‘LINKING’Communication skills and

techniques

Have the tools to express yourself and get it done

Introduction

Communication is not what is SAID……

But what is heard

Agenda

Who I am and my PhilosophyTechniquesExample of theme classes

Who I am

Karen Kotler Darmonkdarmon@free.frhttp://kdarmon.free.fr

Communication is not what you say, but, what is heard:

What does this mean?To be heard I have to communicate in a way that the other person can understand, using their references

This means that I need to use language that is tailored to them

• To their way of seeing things; their culture and style

Interpretation is in the receiver

They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit."

- KONSTANTINOS  LAGOUDAKIS, mayor of Malia on Crete, about young British tourists.

It’s not what you say

But HOW you say it, and you do have quite a reportoire to

choose from

Communication SkillsLearn techniquesDevelop your own style

Structuring

Linking Active listening

Know what you want to say

Learn techniques

For every management skill there are a series of techniques

For example:

Convincing

Active listening

Identifying the obstacles to overcome; needs to emphasize

Able to develop aLogical argument that

Shows how to overcome barriersOr satisfy needs

Other examples of Techniques:

Active listeningReformulationMatchingLinkingCooperation communication

Creating rapport is about “MATCHING”

MATCHING:CREATING RAPPORT

We naturally feel close to people that feel most familiar. You can see this happen at parties around the world; people

unconsciously match themselves with people with whom they have much in common.

This harmony of relationship is often called rapport. It comes about through perceiving familiar information at

several levels, and ensuring a match of familiar signals.

Sometimes, rapport happens naturally

But, if rapport doesn’t happen automatically, then it’s important

to know how to create it!

A technique is to try to find points in common and emphasize them.

In America for example we make small talk and try to find things in common

Complimenting is also seen as an opening to matching

Insert nlp diagram to show matching

We need to be able to match with our colleagues in order to keep things running smoothly

We can create rapport at two levels:

1: At the level of content: What is said Do you explain vs making cold requests; Create a few words of small talk to make it personal Find ways to connect

2: At the level of context: The way it is said Do you use friendly language or formal language appropriately? Is the language stated in a shared/we/us fashion

by John Hanley

MATCHING

MINIMIZING CONFLICTSAY WHAT YOU CAN DO AND NOT WHAT YOU CAN’T

MAKE SUGGESTIONS INSTEAD OF HARSH CRITIQUES

USE COOPERATIVE APPROACH- BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT PUT YOURSELF IN THE OTHER’S SHOES

Develop your own style

Identify your style and work to maximize it

Direct Indirect

Open ClosedFormal InformalPersonal Impersonal

Theme classes

Presentations Be dynamic, convincing and memorable: treat it

like an ad

Negotiations Create rapport and develop cooperative strategies

Meetings Stay in control: avoid conflicts and get results

Presentations

TargetIdentify the key messageStructurePackageRepeat

LIKE AN ADLIKE AN AD

TREAT YOUR PRESENTATIONTREAT YOUR PRESENTATION

Target & Position your IdeasTarget & Position your Ideas

Determine what your key message is

who

why

what

A classical presentationA classical presentationintro

Idea 1

Idea 2

conclusion

A presentationA presentation

what

body development

conclusion

Make it relevant and memorableMake it relevant and memorable

Take your ideas and illustrate them……Use techniques to create strong word images

A picture says 1000 words

Outline of other theme classes

NegotiationsMeetings

NegotiationsCreate rapportIdentify parameters vis a vis questioning techniquesThink out of the box/ lateral thinkingUse active listeningIdentify opportunities to create win-win opportunities

Meetings

Identify the hidden agendaStay on target to reach objectivesEncourage clear exchangeEmpower team members Minimize conflicts