CAKE The icing on the cake A weekend break A slap in the face That stings for hours The kind I like To take out at night Backed in the corner I know how to begin A bittersweet cocktail A kind note in the mail Makes me think of you But then I remember Dream the keen dreams Until you wake Sweating Regretting And for a second forgetting Until I see your beam Unmistakable Self assured Like I should fall for that Again You'd bet on it But this time I'm smarter than I look You're clever But not that good I've lost my appetite The precious sweet tooth I don't like icing anymore. (9/1/00)

AND SO IT GOES The false Spanish saviour Is everything I make her Can exist only in mind When Northern accents Leave me tongue tied And painful sighs Knock me sideways I learn to laugh At these reoccurring lessons I'll make no mistake And take in the scenery. (23/8/99)

PIPES Trapped in the void Twisting and turning Watching snaking pipes Dance energetically Contrasting my static Self Mind and body Waiting for the call Waiting for the next Two minute challenge Counting down the seconds As I sink into Eternal boredom Wishing for a chaotic Screen saver Entertainment For the interminable Order. (12/11/99)

THE SHREDDING CHALLENGE Shredding is fun Acting like a lunatic As if I'm not really here Tics and spins Maniacal grins My dancing mouse Thrills me. High off Tip-X For what it's worth Feeling weird Burning up Too much tea Too big a cup. (25/11/99)

ON A PLATE You might want to tell me Where the dark dreams lurk And evil settles in The sultry air. You might want to show me Where they dug in the dirt And found no trace Of their loved ones there. You might want to hear What they have to say But I guess you'll have to save it For a rainy day. Somebody told me They'd run away But I know I saw them yesterday. They couldn't speak And their hands were tied They just stared at me And some did cry. The stench of blood overwhelmed They wanted for me to speak to them But I couldn't say a thing A pathetic silence Sucking at the air Embarrassment versus depths of despair Until it was no longer in my hands Some kicked in the legs Some moved on By those with the power Those in charge On a par with me At my level And in turning my back Trying to look for Apples in the trees Birds in the sky A hint of rain Anything not to acknowledge my crime My collusion and excuse of confusion And soon it was quiet again And I promised that in a while I could carry on Carry on And carry on. You might want to tell me Where the devil hides today Where evil gathers in the shadows But I'll pretend not to hear 'Cos if you close your eyes and count to ten You can make it disappear. (22/2/00)

BALANCING ACT Your soothing silence melts me Deceiving those with your Happy tones Laughing at love songs Secretly aching Your stubborn refusal chills me I'll keep it all together Just this once I know I've said it before But now I have to again. Live a little won't you Smile for me can't you He's swimming in his Self appointed misery She's dwelling in her Glamorised poverty They're playing with their Forced ambition. I'll keep it all together Just this once I know I've said it before But now I have to again. (27/2/00)

IMAGINARY CRIME SPREE What made you change your mind? What did you act upon? You decided to go out to tonight Took a gun, stole a car The night you turned to crime. How did you find it? How did you cope? When the lights went out? Some day I promise I'll divulge Some day we'll laugh again We can even invite old friends To help us soothe the pain. What made you change your mind? Hope it wasn't something I said No one will ever predict Where you go, who you're with If they'll end up dead. And now you cry 'cos you're alone But you didn't even try Don't turn your back on me you begged It's your turn then, this time. He'll pin the blame If you give a hint He can pin the blame with a clue. How did you find it How did you cope When the lights went out? Some day I promise I'll divulge Some day we'll laugh again We can even invite old friends To help us soothe the pain. Lay down the King, I do believe This charade is a boring game I threaten with the safety curtain My position remains the same. (29/2/00)

MAGAZINES She crossed her legs And I drew a breath I nearly fell apart. I read magazines I watch bad TV I save the letters you wrote I can hear your voice late at night It keeps me from my own I listen to how others speak I keep a diary in the week I know how much is in my pocket I keep a feather in my locket. She tapped me on the shoulder I melted into my chair And I couldn't help but smile. I read magazines I know the real world I know what's out there for me I know boys and girls Some I've met before Some call me a bore Some creep back in my sleep. She laughed out loud At someone else's joke I quietly laughed as well. She crossed her legs And I went red I knew my place that day. (29/2/00)

SOBER SARAH Night of the Sober Sarah Sitting in her sober corner Eating treacle biscuits Sipping on a sparkling soda. What will become of Sarah? If she remains so sober? Will she regain her faculties? Or will she just grow older? (29/2/00)

ALTERNATIVE WINDY CITY Funny how Now I long to be Twenty minutes From everywhere Funny how It appears Far too far Out of reach A scratchy memory Never crisp enough To grasp. My desire On the verge Of despair So on with the Rose tinted specs Out with all Solid plans Allow time For glorious walking In the Weathered past Walks, parks, rains Breathless laughter A tiny part of when We didn't seem to care? Living for the moment? Twenty minutes From everywhere. (18/3/00)

SAND DREAMS She always faces the sea Won't turn around To look at me Quietly whispering Her enchanting stories Of other worlds Her secret glory Tiptoes amongst Shells and rocks Doesn't make a sound Never stops In time with the waves Soaking up the spray A wry smile on her face Into the dunes Amongst stray grass, untouched Sits, always out to sea Why won't you look at me? She'll never look at me And where the water Merges with the sky And this land seems too bright Her lashes flicker with delight I'll join her there We'll stare tonight. (30/4/00)

COMFORTABLE With the tables turned Silence irks beyond belief And any amusement Only frustration. All this multiplied by that Loathsome generation One should strive to leave behind They who neither Reject or respect They who fuel Misinterpretations Feed the gulfs Turn backs on bridge building Lingering only in Laziness rather than a strive Towards anything deeper Willingness vanished Refusals of comprehension Seal the excuse of "I don't understand." (21/3/00)

FUNDAY Walking down the street Feeling like a freak Everyone else looks good on a Sunday The sun is shining A pretty one is smiling Just your average Funday But something's not right I can feel it inside Everyone's looking at me I know I gotta hide Catch myself in the reflection of a shop window Bags under my eyes Face is pale Hair messed up No, I don't look well The further I walk The fainter I get Sun's burning me now My forehead is wet Have to sit down Catch my breath This is definitely Sunday Now I understand I look down at my feet Firmly on the ground You're not special You're no one smart You have a shitty job Drive a shitty car You're all alone In this scary world No one knows who you are In one swift move I jumped to my feet Turned on my heels Ran down the street Felt a sudden sense of clarity Kept on running Felt like I was free The faster I went The more I saw This was Sunday all right I could feel it I was sure I saw someone smile I saw someone wave People slapped me on the back As I passed on through Had a spring in my step And a grin on my face I was turning things around In this dull ol' place And when I reached the boundary Of this little town I ploughed through the hedgerows

And I kept going Nothing now would get in my way 'Cos nothing could on this sunny Sunday. (26/3/00)

NO ONE KNOWS HOW MUCH I LIKE VOLCANOES Couldn't cry at 'It's a Wonderful Life' Or smile and dance at the same time This is nothing Nothing Depends on you Sitting here amongst grass cuttings By the river, drinking Sparkling water I hate grass cuttings I have hayfever but I love the river I love water You know all that Already? You know it all? You know it all! She asked what I could do for her Will I be the one to make her purr? Well I had to shrug Feign bemusement She doesn't know me and I'm not showing Myself in my shining armour Touch, but don't look Speak, but won't hear I have nothing to offer While I am facts While I am fiction While I am fascinating contradictions While I am behind these bars For you to study For you to learn This is all for you This masquerade So pay up for your ticket And be on your way. (9/5/00)