Self, Identity and Self EsteemSelf, Identity and Self Esteem
Lecture 10aLecture 10a
COMN 2111COMN 2111
SITUATED IDENTITYSITUATED IDENTITY
SITUATED IDENTITY GIVEN BY THE ROLE YOU SITUATED IDENTITY GIVEN BY THE ROLE YOU PLAY IN A SITUATION PLAY IN A SITUATION • Presenting SelfPresenting Self• "respectful student," "joking friend," "friendly neighbour," "respectful student," "joking friend," "friendly neighbour,"
and "helpful worker"and "helpful worker" • Same as “Face” Same as “Face”
Line or position you take in an exchangeLine or position you take in an exchange Emotionally loaded “bit of your self” you transmit as Emotionally loaded “bit of your self” you transmit as
part of communicational transactionpart of communicational transaction Create roles that reflect how we want others to Create roles that reflect how we want others to
see us.see us. We often unconsciously act in ways that are We often unconsciously act in ways that are
really small public performancesreally small public performances..
CONVERSATIONAL IDENTITY CONVERSATIONAL IDENTITY (Or Face)(Or Face)
As a part of “small public performance” As a part of “small public performance” we take a position in conversationwe take a position in conversation
Put some of our emotions on the line as Put some of our emotions on the line as we speakwe speak
Others responses to our words our words Others responses to our words our words and non-verbals can cause our “face” to and non-verbals can cause our “face” to feel enhanced or diminished (or neutral)feel enhanced or diminished (or neutral)
This is moment-to-moment management This is moment-to-moment management of identityof identity
Why Manage IdentityWhy Manage Identity
Behavior aimed at making Behavior aimed at making impressionsimpressions
To follow social rulesTo follow social rules To accomplish personal goalsTo accomplish personal goals
• PersuadePersuade• Relational ChangesRelational Changes
HOW WE MANAGEHOW WE MANAGE
MannerManner• consists of a communicator's words and consists of a communicator's words and
nonverbal actionsnonverbal actions..
AppearanceAppearance• personal items people use to shape an imagepersonal items people use to shape an image
SettingSetting• physical items we use to influence how others physical items we use to influence how others
view usview us
SELF ESTEEM: SELF ESTEEM: A REVIEWA REVIEW
SELF ESTEEM: SELF ESTEEM: A REVIEWA REVIEW
SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELFSELF
SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEM
SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEM
Video Example
SELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEM
SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELFSELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELF AM I CAPABLE? (Can I Do Anything Well/Right?)AM I CAPABLE? (Can I Do Anything Well/Right?) DO I MATTER? (Am I OK?)DO I MATTER? (Am I OK?) CAN I INFLUENCE MY LIFE? (Do I Have a Choice?)CAN I INFLUENCE MY LIFE? (Do I Have a Choice?) BASED ON:BASED ON: PERSONAL EXPERIENCE/ASPIRATIONSPERSONAL EXPERIENCE/ASPIRATIONS CULTURAL IDEALSCULTURAL IDEALS GENETIC PREDISPOSITIONSGENETIC PREDISPOSITIONS
THREAT TO SELF ESTEEMTHREAT TO SELF ESTEEM
Am I capable (Can I do anything Am I capable (Can I do anything well/right?)well/right?)
Do I matter?Do I matter?
Video Example
Re-Building Self-EsteemRe-Building Self-Esteem
You are capable.You are capable. You do matter.You do matter. You do have a choice.You do have a choice.
Video Example
Self Esteem and CommunicationSelf Esteem and Communication
Level of self esteem Level of self esteem communicated through verbal communicated through verbal and non verbal meansand non verbal means
Affects the types of Affects the types of relationships we develop and relationships we develop and the way we maintain themthe way we maintain them
Changing Esteem LevelsChanging Esteem Levels
Recognize and shift your beliefsRecognize and shift your beliefs Remind yourself of your good Remind yourself of your good
acts, successesacts, successes Choose projects that will let you Choose projects that will let you
winwin Avoid people who are into Avoid people who are into
unnecessary criticism and fault unnecessary criticism and fault finding.finding.
The Self in Communication: The Self in Communication: The Psychological DefensesThe Psychological Defenses
Lecture 10bLecture 10b
COMN 2111: COMMUNICATION IN COMN 2111: COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFEEVERYDAY LIFE
ANOTHER MODEL OF SELFANOTHER MODEL OF SELF
FREUD’S MODEL OF SELFFREUD’S MODEL OF SELF COMPLEMENT’S MEAD’S COMPLEMENT’S MEAD’S
CONSCIOUS MODEL OF SELFCONSCIOUS MODEL OF SELF DEALS WITH UNCONCSCIOUSDEALS WITH UNCONCSCIOUS THREE PARTS: ID, EGO, THREE PARTS: ID, EGO,
SUPEREGOSUPEREGO
FREUD’S MODEL OF SELFFREUD’S MODEL OF SELF
GRATIFY WISHES OF ID GRATIFY WISHES OF ID WITHIN RESTRICTIONSWITHIN RESTRICTIONS OF SUPEREGOOF SUPEREGO
REALITY PRINCIPLEREALITY PRINCIPLE THINKINGTHINKING
EGOEGO
ETHICAL VALUESETHICAL VALUES
MORAL CONSCIENCEMORAL CONSCIENCE EGO IDEALEGO IDEAL
SUPEREGOSUPEREGO
SEXUAL, AGGRESSIVE SEXUAL, AGGRESSIVE INSTINCTSINSTINCTS
PLEASURE PRINCIPLEPLEASURE PRINCIPLE IDID
IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATIONIMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION
KEY PERCEPTION AXIOMKEY PERCEPTION AXIOM
IF WE CAN’T ALTER IF WE CAN’T ALTER CHALLENGING DATA, CHALLENGING DATA, WE WE DISTORT OR IGNOREDISTORT OR IGNORE
WORKS SOMETHING WORKS SOMETHING LIKE THISLIKE THIS
Video Example
SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND DEFENSEDEFENSE
SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND DEFENSEDEFENSE
BETTER TO DEFENDBETTER TO DEFEND INCONSISTENT INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOR OR A POOR SELF-BEHAVIOR OR A POOR SELF-CONCEPT THAN TO CHANGECONCEPT THAN TO CHANGE
AVOID ANXIETY, GUILT FEELINGS -AVOID ANXIETY, GUILT FEELINGS -PAINPAIN
WHEN WE ARE IN TROUBLE WITH WHEN WE ARE IN TROUBLE WITH REALITY WE DEFEND OURSELVES REALITY WE DEFEND OURSELVES BY BY STAYING HIGH ON THE STAYING HIGH ON THE INFERENCE LADDER!INFERENCE LADDER!
DENIALDENIAL REFUSE TO ADMIT THREAT IS RELEVANT TO REFUSE TO ADMIT THREAT IS RELEVANT TO
SELF OR ASSUME IT CAN BE POSTPONEDSELF OR ASSUME IT CAN BE POSTPONED
AVOIDANCEAVOIDANCE REFUSING TO FACE THREAT; NOT BEING IN SITUATION REFUSING TO FACE THREAT; NOT BEING IN SITUATION
WHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ITWHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT
RATIONALIZATIONRATIONALIZATION MOST COMMON: MAKING EXCUSES, EXPLAINING MOST COMMON: MAKING EXCUSES, EXPLAINING
AWAY THREATSAWAY THREATS
INTELLECTUALIZATIONINTELLECTUALIZATION ENGAGING IN DETACHED ANALYSES OF THREATENING ENGAGING IN DETACHED ANALYSES OF THREATENING
PROBLEMSPROBLEMS
DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELF SYSTEM OF THE SELF
DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELF SYSTEM OF THE SELF
DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELFSYSTEM OF THE SELF
DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELFSYSTEM OF THE SELF
DISPLACEMENT: DISPLACEMENT: INSTINCTUAL ACTIVITY IS INSTINCTUAL ACTIVITY IS REDIRECTED FROM A MORE THREATENING ACTIVITIY TO A REDIRECTED FROM A MORE THREATENING ACTIVITIY TO A LESS THREATENING PERSON, OBJECT. KICKING THE CAT, LESS THREATENING PERSON, OBJECT. KICKING THE CAT, PICKING ON ONE’S KIDS INSTEAD OF DEALING REAL THREATSPICKING ON ONE’S KIDS INSTEAD OF DEALING REAL THREATS..
REPRESSION: REPRESSION: BURYING OF THREATENING BURYING OF THREATENING MOTIVES ORFEELINGS IN NON-CONSCIOUSMOTIVES ORFEELINGS IN NON-CONSCIOUS
PROJECTION: PROJECTION: OPPOSITE OF BURYING INSIDE, OPPOSITE OF BURYING INSIDE, ATTRIBUTE THREATENING FEELINGS TO SOMEONE ELSEATTRIBUTE THREATENING FEELINGS TO SOMEONE ELSE
REGRESSION: REGRESSION: REVERT TO EARLIER MORE REVERT TO EARLIER MORE “CHILDLIKE”STATE, OR EARLIER, LESS THREATENING “CHILDLIKE”STATE, OR EARLIER, LESS THREATENING TIMETIME