Interpersonal Communication 21

8/2/2019 Interpersonal Communication 21

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InterpersonalCommunication

Session III & IV

Neha Jasani


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Recap

Questions


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Persuasion in Interpersonalcommunication

Process of convincing people to thinkor act in a certain way

Intentional and unintentionalpersuasion


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Please describe a situationwhere you had to PERSUADEsomeone to do something. How

did you go about it? Were yousuccessful?

Context Action

Result


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Exercises

Listening exercise

Learning languages

Raising successful children Exotic animal kingdom

http://www.esl-lab.com/learn/learnrd1.ht

Communication in action
http://www.esl-lab.com/learn/learnrd1.htmhttp://www.esl-lab.com/learn/learnrd1.htm


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Please write a OneSentence Definition of

A S S E R T I V E N E S S.


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Definition ofAssertiveness

An honest, direct, and

appropriate expression of

one's feelings, thoughts, and

beliefs.


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Test YourAssertiveness (1 of 3)

u Can you express negative feelings

about other people and their behaviors

without using abusive language?

u Are you able to exercise and express

your strengths?

u Can you easily recognize andcompliment other peoples

achievements?


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Test YourAssertiveness (2 of 3)

u Do you have the confidence to ask forwhat is rightfully yours?

u Can you accept criticism without being

defensive?

u Do you feel comfortable accepting

compliments?

u Are you able to stand up for your rights?


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Test YourAssertiveness (3 of 3)u Are you able to refuse

unreasonable requests from

friends, family, or co-

workers?u Can you comfortably start

and carry on a conversation

with others?

u Do you ask for assistance

when you need it ?A yes response to the

questions indicates an assertive


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Why Assertiveness IsImportant?

u Helps achieve individual and/or shared goals

u Can reach your goals maintaining your

rights and dignity


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AssertiveRights

You have the right to be assertive

You have the right to request that otherschange their behavior if they areinfringing on your rights

You have the right to use your own timeto answer questions

You have the right to express your needseven if they are illogical

Be aware that there areresponsibilities attached to allthese rights!


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Whats Keeping You From BeingAssertive?

Fear of change

Refusal to admit your submissiveness

Fear of ruining relationships

Lack confidence in your ability


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WhatAssertiveness Is

Respect for yourself and others Honestly expressing your thoughts,

feelings, and beliefs

Effectively influencing, listening, andnegotiating with others


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What AssertivenessIs Not

Assertiveness is not aggressiveness orselfishness

Is not humiliating or abusing other people

and their rights

It is not violating the rights of others orgaining at others expense


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Aggressiveness Is

E Inappropriately expressing yourthoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a waythat violates other peoples rights

E Achieving your goal by not allowingothers the freedom to choose

E Disrespecting others


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Are You Aggressive?(1 of 2)

> Do you become abusive, whether it be verbalor physical, when criticizing others?

> Do you purposely make others feel like they

are incompetent or unimportant?> Do you make unreasonable demands of other

people?


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Are You Aggressive?(2 of 2)

> Do you brag or exaggerate yourachievements?

> Do you ignore the rights and feelings of

other people?

> Do you aim to get your way at all costs?

> Do you often dominate conversationswith others?A yes answer to any of thequestions may indicate

aggressive behavior.


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ActingUnassertiveness Is

Acting in an indirect or passive manner

Permitting others to take advantage ofyou

Thinking that you and your needs areinferior to others and their needs


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Are You Unassertive?(1 of 2)

Do you feel guilty standing up for yourfights or expressing your feelings?

Are you unable to recognize and

acknowledge your strengths?

Are you uncomfortable with startingor carrying on a conversation?

Do you rarely stand up for yourself?


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Are You Unassertive?(2 of 2)

Do you have trouble sayingno to people?

Are you unable to ask other

people to performreasonable requests foryou?

Do you feel that you letother people takeadvantage of you?

A yes answer to any of thequestions may indicateunassertive behavior.


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Joanne is at a meeting wherethe topic is the profitability ofthe project shes been

working on for three monthsstraight. She has not said aword in the past hour.

Suddenly she jumps up and

accuses the boss ofdeliberately canceling the

project based on personal

dislike.

What Would YouSay?


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The copier has been brokenfor two days. Sam asked thesecretary to call in for repairs

several times with no effect.He says nothing and ends upcalling it in himself. After all,

he thinks, shes probably too

busy typing up that memo hegave her this morning.

What Would YouSay?


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Bob is in line at the delicounter waiting to be served.

His number is about to be

called next. Suddenly, awoman steps in front of him

and places her order. Bob

loudly complains about thedeli worker and the woman,

exclaims he will never shop

there again, tosses his ticket,

and stalks off.

What Would YouSay?


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Judys boss asks her to goon an important business

trip which will carry over

into the weekend of hersisters wedding. Judy feels

she cant refuse her boss

and plans on sending herspouse to the wedding in

her place.

What Would You

Say?


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What Would YouSay?

George is next in line tobuy tickets in a crowded

movie theatre lobby. Just as

his turn comes up, a mancuts in front of him and

requests tickets. George

meekly steps back to allowthe man room and hopes he

gets waited on next.


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A PassivePerson

Passive peopleusually:

Speak softly and hesitantly

Use fillers like uh and um. Avoid eye contact

Allow other people in their personal

space


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An AggressivePerson

t Raise their voices when they lose

controlt Shout and use language like You

should and You must.t Stare people down and may invade

other peoples personal space

physically

Infringes on others rights, using fear andintimidation to get what he or she wants


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An AssertivePerson

Assertive people

usually:

Asserts his or her own rights in apositive, open, honest, and self-

confident manner

H Speak calmly and confidently

H Uses statements with I think and

I feel.H Maintain eye contact, have good

posture and are in control


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SeveralTips

Be cognizant of your expression

Do not act hastily or in anger

Remain calm, cool, courteous &collected

Avoid making mountains out ofmolehills

Following these simple suggestions will presentyou as someone who is confident & optimistic --as opposed to someone who is hostile and angry


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Six PersonalityTypes

Dreamers.

Whiners.

Mutes.

Hamsters.

Invisible Beings.

Pit-bulls.


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Hamsters

Do good work, getrespect, BUT get

nowhere when it comes

to career advancement.Where do all their efforts

go?They may be assertive

for the organization

they work for, but fallshort when it comes to

standing up for

themselves.


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InvisibleBeings

They do goodwork BUT

nobody knows

it.Their

unassertiveness

lets others takecredit for their

achievements

and that leaves

i


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Pit-bulls

Their overlyaggressive behavior

gets in the way of

their success at workThey may be good

workers, but the

disruption and tensionthey create makes

them disliked and puts

them on the defensive


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Dreamers

Day-dreamingshows a lack of self control

that keeps them from

advancing.This lack of

focus may indicate low self-

esteem.

Whi


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Whiners

They constantly complainabout exactly what they

dont like, yet expect

others to speak up andchange the situation

They do nothing to affect the

change themselves, nomatter how much taking

decisive actions would help

remedy their complaints

M


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Mutes

They have a problem sayingno and, for that matter,much of anything at all

They take everything thatsgiven, whether they like it or

not, and their passivity makesthem over-worked and stressed


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Nine Types Of AssertiveResponse

Disagree in both a passive andactive manner depending on

the situation

Let other people

understand more about

you

Always ask questions

i f i


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Be reasonable

Look into the eyes

Say no to any requests

you are uncomfortable with

i Of i


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Accept compliments graciously

Insist on being treated

fairly

Be friendly and sincere with the people

you would like to know better; givethem a chance to get to know you

Wh t T D Wh C f t


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What To Do When Confronte

With a Problem

Controlling your emotionsis the first step to helping

solve, rather than magnify,

this problem assertively

Get aGrip

Wh t T D Wh


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What To Do WhenConfronted

With a Problem

Examine the situationcarefully and make sureyou have a handle on all

the facts.

Reach forLogic

Wh t T D Wh


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With a ProblemDont Keep a Lid

On ItProcrastination will onlymake it worse. Pent-up

frustrations could lead to

unwanted explosions

Wh t T D Wh


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With a ProblemDont Take It So

HardRemember to keep

perspective when things getsticky, and dont take things

personally.

It will only increase youremotional involvement and

ham er our abilit to

u es or on c


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u es or on cResolution

Keep a sense of

humor Shoot for a win-win resolution.

Four Steps To Saying


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Four Steps To SayingNo (1 of 2)

1. Listen to the request2. Say no immediately

3. Give a reason for your

refusal

4. Offer to find an alternative

No is Not a Dirty


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No is Nota DirtyWord

If something makes you feeluncomfortable or if you feel the

request is unreasonable, then it

is your prerogative to refuse.Remember:X You are not saying no

to the whole person,but only to part of the

relationship whichmakes you feeluncomfortable.

X No does not requirean ex lanation.

Letting Other People


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Letting Other PeopleKnow

How You Feel4 While remaining cool and collected,

try to explain your point of view.

4 Use terms like I feel and I think

rather than It should be or It

must.

Dont Get


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Dont GetMad...

' Anger may seem like a quick fix' Yelling will only come back to haunt

you later

First


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FirstImpressions

Slouching, avoiding eyecontact, can show a lackof self confidence

This kind of self-presentation can

perpetuate a cycle of non-assertive behavior

You Can Change Your


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You Can Change YourHabits

1. Identify what you want to change aboutyourself

2. Set a goal

3. Control your fears and anxieties4. Aim for a success that is manageableat first

5. Keep a record to monitor your progress

6. Practice, practice, practice!

Dont lose sight of yourgoal, and remember

that upkeep is a life-long


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Game Plan

Analyzing your skills

How do you plan to improve youInterpersonal communication skill

Mention the time frame


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Evaluation


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Interpersonal


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Click to edit Master subtitle style

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Session V & VI

Neha Jasani


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Assignment evaluation

Peer evaluation

Story

Overall presentation and written comm

Faculty evaluation


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Interpersonal


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Power

Technology

Culture

Culture and


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Culture andcommunication

Culture and communication areinseparable

The core of stand-point theory

Enculturation

Acculturation

In-group/out-group identification

Achievement vs


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Achievement vs.Nurturing

Achievement culture

Places high value on material success and afocus on the task at hand

Nurturing culture

regards the support of relationships as animportant goal

a. Hard cultures: Japan, Switzerland, andGermany.

Individualist vs


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Individualistvs.Collectivist

Individualist cultures

Value individual accomplishments

characterized by self-reliance andcompetition

(Examples: U.S., Canada, Australia andGreat Britain.)

Collectivist cultures

Feel loyalties and obligations to an in-

e process o n erpersona


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e process o n erpersonacommunication - Mark

Knapp Initial encounter Experimenting

Intensifying- further pursuing Integration- intense friendships,

close business partnerships,

romantic commitments Bonding


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Reverse pattern

Differentiating

Circumscribing stage

Stagnating stage Avoidance stage

Termination

The Negotiation Process


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The Negotiation Process

Always try to negotiate for at least 15minutes

Offer to let the other party speak first

Respect and listen to what your opponenthas to say

Acknowledge what the other party says Pay attention to your own and your

counter partner's body language


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Case study and analysis

as -m nu e s rong-arm


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gtactics

Walking out of the room

Offering a short-term bribe

Telling you to take it or leave it Giving an ultimatum

Abrupt change in tone

Introducing new requests

Adopting the Mr. Nice Guy persona


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Preparation

What is my mainobjective?

What are all of the

alternatives I canthink of?

Wh do I deserve to Collaborative


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Negotiating Resolve previous conflicts ahead of

time

Deal with issues, not personalities

Listen A common mistake is to prepare one's

next question or point while theopponent is speaking

Establish trust in the onset

Develop a common oal

Gender differences in


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Gender differences interpersonal communication

Men and Women communicate verydifferently almost as though theycome from different planets

At times they would perceive thesame message to have differentmeanings


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Men arefromMars,


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Listening exercise

Learning languages

Raising successful children Exotic animal kingdom

http://www.esl-lab.com/learn/learnrd1.

Last Lecture- Lessons learned

Ski i i h
http://www.esl-lab.com/learn/learnrd1.htmhttp://www.esl-lab.com/learn/learnrd1.htm


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Skit topics in the past

If speaking is silver, then listening isgold.

Nobody can make you feel inferior

without your consent.

"Never forget that only dead fishswim with the stream.

"The way we communicate withothers and with ourselves ultimatelydetermines the quality of our lives.

Generic theme


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Styles of communication

Conflict resolution using effectivecommunication

Cultural difference as a barrier ofcommunication

Gender Differences in Interpersonalcommunication

Negotiation

Generic theme


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Evaluation Guidelines

Q i


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Quiz

Language barriers- Difference interminology

Topics of the previous sessions

POABAU


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BAUTGIF

BIDAKAASAPKISS

RSVPSWOTUSPDINK

FMCGCOBEODDIY


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Interpersonal Communication 21

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