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Let Go of Your
Limit ing Bel iefs
L i v e t h e l i f e y o u w a n t A three-step approach
Annie Hlavats EFT Life Coach
Let Go of Your Limiting Beliefs Copyright © 2015 Blue Sky EFT Solutions
P.O. Box 91564 Orleans, Ontario, Canada K1W 0A6 www.blueskyeft.com
Published and distributed by Blue Sky EFT Solutions
For information contact: http://blueskyeft.com/contact/
Legal Notice No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without written permission from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment and information purposes only. The views expressed are those of the authors alone. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage and thus readers must take complete responsibility for their use of it.
Limiting Beliefs
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
Norman Vincent Peale
ur ultimate goal in life is to be happy. For some people, being happy comes with no effort. They sail through life with ease, and they get the things they want with no difficulty. For others, there is nothing but struggle. No
matter how hard they try, their goals remain unachievable, and happiness remains just an elusive dream. The rest of us fall somewhere in between. This handbook is written to help anyone who feels that they may be falling short of their goals and need a boost to get to their “next level” of achievement.
In this workbook, we address one major block to happiness: the notorious limiting belief. Beliefs are ideas that we form through observation and
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experience during the course of our life. They are there to guide us, to help us make decisions and to protect us from danger. These beliefs can be conscious or subconscious, and once they are formed, we don’t question them, we accept them as facts. They become part of our “personal operating system.” The only problem is that some of the beliefs we develop are counterproductive. They are our limiting beliefs. On account of keeping us safe, they actually sabotage our efforts and stop us from achieving our goals... unless we find a way to let them go.
Your beliefs shape every aspect of your world When you believe that something is attainable, your beliefs support you and help you get what you want. But when your beliefs are not aligned with your intentions, they create limitations. And this applies to every facet of your life. Your health and well-being are very much affected by what you believe. For example, when you are ill, your beliefs play a major role in your ability to get well. They determine your body’s response to medical interventions and even affect the results that you will get. Many documented cases show that positive beliefs can cure illness and speed recovery. Conversely, when the mind thinks itself sick, the negative impact can be just as dramatic. Your beliefs define how you value yourself as a person and what you are capable of. They create your self-image. Whether with relationships, weight loss or even in your career, your success is largely dependent on how you perceive your “self”, or the self-image that your beliefs have created.
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In sports, it is your self-belief that is a major determinant of your performance. Psychologists go as far as saying that self-belief can improve sporting success as much as illegal performance-enhancing drugs. And when it comes to money, your beliefs can make or break your financial success. For example, how you see yourself with money can get in the way of your success. If you believe that you will always struggle and always be poor, chances are that you will set yourself up for failure. This limiting belief will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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What do limiting beliefs have in common? All limiting beliefs exist for “good reasons”. They are there to protect us from an anticipated threat. They help us avoid a situation that we perceive as dangerous or unpleasant based on old programming. They set our comfort zones. Limiting beliefs are driven by emotions, and very often by fear. It could be fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, or any number of other fears. Limiting beliefs can also feed on secondary gains or hidden benefits. This was the case of Joan, a 64 year-old agoraphobic. Joan’s limiting belief was “I am not capable of going out of my home”. Because of this situation, her children came to visit her three times a week. Had she been able to go out, her children wouldn’t need to come to see her. Joan’s limiting belief was subconsciously keeping her assured that her children would continue to visit her.
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How can you change your limiting beliefs? An effective way to permanently change those limiting beliefs is to neutralize the underlying emotions on which they feed. While various other techniques may be used to achieve this result, in this handbook, we will focus solely on the use of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). EFT is very effective for resetting your comfort zones to unlock your full potential. EFT is one of the most popular energy psychology modalities. It combines elements of cognitive therapy, exposure therapy and acupressure. It is safe, non-invasive and drug free. EFT is now used worldwide by millions of people to overcome innumerable challenges ranging from anxiety, insomnia and phobias to severe trauma, physical pain or addictions. Its effectiveness is well supported by clinical studies. EFT involves gentle tapping with two or three fingers on selected acupoints (please see the diagram at the end of this document). This gentle stimulation of acupoints while feeling anxious sends a calming signal to the brain. The negative thoughts then become associated with a state of relaxation and get neutralized. Psychologists call this effect desensitization or counterconditioning. And evidence shows that its results are permanent.
The Three Steps
ere is a three-step approach to reprogram your limiting beliefs:
STEP ONE: Identify your limiting beliefs
When you encounter difficulty meeting your goals, be they personal goals, career goals, creative goals or wellness goals, you need to uncover what is holding you back. One way to identify the obstacles that emerge between you and the goal is to visualize yourself having already reached your goal, or being already in the situation that you would like to have. For example, being fit and energized, being in the perfect relationship, enjoying abundance, having the most successful career, looking great in your clothes, or whatever your goal is. Now see how it feels. If it doesn’t feel completely right, explore those feelings. Any uncertainty or doubts you may be feeling about the situation will be pointing to a limiting belief. Another way to detect these saboteurs is to listen to your self-talk. You may catch yourself making self-defeating statements. Learn to recognize these statements when you hear them. These are your limiting beliefs. If you are not aware that they exist, it can be hard to change them or let them go.
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Here are 10 common statements that point to a limiting belief: 1. “It’s hopeless; I’ll never be able to do it”. Anytime you use the
word “never” you can be sure that your judgement is based on a limiting belief. For example “I’ll never have any money because it takes money to make money.” This belief excludes any possibility of making money through any other way.
2. “I can’t do it.” When people feel they can’t do something, they blame their lack of skills or knowledge, or other personal limitations. For example: “I can’t do this work because I can’t function with this new technology”. This could be true, but does it mean that nothing can be done to change it? In fact, all you need to do is learn the new technology – you may even find free tutorials on line, or simply ask someone to explain it to you.
3. “It’s not my fault.” Sometimes a limiting belief has to do with the idea that outside forces that you can’t control are at work keeping you down. You can’t find a job or get clients because of the downturn in the economy, or because you live in a depressed area, or because you don’t have the right clothing and so forth. You believe that nothing in your power can change the outcome of the situation because it is controlled by destiny. This “it’s out of my hands” type of thinking can be very limiting and make you feel powerless. It transfers the responsibility for your situation to someone, or something other than yourself.
4. “What’s the use?” The idea that nothing you can do will make
any difference is also a very powerful self-limiting belief. It
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takes away all your will to even try and reach your goals. Have you ever thought to yourself: “It doesn’t matter if I exercise an hour a day, I just won’t lose weight”; or “It doesn’t matter how hard I work, I’ll never get that promotion”? That kind of negative self-talk is totally self defeating, as it keeps you from even trying.
5. “I’m not good enough.” This could also be “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not attractive enough,” or any other ‘not … enough’. The idea that you are not enough to deserve what you really want can be very self-limiting. It seems to affect women more than men. You feel you don’t measure up to the standards. You just don’t have what it takes to get where you want to be, therefore you don’t even bother trying.
6. “I was born this way” or “it’s in my genes.” While genetic factors plays a huge role in how you look and what you experience in life, the science of epigenetics shows that in fact our external environment is just as important. The truth is that our genes are just a blueprint and we can change or fix how they express themselves by changing our environment. Our mindset, our beliefs, as well as training, diet, exercise, meditation can shape our genetic expression. This limiting belief is just another excuse to keep you from trying to achieve your goals.
7. “I’ll look stupid” or “I’m a bad public speaker.” This belief may protect you from embarrassment, but in fact it stops you in your tracks. It even prevents you from developing or improving a skill that you may not have mastered yet. Many introverted or shy people have become very successful public
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speakers and motivational coaches by overcoming their challenges.
8. “I am not like the others.” This limiting belief implies that you are different; it could also mean that you “don’t belong.” You are a misfit, and there is nothing you can do to change this fact. By believing this, you automatically exclude yourself from any situations that could lead to new opportunities and benefits. And you dismiss even the remote possibility that this could ever change.
9. “I don’t deserve to be loved.” This limiting belief may be the result of abuse or abandonment, especially in childhood. It is a false belief that you don’t deserve anything better. Because of that belief you may be attracting people who don’t want to love you, and seem to repel people who truly care about you. It is also a way of protecting yourself from more potential abuse or hurt.
10. “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” This statement has been heard so many times; no wonder you may end up believing it. But what does it do to your perception of money? It keeps you from expecting to make money easily. It makes you believe that financial freedom is almost impossible to achieve.
Use the Limiting Beliefs Identification Worksheet provided at the end of this handbook to keep track of your limiting beliefs.
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STEP TWO: Expose the REASON Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, it is time to do some investigative work. Remember, there is always a reason at the root of the belief. Once you recognize the reason, you are a step closer to clearing your limiting belief. One way to expose the reason for your belief is to ask yourself four powerful questions:
“What is preventing me from getting rid of this belief?” Ask yourself if you are deriving any benefits from holding on to that belief. Be honest with yourself. Exposing the reality can be very unpleasant. Just accept it as a fact, without passing any judgment. “What am I doing or not doing to get rid of this limiting belief?” Remember that the limiting belief is there to keep you safe. Sometimes you may not even want to let it go. Recognise your resistance and take note of your feelings. Look at yourself with love and compassion. Praise yourself for taking the initiative to move forward. “What would happen if I didn’t have this limiting belief anymore?” Suppose your belief is that you’ll never be able to make money. By losing this belief you expose yourself to the possibility that you may indeed get rich and successful one day. That may represent a threat in itself. You may lose your current identity. You may not know how to handle your money or other people’s expectations. You may feel guilty for having too much. All this would once again make you feel unsafe, take you out of
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your comfort zone. “What would happen if I kept my limiting belief?” Suppose your belief is that you are not a good public speaker. By keeping your limiting belief, you are sure to stay safe in your comfort zone. You would therefore avoid any public speaking engagements, or opportunities to be in the spotlight. This could point to a fear of failure, or the fear of being ridiculed, or humiliated. Once you have answered these four questions, the reason for your limiting belief will become evident. Don’t be surprised if you find more than one reason. It is often the case. Use the Underlying Reason Identification Worksheet at the end of this handbook to help you capture the information.
STEP THREE: TAP away your limiting beliefs Now you are ready to tap on those underlying reasons that hold your belief in place. Please refer to the diagram with the Tapping Points to identify and locate the acupoints you are going to use. Write down the reason or reasons you want to address. This is “the problem” that you will be tapping on. Check the level of discomfort or anxiety that you get when confronting “the problem”. Rate that discomfort on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being very low and 10 very high. You will rate your level again after the tapping to see if there is any change.
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Try to see where you feel that discomfort or anxiety in your body. All emotions have a physical manifestation. Note down the sensation and the location. Follow this simple tapping script or tailor it to your own needs. Use your own words when tapping on yourself. Choose words that bring out emotions in you. The idea is to tune in to your negative feelings to be able to neutralize them.
Tapping Script For illustration purposes, we will use “I am not good enough” as a limiting belief, and the fear of failure as the reason for the belief. This will be the “problem” you would be tapping on. The fear may also feel like heavy weight pressing on your chest. The emotional intensity of the fear may be at an 8. Repeat the following set up phrases while tapping on the Karate Chop point of the hand: • Even though I have “this fear of failure” and it is preventing
me from reaching my goals, I deeply and completely accept myself.
• Even though I have “this fear of failure” and because of it I
miss so many opportunities, I forgive myself and anyone else who may have contributed to it.
• Even though I have “this fear of failure” that held me back for
so long, I recognize that it is in my way and I choose to let it go.
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Now, moving to the rest of the points: EB: I am afraid to fail. SE: And this fear is holding me back. UE: I feel it in my chest. UN: Pressing like a heavy weight. UL: I am afraid to fail. CB: And this fear is keeping me stuck. UA: It is sabotaging my efforts. TH: It is preventing me from moving forward. Let’s do another round while expressing that fear. EB: I am so afraid to fail. SE: And for that reason I don’t take any chances. UE: I avoid new challenges. UN: And I miss so many opportunities. UL: I cannot face the possibility of failing. CB: It just terrifies me. UA: I don’t want to try anything new. TH: It is just too painful. Now take a deep breath in and let it out. You just did two rounds of tapping. Now check the intensity of your fear. In some cases this is enough to clear its emotional charge. If it is down to a 3 or a 2, from an 8 in our example, you
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are ready for positive affirmations. If not, do a few more rounds to get it down to the desired level. It is important that you reduce the emotional intensity of your fear before introducing positive affirmations. When you are ready, let’s move on to work on the positive statements. Tapping on the positive: EB: I chose to accept that failing is normal. SE: After all, everyone is going to fail now and then. UE: And 90 percent of successful entrepreneurs have failed along the way. UN: Instead of being terrified of failure, I can use failure as a learning experience. UL: I can use failure as an opportunity to strengthen my determination. CB: I can use failure as an opportunity for personal growth. UA: There is so much knowledge, insight and experience to gain from failure. TH: So why am I so afraid of failing? EB: It doesn’t make sense. SE: I allow myself to release those fears. UE: I feel safe. UN: I can face the possibility of failing without trepidation. UL: I look forward to exploring new opportunities. CB: Nothing is holding me back any more. UA: I am excited to move forward in life through failure or success. TH: I feel empowered.
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Take a deep breath in... Exhale... How does it feel? Now go back to your limiting belief and see how true it is. When you’re done, visualize yourself meeting the goal that you have been avoiding or sabotaging because of that belief. If you still feel uncomfortable, there might be another reason that you haven’t cleared in the way. Identify the reason and repeat the process until you feel totally neutral. Tap every day. Sometimes just becoming aware of your limiting belief is enough to extinguish its power. However, most of the time limiting beliefs have deep roots; don’t get discouraged if you don’t clear them after the first few trials. It takes 66 days to change a habit. Work on one belief at the time. The key is to keep at it. Using this technique is a simple yet powerful way to change many habits or beliefs and reset your comfort zone to unlock your true potential. It can really just take a few minutes of tapping a day to make a very big difference in your life. You will then be able to move forward and reach your goals — whether it is a wellness goal, a financial goal, a personal goal, a career goal or a spiritual goal. Changing your beliefs is a first step toward taking charge of your life. It is definitely worth a try! Start today and live the life of your dreams! We’re cheering you on at blueskyeft.com. Let us know how you’re doing – contact us.
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