colossians 3:18-21

The Biblical Ideal One man, one woman

for life – and then little babies. (Gen 2:23-24; Mtt 19:3-6)

God created the family as the basic unit for maintaining and cultivating human society. (Gen 1:26-30; 2:18-25)

It is the means of teaching God’s love and law. (Dt 6:1-9)

What happened? The Fall!

The husband and wife abandoned their roles. (Gen 3:1-6, 12-13, 16-19)

Children became rebellious and self-serving. (Gen 4:1-16)

Restoring our Roles

The Wife’s Role – v 18 Submission

The Husband’s Role – v 19 Love

The Child’s Role – v 20

The Parent’s Role – v 21

The Importance of the Family It is a divine calling. (Genesis 1:28; cf.

4:1) It is a stewardship of the future. What we

plant today will become the fruit the next generation will eat.

It is a joy & blessing (Ps 127:3-5). It is a test. The family tests our spiritual

growth daily. “Children need discipline, so do parents.”

It is an act of faith.

Restoring our Roles

The Child’s Role – v 20 Obedience

Who is a child? Someone who is still

under his/her parent’s authority because: They have not cleaved

to their spouse. (Gen 2:24)

They have not established their own place of residence or independence. They are still being ‘brought up’. (Eph 6:4)

Obedience is due one’s parents until he/she gets married or leaves the home to establish his/her own.

Respect or honor is always due our parents no matter our age.

Paul in 1 Tim 5:3-4 speaks of the need to care for our parents.

What is Obedience? It means to ‘listen

under’ (the root word akouw means ‘to listen’). Demons (Mk 1:27) and

strong winds (Mtt 8:27) obey Jesus.

We are to obey the gospel (Acts 6:7; 2 Thess 1:8) – i.e. listen and respond to it.

We can either obey the old man or the new man (Rom 6).

It is listening in order to act upon the request.

Why do we Obey? It is God’s will.

The word ‘pleases’ in the NT speaks of conduct that accords with what God wants. (cf. Col 1:10; Jesus pleased the Father, Jhn 8:29; believers please the Father by pursuing His will, Rom 12:2; Eph 5:10)

It brings blessing – Eph 6:1-3 Obedience to what is

right alleviates many of the problems and sorrows sin brings. (cf. Proverbs 2)

A Parent’s Sorrow Proverbs 10:1 A wise child brings joy

to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.

Proverbs 15:20 Sensible children bring joy to their father; foolish children despise their mother.

Proverbs 17:21 It is painful to be the parent of a fool; there is no joy for the father of a rebel.

Restoring our Roles

The Parent’s Role – v 21 What about mom?

The law of the Romans gave virtually full power to the father over his son, whether he thought proper to imprison him, to scourge him, to put him in chains, and keep him at work in the fields, or to put him to death; and this even though the son were engaged in public affairs, though he were numbered among the highest magistrates, and though he were celebrated for his zeal for the commonwealth. This power only ended when the father emancipated his son or he died. (Garland, 246)

Restoring our Roles The Parent’s Role – v 21

Positive: Train and discipline (cf. Eph 6:4) We are to tell and show

them what is right and then lovingly discipline them when they do not.

Proverbs speaks of discipline as a means of teaching the pain sin brings. (Prov 13:24; esp. 22:15)

It is always according to God’s standards.

Restoring our Roles The Parent’s Role – v 21

Negative: Do not provoke (embitter [NIV], aggravate [NLT])

The word has the idea of stirring something up (in this case, the child’s anger).

Stirring leads to lifelessness.

How can we provoke?

Overprotect Favoritism Unrealistic goals No affection Not meeting their

needs No standards or

boundaries (Prov 29:15)

Neglect Excessive discipline

The Balance? Remember the

Gospel We are not striving for

moralists, but forgiven sinners.

God cares about the heart.

Remember Grace Perfection is not the

goal, learning and growth is (cf. Phil 3:13-14).

colossians 3:18-21