A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE

Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE

© Mass Ignition1

Doom Cycle

Bloom Cycle

Vs.

Whether you are fully aware of it or not, you are in one cycle or the other

© Mass Ignition2

Cycle CycleVs.

WHY WE DOOM

Finances

“ONENESS BROKEN”

Health

Passions/Hobbies

Family

3

Friends Culture

Kids Career

Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you…through painful toil…all the days… Gen. 3

AddictionsLoss

HOW WE BLOOM

Finances

“ONENESS SUSTAINED”

Kids

Health

Passions/Hobbies

Family

4

Friends Culture

KidsCareer

…they will become one flesh Gen. 2:24Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph. 5:21

Addictions

Loss

WHY WE MUST BLOOM

5

God patterned them after Himself. Gen. 1:27…so that we can be mirrors that reflect His glory 2Cor. 3:18

HOMEWORK: HOMEWORK:

A COMMITMENT PLAN -to sacrificially love daily, yearly, & seasonally

1. Find your vows and verses. Decide what to do with them.2. Clarify your top 2 love languages and list 5 ways it can be met 3. Determine what are the top 3 threats to your oneness

© Mass Ignition6

3. Determine what are the top 3 threats to your oneness 4. List the top 5 reasons you married the other5. Discuss how you will handle your future anniversaries

Bonus: Within the next 6 weeks, write a note of recommitment

What it takes to BLOOM!What it takes to BLOOM!The 5 key nutrients:The 5 key nutrients:

••Commit to LoveCommit to Love

••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect

© Mass Ignition7

••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect••Be Gracious & ForgiveBe Gracious & Forgive••Choose the Right WordsChoose the Right Words••Seek a Greater PurposeSeek a Greater Purpose

DOOMING Myth #2: Most spouses know the other’s core need

© Mass Ignition8

BLOOMING Truth #2: Most spouses’ core needs are unidentified and go unmet

CORE CORE NEEDNEED OF WOMAN/MANOF WOMAN/MAN

MANWOMAN

© Mass Ignition9

MAN

RESPECTEDtask-oriented

fixers“The Hero”

WOMAN

CHERISHEDrelationship-oriented

nurturers“The One”

CORE CORE PROBLEMPROBLEM OF WOMAN/MANOF WOMAN/MAN

© Mass Ignition10

“Our ability to cherish and respect one another is hampered by the sin in us and the sin we see in others.”

CORE CORE SOLUTIONSOLUTION FOR WOMAN/MANFOR WOMAN/MAN

Ephesians 521 Submit to one another out of reverence for

© Mass Ignition11

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…

33 However, each one of you (husbands) also must love (cherish) his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

CHERISH & RESPECT CHERISH & RESPECT However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33

with cherish

she he “DOOM”“DOOM”

© Mass Ignition12

with respect

she responds

he responds

she reacts

he reacts

without respect

without cherish

“BLOOM”“BLOOM”

C&RC&R SIMPLE ACTION SIMPLE ACTION

Commit to love the other in their love language and they will feel

© Mass Ignition13

they will feel cherished or respected.

LL=CR

C&R SIMPLE COMMUNICATION C&R SIMPLE COMMUNICATION

Husbands to Wives:“Lately, I have felt disrespected by you, what have I been doing to not make you feel cherished.”

© Mass Ignition14

Wives to Husbands:“Lately, I have not felt cherished by you,what have I been doing to not make you feel respected.”

HOMEWORK: HOMEWORK: CHERISH & RESPECT

1. Husband asks the following:What have I done or failed to do to make you feel uncherished?What are some things I can do to make you feel cherished?

2. Wives ask the following:

© Mass Ignition15

2. Wives ask the following:What have I done or failed to do to make you feel disrespected?What are some things I can do to make you feel respected?

3. Together reflect back on your love language lists to see how the cherish and respect needs relate.

4. Pray daily asking God’s help to cherish/respect your spouse.