Color - Faux Pitch Deck

Post on 28-Jan-2015

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From the fine folks at New Work City. http://nwc.co/

transcript

Colors.People love that shit.

But what else do people love?

Sharing.

Sharing.Mobile.

Sharing.Mobile.Social.

Sharing.Mobile.Social.Apps.

Sharing.Mobile.Social.Apps.

Sharing mobile social apps.

Color.xxxwill do all that.

AND...

Color.xxxis a mobile social app

that lets you share your favorite color

with your friends and locquaintances.

AND...

Color.xxx's Team Will be

Unbeatable.Unlike Any Other.

They will be...

Lean. 

Lean. Agile. 

Lean. Agile. Organic. 

Lean. Agile. Organic. Grass-fed. 

Lean. Agile. Organic. Grass-fed. Locally grown.

Lean. Agile. Organic. Grass-fed. Locally grown. Acrobatic. 

Lean. Agile. Organic. Grass-fed. Locally grown. Acrobatic. Gluten-free.

Lean. Agile. Organic. Grass-fed. Locally grown. Acrobatic. Gluten-free. Hungry. 

Lean. Agile. Organic. Grass-fed. Locally grown. Acrobatic. Gluten-free. Hungry.Rockstar.  

Lean. Agile. Organic. Grass-fed. Locally grown. Acrobatic. Gluten-free. Hungry.Rockstar. Gurus. 

BUT WHO ARE THE GOT DANG

PRINCIPALS??

Hold onto your pants, we have a slide for that, dawg!

Michael Bay, CEO Chief Executive Officer, Chief Explosions Officer, and

Chief Transformers Coordinator

Michael Bay, CEO Chief Executive Officer, Chief Explosions Officer, and

Chief Transformers Coordinator

Brian Papa, CTO Don't tell him if you fund us he is working for equity.

Michael Bay, CEO Chief Executive Officer, Chief Explosions Officer, and

Chief Transformers Coordinator

Brian Papa, CTO Don't tell him if you fund us he is working for equity.

Mr. Belding, CPO Actual high school principal.

Michael Bay, CEO Chief Executive Officer, Chief Explosions Officer,

 and Chief Transformers Coordinator

Brian Papa, CTO Don't tell him if you fund us; he is working for equity.

Mr. Belding, CPO Actual high school principal.

Dave Morin's Cat, CCO Because everyone loves cats. 

And Dave Morin-related startups.

But will people want to know Ashton's 

favorite color?

But will people want to know Ashton's 

favorite color?

You bet your almost certainly white ass they will.

All it will take is $40.5 million in Venture Capital

funding.

But why invest so much money in something so

simple?

Because 

We have a sick business plan. 

Seriously. We will not just

make wheelbarrows of

money, but several larger wheelbarrows.

How?Well...

We did extensive market research.

We did extensive market research.

We read nearly every post on Hacker News for almost six months. In a row.

And we concluded...

Developers are dicks.Just kidding. We really

concluded...

This can't possiblyever make any

money.

This can't possiblyever make any

money.At least, not enough to fund the ridiculous expenses we 

intend to incur.

This can't possiblyever make any

money.At least, not enough to fund the ridiculous expenses we 

intend to incur.

Like our custom-designed European furniture.

So how will we make money?

We will carefully orchestrate a massive PR campaign.

We will turn down our first offer from a major company with

too much money and too little

sanity. 

Then, at the exact right moment... 

WE'RE GONNA FLIP THIS BITCH LIKE

FLIPPER

But you must act now.

But you must act now.

This only works because the bubble

hasn't burst. 

But it will.

But wait!!

There's more!!

If you invest now, you will have

EXCLUSIVE use of one randomly

assigned hexadecimal color, named after you.

ACT NOW.

Supplies are limited to 16,700,000.

And remember...

People. Colors. Apps. Cats. Bacon.

Organic. Bieber. Mobile.

Social. Local. Pivot. 

Booyah.

INVEST NOW: http://u.nwc.co/colorxxxinvest 

Made by the fine people at New Work City.If you're in NYC and building a real business, 

perhaps you'd like to come hang with us. http://nwc.co http://twitter.com/tonybgoode