Is Negotiation a Man’s Game?
Or…How To Get What
You Want
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@AdvSpringCEO
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YOU
Colleagues
Boss
Partner
ChildrenWider family
Contractors and Service Providers
Customers
Ourselves
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Negotiation is…
Two or more parties resolving differences
to try to reach agreement
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Some Common
Negotiation
Mistakes…
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Trying to avoid negotiation
Thinking it’s about winning
Assuming everyone shares
your values
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Negotiation
is a necessary ritual
It’s part of our DNA
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Trying to avoid negotiation
Thinking it’s about winning
Assuming everyone shares
your values
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SATISFIED
How do you want the other
party to feel after
negotiating with you?
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Trying to avoid negotiation
Thinking it’s about winning
Assuming everyone shares
your values
The behaviours of negotiators
The values of society
Caring
Considerate
Co operative
Dependable
Fair
Generous
Honest
Open
Rational
Reliable
Truthful
Unselfish
Willing
Arrogant
Closed
Dishonest
Emotional
Inconsiderate
Indifferent
Irrational
Mean
Rejecting
Selfish
Unfair
Unreasonable
Unreliable
Untruthful
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So what should we
be doing?
Discover
Establish
Ask
Lead
Seal it!
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The most powerful phrase in
negotiation
If you…
Then I…
Move beyond the
obvious to offer
solutions
DeadlineLeave
entitlement
Overtime
Flexible working
Disciplinary procedure
Joint statement
Total Value
Nothing is agreed
until everything is
agreed
NOIs just the starting
point
And don’t underestimate the need to ‘save face’
See the world through their eyes…
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We don’t ask and we don’t aim high enough when we
do
Women are viewed more negatively if
they ‘ask’
We are more effective at
negotiating for others
So…Is it a Man’ Game?
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We don’t ask and we don’t aim high enough when we
do
Women are viewed more negatively if
they ‘ask’
We are more effective at
negotiating for others
So…Is it a Man’ Game?
• Carnegie Mellon University Starting Salary Study – 7% women negotiated compared to 57% of men = $4,000 difference
• Boggle Research - $3-$10 dollars for taking part – offered $3 at the end as standard… Men 9 times more likely to push back
• US Open – Women players 80% less likely to dispute a close line call
TIP: Negotiate! And
be ambitious
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We don’t ask and we don’t aim high enough when we
do
We are more effective at
negotiating for others
Women are viewed more negatively if
they ‘ask’
So…Is it a Man’ Game?
• US Legislators and Constituents Research
• Harvard Research – Female Executives secure higher bonuses for their teams than Male Executives
TIPS:
Professor Neale – ‘Husband, Horses,
Chickens’ Embrace it!
Dr Lois Frankel tweeted to ‘put the
same effort into representing
ourselves’
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We don’t ask and we don’t aim high enough when we
do
Women are viewed more negatively if
they ‘ask’
We are more effective at
negotiating for others
So…Is it a Man’ Game?
• Social penalty for women that negotiate…
• Deemed as ‘unfeminine’ behaviours
• Impact on likeability? – Liked v Respected
• Effective planning can help manage this
• Have your business case ready
• The aggressive/ assertive dilemma
TIP: Just Ask… but do it in the right way and challenge the perceptions held
by men… and women
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And the biggest mistake?
Underestimating
the impact of
PEOPLE
Know the facts, numbers, statistics, precedents, regulations, trends…
But don’t forget the PEOPLE.
Negotiation is also about how we interact, behave, react, view each other, test each other,
perceive each other and how confident we feel… and that can make all the difference
Natalie Reynolds
Founder and CEO
[email protected]@advantagespring.com
www.advantagespring.com
@AdvSpring@AdvSpringCEO
Natalie ReynoldsadvantageSPRING