanttoseeanedifyinggame,it'stoofunny.Theyareallsopoliteand so dreadfully courtly and grieved to do anything disagreeable to eachother, and you know croquet is such a perfectly selfish, savage, unchristiangame; so when poor Mrs. Van Duzen is told that she ought to croquetmamma'sballawayfromthewicket, thedear lady, isquiteready tocryanddeclares that itwouldbe suchapity todisappointher, that shecroquetsherthroughherwicket, and looks roundapologizing forhervirtueswith suchapitifulface!'Indeed,mydear,Icouldn'thelpit!'"

"Well,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,"Ireallythinkitistoobadwhenapoorbodyhas been battering and laboring at a difficultwicket to be croqueted back adozentimes."

"It's meant for the culture of Christian patience, mamma," said Eva."Croquetisthegameoflife,yousee."

"Certainly," saidMr.Sydney, rubbinghis hands, "and it teachesyou justhowtomanage,useyourfriendstohelpyourselfalong,andthencroquetthemintogoodpositions;useyourenemiesaslongasyouwantthem,andthensendthemto——."

"Thedevil,"saidJimFellows,whoneverhesitatedtofillupanemphaticblankintheconversation.

"Ididn'tsaythat,"saidMr.Sydney.

"But youmeant it, all the same; and that's the long and the short of thephilosophyofthegameoflife,"saidJim.

"And"saidI,"onemayreadallsortsoflife-historiesinthegame.Somegoonwithasteadyaimandtruestroke,andmakewickets,andhitballs,yetarecroqueted back ingloriously or hopelessly wired and lose the game, whileothers blunder advantageously and are croqueted along by skillful partnersintoallthebestplaces."

"There are fewof us girls thatmakeour ownwickets in life," saidEva."Weareallcroquetedalongbypapasandmammas."

"Andmanyamaniscroquetedalongbyasmartwife,"saidSydney.

"Butmorewomenbysmarthusbands,"saidMrs.VanArsdel.

On that therewas a general exclamation, and the conversation forthwithwhisked into one of those animated whirlwinds that always arise when thecomparativemeritsofthesexesaremoved.Therewasaflutterofribbonsandarustleoffansandalaughingcross-fireofsharpsayings,till thewholewasbrokenupbytheannouncementthatweweredrawingnearthelanding.

CHAPTERXXXIII.

THEMATCHGAME.

ThelawnatClairmontmadeabrilliantspectacle,alllaidoutwithdifferentcroquetsets.Theturfwaslikevelvet,andadjoiningeverygroundwasaprettytent, with seats and every commodious provision for repairing at once anytemporaryderangementofthefemininetoilet.Theflutteringofgayflagsandpennons from thesevarious tentsgaveanairyandbreezy look to the scene,andimmediatelyweformedourselvesintosets,andthegamesbegan.Ithadbeenarrangedthatthepreliminaryplayingshouldtakeplaceimmediately,andthematchgamebereservedtillafterlunch.Thevariousfancycostumesoftheplayers,litupbythebrightsunshine,andcontrastedwiththeemeraldgreenofthe lawn, formed a brilliant and animated picture, watchedwith interest bygroups of non-combatants from rustic seats under the trees. Of courseeverybody was a little nervous in the trial games, and there was the usualamountofillluck,andof"OhsandAhs"ofsuccessorfailure.Imademyselfa"booby" twice, in that unaccountable way that seems like fatality. Thensuddenly, favored of the fates, made two wickets at once, seized anantagonist's ball, and went with it at one heat through the side wicket, themiddle and other side wicket up to the stake and down again, through themiddlewickettothestakeagain,andthenstruckbackagloriousrovertojoinmypartner.Itwasoneofthoseprodigiouslyluckyruns,whenone'sballgoesexactlywhereitisintended,andstopsexactlyintherightplace,andthoughitwas mostly owing to good luck, with the usual prestige of success I wascoveredwithgloryandcongratulations,andmypartner,MissSophieElmore,herself a champion at croquet, was pleased to express most unboundedadmiration,especiallyasoursidecameoutdecidedlyvictorious.

MissSophie,aneat littlevigorousbrunette, inaravishingfancycroquet-suit, entered into the game with all that whole-hearted ardor which makeswomensuchterriblecombatants.

"Oh,Idohopethatweshallbeinatthatfinalmatch-game!"shesaid,witha charming abandon of manner. "I should so like to beat Eva Van Arsdel.Those Van Arsdels always expect to carry all before them, and it rather

provokesme,Iconfess.Now,withyoutohelpme,Mr.Henderson,Iamsurewecouldbeat."

"Don't put too much faith in my accidental run of luck," I said; "'oneswallowdoesnotmakeasummer.'"

"Oh,I'mquitesurebythewayyoumanagedyourgamethatitwasn'tluck.ButyouseeIwanttotrywithEvaVanArsdelagain,forsheandIwereheldtobethebestplayersatNewportlastsummer,andshebeatinthelast'rubber'weplayed.Itwassoprovoking—justoneslipofthemallet thatruinedme!Youknow,sometimes,howyourmalletwillturninyourhands.Shemadejustsuchaslipand took thestrokeoveragain.Nowthat iswhat Ineverwilldo,yousee,"&c.,&c.

Inshort,IcouldseethatforprettyMissSophie,atpresent,croquetwastoallintentsandpurposes,thewholegameoflife,thateveryspangleandeveryhair-pinaboutherwerevitalwithexcitementtowin.

After lunch came the ballot for the combatants who were to play thedecidinggame,and thepartieselectedwere:MissSophieElmore,MissEvaVanArsdel,Mr.Sydney,andmyself.

"MissVanArsdel,"saidMr.Sydney,"youmustbemycaptain.After thefeats that you and Mr. Henderson have been performing it would beimpossibletoallowyoubothononeside."

"Ithinkjustaslikelyasnotyouwillbeworstedforyourpains,"saidEva."I know Sophie of old for a terrible antagonist, andwhen she pulls on hercroquet-gloveslikethat,itmeanswartotheknife,andnoquarter.So,mydear,beginthetournament."

Thewicketswerearrangedatextradistancesuponthistrialground,anditwashardlyprudent toattemptmaking twowicketsatonce,butMissSophieplayedintheadventurousstyle,andsentherballwithavigoroustapnotonlythrough both the firstwickets, but so far ahead that itwas entangled in thewiresofthemiddlewicket, inawaythatmadeit impossibletogiveitafairstroke.

"Now,howvexatious!"shecried.

"Ihavetwoextrastrokesformytwowickets,butIshallmakenothingbyit."Infact,MissSophie,withtwonervoushits,succeededonlyinplacingherballexactlywherewithfairluckthenextplayermustbesuretogetit.

Eva now came through the two first wickets, one at a time, andwith awell-directedtaptookpossessionofMissSophie,whogroanedaudibly,"Oh,nowshe'sgotme!well,there'snosayingnowwhereshe'llstop."

In fact,MissEvaperformedveryskillfully the rôleof the"catwhodoth

play, and after—slay." Shewas perfectmistress of the tactics of split-shots,whichsentherantagonist'sballonesidethewicketandherstheother,andalltheothermysteriesofthecraft,andsheusedthemwell, tillshehadbeenupandhitthestakeandcomedowntothemiddlewicket,whenherluckfailed.

Thencamemyturn,andIcame through thefirst twowickets,struckherball andused it for the twonextwickets, till I camenearmypartner,whenwith a prosperous split-shot I sent her off to distant regions, struck mypartner'sball,putitthroughitswicket,andcameandstationedmyselfwithinitsreachforfutureuse.

ThencameMr.Sydneywithavigoroussuccessionofhits,andknockedusapart; sent one to one side of the ground, and one to the other, and wentgallantlyuptohispartner.Bythistimeourbloodwasthoroughlyup,andthegamebecameasEvaprophesied, "war to theknife."Mohawk indians couldnothavebeenmoremercilessinpurposesofuttermischieftoeachotherthanwe,andforawhileitseemedasifnothingwasdonebuttoattackeachother'sballs,andsendthemasfaraspossibletotheuttermostpartofthegrounds.Aseach had about equal skill in making long shots the re-union however wasconstantlyeffected,andthuseachinturnwerebeatenbackfromthewickets,tillitseemedforawhilethatthegamewouldmakenoprogress.

At last, however, one slip of our antagonists threw the power into ourhands, and Miss Sophie used it to take herself and me up through threewickets to the stake, and thence down again till the intricatemiddlewicketstoppedourcourse.

Aburstofcheeringgreetedhersuccess,andthedarklittleladyseemedtoglowlikeacoaloffire.Iwasn'tsurethatsparksdidnotsnapfromhereyesassheendedherperformancewithacroquetthatsentEva'sballspinningtothemostinaccessibledistances.

Awell-pointedshotfromWatSydneyagainturnedthetideofbattle,androuted thevictors,whilehewent to the rescueof thebanishedprincess,andtookherbacktoposition.

Everyturnofthetide,andeverygoodshotwashailedwithcheers,andtheexcitementbecameintense.Therewerepointsinthebattleashardtocarryasthe Malakoff, and we did nothing but fight, without advancing a step. Itseemed for awhile that none of uswould ever so far get the advantage ofanother as topass thatdownwardmiddlewicket.Every successive stepwaswonbybattles.Theladiesweresoexcitedthattheyseemedtwoflamesoffire.Every nerve in them was alive, and we men felt ourselves only clumsyinstruments of their enkindled ardor. We were ordered about, commanded,rebuked,encouraged,andcheeredontothefraywithapungencyandvigorofdecision that made us quite secondary characters in the scene. At last a

fortunatestrokegaveMissSophiethecommandofthegame,andshedashedthrough the middle wicket, sent Eva's ball to farthest regions up, and Mr.Sydney'sdowntothestake,tookminewithherinhervictoriousracethroughwicket after wicket, quite through to the stake, and then leaving me for amoment she croqueted Sydney's ball against the stake, and put it out. Ageneralcheerandshoutsof"victory"arose.

"We've got it! We're quite sure to go out the next move!" she said, intriumph,assheleftherballbymyside."Shenevercanhitatthatdistance."

"I can try, though," saidEva,walking across the ground, and taking herplacebyherball,paleandresolved,withaconcentratedcalmness.Shesightedtheballsdeliberately,poisedhermallet,tookaim,andgaveawell-consideredstroke.Likeastraight-aimedarrowtheballflewacrossthegreen,throughthefinalwicket,andstruckSophie'sball!

A general cheering arose, and the victorious markswoman walkeddeliberatelydowntofinishherwork.OnestrokeputSophieoutofthecombat,the next struck upon me and then fromme up to the head of the two lastwickets that yet remained to be made. She came through these with onestraightstroke,andhitmeagain.

"Nowforit,"shesaid,settingherred-slipperedfootfirmlyontheball,andwithonevirulenttap,awayflewmyballtotheotherendoftheground,whileatthesametimehershitthestakeandthevictorywaswon.

Ageneralshout,andthreecheers,andallthespectatorsstartedfromtheirseatslikeatroopofgaytropicalbirds,andcameflockingaroundthevictors.

Ikneltdown,and laidmymalletather feet."Beautifulprincess!"said I,"beholdyourenemies,conquered,awaityoursentence."

"Arise,SirKnight," she said, laughing; "I sentenceyou towrite aballaddescribingthisbattle.Come,Sophie,"sheadded,turninggaylytothebrunette,"let's shakehandson it.Youshallhaveyour revengeofmeatNewport thissummer,"andthetworivalfaironesshookhandsinallapparentamity.

Wat Sydney now advancing presented the prizewith a gallant bow, andEva accepted it graciously, and fastened the blue scarf that floated over hershoulderwithit,andthenthewholepartyadjournedtoanotherportionofthelawn,whichhadbeenarrangedfordancing;themusicstruckupandsoonwewerealljoininginthedancewithageneralhilarity.

AndsoendedthedayatClairmont,andwecamehomeunderabroadfullmoon,tothesoundofmusiconthewaters.

CHAPTERXXXIV.

[EvaVanArsdeltoIsabelConvers.]

My dearest Belle:—Since I last wrote you wondrous things have takenplace,andofcourseImustkeepyouaucourant.

In thefirstplaceMr.Sydneycameback toourhorizon likeacomet inablazeofglory.Thefirstharbingerofhisreturnwasnothimselfinpropriâ,butcards for a croquet fête up at Clairmont got up with the last degree ofelegance.

Mr.Sydney,itappears,understandstheeffectofagildedframetosetoffapicture, and so resolved tomanifest himself to us in all his surroundings atClairmont.

The partywas to be very select and recherché, and of course everybodywasjustwildtogo,andtheElmoresinparticularwereonthequivivetoknowifwehadinvitationsbeforethem.SophiaElmorecalleddownfornothingbuttosee.Wehadallthesatisfactiontherewastobegotinshowingherourcardsand letting her know that they had come two days sooner than theirs.AuntMaria contrived to give them to understand that Mr. Sydney gave theentertainmentmostly onmy account,which I thinkwas assuming quite toomuchinthecase.Iampositivelytiredofthesemeanlittlerivalriesandtheseracesthatarerunbetweenfamilies.

ItisthoughtthatSophiaElmoreisquitefascinatedbyMr.Sydney.Sophiais a nice, spirited girl, with a good, generous heart as I believe, and it's athousandpitiessheshouldn'thavehimifshecaresforhim.

But, tomy story.Youmay imagine the fuss at Tullegig's.Of coursewebelong to the classwho live in the enjoymentof "nothing towear," and thefirstresultofaprojectedentertainmentistothrowusallonourkneesbeforeTullegig,whoqueensitoverusaccordingly.

Iwasjustdyingtofindoutifacertainpersonwastobethere.Oflateourintercourse has been so very stately and diplomatic that it really becomesexciting.Hehasavoidedeveryappearanceofintimacy,everyapproachtoouroldconfidential standing,andyet apparently for the lifeofhimcannotkeepfromtakingviewsofmeatsafedistance;so,asIsaid,itwassomethingtoseeifhewouldbethere.

AstoClairmont,IthinkinthecourseofmylifeIhaveseenfinegrounds,fine houses, fine furniture, and fine fêtes before. Nevertheless I must doSydney the justice to say that he gave a most charming and beautifulentertainmentwhereeverythingwasjustaslovelyascouldbe.Wewentupon

asplendidboattothesoundofmusic.Wehadamagnificentlunchunderthetrees, and therewere arrangements for four games to go on at once,whichmadeagayandanimatedtableau.Allthegirlsworetheprettiestcostumesyoucanimagine,eachoneseemingprettierthantheother;andwhentheywereallmovingaboutinthegameitmadeabright,cheerfuleffect.Mr.Hendersonwasthereanddistinguishedhimselftosuchadegreethathewasappointedoneofthefourwhoweretoplayamatch-game,inconclusion,foraprize.CuriouslyenoughheplayedwithSophiaagainstSydneyandmyself.Howwedidfight!Sophieisoneofthesegirlsthatfeeleverythingtothetipsoftheirfingers,andIamanother,andifwedidn'tmakethosemenbestirthemselves!Ifancytheyfoundwomenrulerswereofakindtokeepmenprettybusy.

Icanimaginetheexcitementwewomenwouldmakeofanelectionifweshouldevergetintopolitics.Wouldwenotcroquetouradversaries'balls,andmake stunning split-shots in parties, and wire ourselves artfully behindwickets, and do all sorts of perplexing things? I confess if the excitementshouldgettobehalfasgreatasinplayingcroquet,Ishouldtrembletothinkofit.

Well, itwas someexcitement at all events toplay against eachother, heandI.Didn'tIseekouthisball,didn'tIpursueit,beat itbackfromwickets,come on it withmost surprising and unexpected shots? Sophie fought withdesperationontheotherside,andatlasttheyseemedtohavecarriedtheday,therewasbutonestrokewanting toput themout; theyhadkilledSydneyatthe stake and banishedme to the farthest extremity of the ground.MammaalwayssaidIhadthegeniusforemergencies,andifyou'llbelievemeIstruckquiteacrossthegroundandhitSophie'sballandsentitout,andthenItookhisbacktomakemytwolastwicketswith,andfinallywithanimposingcoupdethéâtre I croqueted him to the other end of the ground, andwent out amidthundersofapplause.Hetookitwithgreatpresenceofmind,kneltdownandlaid the mallet handsomely at my feet, and professed to deliver himselfcaptive,andIimposeditonhimasatasktowriteaballaddescriptiveoftheencounter.Sohewasshutupforabouthalfanhourinthelibrary,andcameoutwithaveryfineandfunnyballadinChevyChasemeasuredescribingourexploits, which was read under the trees, and cheered and encored in theliveliestmannerpossible.

On the whole, Mr. Henderson may be said to have had quite a societysuccess yesterday, as I heard him very much admired, and the Elmoresoverwhelmedhimwith pressing invitations to call, to come to their soirées,etc.,etc.YouseetheseElmoreshaveeverythingmoneycanbuy,andsotheyaredistractedtobeliterary,oratleasttohaveliterarypeopleintheirtrain,andthey have always been wanting to get Henderson and Jim Fellows to theirreceptions.So IheardMrs.Elmoreoverwhelminghimwithcomplimentson

hispoeminawaythatquiteamusedme,forIknewenoughofhimtoknowexactly how all this seemed to him. He is of all persons one of the mostdifficult to flatter, and has the keenest sense of the ridiculous; and Mrs.Elmore'sstyleisasifoneshouldemptyabushelbasketofpeachesorgrapesonyourheadinsteadofpassingthefruitdish.

But I am so busy traducingmyneighbors that I forgot to say Iwon thecroquetprize,whichwasdulypresented.Itwasagoldcroquetmalletsetasapinwithfourballsofemerald,amethyst,ruby,andtopazdependingfromit.IthadquiteanEtruscaneffectandwasverypretty,butwhenIsawhowmuchSophiareallytookthedefeattoheart,mysoulwasmovedforherandImadeapeace-offeringbygettinghertoacceptit.Itwasnoteasyatfirst,butImadeapointof it and insistedupon itwithallmy logic, tellingher that inpointofskill she had really won the game, that my last stroke was only a luckyaccident,andyouknowIcangenerallytalkpeopleintoalmostanythingIsetmyhearton,andsoasSophiewasflatteredbymyestimateofherskillandasthebaubleisaprettyone,Iprevailedonhertotakeit.IamtiredandsickofthisfussbetweentheElmoresandus,anddon'tmeantohavemoreofit,forSophiereallyisanicegirl,andnotabitmorespoiledthananyoftherestofus,notwithstandingallthenonsenseofherfamily,andsheandIhaveagreedtobefastfriendsforthefuture,whatevermaycome.

Ihadoneothermotive in thismove. Ineverhaveaccepted jewelryfromSydney,and Iwasquitewilling tobe ridof this. If IcouldonlycroquethisheartdowntoSophietouse,itmightbeanicething.Ifancyshewouldlikeit.

Imanagedmycardsquiteadroitlyalldaytoavoida tête-à-tête interviewwith Sydney. Iwas careful always to be in the center of a group of two orthree, andwhenhe askedme towalk through the conservatorieswithhim Isaid,"Come,AmyandJane,"andtookthemalong.

Astosomebodyelse,hemadenoattemptofthekind,thoughIcouldseethathesawmewhereverIwent.Dothesecreaturessupposewedon'tseetheireyes, and fancy that they conceal their feelings? I am perfectly certain thatwhateverthematteris,hethinksasmuchofmeaseverhedid.

Well,itwasmoonlightandmusicallthewayhome,thebandplayingthemost heart-breaking, entrancing harmonies from Beethoven and melodiesfromSchubert,andthenWatSydneyannoyedmebeyondmeasurebykeepingup a distracting chit-chat when I wanted to be quiet and listen. He caresnothingformusic,andpeoplewhodon'tarelikeflies,theyhavenomercyandnever will leave you a quiet moment. The other one went off and sat byhimself, gazed at themoon and heard themusic all in themost proper andromanticstyle,andlookedlikeahandsometenoratanopera.

Sofar,mydear,thehistoryofouraffairs.Butsomethingmoresurprising

thaneveryouheardhasjusthappened,andImusthastentojotitdown.

Yesterdayafternoon,beingworriedandweariedwiththedaybefore,Ileftyourletter,asyousee,andteasedIdatogooutdrivingwithmeinthePark.ShehadpromisedEffieSt.Cleretosketchsomepatternsofarborsandgardenseatsthatarethere,forhernewplaceatFernValley,andIhadresolvedonalonelyrambletoclearmyheartandbrain.

Moreover, the last timeIwas there Isawfromoneof thebridgesaverypretty cascade falling into a charming little wooded lake in the distance. Iresolved to go in search of this same cascade which is deep in a shadylabyrinthofpaths.

Well, it was a most lovely perfect day, and we left our carriage at theterraceandstartedoffforourramble,Idawithhersketch-bookinhand.Shewasverysoonhardatworkatarusticsummer-housewhileIplungedintoawoodytangleofpathsguidedonlybythedistantsoundofthecascades.Itwastowardeveningandthepathsseemedquitesolitary,forImetnotacreature.Imight really have thought I was among the ferns and white birches up inConway, or anywhere in themountains, itwas so perfectlymossy andwildand solitary. A flock of wild geese seemed to be making an odd sort ofoutlandishnoise,farinadeep,darktangleofbushes,anditappearedtometoproducetheimpressionofuttersolitudemorethananythingelse.Evidentlyitwasasortofwild lair seldominvaded. I stillheard thenoiseof thecascadethrough a thicket of leaves, but could not get a sight of it. Sometimes itseemednearandsometimesfaroff,butatlastIthoughtIhituponawindingpaththatseemedtopromisetotakemetoit.ItwoundroundadeclivityandIcouldtellbythesoundIwasapproachingthewater.Iwasquiteanimatedandran forward till a sudden turn broughtme to the head of the cascadewheretherewasarailingandoneseat,andasIcamerunningdownIsawsuddenlyamanwithabookinhishandsittingonthisseat,anditwasMr.Henderson.

Heroseupwhenhesawmeandlookedpale,butanexpressionofperfectlyrapturousdelightpassedoverhisfaceasIcheckedmyselfastonished.

"Miss Van Arsdel!" he said. "To what happy fate do I owe this goodfortune!"

I recoveredmyselfandsaid that"Iwasnotawareofanyparticulargoodfortuneinthecase."

"Nottoyou,perhaps,"hesaid,"buttome.Ihaveseennothingofyouforsolong,"headded,ratherpiteously.

"TherehasbeennothingthatIamawareoftopreventyourseeingme,"Isaid."IfMr.Hendersonchoosestomakehimselfstrangetohisfriendsitishisown affair." He looked confused and murmured something about "many

engagementsandbusiness."

"Mr.Henderson,youwillexcuseme,"saidI,resolvednottohavethissortofthinggoonanylonger."Youhavealwaysbeentreatedatourhouseasanintimateandvaluedfriend;oflateyouseemtoprefertoactlikeaceremoniousstranger."

"Indeed, you mistake me, entirely, Miss Van Arsdel," he said, eagerly."Youmustknowmyfeelings;youmustappreciatemyreasons;youseewhyIcannotandoughtnot."

"Iamquiteinthedarkastoboth,"Isaid."Icannotseeanyreasonwhyweshouldnotbeontheoldfooting,Iamsure.Youhaveactedoflateasifyouwereafraid tomeetme; it is allperfectlyunaccountable tome.Whyshouldyoudoso?Whatreasoncantherebe?"

"Because,"hesaid,withasortofdesperation,"because I loveyou,MissVanArsdel.BecauseIalwaysshallloveyoutoowelltoassociatewithyouasthewifeorbetrothedbrideofanotherman."

"There is no occasion you should,Mr.Henderson. I am not, so far as Iunderstand,eitherwifeorbetrothedtoanyman,"Isaid.

Helookedperfectlythunderstruck.

"YetIhearditfromthebestauthority."

"Fromwhatauthority?"saidI,"forIdenyit."

"Yourmother."

"Mymother?"Iwasthunderstruckinmyturn;hereitwastobesure.Poormamma!Isawthroughthewholemystery.

"Yourmother toldme," he went on, "that there was a tacit engagementwhichwastobedeclaredonMr.Sydney'sreturn,andcautionedmeagainstanundueintimacy."

"My mother," I said, "has done her utmost to persuade me to thisengagement.IrefusedMr.Sydneyoutandoutinthebeginning.Shepersuadedmetoallowhimtocontinuehisattentionsinhopeofchangingmymind,butitneverhaschanged."

Hegrewagitatedandspokeveryquickly.

"Oh, tellme,MissVanArsdel, if Imay hope for success inmaking thesameeffort?"

"Ishouldn'tbesurprisedifyoumight,"saidI.

Therefollowedasortofelectricflashandaconfusionofwildwordsafter

this—reallymy dear I cannot remember halfwhat he said—only the next Iknew,somehow,wewerewalkingarminarmtogether.

"Whatatalkwehad,andwhatawalkupanddownthosetangledalleys!goingovereverythingandexplainingeverything.Itwasabrightlongtwilightand the great silvermoon rose upon us while yet wewere talking. After awhileIheardIdacallingupanddownthepathsforme.Shecameupandmetuswithhersketch-bookunderherarm."

"Ida,we'reengaged,HarryandI,"Isaid.

"So I thought," she said, looking at us kindly and stretching out bothhands.

Itookoneandhetheother.

"DoyouthinkIhaveanychancewithyourparents?"askedHarry.

"Ithink,"saidIda,"thatyouwillfindtroubleatfirst,butyoumayrelyonEva,shewillneverchange;butwemustgohome."

"Yes," said I, "it would not do to introduce the matter by getting up adomestic alarm and sending a party to drag the lake for us; wemust drivehomeinapeaceable,orderlymanner,"andso,itbeingagreedamongusthatIshouldtrymydiplomaticpowersonmammafirst,andHarryshouldspeaktopapaafterward,wedrovehome.

Well,nowBelle,itisallover—themysteryImean;andthestrugglewiththepowers,thatbidstobegin.Howodditisthatmarriage,whichisathingofallothersmostpersonalandindividual,isathingwhereallyourfriendswantyoutoacttopleasethem!

MammaprobablyinherdayfelttowardpapajustasIfeel,butIamsureshewill bedrowned indespair that I cannot seeWatSydneywithher eyes,andthatIdochoosetoseeHarrywithmine.Butitisn'tmammathatistolivewithhim,itisI;itismyfearfulventureforlife,nothers.Iamtogivetherighttohaveandtoholdmetilllife'send.WhenIthinkofthatIwonderIamnotafraidtoriskitwithanyman,butwithhimIamnot.Iknowhimsointimatelyandtrusthimsoentirely.

WhatalaughIgavehimlastnight,tellinghimhowfoolishlyhehadacted;helikestohavemetakehimoff,andseemedperfectlyastonishedthatIhadhad theperspicuity to readhis feelings.Thesemen,mydear,haveakindofinnocentstupidityinmattersofthiskindthatisrefreshing!

Well,ifIamnotmistaken,therewasoneblissfulindividualsenthomeinNewYorklastnight,notwithstandingtheterrorsofthe'sternparents,'thatareyettobeencountered.

HowIdochatteron!Well,mydearBelle,youseeIhavekeptmyword.IalwaystoldyouthatIwouldletyouknowwhenIwasengaged,theveryfirstofanyone,andnowhere it is.Youmaymake themostof itand tellwhomyouplease,forIshallneverchange.IamasfirmasBenLomond.

Everyourloving

Eva.

CHAPTERXXXV.

DOMESTICCONSULTATIONS.

IntheafternoonafterthecroquetpartyAuntMariaWouvermansandMrs.Van Arsdel, withdrawn to the most confidential recess of the house, heldmysteriouscouncil.

"Well, Nelly," said Aunt Maria, "how did you think things lookedyesterday?"

"Ithoughtacrisiswasimpending,butafterallnothingcame.Butyousee,Maria,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,"thatgirl!sheisthemostpeculiarcreature.Shewouldn'tgivehimtheleastchance;shejustheldherselfawayfromhim.Twoor three times I tried to arrange that they should be alone together, but shewouldn't.ShewouldkeepSusanandJaneSeatonatherelbowasiftheyhadbeengluedtoher."

"It was so provoking," said AuntMaria, "because all the Elmores weretherewatchingandwhispering.ThoseElmoresareinsuchanelatedstateonaccount of the wedding in their family. You'd really think it was a royalmarriageattheveryleast;andtheywhisperaboutandtalkasifwehadbeentryingtocatchSydneyandcouldn't;that'swhatprovokesme!theywereallontiptoewatchingevery turn,andIdid longtobeable tocomedownonthemwithanannouncement!WhatailsEva?Ofcourseshemustmeantohavehim;nogirlatheragewouldbefoolenoughtorefusesuchanoffer;youseeshe'sthree-and-twenty."

"Well, if you'll believeme, Eva actuallywent and gave that croquet pinSydneygaveher toSophieElmore! Ioverheardherurging itonher,andheoverheardit too,andIknowhedidn't likeit; itwassoverymarkedathing,yousee!"

"Eva gave that pin to Sophie Elmore! The girl is crazy. She is tooprovoking for anything! I can't think what it is, Nelly, makes your girls sosingular."

Mrs.Wouvermans, itwill appear,wasoneof that very commonclassofgoodpeoplewhoimproveeveryopportunitytoshowhowverysenselesstheirneighborsarecomparedwiththemselves.Thesoleandonlyreason,asmightbe gathered from her remarks, why anything disagreeable happened toanybody,wasbecausetheydidnotdo,orhadnotdonejustassheshouldhavedoneintheircircumstances.

NowMrs.VanArsdel, thoughconcedingingeneral thatsisterMariawasstrongerandbrighterthanherself,wassomewhatrebelliousundertheprocessof having it insisted in detail that every unfortunate turn of affairs was herfault,andsosheansweredwithsomespirit.

"Idon't see thatmygirlsareanymoresingular thanotherpeople's.Veryfewmothershavebroughtupnicergirlsthanmine.Everybodysaysso."

"AndIsay,Nelly,theyarepeculiar,"insistedMrs.Wouvermans."There'sIdagoingoffathertangent!andMissEva!Well!onething,itisn'tmyfault.I'vedonetheverybestIcouldininstructingthem!ItmustcomefromtheVanArsdel side of the house. I'm sure in our family girls nevermade somuchtrouble.We all grew up sensible, and took the very best offerwe had, andweremarriedandwentaboutourdutieswithoutany fuss.Thoughofcourseweneverhadachancelikethis."

"Now, I shouldn'twonder in the least," saidMrs.VanArsdel, "ifSydneyshould fly off to Sophie Elmore. It's evident that she is perfectly infatuatedwithhim!andyouknowmen'sheartsarecaughtonthereboundveryoften."

"Oh,yes,"saidAuntMaria,"Ishouldn'twonder,justasJeroldMacyflewofftoBlancheSinclair,whenEdithEnderlycoquettedsowithhim.Heneverwould have gone to Blanche in theworld if Edith had not thrown him off.Edithwassorryenoughafterwardwhenitwastoolatetohelpit."

"Ideclare,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,"oneneverknowswhattroubleistillonehasgirlsatthemarryingage!"

"It'sallyourownfault,"saidAuntMaria,"youindulgethemtoomuch.Formypart," shecontinued, "I like theFrenchwayofarranging these things. Itoughtnot tobe left to thechoiceofayoungsillygirl.Theparentsought toarrange for her, and then the thing is settledwithout any trouble.Of coursepeopleofexperience inmature lifecanchoosebetter foragirl thanshecanchoose for herself! Our girls in America have too much liberty. If I haddaughterstobringupIshouldbringthemupsothattheywouldneverthinkofdisputingwhatItoldthem."

"Soyouarealwayssaying,Maria,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,"it'squitesafetosaywhatyou'lldowhenyouhaven'tany,butit'sveryprovokingtome.IonlywishyouhadIdaandEvatomanage."

"IonlywishIhad!"saidAuntMaria."Ishouldhavehadthembothwellmarriedbythistime.Thereshouldn'tbeanyofthiskindofnonsensethatyouallow.I'dsetdownmyfoot.Iwouldn'thaveit.Mydaughtersshouldobeyme.Youlet themmakeaperfectnose-of-waxofyou.Theytreatyouinanywaytheyplease."

"Youalwaysthinksomuchofyourself,Maria,andwhateverhappensyouturnroundandblameme.Iwishtomercyyou'dhadchildrenandthenyou'dsee! People who haven't are always delighted with themselves and alwayscriticisingpeoplewhohave.Ifyouhadafamilyofchildrentomanagethey'dsoonbringyoudown."

"Well,Nelly,you'lljustsee,you'llhavealotofoldmaidsonyourhands,that'sall,"saidAuntMaria."Idaisagonecasenow,andEvaisonthecertainroad.Girlsthataresodifficultandromanticandcan'ttelltheirownmindaresure to make old maids at last. There was Ellen Gilliflower, and JaneSeabright,theymightbothhavehadhousesandhorsesandcarriagesoftheirowniftheyhadtakenofferswhentheycouldgetthem."

"YouknowpoorJanelostherlover."

"Tobesure.Well,hewasdead,wasn'the?andshecouldn'tmarryhim,butwas that any reasonwhy shenever shouldmarry anybody?Therewas JohnSmithsonwould have put her at the head of one of the best establishmentsaboutNewYork, and shemighthavehadherowncoupéandhorses just asMrs.Smithsondoesnow.It'sall thisridiculousideaaboutloving.Why,girlscanloveanybodythey'damindto,andifIhadadaughtersheshould."

"Oh! I don't know,Maria," saidMrs. VanArsdel. "I think it is a prettyseriousthingtoforceadaughter'saffections."

"Fiddlestick upon affections,Nelly, don't youbegin to talk. Itmakesmeperfectly sick to hear the twaddle about it. People in good circumstancesalwayslikeeachotherwellenough,andanygirlcangetalongwithanymanthat putsher in agoodposition and takesgood careofher. If Idahadbeenmadetomarryagoodmanwhenshefirstcameoutofschoolsheneverwouldhavegoneoffatall these tangents,andshe'dhavebeenacontentedwoman,andsowouldEva.SheoughttobemadetomarryWatSydney,itisatemptingof Providence to let the thing drag on so. Now, if Sydney was like SimRivington, I wouldn't say a word. I think Polly's conduct is perfectlyabominable,andifSimgoesongettingdrunkandraisesahelluponearthathomePollymay just have herself to thank for it, for shewas told all abouthim.Shediditwithhereyesopen,butEva'scaseisdifferent."

Atthismomentthedoor-bellrung,andthewaiterbroughtinaletteronasilversalver.Bothladiespounceduponit,andAuntMariasaying,"It'stoyou,

fromSydney,"eagerlybrokeitopenandbeganreading.

"Ishouldthink,sister,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,inaninjuredtone,"Imightbeallowedthefirstreadingofmyownletters."

"Oh,pshaw,don't be sopeevish," saidAuntMaria, pushing it petulantlytowardher."Ifyoudon'twantmetotakeanyinterestinyouraffairsI'msureIdon'tseewhyIshould.I'llgo,andyoumaymanagethemyourself."

"But,Maria,"saidpoorMrs.VanArsdel,apologetically,"onenaturallyhasthewishtoseeone'sownlettersfirst."

"Well,mercyonus,child,don'tbeinapassionaboutit,"saidAuntMaria,"you've got your letter, haven't you?Do read it, and you'll see it's just as Ithought.Thatgirlhasoffendedhimwithherairsandgraces,andheisjustonthepointofgivingherup."

"But,yousee,hesaysthathestilldesirestoproposetoher,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,reading,"onlythatashermannertohimissomarkedhedoesnotwishtoexposehimselftoanotherrefusal."

"Well," saidAuntMaria, "nowyousee,Nelly,afterall, that letter leavesthegameinEva'sownhands.Ifnowshewillbehaveherselfandletyouinvitehimtoaninterviewandtreathimproperly,itcanallbesettled.Theletter,infact, amounts to a proposal in form.Now,Nelly, that girlmust bemade tobehaveherself.IwishIcouldputsomepluckintoyou;youmustbedecidedwithher."

"It'sofnouse,sister,youdon'tknowEva.She'saneasychildtobecoaxed,butshehasaterriblewillofherown.Theonlywaytomanageheristhroughheraffections.Ican'tbeartocrossher,forshealwayswasagoodchild."

"Well, then, tell her just how critical the state of the family is. Shemayhaveitinherpowertosaveherfatherfromfailure.Itmaybejustlifeordeathwithusall.Putittoherstrongly.Itwouldbeaprettything,indeed,ifinsteadof beingmistress ofClairmont and that place atNewport,we should all bedriven to takesecond-ratehousesand live likenobodies, just forher foolishfancies. You ought to frighten her, Nelly. Set it out strongly. Appeal to heraffections."

"Well,Ishalldomybest,"saidMrs.VanArsdel.

"Whereisshe?letmetalkwithher,"saidAuntMaria.

"SheandIdaarebothgonedrivingintheParkthisafternoon,butafterall,sister,IthinkIhadbestmanageit.IthinkIunderstandEvabetterthanyoudo.Shewould domore forme than for anybody, I think, for the child is veryaffectionate."

"Therecan'tbeanybodyelse in thecase,canthere?"saidAuntMaria."IbegantothinkitratherimprudenttohavethatHendersonroundsomuch,butoflateheseemstohavestoppedcoming."

"Iflattermyself,Imanagedhim,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,withcomplacency."Igavehimalittlemotherlyadmonitionthathadawonderfuleffect.AfterallitwasadutyIowedtohim,pooryouth!Evaiswonderfullyfascinating,andIcouldseehewasgettingtoomuchinterestedinher.Ihavearegardforhim.Heisanicefellow."

"IintendedtohavehimtakeIda,"saidAuntMaria."Thatwouldhavebeentheproperthingtodo."

"Well,Maria, I should thinkyoumight have foundout by this time thateverybody in the world isn't going to walk in the ways you mark out forthem."

"Itwouldbebetterforthemiftheywould,"saidAuntMaria."IfIhadhadthebringingupofyourchildrenfromthebeginning,Nelly,andyouhadneverinterfered,Ithinkyouwouldhaveseenresultsthatyouneverwillseenow.ItseemsmysteriousthatProvidenceshouldn'tsendchildrentothosebestfittedtobringthemup.Well,youmustdothebestyoucan.Whattimeisit?Dearme,itisalmostdinnertimeandIhaveanewtablegirlto-day.Iexpectshe'llhave everything topsy-turvey. I'll call round to-morrow to see how thingscomeon."

CHAPTERXXXVI.

WEALTHversusLOVE.

EvaVanArsdelwasseatedinherapartmentinallthattremulousflushofhappinessandhope,thatconfusionoffeeling,whichayounggirlexperienceswhenshethinksthatthegreatcrisisofherlifehasbeenpast,andherdestinyhappilydecided.

"Yes,yes,"shesaid toherself,"I likehim, I likehim;andIamgoing tolikehim,nomatterwhatmamma,orAuntMaria,oralltheworldsay.I'llstandbyhimthroughlifeanddeath."

Atthismomenthermothercameintotheroom.

"Dearme!Eva,child,notgone tobedyet!Why,what's thematter?howflushedyourcheeksare!Why,youlookreallyfeverish."

"DoI?"saidEva,hardlyknowingwhatshewassaying."Well, Isuppose

thatisbecoming,atanyrate."

"Aren'tyouwell?"saidhermother."Doesyourheadache?"

"Well?certainly,nicely;neverbetter,mammadear,"saidEva,caressingly,comingandseatingherselfonhermother'sknee,andputtingherarmaroundherneck—"neverbetter,mother."

"Well,Eva,thenIamgladofit.Ijustwantedafewminutesalonewithyouto-night. I have got something to tell you"—and she drew a letter from herpocket."Here'sthisletterfromMr.Sydney;Iwanttoreadyousomethingfromit."

"Ohdearmamma!what'stheuse?Don'tyouthinkitratherstupid,readingletters?"

"Mydearchild,Mr.Sydneyissuchagoodman,andsodevotedtoyou."

"Ihaven'ttheleastobjection,mamma,tohisbeingagoodman.Longmayhebeso.Butastohisbeingdevotedtome,Iamsorryforit."

"Atleast,Eva,justreadthisletter—there'sadear;andIamsureyoumustseehowlikeagentlemanhewrites."

Evatooktheletterfromhermother'shand,andranitoverhurriedly.

"All no use,mamma, dear," she said,when she had done. "Itwon't hurthim.He'll get over this just as people dowith the chickenpox.The fact is,mamma,Mr.Sydneyisamanthatcan'tbeartobebalkedinanythingthathehasonceundertakentodo.Itisnotthathelovesmesoverydreadfully,buthehas setout tohaveme. Ifhe couldhavegotme, ten toone,hewouldhavetiredofmebeforenow.Youknowhesaidthathenevercaredanythingaboutagirl that he knew he could have. It is simply and only because I have keptmyselfoutofhiswayandbeenhardtogetthathewantsme.Ifheoncehadmeforawife,Ishouldbeallwellenough,butIshouldbegot,andhe'dbeoffafterthenextthinghecouldnotget.That'sjusthisnature,mamma."

"But,Evadear,suchafinemanasheis."

"Idonotseethatheissoveryfine."

"But,Eva,onlylookattheyoungmenthatgirlsmarry!Why,there'sthatyoungRivington;he'sdrunkthreenightsinaweek,sotheytellme.Andthereareworsestoriesthanthatabouthim.Hehasbeenbadineverykindofwaythatamancouldbebad.Andyet,PollyElmoreisperfectlycrazywithdelighttohaveherdaughtergethim.Andhere'sWatSydney,who,everybodysays,isalwaysperfectlysoberandcorrect."

"Well,mammadear,ifitisonlyasober,correctmanthatyouwantmetohave, there's thatMr.Henderson, just as sober and correct, and a great deal

morecultivatedandagreeable."

"How absurd of you, my daughter! Mr. Henderson has not anything tosupportawifeon.Heisagoodmoralyoungman,Iadmit,andagreeable,andhas talent and all that; butmy dear Eva, you are not fitted to contendwithpoverty.Youmustmarryamanthatcansupportyouinthepositionthatyouhavealwaysbeenin."

"WhetherIlovehimornot,mamma?"

"MydearEva,youwould,ofcourse,loveyourhusband.Amanthatisableto take care of you and get you everything that youwant—give you everywishofyourheart—youwouldloveofcourse."

"Well,mamma,Ihavegotamanthatdoesexactlythatforme,now,"saidEva,"andIdon'tneedanother.That's justwhatpapadoesforme.Andnow,when I marry, I want a companion that suits me. I have got now all thebracelets, and jewelry, and finger rings that I can think of; and if I wantedfortymoreIcouldteasethemoutofpapaanyday,orkissthemoutofhim.PaalwaysgetsmeeverythingIwant;soIdon'tseewhatIwantofMr.Sydney."

"Well, now, my dear Eva, I must speak to you seriously. You are oldenoughnownot tobe talkedto likeachild.Thefact is,mydarling, there isnothingsoinsecureasourlifehere.Yourfather,mylove,isreportedtobeagreatdealricherthanheis.Ofcoursewehavetokeepuptheidea,becauseithelps his business. But the last two or three years he hasmet with terriblelosses, and I have seen him sometimes so nervous about our familyexpenditures that, really, therewasnocomfort in life.But, then,wehadthismatch in view.We supposed, of course, that itwas comingoff.And such asplendidsettlementonyouwouldhelpthefamilyeveryway.Mr.Sydneyisavery generous man; and the use of his capital, the credit that the marriagewouldgive toyour father inbusiness circles,wouldbe immense.And then,mychild, just thinkof theestablishmentyouwouldhave!Why, there isnotsuchanestablishmentinthecountryashisplaceontheNorthRiver!Yousawityesterday.Whatcouldyouaskmore?AndthereisthatvillaatNewport.YoumightbethereintheSummer,andhaveallyousistersthere.Andheisamanofthemostsplendidtasteastoequipagesandfurniture,andeverythingofthatsort.AndasIsaidbefore,heisagoodman."

"But,mamma,mamma,itwillneverdo.NotifhehadtheEastandWestIndies.Allthatcan'tbuyyourlittleEva.Tellme,now,mammadear,waspaarichmanwhenyoumarriedhim—Imeanwhenyoufellinlovewithhim?"

"Well,no,dear,notvery;thoughpeoplealwayssaidthathewasamanthatwouldrise."

"But you didn't begin in a house like this, mamma. You began at the

beginningandhelpedhimup,didn'tyou?"

"Well, yes, dear, we did begin in a quiet way; and I had to live prettycarefullythefirstyearsofmylife;andworkedhard,andknowallaboutit;andIwanttosaveyoufromgoingthroughthesamethatIdid."

"MaybeifyoudidIshouldnotturnoutasyouarenow.Butreally,mother,ifpaisembarrassed,whydoweliveso?Whydon'tweeconomize?IamsureIamwillingto."

"Oh, darling! we mustn't.Wemustn't make any change; because, if theidea should once get running that there is any difficulty about money,everybodywouldbedownonyourfather.Wehavetokeepeverythinggoing,andeverythingup,orelsethingswouldgoabroadthatwouldinjurehiscredit;and he could not get money for his operations. He is engaged in greatoperationsnowthatwillbringinmillionsiftheysucceed."

"And if theydon't succeed," saidEva, "then I suppose thatweshall losemillions—isthatit?"

"Well,dear,itisjustasItellyou,werichpeopleliveonaveryuncertaineminence, and for that reason I wanted to see my darling daughter settledsecurely."

"Well,mamma, now Iwill tell youwhat I have been thinking of. Since'richesmaketothemselveswingsandflyaway,'whatisthesenseofmarryingaman whosemain recommendation is, that he is rich? Because that is thethingthatmakesMr.Sydneymore,forinstance, thanMr.Henderson,oranyothernicegentlemanweknow.NowwhatifIshouldmarryMr.Sydney,who,tosaythetruth,dearmamma,Idonotfancy,andwhoisrathertiresometome—andthensomefinemorninghisbanksshouldfail,hisrailroadsburstup,andhisplaceontheNorthRiver,andhisvillaatNewporthavetobesold,andheand I have to take a little unfashionable house together, and rough it—whatthen?Why,then,whenitcametothat,IshouldwishthatIhadchosenamoreentertainingcompanion.Forthereisn'tathingthatIaminterestedinthatIcantalkwithhimabout.Yousee,dearmother,wehavetotakeit'forbetterorforworse;' and as there is alwaysdanger that thewheelmay turn, by andby itmaycomesothatwe'llhavenothingbutthemanhimselfleft.Itseemstomethatweshouldchooseourmanwithgreatcare.Heshouldbelikethepearlofgreatprice,theBiblespeaksof,forwhomwewouldbegladtoselleverything.Itshouldbesomebodywecouldbehappywithifwelostallbeside.AndwhenImarry,mother,itwillbewithamanthatIfeelisallthattome."

"Well,Evadear,where'llyoufindsuchaman?"

"WhatifIhadfoundhim,mother—orthoughtIhad?"

"Whatdoyoumean,child?"

"Mother, Ihave found theman that I love, andhe lovesme, andweareengaged."

"Eva,child! Iwouldnothave thought thisofyou.Whyhaven'tyou toldmebefore?"

"Because,mamma,itwasonlythisafternoonthatIfoundoutthathelovedmeandwantedmetobehiswife."

"AndmayIpresumetoasknowwhoitis?"saidMrs.VanArsdel,inatoneofpique.

"Dearmother,itisHarryHenderson."

"Mr.Henderson!Well,Idothinkthatistoodishonorable;whenItoldhimyourrelationswithMr.Sydney."

"Mother,yougavehim tounderstand that Iwas engaged toMr.Sydney,and I told him, this afternoon, that Iwas not, and neverwould be.Hewashonorable.Afteryouhadthatconversationwithhim,heavoidedourhousealongtime,andavoidedme.Iwaswretchedaboutit,andhewaswretched;butthisafternoonwemetaccidentallyinthePark;andIinsistedonknowingfromhimwhyheavoidedusso.And,atlast,Ifoundoutall;andhefoundoutall.Weunderstandeachotherperfectlynow,andnothingcanevercomebetweenus.Mother,Iwouldgowithhimtotheendsoftheearth.ThereisnothingthatIdonotfeelabletodoorsufferforhim.AndIamgladandproudofmyselftoknowthatIcanlovehimasIdo."

"Oh well, poor child! I do not knowwhat we shall do," saidMrs. VanArsdel,withprofounddejection.

"Dearymother,IwilldoeverythingIcantohelpyou,andeverythingIcantohelppapa.Idonotbelievethereisoneofuschildrenthatwouldnot.AndIthinkitistrue,whatIdaisalwaystellingus,thatitwouldbeagreatdealbetterforusifwehadless,andhadtodependonourselvesanduseourownfacultiesmore.Therearetheboysincollege;thereisnoneedoftheirhavingspending-money as theydo.And I know if papawould tell themof his difficulties itwouldmakemenofthem,justasitwouldmakeawomanofme."

"Well,Idonotknow,"saidMrs.VanArsdel."Yourfatherhasnottoldmeofanyparticularembarrassments,onlyIseeheisanxiousandnervous,andIknowhimsowellthatIalwaysknowwhenhisaffairstroublehim.Andthisisagreatblowtome,Eva."

"Well,dearmother,Iamverysorryitisso;butIcannothelpit.Itwouldbewicked forme,mother, tomarry anyothermanwhen I loveHarry as I do.Loveisnotaglovethatyoucantakeoffasyouplease.It issomethingvery

different.Now,with him, I never felt tired. I always like to bewith him; Ialwaysliketotalkwithhim;henevermakesmenervous;Ineverwishhewasgone;hecanalwaysunderstandme,andIcanunderstandhim.Wecanalmosttell what the other is thinking ofwithout speaking. And I will risk our notbeinghappytogether.Sopleasedo,dearmother,lookalittlecheerfulaboutit.Letmebehappyinmyownway."

"Well,IsupposeImust,"saidMrs.VanArsdel,withadeepsigh,takingupthelamp."Youalwaysdidhaveyourownway,Eva."

"Oh,well,motherdear;somedayyou'llbegladofit.Goodnight."

CHAPTERXXXVII.

FURTHERCONSULTATIONS.

Afterthedepartureofhermother,Evainvaintriedtocomposeherselftosleep.Her cheekswere flushed, andherbrainwas in a completewhirl.Hermother had said and hinted just enough about the financial condition of thefamily to fill herwith vague alarms. Shewalked uneasily up and down herluxuriouschamber,allwhoseappointmentsspokeofwealthand taste;and itwaswithanunpleasantfeelingofinsecuritythatsheregardedthepicturesandstatuesandsofas,andallthecharmingarrangements,inperfectingwhichherfather had always allowed her carte blanche as to money. She reflecteduneasily, that in making all these expensive arrangements, she had orderedsimplywhatpleasedher fancy,without inquiryas toprice,andwithouteverglancingoverabilltoknowtheresult;andnow,shefoundherselfaffiancedtoayoungmanwithoutanyother resources than thosewhichmustcomefromthe exertion of his talents, seconded by prudence and economy. And here,again, offered to her acceptance,was anothermarriage,whichwould affordherthemeansofgratifyingeverytaste,andofcontinuingtoliveinall thosehabitsofeasy luxuryandcarelessexpenses that shecouldnotbut feelwerevery agreeable to her.Not for onemoment did she feel an inclination, or atemptation, topurchase that luxury,and thatease,by thesaleofherself;butstill, when she thought of her lover—of the difficulties that he mustnecessarily meet, of the cares which she must bring upon him—she askedherself,"Wasitnotanactofinjusticetohimtoburdenhimwithsoincapableandhelplessawife,asshefearedsheshouldprove?"

"ButIamnotincapable,"shesaidtoherself,"andIwillnotbehelpless.Ihave strength in me, and I will use it; I will show that I am good forsomething.Iwonderif it is truethatpapaisembarrassed.Ifheis,Iwishhe

wouldtrustus;Iwishhewouldtellusatonce,andletushelphimeconomize.Iwoulddoit;Iamsureweallwoulddoit."

It was in vain, under the pressure of these thoughts, to try to composeherself tosleep;and,at last,shepassedintohersisterIda'sroom,who,withher usual systematic regularity as to hours, had for a long time been in theenjoymentofquietslumber.

"Ida,dear!" shesaid, stoopingoverandspeaking toher sister, "Ida, lookhere!"

Idaopenedhereyes,andsatupinbed."WhyEva,child,notgonetobedyet?What is thematterwith you?Youwill certainly ruin your healthwiththeseirregularhours."

"Oh Ida, I am so nervous I can't sleep! I am sorry to disturb you, but,indeed,Iwanttotalktoyouaboutsomethingthatworriesme;andyouknowyouarealwaysgonebeforeIamupinthemorning."

"Well,dear,whatisit?"saidIda,strokingherhead.

"DoyouknowmammahasjustbeenintomyroomwithaletterfromMr.Sydney.He is coming into the field again, and haswritten tomamma, andmammahasbeen in talking tome till I am just ready tocry.Now, Ida,youknowallthattookplacebetweenMr.HendersonandmeyesterdayinthePark;weareengaged,arewenot,asmuchastwopeoplecanbe?"

"Certainlyyouare,"saidIda,decisively.

"Wellnow,mammaissodistressedanddisappointed."

"Youtoldheraboutit,then?"saidIda.

"Certainly; yes, I told her all about it; and oh, Ida! what do you think?mammareallymademefeelasifsomethingdreadfulwasgoingtohappeninthefamily,thatpapawasgettingembarrassedinhisbusiness,andperhapswemightallfailandcometoruinifIdidnothelphimbymarryingMr.Sydney.Now,doyouthinkitwouldberightforme?Itcertainlycannotbemyduty!"

"Askyourselfthatquestion,"saidIda;"thinkwhatyoumustpromiseandvowinmarriage."

"Tobesure!andhowwicked itwouldbe topromiseandvowall that toonemanwhenIknowthatIloveanotheronebetter!"

"Then,"saidIda,"askingawomantotakefalsemarriagevowstosaveherfamily,orherparents fromtrouble, is just likeaskingher tostealmoney,orforgeafalsenotetosavethem.Eva,youcannotdoit."

"Well,"saidEva,"thatiswhatItoldmamma.But,Idadear,isitreallytrue,

doyouthink,thatpapaistroubledinhisbusiness?"

"Papa is not a man that would speak freely to any woman on businessmatters,"saidIda,"noteventome;butIknowthathisliabilitiesandventuresare terrific; andnothingwould surpriseme less than tohave thiswhole air-castle that we have been living in dissolve like a morningmist, and let usdownon thepavement.All Ihave tosay is, that if itcomes it is justwhat Ihavebeenpreparingforallmylife.Ihaveabsolutelyrefusedtobemadesuchahelplessdollasyounggirlsinourpositioncommonlyare.IhavedeterminedthatIwouldkeepmyfacultiesbright,andmybodilyhealthfirmandstrong;andthatalltheseluxuriesshouldnotbecomeanecessitytome,sobutwhatIcould take care ofmyself, and take care of others,without them.And all Ihavetosayis,ifacrashcomesitwillfindmeready,anditwon'tcrushme."

"But, Ida,don'tyou think itwouldbeagreatdealbetter ifwewouldallbeginnowtoeconomize,andliveverydifferently?Why,IamsureIwouldbewillingtomoveoutofthishouse,andrentit,orsell it,andliveinasmallerone,andgiveupthecarriagesandhorses.Wecouldliveagreatdealcheaperandmorequietlythanwedo,andyethaveeverythingthatIcareabout.Yes,I'd even rather sell the pictures—all except a few—and feel safe andindependent, than to live in this sort of glittering, uncertain way, and bepressedtomarryamanthatIdonotlove,forthesakeofgettingoutofit."

"Well, dear," said Ida, "you never will get Aunt Maria to let ma stoprunningthisracewiththeElmorestillthelastgunfires,andtheshipisreadyto sink; that's thewholeof it. It iswhat peoplewill say, and the thought ofbeingpitiedbytheirset,andbeingbeatenintherace,thatwillgofurtherthananythingelse.Ifyoutalkaboutanydrawinginofexpenses,theysaythatwemustnotdoanythingofthesort—thatitwillinjurepapa'scredit.NowIknowenoughofwhatthingscost,andwhatbusinessestimatesare,toknowthatwearespendingatatremendousrate.Ifwehadanentailedestatesettleduponuswithanannualincomeoftwoorthreehundredthousanddollars,theremightbesomesenseinlivingaswedo;butwhenalldependsonthevalueofstocksthat are going up to-day and down to-morrow, there is never any knowingwhatmayhappen;andthatiswhatIhavealwaysfelt.Fathermadealuckyhitbyinvestinginstocksthatdoubled,andtrebled,andquadrupledinvalue;butnow,thereisacombinationagainstthem,andtheyarefalling.Iknowitgivesfathergreatanxiety;and,asIsaidbefore,Ishouldnotwonderintheleast—nothingwouldsurprisemeless,thanthatweshouldhaveagreatcrisisoneofthesetimes."

"PoorHarry!" saidEva, "itwas the thought ofmy being an heiress thatmadehimhesitatesolong;perhapshe'llhaveachancetotakemewithoutthatobstacle.Ida,doyouthinkitwouldberightandjustinmetolethimtakesuchan inefficient body as I am? Am I quite spoiled, do you think—past all

redemption?"

"Oh,no,darling!"saidIda;"Ihavegoodhopesofyou.Inthefirstplace,awomanthathasstrengthofmindenoughtobetruetoherloveagainstallthepressure that has been brought to bear on you, has strength of mind to doanything that may be required of her. Of course, dear, it will come to thepracticalpointoflivinginanentirelydifferentstylefromwhatwenowlivein;andyoumustcountthecost.Inthefirstplace,youmustgiveupfashionablesocietyaltogether.Youmustconsenttobepitiedandwonderedatasonethathasfallenoutofhersphereandgonedownintheworld.AlltheMrs.Grundyswillstopcallingonyou;andyouwon'thaveanyturn-outinthePark;andyoumayhavetotakeasmallhouseonanunfashionablestreet,andgiveyourmindtothebusinessofcalculatingexpenses,andwatchingoutgoesandincomes."

"Well,now,seriously,Ida,Ishouldn'tmindthesethingsabit.Idon'tcareapennyforMrs.Grundy,norherworksandways.Astothelittlehouse,there'llbethelesscaretokeepit;andastoitsbeingonanunfashionablestreet,whatdoIcareforthat?NobodythatIreallycareforwouldfailtocomeandseeme,letmelivewhereIwould.AndHarryandIjustagreeinourviewsoflife.Weare not going to live for theworld, but for ourselves and our friends.We'llhavethenicestlittlehome,whereeverytruefriendofoursshallfeelasmuchat home as we do. And don't you think, Ida, that I should make a goodmanager?Oh!IknowthatIcouldmakeahousepretty—charming—oneversolittlemoney,justasIgetupaSpringhat,sometimes,outofoddsandends;andIquiteliketheideaofhavingittodo.Ofcourse,poorpapa,Idon'twanthimtofail;andIhopehewon't;butI'msomethinglikeyou,Ida,ifallshouldgotoruin,IfeelasifIcouldstandup,now,thatIhavegotHarrytostandupwithme.Wecanbeginquietlyatfirst,andmakeourfortunetogether.Ihavethoughtofeversomany things that Icoulddoforhimtohelphim.Doyouknow,Ida,—(Iratherguessyou'lllaugh)—thatIbroughthomehisglovesandmendedthemthisveryevening?ItoldhimIwasgoingtobegintotakecareofhim.YouseeI'llmakeitcheaperforhiminathousandways—IknowIcan.Henevershallfindmeaburden.IamquiteimpatienttobeabletoshowwhatIcando."

"To begin, darling," said Ida, "one thing youmust do is, to take care ofyourbody;nolatehourstowasteyourlittlebrain.Andsodon'tyouthinkyouhadbettergotoyourroomandgoquietlytosleep?"

"Oh Ida! I amgoing to be so good and so regular after to-night; but to-night,youknow,isakindofexception.Girlsdon'tgetengagedeverydayoftheirlives,andsoyoumustforgivemeifIdomakearunuponyouto-night.Thefactis,whatwithmytalkwithHarrythisafternoon,andwithmammato-night,andallthefussthatIseeimpending,myeyesarejustaswideopenastheycanbe;and Idon'tbelieve Icouldgo to sleep if Iwere to try.Oh Ida!

Harrytoldmeallabouthismother,andallaboutthathandsomecousinofhis,thathehasspokenofsomanytimes.DoyouknowIusedtohavesuchworriesofmindaboutthatcousin?Iwasperfectlysurethatshestoodinmyway.Andnow,Ida,Ihaveamostcapital ideaabouther!Shewants togotoFrancetostudy,justasyoudo;andhowniceitwouldbeifyoucouldjoincompanyandgotogether."

"Itwould be pleasant," said Ida. "Imust confess I don't like the idea ofbeing'damselerrant,'wanderingoffentirelyaloneintheworld;andifIleaveyou, darling, I shall want somebody to speak to. But come, my dear littlepussy,youmustliedownandshutyoureyes,andsayyourprayers,andtrytogotosleep."

"Youdarlinggoodlittledoctor,you,"saidEva,"itistoobadofmetokeepyouup!There,Iwillbegood—seehowgoodIam!Goodnight"—andkissinghersister,shesoughtherownapartment.

CHAPTERXXXVIII.

MAKINGLOVETOONE'SFATHER-IN-LAW.

Lifehasmanydescentsfromromancetorealitythatarefarfromagreeable.Buteveryexaltedhour,andeverycharmingpassageinourmortalpilgrimage,isa luxurythathas tobepaidforwithsomethingdisagreeable.TheGermanstory teller, Tieck, has a pretty legend of a magical region where weremarvelousgoldencastles,andfountains,andflowers,andbright-wingedelves,livingalifeofceaselesspleasure;butallthiswasvisibleonlytotheanointedeyesofsomefavoredmortaltowhomwasgrantedthevision.Toallothersthiselfincountrywasadesolatewilderness. IhadhadgivenmewithinadayortwothatvisionofWonderland,andwandered—scarceknowingwhetherinthebodyorout—initsenchantedbowers.Thefirstexhilaratingjoyofthemomentwheneverymistroseupfromthelandscapeoflove;whentherewasperfectunderstanding,perfectunion,perfectrest;wassomethingthattransfiguredlife.Buthavingwanderedinthisblessedcountryandspokenthetongueofangels,Iwasnowtoreturntoevery-dayregionsandtry to translate itsmarvelsandmysteriesintothevernacularofmortals.Inshort,IwastowaituponMr.VanArsdelandaskofhimthehandofhisdaughter.

Nowhowevercharming,with suitable encouragement, tomake love toabeautiful lady, making love to a prospective father-in-law is quite anothermatter.

Menarenot as ageneral thing inclined to look sympatheticallyonother

men in love with any fine woman of their acquaintance, and are ratherprovokedthanotherwisetohavethemaccepted."Whatanywomancanseeinthatfellow!"isasortofstandingproblem.Butpossessorsofdaughters,are,afortiori, enemies ready made to every pretender to their hands. My owninstinctsmademeawareofthis,andIcouldeasilyfancythathadIadaughterlikeEvaIshouldbereadytoshootthefellowwhocametotakeherfromme.

Mr. Van Arsdel, it is true, had showed me, hitherto, in his quiet way,markedfavor.Hewasseldommuchofatalker,thoughashrewdobserverofallthatwassaidbyothers.HehadlistenedsilentlytoallourdiscussionsandconversationsinIda'slibrary,andoftentimestothereadingofthearticlesIhadsubjected to the judgment of the ladies; sometimes, though very rarely,interposing little bits of common sense—criticismwhich showed keen goodsense,andknowledgeoftheworld.

Mr.VanArsdel,likemanyofourmerchantprinces,hadcomefromaruraldistinct, andanearlyexperienceof thehardand frugal lifeofa farm.Goodsense,acuteobservation,anability to takewideandclearviewsofmenandthings, and an incorruptible integrity, had been themeans of his rise to hispresent elevation.Hewas a trueAmericanman in another respect, and thatwashisdevotion towomen. InAmerica,wherewehavea cleardemocracy,womenholdthatinfluenceovermenthatisexertedbythearistocracyinothercountries. They are something to be looked up to, petted, and courted. Thehumanmindseemstorequiresomethingofthiskind.Thefaithandfealtythatthemiddle-classEnglishmanhastowardhisnobilityisnotallsnobbery.Ithassomethingofpoetry in it—it ishis romanceof life.Upin thoseairyregionswherewalk thenobility,he isat liberty to fancysomehigher, finer typesofmanhood andwomanhood thanhe sees in the ordinarywaysof life, andheadorestheunseenandunknown.TheAmericanlifewouldbecomevulgarandcommon-placedidnotachivalrousdevotiontowomencomeintosupplytheplaceofrecognizedordersofnobility.Thetruedemocratseesnosuperior inrankamongmen,butallwomenarebycourtesyhissuperiors.

Mr.VanArsdel hadmarried a beauty and a belle.When she chose himfromamongacrowdofsuitorshecouldscarcelybelievehisowneyesorears,orhelpmarvelingatthewondrousgraceofthechoice;and,ashetoldherso,Mrs.VanArsdelbelievedhim,andtheirsubsequentlifewasarrangedonthatunderstanding. The Van Arsdel house was an empire where women ruled,though as the queenwas a pretty,motherlywoman, her reignwas easy andflowery.

Mr.VanArsdeldelightedinthecombinationsofbusinessforitsownsake.Itwashisformofmentalactivity.Helikedtheeffort,thestrife,thecare,thelabor,thesuccessofwinning;butwhenmoneywasoncewonhecarednotacopper for all those forms of luxury and show, for the pride, pomp, and

circumstanceoffashion,whichwereallinalltohiswife.

Inhissecretheartheconsideredthegreaterpartoftheproceedingsinandabouthissplendidestablishmentasaratherexpensivespeciesofhumbug;butthenitwaswhatthewomenwantedanddesired,andhetookitallquietlyandwithoutcomment. I felt somewhatnervouswhenIaskedaprivate interviewwithhiminIda'slibrary.

"Ihavetoldmamma,Harry,"whisperedEva,"andsheisbeginningtogetoverit."

Mrs.VanArsdelreceivedmewithanairofpatientendurance,asifIhadbeenthetoothacheoranyoftheotherinevitableinflictionsoflife,MissAlicewasdistantandreserved,andonlyIdawascordial.

I foundMr.VanArsdeldry, cold, andwary,not in the least encouragingany sentimental effusion, and therefore I proceeded to speak to himwith asmatter-of-factdirectnessasifthetreatyrelatedtoabagofwool.

"Mr.VanArsdel, I love your daughter. She has honoredme so far as toaccept of my love, and I have her permission to ask your consent to ourmarriage."

Hetookoffhisspectacles,wipedthemdeliberatelywhileIwasspeaking,andcougheddrily.

"Mr.Henderson,"hesaid,"IhavealwayshadagreatrespectforyousofarasIknewyou,butImustconfessIdon'tknowwhyIshouldwanttogiveyoumydaughter."

"Simply,sir,becauseintheorderofnatureyoumustgivehertosomebody,andIhavethehonortobechosenbyher."

"Evacoulddobetter,hermotherthinks."

"I amaware thatMissVanArsdel couldmarry amanwithmoremoneythan I have, but nonewhowould love hermore or bemore devoted to herhappiness.BesidesIhavethehonortobethemanofherchoice,andperhapsyoumaybeawarethatMissEvaisayoungladyofverydecidedpreferences."

Hesmileddrily,andlookedatmewithafunnytwinkleinhiseye.

"Evahasalwaysbeenusedtohavingherownway,"heremarked.

"Then,mydearsir,Imustbegleavetosaythatthechoiceofacompanionforlifeisaplacewherealadyhasagoodrighttoinsistonherownway."

"Well,Mr.Henderson,youmayberight.Butperhapsherparentsoughttoinsistthatsheshallnotmakeanimprudentmarriage."

"Mr. Van Arsdel, I do not conceive that I am proposing an imprudent

marriage.Ihavenotwealthtooffer,itistrue,butIhaveareasonableprospectof being able to support awife and family. I have good firmhealth, I havegoodbusinesshabits,Ihaveaprofessionwhichalreadyassuresmeacertainincome,andaninfluentialpositioninsociety."

"Whatdoyoucallyourprofession?"

"Literature,"Ireplied.

He looked skeptical, and I added—"Yes, Mr. Van Arsdel, in our dayliteratureisaprofessioninwhichonemayhopeforbothfameandmoney."

"Itisratheranuncertainone,isn'tit?"saidhe.

"I think not. A business which proposes to supply a great, permanent,constantlyincreasingdemandyoumustadmittobeagoodone.Thedemandforcurrentreadingisjustaswideandsteadyasanydemandofourlife,andthemenwhoundertake to supply it have as certain a business as those thatundertake to supply cotton cloth, or railroad iron. At this day fortunes arebeingmadeinandbyliterature."

Mr.VanArsdeldrummedonthetableabstractedly.

"Now,"saidI,determinedtospeakinthelanguageofmenandthings,"thecaseisjustthis:Ifayoungmanofgood,reliablehabits,goodhealth,andgoodprinciples,hasacapitalofseventythousanddollarsinvestedinafairpayingbusiness,hashenotaprospectofsupportingafamilyincomfort?"

"Yes," saidMr.VanArsdel, regardingmecuriously, "I shouldcall that agoodbeginning."

"Well," rejoinedI,"myhealth,myeducation,mypowerofdoing literarywork,arethiscapital.Theysecuretomeforthenextyearanincomeequaltothatofseventythousanddollarsattenpercent.Now,Ithinkacapitalofthatamount invested in aman, is quite as safe as the same sum invested in anystockswhatever.Itseemstomethatinourcountryamanwhoknowshowtotakecareofhishealth is less likely tobecomeunproductive in income thananystockyoucanname."

"Thereissomethinginthat,Iadmit,"repliedMr.VanArsdel.

"And there's something in this, too, papa," saidEva,who entered at thismoment and could not resist her desire to dip her oar in the current ofconversation, "and that is, that an investment that you have got to take forbetterorworseandcan'tsellorgetridofallyourlife,hadbetterbemadeinsomethingyouaresureyouwilllike."

"Andareyousureofthatinthiscase,Pussy?"saidherfather,pinchinghercheek.

"Tolerably, as men go. Mr. Henderson is the least tiresome man of myacquaintance,andyouknow,papa,it'stimeItooksomebody;youdon'twantmetogointoaconvent,doyou?"

"HowaboutpoorMr.Sydney?"

"Poor Mr. Sydney has just called, and I have invited him to a privateaudienceandconvincedhimthatIamnot,intheleast,thepersontomakehimhappy—andheisoneofthesortthatfeelthatitisofthelastimportancethatheshouldbemadehappy."

"Well, well!Mr. Henderson, I presume you have seen, in the course ofyourobservations, that this isoneof thehouseswhere thewomenrule.YouandEvawillhavetosettleitwithhermother."

"ThenIamtounderstand,"exclaimedI,"that,asfarasyouareconcerned——!"

"Isubmit,"saidMr.VanArsdel.

"Theayeshaveit,then,"saidEva.

"I'mnotsosureofthat,younglady,"saidMr.VanArsdel,"ifImayjudgebythewayyourmotherlamentedtomelastnight."

"Oh,that'sallAuntMaria!Yousee,papa,thisisanageofrevolution,andthere'sgoingtobearevolutionintheAuntMariadynastyinourhouse.Shehasgovernedmammaandalltherestofuslongenough,andnowshemustgodownandImustrule.HarryandIaregoingtostartaneweraandhavethingsall our ownway. I'mgoing to crownhimKing, andhe thenwill crownmeQueen,andthenweshallproceedtoruleandreigninourowndominions,andAuntMaria,andMrs.Grundy,andalltherestofthem,mayhelpthemselves;they can't hinderus.We shall behappy inourownway,without consultingthem."

"Well, well!" said Mr. Van Arsdel, following with an amused eye, apirouetteEvaexecutedattheconclusionofherspeech,"youyoungfolksareventuresome."

"Yes,papa,Iam'Thewomanwhodared,'"saidEva.

"'Nothingventure,nothinghave,'"quotedI.

"Evaknowsnomoreaboutmanagingmoneythanathisyear'srobin,"saidherfather.

"Yetthisyear'srobinsknowhowtobuildrespectablenestswhentheirtimecomes," said she. "They don't bother about investments and stocks and allthosethings,butsingandhaveagoodtime.Itallcomesrightforthem,andIdon'tdoubtitwillforus."

"Youhaveadecidedtalentforspendingmoneymostagreeably,Iconfess,"saidMr.VanArsdel.

"Now,papa, it's toobadforyou toberunningdownyourowndaughter!I'mnot appreciated. I have aworldof undevelopedgenius formanagement.Harry has agreed to teach me accounts, and as I belong to the class whoalwaysgrowwiserthantheirteachers,I'msurethatbeforesixmonthsareoverIshallbeabletosuggestimprovedmethodstohim.WhenIgetahouseyou'llallbegladtocomeandseeme,Ishallmakeitsobrightandsunnyandfunny,andgiveyousuch lovely things toeat;and inmyhouseeverybodyshalldojustas theyplease,andhave theirownway if theycanfindoutwhat it is. Iknowpeoplewilllikeit."

"I believe you, Pussy," saidMr. VanArsdel; "but houses don't grow onbushes,youknow."

"Well,haven'tIsixthousanddollars,allmyown,thatgrandmaleftme?"

"Andhowmuchofahousedoyouthinkthatwouldbuy?"

"Perhapsasbigaoneasyouandmotherbeganin."

"Youneverwouldbesatisfiedwithsuchahouseaswebeganin."

"Whynot?Areweanybetterthanyouwere?"

"No.Butnowadaysnoyoungfolksarecontentedtodoaswedid."

"Then,papa,youaregoing to see anew thingupon the earth, forHarryand I amgoing to bepattern folks for being rational and contented.Wearegoing tostartoutonanewtackandbring in thegoldenage.But,blessme!there'sAuntMariacomingdownthestreet!Now,Harry,comesthetugofwar.Iamgoingnowtoemancipatemammaandproclaimtheneworderofthings,"andoutsheflitted.

"Mr.Henderson," saidMr.VanArsdel,whenshehadgone, "I think it isaboutcertainthatIamtolookonyouasafuturememberofourfamily.I'llbefairwithyou,thatyoumaytakestepswithyoureyesopen.Mydaughtersaresupposedtobeheiresses,but,asthingsaretending,inaveryshorttimeImaybeputbacktowhereIstartedinlifeandhavealltobeginover.Mygirlswillhavenothing.IseesuchacrisisimpendingandIhavenopowertohelpit."

"Mydearsir,"saidI,"whileIshallbesorryforyourtrouble,andhopeitmaynotcome,IshallbeonlytoogladtoprovemydevotiontoEva."

"Itisevident,"saidMr.Arsdel,"thatherheartissetonyou,and,afterall,theonlytruecomfortisinhavingtheoneyouwant.Imyselfnevercaredforfashion,Mr.Henderson,norparties,noranyofthiskindoffussandshowthewomenthinksomuchof;andIbelievethatEvaisalittlelikeme.Iliketogo

back to theoldplace insummerandeathuckleberriesandmilk,andsee thecows comehome frompasture, and sit in father's old arm-chair. Itwouldn'ttakesomuchrunningandschemingandhardthinkingandcaretolive,iffolkswereallofmymind.Why,upinNewHampshirewhereIcamefrom,there'sscarcely ever an estate administered upon that figures up more than fivethousand dollars, and yet they all live well—have nice houses, nice tables,givemoneyincharity,andmakeagoodthingoflife."

Therewassomethingreallyquitepatheticinthisburstofconfidencefromtheworthyman. Perhaps Iwas the first one towhomhe had confessed thesecretapprehensionswithwhichhewasstruggling.

"Yousee,Mr.Henderson,younevercantellaboutinvestments.Stocksthatseemtostandasfirmasthefoundationsoftheearth,thattheveryoldestandshrewdest and longest-headedput into, rundownanddepreciate—andwhentheygetrunningyoucan'tdrawout,yousee.NowIadvancedcapitalforthenew Lightning Line Railroad to the amount of two hundred thousand, andpledgedmyGuatemalastockforthemoney,andthenarosethiscombinationagainst theGuatemala stock, and it has fallen to a fourth of its value in sixmonths,andittakesheavyrowing—heavy.I'dagreatdealratherbeinfather'soldplace,withanestateoffive thousanddollars,andreadmynewspaper inpeace,thantohaveallIhavewiththemiseryofmanagingit.ImayworkoutandImaynot."

CHAPTERXXXIX.

ACCEPTEDANDENGAGED.

And so at last I was accepted, and my engagement with Eva wasrecognizedasafaitaccompli.

In the familyofmybetrothedwereall shadesofacquiescence.Mrs.VanArsdel was pensively resigned to me as a mysterious dispensation ofProvidence.Mr.VanArsdel,thoughnotinanywaydemonstrative,showedanevidentdispositiontoenterintoconfidentialrelationswithme.Idawaswhole-heartedandcordial;andAlice,afteralittlereconnoitering,joinedourpartyasagay,generousyounggirl,naturallydisposedtomakethebestofthings,andfavorablyinclinedtowardtheinterestsofyounglovers.

Mr. Trollope, in The SmallHouse atAllington, represents a youngmanjustengaged,asfeelinghimselfintheawkwardpositionofacaptiveledoutintriumph, for exhibition.The lady andher friends are spokenof asmarchinghimforthwithcomplacency,likeaprizeoxwithribbonsinhishorns,unable

torepresstheexhibitionoftheirdelightinhavingentrappedhim.Onewouldinfer from this picture of life such a scarcity of marriageable men that thecapture even of such game as young Crosbie, who is represented to be anuntitledyoungman,withoutfortuneorprinciple,isanoccasionoftriumph.

Inourlatitudes,weofthestrongersexarenottaughttoregardourselvesassuch overpoweringly delightful acquisitions, and the declaration of anengagementisnotwithusregardedasevidenceofalady'sskillinhunting.Ididnot,asyoungCrosbieissaidtohavedone,feelmyselfsomehowcaught.Onthecontrary,Iwaslost inwonderatmygoodfortune.IfIhadfoundthepotofgoldattheendoftherainbow,orduguptheburiedtreasuresofCaptainKidd,Icouldnothaveseemedtomyselfmoreasonewhodreamed.

Iwroteallabout it tomymother,who, ifshe judgedbymyletters,musthavebelieved"Hesperianfables"trueforthefirsttimeintheworld,andthatawoman had been specially made and created out of all impossible andfabulouselementsofjoy.Thechild-wifeofmyearlydays,thedream-wifeofmyyouth,werebothliving,moving,breathinginthiswonderfulreality.Itriedtodisguisemygoodfortune—towalksoberlyandbehavemyselfamongmenasifIweresensibleandrational,andnotdazedandenchanted.Ifeltmyselforbed inamagicalcircle,outofwhichI lookedpityinglyoneverybodythatwas not I. A spirit of universalmatch-making benevolence possessedme. Iwanted everybody I liked to be engaged. I pitied andmade allowances foreverybody thatwasnot.Howcould theybehappyorgood thathadnotmyfortune?Theyhadnot,theynevercouldhave,anEva.TherewasbutoneEva,andIhadher!

Iwokeeverymorningwithastrange,newthrillofjoy.Wasitso?Wasshestill inthisworld,orhadthis impossible,strangemirageofblissrisenlikeamist and floated heavenward? I trembled when I thought how frail a thinghuman life is. Was it possible that she might die? Was it possible that anaccident in a railroad car, a waft of drapery toward an evening lamp, athoughtless false step, amistake in a doctor's prescription,might cause thislovely life tobreak likeabubble,andbeutterlygone,and therebenomoreEva, never, nevermore on earth? The very intensity of love and hopesuggestedthepossibilityofthedreadfultragedythateverymomentunderlieslife;thatwitheveryjoyconnectsthepossibilityofaproportionedpain.Surelylove,ifnothingelse,inclinesthesoultofeelitshelplessnessandbeprayerful,toplaceitstreasuresinaFather'shand.

Sometimesitseemedtometoomuchtohopefor,thatsheshouldlivetobemy wife; that the fabulous joy of possession should ever be mine. EachmorningIleftmybunchoffreshvioletswithagreetinginitatherdoor,andassuredmyselfthattheearthyetretainedher,andalldaylongIworkedwiththeunder-thoughtofthelittleboudoirwhereIshouldmeetherintheevening.

WhosaysmodernNewYorklifeisprosaic?Theeverlastingpoemofmanandwoman is as fresh there at this hour as among the crocuses and violets ofEden.

A graceful writer, in one of our late magazines, speaks of the freedomwhichayoungmanfeelswhenhehasfoundthemistressandqueenofhislife.Heisboundtonootherservice,heisanxiousaboutnoothersmileorfrown.Ihad been approved and crowned bymyQueen of Love and Beauty. If shelikedme,whatmatterabouttherest?

ItdidnotdisturbmeaparticletofeelthatIwassubmittedtoasanecessity,rather than courted as a blessing, by her parents. I cared nothing for coldglancesorindifferentairssolongasmygolden-hairedAriadnethrewmetheclewbywhichIthreadedthelabyrinth,andgavemethetalismanbywhichtoopenthedoor.Oncesafewithherinherlittle"Italy,"theboudoirinwhichwefirstlearnedtoknoweachother,welaughedandchatted,makingourselvesagaycommitteeofobservationonthewholeworldbesides.Wasthereanybodyso fortunate as we? and was there any end to our subject-matter forconversation?

"You have no idea, Harry," she said to me, the first evening after ourengagement had been declared, "what a time we've been having with AuntMaria! You know she is mamma's oldest sister, and mamma is one of thegentle,yieldingsort,andAuntMariahasalwaysruledandreignedoverusall.She really has a way of ordering mamma about, and mamma I think ispositivelyafraidofher.Notthatshe'sreallyill-tempered,butsheisoneofthesortthatthinksit'samatterofcoursethatsheshouldgoverntheworld,andisperfectlyastonishedwhenshefindsshecan't.Ihaveneverresistedherbefore,because I havebeen rather lazy, and it's easier to giveup than to fight; andbesides one remembers one's catechism, and doesn'twant to rise up againstone'spastorsandmasters."

"Butyouthoughtyouhadcometoaplacewhereamiabilityceasedtobeavirtue?"saidI.

"Exactly. Ida always said that people must have courage to bedisagreeable,ortheycouldn'tbegoodformuch;andsoIputonallmyterrors,andactuallybulliedAuntMariaintosubmission."

"Youmusthavebeenterrific,"saidI,laughing.

"Indeed,yououghttohaveseenme!Iastonishedmyself.Itoldherthatshealwayshaddomineeredoverusall,but thatnowthetimehadcomethatshemust letmymother alone, and not torment her; that, as formyself, Iwas awomanandnotachild,andthatIshouldchoosemylotinlifeformyself,asIhadaright todo.Iassureyou, therewaswarmworkfora littlewhile,butI

remainedmistressofthefield."

"Itwasarevolutionarystruggle,"saidI.

"Exactly,—a fight at thebarricades; andas a result anewgovernment isdeclared.MammareignsinherownhouseandIamherprimeminister.OnthewholeIthinkmammaisquitedelightedtobeprotectedingivingmemyownway, as she always has. Aunt Maria has shaken dreadful warnings andthreateningsatme,andexhaustedaperfectbead-rollofinstancesofgirlsthathadmarriedforloveandcometogrief.You'dhavethoughtthatnothinglessthanbeggaryandstarvationwasbeforeus;and themoreI laughedthemoresolemnandawfulshegrew.Shedidn'tspareme.Shegavemeasadcharacter.Ihadn'tbeeneducatedforanything,andIdidn'tknowhowtodoanything,andIwasnothingofahousekeeper,andIhadnostrength;inshort,shemadeoutsuchapictureofmyincapacitiesasmaywellmakeyoutremble."

"I don't tremble in the least," said I. "I only wish we could set up ourestablishmentto-morrow."

"AuntMariatoldmethatitwasungenerousofmetogetengagedtoamanofnofortune,nowwhenpapaisstrugglingwiththeseheavyembarrassments,andcan'taffordthemoneytomarryme,andsetmeupinthestylehewouldfeelobligedto.Yousee,AuntMariaisthinkingofaweddingtwiceasbigasthe Elmores, and a trousseau twice as fine, and a brown-stone front palacetwiceashighandlongandbroadastheRivingtons;andtwiceasmanycoupésandParkwagonsandphaetonsasMariaRivingtonistohave;andifpapaistogetallthisforme,itwillbetheruinofhim,shesays."

"Andyoutoldherthatwedidn'twantanyofthem?"saidI.

"TobesureIdid.Itoldherthatwedidn'twantoneofthesevulgar,noisy,showy, expensiveweddings, and that I didn'tmean to send to Paris formythings. That a young lady who respected herself was always supplied withclothes good enough to bemarriedwith; thatwe didn'twant a brown stonepalace, and could be very happy without any carriage; and that there wereplentyofcheaplittlehousesinunfashionablestreetswecouldbeveryhappyin; thatpeoplewhoreallycaredforuswouldcometoseeus, livewherewewould,andthatthosewhodidn'tcaremightkeepaway."

"Bravo,myqueen!andyoumighttellherhowMad.Récamierdrewallthewit and fashion of Paris to her little brick-floored rooms in the oldAbbey.Peoplewillalwayswanttocomewhereyouare."

"I don't set up for aRécamier," she exclaimed, "but I do say thatwherepeoplehavegood times, andkeep a bright pleasant fireside, and are alwaysglad toseefriends, therewillalwaysbefriends tocome;andfriendsare theoneswewant."

"Ah!wewillshowthemhowthingscanbedone,won'twe?"

"Indeedwewill. I alwayswantedanice littlehouseallmyownwhere Icould showwhat I could do. I have quantities of pet ideas ofwhat a homeshouldbe,andIalwaysfanciedIcouldmakethingslovely."

"Ifyoucouldn't,whocould?"saidI,enchanted.

"Seehere," she added, "Ihave justbegun to thinkwhatwehave to startwith. All the pictures in this little room are mine, bought with my ownallowance;theyaremyveryown.Pictures,youknow,areagreatthing,theyhalf furnish a house. Then you know that six thousand dollars thatgrandmamma leftme!Besides, sir, only think, awhole silver cream-pitcherandsixtablespoons!WhyHarry,I'manheiressinmyownright,evenifpoorpapashouldcometogrief."

Somethinginthistalkremindedmeofthefar-offchildishdayswhenSusieandImadeourplay-housesundertheoldbutternut tree,andgatheredinourstoresofchestnutsandwalnutsandlaidourgraveplansforlifeasinnocentlyas twosquirrels,andI laughedwitha tear inmyeye. I recounted toher thelittle idyl,andsaidthat ithadbeenaforeshadowingofher,andthatperhapsmychildangelhadguidedmetoher.

"Somedayyoushalltakemeupthere,Harry,andshowmewhereyouandshe played together, andwewill gather strawberries and lilies and hear thebobolinks,"shesaid."Howlittletheworldknowshowcheaphappinessis!"

"Tothosethatknowwheretolookforit,"saidI.

"IheardpapatellingyouthathalftheestatesonwhichgoodNewEnglandfamiliesliveincomfortupthereinthecountrydon'tamounttomorethanfivethousand dollars, yet they live well, and they have all those lovely thingsaroundthemfree.Hereinthisartificialcitylifepeoplestruggleandsuffertogetmoneyforthingstheydon'twantanddon'tneed.Nobodywantsthesegreatparties,with their candy pyramids and their artificial flowers and their rushandcrush that tireone todeath,andyet theypayasmuch foroneaswouldkeeponeof those countryhousesgoing for a year. I dowishwe could livethere!"

"Ido too—withallmyheart,butmyworkmust liehere.Wemustmakewhat theFrenchcallan Interiorhere inNewYork. I shallhave tobewithincallofprintersandtheslaveofprinters'devils,butinsummerwewillgoupintothemountainsandstaywithmymother,andhaveitalltoourselves."

"Do you know, Harry," said Eva after a pause, "I can see that SophieElmorereallydoesadmireSydney.Ican'thelpwonderinghowonecan,butIseeshedoes.Nowdon'tyouhopeshe'llgetengagedtohim?"

"CertainlyIdo,"saidI,"Iwan'tallnicepeopletobeengagediftheyhaveasgoodatimeaswedo.It'smysolutionofthewomanquestion."

"Well, do you know I managed my last interview with Sydney withreferencetothat?Imadewhatyouwouldcallasplit-shotincroquettosendhimfrommeandtoher."

"Howdidyoudoit?"

"Oh,don'taskmetodescribe.Therearewaysofmanagingthesementhatare incommunicable.One can play on themas upon a piano, and I'llwageryouapairofglovesthatSydneygoesoffafterSophie.She'stoogoodforhim,but she likeshim, andSophiewillmakehimanicewife.Butonly thinkofpoorAuntMaria!Itwillbethelaststrokethatbreaksthecamel'sbacktohavetheElmoresgetSydney."

"Solongashedoesn'tgetyou,Ishallbedelighted,"saidI.

"Now only think," she added, "this Spring I was drifting into anengagementwiththatmanjustbecauseIwasidle,andblasé,anddidn'tknowwhattodonext,anddidn'thaveforceenoughtokeepsaying'No'tomammaandAuntMariaandalltherestofthem."

"Andwhatgaveyouforce?"

"Well, sir, I couldn't help seeing that somebody else was getting veryprettily entangled, and I felt a sort of philosophic interest in watching theprocess,andsomehow—youknow—Iwasrathersorryforyou."

"Well?"

"Well,andIbegantofeelthatanybodyelsewouldbeintolerable,andyouknowtheysaytheremustbesomebody."

"Butmeyoucouldtolerate?Thankyou,forsomuch."

"Yes,Harry,Ithinkyouareratheragreeable.Icouldn'tfancymyselfsittingawholeeveningwithSydneyasIdowithyou.Ialwayshadtoresorttowhistandallsortsofgo-betweenstokeephimentertained;andIcouldn'tfancythatIevershouldrunto thewindowtosee ifhewerecomingin theevening,orlongforhimtocomebackwhenhewasonajourney.I'mafraidIshouldlongquitetheotherwayandwanthimtogojourneysoften.ButSophiewilldoallthesethings.Poorman!somebodyoughtto,forhewouldn'tbeabitsatisfiedifhis wife were not devoted. I told him that, and told him that he needed awomancapableofmoredevotionthanIcouldfeelandflatteredhimupalittle—poorfellow,hetooktoitsokindly!AndafterawhileIcontrivedtoletfallanice bit of a compliment I had once heard about him from a lady, who Iremarkedwasusuallyalittlefastidious,andhardtoplease,andyououghttohaveseenhowanimatedhelooked!Amouseinviewofabitoftoastedcheese

neverwasmoreexcited.Iwouldn'ttellhimwhoitwas,yetIsenthimoffonsuchatrackthatheinevitablywillfindout.That'swhatIcallsendingSophieaballtoplayon.Youseeiftheydon'thaveagreatweddingaboutthetimewehaveourlittleone!"

CHAPTERXL.

CONGRATULATIONS,ETC.

The announcement of my engagement brought the usual influx ofcongratulationsby letterand inperson.Boltonwasgravelydelighted, shookmyhandpaternally,andevenpromisedtoquithishermitholeandgowithmetocallupontheVanArsdels.

AstoJim,heraisedanotablebreezeamongthepapers.

"Engaged!—you, sly dog, after all! Well! well! Let your sentimentalfellows alone for knowingwhat they're about.All your sighing, and poetry,and friendship,anddisinterestednessandall thatdon'tgo fornothing.Up to'biz'afterall!Well,you'vedoneatolerablyfairstroke!ThoseVanArsdelgirlsare good for a hundred thousand down, and the rest will come in the will.Well,joytoyoumyboy!Rememberyouroldgrandfather."

NowtherewasnosortofuseingoingintohighheroicswithJim,andIhadtoresignmyselftobeingcongratulatedasasuccessfulfortunehunter,athingagainstwhichallmyresolutionandallmypridehadalwaysbeendirected.Ihad every appearance of being caught in the fact, and Jimwas prepared tomakethemostofthesituation.

"I declare, Hal," he said, perching himself astride a chair, "such thingsmakeafellowfeelsolemn.Weneverknowwhenourturnmaycome.Nobodyfeels safe a minute; it's you to-day and me to-morrow. I may be engagedbeforetheweekisout—whoknows!"

"If nothing worse than that happens to you, you needn't be frightened,"saidI."Bettertryyourluck.Idon'tfinditbadtotakeatall."

"Oh,butthinkoftheconsequences,man!Weddingjourney,bandboxesandparasols to look after; beefsteaks and coffee for two; house rent and watertaxes;marketing,groceries;allcomingdownonyoulikeathousandofbrick!And then 'My dear,won't you see to this?' and 'My dear, have you seen tothat?'and'Mydear,whatmakesyouletitrain?'and'Mydear,howmanytimesmustItellyouIdon'tlikehotweather?'and'Mydear,won'tyoujuststepoutandgetme thenewmoonandsevenstars to trimmybonnet?'That'swhat I

callgettingafellowintobusiness!It'sasolemnthing,Hal,nowItellyou,thisgettingmarried!"

"Ifitmakesyousolemn,Jim,Ishallbelieveit,"Isaid.

"Well,whenisittocomeoff?Whenistheblissfulday?"

"Notimefixedasyet,"saidI.

"Why not?You ought to drive things.Nothing under heaven towait forexcepttosendtoParisforthefolderols.Well,Ishallcallupandcongratulate.IfMissAlicetherewouldtakeme,theremightbeapairofus.Wouldn'titbejolly?Isay,Hal,howdidyougetitoff?"

"Getwhatoff?"

"Why,thequestion."

"You'llhavetodrawonyourimaginationforthat,Jim."

"I tellyouwhat,Harry,Iwon'toffermyself toagirlonuncertainties. I'dpumplikethunderfirstandfindoutwhethershe'dhavemeornot."

"Ifancy,"saidI,"thatifyouundertakethatprocesswithMissAlice,you'llhaveyourmatch.IthinkshehasasmanyvariationsofyesandnoasaFrenchwoman."

"Shedoesn'tcatchthischild,"saidJim,"thoughshe'smag.andnomistake.Soberly,she'soneofthenicestgirlsinNewYork—butJim'stimeisn'tcomeyet.

'Oh,no,no!notforJoe,

NotforJoseph,ifheknowsit,

Oh,dear,no!'

Sonow,Hal,don'tdisturbmymindwiththesetrifles.I'vegotthreebookstoreviewbeforedinner,andonlyanhourandahalftodoitin."

In my secret heart I began to wish that the embarrassments that werehangingover theVanArsdel fortuneswould culminate and come to a crisisoneway or another, so that our positionmight appear to theworldwhat itreallywas.Mr.VanArsdel'scommunications tomewereso farconfidentialthatIdidnotfeelthatIcouldalludetotherealstateofthingsevenwithmymostintimatefriends;sothatwhileIwaslookeduponfromtheoutsideastheprospectivewinnerofanheiress,EvaandIweremakingallourcalculationsforthefutureonthefootingofthestrictestprudenceandeconomy.Everybodywaslookingforsplendorandfestivities;wewereenactingasecretpastoral,inwhichweforsookthegrandeursoftheworldtowanderforthhandinhandinpathsofsimplicityandfrugality.

Aweek after this I received a note fromCarolinewhich announced herarrival in the city, and I lost no time in waiting on her and receiving hercongratulationsonmygoodfortune.EvaandIdaVanArsdelwerepromptincalling upon her, and the three struck up a friendshipwhich grewwith thattropical rapidity and luxuriance characteristic of the attachments ofwomen.IdaandCarolinebecomeatoncebosomfriends.

"I'msoglad,"Evacommented tome,"becauseyouandIare togethersomuchnowthatIwasafraidIdamightfeelalittleoutinthecold;Ihavebeenherpetandstand-by.Thefactis,I'mlikethatchemicalthingthatdyerscallamordant—somethingthathasanaffinityfortwodifferentcolorsthathavenoaffinityforeachother.I'mjustenoughlikemammaandjustenoughlikeIdatoholdthetwotogether.Theybothtellmeeverything,andneitherofthemcandowithoutme."

"Icanwellbelievethat,"saidI,"itisanexperienceinwhichIsympathize.But Iamcoming innow, like the thirdpower inachemicalcombination, todrawyouawayfromboth.Ishouldn'tthinkthey'dlikeit."

"Oh,well, it's thewayof nature!Mamma left hermother for papa—butIda!—I'mgladforhertohavesoniceafriendstepinjustnow—onethathasallherpeculiartastesandmotives.IwishshecouldgotoParisandstudywithIdawhenshegoesnextyear.Doyouknow,Harry, Iused to thinkyouwereengagedtothiscousinofyours?Whyweren'tyou?"

"Sheneverwouldhavehadme,—herheartwasgonetosomebodyelse."

"Whyisn'tshemarried,then?"

"Oh!thecourseoftruelove,youknow."

"Tellmeallaboutit."

"Shenevermademeherconfidant,"saidI,evasively.

"Tellmewhoitwas,atallevents,"demandedshe.

"Bolton."

"What!thatserious,elegantBoltonthatyoubroughttocallonustheothernight!Wealllikedhimsomuch!Whatcanbethematterthere?Why,Ithinkhe'ssuperb,andshe'sjustthematchforhim.Whatbrokeitoff?"

"YouknowItoldyoushenevermademeherconfidant."

"Norhe,either?"

"Well,"saidI,feelingmyselfcornered,"Ithrowmyselfonyourmercy.It'sanotherman'ssecret,andIoughtnottotellyou,butifyouaskmeIcertainlyshall."

"Rightorwrong?"

"Yes,fairEve,justasAdamatetheapple,sobeware!"

"I'mjustdyingtoknow,butifyoureallyoughtnottotellmeIwon'tteasefor it; but I tell you what it is, Harry, if I were you I should bring themtogether."

"Wouldyoudaretaketheresponsibilityofbringinganytwotogether?"

"IsupposeIshould.Iamadaringyoungwoman."

"Ihavenotyourcourage,"saidI,"butifitwilldoyouanygoodtoknow,Boltonisinafairwaytorenewtheacquaintance,thoughhemeantnottodoit."

"Youcantellmehowthathappened,Isuppose?"

"Yes, that is at your service. Simply, the meeting was effected as someothersoffatefulresultshavebeen,—inaNewYorkstreet-car."

"Aha!"shesaid,laughing.

"Yes; hewas traveling upSixthAvenue the other nightwhen a drunkenconductor was very rude to two ladies. Bolton interfered, made the manbehave himself, waited on the ladies across the street to their door assomebodyelseoncedid,—when,behold!aveilisraised,thelightofthelampflashes, and one says 'Mr. Bolton!' and the other 'Miss Simmons!' and theromanceisopened."

"Howperfectlycharming!Ofcoursehe'll call and seeher.Hemust,youknow."

"Thathasprovedthecaseinmyexperience."

"Andalltherestwillfollow.Theyaremadeforeachother.PoorIda,shewon'thaveCarolinetogotoPariswithher!"

"No? I think shewill. In fact I think itwouldbe thebest thingCarolinecoulddo."

"Youdo!Youdon'twantthemtobemarried?"

"Idon'tknow.Iwouldn't say—infact it'sacaseIwouldn't for theworlddecide."

"Oh,heavens!Here'samystery,anobstacle,anunknownhorror,andyoucan'ttellmewhatitis,andImustnotask.Why,thisisperfectlydreadful!Itisn'tanythingagainstBolton?"

"BoltonisthemanImostlove,mostrespect,mostrevere,"Isaid.

"Whatcanitbethen?"

"Supposeweleaveittofateandthefuture,"saidI.

CHAPTERXLI.

THEEXPLOSION.

All! it's too confounded bad!" said JimFellows, bursting intomy room;"yourapplecart'supsetforgood.TheVanArsdelsareblowntothunder.Theoldonehasfailedforamillion.GonetosmashonthatLightningRailroad,andthereyouallare!Hangitall,I'msorrynow!"

AndtosaythetruthJim'sfacedidwearanairofasmuchconcernashisfeatureswerecapableof."Seemstome,"headded,"youtakeitcoolly."

"Thefactis,Jim,IknewallaboutthisthedayIproposed.Iknewitmustcome,andI'mglad,sinceithadtobe,tohaveitoverandbedonewithit.Mr.VanArsdeltoldmeexactlywhattoexpectwhenIengagedmyself."

"And you and Miss Eva Van Arsdel are going to join hands and play'BabesintheWoods'?"

"No,"saidI,"wearegoingtoplaytheinterestinglittleballetof'ManandWife.'Iamtoworkforher,andallthatIwinistobeputintoherhands."

"Hum! I fancyshe'll find thingsonquiteanother scalewhen it comes toyourdividends."

"We'renotatallafraidofthat—you'llsee."

"She'satrump—thatgirl!"saidJim;"nowthat'swhatIcalltherightsortofthing.And there'sAlice!Now,Ideclare it's tooconfoundedroughonAlice!Justasshe'scomeoutandsuchasplendidgirltoo!"

Atthismomenttheofficeboybroughtupanote.

"FromEva,"Isaid,openingit.

Itranthus:

"Well, dearest, the storm has burst and nobody is killed yet. Papa toldmammalastnight,andmammatoldusthismorning,andweareallagreedtobebraveaspossibleandmakeitseemaslightaswecantopapa.Dearpapa!Iknowitwasforushestruggled,itwasforushewasanxious,andwe'llshowhimwecandoverywell.Comedownnow.Mammasaysshefeelsas ifshecouldtrustyouasason.Isn'tthatkind?

YourownEva."

"I'mgoingrightdowntothehouse,"saidI.

"Ideclare,"saidJim,"Iwanttodosomething,andonedoesn'tknowwhat.Isay,I'llbuyabouquetforAlice,andyoujusttakeitwithmycompliments."SosayingJimrandownwithme,crossedtoaflorist'scellar,andselectedthemostextravagantofthefloraltreasuresthere.

"Hangitall!"hesaid,"Iwouldn'tsendhersuchaonewhenshewasupintheworld,butnowafellowwantstodoallhecan,youknow."

"Jim,"saidI,"youarenotameresmooth-waterfriend."

"NotI.'Gofortheunderdoginthefight'ismyprinciple,sogetalongwithyouandstayaslongasyoulike.Icandoyourbooknotices;Iknowjustthesort of thing you would say, you know—do 'em up brown, so that youwouldn'tknowmyideasfromyourown."

ArrivedattheVanArsdelhouse,IthoughtIcouldseeandfeelthetracesofacrisis,by thatmysterious intimation that fills theveryairofaplacewheresomething has just happened. The elegant colored servant who opened thedoorworeanaspectoftenderregretlikeanundertakeratafuneral.

"Miss Eva was in her boudoir," he said, "but Miss Alice hadn't comedown." I sent up the bouquetwithMr.Fellows' compliments, andmade thebestofmywaytoEva.

ShewasintheprettylittlenookinwhichwehadhadourfirstlongtalkandwhichnowshecalledourItaly.Ifoundheralittlepaleandserious,butonthewholeincheerfulspirits.

"It'saboutasbadasitcanbe,"saidshe."ItseemspapahasmadehimselfpersonallyresponsiblefortheLightningRailroadandborrowedmoneytoputinto it, and then there's something or other about the stock he borrowed onrunningdowntillitisn'tworthanything.Idon'tunderstandawordofit,onlyIknowthattheupshotofitallis,papaisgoingtogiveupallhehasandbeginover.Thishouseandfurniturewillbeputintoabroker'shandsandadvertisedforsale.AllthepicturesaregoingtoGoupil'ssaleroomsandwillmakequiteanicegallery."

"Exceptyoursinthisroom,"saidI.

"Ahwell!Ithoughtweshouldkeepthese,butIfindpapaisverysensitiveabout giving up everything that is really his—and these are his in fact. Ibought themwithhismoney.Atallevents, let themgo.Wewon'tcare,willwe?"

"Notsolongaswehaveeachother,"saidI."Formypart,thoughI'msorry

foryouall,yetIblessthestrokethatbringsyoutome.Youseewemustmakeanewhomeatonce,youandI,isn'titso?Now,hearme;letusbemarriedinJune, themonth ofmonths, and for ourwedding journeywe'll go up to themountainsandseemymother.It'sperfectlylovelyupthere.Shallitbeso?"

"Asyouwill,Harry.Anditwillbeallthebetterso,becauseIdaisgoingtosailforParissoonerthansheanticipated."

"WhydoesIdadothat?"

"Well,yousee,Idahasbeenthemanagerofpapa'sforeigncorrespondenceandwrittenall the letters for threeyearspast, andpapahaspaidhera largesalary,ofwhichshehasspentscarcelyanything.ShehasinvestedittomakeherstudieswithinParis.Sheofferedthistopapa,buthewouldnottakeit.Hetoldheritwasnomorehisthanthesalaryofanyotherofhisclerks,andthatifshewouldn'tmakehimveryunhappyshewouldtakeitandgotoParis;andbygoingimmediatelyshecouldarrangesomeofhisforeignbusiness.Soyouseeshewillstaytoseeusmarriedandthensail."

"We'llbemarriedinthesamechurchwhereweputuptheEastercrosses,"saidI.

"How little we dreamed it then," she said, "and that reminds me, sir,where's my glove that you stole on that occasion? You naughty boy, youthoughtnobodysawyou,butsomebodydid."

"Yourglove,"saidI,"issafeandsoundinmyreliquaryalongwithsundryothertreasures."

"Youunprincipledcreature!whatarethey?Confess."

"Well!ahandkerchief."

"Wretchedman!andbesides?"

"Two hair pins, a faded rose, two beads that dropped fromyour croquetsuit,andasleevebutton.Thenthereisadrysprigofmyrtlethatyoudropped,on,letmesee,the14thofApril,whenyouwereoutattheParkinoneofthoserusticarbors."

"Andyouweresittinggloweringlikeanowlinanivybush.IrememberIsawyouthere."

We both found ourselves laughing verymuch louder than circumstancesseemed really to require,when Eva heard her father's footstep and checkedherself.

"There goes poor papa. Isn't it a shame that we laugh?We ought to besober,now,butforthelifeofmeIcan't.I'moneoftheimponderableelasticgases;youcan'tkeepmedown."

"Onemay'aswelllaughascry,'underallcircumstances,"saidI.

"Better,adozentimes.Butseriouslyandsoberly,Ibelievethatevenpapa,now it's all over, feels relieved. It was while he was struggling, fearing,dreading,afraidtotellus,thathehadtheworstofit."

"Nothingiseversobadasone'sfears,"saidI."ThereisalwayssomehopeevenatthebottomofPandora'sbox."

"Sententious,Mr.Editor,buttrue.Nowinillustration.LastweekIdaandIwrotetotheboysatCambridgeallaboutwhatwefearedwascoming,andthisverymorningwehadsuchnicemanlylettersfrombothofthem.Ifwehadn'tbeenintroublewenevershouldhaveknownhalfwhatgoodfellowstheyare.Lookhere,"shesaid,openinga letter,"Tomsays, 'Tell father that Ican takecare ofmyself. I'm inmy senior year and the rest of the course isn'tworthwaitingforandI'vehadanopportunitytopitchinwithasurveyingpartyontheNorthernRailroadalongwithmychum.Ishallworklikesixty,andmakemyselfsoessentialthattheycan'tdowithoutme.And,yousee,thefirstthatwill be knownofme I shall be one of the leading surveyors of the day.Sohaveno care forme.'Andhere's a letter fromWillwhich says, 'Whydidn'tfathertellusbefore?We'vespenteversomuchmorethanweneeded,butaregoingabout financial retrenchmentswith avengeance.Lastweek I attendedtheboatraceatWorcesterandsentanaccountofittotheArgus,writtenoff-hand,justforthefunofit.Igotapromptreply,wantingtoengagemetogoonareportingtourofallthegreatelectionmeetingsforthem.I'mtohavethirtydollarsaweekandallexpensespaid;soyouseeIstepintothepressatonce.We shall sell ourpictures and furniture to some freshies that are coming in,andwindupmatterssoasnottocomeonfatherforanythingtillhegetspastthese straits. Tellmother not toworry, she shall be taken care of; she shallhaveTomandmebothtoworkforher.'"

"Theyaresplendidfellows!"saidI,"anditisworthacrisistoseehowwelltheybehaveinit.Well,then,"Iresumed,"ourweddingdayshallbefixed,sayforthe14thofJune?"

"Howverystatistical!I'msureIcan'tsay,I'vegottotalkwithmammaandallthepowersthatbe,andsettlemyownhead.Don'tlet'ssetadayyet;itsoilsthe blue line of the distance—nothing like those pearl tints. Our drawingmasterusedtotellusonedefinitetouchwouldspoilthem."

"For thepresent, then, it isagreed thatweare tobemarriedgenerally inthemonthofJune?"saidI.

"P.P.—Providencepermitting,"saidshe—"Providence,meaningmamma,Ida,AuntMaria,andalltherest."

CHAPTERXLII.

THEWEDDINGANDTHETALKOVERTHEPRAYER-BOOK.

Ifnovelsaretobeconsideredtruepicturesofreallifewemustbelievethatthe fall fromwealth topoverty is a less seriousevil inAmerica than in anyotherknownquarteroftheworld.

In English novels the failure of a millionaire is represented as bringingresultsmuchthesameasthecommissionofaninfamouscrime.PooroldMr.Sedleyfailsandforthwithallhisacquaintancescuthim;nobodycallsonhiswifeorknowsher inthestreet; thefamilywhohaveallalongbeencourtinghisdaughterfortheirsonandkissingthegroundatherfeet,nowcommandthesontobreakwithher,andturnhimoutofdoorsformarryingher.

In America it is quite otherwise. A man fails without losing friends,neighbors, and the consideration of society.Hemoves into amodest house,finds somemeans of honest livelihood, and everybody calls on his wife asbefore. Friends and neighbors as they have opportunity are glad to stretchforth ahelpinghand, and ayoung fellowwho shouldbreakhis engagementwiththedaughteratsuchacrisiswouldsimplybescoutedasinfamous.

Americans have been calledworshipers of the almighty dollar, and theycertainly are not backward in that species of devotion, but still these well-knownfactsshowthatourworshipisnot,afterall,soabsoluteasthatofotherquartersoftheworld.

Mr. VanArsdel commanded the respect and sympathy of the influentialmenofNewYork.Theinflexiblehonestyandhonorwithwhichhegaveupallthings tohis creditorswon sympathy, and therewas aunited effortmade toprocureforhimanappointmentintheCustomHouse,whichwouldgivehimacomfortable income. In short, by the time thatmywedding-day arrived, thefamily might be held as having fallen from wealth into competence. ThesplendidestablishmentonFifthAvenuewastobesold.Itwas,infact,alreadyadvertised,andourweddingwas tobe the lastactof thefamilydramain it.Afterthatweweretogotomymother's,inthemountainsofNewHampshire,and Mr. Van Arsdel's family were to spend the summer at the old farm-homesteadwherehisagedparentsyetkepthouse.

Ourwedding preparations thereforewent forwardwith a gooddegree ofgenialityonthepartofthefamily,andwithmanydemonstrationsofsympathyand interest on the part of friends and relations. A genuine love-marriagealwaysandeverywhereevokesasortofinstinctivewarmthandsympathy.Themostworldlyare fondofpatronizing itasadelightful folly,andasEvahad

beenoneofthemostpopulargirlsofhersetshewasfloodedwithpresents.

Andnowthedayofdayswasathand,andforthelasttimeIwentupthestepsoftheVanArsdelmansiontospendalasteveningwithEvaVanArsdel.

Shemetmeatthedoorofherboudoir:"Harry,hereyouare!oh,Ihavenoendofthingstotellyou!—thedoorbellhasbeenringingallday,andaperfectstorm of presents.We have duplicates of all the things that nobody can dowithout.Ibelievewehavesixpie-knivesandfoursugar-siftersandthreeegg-boilersandthreechinahenstositoneggs,andaperfectmeteoricshowerofsalt-cellars.Icouldn'tevencountthem."

"Ohwell!Salt is thesymbolofhospitality,"saidI,"sowecan'thavetoomany."

"And look here,Harry, thewedding-dress has come home. Think of theunheard-of incomprehensiblevirtueofTullegig! Idon't thinksheeverhadathingdoneintimebeforeinherlife.Beholdnow!"

Sure enough! beforeme, arranged on a chairwas amisty and visionarypageantofvaporytulleandshimmeringsatin.

"All this is Ida'sgift.She insisted that she alonewoulddressme formywedding, andpoorTullegig actuallyhasoutdoneherself andworkedover itwith tears inher eyes.Good soul! shehas aheartbehindallher finery, andreallyseemstotaketomeespecially,perhapsbecauseI'vebeensuchamodelofpatienceinwaitingatherdoors,andneverscoldedherforanyofhertricks.Infact,wegirlshavebeenasgoodasanannuitytoTullegig;nowondershemournsoverus.Doyouknow,Harry,thepooroldthingactuallykissedme!"

"I'mnotintheleastsurprisedatherwantingthatprivilege,"saidI.

"Well, I felt rather tender toward her. I believe it's Dr. Johnson orsomebodyelsewhosaystherearefewthings,notpurelyevil,ofwhichwecansaywithout emotion, 'This is the last!'AndTullegig is by nomeans a pureevil.Thisisprobablythelastofher—withme.Butcome,youdon'tsaywhatyouthinkofit.Whatisitlike?"

"Like a vision, like the clouds of morning, like the translation robes ofsaints,likeimpossibleundreamedmysteriesofbliss.Ifeelasiftheymightalldissolveawayandbegonebeforeto-morrow."

"Oh, shocking, Harry! youmustn't take such indefinite cloudy views ofthings.Youmust learn to appreciatedetails.Openyour eyes, and learnnowthatTullegigoutofspecial loveandgracehasadornedmydresswithanewstyleoftrimmingthatnotoneofthegirlshaseverhadorseenbefore.Itisanoriginalcompositionofherown.Isn'titblissful,now?"

"Extremelyblissful,"saidI,obediently.

"Youdon'tadmire,—youarenothalfawake."

"I do admire—wonder—adore—anything else that you like—but I can'thelp feeling that it is all a vision, and that when those cloud wreaths floataroundyou,youwilldissolveawayandbegone."

"Poh!poh!Youwillfindmeveryvisibleandpresent,asasharplittlethornin your side. Now, see, here are the slippers!" and therewith she set downbeforemeapairofpertlittledeliciouswhitesatinabsurdities,withhighheelsandtinytoes,andgreatbowsglisteningwithbugles.

Nothing fascinates a man like a woman's slipper, from its utterincomprehensibility, its astonishing unlikeness to any article subserving thesame purpose for his own sex. Eva's slippers always seemed to have acharacteroftheirown,—aprankishelfingrace,andtheseastheystoodthereseemedinstinctwithlifeastwowhitekittensjustreadyforaspring.

Iputtwofingersintoeachofthelittlewretchesandmadethemcaperanddance,andwelaughedgayly.

"Letmeseeyourboots,Harry?"

"There,"saidI,puttingbestfootforward,abrandnewpairboughtfortheoccasion. "I amwearing them to get used to them, so as to givemywholemindtothesolemnservicesto-morrow."

"Oh, you enormous creature!" she said, "you are a perfect behemoth.Fancy nowmy slippers peeping over the table here and wondering at yourboots.Icanimaginethewomanquestiondiscussedbetweentheslippersandtheboots."

"And I can fancy," said I, "the poor, stumping, well-meaning old bootsbeingutterlyperplexedandroutedbytheelfinslippers.Whatcanpoorbootsdo?Theycannotfollowthem,cannotcatchorcontrolthem,andiftheycomedownhardonthemtheyruinthemaltogether."

"Andthegoodoldbootsnevertheless,"saidshe,"areworthfortypairsofslippers. They can stamp through wet and mud and rain, and come outafterwardgoodasnew;andlifttheslippersoverimpossibleplaces.Dearoldpatient long-suffering boots, let the slippers respect them!But come,Harry,thisisthelasteveningnow,anddoyouknowI'vesomeanxietyaboutourlittleprogrammeto-morrow?YouwerenotbredintheChurch,andyouneverweremarriedbefore,andsoyououghttobewellupinyourpartbeforehand."

"Iconfess,"saidI,"Ifeelignorantandabitnervous."

"Now, I'vebeenabridesmaidnoendof times,andseenall thepossiblesthat may happen under those interesting circumstances, and men are soawkward—their great feet are always sure to step somewhere where they

shouldn't, and then they thumb and fumble about the ring, and their glovesalwayssticktotheirhands,andit'suncomfortablegenerally.Nowdon't,Ibegyou,disgracemebyanysuchenormities."

"Thisiswhattheslipperssaytotheboots,"saidI.

"Exactly. And here is where the boots do well to take a lesson of theslippers.Theyare'ontheirnativeheath,'here."

"Well, then," said I, "get down the Prayer-book and teach me myproprieties.Iwilllearnmylessonthoroughly."

"Well,now,wehavethethingallarrangedforto-morrow;thecarriagesaretobehereatten;ceremonyateleven.Theprocessionwillformatthechurchdoor; first,JimFellowsandAlice, thenyouandmamma, thenpapaandme,andwhenwemeetatthealtarbesuretomindwhereyoustep,anddon'ttreadonmyveiloranyofmytulleclouds,because,thoughitmaylooklikevapor,you can't very well set your foot through it; and be sure you have a well-disciplinedglove thatyoucanslipoffwithouta fuss;andhave the ring justwhereyoucan layyourhandon it.Andnow let's readover the serviceandresponsesandallthat."

WewentthroughthemcreditablytillEva,puttingherfingerononeword,lookedmestraightintheeye.

"Obey,Harry,isn'tthatadrollwordbetweenyouandme?Ican'tconceiveofit.Nowuptothistimeyouhavealwaysobeyedme."

"And 'turn about, is fair play,' the proverb says," said I, "you see, Eva,sinceAdam took theapple fromEvemenhaveobeyedwomennem.con.—therewasnoneedofputtingthe'obey'intotheirpart.Theonlypuzzleishowtoconstrain the subtle, imponderable, etherealessenceofwomanhoodundersomelaw;sotheobeyisourhelplessattempt."

"Butnow,reallyand truly,Harry, Iwant to talkseriouslyabout this.Thegirlsaresofoolish!JaneSeymoursaidshesaid'begay'insteadof'obey'—andMariaElmore said shedidn't say it at all.But really and truly, that isGod'saltar—andit isareligiousservice,andifIgothereatall, ImustunderstandwhatImean,andsayitfrommyheart."

"Mydear,ifyouhaveanyhesitancyyouknowthatyoucanleaveitout.Invariousmodernweddingservicesitisoftenomitted.Wecouldeasilyavoidit."

"Ohnonsense,Harry!MarryoutoftheChurch!Whatareyouthinkingof?NotI,indeed!Ishouldn'tthinkmyselfreallymarried."

"Well,then,myprincess,itisyourownaffair.Ifyouchoosetopromisetoobeyme, I canonlybegrateful for thehonor; if itgivesanypower, it isofyourgiving,notmyseeking."

"Butwhatdoesawomanpromisewhenshepromisesatthealtartoobey?"

"Well,evidently,shepromisestoobeyherhusbandineverycasewherehecommands,andahigherdutytoGoddoesnotforbid."

"Butdoesthismeanthatallthroughlifeineverycasewheretherearisesadifferenceofopinionortastebetweenahusbandandwifesheistogiveuptohim?"

"If," said I, "she has been so unwise as tomake this promise to amanwithout common senseor gentlemanlyhonor,whochooses tohavehis ownwillprevailinallcasesofdifferencesoftaste,Idon'tseebutshemust."

"Butbetweenpeoplelikeyouandme,Harry?"

"Between people like you andme, darling, I can't see that theword canmakeanyearthlydifference.Therecanbenoobeyingwherethereneverisanycommanding, and as to commanding you I should as soon think ofcommandingthesunandmoon."

"Well; but you know we shall not always think alike or want the samething."

"Thenwewill talkmatters over, and the one that gives the best reasonsshallprevail.YouandIwillbelikeanyother twodearfriendswhoagreetocarryonanyenterprisetogether,weshalldiscussmatters,andsometimesoneandsometimestheotherwillprevail."

"But,Harry,thismatterpuzzlesme.WhyisthereacommandintheBiblethatwivesshouldalwaysobey?Verymanytimesindomesticaffairs,certainly,thewomanknowsthemostandhasaltogetherthebestjudgment."

"Itappearstomethatitisoneofthoseverygeneralpreceptsthatrequiretobe largely interpreted by common sense. Taking the whole race of mantogether,forallstagesofsocietyandalldegreesofdevelopment,Isupposeitis the safest general direction for theweaker party. In low stages of societywherebruteforcerules,manhaswomanwhollyinhispower,andshecanwinpeaceandprotectiononlyby submission.Butwhere society rises into thosehigher forms where husbands and wives are intelligent companions andequals, the direction does no harm because it confers a prerogative that nocultivatedmanwouldthinkofassertinganymorethanhewouldthinkofusinghissuperiorphysicalstrengthtoenforceit."

"I suppose," said Eva, "it is just like the command that children shouldobey parents.When children are grown up andmarried and settled, parentsneverthinkofit."

"Precisely," said I, "and you and I are the grown-up children of theChristianera—allthattalkofobedienceistheoldcalyxoftheperfectflower

oflove—'whenthatwhichisperfectiscome,thenthatwhichisinpartshallbedoneaway.'"

"So,then,itappearsyouandIshallhaveafreefieldofdiscussion,Harry,andmaybeIshallcroquetyourballoffthegroundsometimes,asIdidoncebefore,youknow."

"Idaresayyouwill.Therewasanincipientspiceofmatrimonialvirulence,myfairEva,inthewayyouplayedthatgame!Infact,IbegantohopeIwasnotindifferenttoyoufromthezealwithwhichyoupursuedandroutedmeonthatoccasion."

"Imustconfess itdidmyheartgood tosetyourballspinning,—and thatputsmeinmind.Ihavethegreatestpieceofnewstotellyou.Ifyou'llbelieveme,SydneyandSophieareengagedalready!Shecameherethismorningwithherpresent,thislovelyamethystcross—anditseemsfunnytome,butsheisjust as dead in lovewith Sydney as she can be, and do you know he is sodelightedwiththecompliment,thathehasinformedherthathehasmadethediscoverythatheneverwasinlovebefore."

"Thescamp!whatdoeshemean?"saidI.

"Oh,hesaidthatlittlewitchEvaVanArsdelhaddazzledhim—andhehadreallysupposedhimselfinlove,butthatsheneverhad'excitedtheprofound,'etc.,etc.,hefeelsforSophie."

"So'all'swellthatendswell,'"saidI.

"Andtoshowhisentirepacificationtowardme,"saidEva,"hehassentmethiswhole setofmantelbronzes—clock,vases, candlesticks,match-boxandall.Aren'ttheysuperb?"

"Magnificent!"saidI."Whatanairtheywillgiveourroom!Onthewhole,dear,Ithinkrejectedloversarenotsobadanarticle."

"Well, here, I must show you Bolton's present, which came in thisafternoon,"withwhich she ledme to a pair of elegantly carved book-racksenrichedwith the completeworksofLongfellow,Whittier,Lowell,Holmes,andHawthorne.Theywereelegantlygottenupinauniformstyleofbinding.

"Isn't that lovely?" said she, "and so thoughtful! For how many happyhourshehasprovidedhere!"

"Goodfellow!"saidI,feelingthetearsstartinmyeyes."Eva,ifthereisamortalabsolutelywithoutselfishness,itisBolton."

"Oh,Harry,whycouldn'themarryandbeashappyasweare?"

"Perhapssomedayhemay,"saidI,"butdearme!whogavethatcomicalbronzeinkstand?It'senoughtomakeonelaughtolookatit."

"Don'tyouknowatonce?Why,that'sJimFellows'present.Isn'titjustlikehim?"

"ImighthaveknownitwasJim,"saidI,"it'ssodecidedlyfrisky."

"Well,really,HarrydoyouknowthatIamindeadlyfearthatthatwickedJimwillcatchmyeyeto-morrowintheceremonyordosomethingtosetmeoff,andI'malwaysperfectlyhystericalwhenI'mexcited,andifIlookhiswaythere'llbenohopeforme."

"We must trust to Providence," said I; "if I should say a word ofremonstranceitwouldmakeittentimesworse.Thecreatureispossessedofafriskyspiritandcan'thelpit."

"Alicewas lecturing him about it last night, and the only resultwaswenearly killed ourselves laughing.After all,Harry,who can help liking Jim?Sinceour troubleshehasbeen thekindestofmortals; so reallydelicateandthoughtful in his attentions. It was something I shouldn't have expected ofhim.Harry,whatdoyouthink?ShouldyouwantAlicetolikehim,supposingyouknewthathewouldlikeher?Istherestabilityenoughinhim?"

"Jimisaqueerfellow,"saidI."Onaslightviewhelooksamerebundleofcomicalities and caprices, and he takes a singular delight in shockingrespectableprejudicesandmakinghimselfoutworsethanheis,oreverthinksofbeing.Butafterall,asyoungmengo,Jimisquitefreefrombadhabits.Hedoesnotdrink,andhedoesn'tevensmoke.Heisthemostfaithfulassiduousworker inhis lineofworkamong thenewspaper-menofNewYork.He isagoodson;akindbrother."

"But,somehow,hedoesn'tseemtometohaverealdeepfirmprinciple."

"JimisachildofmodernNewYork—anélèveofherschool.Agoodwifeand a good home, with good friends, might do much for him, but he willalwaysbeonethatwillactmorefromkindlyimpulsesthanfromprinciple.Hewillbeveryapttogoashisfriendsgo."

"Youknow,"shesaid,"inoldtimes,whenAlicewasinfullcareer,Ineverthought of anything serious as possible. It is only since our trouble and hisgreatkindnesstousthatIhavethoughtofthethingasatalllikely."

"Wemayaswellleaveittothegoodpowers,"saidI,"wecan'tdomuchtohelporhinder,only,iftheyshouldcometogetherIshallbegladforJim'ssake,forIlovehim.Andnow,mydearEva,haveyouanymoreorders,counsels,orcommandsforthefatefulto-morrow?"saidI,"foritwaxeslate,andyououghttogetabeauty-sleepto-night."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you I'm not going towear eithermy new travelingdressorhat,oranythingtomarkmeoutasabride;andlookhere,Harry,you

musttryandstudytheoldstaidmarriedman'sdemeanor.Don'tlet'sdisgraceourselvesbybeingdiscoveredatonce."

"ShallIturnmybackonyouandreadthenewspaper?Iobservethatsomemarriedmendothat."

"Yes,and ifyoucouldconjugallywipeyourbootsonmydress, itwouldhaveanextremelyoldmarriedeffect.Youcan read thepaper first, and thenpassittome—thatisanotherdelicatelittlepoint."

"I'mafraidthatinyourzealyouwilldrivemetoexcessesofboorishnessthatwillovershootthemark"saidI."Youwouldn'twantmetobesonegligentof 'that pretty girl,' that some other gentleman would feel a disposition tobefriendher?"

"Well,dear,butthere'sahappymedium.Wecanappearliketworelativestravelingtogether."

"Iamafraid,"saidI"afterall,weshallbedetected;butifweare,weshallbeingoodcompany.Ourfirstday'sjourneyliesintheregularbridalroute,andIexpectthateverythirdorfourthseatwillshowanenrapturedpair,ofwhomwe can take lessons—after all, dear, you know there is no sin in being justmarried."

"No, only in acting silly about it as I hope we shan't. I want us to bemodelsofrationalityanddecorum."

Here the clock striking twelve warnedme that the last day of Eva VanArsdel'slifewasnumbered.

CHAPTERXLIII.

BOLTON.

Ireturnedtomyroompastmidnight,excitedandwakeful.Seeinga lightthroughthecrackofBolton'sdoor,Iwentupandknockedandwasbiddentoenter. I found him seated under his study-lamp, looking over a portfolio ofpapers, someofwhich lay strewedaroundhimopen. Iobservedat aglancethatthehand-writingwasthatofCaroline.Helookedatme.Oureyesmet—aslightflushroseinhischeeksashesaid:

"I have been looking over a collection of writings belonging to yourcousin,thefruitsofthesolitaryyearsofhersecludedlife."

"Andyoufindthem—?"

"Aliterarytreasure,"hesaid,withemphasis."Yes,"headded,"whatthereis here will, I think, give her reputation and established position, and acommandofpriceswhichwillenablehertofullfilherlongcherishedintentionofstudyinginParis.ShewillgooutwithMissIdaVanArsdel,soonafteryouare gone. I can assure her the means, and I have already procured her thesituationofcorrespondenttotheChronicle,withveryliberalterms.Soyouseeherwayisallplain."

"ButwhatshallwedowiththeLadies'Cabinet?"

"O,we'llmanageitamongus.Carolinewillwriteforitoccasionally."

"Caroline!"Therewasagreatdeal in themanner inwhichBoltonspokethat name. It was full of suppressed feeling. Some can express as muchintensityofdevotionbythemereutteranceofaname,asothersbythemostardentprotestations.

I was in the mood that holds every young man on the eve of a happymarriage. I could conceive of no bliss outside of that; and therewas in thesound of Bolton's voice, as he spoke, a vibration of an intense pain whichdistressedme.

"Bolton,"Isaid,imploringly,"whywillyousacrificeyourselfandher?Shelovesyou—youloveher.Whynotanothermarriage—anotherhome?"

Hisfacequiveredamoment,andthensettledfirmly.Hesmiled.

"Hal,myboy,"hesaid,"younaturallyseenothingformanandwomanbutmarriage justnow.But it isnoteverymanandwomanwho loveeachotherwhohavetherighttomarry.Shedoesloveme,"headded,withadeep,inwardbreathing. "She is capable of all that magnanimity, all that generous self-sacrificethatmakewomensuchangelstous——"

"Then,oh!whynot——?"beganI,eagerly.

"BecauseILOVEherdearly,devotedly,Iwillnotacceptsuchasacrifice.Iwillnotriskherwreckingherlifeonme.Thepainshefeelsnowinleavingmewill soon die out in the enthusiasm of a career. Yes, the day is now come,thank God, when a woman as well as a man can have some other careerbesides that of the heart. Let her study her profession—expand her mind,broadenherpowers—becomeallthatshecanbe.Itwillnotimpedehercourseto remember that there is in theworld one friendwhowill always love heraboveallthings;andtheknowledgethatshelovesmewillsaveme—ifIamsalvable."

"If—oh,Bolton,mybrother!whydoyousayif?"

"BecausethedangerisoneIcannotcomprehendandprovidefor.Itislikethatofsuddeninsanity.Thecursemayneverreturn—prayGoditmaynot—

butifitshould,atleastIshallwrecknootherheart."

"Bolton,canyousaysoifthereisonethatlovesyou?"

"Not as a wife would love. Her whole being and destiny are notintertwined with mine, as marriage would unite them. Besides, if there issomewherehidawayinmybrainandbloodtheseedofthisfatalmania,shallIrisktransmittingthemtoahelplesschild?ShallIexposesuchawomantothedangerofsufferingoveragain,asamother, theanguishshemustsufferasawife?—thefears,theanxieties,thedisappointment,thewearing,wastingpain?AsGodismyJudge,Iwillnotmakeanotherwomansufferwhatmymotherhas."

InallmyintercoursewithBolton,Ineverheardhimspeakofhismotherbefore, and he spoke now with intense vehemence; his voice vibrated andquiveredwithemotion.Inafewmoments,however,heresumedhishabitualself-possession.

"No,Hal,"he said, cheerily; "buildno air-castles forme. I shall dowellenough;youandyourswillbeenoughtooccupyme.Andnowshowmefirstwhat I am to do for you while you are gone. Jim and I will trudge to allimpossible places, to look you up that little house with a goodmany largerooms in it, that all young housekeepers are in search of. I will cut outadvertisementsandlookoverniceplacesandletyouknowtheresult;andI'llsee to the proof-sheets of your articles for the MilkyWay, and write yourcontributions to theDemocracy. Ifyouwant tobeourspecialcorrespondentfromtheGardenofEden,whyyoumaysendusbacklettersonyourtrip.Youcan tell us if the 'gold of that land' is still 'good,' and if there are there still'bdelliumandonyxstone,'astherewereintheBibledays."

"Thankyou,"saidI."Ishallsendyouletters,buthardlyofakindtoappearintheDemocracy."

"Whatwithyourengagementsonthatsheet,andwhatIshallhavereadytopile in on you by the time you come back, you will have little time forphilanderingafteryourreturn.Sotakeitoutnowandgetallthehoneythereisinthisnextmoon.Forme,Ihavemydomesticjoys.Finnettehaspresentedmewithacharmingbatchofkittens.Lookhere."

Andsureenough,snuglyensconcedinalarge,well-paddedbasketbythefire, lay madam asleep, with four downy little minikins snuggled to her.Boltontookthelampandkneeleddowntoshowthem,withthemostabsorbedintent. Stumpy came and stoodby the basket,waggingwhatwas left of hispoortail,andlookingasifhehadsomeearnestresponsibilityinthecase.

As to Finnette, she opened her yellow eyes, sleepily stretched out herclaws,purredandrolledover,asifinexcessofprideandjoy.

"Who says there isn't happiness on earth?" said Bolton. "A cat is ahappiness-producingmachine.Hal,Ishallsaveoneofthosekittenstosetyouupwith.Nofamilyiscompletewithoutacat.Ishall takeoneintrainingforyou.Youshouldhaveadog,too;butIcan'tspareStumpy.Idon'tbelievethereisanythinglikehimintheworld."

"Iverilybelieveyou,"saidI.

"Stumpy's beauty is so entirely moral that I fear it never would bepopularly appreciated; besides, poor brute, he is quite capable of dying forlove ofme if I gave him up. That's an accomplishment fewmen attain to.Well,Hal, go to bed now, or you'll be too sleepy to behave respectably to-morrow.Godblessyou!"

CHAPTERXLIV.

THEWEDDINGJOURNEY.

A wedding journey,—what is it? A tour to all the most expensive andfashionable hotels and watering-places. The care of Saratoga trunks andbonnet-boxes.Thedisplayofafashionablewardrobemadepurposelyforthisobject,andaffordingthreealtogethernewanddifferenttoiletsaday.

Verywell.

Doubtless all thismay coexistwith true love; and true lovers,many andardent,havebeenthisround,andmayagain,andbeenandbenonetheworseforit.Forwheretrueloveis,itisnotmuchmatterwhateverelseisorisnot.

Butwhen theSaratoga trunks, the threedressesaday,and thedisplayofthem to Mrs. Grundy, have been the substitute for love and one of theimpelling motives to marriage, or when they absorb all those means andresourcesonwhichdomesticcomfortandpeaceshouldbebuiltduringthefirstyears of married life, then they are simply in Scriptural phrase "theabominationofdesolation,standingwhereitoughtnot."

Yetapartfromthatthereistomeaviolationoftheessentialsacrednessofthe holiest portion of mortal life in exposing it to the glare of everydayobservation. It seemsas if thereweresomethingsowonderfulandsacred inthat union by which man and woman, forsaking all others, cleave to eachother, that its inception requires quiet solitude, the withdrawal from thecommon-placeandbustlingwaysofordinarylife.

Thetwo,moretoeachotherthanalltheworldbesides,arebestlefttothecompanionshipofnature.Carpetsofmossarebetterthanthemostelaborateof

fashionablehotelfurniture;birdsandsquirrelsaremoresuitablecompanionsthanmenandwomen.

Our wedding was a success, so far as cheerfulness and enjoyment wasconcerned. The church had been garlanded andmade fair and sweet by thefloraltributesofmanyfriendlyhands.JimFellowsandoneortwooftheotheracquaintancesof the familyhadexerted themselves toproduceaveryprettyeffect.Theweddingpartywasoneofrelativesandnearfriendsonly,withoutshow or parade, but with a great deal of good taste. There was the usualamountofweepingamongtheelderlyfemalerelatives,particularlyonthepartofAuntMaria,who insistedonmaintainingapurely sepulchralviewofourprospectsonlife.

EversincethefailureofMr.VanArsdel,AuntMariahadwornthisaspect,and seemed to consider all demonstrations of lightness of heart andcheerfulness on the part of the family as unsuitable triflingwith a dreadfuldispensation.

Butthepresenceofthisfunerealinfluencecouldnotdestroythegayetyoftheyoungermembers,andJimFellowsseemedtoexerthimselfparticularlytowhipupsuchafrothandfoamofmerrimentandjollityascausedthedaytoberememberedasoneofthegayestinourannals.

Wehadbutoneday'srideinthecarstobringusuptotheoldsimplestageroute of the mountain country. During this said day in the cars, under thetutelageofmyEmpress,Iwasmadetobehavemyselfwiththegrimmestandmoststatelyreserveofmanner.ScarcelywasIallowedthesameseatwithher,andmyconversationwithher,sofarascouldbeobserved,wasconfinedtothemostunimpassionedanddidactictopics.

The reason for this appeared to be that having married in the verymatrimonialmonthofJune,andourtracklyingalongoneofthegreatroutesoffashionabletravel,wewerebesetbehindandbeforebyenrapturedcouples,whose amiable artlessness in the display of their emotions appearedparticularlyshockingtohertaste.Ontherowofseatsinfrontofuscouldbeseennowamasculineheadlollingconfidentiallyonafeminineshoulder,andagain in the next seat an evident bridal bonnet leaning on the bosomof thebelovedwaistcoatofitschoiceinsweetsecurity.

"Itisperfectlydisgustinganddisagreeable,"shesaidinmyear.

"Mydear,"Ireplied,"Idon'tseeaswecandoanythingaboutit."

"I don't see—I cannot imagine how people can make such a show ofthemselves,"shesaid.

"Well,yousee,"saidI,"weareallamongtheparvenusofmarriedlife.It

isn'teverybodythatknowshowtobehaveasifhehadalwaysbeenrich—letuscomfortourselveswithreflectionsonourownsuperiority."

The close of the day brought us, however, to the verge of themountainregionwhererailroadsceaseandstagesbegin,—thebeautifulcountry,ofhard,flinty,rockyroads,ofpinesandevergreensofsilverycascadesandbrooksofmelted crystal, and of a society, as yet homely and heart-some, andwith acertain degree of sylvan innocence. At once we seemed to have left theartificial world behind us—the world of observers and observed. We sattogetheronthetopofthestage,andsailedliketwobirdsoftheairthroughthetree-topsoftheforest,lookingdownintoallthecharmingsecretsofwoodlandwaysaswewenton, and feelingourselvesdelivered fromall the spells andincantationsofartificial life.Wemighthavebeen twosquirrels,orapairofrobins, or blue birds.We ceased to think howwe appeared.We forgot thattherewereanouterworldandspectators,andfeltourselvestakeninandmadeathomein thewidehospitalityofnature.Highland,wheremymother lived,was justwithin a day's ride of the finest part of theWhiteMountains. Thecloseofacharming leisurelydriveupwardbroughtusatnight toherhome,andIsawhersweetfaceofwelcomeatthedoortomeetus,andgavehernewdaughtertoherarmswithconfidentpride.

Thevillagewassocalm,andstill,andunchanged!Theoldchurchwheremyfatherhadpreached,thehouseswherestill livedthepeopleIhadknownfromaboy,theoldstore,thetavernwithitscreakingsign-post,andbestofall,Uncle Jacob's house, with its recesses and corners full of books, its quietroomsfullofcomfort,itstraditionsofhospitality,andthedeepsenseofcalmandrest thatseemedeverbrooding there.ThiswasaparadisewhereIcouldbringmyEveforrestandforrefuge.

What charming days went over our heads there! We rambled like twoschoolchildren,handinhand,overallthehauntsofmyboyhood.WhereIandmy little child-wife had gathered golden-hearted lilies, and strawberries,wegatheredthemagain.Thesamebobolinkseemedtositonthetoptwigoftheoldappletreeinthecornerofthemeadowandsay"Chack,chack,chack!"ashesaiditwhenSusieandIusedtositwiththemeadowgrassoverourheadstowatchhimwhilehepoureddownonusshowersofmusicaldewdrops. ItseemedasifIhadgonebacktoboyhoodagain,somuchdidmyinseparablecompanionrecall tome thechild-wifeofmyearlydays.Wewerebothsuchperfectchildren,livingintheenjoymentofthebrightpresent,withoutacareorafearforthefuture.

Every day when we returned from our rambles and excursions thebenignantfaceofmymothershonedownonuswithfullnessofappreciationandjoyinourjoy;whileUncleJacob,stilldry,quizzical,andactiveasever,regardeduswithanundisguisedcomplacency.

"You'vedonetherightthingnow,Harry,"hesaidtome."She'lldo.You'realuckyboytogetsuchaone,eventhoughsheisacitygirl."

Eva, after a little experience in mountain climbing, proceeded to equipherselfforitwithfeminineskill.Ourvillagestoresuppliedherwithmaterialout of which with wonderful quickness she constructed what she called amountainsuit,somewhatofthebloomerorder,buttowhichshecontrivedtoimpartasortofairofdappergraceandfitness.Andoncearrayedinthissheclimbed with me to the most impossible places, and we investigated theinnermostmysteriesofrock,forest,andcavern.

Myunclelentmehishorseandcarriage,andwithaluncheon-basketwellstoredbymymother'sprovidingcare,wewentonatourofexplorationoftwoor threedays into themountains, in thecourseofwhichwemadeourselvesfamiliarinaleisurelymannerwithsomeofthefinestscenery.

Themutual acquaintance that comes to companions in this solitude andface-to-face communion with nature, is deeper and more radical than cancomewhen surroundedby the factitious circumstancesof society.When thewhole artificial world is withdrawn, and far out of sight, when we aresurroundedwiththepureandbeautifulmysteriesofnature,theverybestandmost genuine part of us comes to the surface, we know each other by thecommunionofourveryhighestfaculties.

When Eva and I found ourselves alone together in the heart of someprimevalforest,wherethefootsunkankle-deepinacarpetofmoreexquisitefabricthananyloomofmortalworkmanshipcouldcreate,wheretheoldfallentrunksoftreeswereallovergrownwiththisexquisitemossytapestry,andallaround us was a perfect broidery and inlay of flower and leaf, while birdscalled to us overhead, down through the flickering shadows of the pineboughs,we feltourselvesoutof theworldand inparadise,andable to lookbackfromitsgreendepthswithadispassionate judgmenton the lifewehadleft.

Then, theventurewehadmade instrikinghandswitheachother to live,not for thepompsandvanitiesof thisworld,but for the true realitiesof theheart, seemed to us the highest reason. Nature smiled on it. Every genuinegreenthing,everyspicyfragrantbushandtree,everywarblingbird,truetothelawsofitsnature,seemedtosaytous"Welldone."

"Isuppose,"saidEva,aswesatinoneofthesemountainrecesseswhencewecouldgainaviewofthelittlesilverycascade,"Isupposethatthereareagreatmanypeoplewholookonmeasapropersubjectofpity.Myfatherhasfailed.Ihavemarriedamanwithnofortune,exceptwhathehas inhimself.Wecan'taffordtospendourhoneymoonatNiagara,Saratoga,andtherestofthe showplaces; andwe don't contemplate either going to parties or giving

themwhenwegobacktoNewYork."

"Poor,poorEvaVanArsdel!howartthoufallen!"saidI.

"PoorAuntMaria!"saidEva."Ihonestlyandtrulyamsorryforher.Shereallylovesmeinherway—thewaymostpeopleloveyou,whichistowantyoutobehappyindoingastheyplease.Herheartwassetonmymakinganastoundinglyrichmatch,andhavingaweddingthatshouldeclipseallformerweddings,andthenbecomingaleaderoffashionablesociety;andtohavemefailofall this isadreadfulcatastrophe. Iwantsomehowtocomfortherandmakeupwithher,butshecan'tforgiveme.Shekissedmeatlastwithasternandwarningairthatseemedtosay:'Well,ifyouwillgotodestruction,Ican'thelpit.'"

"Perhapswhensheseeshowhappyweare,shewillgetoverit,"saidI.

"No,Ifearnot.AuntMariacan'tconceiveofanybody'sbeinghappythathas to begin life with an ingrain carpet on the floor. She would think it apositiveindecorumtobehappyundersuchcircumstances—awantofapropersenseofthefitnessofthings.Now,Iproposetobeveryhappyunderpreciselythosecircumstances,andtotrytomakeyouso;consequentlyyouseeIshalloffend hermoral sense continuously, and, as I said, I dowish itweren't so,becauseIloveAuntMaria,andamsorryIcan'tpleaseher."

"Isuppose,"saidI,"thereisnomakinghercomprehendtheresourceswehaveineachother—ourloveofjustthisbright,free,naturallife?"

"Oh dear, no!AllAuntMaria's idea of visiting themountainswould behavingroomsat theProfileHousein theheightof theseason,andgazinginfulldressat themountains fromtheverandahs. Idon't thinkshereallycaresenough forany thinghere to riskwettingher feet for it. Idare say thepoordearsoul is lyingawakenightsnow, lamentingovermylossofwhat Idon'tcare for, and racking her brains how we may contrive to patch up a littledecentgentility."

"Andyouareasfreeandgayasanoriole!"

"Certainly I am. All I wish is that we could live in one of these littlemountain towns, just asyourmother anduncledo. I love thehearty, simplesocietyhere."

"Well," said I, "aswe cannot, we can only try tomake a home inNewYork,assimple-hearted,andkindly,andunworldlyasifwelivedhere."

"Yes,andwecandothat,"saidshe."Youhaveonlytoresolvetobefree,andyouarefree.Now,thatisthebeautyofourbeingmarried.Alone,wearepartsofotherfamilies,drawnalongwiththem—entrained,astheFrenchsay:nowwearemarried,wecandoasweplease;webecomekingandqueenofa

newstate.Inourownhousewecanhaveourownways.Wearemonarchsofallwesurvey."

"True,"saidI,"andahomeandafamilythathasanoriginalandindividuallifeofitsown,isalwaysrecognizedintimeasafaitaccompli.YouandIwillbeforthefuture'TheHendersons;'andpeoplewillsaytheHendersonsdothisand that, or the Hendersons don't do the other. They will study us as onestudiesanewState."

"Yes,"saidshe, takingupmyidea inhervivaciousway,"andwhen theyhaveascertainedourlatitudeandlongitude,soilandproductions,mannersandcustoms,theycanchoosewhethertheyliketovisitus."

"Andyouarenotintheleastafraidofhavingitsaid,'TheHendersonsareodd?'"askedI.

"Notabitofit,"repliedEva,"solongastheoddityissomeunusualformof comfort. For example, a sitting-room like your uncle's, with its brassandirons and blazing wood fire, its books and work, its motherly lounges,wouldbeasortofexotic inNewYork,wherepeople,asamatterofcourse,expectapier-glassandmarbleslab,asomberconcatenationofcordandtasselsand damask curtains, and a given number of French chairs and ottomans,veiledwithlinencovers,andageneralfunerealdarknessofgentility.Now,IproposetointroducethecountrysittingroomintoourNewYorkhouse.Yourmother already has given me her wedding andirons—perfect loves—withshoveland tongscorresponding;and I amgoing tohaveabright, light, freeandeasyroomwhichthesunshineshallglorify."

"Butyouknow,mylove,woodisverydearinNewYork."

"So are curtains, and ottomans, and mirrors, and marble slabs, andquantitiesof thingswhichwe shalldowithout.And then,you see,wedon'tproposetowarmourhousewithawood-fire,butonlytoadornit.Itisanaltarfirethatwewillkindleeveryevening,justtolightupourroomandshowittoadvantage. How charming every thing looks at your mother's in that timebetween daylight and dark, when you all sit round the hearth, and the firelightsup thepicturesand thebooks, andmakesevery thing look sodreamyandbeautiful!"

"You are a little poet,mydear; itwill be your specialty to turn life intopoetry."

"And that iswhat I callwoman'sgenius.Tomake lifebeautiful; tokeepdownandoutofsightthehard,dry,prosaicside,andkeepupthepoetry—thatismyideaofour'mission.'Ithinkwomanoughttobe,whatHawthornecalls,'TheArtistoftheBeautiful.'"

CHAPTERXLV.

MYWIFE'SWARDROBE.

Let not the reader imagine by the paragraph on Saratoga trunks thatmylittle wife had done what the Scripture assumes is the impossibility forwomankind,andasabrideforgottenherattire.

Althoughpossessing ideasof greatmoderation, shehadnot come toourmountainhomewithouttheappropriatearmorofwomanhood.

I interpreted thedutiesofahusbandafter thedirectionsofMichelet,andwasmywife'sonlymaid,andinallhumilityperformedforher theofficeofpacking and unpacking her trunks, and handling all those strange andwonderfulmysteriesofthetoilet,whichseemedtomyeyespenetratedwithanineffableenchantment.

I have been struckwith dismay of late, in reading the treatises of someverycleverfemalereformersconcerningthedressofthedivinersex.

Itisreallyincontemplationamongthemtoreduceittoalevelasordinaryand prosaic as it occupies among us men, heavy-footed sons of toil? Aresashesandbows,andneckribbonsandtinyslippersandglovestogivewaytothick-soled boots and buckskin gauntlets and broadcloth coats? To me mywife's wardrobe was a daily poem, and from her use of it I derived thesatisfaction of faculties which had lain dormant under my heavy blackbroadcloth,likethegauzytissueundertheblackhornwingsofapoorbeetle.Inever looked at the splendid pictures of Paul Veronese and Titian in theVenetian galleries, without murmuring at the severe edicts of modern lifewhich sends every man forth on the tide of life, like a black gondolacondemnedtooneunvaryingcolor.Thosegorgeousvelvetsinallthehuesoftherainbow,thosedaintylacesandsplendidgems,whichoncewereallowedtousmen,areallsweptaway,andforusthereremainsnopoetryofdress.Ourtailor turns us out a suit in which one is just like another with scarce anindividualvariation.

Thewife,then,thepartofone'sselfwhichmarriagegivesus,affordsusagratificationofthesesuppressedfaculties.Sheisourfinerself;andinherweappreciate and enjoy what is denied to us. I freely admit the truth of whatwomen-reformerstellus,thatitistheadmirationofusmenthatstimulatestheloveofdressinwomen.Itisafact—Iconfessitwithtearsinmyeyes—butitisthetruth,thatweareblindlyenchantedbythatplayoffancyandpoetryintheir externals, which is forever denied to us; and that we look with ourindulgent eyes even on what the French statesman calls their "fureurs de

toilette."

Infact,woman'sfineryneverlookstoanotherwomanasitdoestoaman.Ithastousacharm,asacredness,thattheycannotcomprehend.

Undermywife's instruction I became an expert guardian of these filmytreasures of thewardrobe, and knew how to fold and unfold, and bring hereverything in itsplace,asshedailyperformedforme thecharmingworkofmaking up her toilet. To be sure, my slowness and clumsiness brought memanybrisklittlelectures,butmygoodwillanddocilityweresogreatthatmysmall sovereign declared herself on the whole satisfied with my progress.There was a vapory collection apparently made up of bits and ends ofrainbows,flossesofclouds,spanglesofstars,butterfliesandhummingbird'swings, which she turned and tossed over daily, with her dainty fingers,selectingabithereandamorselthere,whichwenttoherhair,orherneck,orhergirdle,with awonderful appropriateness, and in amanner tomewhollyincomprehensible; only the result was a new picture every day. This little,artlesstableauwasexpensiveneitheroftimenormoney,andtheresultwasagreatdealofveryhonestpleasuretousboth.Itwasherpridetobepraisedandadmiredfirstbyme,andthenbymymother,andaunt,anduncleJacob,whoturnedherroundandadmiredher,asifshehadbeensomeraretropicalflower.

Now,dotheveryalarminglyrationalwomen-reformersIspeakofproposetoforbidtowomeninthefuturealltheuseofclothesexceptthatwhichisbestadapted to purposes ofwork? Is the time at handwhen the veil and orangeflowersandsatinslippersofthebrideshallmeltawayintomist,andshallwebeholdatthealtartheunionofyoungparties,dressedalikeinswallow-tailedcoatsandbroadclothpantaloons,withbrassbuttons?

Ifthispictureseemsabsurd,then,itmustbeadmittedthatthereisareasoninnaturewhythedressofwomanshouldforeverremaindifferentfromthatofman,inthesamemannerthatthehandofherCreatorhasshapedherdelicatelimbs and golden hair differently from the rugged organization of man.Womanwasmeanttobemorethanaworker;shewasmeantforthepoetandartist of life; shewasmeant to be the charmer; and that is the reason, dearMissMinerva,whytotheendoftimeyoucannothelpitthatwomenalwayswill,andmust,givemorecareandthoughttodressthanmen.

Tobesure,thisrunsintoathousandfolliesandextravagances;butinthisasineverythingelsetheremedyisnotextirpation,butdirection.

Certainlymyprettywife'sprettytoiletshadasuccessinourlimitedcircle,whichmightpossiblyhavebeendeniedinfashionablesocietyatSaratogaandNewport.Shewasbeauty,color,andlifetoourlittleworld,andfollowedbyalmost adoring eyeswherever shewent. Itwas as real an accessionof lightand joy to the simpleways of our household to have her there, as a choice

picture, or amarvelous strainofmusic.Mywifehad toperfection the trulyartisticgiftofdress.HadshelivedinRobinsonCrusoe'sislandwithnoonetolookatherbuttheparoquetsandthemonkeys,andwithnomirrorbutapoolofwater,shewouldhavemadeacarefultoileteveryday,fromthemereloveofbeauty;anditwasdelightfultoseehowafresh,young,charmingwoman,by this faculty of adornment, seemed to make the whole of the sober, oldhouselikeapictureorapoem.

"She is like the blossom on a cactus," said my Uncle Jacob. "We havecometoourflower,inher;wehaveitinus;wealllikeit,butshebringsitout;sheisourblossom."

In fact, it was charming to see the delight of the two sober, elderlymatrons,mymother andmy aunt, in turning over and surveying the prettythingsofhertoilet.Mymother,withallherdelicatetastesandloveoffinenessand exquisiteness, had lived in these respects the self-denied life of a poorcountry minister, who never has but one "best pocket handkerchief," andwhomonepairofglovesmustlastthroughayear.Itwasafreshlittlesceneofdelighttoseethetwoway-wornmatronsinthecalm,silverytwilightoftheiroldage,sittinglikeapairofamicabledovesonthetrunksinourroom,whilemywifedisplayedtothemallherlittlestoreoffineries,andallthreechattedthemoverwithaswhole-heartedazealasiffinerywereoneofthefinalendsincreation.

Everymorning itwasapartof the familybreakfast toadmiresomenewdeviceofberriesorblossomsadaptedtohertoilet.Now,itwasknotsofblueviolets,andnowclustersofappleblossoms,thatseemedtoadaptthemselvestothepurpose,asiftheyhadbeenmadeforit.Inthesamemannershewentabout the house filling all possible flower vases with quaint and originalcombinationsofleavesandblossomstillthehousebloomedlikeagarland.

ThenthereweredayswhenIhavethevisionofmywifeincalicodressandcrispwhiteapron,takinglessonsinornamentalhousewiferyofmymotherandaunt in thegreat, cleankitchen.There the threeproceededwithall careandsolemnity to perform the incantations out of which arose strange savorycompoundsofcakesandconfections,whoserecipeswerefamilyheir-looms.Outofgreatplattersofegg-whites,whippedintofoamymasses,thesemysticaldaintiesarose,asofoldroseVenusfromthefoamofthesea.

Iobservethattheelderlypriestessesinthetempleofdomesticexperience,haveapeculiarprideandpleasureintheyoungneophytethatseeksadmissiontotheseEleusinianmysteries.

Evabegantowearanairofprecociousmatronlygravity,assheheldlongdiscourseswithmymother and aunt on all the highmysteries of householdways, following them even to the deepest recesses of the housewhere they

displayedtohertheirhiddentreasuresoffinelinenandnapery,anddrewforthgiftswherewithtoenrichourfuturehome.

Intheoldentimesthefamilylinenofabridewasofherownspinningandthatofhermotherandkinswomen;sothateverythreadinithadasacrednessoffamilylifeandassociation.Onecanfancydreamsofpeacecouldcomeinabed,everythreadofwhoselinenhasbeenspunbylovingandsaintedhands.So,thegifttomywifefrommymotherwassomeofthispricelessoldlinen,everypieceofwhichhaditsstory.ThesetowelswerespunbyabelovedauntAvis,whoselifewasacharmingstoryoffaithandpatience;andthosesheetsandpillow-casesweretheworkofmymother'smother;theyhadbeenthroughthehistoryofafamilylife,andcametousfragrantwithrosemaryandlegend.Wetouchedthemwithreverence,astherelicsofascendedsaints.

Then therewere the family receipt books,which had a quaint poetry oftheirown.Imustconfess,inthefaceofthemodernexcellentprintedmanualsof cookery and housekeeping, a tenderness for these old-fashioned receiptbooksofourmothersandgrandmothers,yellowwithage,whereintheirownhandwritingare the recordsof theirattainmentsanddiscoveries in theartofmaking life healthful and charming. There was a loving carefulness aboutthese receipts—an evident breathing of human experience and family life—they were entwined with so many associations of the tastes and habits ofindividualmembersofthefamily,thatthereadingofmymother'sreceipt-bookseemed to bring back all the old pictures of home-life; and this preciousmanualshegavetoEva,whoforthwithresolvedtosetuponeofherownonthemodelofit.

Inshort,bythetimeourhoneymoonhadpassed,Evaregardedherselfasapassedmistress in thegrandfree-masonryofhomelife,andassumedtowardmethosegravelittleairsofinstructionblentwithgraciouscondescensionformale inferioritywhich obtain among goodwives. She began to bemy littlemothernolessthanwife.

Mymotherandauntwereconfidentofhersuccessandabilitiesasqueeninhernewdominions.Itwasevidentthatthoughacitygirlandachildofwealthand fashion, she had what Yankee matrons are pleased to denominate"faculty,"whichis,beinginterpreted,ageniusforhomelife,andshewasonlyimpatientnowtoreturntoherrealmandsetupherkingdom.

CHAPTERXLVI.

LETTERSFROMNEWYORK.

AboutthistimewegotaverycharacteristicletterfromJim.Hereitis:

DearHal:—My head buzzes like a swarm of bees.What haven't I donesinceyouleft?TheVanArsdelsareallpackingupandgettingreadytomoveout,andofcourseIhavebeenupmakingmyselfgenerallyusefulthere.Ihavebeen daily call-boy and page to the adorable Alice. Mem:—That girl is abrick!Didn'tusetothinkso,butshe'ssublime!Thewayshetakesthingsissoconfoundedsensibleand steady! I respecther—there'snot abitofnonsenseabouthernow—you'dbetterbelieve.Theyareallgoinguptotheoldpaternalfarm to spend the summer with his father, and by Fall there'll be anarrangementtogivehimanincome(VanArsdelImean),sothatthey'llhavesomethingtogoon.They'lltakeahousesomewhereinNewYorkintheFallanddofairly;butthinkwhatachangetoAlice!

Oh, by the by,Hal, theWhangDoodle hasmade her appearance in ourpartsagain.YesterdayasIsatscratchingfordearlife,ourfriend'Daciasailedin,cock'sfeathersandall,largeaslife.Shewasaftermoney,asusual,butthistimeit'sherbooksheinsistedonmysubscribingfor.Sheinformedmethatitwasdestinedtoregeneratesociety,andshewantedfivedollarsforit.Thetitleis:

THEUNIVERSALEMPYREANHARMONIAD,

BEING

AnExpositionoftheDualTriplicate

ConglomerationoftheInfinite.

There,now,isabookforyou.

'Dacia was in high spirits, jaunty as ever, and informed me that themillenniumwas a-coming straight along, and favoredmewith her views ofhowtheyintendedtomanagethingsinthegoodtime.

Thegreatmischiefatpresent,sheinformsme,liesinpossessivepronouns,whichtheyintendtoabolish.Thereisn'ttobeanymyorthy.Everybodyistohaveeverythingjusttheminutetheyhappentowantit,andeverybodyelseistolet'em.Marriageisanoldeffeteinstitution,arelicofbarbarousages.Thereis tobenomyofhusbandandwife, andnomyof children.TheState is toraise all the children as theydo turnips in great institutions, and they are tobelongtoeverybody.Love,sheinformedme,inthosedelightfuldaysistobefree as air; everybody to do exactly as they've a mind to; a privilege sheremarkedthatshetooknowasherright."IfIseeamanthatpleasesme,"saidshe,"IshallnotaskPriestorLevittforleavetohavehim."ThiswasdeclaredwithsomartialanairthatIshrankalittle,butsherelievedmebysaying,"Youneedn'tbe frightened. Idon'twantyou.Youwouldn't suitme.All Iwantof

youisyourmoney."Whereatshecamedowntobusinessagain.

Thebooksheinformedmewaseverywordofitdictatedbyspiritswhileshewasinthetrancestate,andwascomposedconjointlybySocrates,St.Paul,ChingLing,andJimCrow,representingdifferentracesoftheearthandstatesofprogression.Fromsomespecimensofthestylewhichshereadtome,Iwasled tohope thatwemightall liveas longaspossible, if thatsortof thing iswhatwearecomingtoafterdeath.

Well,itwasallfunnyandentertainingenoughtohearhergoon,butwhenit came to buying the book and planking the V, I flunked. Told 'Dacia Icouldn'tencourageherinpossessivepronouns, thatshehadnomoreright tothebookthanIhad,thattruthwasauniversalbirthright,andsothetruthsinthatbookweremineasmuchashers,andasIneededaVmorethanshedidIproposedsheshouldbuythebookofme.Shedidn'tseeitinthatlight,andwehadhighwordsinconsequence,andshepoureddownonmelikeathousandofbrick, and so I coollywalkeddownstairs, tellingherwhen shehaddonescoldingtoshutthedoor.

Isn't sheacase?TheDominiwasup inhisden,and Ibelieveshegotathimafter I left.Howhemanagedher Idon'tknow.Hewon't talkabouther.TheDomini is working like a Trojan, and his family are doing finely. Thekittensarealloverhisroomwithasmanycapersasthefairies,andIhearhimlaughing all by himself at theway they go on.We have looked at a dozenhousesadvertisedinthepaper,butnotoneyetisthebargainyouwant;butwetrudge on the quest all our exercise-time daily. It will turn up yet, I'mconvinced,theverythingyouwant.

Height,Hal,youarealuckydog.I'mlikealeanoldnagoutonacommon,lookingoverafenceandseeingyouincloveruptoyourhat-band.IfmykettleonlycouldboilfortwoI'driskaboutthepossessivepronouns.TosaythetruthIamtiredofIandmy,andwouldliketosayweandourifIdared.

Comehomeanywayandkindleyourtentfire,andletapoortrampwarmhimselfatit.

Yourdogandslave,

Jim.

Bolton'sletterwasasfollows:

DearHal:—I promised you a family cat, but I amgoing to do better byyou.Thereisapairofmykittensthatwouldbringlaughtertothecheeksofadyinganchorite.Theyarejustthecraziestspecimensofpurejollitythatflesh,blood,andfurcouldbewroughtinto.Whowantsacomicoperaatadollaranightwhen a family catwill supply eight kittens a year?Nobody seems to

have found outwhat kittens are for. I do believe these two kittens ofminewouldcurethemostobstinatehypochondriaofmortalman,and,thinkofit,Iamgoingtogivethemtoyou!TheirnamesareWhiskyandFrisky,andtheirwaysarepastfindingout.

Thehouse inwhich the golden age pastoral is to be enacted has not yetbeenfound.Itissomewhereinfairyland,andwillprobablysuddenlyappeartoyouasthingsusedto,togoodknightsinenchantedforests.

JimandIwentdowntothesteameryesterdaytoseeMissVanArsdelandyour cousin off for Europe. They are part of a very pleasant party that aregoingtogetherandseeminhighspirits.Ifindherarticles(yourcousin's)takewell,andthereisanimmediatecallformore.Sofar,good!Stayyourmonthout,myboy,andgetallyoucanoutofitbeforeyoucomebacktothe"Dem'dhorridgrind"ofNewYork.

Everyours,

Bolton.

P.S.—WhileIhavebeenwriting,WhiskyandFriskyhavepitchedintoapileoftheproof-sheetsofyourMilkyWaystory,andperformedaballetdancewith them so that they are rather the worse for wear. No fatal harm donehowever, and I find it reads capitally. I met Hestermann yesterday quiteenthusiasticoveroneofyourarticles in theDemocracy thathappened tohithisfancy,andplumedmyselftohimforhavingsecuredyounextyearforhisservice.Soyouseeyourstarisintheascendant.TheHestermannsareliberalfellows, and theplaceyouhave is as sure as theBankofEngland.Soyourpastoralwillhaveagoodbitofearthlygroundtobeginon.

B.

ThenextwasfromAlice.

DearSister:—Iamsotiredoutwithpacking,andallthethousandandonethingsthathavetobeattendedto!Youknowmammaisnotstrong,andnowyou and Ida are gone, I am the eldest daughter, and take everything onmyshoulders.AuntMaria comes here daily, looking like a hearse, and I reallythinkshedepressesmammaasmuchbyherlugubriouswaysasshehelps.Shepositively is amost provokingperson.She assumeswith such certainty thatmammaisafool,andthatallthathashappenedoutofthewaycomesbysomefault of hers, that when she has been here a daymamma is sure to have aheadache. But I have discovered faculties and strength I never knew Ipossessed.Ihavetakenonmyselfthewholeworkofseparatingthethingsweare tokeepfromthosewhichare tobesold,andthosewhichweare to takeinto thecountrywithus, fromthosewhichare tobestoredinNewYorkforourreturn.Idon'tknowwhatIshouldhavedoneifJimFellowshadn'tbeen

the real considerate friend he is. Papa is overwhelmed with settling upbusinessmatters, and onewants to save him every care, and Jim has reallybeen like a brother—looking up a place to store the goods, finding just thenicestkindofamantocartthem,andactuallycominginandpackingforme,tillItoldhimIknewhemustbegivingustimethathewantedforhimself—andall thiswithsomuch funand jollification thatwe reallyhavehadsomemerrytimesoverit,andquiteshockedAuntMaria,whoinsistsonmaintainingageneraldemeanorasiftherewereacorpseinthehouse.

OnewickedthingaboutJimisthathewilltakeheroff;andthoughIscoldhimforit,betweenyouandme,Eva,andinthe"buzzomofthefamily,"asoldMrs.Knabbsusedtosay,Imustadmitthatit'salittletoofunnyforanything.Hecanmakehimself lookandspeakexactly likeher,andbreaksout in thatwayeveryonceinawhile;andifwereprovehim,says,"What'sthematter?Who are you thinking of? I wasn't thinking of what you were." He is adreadfulrogue,andonecan'tdoanythingwithhim;butwhatweshouldhavedonewithouthim,I'msureIdon'tknow.

SophieElmorecalledtheotherday,andtoldmeallaboutthingsbetweenherandSydney.SheissendingtoParisforallherthings,andTullegig'sisallincommotion.TheyaretobemarriedearlyinOctoberandgooffforatourinEurope.YououghttoseethegloomonAuntMaria'svisagewhenthethingistalkedabout.IfithadbeenanybodybuttheElmoresIthinkAuntMariacouldhavesurvivedit,buttheyhavebeenherMordecaiinthegateallthistime,andnowsheseesthemtriumphant.Shespeaksfamiliarlyaboutourbeingruined,and finally the other day I told her that I found ruin altogether a morecomfortable thing than Iexpected,whereat she lookedatmeas if Iwereanabandoned sinner, sighed deeply, and said nothing. Poor soul! I oughtn't tolaugh,butshedoesprovokemesoIamtemptedtorevengemyselfinalittlequietfunatherexpense.

TheotherdayJimwas tellingmeaboutahousehehadbeen lookingat.AuntMaria listened with a severe gravity and interposed with, "Of coursenobodycouldliveonthatstreet.Evawouldbecrazytothinkofit.Thereisn'tagoodfamilywithinsquaresofthatquarter."

I saidyoudidn't care for fashion, and shegavemeoneofher looksandsaid,"ItrustIsha'n'tseeEvainthatstreet;nonebutmostordinarypeoplelivethere."Only think, Eva,what if you should live on a streetwhere ordinarypeoplelive?Howdreadful!

Well, darling, I can't write more; my hands are dusty with packing andoverhauling,andIamwritingnowonthetopofaboxwaitingforthemantocartawaythenextload.Weareallwell,andthegirlsbehavecharmingly,andarejustashandyandhelpfulastheycanbe,andmammasayssheneverknew

thecomfortofherchildrenbefore.

Godblessyou,dear,andgoodby,

Yourloving

Alice.

CHAPTERXLVII.

AUNTMARIA'SDICTUM.

Ourlovelymoonofmoonshadnowwaned,andthetimedrewonwhen,likeAdamandEve,wewerehandinhandtoturnourbacksonParadiseandsetourfacestowardthebattleoflife.

"Theworldwasallbeforeuswhere tochoose." In just thiscrisiswegotthefollowingfromAuntMaria:

MyDearEva:—Notwithstandingallthathaspassed,Icannothelpwritingtoshowthatinterestinyouraffairs,whichitmaybepresumed,asyourauntandgodmother,Ihavesomerighttofeel,andthoughIknowthatmyadvicealwayshasbeendisregarded,stillIthinkitmydutytospeak,andshallspeak.

Ofcourse, as Ihavenotbeenconsultedor taken intoyourconfidenceatall,thismayseemlikeinterference,butIoverheardMr.FellowstalkingwithAlice about looking for houses for you, and I must tell you that I amastonished that you should think of such a thing. Housekeeping is veryexpensive, if you keep house with the least attention to appearance; andgenteelboardcanbeobtainedatafarlessfigure.Thenastoyourinvestingthelittle that your grandmother left you in a house, it is something that showssuchchildishignoranceasreallyispitiable.Idon'tsupposeeitheryouoryourhusbandeverpricedanarticleof furnitureatDavidandSaul's inyour lives,andhavenot the smallest ideaof the costof all those thingswhich ahousemakesatonceindispensable.Youfancyahousearrangedasyouhavealwaysseenyourfather's,anddonotknowthatthekindofmarriageyouhavechosenplacesalltheseluxurieswhollyoutofyourreach.Thenastothehouseitself,thewholeofyourlittlepropertywouldgobutasmallwaytowardgivingyouadwellinganywayrespectableforyoutolivein.

ItistruetherearecheaplittlehousesinNewYork,butwhere,andonwhatstreets? You would not want to live among mechanics and dentists, smallclerks, and people of that description. Everythingwhen one is firstmarrieddependsontakingarightstandinthebeginning.Ofcourse,sincetheruinthathascomeonyour father,andwithwhichyouwillseeInever reproachyou,

thoughyoumighthavepreventedit,itisnecessaryforallofustobedoublycareful.Everybody isverykindandconsiderate,andpeoplehavecalledandcontinuetoinviteus,andwemaymaintainourfootingasbefore, ifwegiveourwholemindtoit,asevidentlyitisourdutytodo,payingproperattentiontoappearances.Ihavepartiallyengagedaplaceforyou,subjectofcoursetoyour and your husband's approval, atMivart's,which is a place that can bespokenof—aplacewherethebestsortofpeopleare.Mrs.Mivartisaprotégéeofmine,andiswillingto takeyouataconsiderablereduction, ifyoutakeasmall back room. Thus you will have no cares, and no obligations ofhospitality,andbeabletoturnyourresourcesalltokeepinguptheproperairandappearances,whichwiththepresentshockingpricesforeverything,silks,gloves, shoes, etc., and the requirements of the times, are something quitefrightfultocontemplate.

ThecourseofconductIhaveindicatedseemsspeciallynecessaryinviewofAlice's future.Theblight that comeson all her prospects in this dreadfulcalamity of your father's is something that lieswithweight onmymind.Ayear agoAlicemight have commanded the very best of offers, andwe hadevery reason to hope such an establishment for her as her beauty andaccomplishments ought to bring. It is amercy to think that shewill still beinvitedandhaveherchances,thoughshewillhavetostrugglewithherlimitedmeanstokeepupaproperstyle;butwithenergyandattentionitcanbedone.Ihaveknowngirlscapableofmaking,insecret,dressesandbonnetsthatwereascribed to the first artists.Thepuffed tulle inwhichSallieMortoncame toyourlastGermanwaswhollyofherownmake—althoughofcoursethiswastoldme in confidencebyhermother andought togono farther.But if youtakeameanlittlehouseamongordinarylowclasses,andliveinapoor,cheap,andscrubbyway,ofcourseyoucutyourselfofffromsociety,andyouseeitdegradesthewholefamily.Iamsure,asItoldyourmother,nothingbutyourinexperiencewouldleadyoutothinkofit,andyourhusbandbeingaliterarymannaturallywouldnotunderstandconsiderationsofthisnature.Ihaveseenagooddealoflife,andIgiveitastheresultofmyobservationthattherearetwo things that verymaterially influence standing in society; thepart of thecitywe live in, and thechurchwego to.Ofcourse, Ipresumeyouwillnotthinkof leavingyourchurch,whichhas in it themost selectcirclesofNewYork.Awife's religious consolations are things no husband should interferewith,andItrustyouwillnotflingawayyourmoneyonameanlittlehouseinafitofchildishignorance.Youwillwanttheincomeofthatmoneyforyourdress,andcarriagesforcallsandotheritemsessentialtokeepuplife.

I suppose you have heard that the Elmores are making extensivepreparations for Sophie's wedding in the Fall. When I see the vanity andinstabilityofearthlyriches, Icannotbutbeglad that there isabetterworld;theconsolationsof religionat timesareallonehas to turn to.Becarefulof

yourhealth,mydearchild,anddon'twetyourfeet.FromyourlettersIshouldinferthatyouwereneedlesslygoingintoverydampunpleasantplaces.WritemeimmediatelywhatIamtotellthematMivart's.

Youraffectionateaunt,

MariaWouvermans.

Itwasasgoodasaplaytoseemywife'sfaceasshereadthisletter,withflushed cheeks and an impatient tapping of her little foot that foreboded anoutburst.

"Justlikeherforalltheworld,"shesaid,tossingthelettertome,whichIreadwithvastamusement.

"We'llhaveahouseofourownasquickaswecangetone,"shesaid."IthinkIseemyselfgossippinginaboardinghouse,hangingontotheoutskirtsof fashion in thewaysheplans,makingpuffed tulledresses insecretplacesandwearingoutlifetolookasifIwereasrichasIamnot,andtryingtokeepstepwithpeopleoffivetimesourincome.IfyoucatchEvaVanArsdelatthatgame,thentellme!"

"EvaVanArsdelisabeingofthepast,fortunatelyforme,darling."

"Well, Eva Van Arsdel Henderson, then," said she. "That compoundpersonageisstrongerandmoredefiantofworldlynonsensethantheoldEvadaredtobe."

"AndIthinkyouraunthasnoideaofwhatthereisdevelopinginAlice."

"Tobesureshehasn't;nottheremotest.Aliceisproudandsensible,proudin the properway Imean. Shewas full willing to take the goods the godsprovidedwhileshehadthem,butsheneverwillstooptoalltheworries,andcares,andlittlemeanartificesofgenteelpoverty.Sheneverwilldressandgooutonhuntingexpeditionstocatcharichhusband.IalwayssaidAlice'smindlay in twostrata, theupperoneworldlyandambitious, the secondgenerousandhighminded.Our fall fromwealthhasbeen likea land slide, theupperstratumhasslidoffandleftthelower.Alicewillnowshowthatsheisbothastrongandnoblewoman.Ourengagementandmarriagehaswhollyconvertedher,andshehasstoodbymelikealittleTrojanallalong."

"Well,"saidI,"aboutthisletter?"

"Oh!youansweritforme.It'stimeAuntMarialearnedthatthereisamantothefore;besidesyouarenotvexed,youareonlyamused,andyoucanwriteadiplomaticletter."

"Andtellhersweetlyandpolitely,withallrufflesandtrimmings,thatitisnoneofherbusiness?"saidI.

"Yes, just that, but of course with all possible homage of your highconsideration. Then tell we can find a house. I suppose we can find nicecountry board for the hotmonths nearNewYork,where you can come outeverynightontherailroadandstaySundays."

"Exactly. Ihave theplaceall thoughtof and termsarranged longago.AcharmingQuakerfamilywhereyouwillfindthebestoffruit,andthenicestofboard, and the quietest and gentlest of hosts, all for a sumquitewithin ourmeans."

"Andthen,"saidshe,"byFallItrustweshallfindahousetosuitus."

"Certainly," said I. "I have faith that such a house is all waiting for ussomewhereintheunknownfuture.Wearetravelingtowardit,andshallknowitwhenweseeit."

"Just think," saidmywife, "ofAuntMaria as suggesting thatwe shouldboardsothatwecouldshirkallobligationsofhospitality!What'slifegoodforifyoucan'thaveyour friendswithyou, andmakepeoplehappyunderyourroof?"

"Andwhowouldthinkofcountingthemoneyspentinhospitality?"saidI.

"YetIhaveheardofpeoplewhopurposelyplantohavenospareroomintheirhouse,"answeredEva."Iremember,now,AuntMaria'sspeakingofMrs.Jacobswithapprobationforjustthispieceofeconomy."

"By which she secures money for party dresses and a brilliant annualentertainmentIsuppose,"saidI.

"Well,"saidEva,"Ihavealwaysimaginedmyhomewithfriendsinit.Awarmpeculiarcornerforeachoneofyoursandmine.ItistheverycharmoftheprospectwhenIfigurethis,that,andtheotheroneenjoyingwithus,andthenIhavethegreatessentialof"help"secured.DoyouknowthattherewasoneMaryMcClellanmarried from our house years ago who was a perfectadoreratmyshrineandalwaysbeggedmetobemarriedthatshemightcomeandlivewithme?Nowsheisawidowwithalittlegirleightyearsold,anditisthedesireofherhearttogetaplacewhereshecanhaveherchildwithher.Itwillfitexactly.Thelittlecub,undermytraining,canwaitonthetableandtend the door, and Mary will be meanwhile a mother to me in myinexperience."

"Capital!"saidI."Iamsureourstarisintheascendant,andweshallhearfromourhousebeforethesummeristhrough."

Oneday,near the first ofOctober,whileup for aSundayatour countryboarding-place,IgotthefollowingletterfromJimFellows:

MyDearOldBoy:—Ithinkwehavegotit,Imeangotthehouse.Iamnot

quite surewhat yourwifewill say, but I happened tomeetMissAlice lastnightandItoldher,andshesayssheissureitwilldo.Hearandunderstand.

ComingdowntownyesterdayIboughttheHeraldandreadtomyjoythatJackFergushadbeenappointedConsultoAlgiers.Tosaythetruthwefellowshave thought the game was pretty much up with poor Jack; his throat andlungsaresobad,andhisfamilyconsumptive.SoIsaidwhenIreadit,'Good!there's a thing that'll do.' I went right round to congratulate him and foundthreeorfourofourfellowsdoingthesamething.Jackwaspleased,saiditwasallright,butstillIcouldseetherewasahitchsomewhere,andthatinfactitwasnot all right, andwhen theother fellowswent away I staid, and then itcameout.Hesaidatoncethathewasgladoftheappointment,butthathehadnomoney;theplaceatAlgiersdoesnotsupportaman.Hewillhavetogiveup his bank salary, and unless he could sell his house for readymoney hecoulddonothing.Ineverknewhehadanyhouse.Heavenknowsnoneoftherest of us have got any houses. But it seems some aunt of his, an oldKnickerbocker,lefthimone.Well,Iaskedhimwhyhedidn'tsellit.Hesaidhecouldn't.Hehadhadtwoagents there thatmorning.Theywouldn'tgivehimanyencouragementtillthewholeplacewassoldtogether.Theywouldn'tofferanything,andwouldonlysaytheywouldadvertiseitonhisaccount.Youseeitisoneofthosebetwixtandbetweenplaceswhichisgoingtobeabusinessplace,butisn'tyet.Sohesaid;anditwasthatwhichmademethinkofyouandyourwife.

I askedwhere itwas, andhe toldme. It isoneof those little streets thatleadoutofVarickstreet,ifyouknowwherethatis,I'llbetMrs.Hendersonadozen pair that she doesn't.Well, I went with him to see it when the bankclosed,forIstillthoughtofyou.ByGeorge,Ithinkyouwilllikeit.Itisthelasthouseinablock,thestreetisdullenoughbutisinhabitedbydecentquietpeople, who mind their own business. Of course the respectable Mrs.Wouverman'swouldthinkitanunknownhorrortolivethere;andbequitesuretheywereallJewsorsorcerers,orsomeothersortofcome-outers.Well,thishouse itself is not like the rest of the block—having been built by this oldAuntMartila,orVanBeest,orwhateverelsehernamewas,forherownuse.Itisabrickhouse,withaqueerstoop,twoandahalfstorieshigh(thehouse,notthe stoop),with a bay-windowon the end, goingout on a sort of a church-yard,acrosswhichyoulooktowhatis,Ibelieve,St.John'sPark[1]—aplacewith trees, and English sparrows, and bird-houses and things. Jack and hiswife have made the place look quite cosy, and managed to get a deal ofcomfortoutof it. Iwish Icouldbuy itand takemywife there ifonly Ihadone.ThisplaceJackwillsellforeightthousanddollars—fourthousanddownand four thousand onmortgage. I call that dirt cheap, and Livingstone, ourheadbook-keeper,whousedtobeahouse-broker,tellsmeitisabargainsuchasheneverheardof,andthatyoucansellitatanytimeformorethanthat.I

havetakentherefusalforthreedays,socomedown,bothofyou,brightandearlyMondayandlookatit.

Sodownwecame;wesaw;webought.Inafewdayswewereready,keyinhand,toopenandwalkinto"OurHouse."

CHAPTERXLVIII.

OURHOUSE.

There are certain characteristic words which the human heart loves toconjurewith,andoneofthestrongestamongthemisthephrase,"Ourhouse."It isnotmyhouse,noryourhouse,nor theirhouse,butOurHouse. It is theinseparablewewhoown it, and it is theweand theour thatgoa longwaytowards impregnating it with the charm that makes it the symbol of thingsmostblessedandeternal.

Houseshavetheirphysiognomy,asmuchaspersons.Therearecommon-place houses, suggestive houses, attractive houses, mysterious houses, andfascinating houses, just as there are all these classes of persons. There arehouses whose windows seem to yawn idly—to stare vacantly—there arehouses whose windows glower weirdly, and look at you askance; there arehouses, again, whose very doors and windows seem wide open with frankcordiality, which seem to stretch their arms to embrace you, and woo youkindlytocomeandpossessthem.

MywifeandI,asweputourkeyintothedoorandletourselvesintothedeserteddwelling, nowall ourown, said to eachother at once that itwas ahome-likehouse.Itwasbuiltintheoldstyle,whentheyhadsolidtimbersandlow ceilingswith great beams and largewindows,with old-fashioned smallpanes of glass, but there was about it a sort of homely individuality, andsuggestive of cosy comforts.The front roomhad an ancient fire-place,withquaintDutchtilesaroundit.TheFerguseshadintroducedafurnace,gas,andwater,intoit;butthefire-placeinmostoftheroomsstillremained,suggestiveof the old days inNewYorkwhenwoodwas plenty and cheap.One couldalmostfancythatthosedaysofroaringfamilyhearthshadsohearteneduptheoldchimneysthataportionoftheancientwarmthyetinheredinthehouse.

"There,Harry," saidmywife, exultantly pointing to the fire-place, "see,this is the very thing that your mother's brass andirons will fit into—howcharminglytheywillgowithit!"

And then those bright, sunny windows, and that bay-window lookingacross upon those treeswas perfectly lovely. In fact, the leaves of the trees

shimmering in October light, cast reflections into the room suggestive ofcountrylife,which,freshfromthecountryaswewere,wasanaddedcharm.

The roomswerevery low studded, scarcelynine feet inheight—and, bytheby, Ibelieve that that feature inoldEnglishandDutchhouse-building isonethatgreatlyconducestogiveanairofcomfort.Alowceilinginsureseasein warming, and in our climate where one has to depend on fires for ninemonthsintheyear,thisissomethingworthwhile.Ingeneral,Ihavenoticedinroomsthat thesenseofsnugnessandcomfortdiesoutas theceilingrises inheight—rooms twelve and fifteen feet highmay be all very grand and veryfine,but theyareneversociable, theyneverseemtobroodoveryou,sootheyou,andtakeyoutotheirheartasthemotherlylow-browedroomdoes.

Mywife ran all over her new dominions-exploring and planning, tellingmevolubly how shewould arrange them.ThewomanwasQueenhere; herfootwasonhernativeheath, and she sawcapabilities andpossibilitieswiththeeyeofanartist.

Now,IdesireittobeunderstoodthatIamnotindifferenttothecharmsofgoingtohousekeepingfull-handed.IdonotpretendtosaythatmywifeandIshould not have enjoyed opening our family reign in a stone palace,overlookingNewYorkCentralPark,withall thecharmsofcityandcountrylifeunited,withall theupholsterersand furniture shops inNewYorkatourfeet.Allthiswasnonetoogoodforourtasteifwecouldhavehadit,butsincewecouldnothaveit,wetookanotherkindofdelight,andonequiteasvivid,inseeinghowcharminglywecouldgetonwithoutit.Infact,Ithinkthereisan exultation in the constant victoryover circumstances, in little inventions,substitutions,andcombinations,renderednecessarybylimitedmeanswhichiswantingtothosetowhosehandeverythingcomeswithoutaneffort.

If, for example, the brisk pair of robins, who have built in the elm treeoppositetoourbay-window,hadhadanestallmade,andlined,andprovidedforthemtogointo,whatanamountoftweedleandchipper,whataquantityoffluttering, and soaring, and singing would have been wanting to thecommencement of their housekeeping! All those pretty little conversationswiththesticksandstraw,allthatbraveworkintuggingatabitoftwineandthread, which finally are carried off in triumph and wrought into the nest,would be a loss in nature. Howmuch adventure and enterprise, howmanylittleheart-beatsofjoygointoonerobin'snestsimplybecauseMotherNaturemakesthemworkitoutforthemselves!

Wespentacheerfulmorningmerelyinrunningoverourhouse,andtellingeachotherwhatwecoulddowithit,andcongratulatingeachotherthatitwas"suchabargain,"for, look,here isanoutlookupontrees;andhere isa littlebackyard,considerably larger thanagoodsizedpocket-handkerchief,where

Mrs. Fergus had raised mignonette, heliotropes, and roses and geraniumsenoughtohaveafreshmorningbouquetofthemdaily;andanancientgrape-vineplantedbysomeoldKnickerbocker,whichJackFergushadtrainedinasortofarboroverthedining-roomwindow,andwhichatthispresentmomentwas hanging with purple clusters of grapes. We ate of them, and felt likeAdamandEveinParadise.WhatwasittousthatthislittleEdenofourswasinanunfashionablequarter,andthat,asAuntMariawouldsay,therewasnotacreaturelivingwithinmilesofus,itwasstillourmystical"gardenwhichtheLordGodhadplanted eastward inEden."Thepurchaseof it, it is true, hadabsorbedallmywife'slittlefortune,andlaidadebtuponus—butwetoldeachotherthatitwas,afterall,ourcheapestwayofrentingafootholdinNewYork."For,yousee,"saidmywifeinstructively,"papasaysitisasafeinvestment,asitissuretoriseinvalue,sothatevenifwewanttosellitwecangetmorethanwepaid."

"What a shrewd little trader you are getting to be!" I said, admiring thisprofoundfinancialview.

"Oh,indeedIam;and,now,Harrydear,don'tlet'sgotoanyexpenseaboutfurnituretillI'veshownyouwhatIintendtodo.Iknowdevicesforgivingaroomanairwithsolittle;forexample, lookat thisrecess.Ishallfill thisupwithadivanthatIshallgetupfornineortendollars."

"Yougetitup!"

"Yes, I—with Mary to help me—you'll see in time. We'll have all thecomfortthatcouldbegotoutofasofa,forwhichpeoplepayeightyorninetydollars, and theeightyorninetydollarswillgo togetother things,yousee.And thenwemusthaveastuffedseat running round thisbay-window. Icanget that up. I've seen at Stewart's such a lovely piece of patch, with broadcrimson stripes, and a sort of mauresque figure interposed. I think we hadbetter get thewhole of it, and thatwill do for onewhole room.Let's see. Ishall make lambrequins for the windows, and cover the window-seats, andthenwe shall have only to buy two or three great stuffed chairs and coverthemwith the same.Oh, you'll seewhat I'll do. I shallmake this house socomfortableandcharmingthatpeoplewillwondertoseeit."

"Well,darling,Igiveallthatuptoyou,thatisyourdominion,yourreign."

"Tobesure,youhaveallyourworkupattheofficethere,andyourarticlestowrite,andbesides,dear,withallyourgenius,andallthat,youreallydon'tknowmuchaboutthissortofthing,sogiveyourselfnotrouble,I'llattendtoit—itismyground,youknow.Now,Idon'tmeanmotherorAuntMariashallcomedownheretillwehavegoteverythingarranged.Aliceisgoingtocomeandstaywithmeandhelp,andwhenIwantyouI'llcallonyou,for,thoughIamnotawritinggenius,Iamageniusinthesemattersasyou'llsee."

"Youareaveritablehouseholdfairy,"saidI,"andthishouse,henceforth,lies on the borders of the fairy land. Troops of gay and joyous spirits areflockingtotakepossessionofit,andtheirlittlehandswillcarryforwardwhatyoubegin."

CHAPTERXLIX.

PICNICKINGINNEWYORK.

Ourhouseseemedsofartobeoursthatitwasapparentlyregardedbythefirmofgoodfellowsasmuchtheiraffairasmine.ThevisitsofJimandBoltonto our quarters were daily, and sometimes even hourly. They counseled,advised,theorised,andadmiredmywife'sgeneralshipinanartlesssolidaritywithmyself.Jimwasomnipresent.Nowhewouldbeseeninhisshirt-sleevesnailingdownacarpet,orunpackingabarrel,andagainmakinggoodthetimelostintheseoperationsbyscribblinghisarticlesonthetopofsomepacking-box, dodging in and out at all hours with news of discoveries of possiblebargainsthathehadhituponinhisrambles.

Forawhilewemerelybivouackedinthehouse,asofoldthepilgrimsinacaravansary,orasapicnicpartymightdo,outundera tree.Thehouseitselfwasinastateofgrowthandconstruction,and,meanwhile,theworkofeatingand drinking was performed in moments snatched in the most pastoralfreedom and simplicity. I must confess that there was a joyous, rollickingfreedom about these times that was lost in the precision of regularhousekeepers. When we all gathered about Mary's cooking-stove in thekitchen,eatingroastoystersandbreadandbutter,withouttroublingourselvesabouttableequipage,weseemedtocomeclosertoeachotherthanwecouldinmonthsoforderlyhousekeeping.

Ourcooking-stovewasBolton'sespecialprotégéandpet.Hehadstudiedthesubjectofstoves,foroursakes,withpraiseworthyperseverance,andafterphilosophicinvestigationhadpersuadedustobuythisone,andofcoursehada fatherly interest in itswell-doing. I have the imageof himnowas he sat,seriously,withthebookofdirectionsinhishand,readingandexplainingtousall,whileasetofmuffinsweregoingthroughthe"experimentumcrucis"—theoven.Themuffinswereexcellent andweate themhotoutof theovenwithgladnessandsinglenessofheart,andagreedthatwehadtouchedtheabsoluteinthematterofcooking-stoves.Allmywife'splansandachievements,allherbargainsandsuccesses,werereportedandadmiredinfullconclave,whenwealllookedinatnight,andtookoursnacktogetherinthekitchen.

Oneofmywife's enterpriseswas the regenerationof thedining-room. Ithad a pretty window draped pleasantly by the grape-vine, but it had adreadfullycommonwall-paper,apaperthatevidentlyhadbeenchosenfornoother reason thanbecause itwas cheap. It hadmoreover awainscot of darkwood running round the side, so thatwhatwithour lowceiling, theportioncoveredbythisoffendingpaperwasonlyfourfeetandahalfwide.

Iconfess,inthemultitudeofthingsonhandintheworkofreconstruction,I was rather disposed to put up with the old paper as the best under thecircumstances.

"Mydear,"saidI,"whynotletprettywellalone."

"Mydarlingchild!"saidmywife,"itisimpossible—thatpaperisahorror."

"Itcertainlyisn'tpretty,butwhocares?"saidI."Idon'tseesoverymuchthematterwithit,andyouareundertakingsomuchthatyou'llbewornout."

"Itwillwearmeouttohavethatpaper,sonow,Harrydear,beagoodboy,anddojustwhatItellyou.GotoBerthold&Capstick'sandbringmeonerollofplainblackpaper, and sixor eightofplaincrimson, andwait then to seewhatI'lldo."

The result on a certain day after was that I found my dining-roomtransformedintoaPompeiiansaloon,bythebusyfingersofthehousefairies.

Theground-workwascrimson,but therewasaseriesofblackpanels, ineachofwhichwasoneofthosefloatingPompeiianfigures,whichtheItaliantravelerbuysforatrifleinNaples.

"There now," said my wife, "do you remember my portfolio of cheapNeapolitanprints?Haven'tImadegooduseofthem?"

"Youareawitch,"saidI."Youcertainlycan'tpaperwalls."

"Can't I! haven't I asmany fingers as yourmother? and she has done ittimeandagain;andthisissuchacrumbofawall.AliceandJimandIdiditto-day,andhavehadrealfunoverit."

"Jim?"saidI,lookingamused.

"Jim!"saidmywife,noddingwithasignificantlaugh.

"Seemstome,"saidI.

"Soitseemstome,"saidshe.Afterapausesheadded,withasmile,"butthecreatureisbothentertaininganduseful.Wehavehadthegreatestkindofafrolicoverthiswall."

"But,really,"saidI,"thiscaseofJimandAliceisgettingserious."

"Don'tsayaword,"saidmywife,laughing."TheyareintheF's;theyhavegotoutofFlirtationandintoFriendship."

"And friendship between a girl likeAlice and a youngman, on his partsoongetstomean——."

"Oh,well,letitgettomeanwhatitwill,"saidmywife;"theyarehavingnice times now, and the best of it is, nobody sees anything but you and I.Nobody bothers Alice, or asks her if she is engaged, and she is careful toinform me that she regards Jim quite as a brother. You see that is oneadvantage of our livingwhere nobody knows us—we can all do just aswelike. This little house is Robinson Crusoe's island—in the middle of NewYork.Butnow,Harry,thereisonethingyoumustdotowardthisroom.Theremust be a little giltmolding to finish off the top and sides. You just go toBerthold&Capstick'sandgetit.See,herearethefigures,"shesaid,showinghermemorandum-book."Weshallwantjustthatmuch."

"But,canweputitup?"

"No,butyoujustspeaktolittleTimBrady,whoisaclerkthere—Timusedtobeaboyinfather'soffice—hewilllikenothingbetterthantocomeandputitupforus,andthenweshallbefineasanewfiddle."

Andso,whileIwasdrivingunderagreatpressureofbusinessattheofficedaily, my homewas growing leaf by leaf, and unfolding flower by flower,underthecreativehandsofmyhome-queenandsovereignlady.

Timewould failme to relate the enterprises conceived, carried out, andprosperously finished under her hands. Indeed I came to have such areverential belief in her power that had she announced that she intended totakemyhouseupbodilyandsetitdowninJapan,inthetrue"ArabianNights"style,Ishouldnotintheleasthavedoubtedherabilitytodoit.Thehousewasasmuch an expression ofmywife's personality, a thingwrought out of herbeing,asanypicturepaintedbyanartist.

Manyhomeshavenopersonality.Theyaremadebytheupholsterers;thethingsinthemexpressthetastesofDavidandSaul,orBerthold&Capstick,orwhoeverelseofartificersundertake thegettingupofhouses.Butourhouseformed itself aroundmywife like the pearly shell around the nautilus.MyhomewasEva,—shethescheming, thebusy, thecreative,was the life,soul,andspiritofallthatwasthere.

Isnotthisaspeciesofhighart,bywhichahouse,initselfcoldandbarren,becomesineverypartwarmandinviting,glowingwithsuggestion,alivewithhuman tastes and personalities?Wall-paper, paint, furniture, pictures, in thehandsofthehomeartist,arelikethetubesofpaintoutofwhicharises,asbyinspiration,apicture.Itisthewomanwhocombinesthemintothewonderful

creationwhichwecallahome.

When I came home from my office night after night, and was led intriumphbyEva toview the resultofherachievements, I confess Ibegan torememberwithapprobationtheoldGreekmythology,andnolongertowonderthatdivinehonorshadbeenpaidtohouseholdgoddesses.

It seemed to me that she had a portion of the talent of creating out ofnothing.Ourhousehadliterallynothinginitofthestereotypedsetsofarticlesexpected as a matter of course in good families, and yet it looked cosy,comfortable,inviting,andwitheverywhereasuggestionofidealtastes,andaneyetobeauty.Therewerechamberswhichseemedtobebuiltoutofdraperyandmuslins,everydetailofwhich,whenexplained,wasamarvelofresultsatsmall expense. My wife had an aptitude for bargains, and when a certainarticle was wanted, supplied it from some second-hand store with such anadmirable adaptation to the place that it was difficult to persuade ourselvesafterafewdaysthatithadnotalwaysbeenexactlythere,wherenowitwassoperfectlyadaptedtobe.

In fact,herexcursions into thegreat seaofNewYorkand thespoils shebrought thence to enrich our bower reminded me of the process by whichRobinsonCrusoefurnishedhisislandhomebyrepeatedvisitstotheoldshipwhichwasgoingtowreckontheshore.Fromthewreckofotherhomescamefloating to ours household belongings, which we landed reverently andbaptizedintothefellowshipofourown.

CHAPTERL.

NEIGHBORS.

Doyouknow,Harry,"saidmywifetome,oneeveningwhenIcamehometodinner,"Ihavemadeadiscovery?"

Now, the truth was, that my wife was one of those lively, busy, active,enterprisinglittlewomen,whoarealwaysmakingincidentforthemselvesandtheirfriends;anditwasaregularpartofmyanticipation,asIploddedhomefrommyoffice,tiredandwork-worn,toconjecturewhatnewthingEvawouldfind to tell me that night. What had she done, or altered, or made up, orarranged,asshealwaysmetmefullofhersubject?

"Well,"saidI,"whatisthisgreatdiscovery?"

"Mydear,I'lltellyou.Oneofthosedumbhousesinourneighborhoodhassuddenlybecomealivetome.I'vemadeanacquaintance."

Now, I knew thatmywife was just that social, conversing, conversablecreaturethat,hadshebeeninRobinsonCrusoe'sisland,wouldhavestruckupconfidential relationswith themonkeys and paroquets, rather than not havesomebody to talk to. Therefore, I was not in the least surprised, but quiteamused,tofindthatshehadbegunneighboringinourvicinity.

"Youdon'ttellme,"saidI,"thatyouhavebeguntocultivateacquaintancesonthisstreet,sofarfromthecentersoffashion?"

"Well,Ihave,andfoundquiteatreasure,inattheverynextdoor."

"Andpraynow,forcuriosity'ssake,howdidyoumanageit?"

"Well,totellthetruth,Harry,I'mtheworstpersonintheworldforkeepingup what's called select society; and I never could bear the feeling of notknowing anything about anybody that lives next to me. Why, suppose weshouldbesickinthenight,oranythinghappen,andwenothaveacreaturetospeakto!Itseemsdrearyto thinkof it.SoIwascurious toknowwholivednextdoor;andI lookeddownfromourchamber-windowintothenextback-yard, and saw that whoever it was had a right cunning little garden, withnasturtiums and geraniums, and chrysanthemums, and all sorts of prettythings.Well,thismorningIsawthesweetestlittledoveofaQuakerwoman,ina gray dress, with a pressed crape cap, moving about as quiet as a chipsparrowamongtheflowers.AndItookquiteafancytoher,andbegantothinkhowIshouldmakeheracquaintance."

"If that isn't just like you!" said I. "Well, did you run in and fall on herneck?"

"Notexactly.But,yousee,wehadallourwindowsopentoairtherooms,andmyverybestpockethandkerchieflayonthebureau.Andthewindtookitup,andwhirleditabout,andfinallycarrieditdownintothatback-yard;anditlitonhergeraniumbush. 'There,now,' saidI toAlice, 'there'saprovidentialopening. I'm just going to run right down and inquire about my pockethandkerchief.'WhichIdid:I juststeppedofffromourstoopontoherdoor-step,andrang thebell.Meanwhile, Isaw,onanice,shiningdoorplate, thatthenamewasBaxter.Well,whoshouldopenthedoorbutthebrowndoveinperson, looking justasprettyasapink inhercapanddrabgown. Ideclare,Harry,I toldAliceI'dagreatmindtoadopt theQuakercostumerightaway.It'sagreatdealmorebecomingthanallourfinery."

"Well,mydear,"saidI,"thatintroducesalargesubject;andIwanttohearwhatcamenext."

"Oh,well,Ispokeup,andsaid,'DearMrs.Baxter,prayexcuseme;butI'vebeensoverycarelessastolosemyhandkerchiefdowninyourback-yard.'Yououghttohaveseentheprettypinkcolorriseinhercheeks;andshesaidinsuch

acunningway,'I'llgetitforthee!'

"'Oh,dear,no,'saidI,'don'ttroubleyourself.Pleaseletmegooutintoyourprettylittlegardenthere.'

"Well,theupshotwas,wewentintothegardenandhadalongchatabouttheflowers.Andshepickedmequiteabouquetofgeraniums.AndthenItoldherallaboutourlittlegarden,andhowIwantedtomakethingsgrowinit,anddidn'tknowhow;andaskedherifshewouldn'tteachme.Well,then,shetookmeintothenicestlittledrabnestofaparlorthateveryousaw.Thecarpetwasdrab, and the curtainswere drab, and the sofas and chairswere all coveredwithdrab;butthewindowswereperfectlyblazingwithflowers.Shehadmostgorgeous nasturtium vines trained all around the windows, and scarletgeraniumsthatwouldreallymakeyoureyeswinktolookatthem.Icouldn'thelplaughingalittletomyself,thattheymakeitapartoftheirreligionnottohave any color, and then fall backuponall thesehigh-coloredoperationsoftheLordbywayofbrighteninguptheirhouses.However,Igotagreatdealofinstructionoutofher,andshe'sgoingtocomeinandshowmehowtoarrangemyfernsandotherthingsIgatheredinthecountry,inaWard'scase;andshe'sgoingtoshowme,too,howtoplantanivy,soastohaveitgrowallaroundthisbay-window.Theinsideofhersisaperfectbower."

"Iperceive,"saidI,"theresultofallwasthatyousworeeternalfriendshiponthespot,justliketheEvathatyouare."

"Precisely."

"Andyoudidn'thavethefearofyourgentilitybeforeyoureyes?"

"Notabit.Ialwayshavedetestedgentility."

"Youdon'tevenknowthebusinessofherhusband."

"ButIdo,though.He'sawatchmaker,andworksforTiffany&Co.Iknow,because she showedme a curious little clock of his construction; and thesethingscameoutinaparenthesis,yousee."

"I see the hopeless degradation which this will imply in Aunt Maria'seyes,"saidI.

"AfigforAuntMaria,andafigfortheworld!I'mmarriednow,andcandoas I've amind to.Besides, you knowQuakers are notworld's people.Theyhave come out from it, and don't belong to it. There's something reallyrefreshingaboutthisdearlittlebody,withher 'thee's'andher 'thou's'andhernicelittleways.Andthey'reyoungmarriedpeople,justlikeus.She'sbeeninthishouseonlyayear.But,Harry,sheknowseverybodyonthestreet,—notinaworldlyway,butinthewayofhersect.She'smadeavisitationofChristianlovetoeveryoneofthem.Now,isn't thatpretty?She'sbeentoseewhatshe

coulddo for them,and tooffer friendshipandkindoffices. Isn't that sortofArcadian,now?"

"Well,andwhatdoesshetellyou?"

"Oh,thereareagreatmanyinterestingpeopleonthisstreet.Ican'ttellyouallaboutitnow,butsomethatIthinkwemusttrytogetacquaintedwith.Inthe thirdstoryof thathouseopposite tous isapoorFrenchgentleman,whocame to New York a political refugee, hoping to give lessons; but has nofacultyforgettingalong,andhiswife,adelicatelittlewomanwithababy,andthey'revery,verypoor.I'mgoingwithhertovisitthemsometimethisweek.ItseemsthisdearlittleRuthwaswithherwhenherbabywasborn,—thisdearlittle Ruth! It struck me so curiously to see how interesting she thinkseverybodyonthisstreetis."

"Simply," said I, "because she looks at them from the Christian stand-point.Well,dear,Ican'tbutthinkyournewacquaintanceisanacquisition."

"Andonlythink,Harry,thisnicelittlepersonisoneofthepeoplethatAuntMariacallsnobody;not rich,not fashionable,notof theworld, inshort;butjustassweetandlovelyandrefinedasshecanbe.Ithinkthoseplain,sinceremanners are so charming. Itmakes you feel so very near to people to havethemcallyoubyyourChristiannamerightaway.ShecallsmeEvaandIcallherRuth;andIfeelsomehowasifImustalwayshaveknownher."

"Iwanttoseeher,"saidI.

"Youmust. It'll amuseyou tohaveher lookatyouwithhergrave,quieteyes,andcallyouHarryHenderson.Whataneffectithastohearone'ssimple,commonname,withoutfussortitle!"

"Yes,"saidI,"IrememberhowlongIcalledyouEvainmyheart,whileIwasaddressingyouatarm'slengthasMissVanArsdel."

"ItwasinthePark,Harry,thatwelosttheMr.andMiss,nevertofindthemagain."

"I've often thought it strange," said I, "how these unworldly modes ofspeaking among the Quakers seem to have with them a certain dignity. Itwouldbeanoffense,apieceofvulgarforwardness,inmostpeopletoaddressyou by your Christian name. But, with them it seems to be an attempt atrealizingacertainidealofChristiansimplicityandsincerity,whichonealmostlosessightofintheconventionalcourseoflife."

"Iwasverymuchamused,"saidmywife,"athertellingmeofoneofhervisitsofChristianlovetoaJewfamily,livingonthisstreet.Andreally,Harry,she has learned an amount of good about the Jews, from cultivating anintimacywith this family, that isquiteastonishing. I'dno ideahowgood the

Jewswere."

"Well, my little High-Church darling," said I, "you're in a fair way tobecomeultra-liberal,and tofind thatwhatyoucall theChurchdoesn'tcomeanywherenear representing thewholemultitudeof the elect in thisworld. Icomfortmyselfwith thinking,all the time,howmuchmoregood there is intheworldandinhumannaturethanappearsonthesurface."

"And,now,Harry, thatyouand Ihave thishomeofourown,wecandosome of those thingswith it that our friends next door seem to be doing. Ithoughtwemightstiraboutandseeifwecouldn'tgetupaclassforthispoorFrenchman,andI'mgoingtocallonhiswife.Infact,Harry,I'vebeenthinkingthatitmustbeone'sownfaultifonehasnofriendsinone'sneighborhood.Ican'tbelieveinlivingonastreet,andneverknowingorcaringwhetheryournext-doorneighborissickordead,simplybecauseyoubelongtoacircleupattheotherendofthecity."

"Well,dear,youknowthatIamademocratbynature.ButIamdelightedto have youmake these discoveries for yourself. It was bad enough, in theview of your friends, presume, for me to have come between you and afashionable establishment, andapalaceon thePark,withoutbeingguiltyofintroducingyouintosuchverymixedsocietyasthecoursethatyou'refallingintoseemstopromise.ButwhereveryougoI'llfollow."

CHAPTERLI.

MYWIFEPROJECTSHOSPITALITIES.

Mydear,"saidmywifetomeatbreakfast,"ourhouseisaboutdone.TobesurethereareeversomanylittlenicetiesthatIhaven'tgotasyet,butit'sprettyenough now. So that I'm not at all ashamed to show it tomamma or AuntMaria,oranyofthem."

"Do you think," said I, "that last-named respectable individual couldpossibly thinkofcountenancingus,whenwehaveonlyan ingraincarpetonour parlor and nothing but mattings on the chambers, and live down herewherenobodylives?"

"Well,poorsoul!"saidEva,"she'llhavetoacceptitasoneofthetrialsoflife,andhaverecoursetotheconsolationsofreligion.Then,afterall,Harry,Ireallyamproudofourparlor.Ofcourse,we'vehad thegood luck tohaveagoodmanyhandsomeornamentsgiven tous; so that, thoughwehaven't theregulationthingsthatpeoplegenerallyget,itdoeslookverybrightandpretty."

"It's perfectly lovely," said I. "Our house to me is a perfect dream ofloveliness. I think of it all day from time to timewhen I'm at work inmyoffice,andamalwayswantingtocomehomeandseeitagain,andhavealittlecuriositytoknowwhatnewthingyou'veaccomplished.Sofar,yourcareerhasbeenadailysuccessionoftriumphs,andthebestofitisthatit'sallsomuchlikeyou."

"So,"saidshe,"thatIcan'tbejealousatyourlovingthehousesomuch.Isupposeyouthinkitasmuchapartofmeastheshellonaturtle'sback.Well,now,beforeweinvitemotherandAuntMaria,andallthefolksdownhere,Ipropose that we have just a nice little housewarming, with our own littleprivateparticularset,whoknowhowtoappreciateus."

"Agreed!"said I;"Bolton,andJim,andAlice,andyouandIwillhaveacommemoration-dinner together.Our fellows,yousee,seemtofeelasmuchinterestedinthishouseasifitweretheirown."

"I know it," said she. "Isn't it really amusing to see the grandfatherlyconcernthatBoltonhasforourcooking-stove?"

"Oh!Boltonhasstakedhischaracteronthatstove,"Isaid."Itssuccessisquiteapersonalmatternow."

"Well,itdoesbakeadmirably,"saidmywife,"andIthinkourdinnerwillbeaperfectsuccess,sofarasthatisconcerned.And,doyouknow,I'mgoingtointroducethatnewwayofdoingupcoldchickenwhichI'veinvented."

"Yes,"saidI,"weshallchristenitChickenàlaEva."

"AndI'vebeentalkingwithourMaryaboutit,andshe'squiteinthespiritoftheaffair.Yousee,likeallIrishwomen,Maryperfectlyworshipstheboys,and thinks there never was anybody like Mr. Bolton, and Mr. Jim; and ofcourseit'squitealaboroflovewithher.ThenI'vebeengivingherlittlecubthereaseriesoflessonstoenablehertowaitontable;andsheisallexercisedwiththeprospect."

"Why,"saidI,"thelittleflibberty-gibbetishardlyashighasthetable."

"Oh,neversaythatbeforeher.Shefeelsveryhighindeedintheworld,andisimpressedwiththeawfulgravityandresponsibilityofbeingeightyearsold.Ihavemadeherawhiteapronwithpockets, inwhichhersouldelights;andhermotherhasstarchedandironedittillitshineswithwhiteness.Andsheislearningtobrushthetable-cloth,andchangeplatesinthemostcharmingway,andwithagravitythatisquiteovercoming."

"Capital!"saidI."Andwhenshallitbe?"

"To-morrownight."

"Agreed!I'lltellthefellowsthisistobearegularblow-out,andwemustdo our very prettiest, which is very pretty indeed," said I, "thanks to thecontributions of our numerous friends. For my part, I think the fashion ofwedding-presentshasprovedaluckythingforus."

"Even ifwe have six pie-knives, and no pie to eatwith them," saidmywife,"asmayhappeninourestablishmentprettyoften."

"Still,"saidI,"amongthemallthereareasufficiencyofarticlesthatgivequiteanotheraspecttoourprudentlittlehousefromwhatitwouldwearifwewereobligedtobuyeverythingourselves."

"Yes," saidmywife, "andone suchpresent as that setofbronzeson themantel-piece gives an air to a whole room. A mantel-piece is like a lady'sbonnet.It'stheheadpieceofaroom,andifthatbepleasingtherestisagooddeal taken for granted. Then, you see, our parlor is all of a warm color,—crimson carpet, crimson curtains,—everything warm and glowing. And solongasyouhavethecoloritisn'tabitofmatterwhetheryourcarpetcostthreedollarsandahalfayardoreighty-sevencents,andwhetheryourcurtainsaredamaskorTurkeyred.Coloriscolor,andwillproduceitseffects,nomatterinwhatmaterial."

"Andwemen,"saidI,"neverknowwhatthematerialis,ifonlytheeffectis pleasant. I always look at a room as a painting. It never occurs to mewhether thearticles in itarecheapordear, so thatonly thegeneraleffect iswarm,andsocial,andagreeable.And that is justwhatyouhavemade theserooms. I think the general effect of the rooms, either by daylight, or lamp-light,orfirelight,wouldbetomakeapersonliketostayinthem,andwhenhehadleftthemwanttocomeback."

"Yes,"saidmywife,"Iflattermyselfourroomshavetheairofbelongingtopeoplethatarehavingnicetimes,andenjoyingthemselves,asweare.And,formyownpart,Ifeellikesittingrightdowninthem.Allthatroundofparty-going,andcalling,andvisiting, that Iused tohave tokeepup,seems tomereallywearisome. Iwant you to understand,Harry, that it's not the slightestsacrificeintheworldformetogiveitup.I'mjusthappytobeoutofit."

"Yousee,"saidI,"wecansitdownhereandmakeourownworld.Thosethatwereallylikeverymuchandwholikeusverymuchwillcometous.Myidealofgoodsocietyisofafewcongenialpersonswhocanknoweachothervery thoroughly, so as to feel perfectly acquainted and at home with oneanother. That was the secret of those reunions that went on somany yearsaround Madame Récamier. It made no difference whether she lived in apalace,oralittleobscurestreet;herfriendswererealfriends,andfollowedhereverywhere.TheFrenchhavemadeascienceofthecultivationoffriendship,whichisworthstudy."

ThusmywifeandIchatted,andfelicitatedeachother,inthosefirsthappyhome making days. There was never any end to our subjects of mutualconversation. Every little change in our arrangements was fruitful inconversation.Wehungourpictureshereatfirst,andlikedthemwell,butourmaturer second-thoughts receivedbright inspirations to take themdownandhangthemthere;and thenwe liked thembetter. Imustsay,by theby, that Ihadcommittedoneofthoseextravaganceswhichloversdocommitwhentheyshut theireyesandgo itblind. Ihadboughtback thepicturesofEva's littleboudoir fromGoupil's.The factwas that therewasaconsiderablesympathyfelt forMr.VanArsdel, and one of themembers of the concernwas a nicefellow, with whom I had some pleasant personal acquaintance. So that theredemptionof thepictureswasplacedata figurewhichmade itpossibleforme to accomplish it. And the pictures themselves were an untold store ofblessednesstous.Ibelievewetookthemalldownandhungthemoverfourtimes,onfoursuccessivedays,beforeweweresatisfiedthatwehadcometoultimateperfection.

CHAPTERLII.

PREPARATIONSFOROURDINNERPARTY.

Harry," said my wife, the morning of the day of our projected house-warming,"there'sonethingyoumustgetme."

"Well,Princess?"

"Well,youknowyouandIdon'tcareforwineanddon'tneedit,andcan'taffordit,butIhavesuchaprettysetofglassesanddecanters,andyoumustgetmeacoupleofbottlesjusttosetoffourtableforcelebration."

Immediately I thought of Bolton's letter, of what he had toldme of theeffectofwineuponhissensesatHestermannsdinnertable.Iknewitmustnotbe at ours, but how to explain tomywifewithout compromisinghim!At aglance I saw that all through the future my intimacy with Bolton must beguidedandcoloredbywhat Iknewofhishistory,hispeculiarstrugglesandtemptations,andthatnotmerelynow,butonmanyfutureoccasionsIshouldneedafullunderstandingwithmywifetoactasIshouldbeobligedtoact.IreflectedthatEvaandIhadceasedtobetwoandhadbecomeone,thatIowedheranunlimitedconfidenceinthoserespectswheremyactionsmustinvolvehercomfort,orwishes,orcoöperation.

"Eva,darling,"Isaid,"yourememberItoldyoutherewasamysteryabouttheseparationofBoltonandCaroline."

"Yes, of course," said she,wondering, "butwhat has this todowith thiswinequestion?"

"Agreatdeal,"Isaid,andgoingtomydeskItookoutBolton'sletterandputitintoherhand."Readthatmydearandthentellmewhattodo."ShetookitandreadwithsomethingoftheeagernessoffemininecuriositywhileIlefttheroomforafewmoments.Inalittlewhileshecameaftermeandlaidherhandonmyarm.

"Harry,dear,"shesaid"I'llstandbyyouin this thing.Hissecretshallbesacredwithme,andIwillmakeasafeharborforhimwherehemayhaveahomewithoutdanger.Iwantourhousetoseemlikeahomeforhim."

"Youareanangel,Eva."

"Well,Harry,ImustsayIalwayshavehadconscienceaboutofferingwinetosomeyoungmenthatIknewoughttokeepclearofit,butitneveroccurredtomeinregardtosuchagravenoblemanasBolton."

Weneverknowwhomaybe in thisdanger. It isadiseasedactionof thenervous system—often inherited—a thing very little understood, like thetendency to insanity or epilepsy. But while we know such things are, wecannotbetoocareful.

"Ishouldneverhaveforgivenmyself,Harry,ifIhaddoneit."

"TheresultwouldhavebeenthatBoltonwouldneverhavedinedwithusagain,he is resolute tokeepentirelyoutofallsocietywhere this temptationmeetshim."

"Well, we don't want it, don't need it, and won't have it. Mary makesmagnificent coffee and that's even somuch better. So thatmatter is settled,Harry,andI'meverandeversogladyoutoldme.Idoadmirehimsomuch!Thereissomethingreallysadandnobleinhisstruggle."

"Many a man with that temptation who fails often exercises more self-denial,andself-restraint,thanmostChristians,"saidI.

"I'msureIdon'tdenymyselfmuch.IgenerallywanttodojustwhatIdo,"saidEva.

"Youalwayswanttodoallthatisgoodandgenerous,"saidI.

"I think, on the whole," said Eva, reflectively, "my self-denial is in notdoingwhatotherpeoplewantmeto. I'mlikeMrs.Quickly. Iwant topleaseeverybody.IwantedtopleasemammaandAuntMaria."

"Andcameverynearmarryingamanyoucouldn't lovepurely toobligepeople."

"If youhadn't rescuedme," she said, laughing. "Butnow,Harry, really Iwantsomelittleextravaganceaboutourdinner.Soifwedon'thavewine,buythenicestofgrapesandpears, and Iwill arrangeapretty fruitpiece for thecenterofthetable."

"Mylove,Iwillgetyouallthegrapesandpearsyouwant."

"AndmylittleRuthhassentmeinthislovelytumblerofapplejelly.Yousee I held sweet council with her yesterday on the subject of jelly-making,whereIamonlyanovice,andhersissplendid;literallynow,splendid,forseehow the light shines through it! And do you think the generous little Pussactuallysentmeinhalfadozentumblers."

"Whataperfectsaint!"saidI.

"AndIamtohavealltheflowersinhergarden.Shesaysthefrostwilltaketheminadayortwoifwedon't.Harry,nextsummerwemusttakelessonsofheraboutourlittlebackyard.Ineversawsomuchmadeofsolittleground."

"She'llbeonlytoodelightful,"saidI.

"Well,now,mindyouarehomeatfive.Iwantyoutolookthehouseoverbeforeyourfriendscome,andseeifIhavegoteverythingasprettyasitcanbe."

"Aretheyto"process"throughthehouseandseeyourblueroom,andyourpinkroom,andyourguestchamber,andall?"

"Yes. Iwant them to see all throughhowpretty the roomsare, and thensometimes,perhaps,weshalltemptthemtostayallnight."

"AndsleepinthechamberthatiscalledPeace,"saidI,"afterthefashionofPilgrim'sProgress."

"Come,Harry,begone.Iwantyoutogo,soastobesureandcomebackearly."

CHAPTERLIII.

THEHOUSE-WARMING.

Dear reader, fancy now a low-studded room, with crimson curtains andcarpet,adeeprecessfilledacrimsondivanwithpillows,thelowerpartoftheroomtakenupbyarowofbook-shelves,threefeethigh,whichranallroundtheroomandaccommodatedmylibrary.Thetopofthisformedaconvenient

shelf,onwhichallourprettylittleweddingpresents—statuettes,bronzes,andarticlesofvertu—werearranged.Afire-place,surroundedbyanold-fashionedborderofDutchtiles,withapairofgrandmotherlybrassandirons,nibbedandpolishedtoanextremeofbrightness,exhibitsawoodfire,alllaidinordertobe lighted at the touch of the match. My wife has dressed the house withflowers, which our pretty little neighbor has almost stripped her garden tocontribute. There are vases of fire-colored nasturtiums and many-huedchrysanthemums the arrangement of which has cost the little artist anafternoon'sstudy,butwhichIpronouncetobeperfect.Ihavecomehomefrommyofficeanhourearliertoseeifshehasanycommands.

"Here,Harry,"shesays,withaflushedface,"Ibelieveeverythingnowisaboutasperfectas itcanbe.Nowcomeandstandat thisdoor,andseehowyou think it would strike anybody, when they first came in. You see I'veheapedupthosebronzevasesonthemantelwithnothingbutnasturtiums;andit has such a surprising effect in that dark bronze!Then I've arranged thosewhite chrysanthemums right against these crimson curtains.And now comeoutinthedining-room,andseehowI'vesetthedinner-table!YouseeI'vetheprettiestpossiblecenter-pieceoffruitandflowers.Isn'titlovely?"

OfcourseIkissedherandsaiditwaslovely,andthatshewaslovelier;andshewasaregularlittleenchantress,witch,andfairy-queen,andeversomuchmore to the same purport. And then Alice came down, all equipped forconquest,asprettyanadditionalornamenttothehouseasheartcoulddesire.Andwhen the clockwas on the stroke of six, andwe heard the feet of ourguests at the door, we lighted our altar-fire in the fire-place; for itmust beunderstood that this was a pure coup de théâtre, a brightening, vivifying,ornamental luxury—one of the things we were determined to have, on thestrengthofhavingdeterminednottohaveagreatmanyothers.Howproudwewerewhentheblazestreamedupandlightedthewholeroom,flutteredonthepictures, glinted here and there on the gold bindings of the books, madedreamylightsanddeepshadows,andcalledforthallthebrightglowingcolorofthecrimsontintswhichseemedtogiveouttheirveryhearttofirelight!Mywifewasevidentlyproudof theeffectofall things inourrooms,whichJimdeclaredlookedwarmenoughtobringadeadmantolife.Boltonwasseatedin due form in a great, deep arm-chair, which, we informed him, we hadbought especially with reference to him, and the corner was to be knownhenceforthashiscorner.

"Well,"saidhe,withgravedelight,"Ihavebroughtmyfinalcontributiontoyourestablishment;"andforthwithfromthecapacioushinderpocketsofhiscoat he drew forth a pair of kittens, and set them down on the hearth-rug."There,Harry," he said, gravely, "there are a pair of ballet dancers thatwillperformforyougratis,atanytime."

"Oh,thelittlewitches,theperfectloves!"saidmywifeandAlice,rushingatthem.

Boltonverygravelyproducedfromhispockettwolongstringswithcorksattached to them,andhanging themto thegasfixtures,began,ashesaid, toexhibittheballetdancing,inwhichweallbecameprofoundlyinterested.Thewonderfulleapsandflingsandotherachievementsoftheperformersoccupiedthewholetimetilldinnerwasannounced.

"Now,Harry," saidmywife, "ifwe letLittleCub see thekittens, beforeshe's waited on table, it'll utterly demoralize her. So wemust shut them incarefully,"whichwasdone.

I don't think a dinner partywas ever amore brilliant success than ours;partly owing to the fact that wewere amutual admiration society, and ourguestsfeltaboutasmuchsenseofappropriationandpropertyinitaswedidourselves.Thehousewasinasortofmeasure"ourhouse,"andthedinner"ourdinner." In short, we were all of us strictly en famille. The world was onething, and we were another, outside of it and by ourselves, and having aremarkablygoodtime.Everybodygotsomeshareofpraise.Marygotpraisedfor her cooking. The cooking-stove was glorified for baking so well, andBoltonwasglorifiedforrecommendingthecooking-stove.AndJimandAliceandmywifecongratulatedeachotheronthelovelylooksofthedining-room.We shuddered together inmutual horror overwhat thewall-paper there hadbeen;andwefelicitatedtheartiststhathadbroughtsuchbrilliantresultsoutofso little.The difficulties that had been overcome inmatching the paper andarrangingthepanelswereforciblydweltupon;andsomeslyjokesseemedtopassbetweenJimandAlice,applicabletocertainturnsofeventsinthesepastoperations.Afterdinnerwehadmosttranscendentcoffee,andreturnedtoourparlorasgayofheartasifwehadbeenmerrywithwine.Thekittenshadgotthoroughly at home by that time, having investigated the whole of theapartment,andbeganexhibitingsomeoftheirmostirresistibleantics,withasocial success among us of amost flattering nature.Alice declared that sheshouldcallthemTaglioniandMadameCéleste,andproceededtotieblueandpinkbowsupon theirnecks,which they scratchedandgrowledat inquite awarlikemanner.Alowwhinefromtheentryinterruptedus;andEva,openingthedoor and lookingout, sawpoor oldStumpy sittingon themat,with themostgood-dogairofdejectedpatience.

"Why,here'sStumpy,poorfellow!"shesaid.

"Oh,don'ttroubleyourselfabouthim,"saidBolton."I'vetaughthimtositoutonthemat.He'shappyenoughifheonlythinksI'minside."

"But,poorfellow,"saidEva,"helooksasifhewantedtocomein."

"Oh,he'lldowellenough;nevermindhim," saidBolton, lookinga littleembarrassed."Itwassillyofmetobringhim,onlyheissodesolatetohavemegooutwithouthim."

"Well, he shall come in," said Eva. "Come in, you poor homely oldfellow," she said. "I daresay you're as good as an angel; and to-night's myhouse-warming,andnotevenadogshallhaveanungratifieddesire, if Icanhelpit."

SopoorStumpywasinstalledbyBoltoninthecorner,andlookedperfectlybeatified.

Andnow,whilewehavebroughtallourcharactersbeforethecurtain,andthe tableauof the fireside is complete, aswe sit there all around thehearth,eachperfectly athomewith theother, inheart andmind, andwith even thepoorbeaststhatconnectuswiththelowerworldbrighteninginourenjoyment,thisisagoodmomentforthecurtaintofallonthefortunesofMyWifeandI.

THEEND.

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