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Ch. 4 Listening



Listening vs. Hearing Hearing- the process in which sound waves

strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that

are transmitted to the brain

Listening occurs when the brain

reconstructs these electrochemical impulses

into a representation of the original soundthat gives them meaning



The listening process involves

several stages Attending- paying attention to a certain

stimulus

Understanding-when we make sense of themessage we heard

Responding- when we give feedback to the

person who sent the message Remembering- what we actually remember

of the message that we heard



Are we good listeners?

Studies show that people only remember half of what we hear immediately after

hearing it (within two months half of thehalf we remembered is also gone)

Overall, we remember about 25% of whatwe hear

The residual message is what weremember



mportant points to remember Listening is not a natural process

Listening requires effort

All listeners do not receive the same

messages



Faulty listening behaviors

Psuedolistening- when someone appears to be

listening but in reality they are not

Selective listening- only listen to what they wantto listen to

Defensive listening-take innocent comments as

personal attacks

Ambushing- listen carefully but only to collect

information to use against you and attack



Faulty listening cont«

Insulated listening- forget right away what

they heard do not pay attention to the

message that was sent

Insensitive listening- don¶t receive others

messages clearly because they do not look

beneath the words being spoken only take atface value



Faulty listening behaviors cont«

Stage hogging- ³conversational narcissists´

try to turn the topic to themselves instead of

showing interest in the speaker



Informational listening

A listening approach to follow when you

want to understand another person.

When goal is to clearly interpret message

sent by other person you are communicating

with



You may become a more

effective informational listener

by practicing the following sevenskills:



#1 Don¶t argue or judge

prematurely Listen first

Make sure you understand

Then evaluate or argue, if you choose



#2 Separate the message from the

speaker Don¶t shoot the messenger

Don¶t discount a message just based on who

is presenting it



#3Be opportunistic

Find some value in even the worst situations

Even when you are stuck in a boring

conversation there might still be nuggets of

important information



#4 Look for key ideas

Try to figure out what the main point of the

message is



#5A

sk questions Questioning is a very useful tool in

clarifying interpretations

Ask questions in order to clarify your idea

of the sender¶s message



#6Paraphrase

Restate what it is you think the message

was that the sender meant to send

Than ask if you were correct in your

interpretation

This leaves room for possible needed

clarification



#7 T

ake notes Notes provide an excellent backup to

memory

Use when it is important that message is

remembered



Points that will help you take

effective notes: Don¶t wait to long after the interaction to

write notes down

Record only key ideas

Develop a note-taking format



Critical listening Critical listening or evaluative listening-

takes place when one is judging the quality

of a message in order to decide whether to

accept it or reject it



There are many important points

to remember when criticallyevaluating a message

Listen to information before evaluating

Evaluate speakers credibility

-is the speaker competent?

- is the speaker impartial/biased?



Examine the speaker¶s evidence

and reasoning

1. Is the evidence recent enough?

2. Is enough evidence presented?

3. Is the evidence from a reliable source?

4. Can the evidence be interpreted in morethan one way?



Examine emotional appeals Are you being influenced only by emotion?



Empathic Listening Takes place when the overall goal is to

build a relationship or help the speaker

solve a problem

Often used when others seek help for

personal dilemmas

May also help you to become better acquainted with others





Advising

Takes place when one tries to help by offering asolution

Before offering advice it is important that threeconditions are met:

1. You are confident that advice is correct

2. Ask yourself whether the person seeking your

advice seems willing to accept it3. Be certain that the receiver won¶t blame you if

the advice doesn¶t work out



Judging A judging response evaluates the sender¶s

thoughts or behaviors in some way

Can be positive or negative



For best results when judging the

following conditions should

exist:1. The person with problem should have

requested an evaluation from you

2. Your judgment is genuinely constructive

and not designed as a put down



Analyzing

The listener offers an interpretation of a

speaker¶s message



There are many guidelines to

follow when analyzing a

message:

1. Offer your interpretation in a tentative way rather

than as absolute fact2. Your analysis ought to have a reasonable chance

of being correct

3. Be sure other person will be receptive to your

analysis4. Be sure that your motive for offering analysis is

truly to help the other person



Questioning is a way to help others think and work through

their problems

The most effective questioning follows these principles:

1. Don¶t ask questions just to satisfy your owncuriosity

2. Be sure your questions won¶t confuse or distractthe person you are trying to help

3. Don¶t use questions to disguise your suggestionsor criticism



Supporting Offering support for another dealing with

a problem may have a powerful effect

When offering support:

1. Make sure your expression of support is

sincere

2. Be sure the other person can accept your

support



Prompting A more passive approach to helping others

solve problems

Prompting involves using silences and brief

statements of encouragement to draw others

out, guiding them to solve their own

problems



Paraphrasing Repeating what others said in your own

words and asking for clarification



When paraphrasing consider the

following:1. Is the problem complex enough?

2. Do you have the necessary time and

concern?3. Are you genuinely interested in helping

the other person?

4. Can you withhold judgment?5. Is your paraphrasing in proportion to other

responses?



In conclusion« Listening is a complex process, but with

this knowledge and practice we all have the

ability to become more effective listeners



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