Julia Wood: growing up feminine.
1. Appearance still counts.
I want a wife.
J. Krishnamurti once state that relationship is complex and difficult, and few come out of it unscathed . . .
Carrie Fisher: “Instant gratification takes too long . . .
Ever been in a relationship that starts with a bang . . .
What happens?
Tannen: males talk to preserve independence, renegotiate or maintain status in a hierarchy.
Multi-tasking = several projects going on at the same time
Polychronicity = time is not linear, and people learn to manage projects chaotically
• may have better managerial skills
• more tuned to nonverbal communication
• more concerned about physical appearance
couples:
• traditional = male dominance
• modern = gender roles change
• traditional male/modern female
• modern male/traditional female
When do gender “differences” become gender “deficiencies??”
Brenda Allen
relational socialization as oppression,
resistance to the “normal” relationship as marginalization.
Feminist Afro-American standpoint epistemology provides a more inclusive look.
It is a particular kind of resource which is both strange and close by.
This perspective can lead to emancipation and social change.
When we look at relational socialization we are in an arena of control, power and resistance.
Anticipatory socialization is what you have learned from life before you go to into a new relationship.
Putnam: A feminist approach treats gender as a lens through which to view relationship, rather than a variable.
It reconstructs trust as trust in the process: occurs before/during/after interaction.
In a feminist relationship we engage each other/ connect.
We enhance our interdependence.
We develop personal relationships.
We build support which enables collaboration.
We develop joint definitions of issues and options.
We foster a dialogic orientation to developing joint sense making.
We view transformation as the desired outcome.
We employ multiple frames: vary figure and ground.
We learn shared stories, and to vary story.
Mumby - reconstruction of power from a postmodern feminist perspective.
Relationship between feminism and postmodernism is the latter undermines the former.
Sense of self in postmodernism is a response to success of capitalism, and very local.
“Death of the subject” means there is no sense of agency at the very time when women are trying to become agents.
We need to open up the notion of subject for reconstruction.
Masculinity is a social struggle, a contested sight. We need to examine the impact of masculinity on relational process.