Understanding Mentee NeedsValuing the Individual & Sharing the Experience

Good Mentoring

Respects the uniqueness of the mentee

Focuses on the positive results

Allows mentees to “Do it their way.”

Takes into consideration mentee needs

Mentee Needs

Adapting to change

Fostering positive self-image

Managing change

Dealing with gray areas

Adapting to Change

During the mentoring process the mentee is asked to consider changes through receiving a challenging opportunity or through a personal insight

Change can bring on a (1) sense of loss over beliefs, behaviors, relationships, (2) fear of the unknown, (3) fear of failure, (4) anxiety of success and resulting expectations

Mentors Challenge: Recognize the needs of a person adapting to change

Fostering a Positive Self-Image

Focusing on deficiencies makes it difficult to be motivated or make positive change

Mentors Challenge: Provide confidence building feedback DO Give mentees a chance to vent Provide ideas when appropriate or asked, refer as needed DON’T Provide advice for which you are not qualified Be directive trying to solve mentee problems

Managing Change Successfully

A clear vision of the mentee’s situation after the change (context shifting)

Time to absorb the new vision and adjust behaviors

Developing productive coping mechanisms and adjustment strategies for stress of change

Time to consider the change and to own the change

Mentors Challenge: Supporting visioning process, displaying patience and modeling adjustment techniques

Dealing with Gray Areas

There is not always a road map when helping someone grow and develop as a person

Mentee changes may not be dramatic Notice small or gradual changes Read verbal and nonverbal cues

Acknowledging clues may bring change to surface

Mentors Challenge: Look for small signs of change and don’t get discouraged

Common Pitfalls

Criticizing Instead: Find constructive neutral alternatives

Giving advice Instead: Listen, feedback emotions/use empathy Instead: Assist with the problem solving process by

sharing, modeling and teaching

Rescuing people Instead: Assist people in understanding their

situation and with generating solutions

Examples

Statement: “I’m worried about our group project. I don’t want to get an “F” if

other people don’t do their part.”

Feeling Scared, maybe angry and anxious.

Typical Intervention “Don’t worry. This happens every year and it always works out

just fine.”

Effective Response “You seem very concerned about the consequences. Let’s talk

about it. I want to hear exactly what is troubling you.”

Practice

Work together in pairs to work through the following scenarios. Report out to the group.

Scenarios

Feeling, Typical Intervention, Effective Response “I think volunteering is a waste of time. It isn’t doing

me any good and I don’t want to do it.” “I am so overwhelmed with all the need in the

world, I know I will not be able to make a difference.”

“I don’t know how to write about my experience, I am such a failure at everything.”

“People just don’t understand me. I try to get my point across, but I am always ignored.”

It’s a Partnership

Although you may be the perceived “expert” the mentoring relationship should not be a hierarchy, i.e. junior/senior or top-down

Information is shared rather than given

Expectations should be discussed for both parties

You will get a lot from the mentoring process

References

Shea, G. (2002), How to Develop a Successful Mentor Behaviors. California: Crisp Learning.