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PARK UNIVERSITY CA567
A Project Submitted in Partial Fulfillment for the Degree of Master of Arts, Communication and
Leadership
Learning Emotional Intelligence
Training & Assessment
Allison Shults
5/3/2015
[ABSTRACT] This core assessment provides an overview and training of the use of Emotional Intelligence (EI) in the workplace. It includes a needs analysis for a local Chamber of Commerce, and outlines the importance of improving their organizational communication with the improvement of their EI. Behavioral objectives related to the skills needed are included as well. Also included is a Participant’s Guide with activities and handouts, and final assessments to determine if the material was learned. Also provided is the PowerPoint to be used and the speaking notes.
A. SHULTS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 1
Table of Contents
Emotional Intelligence Introduction and Task Analysis…………2
Annotated Bibliography……………………………………….3-4
Needs Analysis and Results…………………………………...5-6
Behavioral Objectives…………………………………………7
Agenda…………………………………………………………8-9
Participant’s Guide…………………………………………….10-26
End of Unit Assessments………………………………………20-26
References……………………………………………………..27
PowerPoint and Notes…………………………………………28-51
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Introduction to Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize and regulate one’s and other’s emotions. The nature of
an effective interpersonal or leadership based relationship involves actively communicating with at least
one other individual, and emotion inevitably arises within conversation. Failing to recognize or manage
one’s emotions can cause a lack of understanding, conflict, or unhappiness with self and others.
Improving your Emotional Intelligence skills can vastly improve both your career relationships and your
interpersonal relationships
Task Analysis: How to Improve Emotional Intelligence Skills
1. Identify your motivation
a. Learn what Emotional Intelligence is
b. Identify why it is important for the workplace
2. Increase self-awareness of your emotions
a. Recognize what emotion you feel as it comes up
i. Identify emoting words to be able to verbally describe your emotions
ii. Identify how you physically express an emotion
3. Learn to self-regulate emotions
a. Recognize your current emotion
i. Determine if it is positive or negative
b. Employ regulation strategies
4. Increase ability to empathize
a. Define empathy
i. Recognize and change ‘At least…’ statements
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Annotated Bibliography
Grandey, A. A. (2000). Emotion regulation in the workplace: A new way to conceptualize
emotional labor. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology 5(1). 95-110. Retrieved
from: http://php.scripts.psu.edu/users/a/a/aag6/GrandeyJOHP.pdf
This article discusses emotion in the workplace and the concept of emotional labor. It
provides an overview of different perspectives of emotional labor, and to describe
methods of emotional regulation, from antecedent- and response-focused regulation, as
well as the consequences to regulating emotion. It will be a great resource for the
behavioral objective of emotional regulation.
Hein, S. (n.d). A few basic feeling words. EQI. Retrieved from: http://eqi.org/eitoc.htm
This website provides information on Emotional Intelligence. Used in this guide is the list
of emotional vocabulary words, from positive to negative.
Matsumoto, D., Hwang, S. H., Skinner, L., Frank, M. (2011). Evaluating Truthfulness and
Detecting Deception. FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin. Retrieved from:
http://leb.fbi.gov/2011/june/evaluating-truthfulness-and-detecting-deception
This web article discusses how to detect deception from an investigation standpoint. It
notes behavioral and nonverbal cues, microexpressions, and analyzing statements. Of use
in my assessment is the picture of universal emotions.
The Quick Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment. (n.d.). San Diego City College. Retreived
from: http://www.sdcity.edu/portals/0/cms_editors/mesa/pdfs/emotionalintelligence.pdf
This assessment will be used to determine the trainees level of perceived Emotional
Intelligence before and after the training.
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The RSA (Producer). (2013). Brené Brown on Empathy [Video]. Available from:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D1
Evwgu369Jw&app=desktop
This video defines the concept of empathy, and will be shown to describe what empathy
means for the trainees.
Sigmar, L. S., Hynes, G. E., & Hill, K. L. (2012). Strategies for Teaching Social and Emotional
Intelligence in Business Communication. Business Communication Quarterly, 75(3),
301-317. doi:10.1177/1080569912450312
This article will provide support for implementing Emotional Intelligence training plans.
It discusses the theory behind EI, including how it is implemented in the workplace and
the scientific support of it. It also provides examples of activities used in the development
of EI in students. Of note is the section on the importance of EI.
Wood, J. T. (2013). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. (7th
ed.). Belmont:
Wadsworth.
This textbook provides an in-depth look of interpersonal communication, and covers
information of the general and specific nature, from communication in perception to
communication in relationships, and more. Of use in this training is the chapter on
emotion within communication, and the definitions and examples of Emotional
Intelligence.
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Needs Analysis and Results
The organization that I will be proposing my consulting session to is a local Chamber of
Commerce. The Chamber works within the community as a beacon for the local businesses, and
tries to ensure their success through networking, development, education, etc. The organization
focuses on economic development and communicating with local businesses about their interests
within the community, providing information on local legislature that may influence business
practices, and acts as an organization of resources for others. The Chamber has been established
in the community for over a century, positioning the organization in a way that allows employees
to work one on one with many local businesses and potential business transplants. Because of
this, the Chamber must ensure their employees can show the utmost level of customer service
and communication tact with individuals whom have a wide variety of backgrounds.
Unfortunately, this has not always been the case. The level of effective communication
with the team members of the organization has gone down, and this has been sensed by the
community as well. The organization consists of employees of multiple generations, and
constructive communication is not often used. The relationships of the employees need to be
improved internally, and they need to learn to professionally communicate with and understand
each other, so that tension is not leaked outward to be sensed by those in the community (P.
Shults, personal communication, April 2, 2015). Increasing Emotional Intelligence for these
employees can lead to enhanced communication and workplace relationships, and research has
even suggested Emotionally Intelligent individuals often show higher problem-solving,
performance, and leadership abilities (Sigmar, Hynes, & Hill, p. 305).
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Please circle to what extent you agree with each of the following statements:
1. I can express my emotions freely at my place of work.
Strongly Disagree Disagree Undecided Agree Strongly Agree
2. My coworkers take notice when I am upset.
Strongly Disagree Disagree Undecided Agree Strongly Agree
3. If I am having difficulty with a coworker, I feel comfortable talking to my supervisor
about it.
Strongly Disagree Disagree Undecided Agree Strongly Agree
4. I like to talk to others about my emotions.
Strongly Disagree Disagree Undecided Agree Strongly Agree
Please circle the degree to which each statement occurs daily:
5. My coworkers ask how I am doing in the morning, and take time to listen to my answer.
Never Rarely Not Sure Often Always
6. I ask my coworkers how they are feeling and genuinely listen.
Never Rarely Not Sure Often Always
7. I can recognize what emotion I am feeling when it arises.
Never Rarely Not Sure Often Always
Please answer to the best of your ability:
8. Are there rules regarding expressing emotion in your company?
9. What is your standard practice when a coworker or business prospect makes you angry?
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Behavioral Objectives
At the end of the unit, the trainee will be able to:
1. Demonstrate increased vocabulary of emotion words based on a pre- and post-test.
2. Recognize the strategies for emotional self-regulation in work environments: Situation
Selection, Situation Modification, Attention Deployment, Cognitive Change, Surface
Acting.
3. Demonstrate understanding of empathy as discussed in the Brené Brown on Empathy
video.
4. Demonstrate an increase in Overall Perceived Emotional Intelligence as measured by the
Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment taken at the beginning and end of the training.
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Agenda
Lecture (10 minutes)
I. Introduce myself and why I am doing this training
II. Establish a definition of Emotional Intelligence [Slide 1]
III. Establish why Emotional Intelligence is important to the individuals and the
organization [Slide 2]
Activity (15 minutes)
I. Each individual determines their current level of perceived Emotional Intelligence
A. Each individual takes the Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment [p. 18 in
Participant’s Guide]
Activity (3 minutes)
I. Take the Emoting Words Pre-Test to determine the established emotional vocabulary
[p. 4 in Participant’s Guide]
Lecture/Discussion (15 minutes)
I. Establish the importance of an emotional vocabulary
A. Discuss potential positive words that may be used in the work environment
[Slide 5 or p. 6 in Participant’s Guide]
a. Propose questions for group discussion on the consequences of the
language
B. Discuss potential negative words that may be used in the work environment
[Slide 6 or p. 6 in Participant’s Guide]
a. Propose questions for group discussion on the consequences of the
language
Activity/Discussion (10 minutes)
I. Take the Emotional Expressions quiz [Slide 8 or p. 7 in Participant’s Guide]
A. Discuss how the ability to recognize and express emotions impacts work
environment
-- 5 Minute Break --
Lecture/Discussion (15 minutes)
I. Discuss the Communication Continuum and how each level relates to Emotional
Intelligence [Slide 11 or p. 9 of Participant’s Guide]
A. Present examples for each level and discuss as a group [Slides 12-14 or p. 10
in Participant’s Guide]
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Lecture/Discussion (15 minutes)
I. Establish strategies for emotional regulation
A. Provide definitions for Antecedent-Focused and Response-Focused strategies
[Slide 16 or p. 11 in Participant’s Guide]
II. Provide examples and discuss what emotional regulation strategy is used, benefits or
consequences [Slide 17-19 or p. 12 in Participant’s Guide]
-- 10 Minute Break –
Video (3 minutes)
I. Watch Brené Brown’s talk on empathy [linked to Slide 21 or p. 13 in Participant’s
Guide]
Discussion (5 minutes)
I. Discuss how empathy or a lack of empathy can impact daily work environment
II. Discuss in groups of 3 times when you could have been more empathetic at work
Knowledge Checks/Discussion (20 minutes)
I. Take Emotional Regulation quiz [p. 14 in Participant’s Guide]
A. Discuss results with a partner. As a group, discuss whether you think you will
use these strategies [Answers provided on p. 15 in Participant’s Guide]
II. Take Empathy Quiz [p. 16 in Participant’s Guide]
A. Discuss examples with a partner. Do you feel empathy is important to your
job?
III. Take Emoting Words Post-Test
A. Discuss as a group whether you had improvements and find these words
helpful
IV. Take Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment again to see if there is improvement
-- Open Floor For Questions or Concerns --
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Participant’s Guide
Table of Contents:
Emoting Words Pre-Test…………………………………………….12
Emoting Words Examples…………………………………………...13
Identifying Emotional Expressions Activity………………………...14
Activity Answers & Discussion…………………………...…15
Communication Continuum Diagram………………………………..16
Scenarios & Discussion……………………………………...17
Regulating Emotions…………………………………………………18
Emotional Regulation Discussion…………………………....19
Brené Brown: Explaining Empathy………………………………….20
End of Training Assessments
Emotional Regulation Knowledge Check………………………….21
Answers…………………………………………………….22
Empathy Quiz………………………………………………………23
Emoting Words Post-Test…………………………………………..24
EI Self-Assessment…………………………………………………25-27
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Emoting Words Pre-Test
In the following box, list as many “Positive” emotions as you can:
Now, in the following box, list as many “Negative” emotions as you can:
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Emotive Words You May Use
in the Workplace (Hein, S., n.d.)
Positive
Accepted Acknowledged
Appreciated Respected
Happy Aware
Satisfied Encouraged
Focused Motivated Validated
Supported
Negative
Uncomfortable Unappreciated
Angry Discouraged
Disrespected Tense Bored Lost
Nervous Incompetent
Trapped Invalidated
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Can You Name the 7 Universal Facial Expressions
of Emotion?
(Matsumoto, D., Hwang, S. H., Skinner, L., Frank, M., 2011).
In this activity, write the number corresponding to the picture next to the emotion on the right
that best describes it. When everyone is finished, we’ll reveal the results.
* Fear ___ * Anger ___ * Surprise ___ * Disgust ___ * Contempt ___ * Sadness ___ * Happiness ___
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
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Turn to the person on your left and discuss:
How did you do?
Which emotions were difficult to match?
Which emotions were easy?
How does each emotion impact your work environment?
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The Communication Continuum (Wood, J. T., 2011, p. 18-19).
I-It Communication: Impersonal interactions with others, in which we do not acknowledge an
individual as a human, rather as a means to achieve something.
I-You Communication: Interactions with others in which we acknowledge them as more than a
means to an end, but still do not fully recognize that they are individual, unique people. Rather,
the interactions are still based largely on the roles the individual plays in our life.
I-Thou Communication: Truly interpersonal interactions in which we recognize the individual
as a unique human being that we can express our true feelings with, and express and accept
ourselves and others as we are.
Thou
You
It
Interpersonal
Impersonal
I –
I –
I –
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We will read the following scenarios and discuss one by one in which area of the spectrum
they fall, and whether they have employed Emotional Intelligence:
1. Rebecca runs into her co-worker at the coffee shop on their way to work Monday
morning.
“Hi Jessica, how are you this morning?” she asks. Jessica responds by mentioning how
tired she is on Monday’s, to which Rebecca commiserates about how much she wishes
the weekend were a day longer. Jessica gets her coffee, and tells Rebecca to have a great
day if she doesn’t see her again. What kind of communication has Rebecca and Jessica
entered, and what kind of emotional intelligence strategies were used?
2. John works for a large corporation, whose Human Resources department is located with
headquarters in another state. When John calls HR with a question about his benefits, the
representative sounds rushed and annoyed, and asks for his Employee ID Number before
his name, which makes John feel as though he is just a number in this company. He is not
feeling valued as an employee or a person. What kind of communication has John
entered, and how could increased emotional intelligence by HR change this
communication?
3. Sam has just had a death in the family, and needs to speak to his boss about taking
bereavement time off. He tries to remain professional in his conversation, but starts to get
emotional as he meets with his boss. He explains that he doesn’t think he will be able to
perform as well as he should because of his emotional state. Sam feels vulnerable and
nervous to be so open in front of a superior, but his boss reacts with friendly
understanding, and affirms that of course he can take some time, letting him know that
she understands how hard it can be. What kind of communication has Sam entered and
what emotional intelligence skills were used?
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Regulating Emotions
(Grandey, A. A., 2000, p. 98-99)
Antecedent-Focused Emotional Regulation
Situation Selection
Choosing the situations
we place ourselves in
Situation Modification
Choosing to change a
situation we are
currently in, by leaving
or stepping away if
necessary
Attention Deployment
Thinking about other
times we felt the
emotion we wish to
currently feel, in order to
express it in our current
situation
Cognitive Change
Changing the way we
perceive a situation in
order to change the way
we feel about it
Response-Focused Emotional Regulation
Surface Acting
Changing our emotional
expression, rather than
our actual internal
feelings
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Emotional Regulation Discussion
Example 1:
Sarah works at a retail store and sees a customer enter who had previously spoken
discriminatorily to her. She becomes angry when she sees this customer. Rather than yell at the
customer, Sarah goes into the break room. What type of Emotional Regulation did Sarah use?
What consequences does this type of regulation come with? Could there have been a better way
to handle this interaction?
Example 2:
Jack has been having a very bad day and is near the end of his shift. He is tired and hungry but
he must attend his last meeting of the day. When he meets with his client, he is smiling and
cheerful, despite his mood. What type of Emotional Regulation did Jack employ? What
consequences does this type of regulation come with? Could there have been a better way to
handle this interaction?
Example 3:
Omar is on his way to meet with a group of clients when his boss stops him. “I wanted to warn
you that this group has just had a major public scandal released, and you may need to approach
them lightly,” she says. When Omar meets with the group, he notices that the group is acting
very defensive with all of his questions. Rather than become offended, Omar looks at the group
keeping in mind what his boss has told him, and acts more empathetic towards them. What type
of Emotional Regulation did Omar employ? What consequences does this type of regulation
come with? Could there have been a better way to handle this interaction?
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View the video of Brené Brown’s explanation of empathy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D1Evwgu
369Jw&app=desktop
Discuss as a group:
How might a lack of empathy impact your daily work interactions?
Think of a time when you might have offered an ‘At least…’ response. How might you respond
more empathetically?
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End of Unit Assessments
Emotional Regulation Knowledge Quiz
1. Respondent-Focused emotional regulation occurs before the emotional response.
a. True
b. False
2. Jane chooses not to pursue a career as a Veterinarian because she believes that seeing
hurt animals will be too hard on her emotional state. Jane is employing _______.
a. Attention Deployment
b. Situation Modification
c. Situation Selection
d. Cognitive Change
e. Surface Acting
3. Grady is being yelled at by a customer. Rather than yelling back, he excuses himself from
the conversation and takes a moment to calm down away from the customer. Grady has
used the _______ emotional regulation strategy.
a. Surface Acting
b. Attention Deployment
c. Cognitive Change
d. Situation Modification
e. Situation Selection
4. Mary likes to whistle while she works because music has always made her happy. Mary
is using the Cognitive Change strategy.
a. True
b. False
5. Putting on a “mask” to appear friendly to customers is considered _______.
a. Situation Selection
b. Cognitive Change
c. Surface Acting
d. Attention Deployment
e. Situation Modification
6. Steve gets nervous when he speaks publicly, so his boss has told him to try thinking of a
speech as a challenge he will overcome rather than an anxiety inducing event. Steve’s
boss wants him to use ______.
a. Cognitive Change
b. Attention Deployment
c. Situation Selection
d. Situation Modification
e. Surface Acting
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Emotional Regulation Knowledge Quiz Answers
1. False
2. A – Situation Selection
3. D – Situation Modification
4. False
5. C – Surface Acting
6. A – Cognitive Change
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Empathy Is….
Provide examples of the 4 qualities of empathy:
1. Perspective Taking –
2. Staying out of Judgement –
3. Recognizing other’s emotion and communicating it –
4. Connecting to something in yourself that knows the feeling of the other -
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Emoting Words Post-Test
In the following box, list as many “Positive” emotions as you can:
Now, in the following box, list as many “Negative” emotions as you can:
For discussion, compare to your Pre-Test:
How many words were the same?
How many words did you learn?
Will you be able to use these words with co-workers and superiors?
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The Quick Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment*
* Adapted for this training from the works of the San Diego City College MESA Program, which was adapted from
a model by Paul Mohapel (paul.mohapel@shaw.ca)
We’ll be taking this assessment twice! For the first round, write totals in the first blank. For the final round, write
totals in the second blank.
Emotional Awareness – Total: __________ ____________
0 1 2 3 4
My feelings are clear to me at any given moment
0 1 2 3 4
Emotions play an important part in my life
0 1 2 3 4
My moods impact the people around me
0 1 2 3 4
I find it easy to put words to my feelings
0 1 2 3 4
My moods are easily affected by external events
0 1 2 3 4
I can easily sense when I’m going to be angry
0 1 2 3 4
I readily tell others my true feelings
0 1 2 3 4
I find it easy to describe my feelings
0 1 2 3 4
Even when I’m upset, I’m aware of what’s happening to me
0 1 2 3 4
I’m able to stand apart from my thoughts and feelings and examine them
Emotional Management – Total: _________ __________
0 1 2 3 4
I accept responsibility for my reactions
0 1 2 3 4
I find it easy to make goals and stick with them
0 1 2 3 4
I am an emotionally balanced person
Rank each statement as follows: 0 (Never) 1 (Rarely) 2 (Sometimes) 3 (Often) 4 (Always)
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0 1 2 3 4 I am a very patient person
0 1 2 3 4
I can accept critical comments from others without becoming angry
0 1 2 3 4
I maintain my composure, even during stressful times
0 1 2 3 4
If an issue does not affect me directly, I don’t let it bother me
0 1 2 3 4
I can restrain myself when I feel anger towards someone
0 1 2 3 4
I control urges to overindulge in things that could damage my well being
0 1 2 3 4
I direct my energy into creative work or hobbies
Social Emotional Awareness – Total: __________ ___________
0 1 2 3 4
I consider the impact of my decisions on other people
0 1 2 3 4
I can easily tell if the people around me are becoming annoyed
0 1 2 3 4
I sense it when a person’s mood changes
0 1 2 3 4
I am able to be supportive when giving bad news to others
0 1 2 3 4
I am generally able to understand the way other people feel
0 1 2 3 4
My friends can tell me intimate things about themselves
0 1 2 3 4
It genuinely bothers me to see other people suffer
0 1 2 3 4
I usually know when to speak and when to be silent
0 1 2 3 4
I care what happens to other people
0 1 2 3 4
I understand when people’s plans change
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Your EQ Strengths: Check your EQ total scores to assess your strengths and areas for
improvement.
Domain Score
Emotional Awareness
0 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 34 36 38 40
Emotional Management
0 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 34 36 38 40
Social Emotional Awareness
0 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 34 36 38 40
0-24 Area for Enrichment: Requires attention and development
25-34 Effective Functioning: Consider Strengthening
35-40 Enhanced Skills: Use as leverage to develop weaker areas
(Quick Emotional, n.d.)
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References
Grandey, A. A. (2000). Emotion regulation in the workplace: A new way to conceptualize
emotional labor. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology 5(1). 95-110. Retrieved
from: http://php.scripts.psu.edu/users/a/a/aag6/GrandeyJOHP.pdf
Hein, S. (n.d). A few basic feeling words. EQI. Retrieved from: http://eqi.org/eitoc.htm
Matsumoto, D., Hwang, S. H., Skinner, L., Frank, M. (2011). Evaluating Truthfulness and
Detecting Deception. FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin. Retrieved from:
http://leb.fbi.gov/2011/june/evaluating-truthfulness-and-detecting-deception
The Quick Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment. (n.d.). San Diego City College. Retreived
from: http://www.sdcity.edu/portals/0/cms_editors/mesa/pdfs/emotionalintelligence.pdf
The RSA (Producer). (2013). Brené Brown on Empathy [Video]. Available from:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D1
Evwgu369Jw&app=desktop
Sigmar, L. S., Hynes, G. E., & Hill, K. L. (2012). Strategies for Teaching Social and Emotional
Intelligence in Business Communication. Business Communication Quarterly, 75(3),
301-317. doi:10.1177/1080569912450312
Wood, J. T. (2013). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. (7th
ed.). Belmont:
Wadsworth.
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Accompanying PowerPoint
Emotional intelligence is essentially the ability to recognize and control our emotions and those
of others, to understand why someone is feeling what they are, to express emotion in a way
productive to the conversation, to use the knowledge of our and others emotions as a motivation
tool and a guide to build relationships. It allows us not only to recognize our emotions and
expressions, but to see how those affect others. With high emotional intelligence, we are able to
know our own feelings, know how to regulate them when dealing with others, and to improve
relationships with others by recognizing their emotions (Wood, 2013).
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The nature of an effective interpersonal or leadership based relationship involves actively
communicating with at least one other individual, and emotion inevitably arises within
conversation. Failing to recognize or manage one’s emotions can cause a lack of understanding,
conflict, or unhappiness with self and others. Increases in emotional intelligence will benefit
your interpersonal and work-related communication and relationships.
In this day and age, diversity and technology increases in the workplace have impacted work
environments, and consequently the ability to work as a team and communicate effectively.
Increasing emotional intelligence will allow us to communicate better with each other in this
environment, as well as with potential clients, business men and women, supervisors, etc.
Research has even shown that emotionally intelligent individuals are likely to positively impact
management and strategic process (Sigmar, L. Hynes, & Hill, 2008).
Research has shown that suppressing emotions or expressing non-genuine emotions while at
work can result in high levels of job stress and often, burnout (Grandey, 2000).
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I have no doubt that many of you already display levels of emotional intelligence. Let’s start by
taking this quick assessment that we’ll take again after the training. P. 27 in Participant’s Guide.
A. SHULTS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 31
Take the Emoting words pre-test. P. 14 in Participant’s Guide.
An emotional vocabulary is a building block to emotional intelligence. Research has shown that
increased emotional vocabulary can alleviate the effects of negative emotions, which is
extremely important in the regulation of emotion (Sigmar, Hynes, Hill, 2012).
Establishing an emotional vocabulary also allows you to improve your communication regarding
emotion, which in turn will allow you to express your own emotions better, as well as better
recognize the emotions of others.
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P. 15 in Participant’s Guide.
Ask: Do you hear these words from your supervisor? From your co-workers? Clients? How
could use of these words impact the culture of the office? (Hein, n.d.).
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Also found on p. 15 in Participant’s Guide.
Ask: Do you hear these words often from supervisors? Coworkers? Clients? How could use of
these words impact the culture of the office? (Hein, n.d.)
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Turn to p. 16 for activity.
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P.16 in Participant’s Guide. Write the picture # next to the correct emotion. (Matsumoto, Hwang,
Skinner, & Frank, 2011).
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P. 17 in Participant’s Guide
So what’s the point? Being able to recognize basic emotions will allow you to learn how to react
to them, how to regulate, how to empathize with others, and to direct actions and conversation in
the necessary way. Use the discussion questions to ask yourselves: when I see someone begin to
exhibit these very basic emotions, how does that impact my environment and conversation?
What can I do to change it?
(Matsumoto, Hwang, Skinner, & Frank, 2011).
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Bathroom/snack break time. 5 min. When we come back we’ll start talking about communication
situations and how to regulate the emotions that come up.
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P. 18 in Participant’s Guide.
Bottom level: individuals are treated as a means to an end, rather than a human – a server or
customer service employee.
Middle: they are more than a means to an end, but still we base our interactions with them
largely on their social roles within our lives – likely coworkers, supervisors, clients. We are
interacting with them because of who they are to us, rather than just who they are.
Top – truly interpersonal, the individual is unique and we care about their feelings, and feel close
enough to express our own (Wood, 2013).
These levels dictate the type of communication we have, and consequently the amount of
emotional expression we may or may not require. What are the benefits to each level?
At the bottom level, while we may not foster an emotionally competent relationship, we don’t
necessarily need to. We are not likely going to work with this person often. Middle level, is
likely the most common for you. You will typically have this type of communication with your
peers, clients, supervisors. Being able to competently use emotional intelligence in these
relationships will allow you to have productive, efficient conversation, without too much
emotion diminishing it. At the top level, you are likely communicating with close friends, family,
etc. While this relationship is good, there is typically too much emotion involved to be a
professional, work-relationship.
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P. 19 in Participant’s Guide. I-You communication. They treat each other with kindness, but do
not delve into deep emotion or conversation. Rebecca empathizes with Jessica about being tired.
Jessica recognizes her own emotion – tired.
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P. 19 in Participant’s Guide. I-It Communication. More empathy from HR would allow the rep to
recognize that John wants to feel valued as a person. The HR rep could regulate his/her emotion
to sound more approachable and receptive to John’s questions.
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P. 19 in Participant’s Guide. I-Thou Communication. Sam is using emotional awareness to
inform his boss of his emotional state, and recognizes how it will impact his performance. His
boss is employing empathy.
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We all get angry, we all get upset, we all want to strangle each other sometimes, but we don’t –
do we? In those instances, you’re regulating your emotions without even knowing it. But, here
are a few strategies for when it gets tough…
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P. 20 in Participant’s Guide.
Antecedent-focused emotional regulation comes when we are able to modify the situation we are
in, or our perception of the situation, before we have an emotional response. This type of
regulation allows us to internally change our emotions towards a situation or person.
Situation Selection: We choose the situations we place ourselves in- cannot often be used – we
don’t always have a choice to our situation.
That is where Situation Modification comes in: We choose to change the situation we are in, by
leaving or stepping away – Helpful when we are getting upset or overly emotional and can take a
moment to calm down and think of the repercussions
Attention Deployment: Thinking about times we felt the emotion that we wish to feel, to express
it in our current situation. Thinking of a happy moment when we are sad, thinking about being
calm when we are angry. If our work environment is stressing us out, and we love singing, we
may sing as we work to make ourselves feel better.
Cognitive Change: Changing the way we perceive a situation in order to change the way we feel
– our co-worker is acting rude to everyone, so rather than striking out we decide to imagine that
they have simply had a bad day and don’t know how to express themselves. We don’t take it
personally.
Response Focused: When we want to respond with a certain emotional reaction, but instead
modify that response to a more acceptable one. However, this is not modifying the way we
actually feel, but the expression or response that we have. Also known as Surface Acting. We
might continue to smile even though we are angry with a customer, because we cannot risk
losing them. However, internalizing emotion like this too often can result in burnout and stress.
Sometimes others can pick up on the non-genuine emotions (Grandey, A. A., 2000).
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P. 21 in Participant’s Guide. Sarah uses Situation Modification. While she did not get upset at
the customer, she may have left the company unattended, which is not good. We have to make
sure we can afford to leave a situation.
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P. 21 in Participant’s Guide. Jack used Surface Acting. This can cause his conversation to appear
ingenuine and too much surface acting can lead to burnout and stress. While this is not a bad way
to regulate, he could have also used cognitive change or attention deployment. With cognitive
change he could have perceived this situation as his last one for the day, so he should be looking
forward to getting home. He also could have thought about how happy he will be at home, and
employ that happiness during the meeting.
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P. 21 in Participant’s Guide. He used Cognitive Change. It internalizes the change of emotion
(not a bad thing), rather than just changing the outward expression. He handled the situation
well.
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10 min. break. When we come back, we’ll check out a video explaining empathy.
Be available for questions.
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Empathy is an important part of emotional intelligence. It allows us to recognize and understand
what someone else is feeling, and even feel it with them. Brene Brown’s video explains it very
well. Let’s watch, and then we will discuss.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D1Evwgu
369Jw&app=desktop
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You might not understand how someone else is feeling and act harshly towards them, dismiss
them, not fully listen to them.
Example of ‘At least…” : There was one instance where I was speaking with a coworker about a
list of leads that she needed to contact that day. She was explaining how long the list was and
how stressed it was making her. I told her, “At least the boss trusts that you can get it done,
otherwise why would he give it all to you?” I thought that I was being kind, a comrade, when
really this didn’t make her feel any bit better. I could have said, “I see where you’re coming from
with that. I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me.” While I may not have a solution, I am with
her and there for her.
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We’ll start with the:
Emotional Regulation Knowledge Check – P. 23 in Participant’s Guide
Then Empathy Quiz – P. 25 in Participant’s Guide
Then Emoting Words – P. 26 in Participant’s Guide
Then EI Again – P. 27 in Participant’s Guide
Open for questions.
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Reference Slide