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Not Matt Paxton€¦ · –Help gain a general understanding of people affected by hoarding...

Date post: 20-Jul-2020
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  • N o t M a t t P a x t o n

    • Mike Kelleher

    • Worked with Matt

    cleaning out

    hoards and estates

    for last 5 years

    • Pop Culture and

    Antique Expert

    • Lead star of

    Legacy List with

    Matt Paxton

    • How I got into this work?

  • •We work with 2 types of clients

    – HOARDERS

    – Downsizing Seniors (just have decades of stuff)

    •Goals

    – Help gain a general understanding of people affected by

    hoarding

    – Showcase our new show and how we are introducing

    downsizing to the US

    W H A T T O E X P E C T T O D A Y

  • U N D E R S T A N D I N G

    H O A R D I N G

  • W H A T I S H O A R D I N G ?

    Hoarding is a mental disorder marked by an

    obsessive desire to acquire a significant amount

    of possessions.

    Something bad has happened and they are

    looking for their happiness and self-worth in stuff.

    There is ALWAYS a reason.

  • • Grief causes hoarding

    • But time allows for MORE

    grief

    • As our population grows

    and downsizes, we will see 2

    of the largest generations

    transfer STUFF and WEALTH

    •What’s holding your clients

    back from moving in?

    I S H O A R D I N G H E R E T O S T A Y ?

  • Generations & their Stuff

  • •Some people hoard items for survival

    or pure emotion

    •Others hoard items simply to fulfill an

    impulse to purchase

  • • 50% Male/Female

    • Not just the elderly

    • Incredibly intelligent

    • Careers

    – Teachers, Nurses & Social Workers

    • They are NOT lazy, crazy or sloppy

    • There is always a trigger

    – Grief, divorce, abuse, empty home, accident or loss of job

    • They are looking for self-worth & happiness

  • • Self worth & happiness– Positive (faith, volunteering, exercise, etc)

    – Negative (drugs, alcohol, beanie babies, etc)

    •We can hide our secrets

    •We believe we are “going to get to it…”

    •We avoid the “NOW”

    •We hold onto the past– Why do we hold on

    •We think things were better…

    H O W W E A R E A L I K E

  • H O W T O P R O P E R L Y

    C O M M U N I C A T E

  • PERCEPTION

    The hoarder thinks: • You don’t like them.

    • The family doesn’t like them.

    • Their hoarding is still a secret.

    How you combat this:•Communication

  • • Front door communications:• Stand in the right place

    • Invite them to come outside

    • 5 min conversation

    • Wait to be INVITED inside

    • Word choice:• “This isn’t so bad. I’ve seen a lot worse.”

    • What if this is the worst thing you’ve

    ever seen?

    • “…but I wouldn’t want my mom to live

    like this.”

    COMMUNICATIONS – FRONT DOOR

  • COMMUNICATIONS – WALK-THROUGH

    Word Choice - Walking

    through the door:

    • Have the client lead you through

    the home

    • If you get into a dangerous situation

    and you need to get on safety

    gear, say:

    •“Insurance mandates I have to

    wear gear when I walk through

    your house.”

    • Acknowledge that you might be

    the first person in that home in 10

    years

  • •Ask questions to learn more, but

    keep it vague:

    – “Tell me about ________.”

    •Ask permission for everything:

    – Over-exaggerate (can I put my

    hand here, can I put my foot

    here)

    •Give compliments when they are

    real:

    – “nice china…”

    – “beautiful paintings”

    COMMUNICATIONS – WALK-THROUGH

  • U N D E R S T A N D I N G

    H O A R D I N G

  • Legacy List with Matt Paxton

    • Our goal was to make a positive show about aging

    seniors and their experiences downsizing.

    • Every cable channel passed on it, except for Public

    Television.

    • We start airing in January 2020

    • Matt will have a new Downsizing Q&A radio show on

    NPR starting in January 2020

    • What is a Legacy List?

  • Let’s take a look!

  • HOARDING Or DOWNSIZING

    What did we learn?

    • It’s never about the stuff

    • It’s about the personal

    and emotional stories

    and people attached to

    those items

    • Take the time to

    communicate and listen

    to the stories

    • Lead with compassion &

    respect

  • Overwhelmed by stuff?

    • Q&A

    • We can Help

    • For resources and tips go to

    www.IamMattPaxton.com

    • 804-502-2690

    [email protected]

    Let’s take a look!

    http://www.iammattpaxton.com/mailto:[email protected]

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