More great new writers! Kelly McLachlan John Bladen & Alison Wynne- Ryder Plus! Malcolm Palmer Sandra Piddock Mandy Tams Dave Bull FREE The Quirky Medium Joins AA! for the locals...by the locals..! Find the BEST websites for expat info! AVOID DELAYS SENDING & RECEIVING MAIL OFFICE: C/San Luis 2, 03187 Los Montesinos Alicante Tel. 966 720 959 Visit our website: www.easypost.es Email: [email protected]GOT AN ACCOUNT? • COST effective postal & courier services • NO language barrier - we speak your language • NO queueing • FULL worldwide postal & courier service • DISCOUNTS for bulk mail (50 letters or more) Try us! SAVE MONEY! All parcels delivered within 48 hours NO DELAYS! Tracking Service FINAL document check prior to sending DAILY service to the Passport office in Belfast. The No. 1 Choice for Expats! Renew your British passport www.allabroad.es May 2015 issue number 46 The Balearic Marinero has something to say! Cover: Alicante Old Quarter AVOID DELAYS SENDING & RECEIVING MAIL OFFICE: C/San Luis 2, 03187 Los Montesinos Alicante Tel. 966 720 959 Visit our website: www.easypost.es Email: [email protected]GOT AN ACCOUNT? • COST effective postal & courier services • NO language barrier - we speak your language • NO queueing • FULL worldwide postal & courier service • DISCOUNTS for bulk mail (50 letters or more) Try us! SAVE MONEY! All parcels delivered within 48 hours NO DELAYS! Tracking Service FINAL document check prior to sending DAILY service to the Passport office in Belfast. The No. 1 Choice for Expats! Renew your British passport WE NEED YOU! Sales staff required For all areas (Costa Blanca) Tel. 606 540 408 (Great commission rates!) Lebanese & International Cuisine A World of Flavours 5 COURSES LEBANESE MENU for 2 people 19,95€ including dessert & 1 drink served all day (from 12 o'clock) Avda. Escandinavia, 72 - Urb. Altomar 2 GRAN ALACANT Tel. 96 669 9553 LIVE Entertainment OPEN - Every Day from 11.00am www.currencies4you.es • Expert advice • Simple process Talk to our friendly team!
Transcript
More great new writers!Kelly McLachlanJohn Bladen& Alison Wynne-RyderPlus!Malcolm PalmerSandra PiddockMandy TamsDave Bull
FREE
The Quirky MediumJoins AA!
for the locals...by the locals..!
Find the BEST websites for expat info!
AVOID DELAYS SENDING & RECEIVING
MAIL
OFFICE: C/San Luis 2, 03187 Los Montesinos AlicanteTel. 966 720 959 Visit our website: www.easypost.es
CRUISES 2015 / BOOK YOUR CRUISE JUST FOR 50€ALL CRUISES INCLUDED TRANSPORT & PORT TAXES
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VEHICLES UP TO 55 PLACES AVAILABLE
Open from 4.00pm til late Tuesday to Friday and from 10.00am at the weekends til late
Sunday lunch is a local favourite and you can have a choice of meats from chicken, lamb, beef or pork all at a very reason-able 8€ for 1 course, 11€ for 2 and 13€ for the full 3 courses not forgetting your homemade apple and berry pie.
children’s menu, high
chairs and baby changing
facilities too.
Football or any other sport you fancy – this is the place. Brothers has one very large, crystal clear screen for your viewing pleasure
Thatchers Gold and Peroni 3€ a pop
Carlsberg 2€ and a glass of wine for 2€!
Wednesday nights are poker nights, darts practise with some free food is on a Thursday and with karaoke and live music on at the weekends, what more could you possibly want.
If you haven’t already...
it’s time you discovered...
CARABASI CANTRE- GRAN ALACANTat the...
www.facebook.com/Brothers.Telephone: 0044 7863178870 - Ave Noruega 214 Gran Alacant 03130
SPORTS!MUSIC!GREAT FOOD!
SPORTS!MUSIC!GREAT FOOD!
4
Open from 4.00pm til late Tuesday to Friday and from 10.00am at the weekends til late
Sunday lunch is a local favourite and you can have a choice of meats from chicken, lamb, beef or pork all at a very reason-able 8€ for 1 course, 11€ for 2 and 13€ for the full 3 courses not forgetting your homemade apple and berry pie.
children’s menu, high
chairs and baby changing
facilities too.
Football or any other sport you fancy – this is the place. Brothers has one very large, crystal clear screen for your viewing pleasure
Thatchers Gold and Peroni 3€ a pop
Carlsberg 2€ and a glass of wine for 2€!
Wednesday nights are poker nights, darts practise with some free food is on a Thursday and with karaoke and live music on at the weekends, what more could you possibly want.
If you haven’t already...
it’s time you discovered...
CARABASI CANTRE- GRAN ALACANTat the...
www.facebook.com/Brothers.Telephone: 0044 7863178870 - Ave Noruega 214 Gran Alacant 03130
SPORTS!MUSIC!GREAT FOOD!
SPORTS!MUSIC!GREAT FOOD!
5
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Calle Los Arcos (Ciudad Quesada)(Next to Yorkshire Linen)
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kelly, British born expat of 12 years and loving living near the sea. I was brought up by the Channel on the south coast of England and I´m so blessed to be living here on the Costa with the beach literally at the end of the street!
I arrived here with the intention of working one season, back in 2003, but as life would have it, I met a man, got myself married and stayed. I’m now mum to two young bilingual daughters.
I´ve always fancied myself as a bit of a writer, and completed a course in Free-lance Journalism at the age of 18. Back in the day when it was all done on my old word processor, sent off by post and con-tact with the tutor was over the phone. Landline phone. Seems like a lifetime ago now, with all this technology...complete-ly different to the TEFL English teaching qualification, which was done totally on-line.
I also wrote a novel in 2001. It was just a bit of fun, really, based on the diaries of myself and a couple of mates for a year. But I was encouraged to send it to pub-lishers, which I did, but, unfortunately it wasn’t published. Maybe we weren’t wild enough. That’s one for the bucket list!
I have experience of living on an ‘expat’ urbanisation and in a Spanish speaking community, so I´ll be chatting about life as an expat and things we can all relate to. I hope you enjoy my ramblings!
Kelly’s off to England!Well, I’ve just taken some time out from packing my bags, made myself a cuppa and sat down to mentally prepare myself for my upcoming trip to the Homeland. With little people. The boarding passes have been printed, undies and pyjamas are packed, passports have been locat-ed, camera has been charged. Well, it’s a start...?
I have been invited to the wedding of one of my best friends. Exciting times, but, looking in the wardrobe earlier it actual-ly dawned on me that I have absolutely nothing to wear. Well, not to a wedding, anyway. So, my other pal has offered to lend me a dress. But, the thing is, where she has dropped a few dress sizes, I seem to have gained them!
She’s talking about make up, heels, the works. We won’t even mention my hair...thankfully Mother’s a hairdresser, so she may be able to save me from turning up at the church looking like Krusty the Clown (hopefully....)
It will all be done and dusted by the time this goes to print, I’ll be back on the Costa needing another holiday to chill out (trying to fit everybody in is always a task) and full of fresh UK gossip to share. Fingers crossed the little ones behave themselves for the grandfolks while mummy’s out par-tying...!
Oh, and the forecast for the big day? Rain. Ah, well, at least I’ll have my fabulous Un-ion Jack umbrella...and my Union Jack handbag, purse, keyring...
Read more athttps://www.facebook.com/kelly-blog
Until next time!
Kelly McLachlan
Notes from small town Spain
6
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Moving to Spain is a great lifestyle choice, but no matter how well you prepare for the move, there are going to be times when you need help, and where do you go then? Cer-tainly not to the Bar Stool Experts, who nev-er let the truth get in the way of what they consider to be good advice. Help is at hand on the Internet though – these websites all carry information from real insiders who live in Spain and know the answers to your ques-tions. No Regurgitated Guide Book stuff here – just informed local and national knowledge, and some good reads into the bargain.
Insiders AbroadLaunched in 2011, Insiders Abroad has sepa-rate websites for Spain, France and Italy. Each site has local guides, a classified sec-tion, a forum and blogs in several categories, including expat, student and tourist. The site also produces a quarterly online magazine, which often has a particular theme. Recent issues have dealt with Spain off the beaten track and weddings in Spain.All Insider Abroad’s bloggers actually live in Spain – some of them have been here for many years – and they have lots of local knowledge which they pass on in their posts. There’s a regular ‘Top 3 Tips’ feature, where Insiders – as the bloggers are called – share their favourite restaurants, foods and places, as well as offering tips for new expats and travellers in Spain. If you want to know about Spain, you’ll find everything you need at In-siders Abroad.http://www.insidersabroad.com/
This is SpainThis is Spain is one of the most respected and well established expat sites in Spain. Started by Steve Hall 12 years ago, it covers every aspect of life in Spain, from property sales and rentals and the moving process through education and healthcare to funeral planning. The content is provided by Steve and trusted writers and businesses, and if you can’t find what you need to know on This is Spain, you probably don’t need to know it anyway.Steve’s latest project is a 90 day virtual tour of Spain, with information on the big cities and the tiny pueblos, written by the people who live there and know all the important local stuff the guide books never bother to print. New pages are added on an almost dai-ly basis, so there’s always something new to discover. For more specialised local informa-tion, check out sister sites This is Fuengirola and This is Benidorm.http://thisisspain.info/
Spain BuddySet up in 2012 by business and life partners Alan Gandy and Elle Draper, Spain Buddy is one of those sites you can happily spend all day browsing. Alan and Elle don’t take life too seriously – which is evident throughout the site – but they are pure professionals when it comes to communicating what you need to know about life in Spain. There’s a weekly round-up of news from all areas of Spain, as well as regular featured expat interviews and a great Spanish cooking section. Elle test drives all the recipes before publishing them, and every single one is quick and simple to make, as well as delicious.There’s all the other stuff you need to know about everyday life in Spain too – all deliv-ered in the inimitable Gandy-Draper style. Spain Buddy’s strap line is ‘Enjoy the best of Spain,’ and if you bookmark this site, you certainly will!http://www.spainbuddy.com/
Sandra in SpainThis is the newest of the Sites on Spain re-viewed here, having launched in October 2014, but site owner Sandra Piddock has already built up an impressive following, and was awarded the Spain Buddy Blog of the Month Award in December. Sandra is a freelance writer and blogger based in Algorfa on the Costa Blanca, and one section of the website is aimed at publicising the village and what goes on there, and getting the word out about reliable local businesses.The blog has sections on food and drink in Spain, including restaurant reviews, laughs with the language, quirky goings on in Spain, and living in Spain on a fixed budget. In the Writers On Spain section, Sandra introduces some of her favourite fellow writers, and there’s also a section on Spanish celebrations and fiestas, with guidelines on how to behave so you don’t offend the locals. Sandra doesn’t take anything – including herself – too seri-ously, and this comes through in her often irreverent but also informative posts. http://www.sandrainspain.com/
The websites reviewed here are all owned and operated by people who know about living in Spain. Between them, they have dealt with all the problems new expats face. Do yourself a favour and save yourself a lot of hassle – walk straight past the Bar Stool Experts and log on to one or more of these Sites on Spain.
SITES ON SPAIN Where to get real information for expats
mark and arrived back within the 4 hour
mark which was a great result over this
tough terrain. Most of the participants took
approx 5 hours and everyone finished by
going through a tunnel right into the Velo-
drome where everyone did a lap of honour
before proceding to collect a lovely com-
memorative trophy which was in the shape
of the profiles of the hills they were also
engraved with our names and times which
was brilliant .At the finish everyone was
treated to free beer, soft drinks and Paella
which was a great way to wind down there
were also free masseurs for anyone wish-
ing a massage.
The Team are pictured on their bikes just
before the start and are from left to right
: Alan Quearns, Kelvin Howard, Malcky
Murray, Gary routledge, Graham Kinghorn,
Martyn Stone, Richard Binns, Tony Nolan,
Owen Desmond and Peter Cunningham.
All of the Team had an excellent day’s cy-
cling and are looking forward to their next
Sportif in June, Tour del Juguette, Costa
Blanca and are also planning to return to
San Vicente next year. The team would
also like to thank all their sponsors for their
continued support, Sol-4 investment con-
sulting, Expat pensions and investments,
Arrow rent a car, Shenanigans bar, Span-
ish insurance, Securidan, Pulse core fitness
and Ambience fires and solar.
Team “Cyclogical” meet every Thurs-
day night at 5.30pm and Sunday
mornings at 8am and cover between
90 and 120kms at a moderate to fast
pace so if you fancy a challenge come
along and join us. Looking to improve
your fitness, riding ability and speed
and also have a new group of friends
to train with then why not come
along and give it a try or call Gary on
637487377.
On Saturday 25th April 2015, ten
members of Team “Cyclogical” based
in Quesada travelled to Ciudad San
Vicente de Raspeig just outside Ali-
cante to participate in The Cicloturis-
ta Velo Sport Marcha. The team left
from “Cyclogicals” shop in Quesada at
6.00am and travelled in convoy along
the AP7 arriving at the Velodrome in
san Vicente at 7pm where they went
straight to the registration tent to col-
lect their race numbers and goodie
bag and then the restaurant for coffee
and tostada to start the day.
The race was well organised and started
on time at 8.30am with a mass start and
no pace car which was brilliant the group
soon thinned out as many of us left the
town at very fast speeds as all junctions
etc were controlled by the police with all
vehicles stopped until we had all passed.
The course covered a total distance of
138kms with 2500 metres of climbing
involved which included 4 pretty steep
climbs these were Puerto de Tibi which was
a 15.5km climb right at the start ramping
up to 24% in stages, Puerto de Ibi , Puerto
de Canalis and Puerto de Biar, there were
quite a few 12 ,15 and 18% climbs which
sorted everyone out.
There were 400 riders participating on this
route and it was not long before there were
many splinter group’s but everyone just
found their own pace and got on with it.
The first groups of riders were very quick
and it was not long before they made their
CYCLING tips advice routes
by Gary Routledgewww.cyclogicalcostablanca.com
“Get on yer bike!”“Get on yer bike!”Marcha Cicloturista,
Open Mon-Fri 09.30-17.30 Sat: 10.00-14.00Call Gary or Lynn: 637 487 377www.cyclogicalcostablanca.com
Calle Los Arcos, 7 QUESADA
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Salus, established since 1961, the company offers comprehensive plans for people of all ages with premiums starting at just 30 euros a month for a complete medical insurance plan, with discounts available for family members. For this cost, you will have access to prestigious and professional doctors and medical centres with the most advanced means of diagnosis and treatment. Salus offers personal and sympathetic treatment, they study each individual case to offer a service that adjusts to their client´s needs.
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BAYA BAIXA beautifully restored Spanish country home. 250m² with 4 bed, 2 bath on 7,300+m² of land with pool, orchard. Close to beach and airport, more. €360,000. AA6240
GRAN ALACANT new construction townhouses with modern high end finish-es. 2 beds, 2 baths with mezzanine and 25 m2 of garden. €95,000. AA7480 Other layouts available.
LAS BAYAS lovely 3 bed, 2 bath country house minutes from Elche, beach-es and airport. Set among beautifully landscaped gardens with pool, more. €265,000. AA6135
GRAN ALACANT 3 bed 2 bath house in Novamar. BEACHFRONT Stunning views of the Med. Garage parking, inverter aircon, security bars and more. €249,950. AA5950
GRAN ALACANT luxury 3 bed villa with garage and private swimming pool. Ex-clusive Isla de Izaro gated community. Fully furnished with many extras. €360,000 €325,000. AA6118
GRAN ALACANT 3 bed, 2 bath house on popular gat-ed community of Med III with 2 pools, children’s play area, tennis court and private covered allocated parking. €176,500. AA5923
ALICANTE Exceptional 5 bed, 4 bath villa on Playa Albufereta in Alicante. Amazing sea views. 250 m2 house on 2000 m2 of gar-den with private pool. €3,250,000. AA7124
GRAN ALACANT 2 bed, 1.5 bath townhouse (82 m2)walking distance to the beach and amenities. Com-munal pool and gardens. KEY READY. Price includes a car. €92,000. AA7492
GRAN ALACANT walk to the beach! 3 bed, 2 bath house in gated community of Costa Hispania III. Communal pool, gardens, allocated parking, more. €141,000. AA5657
MONTECID spacious 5 bed, 4 bath villa with large pool and bar perfect for entertaining. Move in ready! Fully furnished with security bars, aircon, many extras. €285,000. AA1105
GRAN ALACANT jaw dropping views of the Med from this bright and airy 2 bed, 2 bath house. Guest apartment in basement. Private pool, garage, much more. €395,000. AA6499
GRAN ALACANT 3 bed townhouse in Altomar I. Communal pool and gar-dens. Close to post office, cafes, more. Views of can-yon and sea views from solarium €139,950. AA7459
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LET’S GO ECO!We all know a lot about how a big impact we are making to our planet, we see it every day. This month I will like to let you know a few things we could all do together to reduce this impact and some of them are really fashionable.
GURUSThe summer is almost here and I have found the perfect flip-flop to be an ECO girl. This are made of a sustainably sourced natural rubber and inspired by an ancient Indian sandal. And for every pair they sell they will plant a tree! Could they be any cooler!? Check them on www.ilove-gurus.com
REDUCE PLASTICThis is a very simple step we can all do. First of all stop using plastic bags, change them for some fabric re-usable ones that also look great and you can find them in many stores, or just make some really cute ones yourself. You could also use them for the beach, or for the ballet clothes for your daughter or your son’s football boots. Use them all the time! You could also change your toothbrush for a bamboo one, stop buying plastic Tupperware and instead buy some Mason Ball Jars (I have been doing this and my pantry look so beautiful!! ),
change paper napkins or tissues
for fabric ones.
MAKE YOUR OWN BEAUTY PRODUCTSI have been doing a lot of this lately, it reduces the plastic we throw away plus we make sure that the ingredients we use are good and natural. You can make a good deodorant just by mixing 50ml of almond oil, 1 teaspoon of baking soda and 15 drops of lavender or tea tree oil. And a soft exfoliator by mixing 2 glasses of brown sugar, 1 glass of olive oil, 2 tablespoons of honey, 1 teaspoon vitamin E and 15 drops of peppermint oil. Keep searching on the internet for more recipes, you‘ll be amazed on how much you can do and how much we can help our planet.
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Tel: 966 69 53 99
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FEEL AT HOME
Estate Agent Victoria, established
some 30 years ago, offers its
clients a top quality service,
which can only be offered by a
company exclusively devoted and
experienced in property services
with a long running track record on
the Costa Blanca property market.
Over the years, Victoria Estate
Agent has satisfied the needs
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looking after their interests not
only at the time of buying but
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service.
We offer all type of help to our clients
including the arranging of inheritance
tax when losing one of their loved
ones, making it as painless and easy as
possible. Our charges are far lower than
what one can find through other means.
Anyone who wishes to be informed
about our costs or would like a quote,
also enquire about all the other services
we have to offer, then please call at our
office in Gran Alacant at any time and
under no obligation what-so-ever.
All our staff have a good knowledge of
the English language and we also have
a German speaking member of staff.
Although the last couple of years have
not been easy for any of us, we are
optimistic that this year we shall start
to see some improvements in the
property market.
Inmobiliaria VictoriaAvda. Escandinavia, 72 C.C. Altomar II L.1003130 Gran Alacant · Santa PolaTlf. 966697779 · 966698180Fax 966697378 [email protected]
GRAN ALACANT TV is a family business with a great experience in the Telecommunications sector,which is constantly adapting to the new technologies. With more than 30 years experience, working in Santa Pola and later in Gran Alacant areas, we have won our clients´confidence
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Head officeC. C. La Campana, 1st floorC. Cartagena N-332Orihuela Costa,
Here at the Aesthetic Centre we have used our extensive experience to combine the very latest techniques with our underpinning knowledge and can offer our clients the very latest in advanced skin care both surgical and non surgical.
We still use tried and tested technology such as Laser, Intense Pulsed Light, Microdermabrasion, Medical Skin Peels, Veinwave and CACI but we can now boast of our new machines Derma-frac and Radiofrequency and our new range of skin peels INNOAESTHETICS to offer our clients the key to beautiful rejuvenated skin .
We want our clients to know that they are get-ting the very best and latest treatments that are affordable and attainable and actually work!
Dermafrac is an exciting new treatment com-bining micro needling and deep tissue infusion. The “New micro needling” treatment without the downtime.Micro needling infusion therapy is an advanced aesthetic treatment used to target many skin concerns including fines lines and wrinkles, sun damage, brown spots, darkness around the eyes, open pores, congested skin, acne scarring and dry dehydrated skin.Dermafrac uses a roller which contains 180 su-perfine needles to stimulate collagen produc-tion and cell renewal, helping to plump, firm and smooth skin. As the roller creates the micro channels in your skin the Dermafrac system si-multaneously enables the infusion of a potent serum to boost the impact of the needling treat-ment. This effectively leaves your skin with a glowing complexion.Dermafrac is the perfect treatment which has instant results with no down time and pain free.
Radiofrequency or RF energy treatment is a new
promising technology for non surgical tighten-ing of the signs of loose or sagging skin ideal for those clients who either don’t want , or don’t believe they are damaged enough to have surgi-cal procedures to resolve their skin laxity.Based on current RF techniques available, cli-ents will notice improvement in skin tightness, with minimal downtime and risks compared to surgery.The treatment is not uncomfortable and most areas of the body can be treated including neck, face , décolletage and arms.
As with all of these treatments an initial course is recommended and then a maintenance treat-ment in order to achieve the best results.
We like to describe our new range of skin peels and accompanying product range as Dynamic Cosmetology which means that we are using our InnoAesthetics products which are based on formulas designed to provide specific solu-tions to aesthetic problems. A process of rigor-ous research leads us to selecting ingredients of the latest generation and creating unbeatable combinations to improve the signs that appear on the skin with the passage of time. Our prod-ucts are developed by a multidisciplinary group that consists of doctors, aesthetic nurses, phar-macists and technical skin specialists along with the support of science and thorough research.
Here at the Aesthetic Centre you will be treated by Advanced Aestheticians who are highly quali-fied, we even have been trained Internation-ally by acclaimed Aesthetic Professors and have worked as trainers ourselves for many years, therefore our clients can be safe in our knowl-edge and skills.
Not only do we work with your skin but we look holistically at your needs and as we are also trained to an Advanced Level in Nutrition we can also help you to explore nutrition to help your skin to improve by the use of non chemical medicines.
Check out our impressive qualifications and re-member that we never charge for initial con-sultation, our only costs come when you decide that we are the professionals that can help you and you embark on our treatments.
AESTHETIC CENTRE……….skin care with technology
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CarveryTraditional
COMING SOON TOGRAN ALACANT!
In association with:Cork n Bottle&The Hole in the Wall
at The Belfry Restaurant - Plaza Mayor (MASA Square)
STAFF REQUIRED:For all departments - Please leave a C.V. or your application at either the Cork n Bottle Bar or at The Hole in the Wall Bar with a contact number.
MIDWEEKMenus of the Day
ONLY THE BEST QUALITY
ONLY FRESH PRODUCE
only at:The Belfry Restaurant
FREE & LEGAL TV
*Price can vary depending on type of installation required
Reliable and offering a great service, DIGINOVA has been operating succes-fully in the region for 10 years and of-fers a superb after-sales service.
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19
CarveryTraditional
COMING SOON TOGRAN ALACANT!
In association with:Cork n Bottle&The Hole in the Wall
at The Belfry Restaurant - Plaza Mayor (MASA Square)
STAFF REQUIRED:For all departments - Please leave a C.V. or your application at either the Cork n Bottle Bar or at The Hole in the Wall Bar with a contact number.
MIDWEEKMenus of the Day
ONLY THE BEST QUALITY
ONLY FRESH PRODUCE
only at:The Belfry Restaurant
NOW OPEN!
20 Advertising hotline! 606 540 408 - TAKE UP OUR OFFER!
Inc. Salad Buffet, Starter, Main, Dessert & Coffee
Finest Selected Fish Specialities: Beef & Fish Large Wine Celler
W e S e a F o o d D i f f e r e n t l y
Special Spring Menu
Cod loin with bacon, finely
chopped vegetables & a seafood
sauce with dill.
Menu Especial de PrimaveraLomo de bacaloa cn bacon, verdu-ras en julianas, salsa de mariscos
y eneldo.
Find us on:
Come & celebrate with us17 Mayfrom 7pm
Special Buffet!
Norwegain Constitution
Day
26
27
Computer help & advice
with
Computer help & advice
with
BALEARIC BANTERBy Johnny Mahonny (The Barnsley Marinero)
Greetings from Menorca. This is my first (and, if I don’t pass muster, quite possibly my last) contribution to Mr B’s esteemed organ.
I open with an appeal to all ex-pats living on the
Costa Blanca: living among you is a scoundrel,
a cad, a scallywag. He’s a Yorkshireman (like
myself), his name is Pete, he has curly hair, an
infectious laugh and a peculiar gait which makes
his legs look as if they can’t decide in which di-
rection they should proceed. I even know where
he lives: at the top of a hill near Nerja. There
should be enough clues to make his apprehen-
sion a formality. His crime? In 2003 the bounder
borrowed a fiver off me at Ascot races and never
paid it back. He moved to Spain in 2007, obvious-
ly in a determined effort not to pay his debt.
I don’t expect you folks to put yourselves out for nothing;
there is a financial incentive. I offer a 20% reward for the
recovery of my dosh. When captured, the culprit will likely pay
in euros and at the present rate of exchange that will come
to 6.50 so the finder will be able to deduct 1.30 as his/her re-
ward. The remaining 5.20 should be forwarded to le grand fro-
mage, Mr D Bull at The Penthouse, Bullseye Towers, Alicant.
Alternatively leave it with Horrocks, the doorman at Mr B’s ex-
clusive gentlemen’s club, The Glitz. Or, if you’re down by the
marina just pass it to Nelson, the captain of his superyacht MV
Moolah. It’s the one with a helicopter hanging off the back. Mr
B will then transfer the money to my bank account along with
the generous fee for this article.(If anyone from the Hacienda
is reading this, the last bit was just a joke. Honest.)
I expect there will also be a note winging its way to my
buzon shortly inviting myself and Mrs Mahonny to the Costa
Blanca for a grand tour of the gaffer’s sprawling empire which,
I understand, stretches in both directions as far as the eye
can see. I imagine a private jet will collect us from Mahon
airport, whisking us in luxury to the Costa, where we will be
ushered through Arrivals with salutes and cap-doffing by the
local officials to our stretch limo, thence to Bullseye Towers
for a lavish reception attended by all the local bigwigs and,
of course, the biggest wig of all, Mr Dave Bull, entrepreneur
extraordinaire. Looking forward to it, Dave.
Writing this whilst sitting on the patio outside my tent here
on the northeast coast of Menorca on Sunday April 26th,
I note that next Friday, May 1st, is the official start of our
tourist season. ‘Going Live’, they call it in the trade, which is
the day that the tour operators get their first arrivals. I’ll be
there next Friday morning as daughter No.2 is coming over
for the weekend so I’ll see all the new reps standing nervously
outside Arrivals, shaking like leaves, wishing they’d bought a
pack of Tena Lady extra absorbent (boys included) and hoping
against hope that no-one actually approaches them waving
their booking details and asking what to do next. They all get
through it of course, and go on to enjoy the job of holiday
rep. Having been involved in tourism for the past nine years
I’m constantly amazed at the number of talented, hardwork-
ing youngsters turning up every season. It’s a hard job, and I
wish them all the best of luck.
Hymie: We’ve been friends a long time now, haven’t we Mor-
ry?Morry: We have, Hymie. You’re my best friend in the world.
H: So if you had two houses and I was homeless, you’d give
me one of your houses, wouldn’t you?
M: Of course I would. You’re my best friend in the whole
world.H: And if you had two cars and my car broke down, you’d give
me one of your cars, wouldn’t you?
M: Sure I would. You’re the best friend a man could have.
H: So if you had two chickens...
M: Hold it right there! You KNOW I’ve got two chickens!
A street entertainer complained to Barnsley Town Council
that no matter what he did, playing the trumpet, fire-eating,
tightrope walking etc he couldn’t get any response from the
public. The council wrote back: ‘What do you want, a round a
of applause?’.
Well, that’s all for now. If retained, I’ll be back next time with
more scribblings. Adios or, as they say in Yorkshire, Al si thi.
Johnny Mahonny (The Barnsley Marinero)
28
29
Computer help & advice
with
Join us for Mother’s Day Sunday 15th March and for Easter Sunday, 5th April. Enjoy our delicious traditional Sunday Lunch or choose from some of Laurel & Hardy’s other favourites.
Now OpenCome and enjoy warm hospitality and great food.
Relax in our comfortable,
smart surroundings
Serving our guests the best freshly prepared dishes and offering an inspired, vibrant and regularly changing menu.
Calle Los Arcos, 21, Ciudad Quesadaw: laurelandhardys.com f: Laurel & Hardy’s, Quesada
From Tony in Quesada...Well, what a surprise, I booked a table for my wife, a friend and myself at Laurel and Hardy’s Qusesada and to be honest I expected the usual fair service, reasonable food, at a low price that I find in this area, and I have no complaints about this, it saves my wife from cooking, and me from washing up, and compared to where we live (France) we regard it as good value for money.
Anyway to the point, on our arrival we were met at the door by the proprietors who then showed us to a seating area with very comfortable seating and exchanged pleas-antries with us, within a couple of minute’s a wait-ress came and asked us if we wanted any drinks, we settled for a bottle of house red. By now I had a good look round, the place was divided into 3 areas one was the seating area with a good size bar, off this, was a very large outside area with seating and tables and chairs, with a very nice view of the hills, it would be good in the summer and really good at sunset. Then the restaurant itself. The whole place was spotlessly clean, the waitresses were smart well dressed, and very attentive and pleasant.
After we had consumed a glass of wine each, we all agreed that for house wine it was very good and ordered another one to be open and placed on our table, and at this point we were presented with menus, with a very good selection to choose from, we did, place our order with the waitress, who told us it would be about 10 minutes be-fore it was ready, so another half glass of wine and we were then escorted to our table, our starters appeared as soon as we were settled. When we had finished our plates were cleared and our main course was served on hot plates (the French don’t do this) and then our deserts and coffee in the same efficient way, every course we were asked if everything was to our likening. At this point I could write another page about the quality of the food, I am not going to! Go try it for yourself, take my word for it you will not be disappointed.
To sum up for me, eating out is a mixture of:The Fabric and quality of the restaurant.The cleanliness of the equipment and staff.The quality of the food and wine, in relation to the cost.
And lastly the service and atmosphere of the place.For me they have got all the above absolutely right, we have booked again for Sunday lunch and we will be going again before we head back home to France. The only thing I would say to the owners open a branch in France near us I know you would
do very well.
and...I recently visited Laurel & Hardy for their set Sunday Lunch menu and experienced the most delightful fine dining experience! The greeting upon arrival was faultless with the cheerful expe-rienced staff welcoming me and offering me the opportunity of a pre-dinner drink on the beautiful
terrace with, I must say, extremely comfortable seating I selected my starter and main meal whilst enjoying my drink. Onwards then to the dining room, tastefully decorated and equally comfortable. The choice on the menu was more than suffi-cient with various starters, several roast meat options and then the delicious sweets so amazingly presented you could not refuse! I was delighted that my dinner plate was HOT, the vegetables cooked to perfection, accoutrements for the meal were pre-sented without having to ask, everything was spotlessly clean and the staff, without rushing you, were smartly dressed, efficient, cheery and most helpful. The entire meal was scrumptious and I have to mention, served on the most unusual but nontheless, beautiful white china. Without doubt, I be be returning for another dining delight. From Nicky King
P r ai s e i n d e e d f r o m o n e o f o u r r e a d e r s
OUR PETS YOUR PETS
The Pet Owners Association of Santa Pola and Gran
Alacant (ASPETGA) is pleased to report that the Gran
Alacant Dog Park is nearly complete and open to the
public. As of this writing, the ramps, tunnels and other
features of the obstacle course have been installed in
the agility zone. Benches and bins have been installed
throughout the park. The area has been fenced and
there is a double door gate for security. All that is
missing are the lamp posts and the water fountain.
The end of construction of the park will be done at the
same time as the Parque de la Cruz in Santa Pola since
they are part of the same project funded by the Di-
putacion de Alicante (provincial government.) ASPETGA
and local dog owners are counting the days until the
park opens, not weeks.
The current plan is to celebrate the new park with a
party in mid-May. Please check ASPETGA’s website and
Facebook page for updates.
ASPETGA has launched a fun campaign to demonstrate
public support for the crea-tion of a dog beach in Santa Pola. They are seek-ing pho-tos from supporters of them-selves and their dogs. In the first week of the
campaign, ASPETGA has received snapshots from over
100 families. Signing up is easy. You need a photo with
your dog, on the beach or not. Add your message of
support for a dog beach. You can do this using a tool
like LunaPic. Send your photo to ASPETGA via Face-
You don’t need to have a dog to participate! The Santa
Pola Dog Beach has cat and rabbit supporters too. Nor
do you need to be from Gran Alacant or Santa Pola or
even the Costa Blanca. Messages from abroad or other
parts of Spain are much appreciated. And if you are
not local and would choose to holiday in Santa Pola
because of the dog beach please say so! The neces-
sary approvals for the dog beach are in place but this
push could help this dream become a reality that much
sooner.
Pets In SpainLexy is around 1 year old and was
abandoned in our
vets by her owner,
we placed her in a
foster home with
3 other small dogs
and she is great with them and loves
nothing more than
to be cuddled. She
is sterlised and ready for a new home. Call: 645 469
253. www.petsin-
spain.com
in association with:(ASPETGA)
30
31
Computer help & advice
with
Meditation is the key to leading a peaceful, happy and spiritual life. It is a way of re-laxing by letting go of stress and calming the mind. As a Clairvoyant Medium, one of the questions I get asked the most is “how do I meditate”. Meditation requires patience and practice and even if you are following a guided meditation as part of a group, each indi-vidual journey will be unique.
It can be difficult at first to find the time to sit still, never mind emptying your mind of negative thoughts and ‘just being’, but once you master how to do this, your pa-tience will be rewarded.
HOW TO MEDITATE• Find somewhere quiet where you are not going to be disturbed, with no phones ringing, dogs barking, etc.• Put some relaxing music on (low)• Light a couple of candles, aromatherapy oil, and/or some incense (do not leave any burning when you are not in the room)• Either sit upright in a chair with your eyes closed and hands on your knees or lie down with eyes closed (It may be pref-erable with meditation to sit in a chair as there is less likelihood of you falling asleep!)• Ground yourself and imagine bringing white light down around your body for psychic protection• Concentrate on your breathing. Inhale 3 long deep breaths, exhaling slowly and steadily.• Practice visualisation by holding a sym-bolic image in your mind’s eye. Here’s how: -
VISUALISATION TECHNIQUEI want you to imagine a white scented can-dle and a box of matches sitting on a table in front of you. Take a match out of the box and light the candle. Take your time – there is no rush in meditation. Once lit, the flame of the candle gets higher and higher, and as it dances and expands, I want you to hold that image in your mind’s eye. You are beginning to feel so peaceful and relaxed. As you focus on the flame
you start to see shapes and images.Look right into the core of the flame and you can see a beautiful yellow star. As you hold the flame in your mind’s eye, you see other colours swirling in and out. What colours can you see? If your mind begins to wander, bring it back and look directly into the flame of the candle.Now you can smell the candle – the aroma of jasmine and lavender wrap around you softly and you feel at one with yourself. As you go deeper in relaxation you can hear the crackle of the flame as it continues to flicker and dance. You can now feel it’s warmth as if you are being wrapped in a comfort blanket. Your mind is illuminated in its strength and your body feels light and free.I will leave you for a moment in tranquil-lity.........
It’s now time to come back to the present time so visualise yourself blowing out the candle and bringing your awareness back into the room. Feel the chair beneath you and wriggle your fingers and toes. When you are ready, open your eyes. Know that you can practice this visualisa-tion technique as many times as you wish and as you get more advanced in medita-tion you will enjoy your own inward jour-neys of self-discovery through visualisa-tion.
It is a good idea to write down your medi-tations in a journal including how you felt, what/who you saw, as well as what you sensed, smelled etc. As you look back through your journal you will see how you have gone deeper within your meditations and how you have grown through practice and experience.
Do not worry if you feel you don’t get much to start with. Please, whatever you do, don’t give up! Meditating is a won-derful and breathtaking experience. As with everything else, the more you prac-tice, the more rewarding it will be. Just let your mind become free, and open, and more than anything, trust and believe.....
www.thequirkymedium.blogspot.com.es
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