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Comparison of My Strengths and Weaknesses as a Writer
Natalie Fruit Dr. Matthew Horton
English 1101 08 December 2011
Comparison of My Strengths and Weaknesses as a Writer
Table of Contents
Analytical Cover Letter ....................................................................................................................1
Quality Comparison .........................................................................................................................4
Least Successful Article Response ......................................................................................4
Most Successful Article Response .......................................................................................6
“What’s the Difference?” .....................................................................................................8
Revision Samples ...........................................................................................................................11
Least Successful Article Response (with markup) ............................................................11
Least Successful Article Response (final) .........................................................................14
Most Successful Article Response (with markup) .............................................................17
Most Successful Article Response (final) ..........................................................................18
Most Successful Essay (with markup) ...............................................................................20
Most Successful Essay (final) ............................................................................................27
1
December 8, 2011 Matthew R. Horton, Ph. D. Assistant Professor of English Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 313b Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA 30677 Dear Dr. Horton, My name is Natalie Fruit and I am a freshman at Gainesville State College. As I’ve gone back and looked through all of my assignments from this English 1101 class, it’s clear that I have showed major improvements as a writer and have also learned a lot of information along the way. This final portfolio organizes the selections of some of my best and worst writings throughout the semester. In my portfolio, my progress shows that I have developed from average, high school writings to more in depth essays full of structure and detail. This English 1101 course has taught me to analyze the authors point of view and the why it’s important to consider his or her point of view, rather than just summarizing what is discussed throughout the article. This started off as being a challenge for me because before college I was never faced with this type style of writing, but I was willing to learn and grow as a writer. As you read through my portfolio, my improvements as a writer are very clear. The criticism I received from you as my teacher on each of my assignments really helped encourage me to do better every time. You have taught me that articles don’t just consist of the topic that is presented, but that there is much more depth to be considered while reading a piece of writing. I had a difficult time trying to relate to certain articles that weren’t necessarily easy to relate to. With both these struggles and improvements, without reading my final portfolio neither of these would be able to be identified. However, there is always room for more improvements throughout all of my work this semester, and I have done the best of my ability to take the editing skills I’ve learned in this course to perfect each of my assignments. After you have read my portfolio you should have a better understanding of what information and skills as a writer I will take with me to my English 1102 course next semester. My least successful article response was “Wastefulness vs. Reality.” This article discusses the issue that Americans have this idea of limitlessness, and have become more wasteful of resources then ever before. I didn’t seem to have a difficult time with revising this article response because there was much that needed to improve including the length of the article and a better understanding of the author’s point of view. Being my first article response, I struggled to grasp what was exactly needed to receive a perfect score. It was difficult for me to actually capture what point of view the author was portraying, which gave me little room to form in depth, detailed articles. Also, instead of providing relevant information about the author’s point of view, I just added useless information to add length to my article. However, I used an equally good amount of quotes from the author, but I never seemed to describe the importance of those quotes and they weren’t necessarily placed correctly to make the sentence flow. When revising the first paragraph, I basically started from the beginning and created a more detailed
2
understanding of the author’s point of view. I also included more in depth quotes that make the paragraph easier determine exactly how the author feels. The second paragraph also needed a lot of revising due to the fact that I didn’t discuss the significance of the author’s point of view at all. I had a hard time staying on topic, and included unimportant information. I reexamined this significance and created a more informed paragraph. My revisions made ultimately reflect a better article response than before, that grade did not reflect my best work and I used skills that I’ve learned to edit this response into being more successful. My most successful article response was “Baby Doomers.” This article discussed the issue of what little efforts the Baby Boomers generation has made to our society. One of the main things I did wrong in this article response was include useless information in my topic sentence, just to add length to my paragraphs. For example, the opening sentence stated “In Michael Kinsley’s article, “The Least We Can Do” he introduces the ongoing issue on what the Baby Boomers generations have and have yet to offer to our current and future society.” The problem with this sentence is that I included the author and title of the article, this information is not important to the response and therefore not needed, also this sentence lacks detail and is a very broad statement about what the author is expressing throughout the article. In the first paragraph I appeared to go off topic and included certain information without going into detail about what I just previously described. I also made some minor changes in sentence structure as well as placement, which helped sentences make more sense. The second paragraph was difficult for me to make changes, because to be honest, putting aside a couple of mistakes, this paragraph provided a developed understanding of the important of the author’s point of view. Not implying that there is never room for any improvement, removing a few unnecessary sentences was the major editing I made to this paragraph. However, overall my revisions show that this article response now has a better opportunity to become a possible perfect score. My most successful article essay was “The Disease That Always Wins: Cuts a Life Short.” Author Ann Hulbert went into detail of her mother’s experience with cancer, and her choice to accept the fact that she was not going to survive rather than to fight the disease. As I read this article, I thought about what impact cancer has had on my life, and then I was reminded of Amanda Riley, a friend from high school who was also diagnosed with cancer. I took the writing on Ann Hulbert, and related her story to something in my life. The connection I had with her story helped me produce rich, in detail sentences about the life of Amanda Riley, which ultimately would help the reader to connect with my story as I did the original author. My revisions consist of showing how this essay wasn’t just a story, but rather what I took with me from Hulbert’s article. My stages and thesis statement also lacked some detail, so I created more elaborate sentences to help fill in the gaps. In the end, I’m satisfied with my revisions and feel as if it makes for a much better essay than before. Throughout this course, I haven’t particularly become a perfect writer but I can say that I have definitely improved as a writer from when I first began this course. It’s clear that I started off a little shaking and had a difficult time understanding what I was expected to do for each writing piece, and how I was supposed to achieve this with A and B scores. I plan to be able to take the skills that I have learned and continue to use them in my English 1102 course next semester. These skills have helped me to connect with articles and there authors, rather than just looking at the overall big picture of the writing piece. I was pushed all semester to compose writing
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assignments that I have never done before, and it was a struggle to connect with the author when I was always used to summarizing. In all of my pieces of writing throughout this portfolio, I had difficulty with staying on topic and not just adding unnecessary quotes and information just to add depth to my work. For starting the semester with a six out of ten on the first article response, and leaving with a nine out of ten on my second, the improvement in my writing is obvious within. I seemed to have grasped the major concept of writing that you were looking for, and hope that these skills will help me with further writing pieces not just through the educational level, but as well as socially. Overall, I am proud of the improvements I have made but I am always aware that there is always room for much more improvement. Once I chose the final portfolio option as my final grade, I knew I made the right choice. Being my first portfolio of my college experience, I liked the challenge it emphasized to criticize your own work. I had a hard time in finding some issues with some of my writing, not wanting to let go of what I thought of as perfect sentences. The fact that I was still able to complete the task of finding enough imperfections really shows that I have developed as a writer. Seeing as though my overall scores have improved, it’s clear that I have grown as a writer since when I first started. After reviewing and editing all of my work, I feel as if my final portfolio grade achieves an overall A. However, I do still see room for improvement in all of my writing, but the changes I made throughout the portfolio shows my growth as a writer and I can say I am satisfied with that. I know I am capable of receiving the A+ work that I know I deserve once I motivate myself and put my mind to it. My struggles have turned into my strong points, and that is sufficient enough to say that I have developed as a writer and I am now able to take my skills to the next level. Thank you for revising my final portfolio, this English 1101course started as a struggle but in the end, I knew I could do it. Your teachings were very helpful for my further success as a writer. Sincerely, Natalie Fruit
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Least Successful Article Response
Wastefulness vs Reality
Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's
Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 31 Dec. 2009.
In the article "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits," Wendell Berry's point of view
generally states that Americans are starting to become more wasteful than ever before. He seems
to be focusing on the fact that the American way of life is apparently indestructible. He mentions
that "the real names of global warming are waste and greed," which seems to be true due to the
fact that we will keep on wasting, consuming, and spending until we have none. Berry is
basically saying that we Americans are blinded by the fact that we are foolish with our use of
resources, and seem to think everything is limitless. With this idea of limitlessness, he states that
this includes "limitless growth, wants, wealth, natural resources, energy, and debt." It's also
important for Americans to begin realizing that we are "limited creatures in a limited world." It's
obvious that Berry seems to show nothing but anger towards the American way of life and how
we are continuing to a wasteful future.
Berry makes his argument very clear, and it really gets you thinking how you yourself are
making an impact on this current issue in the world. Americans need to begin realizing that now
is not the time to be wasteful and greedy, due to the continuing increase of gas prices and how
our everyday activities have a heavy impact on the global warming phenomenon. To many
readers Berry's argument may seem harsh, yet it is also extremely rational. It's important to take
into consideration that we were only blessed with one world, and this idea of an unlimited
society is make believe. Americans must begin to modify their selfish and wasteful ways, if they
have any hopes of the near future. Wendell Berry's argument seems to be hopeful that Americans
5
will take this article into perspective and help turn around the current downward spiral of the
economy.
6
Most Successful Article Response
Baby Doomers
Kinsley, Michael. "The Least We Can Do." The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, October
2010. Web. 9 September 2011.
In Michael Kinsley's article, "The Least We Can Do" he introduces the ongoing issue on
what the Baby Boomers generation have and have yet to offer to our current and future society.
Kinsley's point of view towards the Boomers is nothing but anger and disappointment. He
mentions that this generation is viewed as a "self-absorbed, self-indulgent and just plain selfish
culture." The Boomers, being children of the so called "Greatest Generation" may have a lot to
live up to; due to the fact that their parents dealt with the Great Depression, World War II, and
overcame Communism. It's clear that the author cannot bear to watch this new generation
become such failures any longer. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing
besides the enormous, endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the
current never ending War with Iraq. When Kinsley mentions, "in the world that Boomers will
pass along to their children, America is widely held in contempt, prosperity looks to more and
more people like a mirage, and things are generally going to hell" he seems to show deep
concern for what Boomers are leaving behind for future generations to come. It's relevant that he
is worried about what impression the effortless Boomers are having on todays society, as well as
the approaching generations. He also mentions how frightening it is that they have realized all of
the problems that they're being faced with and still continue to let everything fall apart. Kinsley's
point of view shows that all he wants is for the Baby Boom generation to prove themselves, and
rid the "failed" impression that they have earned themselves.
7
When taking into consideration the point of view that Kinsley portrays in this article,
many, if not all Baby Boomers may feel extremely insulted. The irony of his degrading thoughts
towards the quote on quote "failed" generation is that he in fact is a Boomer himself. Although
some readers may think to themselves "how would a middle-class, average American be able to
solve this problem?" but that's not the impression Kinsley is trying to put on people. It's
important to take into consideration the point of view of the author, because if the Baby Boom
generation continues to fail in society, then it will be a domino effect for generations to come. It
may seem unfair to place all the blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or
the ongoing war, but the lack of effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim.
It's clear that Kinsley is embarrassed and wants to redeem what little the Boomers have
accomplished throughout the years before things start adding up. This is important for the
numerous generations approaching, our economy, and everyone living in it. Kinsley's article
really challenges what can be done to save the Boomers from such a horrible past, and look
positively into the future. His approach for this article was for Baby Boomers to feel criticized
and realize their lack of efforts.
8
What’s the Difference?
My most successful article response consists of the article, “The Least We Can Do.” This
article response is about an article that goes over what little of contributions the Baby Boomers
generation has made to our society as a whole. It also presents reasons on why they should clear
the “failed” term they have earned themselves, as well as ideas on what needs to be done to
become more of a successful generation before it’s too late. The response I made for this article
received a grade of nine out of ten. In the first paragraph, I discussed the frustrating opinion that
Michael Kinsley seems to illustrate throughout the article, and the concerns he has regarding
what impression the Baby Boomers lack of efforts may have on future generations. This
paragraph also included quotes made by Kinsley to provide specific examples of his particular
point of view. It’s clear that his article was written in efforts to bring into context how worthless
the Baby Boom generation has been, and what efforts they need to start making to not only save
themselves, but our economy as well. The second paragraph concentrates on why it’s important
to take into consideration the point of view Kinsley portrays through the article. His article
certainly heavily criticizes the Baby Boomers, but in a more encouraging, self sufficient way.
Kinsley’s point of view challenges readers, especially those of the Baby Boom generation, to
realize their certain faults and why they should turn their failures into success to help lead to a
more positive future. He seems confident that the Baby Boomers can undo the “Baby Doomers”
perception they have earned, with the right amount of willpower. It really gets the readers
thinking about what efforts can be made to achieve this goal. My response provided all the
information needed, but didn’t necessarily hit all the main requirements.
My least successful article response included the article, “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath
No Limits.” This article response discusses an article that focuses on how wasteful Americans
9
have started to become with our resources, and the impact this issue has made on the economy,
as well as what it means for our future. I earned a six out of ten on this article response. For the
first paragraph, I identified Wendell Berry’s point of view throughout the article and the opinion
that he reveals about Americans irresponsibility and over usage with their certain wants and
needs. I also included quotes made by Berry that helped shape his opinion towards this issue. He
seems angered about the fact that Americans are greedy, and that they will continue this trend
until there is nothing left. This article was written in means of acknowledging that this idea of
everything being limitless needs to be put to an end, also in hopes to open the eyes of these
wasteful Americans before its too late and we run out of resources. In the second paragraph, I
discussed why Berry’s point of view is even worth considering and the impact it should have on
people. I included what the future may look like if Americans don’t begin to change their
wasteful ways, and maybe start contemplating the difference between a want and a need. Berry
challenges the readers to become less of a wasteful society and much more preserving. This
article response lacked some information, major details and didn’t particularly follow the length
requirements.
After reviewing both of my article responses, I realized a significant improvement from
my first article response to the second. Not only just the three point jump from a six to a nine out
of ten, but also I seemed to be more knowledgeable about the topic discussed in my second
article response. However, just because I received a higher score on my second response, doesn’t
necessarily mean certain weaknesses aren’t present like they are throughout my first response. In
“Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,” I seemed to be confused on the specific point of
view the author had, and rambled on for two paragraphs about a topic I wasn’t exactly
connecting with. Although both paragraphs seemed to go off topic and lack of detail, the second
10
paragraph didn’t correctly justify the importance of the author’s point of view as well as I should
have. While in “The Least We Can Do,” I hit the key elements portrayed throughout the author’s
point of view and went into greater detail about why it’s important to consider this issue. I also
included several quotes that helped support the author’s point of view. I regret not receiving help
to determine why this article response didn’t get the perfect score I thought it would get, and to
help perfect future responses.
11
Least Successful Article Response
Wastefulness vsvs. Reality
Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's
Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 20 31 AugDec. 2011 2009.
In the article "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,"Wendell Berry, author of the
article “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,” brings into context the ongoing issue of
Americans who have started to become Wendell Berry's point of view generally states that
Americans are starting to become more wasteful than ever before. Berry’s point of view towards
this issue seems to be disgusted and embarrassed of the fact that Americans have developed this
so called idea of limitlessness He seems to be focusing on the fact that the American way of life
is apparently indestructible. He states, “The dominant response, in short, is a dogged belief that
what we call the American Way of Life will prove somehow indestructible.” This He mentions
that "the real names of global warming are waste and greed," view appears which seems to be
true due to the fact that we will keep on wasting, consuming, and spending until we have nothing
leftne. Berry is basically sayingBerry realizes that we Americans are blinded by the fact that we
are foolish with our use of resources, and seem to think everything is limitlesshave this made up
belief of limitlessness inside our heads. With this idea of limitlessness, he states that this includes
"limitless growth, wants, wealth, natural resources, energy, and debt."There are many root causes
of this idea that may have first stemmed from the Industrial Revolution when unlimited resources
started to rise, or maybe it’s our heavy reliance on the never ending increase of science and
technology that has us always wanting more. Whatever the reason, it’s relevant that Berry’s point
of view is concerned about the influence this crazy idea is having on our society, and Americans
must start limiting their limitlessness if there is any hopes of a promising future. In order to
Formatted: Font: Italic
Comment [GSC1]: The topic sentence lacked detail of what the author discussed throughout the article.
Comment [GSC2]: His overall point of view needed to described in a better format, with more descriptive words that help the reader understand this view.
Comment [GSC3]: More quotes needed to be provided to get a full understanding of his point of view without just restating what he said in my own words.
Comment [GSC4]: This sentence needed to be in a different place to form a better paragraph.
Comment [GSC5]: Sentence needed better structure and more depth.
12
recover from this so called “disease” of limitlessness, Berry states that “We must learn again to
ask how we can make the most of what we are, what we have, what we have been given.”
Americans seem to confuse the definition of wants and needs by turning all of our wants into
dying, unnecessary needs. It's also important for Americans to begin realizing that we are
"limited creatures in a limited world." It's obvious that Berry seems wishes to improve how
irresponsible Americans have become with our resources before we keep continuing on to a
wasteful future. to show nothing but anger towards the American way of life and how we are
continuing to a wasteful future.
Berry makes his argument very clear,Throughout the article, Berry’s point of view
appears to be frustrated and annoyed towards how wasteful Americans have become. It’s
important to take his point of view into consideration because if Americans don’t end this idea of
limitlessness very soon, we will become a country with nothing left. Berry states, “Where there
is no more, our choice is to make the most and best out of what we have.” Since we have already
used up half of our country’s supply of resources, Berry implies multiple times what needs to be
done in order to reserve all that we have left. and it really gets you thinking how you yourself
are making an impact on this current issue in the world. Americans need to begin realizing that
now is not the time to be wasteful and greedy, due to the continuing increase of gas prices and
how our everyday activities have a heavy impact on the global warming phenomenon. To many
readers Berry's argument may seem harsh, yet it is also extremely rational. It's importantHe
challenges his readers to recognize to take into consideration that we were only blessed with one
world, and this idea of an unlimited society is only make believe. Americans must begin to
modify their selfish and wasteful ways, if they have any hopes of the near future. His approach in
the article is to criticize Americans for their irresponsible actions by illustrating the
Comment [GSC6]: These sentences needed to be added in order to give the paragraph more length by providing quotes from the author and by providing the importance of why the reader should consider the authors point of view.
Comment [GSC7]: The concluding sentence lacked detail and needed more depth to keep the reader interested.
Comment [GSC8]: These sentences gave the paragraph more length and quotes from the author to help consider why his point of view is important.
13
consequences they will be faced with if changes are not made. Wendell Berry's argument seems
to be hopeful that Americans will take this article into perspective and help turn around the
current downward spiral of the economy.
Comment [GSC9]: The sentence gives the reader knowledge about the importance of this article.
14
Least Successful Article Response
Wastefulness vs. Reality
Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's
Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 20 Aug. 2011.
Wendell Berry, author of the article “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,” brings
into context the ongoing issue of Americans who have started to become more wasteful than ever
before. Berry’s point of view towards this issue seems to be disgusted and embarrassed of the
fact that Americans have developed this so called idea of limitlessness He states, “The dominant
response, in short, is a dogged belief that what we call the American Way of Life will prove
somehow indestructible.” This view appears to be true due to the fact that we will keep on
wasting, consuming, and spending until we have nothing left. Berry realizes that we Americans
are blinded by the fact that we are foolish with our use of resources, and have this made up belief
of limitlessness inside our heads. There are many root causes of this idea that may have first
stemmed from the Industrial Revolution when unlimited resources started to rise, or maybe it’s
our heavy reliance on the never ending increase of science and technology that has us always
wanting more. Whatever the reason, it’s relevant that Berry’s point of view is concerned about
the influence this crazy idea is having on our society, and Americans must start limiting their
limitlessness if there is any hopes of a promising future. In order to recover from this so called
“disease” of limitlessness, Berry states that “We must learn again to ask how we can make the
most of what we are, what we have, what we have been given.” Americans seem to confuse the
definition of wants and needs by turning all of our wants into dying, unnecessary needs. It's
obvious that Berry wishes to improve how irresponsible Americans have become with our
resources before we keep continuing on to a wasteful future.
15
Throughout the article, Berry’s point of view appears to be frustrated and annoyed
towards how wasteful Americans have become. It’s important to take his point of view into
consideration because if Americans don’t end this idea of limitlessness very soon, we will
become a country with nothing left. Berry states, “Where there is no more, our choice is to make
the most and best out of what we have.” Since we have already used up half of our country’s
supply of resources, Berry implies multiple times what needs to be done in order to reserve all
that we have left. Americans need to begin realizing that now is not the time to be wasteful and
greedy, due to the continuing increase of gas prices and how our everyday activities have a
heavy impact on the global warming phenomenon. To many readers Berry's argument may seem
harsh, yet it is also extremely rational. He challenges his readers to recognize that we were only
blessed with one world, and this idea of an unlimited society is only make believe. Americans
must begin to modify their selfish and wasteful ways, if they have any hopes of the near future.
His approach in the article is to criticize Americans for their irresponsible actions by illustrating
the consequences they will be faced with if changes are not made. Wendell Berry's argument
seems to be hopeful that Americans will take this article into perspective and help turn around
the current downward spiral of the economy.
16
Formatted: Centered
Most Successful Article Response
Baby Doomers
Kinsley, Michael. "The Least We Can Do." The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, October
2010. Web. 9 September 2011.
In Michael Kinsley's article, "The Least We Can Do"Throughout the article, the author he
introduces the ongoing issue on what the famous Baby Boomers generation hasve and hasve yet
to offer to our current and future society. Michael Kinsley's point of view towards the Boomers
is nothing but anger and disappointment. He mentions that this generation is viewed as a "self-
absorbed, self-indulgent and just plain selfish culture." The Boomers, being children of the so
called "Greatest Generation" may have a lot to live up to; due to the fact that their parents dealt
with the Great Depression, World War II, and overcame Communism. It seems a little
contradictory to have come from such successful parents, to end up being a complete failure of a
generation. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the enormous,
endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current never ending
War with Iraq. It's clear that the author cannot bear to watch this new generation become such
failures any longer. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the
enormous, endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current
never ending War with Iraq. When Kinsley mentions, "Iin the world that Boomers will pass
along to their children, America is widely held in contempt, prosperity looks to more and more
people like a mirage, and things are generally going to hell" he seems to show deep concern for
what Boomers are leaving behind for future generations to come. It's relevant that he is worried
about what impression the effortless Boomers are having on todaystoday’s society, as well as the
approaching generations. He also mentions how frightening it is that they have come to realized
Formatted
Comment [GSC1]: Including the title of the article was just needed to add length to the paragraph and not needed.
Comment [GSC2]: Needed to be included instead of having the paragraph lead off task.
Comment [GSC3]: This sentence flowed better by being placed here.
17
Formatted: Centered
all of the problems that they have're beening faced with and have still continued to let everything
fall apart. He makes the reader recognize that at some point the pieces need to be picked up off
the ground, and the Boomers need to take responsibility for their effortless actions. Kinsley's
point of view shows that all he wants is for the Baby Boom generation to prove themselves, and
rid the "failed" impression that they have earned themselves.
When taking into consideration the point of view that Kinsley portrays in this article,
many, if not all Baby Boomers may feel extremely insulted. The irony of his degrading thoughts
towards the quote on quote "failed" generation is that he in fact is a Boomer himself. The issue
with this is that he seems to be ridiculing his own generation. Although some readers may think
to themselves "how would a middle-class, average American be able to solve this problem?" but
that's not the impression Kinsley is trying to put on people. It may seem unfair to place all the
blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but the lack of
effort that they have shown to turn things around is very It'sslim. It’s important to take into
consideration the point of view of the author, because if the Baby Boom generation continues to
fail in society, then it will be a domino effect for generations to come. It may seem unfair to
place all the blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but
the lack of effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim. It's clear that Kinsley is
embarrassed and wants to redeem what little the Boomers have accomplished throughout the
years before things start adding up. This is important for the numerous generations approaching,
our economy, and everyone living in it. Kinsley's article really challenges what can be done to
save the Boomers from such a horrible past, and look positively into the future. His approach for
this article was for Baby Boomers to feel criticized and realize their lack of efforts in hopes of
becoming more of a successful generation in the future. .
Comment [GSC4]: Tense was misused.
Comment [GSC5]: This sentence gave more reasoning for the point of view of the author.
Comment [GSC6]: This sentence had better placement here, and flowed more with the previous sentence than where it was placed before.
Comment [GSC7]: The conclusion needed more depth and detail to leave the reader with a lasting impression.
18
Most Successful Article Response
Baby Doomers
Kinsley, Michael. "The Least We Can Do." The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, October
2010. Web. 9 September 2011.
In Michael Kinsley's article, "The Least We Can Do" Throughout the article, the author
he introduces the ongoing issue on what the famous Baby Boomers generation has and has yet to
offer to our current and future society. Michael Kinsley's point of view towards the Boomers is
nothing but anger and disappointment. He mentions that this generation is viewed as a "self-
absorbed, self-indulgent and just plain selfish culture." The Boomers, being children of the so
called "Greatest Generation" may have a lot to live up to; due to the fact that their parents dealt
with the Great Depression, World War II, and overcame Communism. It seems a little
contradictory to have come from such successful parents, to end up being a complete failure of a
generation. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the enormous,
endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current never ending
War with Iraq. It's clear that the author cannot bear to watch this new generation become such
failures any longer. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the
enormous, endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current
never ending War with Iraq. When Kinsley mentions, "In the world that Boomers will pass along
to their children, America is widely held in contempt, prosperity looks to more and more people
like a mirage, and things are generally going to hell" he seems to show deep concern for what
Boomers are leaving behind for future generations to come. It's relevant that he is worried about
what impression the effortless Boomers are having on today’s society, as well as the approaching
generations. He also mentions how frightening it is that they have come to realize all of the
19
problems that they have' been faced with and have still continued to let everything fall apart. He
makes the reader recognize that at some point the pieces need to be picked up off the ground, and
the Boomers need to take responsibility for their effortless actions. Kinsley's point of view
shows that all he wants is for the Baby Boom generation to prove themselves, and rid the "failed"
impression that they have earned themselves.
When taking into consideration the point of view that Kinsley portrays in this article,
many, if not all Baby Boomers may feel extremely insulted. The irony of his degrading thoughts
towards the quote on quote "failed" generation is that he in fact is a Boomer himself. The issue
with this is that he seems to be ridiculing his own generation. Although some readers may think
to themselves "how would a middle-class, average American be able to solve this problem?" but
that's not the impression Kinsley is trying to put on people. It may seem unfair to place all the
blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but the lack of
effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim. It’s important to take into
consideration the point of view of the author, because if the Baby Boom generation continues to
fail in society, then it will be a domino effect for generations to come. It may seem unfair to
place all the blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but
the lack of effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim. It's clear that Kinsley is
embarrassed and wants to redeem what little the Boomers have accomplished throughout the
years before things start adding up. This is important for the numerous generations approaching,
our economy, and everyone living in it. Kinsley's article really challenges what can be done to
save the Boomers from such a horrible past, and look positively into the future. His approach for
this article was for Baby Boomers to feel criticized and realize their lack of efforts in hopes of
becoming more of a successful generation in the future. .
Fruit
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Natalie Fruit
Professor Horton
English 1101
28 September 2011
The Disease That Always Wins: Cuts Aa Life Short
Throughout the world, many people have experienced theThe sudden and unexpected news of
learning a loved one or close friend has been diagnosed with cancer, and while sadly, nothing can be
done to repair the damage that’s already been made; this may lead to feelings of helplessness and
guilt. seems to have become a reoccurring theme in millions of families’ households every year. “It
takes courage-not serenity-to accept what can’t be changed when that is the imminence of death. That
much was already clear. Battlers against cancer are always called brave, as though non-fighters
aren’t.” In the article “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped” by Ann Hulbert, she reflects back to what
she was not able to change when her eighty-year-old mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. The
news was heartbreaking for her family, but her mother seemed to be the least bit concerned with
learning her life would soon be simplified to just a few months. Although the option of chemotherapy
and radiation were available, she refused to accept any help from the doctors. She didn’t see the need
in racking up immense medical bills for someone thatwhen she was only guaranteed less than a year
to live. Ann and her family realized that arguing their dying mothers wants was unnecessaryrisky,
instead fulfilling her wishes was the best they could do to satisfy her. As each day passed, the feeling
of helplessness arose while she watched her mother desperately want to let go. It appeared that the
pain was unbearable and the struggle to fight for hera life was slowly coming to an end. After a long
six months after being diagnosed, her mother who willingly fought the battle of cancercancer sadly
lost.
Formatted
Comment [GSC1]: Thetopicsentenceofthisparagraphneededmoredepththatitwaslacking.
Fruit
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Formatted: Centered
As I read this articletook this article into consideration, it brought back memoriesflashbacks of a
friend from high school named Amanda Riley, who was diagnosed with cancer during our sophomore
year. Ever since I met her in elementary school, she had always been active in sports and especially
known for her amazing basketball talents. Amanda was also well known for her outgoing personality,
kindness, and beauty. I can remember sitting at lunch during sophomore year and hearing the news
that Amanda had been diagnosed with the awful terrifying disease of cancer, although at that time I
did not realize the extent of it all. Doctors classified her cancer as rhabdomyosarcoma after they
found a tumor in her bladder and pelvic area, which then lead to the lungs and bones. The chances of
her surviving were only about 30%, but Amanda was not about to give up. Although the numerous
treatments of chemo and radiation would take up to several months to help cure Amanda, she was
willing to fight as hard as she could against this disease. In between hospital visits and weeks of bed
rest, Amanda used all thenever stopped the efforts of effort she could to attending school and church
as often as she could.Her everlasting courage had an enormous influence over everyone that knew of
her Her courage and strength influenced not just the graduating class of 2011, leading but the entire
school to come together and begian to create fundraisers, charity events, and anything we that could
to help Amanda and her family. As the long months of struggle to fight slowly reduced to a matter of
days, Amanda’s battle with cancer had come to a devastating end.ended. While I sat at her funeral
with hundreds of my classmates, I had emotions of helplessness and anger, wondering why all thedo
bad things happen to good people?people. Although Amanda may not have won the fight with cancer,
but she will ’ll always be a winner to us no matter what.
Given just a 30%thirty percent chance of survival, Amanda was not going to let that stop her
from fighting. Beginning in March of 2009, she started her first rounds of several months of
treatment. Lasting almost forty-two weeks, she encountered fourteen rounds of chemo, thirty rounds
Comment [GSC2]: Structuringthissentencecorrectlygivesbetterdetail.
Fruit
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22
Formatted: Centered
of radiation, and multiple blood transfusions. Almost a year later in January of 2010, the doctors
declared that she was cancer free, but also mentioned it still had a 70% chance of returning and it
would be nearly fatal. The news brought Amanda’s family mixed emotions of happiness, hope, and
fear all at once. In just a few short weeks, Amanda found herself back in the hospital after having
extreme pains throughout her body. Her parent’s worst fear seemed to be coming true, again. Back at
what nearly seemed like theirto be nothing short of their second home, doctors found that a tumor had
traveled to her spinal cord. With efforts of surgery to remove it and another twenty-five rounds of
radiation, Amanda and her family could only hope and pray for a positive outcome. Unfortunately,
the doctors delivered news that they were not anticipating to hear. The cancer had continued to spread
throughout her entire spinal cord, eventually leading to and covering her entire brain. Feeling
powerless as they watched their own daughter struggle for her life, her parents rested all their faith in
the Lord to do the right thing. Although However, it seemed that as hard aseven with as hard as
Amanda fought, the cancer would was ultimately going to be the winner of this never-ending battle.
While mMost teenagers dread goingstruggle with having to go to school or church, but
Amanda didn’t take anything for granted and made every effort possible to attend both while in and
out of many treatments.Amanda was determined not to be like other cancer patients who seem to
treat cancer as a major setback in their life; while she continued to treat it as a little scab in hopes of it
to heal. It was She important for her towas not allow going to allow cancer to stop her from doing
anything she wanted to do. She sat right behind me in my guided study class of junior year and by
then she was wearing a wig, but she definitely rocked it. It was always nice to see her when she had
her random spurts of coming to class. I’m sad to say I lost touch with her after middle school, and our
conversations seemed to be very vague during class. Instead of just being friendly enough to talk to
her, I seemed to be intimidated by her bravery and strength, but also scared she may have thought I
Comment [GSC3]: Thissentenceneededmorestructuretobecomemoresuccessfulofatopicsentence.
Comment [GSC4]: Addingthissentencegavetheparagraphmoredetailandunderstandingofthetopicsentence.
Fruit
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Formatted: Centered
was judging her by having wandering eyes. As we all found out the news of her disease, her support
team throughout our entire high school became truly inspiring to be apart of. When Amanda was first
diagnosed, one of her best guy friends created an entire fundraising event where people could
purchase baked goods, t-shirts and other items where all profits went towards Amanda’s family. Also,
guys and girls were able to pay to get their haircut, and donate to Locks of Love. Even though
Amanda had just started treatment and was fresh out of the hospital, she still made it a point to attend
this special event that was made just for her. It was heartbreaking to watch her in apale, weak body be
pushed in a wheel chair wearing her and hospital gown, but she still kept that huge smile on her face
as she watched her dad and basketball coach get their buzz cuts. As I looked around at many of my
classmates with new haircuts, I started to think if the sickness of another student was the only way for
all of us to come together. At the time we didn’t realize how high the chances were of uswe could
possibly be losing a classmate, but every time that I was able to watch her be healthy enough to walk
into class, I was definitely reassurreassured of the facting that she was thankfully still with us.
Pain and weakness was never going to be an obstacle for Amanda and she would fight until the
very end. The long days of chemo and radiation lasting weeks at a time eventually took its toll on
Amanda’s struggling body. She soon started to realize that she wouldas no longer be able to fight the
struggle for her life that had been going on for since the past year. With multiple visits to and from
the hospital, Amanda made her very last on March 27th. Even though she was given only a
70%seventy percent chance to live, she gave it 100%a hundred percent to fight against that small
chance. After entering the hospital, it became aware to her family and friends that the battle was
quickly coming going to be coming to an end. On April 9th, Amanda gave her brittle body a rest,
took her last breathes in this world, and went with Jesus to her brand new home. Cancer may have
won this horrifying fight, but Amanda won in the fact that she is finally relieved of pain and sickness.
Comment [GSC5]: Insertingthissentencehelpedgomoreintodetailaboutthecertainsituationpresentedinthesentencebefore.Insteadofjumpingtoanothertopicandleadingthereadtobecomeconfusedwithsentencetransitions.
Comment [GSC6]: Addingmoredescriptiveadjectivesprovidesmoredetailaboutthesituation.
Comment [GSC7]: Changingnumberstowrittenoutwordsismorematureinanessay.
Comment [GSC8]: Justifyingthissentencehelpsthereaderfeelmoreinvolvedintheissue,feelingmoreconnectedwithwhatwasbeingpresented.
Fruit
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Formatted: Centered
Sadness and anger filled the hospital room as Amanda took her last breath, but in the end no one
enjoys watching a loved one struggle for their life. Finding out that Amanda had lost her life with
cancer was very upsetting, and I wish that such awful things did not happen to the best of people.
That is one thing concept that I will never fully understand, but everything does happen for a reason..
As we threw our caps up into the air, I I wished that Amandashe could havvee been to receive her
diploma along with the rest of us at apart of our graduation day, but I know she was turning her tassel
up in Heaven with us. Amanda left an everlasting impact on so many people, and it was difficult to
see such an amazing girl leave us. However iIn the end, she was the strongesta fighter I know and no
matter what the outcome, a cancer wasn’t the winner of that battle, Amanda was. no matter the
outcome.
Sitting through her funeral, I wanted to be angry and disappointed to the fact that this had to
happen to such an awesome person, and why not the mean kids who beat up people in school
bathrooms or steal kids lunch money?? As I grow up, I’ve realized not to take life for granted and
never sweat the small stuff. Whether you’re an 80 year old with cancer ready to pull the plug, or a 17
year old fighting to survive, never give up on a beautiful thing that we’ve all been given called life.
She may not have been able to fulfill her dreams of going to the University of Georgia and becoming
a third grade teacher like she wanted, but she’s left with a much larger impact than that. It’s a
reassuring factor that I know she’ll be teaching little third grade children up in Heaven, because this
may not be the future she always expected, but this is exactly where God wanted her to be. Amanda
never seemed angered towards her disease, and during the service her mom quoted her saying “He
picked me to get cancer because I’m strong enough to handle it.” Although no one understands why
cancer occurs, it’s inspiring that she was accepting of her disease and treated it as a minor cold than a
life threatening illness. CancerCancer may have taken Amanda from her family and friends, but she
Comment [GSC9]: Thissentencewasimportanttomodifybecauseoftheemotionputintowhatisbeingsaid.
Comment [GSC10]: Thesentenceneededtobeaddedtogivemoreinsightonthesituation,andmoredepthtohelpthereaderconnect.
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Formatted: Centered
left us with her courage and strength that she fought so hard with. I think about her from time to time,
wishing she could experience college life with us and ,seeing how much of a baller she would have
been, but everything happens for a reason whether we are willing to accept it or not.
Fruit
26
26
Formatted: Centered
Works Cited
Hulbert, Ann. “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped.” The American Scholar. Phi Beta Kappa,
December 2011. Web. 25 September 2011.
27
Natalie Fruit
Professor Horton
English 1101
28 September 2011
The Disease That Always Wins: Cuts a Life Short
Throughout the world, many people have experienced the sudden and unexpected news
of learning a loved one or close friend has been diagnosed with cancer, and while sadly, nothing
can be done to repair the damage that’s already been made; this may lead to feelings of
helplessness and guilt. “It takes courage-not serenity-to accept what can’t be changed when that
is the imminence of death. That much was already clear. Battlers against cancer are always
called brave, as though non-fighters aren’t.” In the article “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped”
by Ann Hulbert, she reflects back to what she was not able to change when her eighty-year-old
mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. The news was heartbreaking for her family, but her
mother seemed to be the least bit concerned with learning her life would soon be simplified to
just a few months. Although the option of chemotherapy and radiation were available, she
refused to accept any help from the doctors. She didn’t see the need in racking up immense
medical bills for someone when she was only guaranteed less than a year to live. Ann and her
family realized that arguing their dying mothers wants was unnecessary, instead fulfilling her
wishes was the best they could do to satisfy her. As each day passed, the feeling of helplessness
arose while she watched her mother desperately want to let go. It appeared that the pain was
unbearable and the struggle to fight for her life was slowly coming to an end. After a long six
months after being diagnosed, her mother who willingly fought the battle of cancer sadly lost.
28
As I read this took this article into consideration, it brought back memories of a friend
from high school named Amanda Riley, who was diagnosed with cancer during our sophomore
year. Ever since I met her in elementary school, she had always been active in sports and
especially known for her amazing basketball talents. Amanda was also well known for her
outgoing personality, kindness, and beauty. I can remember sitting at lunch during sophomore
year and hearing the news that Amanda had been diagnosed with the awful terrifying disease of
cancer, although at that time I did not realize the extent of it all. Doctors classified her cancer as
rhabdomyosarcoma after they found a tumor in her bladder and pelvic area, which then lead to
the lungs and bones. The chances of her surviving were only about thirty percent, but Amanda
was not about to give up. Although the numerous treatments of chemo and radiation would take
up to several months to help cure Amanda, she was willing to fight as hard as she could against
this disease. In between hospital visits and weeks of bed rest, Amanda never stopped using all
the effort she could to attend school and church as often as she could. Her everlasting courage
had an enormous influence over everyone that knew of her,, leading the entire school to come
together and begin to create fundraisers, charity events, and anything we that could to help
Amanda and her family . As the long months of struggle to fight slowly reduced to a matter of
days, Amanda’s battle with cancer had come to a devastating end. While I sat at her funeral with
hundreds of my classmates, I had emotions of helplessness and anger, wondering why all do the
bad things happen to good people. Although Amanda may not have won the fight with cancer,
but she will always be a winner to us no matter what.
Given just a thirty percent chance of survival, Amanda was not going to let that stop her
from fighting. Beginning in March of 2009, she started her first rounds of several months of
treatment. Lasting almost forty-two weeks, she encountered fourteen rounds of chemo, thirty
29
rounds of radiation, and multiple blood transfusions. Almost a year later in January of 2010, the
doctors declared that she was cancer free, but also mentioned it still had a seventy percent chance
of returning and it would be nearly fatal. The news brought Amanda’s family mixed emotions of
happiness, hope, and fear all at once. In just a few short weeks, Amanda found herself back in
the hospital after having extreme pains throughout her body. Her parent’s worst fear seemed to
be coming true, again. Back at what nearly seemed like to be nothing short of their second home,
doctors found that a tumor had traveled to her spinal cord. With efforts of surgery to remove it
and another twenty-five rounds of radiation, Amanda and her family could only hope and pray
for a positive outcome. Unfortunately, the doctors delivered news that they were not anticipating
to hear. The cancer had continued to spread throughout her entire spinal cord, eventually leading
to and covering her entire brain. Feeling powerless as they watched their own daughter struggle
for her life, her parents rested all their faith in the Lord to do the right thing. Although however,
it seemed that with as hard as Amanda fought, the cancer would was ultimately going to be the
winner of this never-ending battle.
While most teenagers struggle with having to go to school or church, Amanda didn’t take
anything for granted and made every effort possible to attend both while in and out of many
treatments. Amanda was determined not to be like other cancer patients who seem to treat cancer
as a major setback in their life; while she continued to treat it as a little scab in hopes of it to
heal. It was important for her to not allow cancer to stop her from doing anything she wanted to
do. She sat right behind me in my guided study class of junior year and by then she was wearing
a wig, but she definitely rocked it. It was always nice to see her when she had her random spurts
of coming to class. I’m sad to say I lost touch with her after middle school, and our conversations
seemed to be very vague during class. Instead of just being friendly enough to talk to her, I
30
seemed to be intimidated by her bravery and strength, but also scared she may have thought I
was judging her by having wandering eyes. As we all found out the news of her disease, her
support team throughout our entire high school became truly inspiring to be apart of. When
Amanda was first diagnosed, one of her best guy friends created an entire fundraising event
where people could purchase baked goods, t-shirts and other items where all profits went
towards Amanda’s family. Also, guys and girls were able to pay to get their haircut, and donate
to Locks of Love. Even though Amanda had just started treatment and was fresh out of the
hospital, she still made it a point to attend this special event that was made just for her. It was
heartbreaking to watch her in pale, weak body be pushed in a wheel chair wearing her and
hospital gown, but she still kept that huge smile on her face as she watched her dad and
basketball coach get their buzz cuts. As I looked around at many of my classmates with new
haircuts, I started to think if the sickness of another student was the only way for all of us to
come together. At the time we didn’t realize how high the chances were that we could possibly
be losing a classmate, but every time that I was able to watch her be healthy enough to walk into
class, I was definitely reassured of the fact that she was thankfully still with us.
Pain and weakness was never going to be an obstacle for Amanda and she would fight
until the very end. The long days of chemo and radiation lasting weeks at a time eventually took
its toll on Amanda’s struggling body. She soon started to realize that she would no longer be able
to fight the struggle for her life that had been going on for since the past year. With multiple
visits to and from the hospital, Amanda made her very last on March 27th. Even though she was
given only a seventy percent chance to live, she gave it a hundred percent to fight against that
small chance. After entering the hospital, it became aware to her family and friends that the
battle was quickly coming going to be coming to an end. On April 9th, Amanda gave her brittle
31
body a rest, took her last breathes in this world, and went with Jesus to her brand new home.
Cancer may have won this horrifying fight, but Amanda won in the fact that she is finally
relieved of pain and sickness. Sadness and anger filled the hospital room as Amanda took her last
breath, but in the end no one enjoys watching a loved one struggle for their life. Finding out that
Amanda had lost her life with cancer was very upsetting, and I wish that such awful things did
not happen to the best of people. That is one thing concept that I will never fully understand, but
everything does happen for a reason. As we threw our caps up into the air, I wished that Amanda
could have been there to receive her diploma along with the rest of us at our graduation day, but I
know she was turning her tassel up in Heaven with us. Amanda left an everlasting impact on so
many people, and it was difficult to see such an amazing girl leave us. However in the end, she
was the strongest fighter I know and no matter what the outcome, cancer wasn’t the winner of
that battle, Amanda was.
Sitting through her funeral, I wanted to be angry and disappointed to the fact that this had
to happen to such an awesome person, and why not the mean kids who beat up people in school
bathrooms or steal kids lunch money? As I grow up, I’ve realized not to take life for granted and
never sweat the small stuff. Whether you’re an eighty year old with cancer ready to pull the plug,
or a seventeen year old fighting to survive, never give up on a beautiful thing that we’ve all been
given called life. She may not have been able to fulfill her dreams of going to the University of
Georgia and becoming a third grade teacher like she wanted, but she’s left with a much larger
impact than that. It’s a reassuring factor that I know she’ll be teaching little third grade children
up in Heaven, because this may not be the future she always expected, but this is exactly where
God wanted her to be. Amanda never seemed angered towards her disease, and during the
service her mom quoted her saying “He picked me to get cancer because I’m strong enough to
32
handle it.” Although no one understands why cancer occurs, it’s inspiring that she was accepting
of her disease and treated it as a minor cold than a life threatening illness. Cancer may have
taken Amanda from her family and friends, but she left us with her courage and strength that she
fought so hard with. I think about her from time to time, wishing she could experience college
life with us and, seeing how much of a baller she would have been, but everything happens for a
reason whether we are willing to accept it or not.
Works Cited
Hulbert, Ann. “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped.” The American Scholar. Phi Beta Kappa,
December 2011. Web. 25 September 2011.