THE PULSE CARNE ELKSADA BURRITO TRY THIS AT YOUR NEXT FIESTA? FIRST, MARINADE YOUR RABID ELK IN YOUR FAVORITE CARNE CONCOC- TION. THEN GRILL THE MEAT TO MEDIUM REAR. THEN CHOP AND STUFF IT IN YOUR BURRITOS WITH BEANS AND GUACAMOLE! FETTUCINE ELKFRADO FIRST, PAN SEAR YOUR RABID ELK STRIPS UNTIL THEY ARE BLACKENED. NEXT, PREP YOUR ALFREDO SAUCE BY MIXING CREME, BUTTER, AND SOME OF THE PAN FRIED LIQUID LEFTO- VERS. SERVE THE MEAT AND OVER BOWTIE NOODLES. ELK POT PIE FIRST GRIND UP SOME RABID ELK AND ADD TO THE PASTRY INGREDIENTS. ROLL OUT THIS DOUGH TO FORM YOUR PIE SHELL. FILL THE PIE WITH AS- SORTED GROUND PROVI- SIONS AND RABID ELK CHUNKS. BAKE AND SERVE. Actual photo of actual tree sharks actually attacking a staff member (Inter- view on page 3) “Life versus more life! I can’t lose.” Philippians 1:21(MSG) Just in case your completly fed up with the camp food then the kitchen prep cooks recom- mend you take these Rabid Elk recipes home! CPR - Week 8 July 27-31, 2009 MORE KWIK FIX RABID ELK RECIPES
Transcript
THE P
ULSE
CARNE ELKSADA BURRITO
TRY THIS AT YOUR NEXT FIESTA? FIRST, MARINADE YOUR RABID ELK IN YOUR FAVORITE CARNE CONCOC-TION. THEN GRILL THE MEAT TO MEDIUM REAR. THEN CHOP AND STUFF IT IN YOUR BURRITOS WITH BEANS AND GUACAMOLE!
FETTUCINE ELKFRADOFIRST, PAN SEAR YOUR RABID ELK STRIPS UNTIL THEY ARE BLACKENED. NEXT, PREP YOUR ALFREDO SAUCE BY MIXING CREME, BUTTER, AND SOME OF THE PAN FRIED LIQUID LEFTO-VERS. SERVE THE MEAT AND OVER BOWTIENOODLES.
ELK POT PIEFIRST GRIND UP SOME RABID ELK AND ADD TO THE PASTRY INGREDIENTS. ROLL OUT THIS DOUGH TO FORM YOUR PIE SHELL. FILL THE PIE WITH AS-SORTED GROUND PROVI-SIONS AND RABID ELK CHUNKS. BAKE AND SERVE.
Actual photo of actual tree sharks
actually attacking a staff member (Inter-
view on page 3)
“Life
ver
sus
mor
e lif
e! I
can’
t los
e.”
Phili
ppia
ns 1
:21(
MSG
)
Just in case your completly fed up with the camp food then the kitchen prep cooks recom-mend you take these Rabid Elk recipes home!
CPR - Week 8July 27-31, 2009
MORE KWIK FIX RABID ELK RECIPES
The happiest place on earth! That’s what Camp Ponderosa felt like this
week as the staff prepared to close out the 2009 Summer Camp
season. The most obvious sign of happiness had to be the unex-
pected appearance of a happy face in Kristelle’s breadstick. When
she looked a little closer she found that it also had a happy little
voice. And when she inquired of that happy little voice it
told her how she could be happier. It told her, “Buy your-
self another scarf. You’ll be happy especially if you need
protection from a tree shark. When Jordan inquired it
told him to tell less jokes. The breadstick also said, “Be-
sides it would make everyone else much happier as well.”
The breadstick told GI-NO to build more bombs. The bread-
stick told Cody to wear the Super Bear costume more often.
Cody told the breadstick that he will wear it to school in the Fall. The
breadstick told
Stephen Hartt to talk like Gollum more often. The breadstick added,
“Even though it creeps everyone else out it obviously brings you great
joy.” When Neil Labarge attempted to ask the breadstick what
would make him happier the breadstick cut him off, “Isn’t it
obvious? Work more!” The breadstick told MJ to lead
more Camp Songs even if no one else was around to
sing them. The breadstick told Mark M. to “Get your
MAC repaired!” The breadstick told Caleb H. to share
less of his ear wax with his brother. But, the breadstick
took one look at Josh H. and said, “Drink more of your
brother’s earwax!” Now, after that would you trust the advice of
a talking breadstick?
“Drink more of your brother’s
earwax!”
By the numbers...743 - The number of Kung-Fu moves that Rachel U. is itching to use on a Rabid Elk or Tree Shark.
2 - The number of yearbook forms Captain Chris received on time. Captain Chris is looking forward to making everything up.
2 - The number of staff that have already asked for an application to work at camp in 2010. Nurse Anne, can you please check the head of David Oh and Mark D?
“DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY!” - THE BREADSTICK
WHO ON EARTH OWNS THAT “T”?
We’ve learned alot about each other this
summer. Some of the lessons surprised us and
some of it was just what we expected to find out. A number of those lessons came from the t-
shirts that were worn. Can you name the owners
of these? Be one of the first three to see Cap-
tain Chris with the correct answers and he’ll give you one of his T’s!
Quote of the week
NAME? NAME? NAME? NAME?
AN INTERVIEW WITH A TREE SHARK ATTACK VICTIM!Cpt C - What were you doing in boys town all alone when you
knew about the tree shark sightings?
SH - I decided to hang back and clean both bathrooms. My
male comrades work so hard that I wanted to do something spe-
cial for them.
Cpt C - Wow. You’re quite the guy. So when did you
notice you weren’t alone?
SH - Well, first I heard snapping of twigs and crunch-
ing of rocks, but then I realized it was just Chad hiding in a
bush drinking a Sugar-Free Red Bull.
Cpt C - Oh, but when did you notice the tree sharks were
lurking?
SH - Well, I had just ripped open a bag of beef jerky. I guess
the scent got in the air quickly. It acted just like chum for those
hideous monsters!
Cpt C - What kind of jerky was it?
SH - Asian-Style Pork Jerky from COSTCO.
Cpt C - Nice. I heard David Oh doesn’t like that kind?
SH - I heard that too.
Cpt C - So what happened next?
SH - You saw the picture. I flung the bag of jerky
at the one closest. It went right down the tree
sharks throat and into its gut. Then I just started
flailing my arms and screaming like a little girl. It
was weird. I didn’t even go anywhere. The pic-
ture shows it perfectly. I just stayed in one place
flailing those arms and screaming with my best tenor.
Ralph Pearce would have been proud.
Cpt C - I’ll bet. I think you did the right thing though. I seem to
recall that when you are confronted by a tree shark you should ex-
tend your limbs within reach and annoy them with high pitched
noises?
SH - Well, that about describes what I did. I did get grazed by
one of the teeth though. Look here...On my forearm. In the same
place Shawn C. bit Heather H. I had to use a pair of Markus W’s
choney’s as a tourniquet.
Cpt C - Good thinking. But wait. You said Chad was there.
What did he do the whole time this was happening?
SH - He just stood there in the
bush drinking his Red Bull and
laughing at me? When I looked
at him he just lifted his can to
me and said, “Cheers!”
Cpt C - Wow! Hard to believe
it, but I can certainly picture it.
So what did you do when the
tree sharks left?
SH - I finished cleaning the
bathrooms and then headed for
my second half free-time duty
at the bouncy castle.
Cpt C - Wow! What a guy!
“IT ACTED JUST LIKE CHUM IN THE WATER FOR THOSE
HIDEOUS MON-STERS!”
“AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A RABID ELK OR EVEN A TREE
SHARK, BUT THEN I REALIZED IT WAS SHAWN C. THAT BIT MY
ARM.” - HEATHER H.
TWO STAFF MEMBERS FOUND A STRANGE ORB IN THE MEADOW AND NOW SOME STAFF ARE CLAIMING
STRANGE NEW ABILITIES?
ALBERTO ASHLEY C. DAVID S. ANTONIO
“EVER SINCE I TOUCHED THAT ORB THINGY I CAN BOIL MY CUP OF RAMAN NOODLES IN THE PALM OF MY HAND”
“I CAN BEND SPOONS WITH MY MIND. I’VE AC-TUALLY BENT ABOUT 200
SPOONS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. SORRY DIANE!”
“YOU KNOW THAT HO-DOWN KICK THAT THE MALE CITs DO ON OPENING NIGHT? WELL, LET’S JUST SAY THAT I CAN NOW WRAP THAT
