DESIGN YOUR LIFE
The Craft of Being Alive
“Be patient. Nothing worth doing is worth doing quickly. Nothing worth building is worth building in a rush. Nothing of value is formed in a minute.
Plan in decades. Think in years. Work in months. Live in days.”
Nic Haralambous
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Four-Step Refinement
DISCOVER
PLAN
ACT
EXCEL
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DISCOVER 01
A typology to gain insights into self-awareness and personal development. Knowing your Enneagram can help you “catch yourself in the act” and react in productive ways in the context of business, relationship, parenting, personal growth, and all forms of communication. You can orient yourself to higher cognitive and psychological qualities based on your Enneagram type.
Discover: Uncover Self Through Enneagram
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Type Basic Fear Basic Desire Temptation Addiction/Trap
1 Being bad To be reasonable Self-righteousness Perfection/Justice
2 Being unloved To be loving People-pleasing Service
3 Being worthless To be outstanding Driven to excel Achievement
4 Being without identity To be unique Given to fantasy and mood
Elitism
5 Being incapable To be perceptive Conceptual and removed from immediacy
Knowledge
6 Being without support
To be reliable Invest in external source of security
Security
7 Being deprived To be enthusiastic Restless and acquisitive
Idealism
8 Being To be strong Highly pragmatic and self-sufficient
Arrogance
9 Being separated To feel whole and peaceful
Highly accommodating
Indecision/Self-abasement
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Discover: Uncover Self Through Enneagram
Take the free test or a full test for USD12 here: www.enneagraminstitute.com/guide-to-all-riso-hudson-tests Now that you understand your internal structure and your continuum of behaviors, attitudes, defenses and motivations, how would you use this understanding in your life? Note: Recommendations expressed in this presentation are not associated with any partnerships or sponsorships.
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Discover: Exercise
Driver Inner Outer
Basic Certainty – Need for control, order, predictability, safety, security
Uncertainty – Need for adventure, challenge, change, excitement, variety
Self Significance – Need to feel important, special, wanted, worthy of love
Love & Connection – Need for attachment, communication, intimacy
Spirit Growth – Need for constant emotional, intellectual and spiritual development
Contribution – Need to care, give, protect and serve other
Every day we react, respond, and make choices in ways that are driven by our human needs. Meeting our human needs is key to becoming fulfilled and successful.
by Tony Robbins
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Discover: Identify Your 6 Human Needs
What are your top two human needs? Find out here: six-human-needs-test.herokuapp.com/members/new How are you meeting your human needs? Are you meeting your needs in a constructive or damaging ways? Note: Recommendations expressed in this presentation are not associated with any partnerships or sponsorships.
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Discover: Exercise
“…Your work is the process of achieving your values, and to lose your ambition for values is to lose your ambition to live--that your body is a
machine, but your mind is its driver, and you must drive as far as your mind will take you, with achievement as the goal of your road--that the man who
has no purpose is a machine that coasts downhill at the mercy of any boulder to crash in the first chance ditch, that the man who stifles his mind is
a stalled machine slowly going to rust, that the man who lets a leader prescribe his course is a wreck being towed to the scrap heap, and the man who makes another man his goal is a hitchhiker no driver should ever pick
up--that your work is the purpose of your life, and you must speed past any killer who assumes the right to stop you, that any value you might find outside your work, any other loyalty or love, can be only travelers you
choose to share your journey and must be travelers going on their own power in the same direction.”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
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Your value system is a set of principles that drives and guides your perceptions and behaviors. It determines what is important, meaningful, or ethical to you. It shapes your priorities and defines your views on success. It protects you from “going with the flow”, impulse, and instant gratification by giving you an inner personal compass for solid reasoning and decision-making. Values can change over time.
Discover: Establish Your Value System
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1. When do you feel happiest? 2. When do you feel most fulfilled and satisfied? 3. When do you feel most peaceful and relaxed? 4. What are the achievements you are most proud of? 5. What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken? 6. What do you think about / daydream about / your
dominant thought? 7. What do you talk about in social setting? 8. What do you love to learn and read about? 9. What are your goals? 10. What inspires you? 11. How do you fill your personal physical space? 12. How do you spend your time? 13. How do you spend your energy? 14. How do you spend your money? 15. In which areas of your life do you have the most order
and organization? 16. In which areas of your life are you most reliable,
disciplined and focused? 17. In what ways have you allowed fear to hold you back
from doing what you wish to do?
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Discover: Exercise
Legacy Love Loyalty Making a difference Mastery Merit Obedience Openness Order Originality Patriotism Perfection Piety Positivity Practicality Preparedness Professionalism Prudence Reliability Resourcefulness Restraint Results-oriented Rigor Security Self-actualization Self-control
Accountability Accuracy Achievement Adventurousness Altruism Ambition Assertiveness Balance Belonging Boldness Calmness Carefulness Challenge Cheerfulness Clear-mindedness Commitment Community Compassion Competitiveness Consistency Contentment Contribution Control Cooperation Correctness Courtesy
Creativity Curiosity Decisiveness Democracy Dependability Determination Devoutness Diligence Discipline Discretion Diversity Dynamism Effectiveness Efficiency Empathy Enjoyment Enthusiasm Equality Excellence Excitement Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Fairness Faith Family
Fidelity Fitness Fluency Focus Freedom Fun Generosity Goodness Grace Growth Happiness Health Holiness Honesty Honor Humility Independence Ingenuity Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Intelligence Intellectual Status Intuition Joy Justice Leadership
Selflessness Self-reliance Sensitivity Service Simplicity Spirituality Spontaneity Stability Strength Structure Success Support Teamwork Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Timeliness Tolerance Traditionalism Trustworthiness Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Vision Vitality
This list is a guideline. You may use your own word outside of this list.
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Discover: Exercise
“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”
Roy Disney
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My basic fear and desire are _________________. I am inclined to _________________. To feel happy and satisfied, I strive to meet my top 2 needs of ____________ and ____________. My life is shaped by my values of: 1. _________________ 2. _________________ 3. _________________ 4. _________________ 5. _________________ 6. _________________
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Discover: Exercise
PLAN 02
If you don’t plan your own life, someone else will. You can’t get what you want out of life until you know what you don’t want and what you want. The level of success in your life depends on how clear the image is fixed in your mind. The challenge is getting clarity on what you really want. Today’s objective is to help you articulate your purpose which stems from your personal values, and then create an actionable plan that you can focus on.
Plan: Why is Purpose Important?
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1. When are you most productive? When do you lose track of time? 2. What did you enjoy doing as a child that you’ve stopped doing as an adult? 3. What’s one thing that is most often on your mind that you’d like to bring change
or manifest into your life? 4. If no obstacles stood in the way, what would you most like to achieve in life right
now/in 10 years/in 20 years? 5. What’s the most important thing you can do with your time? 6. What’s one thing that you think is wrong about the world/your community and
bothers you the most? 7. When do you enjoy working? When does work become more challenging or
draining? 8. Whose career or work ethic do you admire, and what characteristics do you
admire them for? 9. How do you define success for yourself? How would success fulfill your value
system? 10. What are you willing to struggle for? What would be one problem worthy of your
life which would inspire and enliven you?
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Plan: Exercise
ACT 03
“Passion is the result of action, not the cause of it.”
Mark Manson
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You are your word. Declare your purpose and plan, become emotionally invested, and take actions towards it. Articulating and accomplishing your commitment is a way to build up your personal integrity. The muscle of doing what you say you will do takes practice. Break down your purpose into goals and weekly promises to ourselves. Promises build on each other as a process of learning what works for you and toward bigger plans. Promise should be realistic: something you believe can happen and can be turned into a habit or routine. Be as specific as possible: duration, how long, how, far. Create consequence for failing to meet promise so you can restore integrity.
Act: Structure for Success
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1. Career 2. Character 3. Emotional Life 4. Financial Life 5. Health & Fitness 6. Intellectual Life 7. Life Vision 8. Parenting 9. Quality of Life 10. Romantic Relationship 11. Social Life 12. Spiritual Life
Act: 12 Key Areas in Life
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Act: Turn Purpose into Commitments
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End Result Doors Specific Activities
Area Attachment Action Accountability
Why I want it / How does it serve me?
Start doing
Stop doing
Action Kept/Not Kept?
Action Not Kept -
Consequence
Milestone to achieve Timeline
Career Character
Emotional Life
Financial Life Health & Fitness Intellectual Life Life Vision Parenting Quality of Life Romantic Relationship
Social Life Spiritual Life
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Act: Exercise
Taking responsibility means declaring you are the cause in the matter and you have both the power and resources to shape the result you desire. When you place accountability on other people for your outcomes and circumstances, you give your personal power away and remove yourself as the primary creative force in your life. Lack of absolute responsibility leads to pessimism, resignation, cynicism and resentment. When you blame other people, it becomes an invisible shield to keep us safe from looking bad. It is also a barrier that stops you from getting what you want.
Act: Take Absolute Responsibility
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Refer to the 12 areas and pick out the areas n your life where you do not have power, freedom or full self-expression. Begin to tell the truth about the unworkability in each area of your life. Tell the truth without any validation, loss of power or embarrassment. Get present to the impact of them. Select one area and answers these questions: • Which area in my life am I not taking full responsibility right now? • What are some of my patterns of pessimism or helplessness? • What triggers negativity or victimhood in me? • What is my pretense? • What is the cost of my pretense? • How can I begin to take responsibility? • How will my life change when I take responsibility?
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Act: Exercise
EXCEL 04
3 sources of upset: thwarted intention, unfulfilled expectation, undelivered communication. Distinguish a persistent upset in your life - • My usual complaint is: • My fixed way of being is: • The payoff is: being right / own domination / winning / justify yourself • The cost is: love / affinity / self expression / satisfaction / fulfillment • What I am going to do to drop this upset:
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Excel: Upset Barrier
When an expectation is not met, disappointment or upset occurs. Expectation is a way of perceiving how the future “should” or “must be”. Looking back and using the words “should have” create a space in your mind that is separate from reality and what actually happened. You attach yourself to that space and it becomes an anchor on your tail that keeps you from being in the present or moving forward into the future. “Should-ing all over yourself” disassociates you from reality.
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Excel: Expectation Barrier
Select areas where you have had fear of failing, rejection or looking bad. • What worries you? • What are you trying to protect? • What are you avoiding? • What steps can you take to face your fear head on?
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Excel: Fear Barrier
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